i am very bored so ya

Riverdale Photo CrackCap 108

Subtitled: In Which Betty Realizes She Really, Really REALLY Wants the D. Like Yesterday

Okay, Betty…..slip your fingers up his thigh a bit further…..cause I don’t care if Juggie had a 6 episode/6 month/6 year plan to “get” me, I am gonna be tapping this boy’s sweet ass and finding out if things are as rock hard everywhere as they seem to be in a 6 DAY or less plan!!!

Where’s my other, pregnant daughter you young hooligans???? BETTY!!! Why is your hand almost in “Jug” “Head’s” crotch????

DW, Mrs. Cooper….Gossip Ghey (that’s me) says they’re now “boyfriend and girlfriend” and your daughter really wants Juggie’s D

Thanks for all your “help” Kevin!!! And dammit, Mom….now my 6 day plan is at least 7 days and I’m really not sure I’m gonna last that long!

Juggie: massive erection??…WHAT massive erection? I’m totally not ridiculously aroused, like 24/7…My arm’s just here cause I like it that way….now….how do I get Betty to go to that closet under the stairs with me….and will she be disappointed?? I mean, I kinda feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and I kinda want it all to be massively incredible for her. But I’m also jacking off non-stop cause I’m soooooo turned on I can’t even….

IDGAF. Just here for the bby…..

Juggie…I see your pants getting tighter and trust me, I don’t think you’ll be “disappointing” me when I finally get you alone and tear your clothes off….Oh, BTW, I’m gonna leave my hand in your lap for now…yep….I don’t anticipate any problems….

Betty, why is your hand under the table? Is this part of that “new thing” you guys won’t let me do with you? Oh, BTW, Betty….since you apparently now love Juggie, I want you! And sorry, Juggie, we’ll still be BFFs, riiigghttt??? Even after I’m an even bigger douche to you!

Oh don’t worry, Ronnie…once I’ve broken up their very happy and almost spiritually loving connection/bond thing, I’ll be shortly bored of Betty here and dump her ass….and then you’ll get ANOTHER 7 minutes in heaven with Archiekins!!! But ya know, there’s only so much of me to go around, amirite, ladies???

Why am I interested in this ginger jackass again? And how am I not cold?

Betty, now neither of them can sit with us. And yes, that’s MY hand in YOUR lap, returning the favor…<3333333….do you like closets under stairs? Or do you think your parents might go away any time soon????

Remember when we used to be friends, Alice?

Before we started fighting over that wrinkly contractor who looks like a monkey and is dumber than one, I became a trophy wife and stole your daughter? Maybe we can fix that….

OMG!!! My bby!!! Let’s make up and have the awesomest day EVER!!! No drama, riiiigghttt???

Surprise, bitches!!! Per usual, my attire is more suited to a cocktail party and I’ve brought my twin’s spawn a baby hearse carriage, in a style out of use for over 40 years!!!

Uhhhh…..Hi Mrs. Blossom….I see you share your daughter’s inappropriate fashion sense. I’d think a fancee rich society lady would know red with black accents isn’t really “done” at baby showers…

She’s right, mother. And if I wasn’t judging someone else, I’d totally be judging you, rn—-look at how much wine our hostess needs already

Meeoooowwww!!!! HISSSSS!!!!

Oh, Polly, dear….glad to see you have the ring!!! Shall I tell you how I actually murdered Jason because A) he’s Fred’s kid, not my son’s and B) even still, no fucking way was any Blossom EVER gonna marry any Cooper….but I’m not a baby killer, so you were off the table? And too difficult to get to, anyway? Yes…..Sheriff Roscoe helped me….cause I’m the REAL Boss Hogg around here!

Ohhh….mannnnn…..I wasn’t sure about being the only dude at this super girly shit…but this is aaammaaazzinnggg….cupcakes and other snacks, cat fights to entertain, that creepy old bag outing herself as Jason’s murderer….making out with my wife in front of everyone…..soooooo happpeeeee…..

Well, here I am to show my ass and ruin the day for ya, Jughead!!!

Archie, can you NOT???? Every time my hair is down and I look super pretty, you have to go and wreck it all. We all know I love Juggie and this will only serve to bring us closer, so can you please stop interrupting us when we’re “doing stuff that people who have gone through what we have do”????

~ giffu tutorial ☆.。.:*

hello i have received many asks about gifs and how i make them and how i color things so i finally decided to go for it and make this. clicky down below if you wanna see the underwhelming magic that goes into my mediocre gifs

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so uh I haven’t touched this blog for a while but I wanted to describe the most terrifying experience of my fucking life that happened while playing Subnautica

few clarifications: I last played this game like, September 2016. IT HAS UPDATED SIGNIFICANTLY SINCE THEN. I also decided to play it on “creative mode” aka “invincible fun time mode” because I just wanted to ~have fun and explore the new stuff~, you know?

So, I haven’t kept up with the updates. The story bit of the game has bulked up significantly since I last played, and there’s much more direction now if you want it, which is nice; the icons are all cleaned up and such, a lot more stuff is textured, the cyclops can apparently be lit on fire, yada yada. I went ‘sploring and found a couple new faces, an electric eel type boy and a warp warp man. (Ultimate goal is to go up and scan a reaper but I am still???? too scared??? i literally cannot take any damage in this mode but the deep and ancient part of me that remembers being prey on the serengeti says DONT)

(subnautica is very good at VAGUE ANXIOUS ENVIRONMENTAL FEAR while also being very lovely to look at, and really grinds deep into the gray matter of Terror of the Deep, it’s very very good and I hatelove it)

anyway I started taking screenshots of the koosh zone while exploring/picking up samples for my soon-to-be-ultimate-creature-zoo, because this game can be very pretty

anyway after digging around a bit i discovered a TRENCH. i did not screenshot the trench because i did not realize i was about to have to fight for my very existence on this good earth.

did i enter the trench? of course I entered the fucking trench. there’s no crush damage in this mode and the game told me there was some sort of Big Energy Signature nearby. Down I went.

….and went. For 6000 meters. NOTHING. Except a kind of shelf at one point that I went and got under. (this minor detail is going to be crucial)

anyway at 6km i decided fuck it, i’ve held down on the s key for like 5 minutes, if i’m gonna plumb these depths i need to come back with my big boy sub. so i went back up. got to 3000 meters.

hey remember that little shelf i went under well turns out it was a ROCK CEILING 3000 METERS DEEP and i had gotten so turned around in the plumbing process that I couldnt fucking find the way out, it was all barren rock ceiling, no way back up even when i searched around and around and probably criscrossed my own path trying to map out featureless rock, i was boned as heck

OR…. WAS I….

said my own thoughts, because i happened to have in my possession a TERRAFORMER and as all good subnautica boys and girls know that thing can dig big ol holes in rock.

so… trapped 3000 meters below solid rock… i did what any sensible extrastellar refugee would do and decided to TUNNEL MY WAY BACK UP

leaving my trusty seamoth behind, i began to tunnel…. about 2000 meters through solid rock, in complete blackness, clicking frantically in the darkness, probably crying

(listen, i had some good eggs and scans in my inventory and i didn’t want to LOSE them by resetting, you gotta understand)

about 1km from the surface, i finally encounter open water!! i’ve done it!! i thought, foolishly, to myself. i brought out my seaglide and began to zoom up only to find

1. this was not open water

2. this was a cave

3. this was a giant cave filled with lava

4. subnautica has LAVA CAVES NOW???

5. the game was perhaps not totally sure about my method of getting INTO said lava cave, and didn’t seem prepared with some of the textures

by the way, IN ADDITION TO IT BEING A GIANT LAVA CAVE, there were like… structures down there?? which again I was not prepared for because I have not played this game in like 6 months?? but the textures wouldn’t load?? so I just got these really scary ominous unknown pieces of architecture that i was in no way prepared for and had no idea how they were supposed to look?? and everything was red?????

also because the textures weren’t loaded it was extremely difficult to tell what you could pass through and what you couldn’t, so i was basically ping ponging through invisible walls and wanting to cry because i tunneled 2000 meters thru solid rock and i was gonna die in badly rendered hell anyway

did i mention also, the noises

did i mention that there were a lot of VERY DISTRESSING SOUND EFFECTS IN THIS CAVE

and then, through the invisible walls, i saw the friend who was making them!!!

it’s hard to tell from this screenshot but that is a VERY. LARGE. BOY. TOO LARGE.

at this point ya boy koryos was basically like ready 2 ascend from this mortal plane. what is going on. WHAT AM I LOOKING AT. VERY DISTRESSED. ALSO WHATS THT THING IN THE CORNER

ok so i stopped trying to penetrate the invisible walls eventually and tried to burrow my way out again except APPARENTLY you cant burrow through LAVA which was STUPID anyway i was still very trapped

but i explored a bit and found……. this??

insert fuel crystal???

this mystery device bore all the hallmark of a Lazy Concept Sci Fi Warp Gate which was exciting to me because by god i was ready to be anywhere but there, in hell. but i didnt have a “fuel crystal” and it definitely wasn’t part of the game back in the center. But no problem!! This is creative mode!! I can just build a base down in hell!! A hell base!! Where I can craft anything I want!!!

so i made a base and a fabricator but uhhhhhhhhhhh there was no “fuel crystal” on the item list. so at this point it had been like an hour of desperate sweaty anxiety and i was like fuck it, i’ll console command it in, i just need…… freedom…… (without losing any of those good good scans)

anyway i looked it up and got the ~oddly pixelated crystal~, which powered up the warp

please… just take me somewhere that’s not red… that’s all i ask……

what

SO NOW IM HERE

“HERE”

THIS WASNT PART OF THE GAME IN SEPTEMBER, I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS HAPPENING AND IM STILL SCARED

anyway i believe i accidentally stumbled on some plot because i found a “control room” set to deactivate the “weapon” but a tentacle boy didn’t want to “deactivate” it because i was “““infected”““

mind you im still fucking… 69 m under the water…. 69 huh? i just noticed that in the screenshot nice

ANYWAY I WAS STILL TRAPPED LOST AND SCARED IN ALIEN HELL

anyway to make a long story short after getting lost about ten more times i FINALLY found an exit to the neon labyrinth and nearly cried when i saw my bud warp warp man outside

now that i was outside i could finally appreciate the fact that this shit was dope as hell, look at how cool that is, I LOVE MYSTICAL RUINS AND SHIT LIKE THIS

also it was connected to an island???? i thought subnautica was all about not having land???? anyway let’s just drop a beacon for later i need to get back to my fucking base and lie down to contemplate the ether for 6 hours

READY TO GO

100% SURE IM READY TO ESCAPE THIS NIGHTMARE

and so i survived the incident in which i was never in any actual peril, both in a real and virtual sense, but was still very distraught and very sweaty about, 10/10 would recommend subnautica to a friend

anyway i went on tumblr to soothe myself afterwards which was a MISTAKE because the monteray bay aquarium reminded me that there is no escape from the eldritch horrors of the ocean

THE END.

Anything But Typical

Characters: Gabriel x Reader

Summary: A few days stuck in the bunker on research duty can be very boring.  Lucky for you a certain tricky angel decides to keep you company.

Word Count:  1345 words

Prompt: She’s Every Woman by Garth Brooks. ‘Flaws’ Weight issues, Irlens, being a really fucking irritating archangel (does that one count?).

A/N: This is my offering for @little-red-83 Love Your Flaws Writing Challenge. I am currently in a big Gabriel hole so here ya go.

Originally posted by spngayngels

You couldn’t believe you had been benched.  Dean Winchester was such a self-righteous asshole but you’d thought Sam would have had your back.  Instead you were relegated to research monkey.  It was no secret that you were a major geek and could wax lyrical about several fandoms in great depth, in fact give you a laptop and you could research for days but sitting in the library with actual books… that was a different story.  It was fairly easy to hide your Irlens syndrome but without your lilac tinted glasses or even your filter there was no way you could read what was on these pages. At least you were on your own so the chances of someone walking in on you were zero.  Putting your earbuds in you blasted your music, took a large sip of coffee and slipped on your glasses to begin work.  

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docs.google.com
The Nerd Chapter 1 (Original)
Warning: Really nerdy and dorky and really gross actually, but this is the one Kiera saw (with some revisions), and this was before I read The Crown.

Since y’all are (almost) as obsessed with Gertrude as I am, here’s the first chapter of The Nerd. This is the one I gave Kiera when I met her in February, with a few revisions, because who knew you could change so much in three months? I reread it, and I’m so scared you’re gonna think it’s boring, because I feel like it’s kinda boring, but I don’t know, I’m just insecure??

I ended up writing another version today, now that I know sweet Kerrtu exists and I actually knows what happens in The Crown. 

Hope you like it!!! If you don’t and I didn’t fulfill all of your very high expectations…well…
Love ya! - T

P.S. If this post gets more than 150 notes, then I’ll post the other version. (This chapter 1 is actually going to end up being chapter 2 for the other version. Then if for some miraculous reason people want me to keep going, I’ll keep going??)

An English Teacher AU (Part One) // Kylo x Reader

Prompt: Okay am I the only one who thinks that Teacher Kylo is the hottest Kylo out there, because SAME. I wanted to do a teacher Kylo, but like different. Idk I’m really weird, but I have this vision in my head of how I want it and I’m making it happen. PS I’m thinking about changing my theme? I’m bored by my original theme on mobile, so I’m gonna change it. Input? Yas or Nah? Lmk  Author’s Note: THIS IMAGINE IS VERY LONG IT IS 8 PAGES ON MICROSOFT WORD SO PLEASE WORK WITH ME. I THINK ITS ONE OF THE BEST IMAGINES I HAVE WRITTEN YET SO HEY ENJOY. THIS WILL BE A THREE OR FOUR PART IMAGINE. PLEASE BEAR WITH ME!!!!!!!!


You really didn’t think that a bar would be this crowded at this point of the summer. It was the two days before classes started at your college and the bar was filled of people of all ages. Some young, some older- but who cares. You wanted one last night where you could party before you had to focus on your work and finish up last minute stuff. Your best friend, Meg, and you headed out with a small other group of friends to drink it up and party.

When you arrived, people were at the bar talking, others were dancing, and some were the obvious sober drivers home. “Come on, round of shots on me!” Julia, one of the other girls, tells the group as everyone cheers. As you walk to the bartender, he starts pouring out shots of tequila. “A toast! To the class of 2017!” The group cheers, knocks back their heads, and downs the clear, liquid that burns your throat.

Throughout the night, you sip on beers, mixed drinks, and of course, more tequila shots. You dance with your girls as the hours pass, not having a care in the world. Yet, as the night progressed your girlfriends found guys to leave with one by one. Soon enough, it was just you and Meg left. “Well, this is not how I predicted the night to go,” you tell Meg.

Meg turns around. “What do you mean?”

“I mean everyone finding a guy and leaving. I thought we were gonna have a girls night, ya know? Just us and absolutely no guys,” as you speak, you notice a guy come up behind Meg and wrap an arm around her waist.

“Ready to go?” the tall brute asks her as Meg flashes you a small, awkward smile.

“(Y/N), this is Tim. Tim, this is (Y/N), my best friend in the world entire world that I love so very much. I mean, she is the abs-“

You laugh at her hidden pleads. “Go, have fun. Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” you inform. She laughs, gives you a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and disappears into the night. “And then there was one,” you sigh. Sitting alone on the bar stool, you call over the bartender and ask him for a club soda. There’s no point in getting drunk anymore, not by yourself at least.

“Friends ditch you?” a strange, deep voice asks. You look over and sitting at a nearby bar stool is an extremely attractive man. He has this thick, dark hair that is rippled with waves and dark brown eyes. His features are masculine and strong. His voice was bass and it sent tingles down your spine. He carried a laid back aura as he leaned against the bar with what seems like a whisky sour, swirling in a stout glass. You laugh and nod your head. You didn’t want to get caught up in a conversation with him; you promised that you would just go home alone. “Join the club. I came here in a group and before I knew it, I was doing shots alone,” he speaks, sipping on the chilled drink.

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anonymous asked:

Cliches you're bored of in YA?

  • “i love you, but i also need/want to kill/harm/betray you… OH GOD MY FRAGILE MALE EMOTIONS I’M SO TORMENTED”
  • i am a misunderstood lonely teenage boy with great taste in music. life is against me and i’m feeling very philosophical- OH WAIT LOOK A BEAUTIFUL QUIRKY GIRL WHO MIGHT GIVE ME A BJ IF WE BECOME FRIENDS
  • i am a boy having an existential crisis. there are no girls in this book apart from the ones i’m having sex with. but i’m not enjoying the sex. i said i was having an existential crisis didn’t i?
  • i’m a perfect popular A-grade girl, my life is perfect, oh no wait everything’s going wrong, oh and here’s a boy that’s going to make me learn some lessons about love and life, everything’s perfect again
  • falling instantly in love with a boy because he’s hot
  • boys who are nasty/abusive to the protagonist but the protagonist still falls in love with them because they’re super hot (i nearly named and shamed with this one lol)
  • a love triangle involving two boys where the reader is supposed to feel sorry for both the boys
  • the words ‘mysterious’, 'cocky’, 'badboy’, or 'cute’ are used to describe the male romantic interest in the blurb
  • you know what, anything where the love interest is extremely attractive. i’m done. just so done with those.
  • boy must save dystopian world. it is his destiny. here is cool sexy fighter girl to help, she’s badass
  • girl must save dystopian world. i am protagonist because i can use weapons and fuck shit up
  • 'chosen one’
  • gay best friend
  • male romantic interest.. what secrets are they hiding!???!?!?!? what deep and horrific past are they keeping inside???!?? so much pain so much inner secretive pain poor poor male
  • romantic interest has mental illness. don’t worry ima cure you with my love
  • “star-crossed”
  • boy next door. girl next door. why are all the romantic interests always next door
  • we meet once and reunite a year later to find that we fucking love each other even though i literally only knew you for a day. who cares because SOUL MATES
  • BOY TURNS UP TO SOLVE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS
  • summer romance. beach romance. holiday romance. anything involving too much sun (ew)
  • very sad book with death because YOU MUST CRY. YOU MUST CRY OR WHAT’S THE POINT OF ME WRITING THIS BOOK. DYING DYING DOOMED ROMANCE ARE YOU CRYING YET?
  • road trip. god i’m fucking tired of road trip novels.

well this was fun yeah buy my book and stuff

disclaimer// these are my personal tastes, there’s nothing wrong with reading any of these, i don’t give a shit what other people read, i just don’t like them anymore