i apologize my brain just sees these things

anonymous asked:

Hi Alice!!! I just read your Edmund and Caspian friendship hc and loved it! And I was just wondering if you have some hc's about Edmund's infamous suitors? We always see Susan with her suitors but not so much as Ed with his :) Thanks ❤️

Hehe, thank you!!! And yesssss, oh my gosh, can you imagine? 

  • Edmund’s first suitor appeared when he was only twelve 
  • He had a bit of a growth spurt, and puberty was starting to hit
  • And he caught the eye of this princess who was 11 
  • There was only a year difference, but she had a hopeless crush on him
  • She would follow him around EVERYWHERE 
  • During important meetings, she would attend despite not having the need to just to stare at Edmund 
  • Edmund didn’t actually know what was up until he told Peter how this girl was creeping him out, and Peter just laughed 
  • He told Edmund exactly what was happening, and Edmund had never turned so red from embarrassment 
  • Thankfully, Peter was more in the spotlight and his next suitor didn’t appear until he was sixteen 
  • She was a lady from another smaller province and she had a very…peculiar way of complimenting him 
  • “Oh, Edmund…your brown eyes remind me of the twigs in my garden.” 
  • “My lord, your skin is as white as paper…it makes you so beautiful and fragile.” 
  • “King Edmund, your ears are quite outstanding aren’t they!” 
  • He was never quite sure if she was insulting him or complimenting him
  • Edmund tried to squash her advances by pushing one of his knights onto her 
  • Turns out his knight was far more interested and actually ended up courting the girl 
  • His next notable suitor came when he was eighteen
  • He had just come of age in Narnia, and a ball was held in his honor 
  • He got the usual attention from young ladies, but at that point he had learned how to politely decline 
  • Or sick Lucy and Susan on them–both were effective 
  • One widow in her forties seemed to wave them off and give him some peace at the ball 
  • She was really sweet to him, and Edmund pitied her since she had just lost her husband and never had the chance to have children 
  • She extended her visit at Cair, and she and Edmund actually got along well 
  • He thought of her as a mother figure…but she–er–had some other intentions 
  • It wasn’t until Susan gently broke the news to Edmund 
  • He was sooo horrified, and slightly disgusted
  • After some help from Peter, the lady finally left Edmund alone 
  • After the initial shock died down, his siblings had a good laugh about it…and he couldn’t help joining along 
  • When he was in his early twenties, he had one suitor that nearly caused a fire
  • She was not very nice at all, but she appeared to be in front of Edmund 
  • She flirted with him horribly…honestly, she was very bad
  • Edmund tried so many things…gently letting her down, bluntly letting her down
  • He tried to get Susan, Lucy, and even Peter to discourage her 
  • He got so desperate, he asked one of his good lady friends to act as his suitor for a short while 
  • Not even that pushed her off 
  • In the end, he went to her father and told him what had happened 
  • His suitor came storming in a horrifically ugly dress with so many feathers and claimed that she would start a war based on unrequited love
  • Of course, the others in the room chuckled at her expense
  • Her hand motions grew more animated, and she didn’t see the lit candle that caught fire on the feather from her sleeve 
  • She started running around wildly, and would’ve caught the room on fire if Edmund didn’t throw a glass of water on her singed sleeve
  • She was SOOO angry, but everyone in the room started laughing at the ridiculous situation 
  • Her father apologized to Edmund for her behavior, but she never visited Cair again
  • None of the Pevensies could say they minded 


Sorry ya’ll. My brain came up with some strange things just now. Haha…but I hope it made you laugh a little. 

Can we have a long post with Edmund’s suitor stories? Cuz honestly they would be hilarious.

Killing Stalking is back kids, and so am I.

I’ve been on vacation this week, so I haven’t been reading any of the brilliant metas around so I apologize if I brain vomit over things that have already been discussed but I did want to just get my little read through of the chapter out into the fandom. Yeeeee.

Other than this chapter being ridiculously brutal and graphic, I was very surprised by what an emotionally vulnerable turd Sangwoo is in this chapter. 

Keep reading

2

Look! It’s my face! And I’m alive!!!

I’ve been neglectful of my blog and I have to apologize. Things have been very good and positive and fun of late and, as you guys have seen, my life and my brain can sometimes get quite dark. So I’m truly trying to absorb these moments so if the dark times come back, I have these memories to carry me through.

I *am writing! Yay! It’s just taking me a while as life is very busy. But your asks will NOT go unanswered, it just may take some time for you to see them.

Thank you for your patience and understanding during this time. I love you guys.

Calls and Consequences, Chapter 2

So here is the half chapter that wont see the light of day because after the finale my brain refuses to process this series of events. SIIIIIGH. So instead I present all I had for chapter 2 - initially I was just going to post the Blip/Mike part but then figured why not post the whole thing for context. Its not fully edited so apologies for any dumb errors. Enjoy!!


For a long, heavy moment they sat quietly on the bed, neither quite sure what to say or do. Mike was still a Padre – it didn’t seem quite real yet.

It was Ginny that moved first, grabbing her dress off the floor on her side of the bed and shimming into it – ridiculously he kept his eyes averted like he hadn’t just spent the better part of the last hour touching every inch of her skin.

“I…I should go,” she said with a shaking voice.

“Ginny-“ he started but had nothing else to say in the moment.

What the hell was there to say? They’d not only slept together but had made it patently clear beforehand that there were feelings involved and it wasn’t just a quick release of tension. This was going to get ugly, fast.

Like she had on the street, Ginny gave him an expectant look but this one was laced with irritation or maybe frustration.

When he didn’t continue, she got out of the bed, picking up her shoes (when had those come off?) and all but ran out of the room and down the stairs where she looked around frantically.

“Ginny!” his voice called down the stairs as he followed her now dressed in sweats and a t-shirt.

“Where’s my purse?” she asked with what seemed like growing terror.

Instead of responding, Mike stopped in front of her, gently gripping her shoulders. “Ginny,” he practically whispered. “Hey…”

“My purse, Lawson!”

He’d never seen her like this, in a near panic, tears welling in her eyes. Silently he went to the entryway and picked it up, handing it over.

Fishing her phone out of the purse, Ginny tapped a few keys – clearly ordering a car.

“Look,” he started but she cut him off.

“It was a mistake, Mike.”

Now he started to get angry. The fact the trade had fell through did not mean their actions were a mistake - poorly timed, certainly, but they had made the decision with clear heads and the assumption they were no longer on the same team. It didn’t change how he felt about her.

“It was not a mistake Ginny,” he huffed out. “I’ve made a shitload of mistakes in my time and what we did, sleeping together, was most certainly not one of them.”

It looked like she wanted to refute, but couldn’t because she knew he was right, and yet – she’d broken her rule and gotten burned again and this time it was so, so much worse. They were on the same team, she saw him every single day, he was her catcher, they spent an inordinate amount of time together.

There was no walking back from this. A near-miss kiss would have been bad enough, but they’d stood on that street and practically announced their feelings to each other before acting on them.

Suddenly she felt nauseous.

“This stays between us,” she hissed, displacing anger with herself toward him. “No one finds out.”

She expected him to look hurt at that but if anything his face softened. “I would never, Ginny. Never.”

There were lights in his driveway and Ginny moved toward the door, a pained expression on her face.

A soft, “Goodbye, Mike” was all she said while slipping out the door.

The finality in her tone sent ice through his heart, it seemed like she was saying goodbye for more than the night.

Mike turned back into his house, frustrated and angry with the situation. He didn’t think it was a mistake, not for a moment, but there was also a part of him that regretted their timing. God, was their timing shitty. But emotions had taken over and they’d thought he was leaving and…and it was entirely possible he had ruined the one good thing he had – his friendship with Ginny.

“FUCK!” he screamed into the silence.

As the car worked it was back to her hotel, Ginny struggled to hold back tears. Mike had been right, it wasn’t a mistake, they’d both wanted it she made a conscious decision because he was leaving. And now he wasn’t and maybe she had ruined something that could have been so, so good if they’d just waited.

It was a mess now; it would be a disaster tomorrow.

They were going to have to act as if nothing had happened in front of teammates, in front of Amelia and Blip and Evelyn – oh, God, Evelyn would both crucify and congratulate her.

And there was no one to talk to about this, the person she would have called was Mike.

By the time she got into her room, Ginny was unable to hold back the tears and let them fall as she stripped off the dress, horrified when she realized her underwear was still at Mike’s, in her rush she hadn’t picked them up. Her heart constricted as she remembered his expression upon seeing her naked for the first time – awe mixed with something she couldn’t quite pin down. Affection? Maybe love?

Slipping into fresh underwear along with shorts and t-shirt, Ginny got into bed and curled into a ball. Sleep, however, was not easy to come by.

 

Across town, Mike had settled in on his couch, TV on ESPN but volume turned low (they’d already caught wind of the failed trade and his stupid face was all over). Sleeping in the bed was not an option, not when the sheets smelled like Ginny and he didn’t have the heart to strip them and remove it (her) entirely.

Christ, he was a disaster. A goddamn human disaster.

Eventually he fell into a fitful sleep.

Walking into the clubhouse the next morning, exhausted and wrung out, Mike was greeted by a round of applause and cat calls from the guys along with some good natured ribbing about the trade falling through, he took it all in stride even as his eyes subtly scanned the room for her – somewhat relieved to see her not there.

Upon sitting in his chair, a small wooden box was pushed into his vision and Mike took it with a smile.

“Glad you stayed, man,” Blip said and clapped his back.

“I hate to admit it, but Oscar killed the deal apparently. Something about my ridiculous salary.” Looking around the room at the guys, his guys, Mike amended, “Can’t say I’m sorry he did.”

“Does she know?” Blip asked as he sat down.

It was on the tip of his tongue to say “she was with me when I got the call” but his brain intercepted the traitorous thought. “Yeah, I…talked to her last night. She here?” If his voice waivered just a bit, Mike couldn’t help it, his stomach was in knots.

Blip’s eyes narrowed dangerously at him, like he was piecing something together (fucking Sherlock Holmes this guy) but responded, “Yeah, I saw her go into her locker room about ten minutes ago.”

Mike nodded.

“Something going on with you guys?”

Mike’s eyes darted around his locker as he responded with, “Nope.”

Blip was still staring at him, practically boring holes in his head, even as Mike casually started putting everything back in his locker before standing and heading toward the trainer’s room, he still needed his pre-warm up PT.

If there was any kind of silver lining in this mess, it was the fact Ginny wasn’t pitching today, so they wouldn’t be forced to be on the field together.

So he didn’t see her until they filed into the dugout, everyone doing their pregame rituals. For a half second he caught her eye, she looked nervous, anxious and as tired as he felt. He tried a smile but she looked away to talk to Duarte without so much as an acknowledgement.

“Great,” he mumbled as Cooper tagged him to warm up and he followed, pulling his catcher’s mask from the bench.

The actual game went better than expected, Padres winning in the last inning off a Blip Saunders double driving in Evers.

As they walked back into the clubhouse, Blip suddenly gripped Mike’s elbow and led him toward the trainer’s room (the same one he’d railed into Robles not so long ago) - Mike was so surprised by the action he didn’t have time to even protest.

Until the door closed behind him and he rounded on Blip. “What the fuck, man!”

Despite Mike’s outrage, Blips face remained impassive, his voice flat as he asked, “What happened between you and Ginny?”

“Nothing,” he spluttered, caught off guard. “What – why are you asking?”

Blip rolled his eyes. “Because Ginny, who should be off the walls excited that you are here and not in Chicago, has avoided anything involving you.” He made a show of raising his left hand and used the fingers to tick off his list of evidence. “She didn’t come into the clubhouse after getting dressed, or before for that matter; she didn’t watch batting practice; she didn’t stand at the top of the stairs when you rounded home in the third to do that arm thing you two do; she spent the entire game talking to me or Duarte or Robles, who enjoyed that a little too much by the way, or literally anyone not named Mike Lawson when we all know she prefers to spend her downtime yapping at you. Explain. Now.”

Mike stalked like a caged animal, his hand running through his beard. Of course it would be Blip that sniffed out something was off; he was close with both of them and far, far too observant for his own good. Then again, just based on his “evidence”, they really were doing a poor job of hiding anything.

His mind spun, trying to come up with a credible lie, but his silence only fed Blip’s sleuthing.

“Mike…” His tone was warning, irritated. Yeah, Blip would make a good captain one day, probably better than him.

“I don’t know what the hell Baker is thinking,” he finally said, a little angry. It was the truth, though not exactly an answer and clearly not the one Blip wanted based on his face.

Eyes narrowing dangerously at him, Blip called him out. “I swear to God, Mike, I don’t care that we are friends, I don’t care that you are my captain-“

“Yeah, I’m your captain, remember that, man.”

“What happened last night? Last I knew you were going home. You call her up to say goodbye?” Blip’s eyes widened and stepped closer to Mike, his finger now pointing right at the captain, the wheels spinning in his head. “You meet her somewhere to say goodbye? You were going to the Cubs, it was your last night in San Diego…holy-“ Now he pointed in the direction of her locker room, Mike had never, ever seen him this angry. “Did you sleep with her?”

“I-“

Blips voice rose, but not loud enough to be heard outside the room and he closed the gap between them, within touching distance. “Did you sleep with her?” Each word was slowly enunciated.

Mike opened, then closed, his mouth…he couldn’t admit to it, but the silence once again spoke volumes and Blip went from angry to incensed in a half second.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Mike?! God dammit. I didn’t think even you would go that low. What the hell were you thinking? Oh, wait, you weren’t. You were all about Mike Lawson and your dick.”

Mike’s eyes flashed anger. “That was uncalled for.”

“I don’t think so, since you divorced Rachel your choice of bed mates has been questionable at best! What was she, another notch? Another one night stand?”

“Not her…never her. I wouldn’t do that.”

“Really Mike? Cause this morning you were supposed to be on a plane! What is that exactly?”

Mike scrubbed his face with his hands. “Ok, fine. Yeah, it was going to be one night. Because I wasn’t a Padre, because we could, because we were supposed to be thousands of miles away today and it wouldn’t affect the team. Because we both wanted it.”

“Well then, you both fucked up, man,” Blip hissed and stepped away from him. “She’s your teammate, you’re battery mate, your legacy-“

“And she’s an adult who made a decision. We both did.”

“The team, man-“

Mike, frustrated, yelled, “I wasn’t supposed to be here! She was the god damn reason I decided to leave!”

That brought Blip up short. “What?”

In full tirade, Mike continued, “Yeah, I wanted the ring, who doesn’t, right? But I was happy here, with you guys. And then three months ago, Ginny Baker gets called up and she – she gets under my skin, pushing me harder than anyone has. And I realize that it’s not fucking Robles with feelings, it’s me.  And I knew I couldn’t stay here, because she’s my teammate, my pitcher, because at some point it would be a problem and so I decided to run, leave. It was easier than having to deal with being in-“ Mike stopped himself just short of saying it. “-with having feelings for Ginny.”

Blips face fell. “Jesus, Mike.”

“It’s been three months, and last night I was sitting in that bar looking at her, the only person I called, and all I could think was this woman was the thing I was going to miss the most. So when she kissed me…I didn’t stop her. I couldn’t.”

Silence reigned for a long time as Mike watched Blip process what he’d said, realizing this wasn’t just a one night deal and how much of a mess they’d actually made.

“You wanna punch me?” Mike asked, dead serious.

“So bad you have no idea, but right now the rest of the team is blissfully unaware of what happened and my punching your god damn lights out won’t help the situation. I am angry right now, Mike, but damn…I didn’t realize-”

“Yeah, me either,” Mike breathed out and leaned against a table, crossing his arms. “You know how you like to tell the story about the first time you saw Ev in college and you knew?”

“Yeah…don’t tell me…”

“Oh, no. The first time I laid eyes on Baker I thought she was a gimmick, a novel way for the league to get some attention. A pretty one, for sure. But man, her second game, when she got back out there after blowing her first chance? I realized this was not a gimmick and she was something special. It started right there, and quickly spiraled.”

“You gotta sort this out, she pitches tomorrow.”

“I know… but she’s mad and I don’t know why.”

Blip grinned, just a little. “She’s not mad at you, man - she’s mad at herself. Broke her rule for the second time and for the second time got burned.”

Mike’s eyes darkened. “I’m not Trevor Davis.”

“Told you about him, huh?”

“Yeah, all about how he told her he was leaving baseball all the while knowing he was being scouted and got her to come out in public with him. And how her teammates gave her shit about it for almost a year.”

Blip frowned. “They what?”

“Her minor league teammates gave her grief about it. It got ugly for a bit.” It was Mike’s turn to frown. “You didn’t know?”

“No, she never said anything. When did she tell you that?”

“Phone call one night, can’t remember which one.”

Blip shook his head. “You two are idiots, go find her…now. Get this sorted out.”

“Yes, Black Yoda.”

anonymous asked:

i'm also baffled why turntugg (lindsay/meg) isn't more popular considering michael said it himself that they're like female him and gavin

i’m so upset that lindsay and meg isn’t a bigger pairing like come on 

  • you’ve got lindsay
  • you’ve got meg
  • lindsay and meg
  • they would probably argue about which one of them was luckier to be in their relationship what sappy nerds
  • the slightly more functional version of michael and gavin
  • probably affectionately call each other turney and tuggey
  • “listen, turney, i love you, but i’m about to kick your ass in ddr.”
  • “aw. that’s cute. you’re cute. i’m going to fucking destroy you.”
  • meg loves her cute gf even after she somehow ruined an iron skillet beyond repair while trying to make a cake
  • it’s the thought that counts
  • lindsay has learned to make the thought count through things other than cooking attempts
  • they decorate the fuck out of their house for holidays and only get a little distracted by each other
  • (a lot distracted)
  • all the sharing of accessories and such that would occur
  • “are you wearing my shirt?”
  • “yes.”
  • “carry on.”
  • all the small, little things they would do just because they know each other so well and thought of the other
  • (for example: meg gets one of these rings for no reason at all, except lindsay seeing it and her brain blaring meg, meg, meg. lindsay gets hugged for a very long time.)
  • all the customized adoringly sweet nerdy jewelry they get each other because they’re sappy nerds in love

anonymous asked:

Hunk and Coran discussing their food cultures. How it reminds them of home.

(i am so sorry, you deserve better than this, but i got completely stuck when i got sick and i didn’t want to keep leaving you with nothing? i will extend it when i feel better.)


Hunk frowned at the jars in his hands, then at the boxes of supplies they’d brought aboard. “Hey, Coran?”

The older man didn’t look up from where he was sorting several pouches into slots in a drawer. “Hm?”

“I’ve been kinda wandering since our stop on Thalani… You know a lot about this stuff and what they all do… How come you never use any of it?”

Coran straightened and opened the next box in one motion, but Hunk still caught it: a slight catch, a small clenching in his hands. “You seem to do just fine working intuitively,” Coran replied, voice even despite the slip. 

Maybe a little too even? And had that been a dodge? He was pretty sure that was a dodge.

Hunk put the jars in their places on the shelf, then dug back into the box he’d been emptying, curiosity bickering with caution. “Well… okay, I guess, but… Don’t you get tired of just putting the same thing in the replicators all the time when you’ve got all this here?”

At a sharp crunch, he started in alarm and looked over to find that Coran had put down a bottle so hard it had cracked, and though he couldn’t see the Altean’s face, every line in the redhead’s body was tense. “C- Coran?” he asked nervously.

“My apologies if my recipe memory’s rusty for anything other than emergency rations,” Coran replied, voice oddly brittle. Not… angry, but-

Unfortunately, his brain skipped a track slightly. “Wait, you’ve been feeding us emergency rations?” he asked, before it actually caught up to where it was supposed to be and he realized the full weight of just what that meant. “All this time… those were…” 

Coran turned away from the supplies they were unpacking, and was out the door before Hunk could catch him.

He felt like an ass. And he was really wishing he’d studied the layout of the ship beyond the areas he’d been working with Pidge in. Coran, he’d just learned, was surprisingly fast when he wanted to be, and now he had no idea where to find the guy.

Luckily, there was someone who always seemed to. 

“-and I have really screwed up, and I gotta fix it,” he finished explaining to Shiro in the training round.

“Geez,” Shiro muttered rubbing the back of his neck. “I can think of one place he’d probably go to cool off, but I’m not sure he’d want me taking you down there.”

“Please? I swear I won’t tell anyone if it’s some kind of secret, but I gotta talk to him.”

“…Alright.” Shiro crouched and put away the spear he’d been practicing with, then whistled. Thatchia, who’d been napping on the railing, hopped down with a chirp and shuffled over to be picked up. “Follow us.”

this blog is going to be different for a while

so im gunna like… apologize in advance of the next few weeks.

so i officially left my abusive parents just under 2 weeks ago now (hooray!!!) but now that i’m not constantly under pressure from them, my brain has decided it is time to feel all the bad-feels™ ever and i’m kind of floating in a dissociative limbo where big emotions are triggered by seemingly very small things all the time. 

this means you’ll probably see some very immature behavior from me, because chances are i’m in a terrified 12 year old’s head again on and off until i get over this. 

im actually just fine, this is normal and actually good because for the first time since i was born twenty years ago, i’m safe with a family where i can mourn over what happened to me in such a way that i can process it. 

but this is also painful and as i said will have some odd effects. so in the meantime if you can just bear with me, ill probably be more active on my other side blogs and doing a lot of unfollowing and refollowing and random ass posts and updates on whats going on.

anonymous asked:

Hi!! I love your fics and think your writing is really good, do you have any tips for beginners just starting to write fic? Like does it help to plot organization points or anything? Thank you~~❤️❤️

Anon, I just want you to hug yourself for me real quick. Did you do it? Yes? Good. Thanks ^.^

So, every writer has a different process that works for them. For me personally I don’t ever outline. It’s just not how my brain works. If yours does work that way though, here are some great methods to do that.

My brain is a little scattered today so I’m not sure how coherent this will be, my apologies. I’m just going to use paragraphs as bullet points, each covering different tidbits of writing advice.

The biggest tip that I have is one that gets repeated but not often listened to. Just…keep writing. Write lots. Write different things. Think of something you want to see and try to make it happen yourself. If you don’t like it, write something new. Do that again and again and again until one day you look over what you wrote and think “hey, this is actually good, I like this”. It’s okay not to love every piece you’ve written but try not to let that discourage you from writing another one. 

When I write my fics one thing I try to keep is mind is the phrase “the devil’s in the details”. You can create the most amazing imagery with the smallest details, such as mentioning the position of someone’s hands or describing the scenery around them. Saying “he was nervous” doesn’t give us as much of a mental picture as saying “he fiddled nervously with his mug”. Little details are quick but add so much to the story. 

Something I am constantly on the watch for is what I call “the mix”. What I mean by that is I try to have a good mix of dialogue vs commentary vs description of the scenery vs character’s thoughts/feelings. When I was just starting out I felt like I was juggling too many balls and I found it easier to just write the scene and then go back and ask myself “Can I add a word here? Can I add a description there?” It flows much more easily with practice but I still go back sometimes and see just a large block of dialogue. So I just add a few sentences about the character’s reaction, their emotions or the way they are moving about the room as they speak. 

On the opposite side of the above, however, keep in mind that sometimes you might WANT that. You might be trying to create a certain style or a certain feel for that particular fic. Don’t ever let someone tell you that your fic is “wrong” somehow. You set out to do something and when it’s finished it will be just how you wanted it to be. If they wanted it different then they should have written it themselves. You are telling your version of the story. Your version is not capable of being “wrong”. 

I think I got off topic somewhere but, like I said, I am very brain-tired. Try different things when writing your fics and find which one works best for you. Try organizing the chapters first. Try just opening a new document and starting to write. Try making up a visual scene in your head and then trying to describe that scene to an audience. 

One last thing to remember though is that having a good plot in mind is awesome and all but inspiration can strike at the strangest times and it is totally okay to follow that plot bunny down the rabbit hole. Some of my favs of my own writing happened because I veered super off course from where I meant to end up. 

In short, try different shit but never forget to have fun while you’re doing it :P

Also, don’t be afraid to show up in my inbox and ask me to read your shit. Ten times out of ten I will make time to do it and let you know what I liked about it. 

Muah! Love you anon! Can’t wait to stumble across your writing some day and enjoy the fuck out of it!

Listen I think I’ve just had the greatest dream about an asexual porno

So it opens up on a sticker in a closet that says “Asexual is not unsexy” and it zooms out and this girl is just in her closet trying on bikinis while her friend just stares because she’s so beautiful. Then her mom comes and tosses her yet another bikini and says “listen I know you two girls like to get into funny business but your father and I can’t be late so you better be ready in 69 minutes or else.” And instead of watching while she tried on the new bikini, she averted her eyes and said “your mom is so weird. Why wouldn’t she just say an hour? Why does it have to be exactly 69 minutes?” And the girl trying on the bikini is just like “yeah or why wouldn’t she just warn me when it’s closer to time to leave.” And then they spend 10 minutes lamenting about how impractical her mom is.

Then a few minutes later a pizza guy pokes his head in the window (and yeah dreams are weird but I just know this guy was played by H. Jon Benjamin) and he’s like “Anyone order a sausage pizza?” And the two girl just stare at him, and then the glance over to another sticker on the wall and the camera pans over and it says “No perverts wanted” and the guy sees it and respectfully apologizes and leaves.

And then my dream zooms out and I’m sitting in a room with like 5 guys as we’re watching these two girl get ready for their day and I’m just like “wow this is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen” and all the guys were like “Really? Because I hate this porno”

And then I woke up but honestly I have never been more entertained by my own brain

meme monday on sunday

Ok, y’all, here we go again. I apologize in advance, these aren’t great. The inspiration muse apparently took a vacation. Hope you enjoy, anyways.

And apparently, I really have a thing for the hide and seek theme. I don’t know why. I can’t explain it. I see them hiding and that is instantly where my brain goes. It could be because I’m super tired.

If you want to be tagged (bless you, because I just feel blah about these) let me know.

Tagging my supporters: skcolicity solicity97 jbuffyangel theirrelevantlyimportant smoakingtardis redpenandfern mel-loves-all scu11y22 aubvi thenerddess sentence-fragments we-are-the-unthinkable jedichick04 mogirl97 olicity-beautiful-dreamer

So as not to clog up people’s dashboards. More after the break.

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anonymous asked:

everyone can believe what they like. lili and cole have been close from the get-go - and mads and cole have ALWAYS been sibling-like. Cole did not suddenly shift to Lili because of that, lol. A lot of people seem hell-bent on them not being a thing, I think because they don't want to see Cole with a gf. It's right there in B&W. They're not gonna give us evidence because they want privacy.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

my brain is kind of fried right now and I apologize for such an ignorant response but you know, they can keep what they want private and I’ll just keep vibing with whatever we sprousehart shippers get. 

🎵Goo Goo Dolls Starters 1/3🎵

❝ I don’t want to go on livin’ in this rut. ❞

❝ I can’t afford to buy a pair of shoes. ❞

❝ I’m addicted as I want to be. ❞

❝ Go out and learn your own. ❞

❝ I’ll soon be with you, my love. ❞

❝ I’ll stay with you ‘til the seas are dried up. ❞

❝ I’ve been waiting so long to be where I’m going. ❞

❝ I don’t know who you are. ❞

❝ Don’t you know I didn’t love you? ❞

❝ I could’ve loved you. ❞

❝ You made me happy. ❞

❝ Everything I know will vanish with the years. ❞

❝ I think it’ll be okay. ❞

❝ Why are you so blind that you can only see today? ❞

❝ You’re so blind. ❞

❝ Come on and show me just what you mean to me. ❞

❝ Come on and hold me just like you used to do. ❞

❝ I don’t know your name. ❞

❝ You really thought you had me. ❞

❝ I’m standing here just screaming at the wall. ❞

❝ Fuck your silly game, cuz it’s driving me insane. ❞

❝ It’s hard to be all the things you want me to be. ❞

❝ There’s no way out. ❞

❝ I don’t wanna lie around with this feeling anymore. ❞

❝ And I don’t wanna stand up, when I’m by your side. ❞

❝ If I leave today, don’t know where to go that I can stay. ❞

❝ I can’t lead. ❞

❝ You think you understand the way it made me feel? ❞

❝ I’ve had enough. ❞

❝ If you had a brain, you’d be smart enough to change. ❞

❝ You broke my heart, and I really lost my will. ❞

❝ Being afraid can be okay, if you’re willing to let things go. ❞

❝ I don’t know why I feel the way I feel. ❞

❝ You’d be a punk without me. ❞

❝ You’ll never see me again. ❞

❝ You keep on reaching for those things you just can’t keep. ❞

❝ I don’t need to apologize. ❞

❝ Think about all the stupid things that I’ve done. ❞

❝ I feel like laughing. ❞

❝ I didn’t mean to lie. ❞

❝ I was doing what I thought was right. ❞

❝ How could you believe in someone sorry-sad like me? ❞

❝ One day ain’t forever. You’ll find your time. ❞

❝ At this point, we beggars can’t be choosers. ❞

❝ I ain’t got the patience or the time to waste. ❞

❝ I’d rather hang with drunks than hang out with myself. ❞

❝ Well, the booze is over there, take a glass off the shelf. ❞

❝ If you need a friend I’m there by your side. ❞

❝ I just wanna know if I’m wasting my time. ❞

❝ We don’t see eye to eye. ❞

❝ I’m on your side. ❞

❝ Don’t pretend like you know my name. ❞

Lady things

Pairing: None; just friendship Dean & Sam x reader. (Maybe Dean x reader if you squint a bit.)

Type: Oneshot/request.

Word count: 1207

Notes/summary: Imagine Dean and Sam helping you while you’re on your period.

(P.S. I’m posting this very late at night and my brain is not working anymore, so I apologize for any mistakes.)

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so, as promised, my love your artist post! I apologize in advance for my silly brain that will obviously make me forget a lot of people -  it’s just because I follow a lot of blogs, and I’m just a complete mess at these things. To whoever reads this: Sorry! It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you sosososo much. Maybe it’s just because I haven’t had the chance to enjoy your amazing works yet (and in this case, pls let me!  I will never ever get tired of seeing more art and reading more great fics!). <3

anyway

Originally posted by its-never-ending-dream


I’ll start with some people that I’ve known for a while now and  call friends &/or interact with on a pretty regular basis …or are just such a common presence on my dash I just feel like they’re a huge part of my tumblr experience, and I just wanna smooch their noses ok 
-
becausedragonage (also my first follower ever on tumblr & zevranite chief), alisienna (SIS<3), filthyknifeear (babe <3 even if she’s not been around here for a while), black-rose4, azuremosquito, byolaeka (I LOVE THE THREE OF YOU SO MUCH OK), my-hart-will-go-onthejbusition, dorianpavus-art, blimington-bear(who are also 100% sweethearts), ellustration (extra talented cutie patootie) gerundsandcoffee (new acquaintance, but I already feel like I can’t do without), mysweetbologna (also music dealer of choice), embeebee (the queen who blessed us with the themed drinks I mean!!!), cocotingo, leftforbed (two such great artists I can’t even), wardenaeducan (your fics are going to kill me someday) 

Moar excellent people I love:
 dyr0z, exographik, cookiesdf, blackheath-art, rayeliann, officialvarrictethras, arkolonaut, sketchys, bloomingcnidarians, anotherdayforchaosfay, aubergion,commander-shakarian, dalish-defender, cornbeefroast, knife-eared-inquisitor-tats, resoan, vicdin, liquidlyrium, wondycupcake, dumb-art, viva-la-dalish,

the senpais- aka people excellent at their arts & crafts (who aren’t probably remotely aware of my existence)  I look up to and admire immensely. Thank you for being so awesome and sharing your talents! 

mortinfamiart, cccrystalclear, pheberoni, therealmcgee,  ymirr-art-blog, aicosu, slugette, illustratedacorns, theminttu, needlesslycryptic, lightgetsout, limpstella, siriusdraws, remington-zero, raviollies, kelgrid, baewall, cheekywithcullen, swevenfox, greendelle, oh god I’m forgetting so many :(

ok guys I tried, I’m afraid I suck at making lists. 

ADHD Awareness Month

Hey, kids! We yet again find ourselves in ADHD awareness month and I feel some small responsibility to write something on the topic. 
So, my name is Andie. I am 18 years old and I was diagnosed by a specialist about ten years ago. I have hyperactive/impulsive type ADHD. 

  1. If I’m in a hyperactive mood (Let’s be real, it’s more often than not) Please, for the love of god, don’t ask me if I’ve taken my medication. This has happened on a number of occasions, it isn’t cute, don’t do it. 
  2. No, you can’t buy my medication. Generally speaking, if I have it, it’s because I need it. It would be incredibly irresponsible of me to sell you medication that isn’t prescribed to you. 
  3. I am extremely talkative. Yeeeeah, enjoy. 
  4. If I’m bouncing my leg or fidgeting a lot, this is something called self stimulation. I do it unconsciously, and it’s usually a display of my unusually high energy levels. It helps me concentrate. Multitasking helps me concentrate and I can multitask a little more inconspicuously by doing that. If I’m ever in line at a cafe or something and I look impatient because I’m tapping my foot I SWEAR I’m not, I’m just a fidgety little bastard. 
  5. Never try and spin having ADHD as a gift. “Having so much energy must be nice!”, “It makes you more creative though, right? So isn’t having it a good thing?”. NOPE. Do not. Sure, it’s certainly an integral part of my personality, and there is the occasional positive aspect (I can pretty much have a conversation with anybody) but that doesn’t make it nice to have. 
  6. I do make careless mistakes sometimes and say inappropriate things because I have very low impulse control. I don’t have a filter from brain to mouth that functions very well, so if I ever say something that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable, it probably wasn’t intentional and I’d likely be very sorry. If this ever happens, do tell me and I will apologize profusely!
  7. I multitask. HOLY CRAP, do I multitask. Thing is, unless I’m doing 3-ish things at once, I have difficulty functioning. Think about it like this; split the brain into three or four parts. For any single one of them to function effectively, the other ones have to all be engaged in their own activity. So, if you see my bouncing from activity to activity rapidly, it’s usually me juggling that. 
  8. Yes, I am very easily distracted. 
  9. Yes, I have the worst organisational skills known to man. 
  10. No, I am not lazy, I just genuinely struggle with some tasks. 
  11. There are days where my concentration is so bad that I can’t read. I can read a sentence 25 times and still not tell you what it meant as a whole. I can tell you what each individual word means, but as far as the meaning of the whole sentence, my brain will not process it. It is EXTREMELY frustrating and happens most often under exam conditions as I can’t multitask in any real way under exam conditions. 
  12. Lists and timers. Holy shit. Life saver. If I didn’t have lists and timers, I wouldn’t get anything done. Trust me. 
  13. Never, under any circumstances, say to me “Well, everyone has a little ADHD!” Fuck off. Straight up.
  14. “Yeah, I don’t like doing homework, I think I have ADHD” is the least cute thing. That is my personal equivalent of telling someone with depression that you get sad sometimes. Don’t do it. 
  15. “I have these symptoms, do you think I have ADHD?” Dunno. Maybe, maybe not.  I’m not a doctor buddy. I have a specialist for a reason. 
  16. Don’t tell me I don’t have ADHD. Don’t tell me it was made up by doctors and drug companies and that it’s an excuse for laziness or something. Don’t tell me my behavior is a result of bad parenting or lack of discipline. That is extremely ignorant, don’t waste my time with that. (Yes, it really happens. Thank you various childhood teachers and peers)
  17. I have a fun thing that comes with ADHD called hyperfocus. What that is, generally if I enjoy an activity a great deal, I will get an incredibly high amount of focus for it. This is usually applied when learning about something new or learning to do something new and I will pick it up extremely quickly and retain the information pretty well. I have no control over what I hyperfocus on, so don’t bother asking why I don’t do it in relation to my education, because trust me, if I could, I would. 
  18. Really loud music helps me concentrate. It’s kinda weird, but not unheard of for people without ADHD either. So it’s not THAT weird. 
  19. Having ADHD genuinely interferes with any education I’ve had IMMENSELY. It’s a pain in the ass, but that’s life. On account of the occasional inability to read or sit still, I have a hard time studying. You can imagine why. 
  20. Yes, ADHD can and does continue into adulthood for many. Some of us grow out of it, some of us don’t. I have not and from the looks of it, won’t ever. 
  21. Its annoying when most of the resources you find to help yourself are geared towards children or are information for the parents of a child with ADHD. 
  22. Having ADHD does not make me stupid. I am genuinely a reasonably intelligent person. Don’t go thinking I’m dumb as a result of having it, because it simply isn’t true. 

Well, this turned into a numbered rant! Haha

Enjoy. Any questions, please feel absolutely free to message me, I’d be more than happy to help in any way I can. 

-Andie

Insulting Starter Phrases - Part 1
  • "You're so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks."
  • "Your face makes onions cry."
  • "Shock me. Say something intelligent."
  • "If I had a dollar for every brain you didn't have, I'd have one dollar."
  • "Are you always an idiot or just when I'm around?"
  • "I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it."
  • "Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?"
  • "I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass."
  • "Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick."
  • "Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory."
  • "You do realise that make-up won't fix your stupidity"
  • "We all sprang from apes, but you couldn't spring far enough could you?"
  • "It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer."
  • "You are proof that God has a sense of humour."
  • "If ignorance is bliss then you must be the happiest person on earth."
  • "There's only one problem with your face, I can see it."
  • "It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it."
  • "Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live."
  • "I thought of you today, I was at the zoo."
  • "Did you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea."
  • "Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?"
  • "I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that."
  • "So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey."
  • "I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change."
  • "Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!"
  • "Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?"
  • "You're the best at all you do, and all you do is make people hate you."
  • "Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand."
  • "I was pro life before I met you."
  • "You're so stupid you'd trip over a cordless phone."
  • "If what you don't know can't hurt you then you're invulnerable."
  • "I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving."

OW, MY INBOX!

My apologies, friends, but I’m not gonna comment on what’s happened over at Neopets right now so your asks along those lines will sadly go unanswered. I might clear up a few really weird rumours I’ve seen floating around about non-layoff related things just because my brain won’t let me leave it alone – stupid brain – so you may see me on Reddit*, but that’s as far as I’ll go on the Neo subject for a while.

I know people are worried or curious and want some information. I’m really, really sorry about what you’re going through right now! I very much want to help. I just… this is a delicate situation. That’s the best way I can put it.

I do have one favour to ask, though, if you would be so kind. I implore people to refrain from using the term “fired”! That’s very different and not at all what happened to these people. They were laid off, specifically in a very large downsizing. It’s an important distinction and it matters!

ANYWAY. Thanks to those of you who were polite in your asks! (The majority of you, in fact.) I appreciate the extra effort while things were super hectic. To everyone else, pfft.

And thanks to those who sent kind words over for the folks who were let go! I’ve been passing them along for you. Please know they are appreciated! You guys are really swell.

Now I’m off to… uh… damn, it’s after 11pm here. It’s impossible to only watch one episode of House of Cards at a time so sleep is what I shall do instead. Yes, excellent.

Good night!


*I’m now /u/snarkiest. New account smell!

bagginshield fic prompt no. 1: “last loaf of bread”

10:55 pm, Bilbo’s watch read to him, the neon-green backlight of the face seeming to mimic the distress pitted low in his stomach as he hurried down the street. Okay, maybe ‘distress’ was a bit dramatic. Perhaps 'mild alarm’ fit better the possibility that he may not arrive to his favorite late-night bakery in time for his favorite bread before that closed (or ran out).

This might not seem like a crisis to come, but Bilbo, who was quite the accomplished baker himself, really had become dependent on this bread for the sandwiches he made himself, and his nephew, Frodo, for lunch each day. No other bread came close, and he’d never been able to pry the recipe from the Baker Gamgee, no matter how much he bribed him.

So getting there within the next few minutes was /extremely/ important, you see.

Which was why the dread in Bilbo’s stomach increased tenfold when he finally did arrive at the shop, just minutes before closing time, only to find an unfamiliar site; another customer at the counter. He didn’t take in much of the other patron’s appearance, not because he wasn’t facing him, but because the baker was handing him a load of his favorite bread. The last loaf of his favorite bread.

Keep reading

Chapter 24: part 2


I walked into the room and the first thing I saw was him. Exactly the last person I wanted to encounter tonight.

I had no energy,  and a migraine.  Ignoring his presence, I went to the closet grabbing one of his tshirts and some shorts. A hot shower and some sleep was all I needed. 

“Can we talk?”

Ignoring him I continued prepping for my shower.

“Kels I know you hear me.”

I did,  but he wasn’t getting anymore of my energy.

“I wanna be with you,” he said blocking the doorway.

“I’m trying to get into the bathroom,  please move out the way.”

“Un-fucking-believeable,  I just spit some real shit and you don’t give a fuck.”

“Exactly. ”

“Tell me that we aint got shit. Tell me to my face that you aren’t in love with me the way I am with you. I want you to look me in the eye and confess that we share an unbreakable bond that no one could ever understand. ”

“Touching seminar, wrong timing. You don’t want to be with me. You want to stay comfortable. A home life with Elle and me, and a public lie with Karrueche. So, don’t bombard me with bullshit as soon as I walk in the door.”

“You got it all wrong. I love you, like seriously.  I’ve been in love with you for a while, and like a coward I’ve been hiding it. Kels, look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel the same.”

“It doesn’t matter if I do or don’t. We are just two people who have a child. Understood?”

“No, I don’t understand. You have a bad habit hiding behind this tough girl act.”

“Oh, so now you know every single detail about me, all of a sudden?”

“I’m not saying I do.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“Sorry. I apologize for abandoning you throughout your pregnancy. For all of the fucked up shit I said. I’m sorry that I always treated you like a option opposed to a priority.”

“That’s not enough,” I said.

“I know, but it’s a step. Back when you were in Michigan, you asked me why did I hire you. I never gave you an answer. To be honest,  when I worked with you on that community project, I just remember admiring your work ethic. The way you made shit happen without waiting on anyone to do it for you. You didn’t pre-judge me from the shit that you heard.

"You came into my life and became my best friend. A girl I could smoke, talk, and laugh with. The feelings I had kept gaining strength.  I found myself wanting you near me all the time. When I was with Karrueche,  I couldn’t wait to get back to you. It’s crazy when you’re with someone for a long time and then someone else comes along and you realize that they’re your soul mate. I’m myself whenever you’re around.

"I waited for a sign from you. Any sign. You never showed any interest. It was all about work to you.  Then that night when we had video sex, I was shocked.  You consumed my brain the entire trip,  I couldn’t wait to see you and apologize.  To witness how flustered your face got once the realization of what we did kicked in. You avoided my calls.

"I show up to smooth things out.  You were acting weird. It was then that I noticed your heart on your sleeve. True,  I took advantage of the situation, but this was the second time you hadn’t turned me down -”

“Chris-”

“Just let me finish. So, we had sex. Right after you shut down, becoming stand offish, and pretended to be sleep.  I noticed. As a defense mechanism,  I pushed you away, vowing to never make the first move again. You came over the next day and my pledge was in full affect. Shit been downhill from there.”

“Stop, just please stop. Chris it’s not going to work. Had you gave that speech any other day, it might have moved me. I see what it is and it’s not what you’re perceiving it to be.”

“Niggas aint build pyramids in one day, it took time. I want us to start on a solid foundation and create something that can never be broken. ”

“I give up.”

“Give up what?”

“This conversation, attempting to get you to see my side, arguing, everything. Chris,  I’m tired. Completely exhausted.  I’ve given you so much energy in these last months that I’m now empty. I’m depressed,  I’m angry, I’m a disoriented monster with two legs. So, no I don’t want to start anything with you. I have to be selfish so I can work on myself for Lyric’s sake.”

“Ok.”

“O-k,” I said, looking at him oddly.

There was nothing else said between us. He moved out her way and I took no time rushing into the bathroom.

_______
THE NEXT DAY

“I feel like we haven’t had time to bond since you’ve arrived,” I said to mother as we walked throughout the baby boutique. 

“Honey I’m fine. Me and Joyce have been keeping each other company. ”

“So, you really like her huh?”

“Yeah, I do. She and I are a lot alike. I’m content knowing my grandbaby is surrounded by love.”

“I’m happy, because if it’s one thing that I know about you, it’s that you don’t play nice with others.”

“Chile please,” my mother said laughing a little.

“It’s so weird to be away from my baby. I miss her.”

“She’s in good hands. Chris is her father,  he needs to learn how to care for her without you hovering. ”

“Are my ears deceiving me? Cause I could’ve sworn you just said something nice about him. And f.y.i. I don’t hover, I just want to make sure he’s doing things properly.”

“Well,” she said, leaving her comment lingering in the air

“Oh, don’t get quiet now ma. I’m waiting to hear this.”

“Joyce told me that you two been sneaking and freaking when you think she’s asleep. ”

“What?” I said, shocked that she knew what was up. 

“Close your mouth something might fly in it.”

I sighed,  “we were, but I put a stop to it. I’m moving next week and I need to start on a fresh sleight. ”

“And how does he feel about that?”

“Ma,” I said pausing to look at her, “I mean,  it doesn’t matter what he feels. He knew that I was waiting on my place and now the time has come.”

“Oh.”

“Mommy, what is that supposed to mean?”

“I think you’re running from him and yourself.  Last night he put himself out there for you to see and you couldn’t even admit that you have feelings for him.”

“How did you-”

“Girl, those walls are paper thin.  Joyce and I hear everything. Just because we don’t say anything doesn’t mean we aren’t hearing it.”

“Awk-ward. ”

“I don’t see how. Hell, Lyric didn’t get here by herself.”

“Mom.”

“So, you really have no feelings for him anymore?”

“Nope.”

“If you aren’t honest with yourself honey,  then you will never be able to fully get it together.”

“Mommy,  whose side are you really on?”

“No side picking this way. I will say, he’s trying. I do notice things. Communication goes a long way.”

“Sure mommy dearest. ”

“Get your ass kicked in this store.”

We both laughed, and continued to shop around. That is until my phone vibrated.

Baby Daddy

Me and my little shooter off to the studio and yes, I did put some J’s on her feet.


That actually put a smile on my face.
____