i bake bread


anonymous asked:

I like Mary. I think she's awesome. I don't see why she has to be evil.

Oh, boy, okay.

Listen you can like Mary all you want – I loved her too before the fucked up her entire story arc – but her entire arc was building up to be a villain, and a badass one that was going to go down with a fight. 

I’m REALLY not trying to be pedantic here, Nonny, but asks like this force me to pull out receipts, all of which I’m sure you’re not going to read, because who likes to be proved wrong, but I digress. I always end up sounding more harsh than I am when all I want to do is educate you on my perspective and what the narrative is teaching us.

THAT’S Why she’s a villain. When a character kills the title character of a show, they are coded as the bad guy unless they do a redemption arc that actually is a redemption.

Mary had NO redemption arc AT ALL. Even in S4, Mary is STILL manipulating and emotionally abusing Sherlock and John against each other with her fucking creepy-assed DVDs and her belittling of John in T6T. She still runs off to go do her little assassin things and still lied and manipulated everyone. And I know the argument is going to come up, but Mary’s gunshot was NOT a redemption. A redemption arc has the ex-villain doing a good deed and being genuinely sorry for their past actions. Not ONCE Mary has ever apologized for any of the shit she put everyone through. All of it was a plan, especially if she had creepy DVDs made FAIRLY RECENTLY (you can tell because of the hair style) to send out to people. Also:


That and Mary’s entire death scene was RIDICULOUS and completely contradicted EVERY rule that was established in this universe only 2 episodes prior on how characters die.

Nonny, Mary’s character arc is one I have been passionate about for many years, even before I was a Johnlocker, because her character was fascinating to me, and helped me understand the psychology and make sense of events that were happening in my life at the time. Right up until TAB, Mary was being coded as the next Moriarty. For some reason or another, Mofftiss decided to turn her into an “assassin with an heart of gold” and failed spectacularly.

If Mary truly was good, she WOULD HAVE TOLD JOHN FROM THE BEGINNING WHO SHE WAS, OR AT LEAST TOLD SHERLOCK SHE NEEDED HELP. HLV would have not played out as it did. Instead deciding that killing Sherlock was her only option so that she could continue to manipulate John, since she knew he was most malleable when he was grieving Sherlock.

You can read Mary’s character however you want, I could care less… well okay apparently I do because of this reply… But please, seriously consider that what became of her character really made no goddamned sense to the narrative arc the built for her and quite frankly really lazy writing. Just because she is a woman, doesn’t mean that she is nice and sweet and not abusive. Excusing her of her brand of emotional abuse and manipulation is really sexist.

People thought my mother was a nice person, too.

I got an apartment and quickly found out it was so cheap because the whole place was infested with eight foot tall velociraptors who would scratch “F R E S H B R E A D” into walls and eat you if you didn’t regularly give them offerings of home made bread. I felt this was a perfectly reasonable arrangement. I baked bread for everyone in the complex and it was pretty chill.


I baked cinnamon sugar roll breads.(๑╹ڡ╹๑)
I tried to make them like flowers**

今回は焼くときに 巻き目をびろびろ広げたら

Holy Hell I Can’t Bake Bread Recipe

I come from a long line of bakers and home cooks who would probably be very, very disappointed in the amount of bread I have burned, undercooked, dropped, and otherwise ruined. After much trial and error I’ve finally stumbled upon a bread recipe that not only is impossible to mess up but that only takes one hour to make

That’s right guys gals and nonbinary pals, one hour foolproof bread. And boy howdy do I mean foolproof. So, how does the magic work?

Originally posted by imforeverjustyours


-1 T honey

-1 T instant yeast

-1 ½ C warm water

-1 ½ t salt

-3 ½-4 ½ C flour (plus some for your hands)


1. Combine water, honey, yeast and salt in a bowl. Allow to proof for five minutes (so just leave it alone for a bit)

2. Add two cups of flour, stir to combine. Add final cup and a half to flour slowly, mixing/kneading as you do so. At the end the dough should be smooth and no longer stick to your hands. (You can use up to 4 ½ c of flour total, so don’t feel bad for going over 3 ½ c)

3. Put on greased baking sheet, shape into loaf. Cover and let rise somewhere warm for twenty minutes.

4. Preheat oven to 400F/205C

5. Cut slits on top of bread. OPTIONAL: Put olive oil/butter and herbs/salt on top of bread for extra flavor.

6. Bake for 15-20 Minutes until crust is golden brown. 

7. Let it cool slightly before you eat it. The bread will be dense with a chewy crust, most similar to French peasant bread. 

That’s it! I usually brush olive oil, herbs, and some salt on the crust and serve it with homemade honey butter. In my old oven it takes eighteen minutes to cook, a few test loaves will let you know how long it needs to cook for in your oven.

I’ve also made a variety of toppings, including egg washes and, one time, salted caramel to put on top before baking. You can also stir herbs into the flour before mixing to add even more flavor into the bread. 

my future apartment will be messy. it will have unfinished sketches and film camera photos, and pressed flowers and train tickets all over the walls. each cup, each spoon will look different, each will have it’s own story. there will be potted plants all over the place, i will grow lemongrass and thyme myself. the windows will be huge and opened most of the time, there will be tiny drops of paint everywhere. i will have loads of pillows and masive knitted blankets laying around, just in case. i will have a huge bookshelf and big white candles, and a record player, and i will listen to old songs, sing and dance along. i will bake banana bread and poppyseed buns and give them to my neighbors. i will have a big, warm dog to cuddle up to when i begin to feel lonely. the air will smell like rain, honey, books and jasmine tea

Stress baking be like
  • Someone: Hey, how are y-
  • Me: *opens oven to point at loaf of bread*
  • Me: *makes sweeping gesture at the other three loafs of bread already on the counter*
  • Me: *gesticulates wildly at the five trays of cupcakes on the table*
  • Me: *pulls open cabinet to reveal it bursting with cookies*
  • Me: *explodes violently into a mess of dough and frosting*

Ladies, gentlemen and those not usually addressed in large audiences, I have fallen out with cake. Don’t panic, I will still make the odd sponge, but for this year I am going to focus on bread. I have finally discovered a recipe and proving technique that works, this bad boy rose an inch above the top of the tin. AN INCH. So I am going to focus on making bread and experimenting with pastry, as it has been severely neglected or shop bought in my two years as a celiac.
I will not apologise for the baking spam that will follow, if you know me you know I get very excited even when it’s a complete flop.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I just wanted to share... when I was about 5-6 y/o, I baked my first bread rolls. I wanted to give them to my grandpa. My grandpa had diabetes, so in my mind, I cannot give him any form of sugar AT ALL. So, my brain processed that NO SUGAR information and decided to substitute the sugar needed for the bread roll into SALT. It was rock hard solid when it came out. Grandpa took a bite anyway to humor me, and some teeth from his dentures came out. And that was my first foray into baking. XD

Oh noooooooo tiny baby salt rolls :D