i ate the whole pint

i just ate a whole pint of ice cream and this shit makes me want to roll around in the rainbow-colored bodily fluids of homosexual kittens and slap myself

hi everyone it’s me and i want you to know i miss my wife

honey if you’re reading this i ate a whole pint of ice cream and now my stomach hurts i’m a mess without u

instead of eating a whole pint of ice cream i ate half of one pint last night and now i’m eating half of another pint to disguise the fact that i am in fact still fucking eating a whole pint of ice cream

Going to be really transparent with yall. If you didn’t know, this week is #NEDA also known as Nation Eating Disorder Awareness Week. The left, was 9 days post show last July. The right, is in the peak of my struggles with #BED (binge eating disorder). This is the ONLY picture I ever took when I was at my heaviest. I went 106lbs on the left, to 136lbs on the right in 3 months. I gained 30lbs in 3 months. I was trapped. I was miserable. I was lost. I hated that it had gotten to this point. I feel like BED is often times extremely overlooked. It’s real. It’s not just a “love for food” it is a mental disorder. I’m gonna quote some of my posts I posted to tumblr in my recovery tab. “I wake up with the thought that "this is the day, this is the day I won’t binge…. I looked over in the mirror and saw my reflected and hated what I saw. But I went and ate my planned lunch, a whole wheat chicken wrap, and then I ate a pint of ice cream, a box of Oreos, entire bag of goldfish, a muffin and pop tarts. I ate it all minus half the box of Oreos. But that’s only because I felt physically ill.” And then “I hate asking myself and asking God "why me?” Because it brings me back to the days of when I was depressed and cutting myself and that itself makes me realize how low of a point I am at, which scares me.“ I had zero hope. I was sinking back into a place I told myself I would never get back to. I felt extremely alone. It was a vicious cycle that kept on going and going and going and I didn’t know what do to do get it stop. As for recovery, I made a video and it’s on my YouTube Channel (link in bio) but for those of yall struggling with an binge eating disorder. I promise you, there is HOPE. There will be a day where you no longer feel powerless over food. There will be a day where you can eat a cookie and stop when you’re satisfied. There will be a day where you don’t feel the burdens of this disorder haunting you. There will be a day where you don’t have to worry. There will be a day where you will feel PEACE, HAPPINESS, and ENJOY life. Whatever you do, don’t give up. And KEEP. ON. FIGHTING. ❤️

Today I started off nice and healthy in my food and then around noon I ate an entire medium pizza, 4 Reese’s peanut butter cups, a whole pint of Ben and Jerry’s and then I went to Starbucks for a trenta refresher

I’m gonna need to bust my ass tomorrow at the gym OMFG