i bawled my eyes out when this first came out omg

give me minute yall

please excuse my english, i’ve never gotten good grades 

i finally pulled myself together(not) and I just want to say that I’m very very proud of NCT and even us the fans . We’ve all been through so much . Protecting our boys from the cruel world with the best of our abilities;A;

OK lets start from  the oldest Mark, we all know about him having to debut in 3 different units. And not once he complained about being tired or anything .He even told us how happy he was and how he wanted to see the fans more. That shows how much he love this career and would do anything to make us happy. From being the youngest to being the leader would have taken a toll on him. And im pretty sure that even if he doesn’t show, there was probably times where he felt very exhausted . Especially with the people calling absolutely fully capable .You’ve worked hard Mark Lee

Renjun , omg this boy . He came from China and had to learn korean and being far from his family would probably make that kid sad af. Apart from that , he also helps his fellow member Chenle with adapting to this new surrounding . imagine being not sure of something yourself but then you go take yourself sure of it cause people look up to him.  Iwould honestly be stressed to the max if i was him.I applause him for that. you too, have worked hard Huang Renjun 

next we have Jeno. Being an idol , theres this part where you’ve gotta be talented at many things and also be funny.As most of us would know Jeno finds himeself the most boring in NCT which is not true of course. I believe he just gotta open up more and he probably be as funny as Haechan . Jeno needs more confidence and I can tell he’s working on in especially in the recent NCT DREAM Vlive where Mark was absent and he took the sub leader role .And we can see how much he talked compared to before. Actually all the members became more comfortable now and it makes me so soft inside .SO if we give it more time ,NCT would probably be variety gods. You’ve work hard Lee Jeno.

now my boi Haechan . I have no idea where to start and I feel that this will get long af. We all know how this boy can be mischievous and sassy .But lets all also remember that he is probably the most softest kid in NCT. As canbe seen from today, he was the first to cry when NCT DREAM was announced as the winner . I could understand why though. He has been going on about wanting to get first place on music shows since early 2017 and having his wish come true probably felt like a miracle (oh god im crying again) He ihas been a trainee since 2014?? when he was 14. Like damn his voice was probably just started to break and we all know how stressful it is to train your voice when puberty is hitting you like nobody’s bussiness. Oh and let’s not forget how strong he is . Like he was bawling his eyes out awhile ago but then a few seconds later he started hitting notes like an angel like it was a piece of cake.Damn son. He was probably thinking about how he was the team mood maker , and he wanted to show us how he happy he is . AND IM CRYYING .ok so. im so proud oof you . You’ve worked hard Lee Donghyuck 

Chenle , oh baby chenle .All the way from china with not much knowledge about korea or even kpop but here he is ., Slaying every stage . He was already a celebrity in China before he came here, but he still stayed in korea ,learn the language , and debut as a member of NCT. How hard did he work to be here only he and the members a know.Let’s not forget he is only 16 this year. WOW . when i was 16 i was stuggling with school.Im sososo proud of him . I can’t fully describe how much this is making me feel.yOU Zhong Chenle, have worked hard.

Our maknae , jisung.Bby chick JISung he so young . AND SO TALENTED .how does SM get this kids????Omg ok smol baby  jisung started dancing probably after he came out of the womb.Ok but serious , boys his age would be playing outside with friends instead of being in the studio and dance rooms for hours .With so much schedule and rules to follow.Scratch that NCT DREAM practically gave up their childhood to be where  they are now. Damn . You’ve  work hard Park Jisung .

Last and not least, Our Happy Virus Jaemin .gOd i missed him so much it hurts, so , damn, much. From what i heard , he was already suffering that waist injury since he was a trainee? im not so sure . But if  its true, i’m so proud of him, risking his health so that he could show us am azing performance that they have been practising .But i also hope that he take care of himself more now. it really hurts to see them hurting. Im sure he is sad that he can’t join his members in this comeback. sO many things had happen , and not being able to be there probably made him guilty but i hope he knows everyone misses him and hope he recover really soon cause we really need our happy virus.omG HIS SMILE. yOu’ve worked hard Na Jaemin

so in conclusion im totally whipped for NCT as a whole but today’s event made me reflect on how hard they all worked . Haters , if you have nothing nice  to say,then please shut up and mind your bussiness. NCT fans let’s continue supporting every single one of them cause they are family and everyone should be loved.Let’s not hate one member or one unit because your fav didnt get to shine.Its just the start ,theres still alot of time ,I believe all NCT members will shine so brightly that the haters go blin. lets love them okayy!


This is a HUGE thank you to all the people who contributed to create this amazing show (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

I’ve been working on this ever since the episode came out and my heart broke and soared at the same time but I’ve waiting till now to post this because today comes out the last episode in France and I had to contribute to this scene. Oc I had to I mean this is probably one of the most emotional and perfect and amazing moments in a show ever. I specially love the parts in which the umbrella closes and the way Adrien says une amie as his face softens up cue me bawling and his world starts to change and the music omg the painfully beautiful music.

This drawings have a story that will go under the cut becasue it’s a little long. It’s not exactly a fic because I haven’t had time, more like the outline of it all and some details and lots of headcanons. I may write it entirely when I have time though :)

Keep reading

Someone asked me today what’s the best and worst thing that’s happened to me this year and I was pretty stuck on it. I know for sure the best thing is that I’ve gotten closer to my mom and I started fashion design school. At first I was thinking that the worst thing was how much weight I gained, or the crappier my relationship got with my dad but those aren’t the worst things. Like yeah they suck but those aren’t it. The worst thing was me losing one of my closest best friends. And the reason it’s the worst thing is because we didn’t even have a fight. She dropped me like I didn’t exist. And I never talked about it to anyone about it because I didn’t know what to say. Her and I were best friends since 2012/2013. We were inseparable :) she lives 4 hours away from me but distance meant nothing. Everyday we talked on the phone and we texted each other nonstop. We cried and opened our hearts to each other. She was the only one who truly understood the pain I went through when my parents divorced ❤️She was with me right after and she comforted me. Wallahi she’s the best person I’ve ever met. She took baby steps with me towards the deen. She taught me self respect and she really helped me with my mental health. This girl listened to me when no one else would. Even when I wasn’t talking she was there for me to lean on. I’ve never met anyone as beautiful and as strong as her. She made me feel valued and I never realized I needed that until she did it for me. In the beginning of this year she started texting me less. We were getting busy with school and we had our moments where we needed to focus on our studies. But then she wasn’t answering my messages. She didn’t have time to pick up my phone calls. I’m not stupid I can tell when someone isn’t putting enough effort into talking to me. I kept asking what was wrong and if I hurt her. No answer. I tried asking if she was ok and I’m always here for her and I’ll do anything for her. No answer. I texted her on her birthday and she said thank you days later. Texted her during Ramadan, on Eid, basically any excuse to message her. I’d either get short answers or nothing. Finally over the summer after work I was tired and feeling sad because I really missed her and the truth is I was really worried about her. I called her when I got in my car and she picked up! She immediately started laughing and saying things like ‘where have you been?! Omg Malak it’s been so long girl. Why you don’t talk to me anymore?’ Y'all know what I’m talking about. Dude I lost it when she did that. I went on about how she wasn’t answering me and I’ve been trying to give her her space but it’s been nearly 6 months and now I’m worried. What’s going on? What’s happening? She just laughed and was like idk girl it’s just life. Which made me cry. I busted into tears. I bawled my eyes out and I kept telling her I missed her. I asked her to forgive me for whatever I did to hurt her. She laughed at me. Then I heard a guy in the back laughing too. And she hung up. I don’t know exactly what was going on and I don’t want to make any assumptions cause I really do care for her. She’s a good person but it breaks my heart she doesn’t want me in her life anymore. She texted me about two months ago asking me if I still lived in DFW. I obviously still do and she wanted a place to stay at because she was visiting. Which was fine with me all I’ll be there to help a friend out, but she only wanted somewhere to sleep she didn’t want to stay with me. She only wanted to use me and that’s it. She went out of her way only once this whole year to ask me if I lived near dallas so she had a place to crash at. And this is when I walked away from her because in our years of friendship I begged my parents THREE times to drive four hours down and spend money for the weekend for me to visit and spend time with her. The fourth time I flew out to see her. I spent money on airfare because of how much she meant to me. She NEVER tried driving up to see me. She never visited me. And the one time she was able to come up here for work she only needed a place to sleep. She eventually came to dallas but never texted me to let me know she was there. And we haven’t spoken since. I hope we can be friends again one day. She was such a positive impact in my life and I know I was a positive influence on hers too. She loved me so much and I love her just the same.

Temporary Affairs II

 Table of Contents 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Chapter 12.  The Proposal

Overcome with tears and a wide toothy smile, you squirmed around in the wheel chair.  Jongin and you had just visited your little princess at the nursery.  To be honest, you barely recognized her.  She was only three days old but had grown twice the size she was when she first arrived into the world.  Her skin was now silky smooth and her eyes fully opened – and yep, as Jongin had hoped, they were big and round just like her mothers. 

You couldn’t wait to go back again; tomorrow couldn’t arrive any sooner.  You’re so overjoyed by the recent encounter with Yoona that you didn’t even notice Jongin wasn’t wheeling you back to your room until you were already at the lobby. 

Looking around in puzzlement, you asked, “Oppa, did you take a wrong turn?”

But the smirk on his face told you otherwise.

“Where are we going?” you questioned, already knowing what he was going to reply with.  You’ll see…


“You’ll see…” he slurred.  Oh, you mysterious, sexy man.  Stop it!  I love you.


Your husband walked over to the receptionist and she nodded knowingly before turning around to fetch something for him.  You strained to look, curious as to what was going on.  Jongin took the two winter coats from her.

“Jagiya, put this on,” he handed you a white puffy coat.  His was dressed in a matching black one.  

“Are we going outside?” you questioned and he nodded.  From his pocket, he took out some earmuffs and placed it over your ears. 

When you were fully dressed for the cold weather, he exited through the front door and U-turned through a maze so expertly you thought he must have gone to the destination at least twenty times.  After passing the hospital outdoor café area, he took one last right turn into a large field of grass.  Icicles formed on the tips like snowflake crowns.  So pretty!  But why are we here?  You turned around to your husband only to discover that he was nowhere in sight.  Confused, you stood up and looked around. 

“Oppa?” you called.  Oh, heck no he did not just leave me in the middle of nowhere!  You had no idea how to get back either because of that crazy maze. 

“Oppa?!” you called out again, “I’m going to be mad if you don’t come out soon!” 

Suddenly a buzzing noise hovered over your head.  Tilting your chin up, you saw a toy helicopter forming different shapes in the air.  On your tiptoes, you attempted to grab it but whoever was controlling it was teasing your short height. 

“Hmph, you’re so mean Oppa!” you pouted, kicking the snow with your feet. 

And then the helicopter floated in front of you.  You extended your hands out and it landed perfectly onto the center of your palms.  Stuck on the bottom was a rolled up note.  Hehe.  Eagerly, you took it and opened to read the contents. 

“Take ten steps to the South,” it read. 

“Oppaaaa, you know I can’t tell my directions!” you shouted, thinking he must still be around. 

But then you squinted and in tiny letters it read, “My silly panda bear, that means ‘Take ten steps to your right’”. 

You muffled a giggle and obediently followed the directions.  In front of you was a streetlamp.  What’s so amazing about a freakin’ streetlamp? 


“Kim Jongin-ssi, you did not bring me out here just to stare at a streetlamp, did you?” you questioned but as you do, you saw engraved letters on the shaft. 

Squinting, you lifted your hand and grazed over the words that read, “You are the light of my life”.  You are mine too.  Sniffing, you blinked back tears. 

Again a buzzing noise flew in circles over your head before falling into your palms.  The note read, “Take fifteen steps forward”.  You do so and came face to face with a wooden bench swing.  On the wood were the words, “You are the one who gives me momentum through times I don’t even want to try anymore”.  A teardrop fell from your eyes. You are too. 

Another helicopter landed with the directional guidance of, “Take twenty steps to your left”.  In front of you was a large heart-shaped rock that read, “You are my one and only”.  You took a small pebble from the ground and craved the words, “You are too, Pabo”. 

“Turn 45 degrees to your left and take fifty steps forward,” another note read.  You skipped along and even from a distance, you could already see the lights that sparkled in the evening sky.  In front of you was a large tree decorated with streamers, lace, white Christmas lights, and glass bottles.  You walked around it trying to search for any engraved words on the trunk but there weren’t any. 

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here!” you shouted, still thinking – no, knowing that your husband was around because he wouldn’t leave you alone and by yourself in the cold evening. 

And then you realized the glass bottles had little rolled up paper stars in them.  You tiptoed and removed one from a branch.  Unraveling the origami, you smiled widely when you discovered that they did indeed contain written notes.  This one read, “Her cute aegyo”.  Puzzled, you took another one and it said, “The way she drools every time she falls asleep”.  You opened another one, and then another one…


“The way she kicks around in bed”.


“Her adorable slightly tilted canine tooth”.


“How she always crinkles her nose when I peck her lips”.


“The softness of her kisses”.


“The way her lashes flutter when she’s shy”.


“Her endearing nervous laughter and habit of rubbing of the back of her neck”.


“Her ridiculously lovable, ‘Hehe’ that causes my insides to melt”.


“The way she’s always so humble and never gives herself enough credit”.


“Her small Cinderella feet”.


“Her smooth silky hair”.


“The way she blushes every time I kiss her”.


“The way she gazes at me with those dreamy eyes”.


By then you were drowning in your tears.  You didn’t think a silly question you asked months ago, regarding why he loved you, would cause him to plan such a breathtaking event for you.  And he managed to keep it a secret from you this whole time. 

You continued to open the bottles.

“The way she smells after a shower”.


“Her morning breath”.  “What?  Now this one doesn’t make sense, Kim Jongin-ssi,” you laughed out loud.

“Her little habit of pacing around the room when she’s nervous”.


“The way she always wears my jackets even though she has ten times more clothes than me stuffed in her closet”.  “Is this a complaint?” you questioned, giggling. 

“Her curvaceous figure reserved for only me ~wink wink~”.  You blushed. 

The way her brows furrow every time she is deep in thought”.


“The way her fingers dance along my skin”.


“How she doesn’t realize how beautiful she is”.


“How she’s never afraid to be the first to apologize and admit her mistakes”.


“Her silliness and clumsiness”.


“The way her chest goes up and down so calmingly in the middle of the night”. 


“Her tight snuggles”.


“Her laughter and smile”. 


“The way she playfully slaps my arm every time she’s embarrassed”.


“The little tinge of pink that appears on her cheeks every time I tell her she’s beautiful”. 


Stretching your arms way high up, you took the final bottle.  This one was different from all the other ones because it was bigger in size and illuminated a pink light.  Even before you twisted the cap open, your vision was already clouded up. 

Inside was an origami heart.  Wiping away your tears so you could actually read the note, you unfolded the heart and instantly burst into tears reading the contents. 

“The way she loves me like I love her,” a voice spoke out loud from behind you. 

Turning around, you saw Jongin standing about ten feet away from you with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.  With a deep breath, he physically shook away his jitters and slowly walked up to meet you.  You took the flowers from his hands and he wiped away the tears the streamed down from your eyes.   


“What is all this for?” you asked, staring deep into his captivating orbs. 

“For this,” he responded.  For what? 

He took out a velvet box from his pockets and got down on one knee.  Wuhhh?  Wait…wait…


“Oppa…what are you doing?” you asked, confused.

“_______ _______, will you marry me?” he asked.  Wait…wait I’m so confused. 

“Um…We’re already married…are you okay, Oppa?” you asked worriedly, placing your hand on his forehead.  Crap, did the whole giving birth thing permanently scar him so much that he has amnesia? 

“I know, but will you marry me?” he inquired.  I’m still so confused. 

“Pabo, we’re already married,” you repeated, holding out your left hand and pointing at your wedding ring with your right. 

“I know, but will you marry me?” he repeated.  Omg, Oppa, are you okay?  My poor hubby. 


“I’m so confused,” you admitted.  Wait, maybe it’s not Oppa who’s going crazy.  Maybe I’m going crazy.  Omg.  Omg.  Crap. 

“Jagiya, it’s true that we’re married.  But I never got the chance to propose to you.  I never got the chance to make sure that you knew I loved you before we got married.  We never got to go on our Honey Moon either because I got you pregnant before it even happened…” he explained, “Will you give me a chance today to make it up to you?” 

Biting your lip to keep yourself from crying, you responded, “Pabo, I never kept tabs on those things”.

“I know you don’t but you deserve it.  Because I want you to know how lucky I feel to have you as my wife,” he explained. 

You could no longer stop yourself from crying, so you bawled, letting all the liquid you held back spill out.

“So, _______ _______, will you marry this Pabo Kim Jongin.  Will you promise to love him even when he’s old and wrinkly and his six-pack turns into a beer belly?” he asked with his eyes sparkling in the night sky.

Parting your lips, you tried to answer “yes” but you were crying so hard nothing came out, so instead you nodded your head repeatedly. 

Sighing in relief, Jongin slipped the new ring so that it sat comfortably above the first wedding band.  You brought it up to your face to see that it was the shape of a pacifier.  Engraved on the band were the words, “Kim Yoona”. 

“For every child we have in the future, I’ll propose to you again and add another ring onto your finger,” he spoke.  Gahh, don’t do this to me.  I’m going to melt. 

You let out a cute whimpering sound. 

“Do you like it?” he asked.  I love it!


“I love you,” you said instead, before sobbing again. 

Smiling at you with his deep starry eyes, he cupped your face and placed his lips onto yours.  The bouquet of flowers dropped from your hands and you threw your arms around his neck, kissing him back.  Everything felt so surreal to you ever since the moment you met this man.  You two started out as fated enemies, to acquaintances, to friends, and finally lovers.  

“I love you more,” Jongin said, with his forehead against yours. 



a/n:  Early update because my internet is so unable today o_o.  Doing it now before it dies!

Aww she finally gets the proposal she’s been waiting for her whole life <3 so romantic.

Tomorrow is the last chapter ~cries~ I can’t believe it.  Temporary Affairs couple has been through so much…do you think the ending will be happy or sad?

Any Tao bias out there?!!?!?!  I know ya’ll are still stuck on The Lucky One but I’m so stuck on Beautiful Distraction (even after I reread The Lucky One)!!  I can’t get my head over that story and you will know why after the first chapter.  It’s one of those fast paced stories where you just immediately jump into the shoe’s of the girl and every word, every thought becomes your own.  (I swear, as I was writing the first chapter I wasn’t even thinking.  I was typing so, so fast that words just started appearing and before I knew it I finished the first chapter.  This didn’t even happen for The Lucky One).  Anyway, enough spazzing about Beautiful Distraction, let’s give the spotlight back to TA2 for two more days, shall we.  :D Yoona meets Youngwoo next chapter.  Bwhahaha 

The Storm - Jaebum Angst & Fluff

Originally posted by sugaglos

OMG! I broke my own heart writing this. JB is my bias from GOT7. I hope you enjoy. Also three things, first grabbed some napkins because you might be teary or bawling from this story. Secondly, I listened to their new song 'If you do' and ‘Baby don’t cry’ by EXO-M, so I am like a mess of sadness and tears. Thirdly, I am not going to continue A Forgotten Memory series because I feel like it is all tied up as well as the Saranghae scenario.

- Admin Talia

You twirled in the rolling chair making circles. Laughter filling the room. Your playful banter was getting JB upset even more. He has been stuck on this song for a while now. He invited you to help him, but was regretting it. You tried to help, yet he always blew off your suggestions. Being silly and goofing around kept you from feeling like a burden to him.

“Y/N! I am trying to work!” He yelled his voice echoing in the studio. You flinched, hurt filling you as you look down ashamed. You stop your movement and took interest of the gray title beneath your feet.

“I an sorry oppa. Do you want me to go get food?” You asked quietly shifting to stand up.

“Why don’t you do that.” He replied sarcastically his eyes locked onto the screen of the computer monitor. You bit back a tort for it could cause an unnecessary argument.

Gathering your things you went to open the door. “I am leaving, I will be back.”

“Finally!” He mutter under his breath loud enough for you to here. This angered you as you slam the door shut, leaving.

Walking to a nearby sandwich shop by JYP. Usually you went somewhere else, but this was JB favorite and you wanted to make it up to him. It started raining harshly as you were then drenched. Slipping inside the small shop you notice there was only a elderly woman. Glancing outside to see small light objects being pulled by the wind. Upon hearing the crackle of the TV you turn your attention to it.

The news report already was over, everyone had to stay in doors for about five hours until it was over. The reporter said it was to be a very bad monsoon. Frowning you remember this morning, when they said it was to be sunny and no clouds. You were mostly worried about JB, hoping he was okay. You went thru your bag searching for your phone. Then you remembered that you left it charging with JB.

Asking the older woman for a phone, she replied that all she had was a landline. Leading you towards it the power suddenly cut off. Wind knocking against the glass as the building rattled. Fear struck you like lighting, you hated thunderstorms ever since you were little. The elderly looked at you sympathetically, she had given you a towel to dry off as well as a blanket. Trying to calm the nervousness in the room, you shared a small conversation.

“Are you married?” Asked the woman as she played with what you assumed is her wedding ring.

“No, but I do have someone I care deeply for.” You breathed out cold as you shivered. You quickly placed the blanket over the woman as harsh coughing racked her frail body.

“What is your name?” You asked rubbing her shoulders.


JB waited for you to return. Another 30 minutes gone by as his worry grew gradually.  He knew you were upset, but you usually were very understanding. He even tried calling you when he realized you had left your phone with him in the studio. Gathering his things he went to leave, but was blocked by a rather enormous crowd.

“Jackson! Mark!” JB yelled over the loud angered voices. He caught the attention of his band mates.

“JB, they said it is a monsoon. A pretty bad one.” Jackson huffed out as he arrive to JB, with Mark.

“Where is Y/N?” Mark asked curiously searching for your petite body. The look of worry on JB’s face answered his question.

“I sure she is fine. She is a strong girl.” Jackson reassured him placing his hand on JB shoulder as comfort.

Yeah, but why did she leave?“ Mark asked to no one in particular. He saw JB wince his face down casted as if someone shredded his heart.

"She went to get food.” it was the truth he just didn’t go into detail. Taking his chances he left his things with his friends and made a mad dash outside to his car.  Slamming the car shut he wiped the rain from his face and started up the car to being his pursuit for you.

Your scream echo thru the small shop as a flash of lighting struck the front of the shop. This cause the sign in front to fall blocking the entrance. Anna tried to detract your attention away from the storm.

“Tell me more about this boy.” Anna asked before another patch of rough cough’s emitted from her chest.

“Well he is a hard worker and a leader. Sometimes it seem like he is cold or tough, but a total softie in private.” You smiled recalling all the times you and JB were together. Anna looked at you as you excitedly told her all of your stories. After chatting for a while you came to find out that Anna was sick with lung cancer and was expected to die soon.

“You are married aren’t you?” You asked curiously trying to find light in this dark situation.

“Yes and I have three children.” Now it was your turn to listen to her stories with a smile. You could see her eyes lit up with such pride and enjoy of having a family. You wish that JB was here with you as regret occupy your chest with a horrible ache.

“We’ll make it out I promise.” You tried to ease her worry’s away. Settling on your makeshift bed of blankets you both fell asleep.

JB searched everywhere for you he knew you wouldn’t be far. Especially if you had to walk a lot you were quite lazy. He stopped by each of your favorite restaurants with in a good distance from JYP.  He had a strange urge to stop by the sandwich shop that was close by. He got out of the car being careful not to be dragged by the forceful wind. He peeked around the fallen sign to you laying on the floor with an older woman. His heart jumped to his throat assuming the worst and panicked.

He whipped out his phone and punched in the number calling for an ambulance, police, and fire station.  He notice how the wind slowed a bit, but was thundering and raining heavily. He started to bang on the glass calling out to you. As all the emergency vehicles arrived.

You were instantly awoken by numerous shouting and movement. Furrowing your eyebrows you shifted softly to sit up. Then you heard the loudest of voice yell your named. Whipping you head around almost breaking you neck your eyes locked onto a desperate emotional JB.

Looking around you spotted Anna behind you unmoving. You quickly shook her to wake up. With no response you grew scared, shaking her more. Checking for a pulse your blood froze over cold, tears poured down your cheeks as you choke back a sob. You watched her face that held a graceful smile holding onto her wedding ring. You couldn’t hold it in any longer and let out a heart wrenching wail of distress. You only knew her for a little while, but she was a sweet, caring lady.

The door at the entrance was flung open as JB dashed to you. He held you tightly as you cried, you fought against him as he dragged you away from the heartbreaking scene to let the medics help. His hold on you was so great you feared JB was unstable as silent tears fell into you hair his face buried in it. You both were a mess, but clung onto each other like a lifeline. Standing up you had to grasp JB for support as you knees shook and wobbled. You made way to his car, but stopped when you saw an older man crying as he held onto Anna hand. Running over to him you softly explain what happened, then gave him a hug to return back to JB.

Pulling into the driveway of your apartment, you both treaded inside with no words exchanged. Going upstairs you turn on the shower waiting for it to run warm. Returning to the bedroom you saw JB sitting on the edge his face tilted down as he breathe ruggedly. Walking up to him you stood between his legs and started to undress him to get him in the shower. Once done you lead him into the steaming bathroom, before you could leave he stopped you. He slowly took off your clothing, letting his finger tips linger as he examined you, to him it was like worshipping a beautiful goddess. Pulling you into the shower you both help clean each, until the water turned cold.

Shutting of the faucet he stepped out to dry himself, then proceed to lift you up in a towel and carried you to bed. He gently placed on the bed getting rid of the towel you both slipped under the thick warm duvet. He circled you waist and dragged you up to his chest. He enjoyed your bare skin against his as warmth radiated off of you. Interlocking fingers you both drifted off to sleep.

You’re An Idiot

imagine him coming back to you after the break up with you because he sees that he can’t breathe without you.

this wasn’t a request but i was feeling my chronic depression coming along with my anxiety and i just needed to vent. sorry if i’m a little rusty, not on my game today. send me requests before sunday ends (june 5th u.s. e.s.t.)

pairing: avenger x reader (this was written with bucky in mind, but i dont think i ever mention his name so i guess it could be anyone)

word count: 1999 (omg)

warnings: none; but of once, there’s only one curse word i think. a first.

There are still traces of him, like little trails that lead me back to brightly lit memories of us. Sometimes I find his socks in the bottom of a drawer, a flannel in the back of my closet, his razors in my bathroom cabinet, or his pictures on my phone. I thought I’d gotten rid of any evidence that would show that we ever dated. And when it got really hard, like today, I thought I could pick up his scent on the sheets.

Biting my lips, I start making some tea. I should be having dinner, but I haven’t been able to put any food inside of me. So, tea would have to do. I blankly listen to the kettle shriek, letting the sound swallow my empty body. It was during moments like these that thoughts of him came into my mind. What is he doing right now? Is he out with friends, or another girl? What is he wearing? Is he hurting like I am, or more? How is he getting rid of traces of me? Does he cry or curse at the thought of me? Is he okay?

I’m not out with my friends, and I haven’t been out with them in so long. I’m scared that we will bump into each other. I’m wearing his old band t-shirt. It still smells like him, even though I’ve washed it countless times. I’m hurting; I’m hurting so much that it’s numbed to a dull, echoing pain. I’ve gotten rid of as much of him as I could. Still I cry, curse, and die a little at the thought of him…I’m not okay.

Just when I was about to collapse with grief, my phone rings. I pull myself together and reach into my pocket. Wanda. I pick up, faking a casual attitude.

“Hey Wanda! What’s up?” I chirp cheerfully—Maybe too cheerfully, because she becomes suspicious. 

“(Y/n), are you okay?” she asks slowly.

I nod vigorously as I answer, “Of course, I am.”

Silence. Then she says, “Well, I just wanted to see if you want to come out with me and Nat. We’re going to the bar that you like.” I can hear her desperation. She knows that I’ve broken up with him and that I’ve been having a hard time adjusting. But I can’t go out today. It’s just extra hard today.

“No, I’m busy…helping my mom with something.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” she says with a disappointed sigh. “Maybe next time?”

I walk to the stove and turn off the burner. “Yeah, next time,” I reply absentmindedly. “Have fun, okay? I’ll talk to you soon.” Not even hearing her goodbye, I end the call. Pouring myself some green tea, I sit down on the leather armchair in front of the window. The pitter-patter of the rain against the window sill resonates in me. It rained on our first date, so much so that he had to use his jacket as an umbrella for me. He didn’t want me getting wet. I take a long sip, and burn my tongue.

“Shit,” I spit. I spill some on my shirt, his shirt. A memory stirs: I spilled my food on him on the third date. Damn it. I hate thinking of him. I hate that everything, literally everything, reminds me of him. His stupid smile and his stupid eyes. What I hate most is how he’d gaze at me. With so much focus, and attention. Love and affection…like I was a piece of art.

I put the tea mug on the side table, and lift my legs up onto the seat. I wrap myself with a blanket, his favorite one, and bring my hands up to my face. And the cries invade. The sobs are too loud to cover, but I cover my mouth anyway. I don’t want anyone to hear me. I don’t want to hear it myself, because if I do hear it, it’ll mean that I still love him. After all that anger and effort to forget him, I can’t be blubbering over his dumb ass. But I am, I’m crying for him and I’m crying because of him. The sounds spill out of me like some waterfall. The tears run down my face, racing each other. And the sky cries for me too.

My throat is sore and burning, because of my attempts at choking and swallowing the howls. My eyes are swollen and red after bawling for an hour. My body hurts, aches for him. Should I call him? Should I let him know what he’s done to me? Should I let him know that I’m broken? No. I have to have some pride. But I don’t.

So I walk up to get my phone. I read his phone number to myself. I still have it memorized: another thing that I couldn’t get rid of. I dial the number, but my finger hovers above the scary, green button. I hold my breath, speculating and waiting to see what I do. But before I have a chance to do anything, the door bell rings. Once, and once more. I walk quietly towards the door. No one usually sees me at this hour, considering it’s also a Friday night. So who could it be? I hesitate. It could be him. If it’s him, what would I do? The person knocks on my door, three simple knocks.

“(Y/n)? Are you home?” asks the familiar voice. My ears welcome his vibrations, and I’m tempted to fling open the door. “I have to talk to you.” I almost cry at his words. Not because it’s what I want to hear him say, but because I missed his voice. I missed him talking to me.

I toss aside my blanket, and walk towards the door. He must’ve heard me because he stops pacing. He’s waiting. He’s holding his breath. So am I.

I place my fingers on the door knob and twist it gingerly. The door squeaks open, but I’m not looking at him. I’m looking down at his feet. He’s wearing his sneakers I bought him. A gasp almost escapes my mouth. I can’t believe he still has them. With the door now wide open, our bodies are in front of each other for the first time in four months. I can’t tell if that’s a long or short time. But it’s felt like an eon. I muster up the courage to look at his face. He still has his unkempt hair, his stubble, and the same mesmerizing eyes that I could drown in.

“It’s been a long time,” I say quietly, looking directly into his eyes. I don’t falter; I’ve got too much pride to show weakness.

“Yeah, it has.” That’s all he says. I didn’t expect him to say more.

“Come in,” I step aside to let him walk in. I take a seat in the armchair in front of the window, and he sits on the couch. We’re as far away from each other as possible. But, I crave his touch. Now that he’s in front of me, I want to feel his skin on mine, now more than ever. But all I feel is the tense silence.

Again, I’m the one to initiate. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

As if shaken from his thoughts, he looks up at me with surprised eyes. “Right.” He rubs his face with his hand, and says, “I know I was the one who suggested that we take a break–”

“You mean ‘break up’, not ‘take a break’,” I interrupt coldly.

“I was the one who suggested that we break up,” he corrects, looking at me carefully before he continues. But I only stare out the window. “There’s no other way to say this, but…” I glare at him, as if daring him to continue. “I missed you.”

I don’t react. My exterior is frozen and unfeeling. But inside, I’m weeping—weeping with joy and sadness. He had missed me; he was just as lost without me as I was without him. I can feel my tall wall of pride crumbling at his words.

“I can’t live without you. I thought I could, and I thought I was doing both of us a favor, but I was wrong. The moment I wake up, I think about you. I expect you to be sleeping next to me. All I can see is your peaceful face, your beautiful face next to me. And whenever I get a call, I hope that it’s you. I want it to be your voice at the other end of the call. Every time I eat, I wonder if you’re eating too and I worry that you’re not eating enough. When I’m broken and crying, I hope that you’re not crying. I don’t want you to cry over me, because of me. I’m not worth crying over. I pray every single fucking night that you’re not crying yourself to sleep, or hurting yourself because of what I said to you that night. I regret everything I did and said that night. But I did it because I thought…I thought you’d be better off without me, I’m not good enough to have someone like you. I’m really not. After all the things I’ve done, I don’t want someone so good like you to be anywhere near me. But I can’t do it. You’re my life line, (Y/n). I can’t function without you.” He ends with a sigh and looks at me, hoping for a reaction, anything.

I swallow my sob, but I can’t hold back the tears. One by one, they drip down the cheeks and down to my chin. And I let them. I’ve been holding them in too long. I bite the inside of my cheek and get up on my feet. I sit down next to him on the couch and run my hand through his hair. It’s still just as soft as I remember. I search his face, not knowing where to look, but his eyes anchor me. They steady my nervous and scared breathing.

“You’re an idiot,” I say with a weak laugh, putting my hand on his cheek.

He smiles at my response, and nods gently. “I know,” he replies. “That’s why I let you go in the first place.”

I shake my head in disbelief. I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him close. He pulls me in closer, and places his head in the crook of my neck.

“I missed you, you dumb ass,” I say unevenly.

“I missed you too.”

I pull apart from him for a second to look into his blue eyes. We don’t say anything, we just enjoy the fact that we are here together. Back in his embrace, I breathe in deeply, taking in his comforting smell. I feel his warmth, the sound of his breath, and his love.

“You’re wearing my shirt,” he comments.

I roll my eyes. “Just shut up and kiss me,” I say with grin. And he does. His lips linger above mine, as if asking permission to continue. But I’m impatient, and I crash mine onto his, craving his touch. It’s just like before. Our lips fall into place, knowing every curve and concave, rediscovering every inch of our skin. At first, he pecks my lips, each peck growing longer and more passionate. Then he travels to my neck, placing a kiss on the spots that he knows I like. Everything comes so easily, like it had, like it should.

He pulls away to take a breath. He looks at me lovingly, my hair disheveled and my cheeks red and my lips plump. Breathless, he runs his hands down my back, giving me shivers. He kisses my forehead, temple, and nose.

“I love you,” he whispers. “So much.”

I scoff, “I know, you idiot.” I lick my lips and just hold him tight and match my breathing with his. “Me too.”

tags: @sinnamon-barnes [message/ask me if you’d like to be tagged also :P]

model envy | c.h. | 2

model envy || part 2 

part 1 : here 



requested : yes

“ can you write part two to model envy? i loved the first one “- @chanyeolsabby

“  Part 2 of model envy?🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 “ -anon

“  OMG can you please make a part 2 to model envy. Oml oml oml thanks hun 💕💕 “ -anon

 “  Part 2!! “ -anon


trigger warning(s) - violence :/ don’t like it, don’t read it

words : 1,508 

pairing : v confusing, so like partially luke x reader ( best friend ) and cal x reader 


a/n : sorry this took so long, i recently got a job, also my sports team started practice, and i also have a summer reading assignment to complete, it’s all v v stressful, but i hope you enjoy this :)


I woke up in an all to familiar bed, I just couldn’t remember the name of the boys bed I was in. Looking around, a sharp pain soon interrupts my thoughts. The back of my head hurt like hell, I rubbed the pain away with my hand, continuing on scanning the room on what it is happened. I looked over to the bedside table, and saw a note, scribbled with messy handwriting.

“ Baby, when you wake up, I wanna say how terribly sorry I am. I accidentally knocked you out, and I cannot forgive myself. You’re currently at Luke’s house, I didn’t want to see you wake up, hurt and confused. Baby, know I love you, and we did make some mistakes, but I never did intend on hurting you. I’ll see you tomorrow, or the next day, depends on when you wake up and find this. Baby, I love you with all my heart, and I’m so sorry for what I’ve done.

xxx Cal ”

I tried to recall the incident, when I vaguely remember Calum and Nia, and then the memory came flooding back, on me grinding on Brendon to make him jealous, which worked, more than I wanted it to. I stood up, and immediately became unbalanced. I tried to steady myself, as I walked out of the room.

I walked down the steps, holding on to the rail that was attached to the wall. When I reached the bottom, Luke’s head snapped back as he felt my presence enter. He got up off the couch and walked over to me, and helped me stand up straight. “ You okay ” he asked, looking down at me with worry in his eye.

“ Yea, I think, my head just hurts like hell ” I explained. He nodded and soon came up with an idea. He grabbed ahold of my hand and guided me to the downstairs bathroom. He opened the medicine cabinet and handed me a bottle of Tylenol.

I graciously took it and swallowed the recommended dosage of two painkillers. I handed the bottle back, as he returned it to its original spot. He then led me to the living room, as he made me sit down, his figure settling next to me.

We just sat there, an awkward silence filling the room. “ Y/n, come here ” he said, as he patted a small amount of space next to him. I got up next to him, and put my head in the crook of his neck. Luke and I had best friends since we were teenagers, and he was the one who introduced me to Calum, so this all felt natural to me. My headache became less and excruciating after each minute passed. His hand soon found its way around my waist and started rubbing my arm.

My eyes started to become heavier and heavier, as soon they closed completely and I drifted off into a small rest.

“ What the actual fuck mate ” I heard a voice yell, waking me up from a relaxing nap. My eyes opened slowly, to feel Luke’s absence, and to see him standing in front of me, his hands put up in defense.

On the other side of him was a fuming Calum, fists clenched beside him, ready to take a swing at any moment.

“ Dude, I swear it’s not what it looks like ” Luke says, defending his actions, but Calum did not take that as an excuse. He grabbed Luke by the shirt and pushed him into the nearest wall. I sprung up and tried to pry him off of Luke, but it was no use. He just pushed me aside, and started swinging.

I watched in horror as Calum’s fist collided with Luke’s delicate face, him flinching, taking what Calum was giving him. I started bawling my eyes out, falling to my knees and hitting at Calum’s legs to stop what he was doing. He kept swinging, until he heard me screaming for him to stop.

He let go of Luke’s shirt, as he fell to the wooden floorboards, much like I did the night before, completely knocked out.

“ Calum! What the actual fuck is wrong with you ” I screamed getting up and pushing him out of the way to tend to Luke.

“ Are you fucking serious Y/n ” he challenged me, getting awfully close to me. I got down on my knees and tried to wake Luke, even though it was no use.

“ Calum, get away from me, you’re dangerous ” I said, tears brimming my eyes, me being afraid of my own boyfriend. He just scoffed and left the room, walking into the kitchen. I returned my attention to Luke, picking him up with all my energy and setting him on the couch.

Calum had been sitting on a chair in Luke’s kitchen, drinking away at some mixture he made with Luke’s alcohol he had in his cabinet.

I watched from afar, as he would take a huge sip of his drink, and would immediately put his hands in his hands, saying to himself that he fucked up.

I walked in cautiously, not wanting him to notice me at first. My attempt failed as he turned at the slightest bit of movement behind me.

His eyes softened when he noticed it was me, but then I noticed his jaw clench. I made my way to sit across from him, him watching my every move.

“ Can we talk ” I said, even before I sat down.

He just took another sip, and nodded his head. His eyes became dark and his jawline was piercing through his skin. His muscles tensed under his tight-fitting shirt. I began my sentence with a shaky breath.

“ What the hell has gotten into you, first you grind on Nia at a party, knock me and another model out and beat the shit out of your best friend ” I said, my heart starting to race due to how scared I was of his awaiting response.

He took the words in, took another sip of his deadly concoction and began “ Hey, how about we don’t play the victim here, I saw you grinding up on that model, what the fuck do you think you were doing ” he questioned, raising his eyebrows and leaning forward.

I leaned back, and tried not to meet his all to deadly gaze. “ It was only because you were dancing on Nia ” I said.

“ Y/n, I can’t have fun with my friends ” he asked.

I just scoffed “ Best friends don’t fucking grind on each other Calum ” I said.

“ How about you fucking look at me when you talk to me ” he said. His angry side progressed more and more with each word.

I looked at his angry expression. “ Listen to me, we were having fun, all you had to do was come up to me and tell me you didn’t like what you were seeing ” he said.

“ Don’t you dare justify your actions Hood ” I said, my blood beginning to boil.

“ Don’t fucking call me that ” he spat his words at me.

We then became silent. “ Are you going to say anything ” he broke the awkward tension. I ignored him.

“ Fucking answer me ” he said, standing up and walking over to me.

My heart started to beat out of my chest, and soon became vulnerable under him.

“ If you wanted to start this fight you’re going to fucking finish it ” he said, and then all of a sudden his hand came down, and I soon put my hand over my head in defense and let out a sob that was building up throughout this whole argument.

His hand connected with the wall next to me, and my heart sank into the bottom of my stomach.

I looked up, to see Calum’s blank expression staring back at me. He removed his had from beside me, and put it behind him. “ Did- did you think I was going to hit you ” he asked, his eyes softening into a worried look.

No words would leave my mouth, so I just nodded. He then went to reach for my shoulders but I flinched under his contact. He removed his hand and paced back and forth.

“ Oh my god, I can’t believe I just did that ” he said, his pacing becoming faster and faster. “ You’re so fucking scared of me and it’s all my fault, it’s all because of me ” he said, his hands tangling in his hair. I stood up to comfort him.

I walked over and stopped him in his tracks. I put my hands on his wrist, but he detached them.

“ Y/n, get away from me, I’m t o x i c ” he said, and he moved me aside and bolted out the door, slamming it shut on the way out.

My heart shed into pieces, and my back was pressed against the wall, I lost balance, my chest heaved as sobs escaped my lips. My hand came up and covered my loud cries, as I slid down the wall, the walls crashing down around me.

part 3?

Okay wow I can’t believe I’m actually about to type up my experience of meeting TAYLOR SWIFT.

Monday night, October 20, I got a DM from Taylor Nation and started bawling my eyes out cause I knew what was happening. I sent them my info and they called me the next day. From the time I got off the phone with them til like 9pm that night, I was freaking out trying to pull money together to get a plane ticket and hotel. My mom and I thought of every scenario we could, even couch surfing and taking a bus, but I decided to call up Maria and just ask if I could stay with her considering she lives an hour away from Manhattan. My mom was worried because I was supposed to keep it a secret but I’ve known Maria for a while now so I thought I’d ask. Well I texted her and she immediately knew why I was asking, even though I didn’t say 100% what was going on. To be honest, they didn’t tell me much at all.  Maria’s parents said it was okay, so I figured out some money and booked my flight the next day.

So I left Sunday morning to go to New Jersey. Maria and her parents picked me up at the airport and we spent Sunday in the city! We went to Times Square, made 1989 themed m&ms at the m&m store (gotta get that promo) and found the wings Taylor took a picture at in the summer time. We went to diner at a yummy pizza place and her dad told me all about the different areas of the city. It was really great. I was in awe of everything. We also went to the swift parade thing in central park! We got flyers and danced and passed them out to people. I got to meet Katie! Then while we were there, I’m not sure how it happened but we figured out that some girls from Canada were there for it too! And so we all started talking and followed each other on social media and stuff. I decided I would meet up with them the next day before the event since I couldn’t bring anyone.

I got to the city by bus around 12 the next day. I could hardly eat my muffin I got for breakfast but I met up with Naomi, Kailee, Guylaine and Megan at their hotel. We hung out for a bit and then met up with Katie and Kait to get lunch! Oh and Leighanne surprised us and showed up and went with us too. So we got lunch, I couldn’t eat, AGAIN, but I got a PowerAde cause I knew I needed like, electrolytes and stuff to be hydrated. So we get to iHeart Theater early and the people there have no idea what we’re talking about so we go to Starbucks next door. THIS IS WHEN I STARTED MEETING EVERYONE FROM TUMBLR. I WAS FREAKING OUT. First it was Cassie omg she’s adorable. Then Jordan and Josh and then Lettie and Jenna and Brittany and omg everyone just started showing up it was great. And so we move outside to just hang out and they FINALLY start lining us up. So we get our stuff checked in and go through security then we all get into the little theater and there were cookies and diet coke and cupcakes and water and once again, took 3 bites of my cookie and was like CANT EAT THIS. So the lady comes up there and was like, PSYCH, we’re moving you. Come on. So we get up and follow her. We walked so far and there were so many people thinking we were going to Taylor’s apartment.

Then I freaking TRIP AND FALL. Oh my god it was hysterical. I was linked arms with Cassie and Jenna and if they hadn’t have been right there I would have face planted it was so funny. So we get to this other building and waited in line for forever and were all so confused. So we go through security again and then go up the elevator 17 floors (my lucky number) and go out on to the roof to see this stage and everything was so beautiful. The sun was just starting to set and my little group ran up to the left side of the stage and we were front row. I was on the very very end. So we wait around for a while and Scott comes out and he’s passing out the 1989 guitar picks and so then after a while a guy comes over and semi-explains what’s going on. He’s like, “you know this is a small crowd of hand-selected people. This isn’t usually how this works. Taylor plays to sold out arenas so you’ve gotta be loud.” Then a few more minutes passes and they explain that she’s gonna walk down the center and then they can fill in behind her. And then her band comes out and we’re freaking out cause I’m literally front row. I waved to Paul and Amos. They had 1989 playing over the speakers and we all were singing. Then we started chanting “Taylor! Taylor!” And then they gave us this count down and we were supposed to cheer and scream! And then it was the live stream of her performance! She came out and walked through the crowd then got on stage and sang so amazingly. She smiled and made eyes contact while singing with me like 4 times and it was amazing. I was having the time of my life. After the first song, she asked the sound people if it was okay, and they said it was good. Then after she signed off she was like “hold on I have people talking to me through these in-ears.” And then she’s like “oh… I need to redo that…. Do I need to say Yahoo?” And we’re all just looking at her in awe cause she’s just standing there so perfect. So then she redoes the outro thing and then she looks at us and was like “Thank you guys so much for coming tonight. You guys are amazing. Did you have fun? Okay well I’m gonna go change I’ll see you guys in a bit” And then Jenna, Cassie, Lettie and Lettie’s sister Anne and I started freaking out cause we thought this was it.

So we line up again and go downstairs to floor 14 and there’s this big open space with contemporary seating and plants and its just all really modern looking. There was pizza and diet coke and water again. So I got a slice of pizza and only ate a bit of it. And I had water. So we’re all just mingling and talking for a bit and then Cassie and Jenna are just SILENT. Like they’re in a daze and I’m like OH SHIT IT JUST HIT ME TAYLOR IS ABOUT TO WALK IN AND OH MY GOD.

So a little bit after that one of the big screens turns on and it’s about to come on the TV and we’re all excited and then Taylor walks in so some people move over towards her to hug her and stuff. Scott was hanging out with us watching the TV and then she comes up to Caylee with a present and starts singing Happy Birthday and we all join in. And then she starts meeting people. She talked to everyone for a long time. It was so great.

While she was talking to Jenna, Lettie and I were off to the side and we were telling Jenna all day she needs to tell Taylor she’s the girl who Taylor only notices when she’s cussing up a storm. So she did and Taylor was like OH MY GOD YES and gave her a big hug and Jenna kept looking over at us and so Taylor finally did and Taylor was like “HEY BUDDY!”  to me and gave Lettie and I thumbs up then she goes “I notice people from Tumblr when they post a lot of selfies, but she hardly posts any!” and Lettie and I were like “I know! She should post more!” and she’s like “I only know her by her posts” or something like that and Lettie and I were like “she’s a good girl, promise!” cause she’s always just cussing like crazy and Taylor was like “Oh no, I LOVE IT are you kidding!?” or something like that omg anyways.

So we watched Cassie meet her too and omg poor Cassie was so excited she couldn’t stop crying. So she gave Cassie the longest hug and oh my god she was so sweet.

 I heard this little snippet from Taylor’s conversations with someone else and idk why I remember it but I couldn’t stop laughing.

“Oh my god…. You can’t tell me how to cut a tomato!”

I went over to talk to Andrea and I gave her a big hug and told her I’m so happy to be here. I was like “I’m sure you get this all the time, but I gave you a red scrapbook on the last night of the tour last year in Nashville. Did Taylor get it?” And she was like “I’m going to say yes, but only because I know that the answer isn’t no. Taylor never gets rid of anything fans make her, especially scrapbooks. She has a few in each house, a few on the tour bus, you know? It’s great to look at when she’s having a bad day. She can just flip through the pages and realize everything’s going to be fine.”

Then she asked me how many shows I’ve been to and I told her “I saw her open for Rascal Flatts!” and her mouth dropped and she was like “That was so long ago!” and I was like “I know! And then I’ve seen every headlining tour” And she asked what city and I told her and she goes “And you’ve never met Taylor before?” and I go “No.” and she just looked so surprised and was like “I am so glad you’re here then.” And gave me another huge hug.

So then we went over to a group of people talking to Tree and she someone was like “Since you came along, Taylor’s been more involved with us, so thank you!” or something like that and Tree was like “Oh it’s all her!” and looked over at her and smiled and then we went to go wait by Taylor again.

While she was talking to Lettie she was being so cute and was like “we had parents talk to us on the phone and be like **strong hick accent** ‘ um yeah is my daughter gonna be sold into sex trafficking or something like what is going on’ or something like that omg I was laughing so hard. And was talking to Anne about how she has two middle names and how that must be funny when she gets in trouble and impersonated a parent. I don’t remember all the names she said but she was like “Anne Sarah Catherine Margret Josephine! GO TO YOUR ROOM!” it was so cute oh my god I’m smiling so big just remembering it.




So then it was my turn and she goes “Hey BUDDY!” and like engulfed me in a huge hug and she was like “thank you so much for coming!” and I go “Thank you for inviting me, this is amazing! I’ve waited so long for this” and she was like “Oh trust, me, I know you have!” And she was holding on to my hands and then her eyes got wide and she looked all serious at me and she was like “You seriously look so beautiful tonight” and I go “Oh my god?! YOU look beautiful!” and WE DID THAT BACK AND FORTH A FEW TIMES AND WE WERE LIKE GIGGLING AND THEN she was like “OH MY GOD THANKS FOR SAYING THAT!” AND I go, “hey I actually have a question for you.” And she was like “Sure what is it?!” So I told her I play guitar, ukulele and piano because of her and write my own music. She was like “Oh my god! That’s amazing!” and then I asked her some questions about songwriting. I was like “Even when I’m most inspired or feel really creative, I have trouble coming up with what I want to say and how to switch it up from other stuff I’ve written. Do you have any advice for that?“ and she was like “Wow that’s a good question!!” And she just thought for a minute. And I’m not gonna say exactly what she said because she said a lot and stuff and idk I kind of want to keep that part just for me. But she did say that I need to tune my guitar differently and put my voice memos on record and just play around. She wrote “I Almost Do” and a few others with this specific tuning style and I’m so excited to try it out when I get home.  I just remember she smelled SO GOOD I WISH I HAD ASKED WHAT PERFUME SHE WAS WEARING. And her makeup looked amazing and she just talked to me like I was her best friend. It was amazing.


Then I was like “have you seen the picture of us from the Speak Now tour going around on Tumblr? Where you’re holding my hand?” and she’s nodding her head the whole time I’m talking and she’s like “I totally do. You can’t see my face though. OH MY GOD WE SHOULD RECREATE THAT FOR OUR PICTURE.”  I was actually going to open up the fridge behind the bar and “dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light” with her (which Megan actually ended up doing which is crazy!) but when Taylor suggests a pose, you don’t turn it down. Especially since she wanted to RECREATE our candid together.


So then she like moves me and repositions me how she wants and then she’s like “I can hold you hand like this and then hug you, so you can see both of our faces!” And I’m like “PERFECT!”

So we pose and then she gave me a tight squeeze and was like “I’m not letting go” And we just laughed and I gave her the biggest hug and I was like “This was the best night of my life. Thank you.” And she was like “I’m so glad you were able to make it. I know you traveled far” And I go “Yeah from Oklahoma!” And she was like “wow.” And then I go “Oh I’m Emily by the way”, and like grabbed her hand and she was like “You don’t think I know your name?! I know that! Duh! I know everything!” all sassy and I died. Oh my god. She was just so amazing. I think I talked to her for about 4 minutes or so. It was all so fast in my head but realizing how much we talked about it had to have been longer than what it seemed.

Then I left and got my keychain and my bag of stuff. When I got to the elevator I realized I forgot my coat so I went back in and got my coat and she like smiled at me again. What a cutie.

I got back to Maria’s at almost midnight and I can’t even tell you how I’m feeling. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve been completely emotionless because I’m still in shock. The entire thing feels like a dream. The fact that Taylor chose me to come and celebrate her album release with her is just insane. It’s unreal. I can’t believe it happened to me. I can’t believe I finally met my favorite person in the world. And I can’t believe I have to go back to real life now. Yesterday was the best day of my entire life. I got to meet friends I’ve known for years, meet new people who I’m now so close with and experiencing all of this with them was incredible. There aren’t enough adjectives in the English language to express how thankful I am and how amazing last night was.

Thank you, Taylor. For everything. Not just yesterday, but the past 8 years. You’ve been by my side for so long and I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. Finally getting to meet you and the things we talked about, I will never forget. I’ll never forget the look on your face. I had the time of my life. I’ll love you, forevermore Taylor!


Okay so my sisters and I got to Soldier Field around 1 and we just walked around and stuff and someone said Tay was having a soundcheck at 2 so we waited above the loading dock where her tour buses are to hopefully see her walk out. Then we saw a black car with tinted windows pull into the stadium (like the part under the stadium so they were no longer visible) so we were like oh that’s probably her so then we just went and walked around again for awhile because we figured she was already inside. Then we saw this girl we had met earlier in the grass by the loading dock and she had come to the concert alone so we went to talk to her. Then after awhile the security was like you guys need to move back because we have an important person coming in soon. And we already thought Taylor was in so we were like oh maybe an opening act or something. But we all smiled and some people waved and I took a video of the cars pulling in just incase something happened since they were important. Then after the car was in the stadium the guy was like hey did you guys see her? That was Taylor and we all freaked out and then we were like oh let’s go to the radio station booths since Taylor was already inside for sure now. So we walked away (which is when we saw Vance Joy and got a pic with him)

Little did we know that Taylor saw us when they were going in the gates and told momma swift she wanted us (TAYLOR HERSELF REQUESTED US IM STILL NOT ALIVE FROM THIS) then Andrea got the loft stuff ready right then Bc she normally doesn’t give it out that early so she didn’t have it ready and came out the gates by the tour bus to look for us but we had already walked away!! LIKE SHE CAME OUT AT 3 OUTSIDE THE STADIUM TO FIND US BUT WE WERENT THERE

So then we like did all the fun radio stuff and waited in line by the gate by Taylor nation and everything and then inside the stadium ANDREA WAS TRYING TO FIND US and she was talking with two other Taylor nation people and she was like guys idk if this is gonna work like idk how we’re gonna find them and stuff bc like she’s famous and if people spot her she’s screwed ya know but then as soon as she said that she saw us walking so she ran after us and was like burnt toast burnt toast and then was like we’ve been searching the whole stadium for you guys.

And okay I was about to go up the stairs when I realized my sisters weren’t following me so I went back down and they were talking to three people and I was like wait I’m standing next to Andrea then I was like WAIT and then I realized what was going on then she was like “now normally we don’t do this but have any of you met Taylor before” and I knew what line comes after that so I started bawling and saying no and she was like you guys promise? You wouldn’t lie to this momma would you? And we were all saying no and then I honestly don’t even know what she said or anything but I was just hugging her and bawling my eyes out and Andrea tried to put a wristband on me but literally couldn’t bc I was like Hugging her so hard and crying and then someone else did idk who but then when I stopped hugging her I opened my eyes and we were surrounded by people asking her for pics and idk where my sisters were so I moved out of the way and literally bawled so hard and then I found my sisters and sat on the ground by them and bawled and they were like calm down your okay and I was like no I’m not okay I’m meeting Taylor like I don’t think you guys know what this means to me

So then the whole show we were like going crazy and dancing crazy and having fun and OMG Taylor is so amazing and I WANTED TO CRY so badly bc her show is so perfect but I had already cried out all my tears earlier!

So after the show we went to the section and security made sure it was only loft ‘89 people and then a girl from Taylor nation came and told us all the rules and stuff while we sat in seats and then we went to the loft and ate pizza and took pictures and stuff and waited and then we all had to put our phones away and then taylor came in and everyone cheered and she was like hey guys I’m not on vocal rest anymore and then we were all excited and then she started going to the first group and going around the room

And then her mom went the opposite way around the room so like andrea talked to a couple girls before us for like ten seconds but she was so excited to come see us so she came and hugged two of my sisters and was talking about how excited she was we were in there and everything because she loved our costumes and then she went back to the girls she had kind of skipped over and then she got pics with them and stuff and then came back to talk to us and she was like yeah we saw you when we came in and Taylor was like we have to get them (don’t quote me on what people are saying because these aren’t direct quotes but yeah) so yeah then she got the things ready and looked for us and stuff and yeah. Then she (Andrea) said she was so nervous they would take our costumes at the entrance and then she wouldn’t be able to find us at all but yeah she basically told us a lot about how much she loves our costumes so much and everything then we had her sign or stuff and got a pic with her (we weren’t supposed to have phones out unless it was for the Taylor nation person to take our pic with Tay but Andrea was like I’m the mom you guys can have phones out) so yeah

So anyways Tay had like three or four other groups before us and she’s literally so attentive to who she is with. Like she’s so focused on them and doesn’t get distracted or anything which is so rare and important. Anyway so the first thing she said was something like oh my gosh I saw you guys earlier and then she hugged all of us (and I awkwardly hung on longer than her but I mean whatever) and then she told us a bunch of times how much she loves our costumes and how creative and over the top and next level they were and she was like they look like you even spray painted them too they’re so textured! (Which is how we know she is a true crafter and she isn’t lying about the Michael’s emails bc only a true crafter would know) and she was like some of my band members were coming up to me asking like what’s burnt toast Sunday about and I’m like do you guys not care about me? Like you don’t even know my lyrics? I can tell who takes a break during my acoustic sessions and she was like so cute and funny about it and then for our pic she was like do we want a burnt toast pic and we were all like idk bc we have awesome shirts too and then my sister showed her and she was like oh yeah let’s go with the shirts (also anything she said was not in a calm tone like she was excited about everything) (basically TAYLOR SWIFT HAS NO CHILL) anyway so she helped me take my costume off (DEADDEADDEAD) and then we all posed for the pic and I didn’t know if we were doing a silly pic or what so I just smiled so I would look good. Anyway so then she was signing our stuff and she asked if we were all best friends and we were like no were sisters and she was like oh so built in best friends and she asked my sisters their names and signed there stuff and everything and she asked my sister in law about her ring and we were like ohh yeah she just married our brother and stuff and then I had my tour book and I asked her to rewrite the part at the bottom of the page and she was like but it’s right there(this was not in a rude way or anything at all it was like a cute Taylor swift way) and I was like yeah but it’s not your writing like it is but it’s not and then I was like I mean you can write something else if you want and then she was like no I’ll write it for you! And then she did and signed her name and then she was like do you want me to write your name and I was like yeah so then she asked what my name was and I told her it was Madison and I spelled it for her. Then she was signing my sister Taylor’s shirt and she asked her name and she was like “Taylor, I don’t know if you know how to spell it or not” and Taylor swift was like ohh yeah I think there’s a silent N somewhere or something like that and then she wrote like I (*insert a heart*) Taylor, love, the other Taylor. Then she was like group hug and we all gave her a hug and then she went to the next group but as she was walking to them she was like your costumes are so impressive.

Long story short: Taylor is sooooo genuine and sweet and even better than you would expect (is that even possible?) like even just talking to her for like ten minutes I could feel how much she cared about not only my individual group but all of her fans as a whole. She is so precious and literally was excited about everything!! Honestly everything still doesn’t feel real to me and I can’t wait for when it does bc it’s going to be the second greatest day of my life probably.

Anyway if you see this Tay, I love you and I can’t thank you or your mom enough for that night.

halerogers  asked:

i keep thinking about singer!derek and drummer!stiles and it's your fault, elisa. i keep thinking about while they're in the middle of a concert, and derek turns around to smile at stiles, stiles who's super sweaty and maybe shirtless and showing off his tattoos and a hickey or two or more from the night before. and stiles just smiles back, winks at him. and maybe they kiss sometimes on stage as well, cause they're out and proud and super public about their love

IN ADDITION TO THAT i keep thinking about stiles twirling his drum stick with his long, obscene fingers during practice, and all the other band members are annoyed because they know that means derek isn’t listening. because derek is too busy watching (and lbr drooling) those fingers work. the same fingers that touched him the night before

in conclusion: you have ruined me with singer!derek and drummer!stiles and i need more

WAIT I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING ELSE. imagine derek singing while making breakfast or dinner or whatever and stiles comes into the kitchen and maybe joins him. but then derek stops because “you’re a terrible singer, stiles” and stiles is just so offended but it’s okay because he knows he can make derek laugh when he sings disney songs terribly and loudly

 In relation to THIS

Okay, Charlie you sent me THIS THIS AMAZINGNESS like two days ago, and I had time to think about it, obsess about, and SCREAM INTERNALLY ABOUT IT WHILE I IRONED  and now YOU PUT IN ME THE NEEEEEEEED TO READ A FIC LIKE THIS OR WRITE IT GODDAMN.


OKAY let’s go in order.

YES. STILES TOTALLY STRIPS OFF FROM HIS TEE AT SOME POINT CUZ he’s too hot from constantly having to move his whole body, cuz he totally DOES, I MEAN HE DRUMS WHIT HIS WHOLE BODY AND SOUL AND THAT’S What makes him so good ya know??? ALSO  he knows he has a hot bod and also TATTOOES, WHO DOESN’T LIKE SEEING THOSE WHOOOOO??? [no seriosuly I’m so weak when it comes to Stiles and tattoes oh my god]

ALSO it totally amuses him to no end how when he STRIPS OFF FROM THE TEE AND THROWS IT IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF WHERE DEREK IS STANDING (SO THAT DEREK LOOKS AT IT AND KNOWS THAT STILES IS CHEST NAKED) HIS boyfried does everything in his power to not look at the big screen in front of him where he knows their his drummer is shown but ofc failing miserably, cuz he looks at it like every two seconds. And he’d totally turn around and stare and maybe drool a little messing up the song, but it’s not like he can perform with his back to his audince, now can he?

AND YES WHEN FINALLY THE SONG ENDS HE TOTALLY GOES TO STILES AND KISSES THE HECK OUTTA HIM. leaving that asshole with his lips a little parted and looking dazed and meanwhile the fans are screaming and cheering.

CUZ THEY ARE OUT AND PROUD AND THE FANS POSSIBLY LOVE THEM EVEN MORE cuz helloooooo shipped them, called it since DAY 1.

And it’s beautiful because Stiles and Derek are one of the very first gay couples to come out while still on tour and with a contract with no that much difficulties cuz their Manager Steve? A TOTAL BADASS who’s happily married to his husband James.. [I leave it to you to catch that reference *boops your nose* this is it tho, the hint?? As in they are happy aND MARRIED SO MARRIED HERE MARRIED MAAAARRIED]


And Stiles and Derek being out and proud? Totally makes it for an entire movement, and slowly more people start taking their example and just come out, cuz fans Are not assholes, they love them for their music and for who they are and not for who they do the do with.

Moving to the second point.

THE FINGERS OF DOOOM. Well not really doom because.. eheheh Derek might have called god’s gift a couple of times while they were involved in really interesting tasks, AND Stiles totally twirls the sticks around when he’s thinking about something (most of the time he’s thinking of new beats, songs HE TOTALLY WRITES MUSIC TOO) and it’s almost a tic, something that he does automatically with his hands when his head is completely elsewhere. ANDD maybe the band during rehearsals is giving each other tips and correcting something that seems off or something and then DEREK SEEES STILES AND HE SORTS OF STOPS MIDPHRASE.


And it snaps Stiles from his thoughts and looks at his friend and then at Derek, with that adorable innocent, confused puppy look that he gets sometimes omg, AND THEN THE COCKY ASSHOLISH SMIRK MAKES ITS APPAREANCE AND DEREK WANTS TO MAUL HIS FACE LIKE RIGHT THERE RIGHT NOW AND THE OTHERS ARE LIKE



AND SHE LITERALLY MAKES HEART FILTHY EYES AT THEM AND SAYS “oH YES PLEASE” because she’s a really clever girl and she knows whATS UP and she’s totally all of us.

And I’m almost sure you’re gonna ask me if I don’t tell you now, so Imma tell you now.

The guys, knowing exactly what’s up from just taking a look at them both? Wanna know how they come to know? How it happens? Of course you wanna know how it happens. tsk [It’s currently midnight and I just saw that you went to sleep so Imma obv post tomorrow, just now that if I make poor sense is because my brain cells are dying.]

Stiles and Derek are the gross sweet couple that make heart eyes at every given occasion. LIKE EVERY TIME THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER YOU CAN JUST SEE THE LOVE OOZING FROM THEIR FUCKING PORES. goD THEY’RE SO GROSS UGH.

BUT. Obviously, they’re also THAT COUPLE. THE ONE THAT CANNOT GET THEIR HANDS OFF EACH OTHER, like if they’re near each other they neED TO TOUCH. CONSTANTLY.

And I told you, after they get together, since they’ve been lusting over each other for years, they do it like bunnies and the band member’s might have luckily unfortunately walked in on them.

(Erica often tried to sneak in, one memorable time after having heard aMaZZZZING sounds she even brought popcorns. Derek had blushed and ducked under the sheets, Stiles had laughed his head off and looked at her with an arm thrown across his face, and with a fond smile said, “You’re unique Erica Reyes”

“Oh,” She’d said thoughtfully munching down her popcorns, “I’m unique in a lot of things,” she agreed, “but trust me, not in wanting to see all that.” Erica had replied with a wink.) [ @shealwaysreads   ISOBEL YOU KNOW WHY I TAGGED YOU HERE *HIGH FIVES*]

So okay, that’s how the band came to know.

BUT I’m not done with the fingers. I mean Der when he stops midsentence that day is because he has a really clear flashback to the night before where those amazing filthy dreamy fingers where in his ass wet with spit and precum and driving him insane and ooooooooooookay you get me, [I told you I’m super sleepy if I start writing you porn rn who knows where we’ll end up to] so yes there’s some serious moaning and breath hitching memories playing in his brain and he jUST. So ofc the bands just knOWS and decides to be good and clever mates and walk away, to give them a moment.

Erica totally makes a dreamy sigh and is the last one to walk away. (She still has to meet Boyd)


You said DISNEY SONGSSS??????????????? Charlie. YES.

AND you know what song Stiles sings to him??? ‘A whole new world’ [cuz that’s my favourite even tho I know the Italian version and I listened to the English one and I’m just ??? I have to relearn all of them in English but I prefer the Italian ones sorry this is so weird lol]

STILES SINGS ALADDIN’S PART completely off tune as we said but Derek is just so fond and enamoured at this point that just looks at Stiles literally serenading him and he just goes along with it and sings Jasmine’s part and fhsgsjdygjrgeywirwhuifgw CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS???. THIS IS THE CUTEST AND FLUFFIEST THING EVER. THOSE BOYS SINGING DISNEY SONGS AT EACH OTHER???


And they’re just so grossly beautiful you know???

Anyway YES. Stiles and Derek couldn’t be happier, they’re literally on top of the world and everything is fantastic.




[Charlie I was totally trolling you, see? sadness free, all fluff for you, today. *plans the nest angsty thing that will totally make you bawl your eyes out and cackles* shh I love you]

immaquietrebel  asked:

May I please have a prompt about GOM + Kagami being fathers (too cute) and doing something you're like 100% not supposed to do with a child on accident? I.e places baby on kitchen countertop and leaves room

OMG. YAS. Since I am back, fully back, with a lot of energy and negative is thrown out. Let me do this perfectly.

I don’t even know if this will satisfy you— 

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[140919 Con Report] Arashi Blast in Hawaii Day 1

I accidentally clicked out of my other post and I was about to submit but now I have to rewrite and live through the feeling again lol But anyway… so the night of the first con, I write a mini report about what happened and I said I would write a longer one when I get home and, I’m home!

So I went to the concert with 9 people (overall 11, but two were only Friday and two were only Saturday).  It was matsujunkie (Abby), mel-chan91 (Melissa), stormyjewels (Lily), stormychu (Eurie), JuJu (Abby’s friend ^^), Gena (Eurie’s friend), Meghan (Eurie’s friend), DesTi (my friend/STORMY or atrandum from LJ), and then myself.

I’m going to skip to when we arrived at the con because I’m sure you don’t want to hear about how great the musubi café we went to was… oh wait, I just did lol jk jk jk but it was really great… and for ALL the songs, I was screaming so much!

So we picked up my friend DesTi and she helped directed us to the venue, which is actually quite easy. While we were driving we saw all these signs for Arashi and we even noticed part of the stage and while they were getting excited I was getting teary-eyed listening to the songs through the radio and we had to turn it off because we didn’t want an accident lol We finally got to the parking lot and the attendant was super nice and friendly! We saw a lot of fans going towards the marina and these cut-out boards and we decided to go too! But at that point we noticed that everyone was Japanese and they had chairs with them and badges. Mel was talking to Abby and told us that we shouldn’t even bother because we need wrist-bands to be able to enter so we turned around and did a walk of shame. Literally we were the only people going the opposite direction!

We finally get to the line and noticed that we were only like the second layer and we were right next to the goods section. This was about 1pm now. While we stayed in line, we met someone from San Francisco and she was really a sweet and fun person to talk to! By the time we walked in we had exchanged LINE and added her to our group chat because she would go the next day. During that time a guy and a translator from NHK was going around. They stopped by us and actually interviewed our group we think because JuJu was not Asian haha We were able to say we were from, why we liked Arashi, and what was their “charm” and how they helped us become friends and then we said a small message to them! Hopefully we get to see it haha Also, Abby drew the Hawaiian Arashi logo on my arm like a tattoo, it was so cute

At about 4:30pm, they were finally letting us! The line moved somewhat swiftly and VERY ORDERLY. The only thing was it was right by the porta-potties so it stunk a lot by that area. But once we were by the tickets we were fine. We got our tickets AND OUR CHAIRS! And I was so happy I was like “I GOT A CHAIR!” and waved it kinda in victory. The group next to us laughed at my enthusiasm and agreed. Then we got Leis with Arashi’s colors! Luckily some of our friends were able to save us seats right in the middle of D-5. They stage was right in front of us and so we would have a great view! Oh throughout the concert, there was this couple behind us and I’m not even sure if she was a fan or what? But I know that she had an orange bracelet on? But every time DesTi and I reacted to a song, which was EVERY SONG and we screamed they looked at us weird. Like just from the small parts that started and we knew we were like AHHHHHHH!

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