i believe in happy endings

agent-85  asked:

Rani! I have a fic prompt, if you don't mind? Jemma asking Fitz: "Are you still mine?"

I never mind for youuuu! :) here’s a healthy dose of angst, haha. just what the doctor ordered? *cries about Fitzsimmons forever*

Up on AO3! Beginning below:

———-

Fitz thinks of all the evenings he longed for her, ashamed of both his lust and his love. He can still feel the ache he buried so deeply within himself it became part of his genetic makeup. He remembers lying on his bed in a cramped bunk, the quiet whir of the plane bleaching to white noise, thinking: I love you and I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me. He remembers the traitorous prayer, washing over him each night as he faded into sleep, when he was at his most vulnerable and could no longer fight it: But please, please love me back.

He thinks of this and wonders how he could have been so naïve. He’d had so little experience of the world; he didn’t know it was possible to share a bed with someone you loved with your whole heart and still feel empty and alone. He didn’t know it was possible to receive everything you’d ever wished for, only to watch yourself slowly tear it all to shreds.

Maybe things would be different if they weren’t in some mysterious space prison. Maybe on Earth there could be therapy and indefinite leave to a cottage in Perthshire. He imagines it, sometimes, when he feels he deserves the extra punishment. Jemma would smile—like she used to, not this small brittle expression she gives him now, as if he’ll shatter at any moment.

Here they’ve all been separated. He hears murmurings from the guards occasionally, a whispered mention of “Coulson” or a sneering, contemptuous “Little Ms. Quake.” A part of him can’t wait until they’re free and Daisy makes their captors pay, but mostly he keeps his head down and hands Jemma the tools she needs.

As far as he can tell, the menial labor they do only serves to keep this ship/station/rock thing in space. Still, he can’t help the tremors that run through him at the idea that his work, however inconsequential, could be supporting something horrible and he has no idea. He had refused, at first, which landed him in solitary confinement with no food or water until Jemma had been allowed in his cell to beg.

“We’re just keeping ourselves alive,” she’d said. “I can’t find any evidence that what we’re doing in the lab is hurting anyone.”

At his silence she had grabbed his hand. “I promise, and if I’m wrong it’ll be my burden to bear.”

And when he still didn’t respond, she had forced him to look at her and she had cried. “You can’t do this to me,” she said. “You can’t kill yourself like this.”

So now his days follow a steady, unvarying rhythm he’s never before experienced: a shrill, station-wide alarm in the morning, a quick shower, toast and butter with Jemma and a ridiculous number of guards, mindless work in the lab, a thirty-minute lunch break, rotations to fix a keyboard or the wiring in a door panel, dinner with Jemma and a second group of guards, and then lights out in their room.

He has the side of the bed near the wall, and every night he curls as far away from her as he can manage. During the day, they work together seamlessly. Sometimes they even joke, and sometimes he looks at her and for half a second believes they’re back home in their lab, happy and in love, before everything fell apart.

But at night their bodies are too close and he’s never felt more alone. She cries when she thinks he’s asleep, silently, her body barely moving.

He wants to extend a hand and touch her. He wants to hold her and tell her everything will be okay. But he would be lying, and at any rate, he’s lost the right. So he listens to her cry and bites down on his knuckles, hard, to keep himself from reaching for her. Eventually, her shaking subsides into the tortured breathing of her nightmares, and he lets sleep force him under as well.

Every morning he wakes before her to find himself tangled up in her limbs, as if he’s drowning and she’s his life raft, and he hates himself for it.

10

..waking from a long and terrible nightmare.

2

My heart is pierced by Cupid;

I disdain all glittering gold.

There is nothing can console me

But my jolly sailor bold.
___

I’m trying to fight my art block and I received some lovely suggestions I’m going to draw.

Mer!Hanzo and Pirate!McCree was one of these.
@rebeza and @finchworks are my inspirations and I look up to their designs and AUs ‘cause wow.

Have you ever seen a prettier Hanzo?

when ur bf is bigger than u and knows u dont mind surprise smooches rb if u agree

8

It’s like in the great stories. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were.

4

- Why am I still alive?
- I don’t know.

3

“Life is more a matter of choosing than knowing. He could never know the eventual destination of his path, but he could always choose in which direction to take each step.” 

― Matthew Woodring Stover, “Traitor”

Of finding, and losing. And finding again.

Or

“You make me a believer”

I listened to “Believer” by Imagine Dragons while doodling and well I ended up drawing this, because the lyrics kinda reminded me of Keith and his relationship with Shiro (even if you don’t ship them, they’re still closer than the rest and Shiro is a big part of Keith’s life). And it really hurts me that Keith loses Shiro time and again, only to get him back more broken than before.

I’m really excited to see if Keith will find him in the next season, too. If there’s something left of the old Shiro to be found anyway. I guess my all-time worst case scenario would be the Paladins finding Shiro, but he got brainwashed and is now the enemy, fighting the team for a few seasons, while Keith stubbornly believes that there’s still something of his good old Shiro left in there. All he has to do is get him back and he’ll remember. He’ll remember that he’s one of the good guys and most important: he’ll remember that he belongs to Keith. Not the Galra. So a heartbreaking chase across the universe starts in order to get a hold of their black Paladin.

This would be the worst they can do to me. Seriously. I don’t want to see how that’d affect Keith - and the rest of the team. I’d simply die.

But I like to believe that their fates (again, even if you don’t ship them) are somehow woven together and they’d find eachother no matter what. I still believe in a happy end!! :3

I think my problem was - I’ve always had this idea of what love was like, you know? I was so scared to fall in love because I thought I would only get hurt in the end. I guess I just never believed in happy ever afters. I thought love was biting your tongue and nodding your head and being who they wanted you to be. But god, then I met him and suddenly I felt like I could breathe again. He told me he loved me and I told him the same and I knew we both meant it. I knew it because I wasn’t afraid to dance in front of him. I knew it because anywhere felt like home if I was with him. Because hearing his laugh made me feel like I was walking on water. Because my hand felt empty without his. I knew it because I believed love felt like being in a cage. But then he loved me, and it felt like freedom.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #3
EvilColdFlash Idea:

Well more like a theory really. I know the vast majority if not all of us want some hot af smut between these two, but I can’t help but think that Leonard, despite the offer to be a god and mind blowing sex, would be super cautious and wary of Savitar. How does he know if this Barry will keep his word? If his family, (Lisa and Mick), won’t be used against him? What if he’s being used and will be discarded once he’s no longer useful or wanted?

Basically trust issues up the ass, cause everything Savitar is offering sounds too good to be true.

My idea was having evil!Barry try to seduce and earn Leonard’s trust. Whether or not his feelings are genuine or become real as he continues his efforts to get Len on his side are up to the writer.

ok so that new clip, to me, just confirms my theories and even takes them a step further:

  • isak is sana’s mirror
  • the similarities are highlighted so much it’s suspicious 
  • i still think yousef will not be the love interest, ultimately (sana likes him, no doubt, but i’m still not convinced he likes her like that)
  • because even and isak’s journey so far is paralleled a lot in sana’s story
  • but julie knows how to use parallels, both to foreshadow and surprise us
  • in s3, we had a ton of r+j parallels very early on which led people to think isak or even was going to die or their couple would end tragically
  • but in the end we got a “pretty woman” ending
  • the parallels were there to set us up for something and eventually surprise us by twisting the ending
  • so i think julie is setting us up here for an evak-style yousana
  • girl likes boy, girl looks at him from afar, boy seems flirty, theyll end up together and happy and the boy will be all doe-eyed and “i noticed you immediately”
  • but that’s not what we will get
  • i’m not sure WHAT we’ll get eventually but i really think julie is setting us up here so she can surprise us, pull the rug
  • and the mikael thing is partly a distraction, partly a blatant plot point: but not the one we’re expecting
  • we’re expecting mikael to be a huge subplot with even
  • i think it is a subplot with even but i also think mikael will become very important in sana’s primary plot
  • mikael is taking more and more space in sana’s environment
  • just in that “yousef” clip, it was more actually about mikael
  • and when sana was staring at his pictures, we got the camera move up to mikael
  • sana is not looking directly at him but he is there, and he is taking more and more space in her literal and metaphorical visual field
  • and that julie is distracting us because she knew we would recognise mikael, mari “accidentally” made yousef’s fb public before the trailer so we “accidentally” saw the pictures of the balloon squad with mikael
  • this fandom is an internet one, they know this
  • this is not a TV show where active fandom online is not addressed or only in jokes, SKAM built its entire marketing on the internet
  • julie herself said “if you knew how hard it’s been to keep you on your toes”
  • julie is distracting us by waving mikael as an evak subplot right at us
  • while in the background, she’s setting him up to be a big part of the main sana plot
  • she’s showing us all these parallels between evak and yousana
  • but there is parallel and there is copy
  • and so far it’s bordering on a copy of the evak plot and that’s suspicious
  • i do believe in a happy ending with a happy sana
  • but i don’t believe it’ll be a yousana one
8

Just gotta tell ya before this thing goes on, you gotta realize that the only way out is in a body bag. Now we don’t have to write our vows. “

8

                            I just wanna keep callin’ your name

                                          Until you come back

                                                    H O M E

5

Go! I’ll be right behind you.