i am too dumb to do it

hey yall. i just realized something.

this is probably gonna be long but whatever. stick with me.

soooo im currently rereading the original pjo series. and i am feeling. so many. things. i realized a lot of things too.

okayyy so in PJO, we view percy as reckless. stupid. always acting on impulse. basically that dumb guy that never thinks befire doing things. BUT in HOO, we start viewing him as mature and smart and strategic and all that. But he didnt grow THAT much. Percy didnt age that much in hoo.

Remember that iconic scene (Mark of Athena, i think?) where they meet some kind of monster/bad ppl (im too lazy to search it up) aboard the argo II and it was percy that thought of saying that Dionysus was with them? Percy knew about their fear of dionysus, and how he turned them inti dolphins. So he got some diet coke as “proof” that he was there and asked frank to turn into a dolphin. Genius, right?

Annabeth called him smart after that.

That was the only time we considered him smart. (Well not ONLY, just one of the few times.) But guess what? He’s been doing smart shit like that for years already.

I cant really mention all of the times he did something smart/wise. If i did it would take me days before i finish typing.

So i realized why we only thought he was smart in hoo but not in pjo.

In PJO, it was in first person, so we saw everything through the eyes of percy. In this series, he only focused about how stupid he was, about how great other people were and how better they are then him. But he doesnt focus about all the good/smart/wise things he’s done. Percy doesnt know that he’s smart. All he knows is that he is stupid, worthless, and all other negative things.

in HOO, however, we were reading from another person’s point of view. We saw percy from another person’s eyes. We noticed things that he doesnt notice himself.

Hazel called him a god, once, because he was just THAT attractive. Everyone else looked up to him, and thinks he’s the most powerful/strongest person to exist.

But Percy doesnt know that. All he knows is that he’s stupid.

SOOOO, long story short, Percy hates himself.

Ok bye sorry if this was long I just love Percy so much and i a m f e e l i n g s o m U C h

the boy who stole sweaters

| x | x | x |

No Kissing In Front Of Me *Steve Harrington x Reader*

Originally posted by wlntrfell

Requested by Anon: Steve Harrington x Reader where you’re Dustin’s older sister and Dustin has Steve over to babysit him bc Reader is supposed to be out on a date but she comes home like halfway through with like super ready eyes and tells them she found out he’s cheating on her because he stood her up to go with the other girl or something
Pairings: Dustin Henderson x Sibling! Reader & Billy Hargrove x Reader (Mentioned briefly) & Steve Harrington x Reader
Word Count: 
A/N: I couldn’t be bothered to make up a name for the reader to possibly be on a date with. Billy is someone that comes across as a cheating, maybe not taking the relationship with reader seriously, type. - Rosalie



“Why are you even going out with that jackass?” Dustin asked, watching you through the vanity mirror reflection as you got ready for your date. You muttered a soft ‘language’ to your little brother who just scoffed. “You can date anyone, literally, ANYBODY! But you go out, willingly, with Billy Hargrove?”

You sighed gently as you finished with your make up. You had been going out on a few dates with the new guy, well he wasn’t new anymore, he and his sister had been here for a few months. You didn’t really get why Dustin and his party hated him, he was kind of an asshole but so was everyone else in this town. Dustin always said, ‘There are just things that I know that you don’t, I don’t trust him’. You liked he was looking out for you but you’re the older sibling, it should be the other way round.

“Why do you hate him so much? Enough with the bullshit, what happened to make you hate him?” Dustin shrugged, shoulders slumped and eyes cast to his hands as he toyed with your comforter on your bed. “I’m going on that date, Dustin. Whatever you think of him isn’t true, he’s been nothin’ but nice to me. He doesn’t pressure me for anythin’ and he’s really sweet too. Tell me what happened and I won’t go on that date, if you tell me what happened with Billy I’ll call him off.”

Before Dustin can even open his mouth the doorbell chimes, you raise your eyebrows but Dustin sighs. You both stand up, you’re dressed in a pale pink dress with a denim jacket thrown on. Dustin opens the door, revealing Steve Harrington, his babysitter for the night, plus a new founded best friend. It was cute, how both he and Steve had a brotherly bond. They looked out for one another, it made you smile to see Dustin finally have someone to look up to, admire and Steve was someone that you trusted to lead your brother in a good direction.

You smiled as Steve looked at you. “Wow, Y/N, you look… wow.” He compliments, at loss for words and it brings a slight blush upon your cheeks as you roll your eyes at him.

“Okay, I’ll see you both in a few hours. Don’t miss me too much,” You grin waving bye at both of them and walking out of the door.

*Steve’s P.O.V kinda*

Steve stared at the door as it closed softly, watching you leave to go on a date with Billy Hargrove always rubbed him the wrong way. Knowing that someone as kind, sweet and genuinely good was hanging around with the asshole Billy, made Steve feel sick to his stomach. His blood boiled at the thought of it, it left a funny after taste in Steve’s mouth whenever you talked about your dates with Billy.

“Steve!” Dustin’s voice pulled Steve from his mind and he looked at the shithead and shrugged his shoulders in response. “Jealousy back again?”

Steve rolled his eyes and sat down, Dustin had got into his pea-sized brain that Steve was jealous. Jealous that Billy got to date you and not him, which was ridiculous. Steve Harrington doesn’t get jealous, he doesn’t even know why he’d be jealous. It’s just you. Dustin’s older sister. Who was sweet, kind and beautiful, who had this thing where if she laughs too hard she hiccups?

“I’m not jealous of Billy Hargrove,” Steve states, turning the TV on and looking at the VHS movies that Dustin had picked to watch tonight. “What do I have to be jealous about?”

Dustin rolled his eyes, sitting down also. “Are you pretending to be dumb or are you actually this stupid all of the time?” That receives a stern glare from Harrington, “I know she’s my sister but I am told constantly that she’s beautiful, plus she has to be somewhat good looking because ” Dustin gestures to his smiling face and Steve tries not to chuckle at that. “It’s okay if you like-like her, better you than Billy.”

Steve puts in the movie and that leaves him to think over what Dustin has said. He glances at Dustin who is consumed by the movie, mouth slightly agape as he fully zoned in on the SyFy movie. Steve had grown accustomed to life with the kids, looking after the little shits was now just second nature to him. You were sort of a package deal, you didn’t know about any of the events with the upside down world but you managed to still be part of their lives. You were sort of an innocence that everyone loved, you knew something has happened but you preferred to not know.

It’s for the better that way. Steve liked that you weren’t carrying any of the weight, that you managed to still be a supportive person but in a way that was different for everyone. It was hard to keep that life away from you, it’s partly why he hates you are dating Billy. If you knew what had happened, you wouldn’t be dating him but he had made a promise. To the boys, to Eleven, to Hopper and Joyce to not tell.

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I dated Y/N?” Steve asked, eyes trained on the TV. “I know she’s dating Billy but if that didn’t work out-”

“Steve, you have my permission to date my sister. No kissing in front of me, that’s all I ask.” Steve smiles slightly and both go back to watching the movie, halfway in when the front door crashes open. “Son-of-a-bitch!” Dustin yells, turning his head to see his sister standing in the doorway, he holds his hand over his heart.

It takes both boys a few seconds to realise you’re crying. Eyes red, small sobs escaping your lips and you throw your purse to the floor and pull off your shoes, running past them towards your room ignoring their yells of your name. Steve looks at Dustin who is just as shocked as he is by your outburst.

“You don’t think Billy…” Dustin trails off, instantly Steve is to his feet and Dustin follows him down the short hall to your door where Steve knocks on the door. “Y/N, we’re coming in!” Dustin yells, knowing you never lock your door anyway.

Steve opens the door silently and both peak in. Your laying on your bed, hair a mess of curls and crying into a pillow. Dustin walks passed Steve, sitting down beside your head and petting your hair softly, trying to comfort you silently. Steve awkwardly sits down, placing a hand on the small of your back and rubbing comforting circles. They wait till your sobs had quieted down, listening to cry was one of the worst things Steve has endured. Yeah, he’s had to fight demogorgons but this was another level.

“Y/N, what happened?” Steve asked and you lifted your head, hair sticking your tear stained cheeks that are red and blotchy. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, anger swept through them but also sadness. “Did Billy… do something… like-”

“No.” You shake your head, fresh tears welling in your eyes. “He turned up with another girl, with Stacy. He’s been seeing her behind my back, cause I wasn’t putting out.” Dustin’s face flashed with anger. “I’m such a stupid shit head!” You groaned, accepting the hug from your little brother and Steve scoffed, causing both Henderson siblings to look at him.

Steve shakes his head. “Billy is the shithead. You deserve better than him, got it? A guy like that isn’t worth your tears, you’re too good for him. If he can’t keep it in his pants that’s his fault, not yours.” You raised your eyebrows at Steve, who crossed his arms and glared at the wall opposite him. “I should punch him in the face again for doing that to you.”

“Again?” You asked slightly amused that he had even punched Billy for the first time. Dustin looks wide-eyed at Steve who does the same, you sighed. “Need to know, right?” They nod and smiled slightly. “Thank you, both of you for being here. I think I’m going to call it a night.” They nod, Dustin gets up and leaves the room first but Steve hesitates, making you look at him slightly confused.

He shuffles slightly nervously. “Y/N… have a good sleep.” Steve sighs before leaving your room, kicking himself for not saying anything to you about his true feelings.

*

It had been almost a week since that godawful date with Billy. You tried to keep yourself occupied, extra schoolwork and hanging out with Nancy. The humiliation of that day was what hurt you the most, Billy had let you believe the date was still on, he didn’t cancel or say anything about what was happening with Stacy. He let you walk in, alone and see him with another girl like he planned it or something.

Walking down the street towards your house you hear arguing. Well, more of bickering between two people. You glance up to see Steve and Dustin in the driveway of your home, Dustin was meant to be at Mike’s studying and Steve, well he was meant to be off being Steve somewhere else- having a day off from being the kid’s mom. You frown as you walk closer, Steve is holding roses and Dustin has his radio headset on, seemingly talking over it whilst simultaneously walking to Steve.

“What’s going on?” You asked walking closer, Dustin jumps slightly and turns to you with a nervous smile. “I thought you were going to Mike’s tonight?” You asked with a slight frown at his reaction.

It’s a solid minute before anyone speaks up. “I’m helping Steve… he’s got a date.” You nod slowly and glance at Steve, who is nervously stood holding the roses and smiling awkwardly. A pang of something shoots through your chest, whoever he was taking on a date was a lucky girl.

“Oh.” Is all you can manage, “Well, have fun and don’t take all of my brother’s advice.” You try to chuckle and smile but it sounds forced, you go to walk around them and inside the house, to cry to your mother but you’re stopped by someone tugging on your wrist.

You frown up at Steve. “Y/N, I need to tell you something.” You nod and turn back towards Steve, waiting for whatever he needs to say, he stares at you for a moment. “Fuck it!”

Before you can process what is happening his lips are on yours, his hands holding your shoulders and the roses fall to the floor beside your feet. You instantly respond, melting into the kiss that’s unlike anything you’ve ever had. You feel Steve smile against your lips, wrapping his arms around your waist as yours rest against his neck.

“GROSS!” You pull apart and look at Dustin, who is horrified. “I said no kissing in front of me, that was the only rule. You asshole.” he picks up his bike, muttering curse words and names at Steve, “one fucking rule, can even follow that. I do everything to help this guy, this is how he repays me.”

Steve purses his lips and holds back the chuckle. “Thank you, shithead,” Steve calls, Dustin turns and flips him off before riding off down the street to Mikes. “It was worth breaking that one rule.” Steve shrugged at you, you chuckled lightly nudging him, he bends down and picks up the roses again. “Prepare to go on the best date of your life.” He challenges, pulling you by your hand towards his car.

“Is this the first time you’ve hung out with someone your own age in a while?” You smirk as Steve blinks at you, mock offence. “How will they survive without you?”

Steve rolled his eyes, opening your door before walking around to his side and starting the engine to the car. It’s silent as he begins to drive off towards your date destination, “I do need to stop in to make sure they all get home okay.” He mutters causing you to chuckle at him, he sighs and chuckles along with you.

(Decided to end it funny. Hopefully, whoever requested this likes it. I had fun writing it, I like the whole Dustin’s sister thing, I like writing the reader as one of the kids sibling. - Rosalie)

I wish that the stylization in this game let us see the difference in the characters body types more. Here’s a doodle of da boyz and how I like to see them.

-Our precious noodle boy protag. What’s not to love, he is exactly as noodly as the character model looks.

-Yusuke also noodle boy. So tall, so skinny. The most accurate starving artist physique (emphasis on starving)

-Ryuji precious boy. You’re supposed to be a runner but you are all guns and no legs. What are you doing child

-I am convinced that Goro is kind of huge under the cute face and preppy clothes. He cant be in any of the bath or beach scenes because he is too intimidating without a shirt on. Cyclist legs

don’t ask me how or why i thought of this but  imagine Optimus Prime sitting in truck mode, with Agent Fowler, observing various humans and Fowler can see that Optimus is scanning some of them and making the odd “Hmmm” noise… finally Fowler is like “what is it Optimus?” and Optimus says “I am trying to determine which people are lying and which ones are telling the truth.”  Fowler, confused, says “Well I dunno scan their heart rate or something?” and Optimus says “No, Agent Fowler, I am observing their hip motions… I have heard that hips do not lie, but surely some hips do lie?” except Agent Fowler can’t reply because he’s too busy choking on his drink

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  if i’m ever murdered i hope they make the chalk outline of my body hot  ’
‘  i hope you end up ok  ’
‘  i’m crying my best  ’
‘  how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit  ’
‘  some kid just skateboarded down my street crying  ’
‘  do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know.  ’
‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’
‘  which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite: burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney, or lucky by britney spears?  ’
‘  you know my name… and also my story cause i overshare 24/7 tbh  ’
‘  @ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened  ’
‘  there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch  ’
‘  after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death  ’
‘  why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable  ’
‘  hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon  ’
‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’
‘  what the fuck is a good day  ’
‘  sleeping pattern: ??¿?¿??¿¿¿?¿  ’
‘  is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?  ’
‘  does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating  ’
‘  i’m not like most girls [rips off sunglasses]… i like most girls  ’
‘  time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day  ’
‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’
‘  u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy  ’
‘  i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented  ’
‘  just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe  ’
‘  you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always  ’
‘  come into bed and listen to the rain with me  ’
‘  i hope all my girls out here r safe n being loved  ’
‘  people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel,   ’
‘  i want to have angel wings and be kinder, braver and more tender  ’
‘  concept: a really nice italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that  ’
‘  i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly  ’
‘  does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it  ’
‘  “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better  ’
‘  i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it  ’
‘  i’m alive out of spite  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up  ’
‘  a bad person? who, me? that would be correct,  ’
‘  you hate me? wow u think ur hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so u can go grab a number and wait ur turn  ’
‘  my heart does a little “!” when I see you  ’
‘  i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit  ’
‘  i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn  ’
‘  still got love for some people i know i’ll never talk to again.  ’
‘  my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY  ’
‘  y’all i get attached to people so quickly wth  ’
‘  i wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them  ’
‘  for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada  ’
‘  it’s weird to think that people who are 5 ft are only 5 subways long ’
‘  in alcohol’s defense i’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too  ’
‘  man this has been the worst life of my life  ’
‘  having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch  ’
‘  I Have To Be Dramatic. I Have To  ’
‘  forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember  ’
‘  “you’re obsessed with yourself” and you’re not??? sad. tragic  ’
‘  are people becoming more annoying or am i becoming more angry  ’
‘  do my dark under eye circles and unwashed hair turn you on  ’
‘  KIDS REACT TO existentialism and the inevitability of death  ’
‘  remember to do your best to be positive with a clear mind and believe in aliens because those motherfuckers are real  ’
‘  personality: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK  ’
‘  my gender is “pretty boy”  ’
‘  what others call a rebellious phase i call the sudden realization i don’t deserve to be treated like garbage  ’
‘  what is a sex drive? where is the sex going? does it even have a license?  ’
‘  i don’t want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening  ’
‘  i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual  ’
‘  do re me fa so done with you  ’
‘  ctrl alt delete feelings cause i can’t do this shit no more  ’
‘  i may seem like an asshole, but deep down i’m a good person and even deeper down i’m a bigger asshole  ’
‘  should i go back to school tomorrow or should i fling myself into the ocean  ’
‘  am i too judgemental or is everyone annoying: an autobiography by me  ’
‘  are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch  ’
‘  i love drunk me but i don’t trust her  ’
‘  has anyones crush ever actually worked out for them or is that a myth?  ’
‘  i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5′3″ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy  ’
‘  if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly i’d have 0 dollars bitch u thought lmao  ’
‘  my last words will probably be sarcastic  ’
‘  i used to be a straight a student. now i’m not even straight  ’
‘  ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened  ’
‘  single and ready to find aliens  ’
‘  it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful  ’
‘  i want to make friends but at the same time no  ’
‘  there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me, it’s called the throne  ’
‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’
‘  i’m glad dogs can’t read the ‘no dogs allowed’ signs so they don’t feel sad and feel left out  ’
‘  we’re all better and gayer people than we used to be  ’
‘  every time i speak i am reminded why i should not  ’
‘  every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’
‘  the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved  ’
‘  i’m like a hexagon: all my hecks r gone  ’
‘  we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’
‘  my kink: not having to set an alarm for the next morning  ’
‘  on the bright side, at least i am not addicted to cocaine  ’
‘  they called me stupid?? well joke’s on them i don’t even know what that means  ’
‘  i might get a lot of shit for saying this but i think it’s fun to enjoy things  ’
‘  i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know  ’
‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student id number  ’
‘  there she goes again, being over dramatic and by she, i mean me  ’
‘  if u don’t know how to respond to something just say ‘how dare you’  ’
‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’
‘  so sick of looking at my purse and not seeing $20,000  ’
‘  literally want to be rich for the clothes  ’
‘  me??? upset???? yes constantly  ’
‘  a good gender neutral term to use is ‘fool’  ’
‘  today’s schedule: suffer  ’
‘  my middle name is actually $$  ’
‘  don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake  ’
‘  i want someone who will light a fire in me  ’
‘  i want someone who will light me on fire  ’
‘  i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go thru  ’
‘  who needs therapy when you can Realize™ things about yourself alone at 1 am  ’
‘  why is there so much blood in my alcohol system  ’
‘  no offense but i am a blessing to this earth  ’
‘  haha oops i care about you  ’
‘  they call me calcium because i give everyone strong bones  ’
‘  do you have that one person that you can’t look at when you’re trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute??  ’
‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’
‘  one day i’m gonna say ‘fight me!’ and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me  ’
‘  me? a jealous hoe? absolutely  ’
‘  it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point  ’
‘  i think i may be gayer than i originally planned  ’
‘  i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry  ’
‘  me? overreacting? shit probably  ’
‘  i would like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing  ’
‘  is there a scholarship for trying  ’
‘  me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??????? what?????  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’
‘  i require a lot of attention or you get a lot of attitude  ’
‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and it’s the only one i have  ’
‘  you’re important to me, you piece of shit  ’

So, this is part 1 of my Valentine’s day gift to @dustflwr (Shout out to her for the awesome preview)

So, I took these amazing shoes by @madlensims and made them maxis match for my love Ashley. I have another one I am working on for her too. I was going to have it done today, but I sort of deleted the pds file because I’m dumb sometimes. Anyway.. these come in 21 colors, 5 two-tone colors. Custom thumbnail. If you have both mine and Madlens shoes in game my thumbnail will get wonky. Just a heads up. Clear your cache after you delete Madlens, if you do. 

Download here

It’s crazy. You’re raised to believe that when you meet “the one” you’re supposed to feel nervous, uncomfortable, anxious. But I met you, and everything felt right. I wasn’t scared because for whatever reason I knew I could trust you. I knew I could be myself with you. Since day one. I knew I could laugh like a fucking seal, that I could sing like no one was listening even though you were right next to me. I could say the weirdest shit with my delirious 3 am thoughts and you would giggle and agree. Or you’d make fun of me. But even then when you’re laughing at me I don’t feel vulnerable, because you do dumb shit too and I love it. I love that we can just be us.
That’s how it should feel. That’s how it should always feel.
—  Morning thoughts when you’re in my bed.

To the people who think pride month is for ~every identity~ like asexual, trans, nonbinary, honestly fuck you.

Fuck you for ruining gay pride. We can’t fucking have ANYTHING without yous reminding everyone “oh but don’t forget!!! my panromantic demisexual nonbinary ass needs validation too, not just the gays uwu”. PRIDE MONTH ISN’T FOR YOU.

You all hate the living shit out of exclusively same sex attracted people, the GAY people who fought for gay rights and made pride month possible. You’ll call them transphobes and tell them to die. You’re fucking clueless, arrogant idiots. PRIDE MONTH IS FOR GAY PEOPLE. No, not lesbians who like dick or males who call themselves “trans lesbians”, no, not for some straight person who thinks they’re special for not fucking, no, not for some “trans” kid glorifying a medical condition, IT’S FOR EXCLUSIVELY SAME SEX ATTRACTED PEOPLE. The people you demonise and hate the shit out of. You stole pride month from us and made it about your meaningless fucking identities which only serve to make you feel special.

I know none of you will listen. You’re too busy making your shitty meaningless pride flags and hating gay people. But I am so pissed at the amount of posts I’ve seen which are like “don’t forget!!!! uwu pride month is for EVERYONE who wants to be part of it!!!! even straight people who want to be special!!! uwu” written by some dumb pansexual kid with a pink undercut.

EDIT: I’m sorry for completely ignoring bi people in my original post. I do believe bi people have every right to celebrate their same sex attraction alongside gay people. Of course your social status will be affected in different ways depending on whether you are in a het or gay relationship, but your same sex attraction is still something you’re welcome to celebrate.

anonymous asked:

obsessive tom where he literally follows hermione everywhere and one day hermione has had enough so they literally play hide and seek 24/7 ????? Your tomione fics are the best!

(i want to write but im too jetlagged to focus on school days so here i am writing this)

(baby tomione. like four year olds)

Hermione loved preschool.

From the very first day her mother took her to the shops to get her brand new red backpack and filled it with her favorite stories and toys she had already decided that preschool was where she was destined to be. When she walked in those doors she saw bookshelves filled with books, toys everywhere she could see, and her teacher was kind and smart and lovely–

It was perfect.

All except…one thing.

There was a boy there. His name was Tom, he had dark hair and pale skin like snow white in her storybook, but he lacked the niceties of the princess in the story. He was rather strange, and he had very very dark eyes that were always fixed on her. 

Always.

She didn’t like him. Mostly because he called all her books baby books and they were not baby books, just because she liked books with pictures, that didn’t make her a baby, she couldn’t read the other books yet and her books were just fine. He also hated fun. And he said mean things all the time. And he insulted her cat when she brought a picture of him to show-and-tell.

And she hated him.

“Hermione.” He greeted when she walked in to her third day of preschool. She reached out and gripped the fabric of her mum’s trousers with her tiny fingers. Her mom was tying her hair up into a bun on her head before she left for the day.

“Who is this?” Her mother asked kindly. Hermione scowled. “One of your friends?”

“No.” Hermione spat.

Tom narrowed her eyes. She narrowed hers back.

“Hermione,” Her mother chided her, “Be nice.”

“Why?” She demanded, “Tom’s not nice.”

“I’m nice.” Tom said. She thinks he was supposed to be joking. His face did this funny thing where his weren’t pinched at the center and his mouth looked more relaxed almost like a smile but not quite. 

“No you’re not.” She told him.

“Yes I am.”

“No.” She said firmly, trying to mimic her mother’s voice when she gets cross, “You are not.”

“Yes I am–”

“No!” Hermione stomped her foot. “You are very not nice!”

“Hermione!” Her mother scolded, squatting down so she could look Hermione in the eye. She briefly turned to Tom with a tight smile, “Tom, why don’t you go play while I speak to Hermione.”

“I’ll stay here.” He said.

Her mother blinked, paused, opened her moth as if to insist and then pursed her lips and turned back to Hermione. “Hermione.” She said sternly, “I want you to go play with this nice boy.”

“Mummy!”

“No.” She said, “Don’t be rude. Go play with him.”

She took her backpack off and hung it up and left. Hermione glowered at Tom for about thirty seconds before pointedly ignoring him and marching toward the book shelf. 

A blonde boy named Draco had the hungry hungry caterpillar held in his hands, but when she stopped beside him to ask if she could use it when he was done, he rudely said no, so she huffed and–still ignoring Tom trailing behind her like a shadow–pulled a pretty green book from she shelf that she hadn’t read.

When she she sat down on the rug to read, she looked up and saw Tom snatch the book from Draco’s hands and push him to the ground. Draco immediately started crying, which Tom ignored as he stalked toward Hermione and sat beside her, offering the book to her.

Hermione gaped. Tom frowned and pointedly looked down at the book he was offering her.

But she didn’t really like Draco, so she didn’t say anything and just traded him books.

This didn’t mean she liked him sitting by her though, so she stood up and walked toward the tables and chairs to sit there. 

But he followed her. And then he followed her to every place she moved in the classroom. And then the teacher got toys out for the to play with and he followed her to all of the toys. And then they went out to recess and he followed her down the slide, and up the hill, and in the play house, and everywhere she went.

She tried to tell the teacher, but she just said ‘he just wanted to play with you, let him play’ and that was not an answer Hermione was satisfied with, not at all, so she just started running. 

She ran around the playground until she was sweaty and gasping for air and he was still right behind her, and then she ran some more until the teacher had to heard all the children back inside for snack time, then Hermione moved chairs four times before the teacher finally snapped at her to stay still, and still he was right there, he didn’t even say anything, he was just there always.

Hermione had enough.

Hermione hid in the cabinet in the play kitchen.

Mrs. Granger arrived to pick up her daughter after work and was greeted with the most terrified face she had ever seen on a teacher in her life.

“Hello…” She greeted warily, looking around the room at all of the children playing. 

“Mrs. Granger!” The teacher practically squeaked. “I um…you are here to pick up Hermione?”

“Yes,” She said, “Is everything okay?” She looked around, “Where is she?”

“Um.” The teacher hesitated. “We…don’t know.”

“…What?”

Tom had been searching the room for an hour.

He wouldn’t have obeyed the teacher when they asked him to go potty if he had known when he came out that Hermione would have just disappeared. He tried to ask the teacher about it, but they just got this panicked look on their face and started moving around the room very quickly, so Tom had to search by himself in all of the toy buckets and under every table to find her.

Honestly. He got in trouble for pushing Malfoy today for her and she was hiding from him? If she would just pay attention, she would see that they would make excellent friends. They weren’t like the other children, they didn’t cry every five minutes or toddle around in diapers or smash toys on other children’s heads for no reason at all. 

She was wonderful.

And extremely rude.

He checked in the empty LEGO box for the third time before trying to walk toward the part of the room that was ‘off limits’ for the moment, the part of the room that had the big play kitchen and the pretend vacuum cleaner and all of the other big toys, but the teacher intervened last minute by ushering him in the other direction.

That must be where she was, he thought. She snuck away while he was trapped in the potty on the teacher’s orders–and honestly, he knew when he needed to go, they didn’t need to order him to go every two hours like a child–and now she was hiding in there from him.

She was so smart.

It took another half hour for him to finally have the chance to sneak in, when Hermione’s mother arrived–he liked her, she understood that Hermione should be his friend even if Hermione didn’t understand it herself–and began angrily speaking to the teacher in hushed tones. He ran toward the big toys while they weren’t paying attention, checked in the play car, the tent, and finally the cabinet in the kitchen.

Where Hermione sat, crouched in the darkness, blinking up with him with wide, surprised eyes before her features flattened out into a scowl.

He took that as an invitation, and climbed in after her. 

“How did you find me?” She demanded as he shut the cabinet.

“I’m not stupid.” He informed her.

“Mum says not to use that word.”

“Do you do everything your mum says?” He asked her.

“Yes.” She said, as if it should be obvious. He raised his eyebrows.

“Well she told you to be my friend.” He reminded her, “So you should listen to her.”

“No,” She argued, shaking her head, “She told me to play with you, not be your friend, it’s different. I don’t want to be your friend. You follow me everywhere.”

“But you won’t mind if I was following you if we were friends,” He assured her, “You’d like it then.”

She frowned. “You’re not very nice.”

“I’m plenty nice.” He said. She frowned harder, “To you.” He added.

“Mum says to be nice.”

“I’m nice to you,” He said again.

“You’re mean to everyone else.” She said.

“Well,” He began, thoughtfully, “That way you can be nice like your mum says. And I can be mean for you.”

She narrowed her eyes. He hadn’t seen her do that before this morning after he did it. He wondered if she was mimicking him. “Hm.” She finally said, “How old are you?”

“I’m three.”

“You’re three?” She repeated, wide eyed. 

“I turned for last month.”

“I’m not three yet. I’m almost three.”

“I know.”

It was quiet for a moment. 

“What’s your favorite book?” She asked.

“I don’t like your baby books–”

“They are not baby books!” She was scowling again, which probably wasn’t a good sign, but he wasn’t going to lie. 

“I can bring a book for you to look at.” He told her, “You’d like it better.”

She took a moment to think about it. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

The kitchen cabinet opened then, accompanied by the teacher breathing out ‘Oh thank god’ and Hermione’s mother’s angry face.

“We’re friends now.” Hermione told them. “He can follow me if he wants.”

Whatever her mother was going to say–something angry, probably, judging by her face–was forgotten. She hesitated, then let out a long, tired sigh.

“Hermione,” She said, “Please don’t hide from your teacher.”

“Okay.”

She walked with her mother to the front of the classroom, put her red backpack on her shoulders, and turned to wave goodbye to Tom as she went. 

Draco asked Tom why he would want to be friends with someone with such ugly hair so Tom punched him in the stomach and got a time out, but it was worth it.

You know I don’t think Jack knew he liked Ashi till this exact moment

“Why am I so nervous? Oh no oh no oh god no I like her.. I am not prepared for for this!!!!”

“Shitshitshit our hands touched what do I do?!?!?!??! I should say something I should say something come on brain make words happen.”

“Oh no stop talking. I’m making it sooooooo much worse. STOP TALKING!!!”

“Well I’m sweating worse than when I fought a legit army this is great. Is there a book on this? I feel like I should have been taught something. Well so long as I don’t talk again…”

“OH GOD WHY AM I TALKING AGAIN!?!?!”

“Ok ok I can do this we spoke before right? Yes yes we definitely did. Why is this so hard now?!?”

“Is it these uuuummmmm feelings I uh mmmmm does she like me too? I don’t know if i can handle that. Oh where is that figment of my mind to tell me what to do?”

“Oh thank god someone is trying to kill us. This I know how to deal with……should that concern me?”

Do you guys want to know something completely inconsequential that just annoys my nipples clean off? Like, this is beyond nit-picking. I am picking bacteria off of nits at this point, is how overwhelmingly dumb this is, but:

There’s this one musician who always covers this one My Chemical Romance song, but he does this bit where he acts like he’s too cool to know MCR songs, and makes an audience volunteer pull up the lyrics on their phone, and he fucks them up a lot and pretends to not know the chords. Which is innocent enough and kind of funny in a vaguely mean and pretentious way, I guess, except he’s been doing it for AT LEAST EIGHT YEARS. YOU KNOW THE WORDS BY NOW, MAN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS ALMOST A DECADE OUT OF STYLE? MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE FOR LIKING MCR. THEY’RE GOOD TUNES, BRONT. PUT ON SOME RED EYESHADOW AND STOP LIVING IN FEAR.

I am turning five today,
it’s October 2003.
Mother is getting frustrated
that I am asking for so many showers today
‘I am filthy’ I say. ‘Need to be clean, Mamma, need to be clean.’
She tells me
I can’t keep having showers,
I’ll waste the water.
I tell her I am unclean,
that I need to be clean
I am too dirty,
a thick layer of grime
is accumulating on my skin.
She locks the bathroom door from the outside
and lets me cry myself to sleep
as I beg outside the door
to please have her shower me.

I’m six years old,
it’s Christmas Eve 2004.
Mother is dressing me in pyjamas because we are staying the night with Grandpa and Grandma.
Mother has left my underwear at our house,
‘It’s okay.’ She says. ‘You don’t need to wear underwear to bed.’
I begin to cry, and tell her I do not want to go to bed without underwear on.
I do not tell her-
that Grandpa touches me while the rest of the house sleeps
and not wearing underwear
will make it easier for him
to put his filthy hands on me.
Mother hits me until I stop crying and tells me to go to sleep,
or Santa will not bring me anything
for Christmas.

I am seven years old,
Grandma is drunk and
it’s Mother’s birthday.
I am staying the night with my Grandparents so
Mother can “have the night off”
I ask Grandma if I can sleep in my jeans,
‘It’s more comfy.’ I say.
‘I’m too tired to take them off.’ I say.
I do not say,
‘wearing jeans will make it hard for Grandpa to touch me in the places that bleed when he’s finished.’
Grandma says she is too tired for my games,
and forces me out of my jeans.
When she goes to bed, I stuff socks and tissues down my pants,
but he laughs as he removes them.

I am nine years old,
the doctors office smells of sanitiser
‘I just don’t understand.’ Mother says to the doctor.
‘She’s nine and she’s still wetting the bed!’
The doctor tells her
that there is a lot of things that could cause my incontinence
But Mother tells him to help her,
so he gives her stuff to spray up my nose and tells her to put me in dry nights
I will not wear them, I do not want to wear them
I am not a child,
he only wants me when I am a child.
Mother twists my arm and forces me into the dry nights
and I cry and beg and cry and beg some more
But she only tells me to shut up and puts me to bed
He has no trouble in removing the dry nights
and I still wet the bed.

I am eleven years old
blood covers the bathroom floor
along with my hair.
Mother is screaming, shaking me and yelling in my face
‘what did you do!?’ She yells.
I tell her I cut my hair,
as well as some skin
because I feel ugly inside,
and I want people to see it on the outside, too.
She cleans me up as best she can
and cries a little too.
She can’t believe what I’ve done,
I tell her it’s okay
skin heals and hair grow back
I do not tell her
that I wished I was born a boy,
because if I had been, he’d never has put his hands on me.

I am thirteen years old,
and I flirt with my Dad’s friends,
and they flirt with me too.
Mother calls me a slut
and Dad stops having friends over.
Mother asks what I think I’m doing
and I do my best at playing dumb and say
I don’t know what you mean.’
But I know that I am acting like a real whore,
because that’s all I have ever been.
That’s all I know to be.
I was his whore and now I am my brother’s whore.
The only boys, who seem to like me,
are older than me
and want to only stick their dicks between my legs.

I am fifteen years old;
I am throwing up in the hallway.
I have had too much to drink, and I pass out in my vomit.
Mother is furious with me
she begins to punch and swear and spit
and wants to know why I drank my weight in alcohol
I tell her to leave me alone,
I want her to go
I do not tell her
that he put his hands on me again
and I am trying to cleanse myself of
the parts of him I swallowed.

I am seventeen,
It is 2016 and
I am lying on the bathroom floor,
its become hard to breathe
and I am trying to count how many pills I have taken.
I can’t quite focus,
but I manage to vomit into the tub,
I wonder if I’m going to die.
I am not scared and I do not cry,
I’ve been playing dead all my life,
so why stop now?
Grandma is banging on the bathroom door,
asking if I’m alright.
my only response is to heave into the tub
and choke on my own vomit.
When the ambulance arrives
and they ask if this was a suicide attempt
i tell them it was an accidental overdose.
I do not tell them that I am sad
that it did not work.

I am eighteen years old,
my new therapist is missing two front teeth
and she asks me
if I am angry that no one helped me.
I tell her that I am disappointed that no one tried to help,
the signs were all there.
I was beaten into silence,
scared  into the void
and I was abandoned within myself.
I tell her that
nobody bothered to take care of me,
I had to learn to take care of myself.
I was a child on fire and
everyone around me drank the water meant for my flames
and let me burn out.

—  The Ignorance of Family -Childembryo
The Not-So-Glamorous Side of Being an Angel

-eating way to much or not enough because you really can’t tell how much this body needs
-a l w a y s t h i r s t y
-“what do you mean I have to wash the vessel AGAIN I just did that 36 hours ago”
-never really adjusting to having to use the bathroom regularly
-saying something that only divines/angels would understand around your human friends and they don’t get it and it makes things awkward
-“should I tell this friend who I really am I mean we’ve been friends for like 10 years and we trust each other with our lives but STILL”
-seeing fictional angels being depicted or described completely inaccurately and getting unreasonably frustrated
-being super clumsy because you can’t quite get the hang of piloting this dumb human body
-lying awake at 3am because you just feel so lonely and empty inside
-“what if my brain is just making all this up and fabricating memories because I subconsciously want to be Different and Special”
-being afraid to have children because you’ve heard nephilim described as “abominations” and you fear you won’t be able to protect them
-running into someone irl and just KNOWING they’re Angelic too and “omg do they realize I am too do they even realize /they/ are wHAT IF THEY KNOW ME”
-being Fallen and wondering if you actually are the bad guy of your story
-having a disability or chronic illness and wondering if it’s because your vessel can’t handle your powerful soul

Just…being an angel isn’t all fun and games.

good things about episode 67:

- KRAVITZ MY SWEET BOY HE’S BACK AND HE’S OKAY
- “the world is ending and. I. DON’T. CARE. “ just the hurt in justin’s voice.. damn
- taako going from the “the dumb wizard who’s too dumb to do anything” to “the dopest fucking wizard ever” with an intelligence of 20 
- magnus riding an evil rhino
- “my dear ango”
- carey and killian fighting together
- merle sick ass stunt that left him at 9 HP
- magnus leading the rhino through taako’s firewall
- ANGUS USING THE UMBRA STAFF 
LUP CASTING A FIREBALL THROUGH ANGUS OMGOMGOMG
- TAAKO BREAKING THE UMBRA STAFF

- LUP!!! LUP!!! LUP IS BACK!!! LUP!!! LUP!!! LUP IS FINALLY BACK!!! 

OMG LUP I’M CRYING OMG I KNEW THIS WAS COMING BUT WHAT THE FUCK GRIFFIN SO GOOD 

- i am so happy lup is back!!!!!!- “you’re dating the grim reaper?!?!?!?!”. those are lup’s first words bc OF COURSE THEY ARE
- lucretia saving davenport
- “NO. NO. NO. NO.” same magnus
- the judges are back… shiiiit
- “magnus keep hitting stuff and merle… don’t beef it”
- john’s back???? i sure hope merle’s been practicing chess
- fucking magnus and fischer and the baby voidfish FUCK
- johann was worthy (eggbabe was worthy)
- the day of story and song
- the finale is going to end me. for sure. no doubts. 

Monsta X Reaction to: Realizing They Love You Back

Anon: Hi! :D Can I ask for a Monsta X reaction when they realise that they are in love?(the girl already told them)


Shownu: It will hit him when you’re with the boys. He watches as you feed Minhyuk with your own spoon and wipe away the crumbs. He watches you fix Minhyuk’s hair and ask the boys how their day was going. He finds himself thinking about a future with you, with you doing such acts for your own kids, and that’s when he knows that he’s in love.

Originally posted by trainingpanda

Wonho: He finally realizes he’s in love when you’re both fooling around, in tracksuits and bare faces and messy hair. Neither of you are exactly glamorous but something about the casual, natural moment makes him realize ‘I’m in love. I love this person and they love me.’

Originally posted by kihqun

Minhyuk: Will realize he’s in love when you bring him food. You’ve visited the boys plenty of times before, bringing food and snacks and drinks. He’s not sure why this time is different. But it is, it’s so different. Because this is the day he realizes he’s in love, as he fills his belly with beef.

He can’t keep this realization to himself anymore. “Babe, I want to tell you that I lo - “

He’s suddenly pushed aside by Jooheon, who’s rushing for the last lamb skewer.

“N - never mind, I’ll tell you later.”

Originally posted by kihqun

Kihyun: He realizes he loves you too during a photo shoot. He had been missing you all day and the necklace the photographer is wearing reminds him of you which makes him longing grow stronger. The more he can’t get you out of his head, the more he tries to figure out why.

‘Unless .. Unless I’m in love. Am I?’

But he already knows the answer to that question.

Originally posted by kihqun

Hyungwon: The boys are teasing him about his love of sleep. As they’re playfully asking “Don’t you love anything more than sleep?” his mind flashes to you and he realizes ‘Wait, am I .. in love?’

Originally posted by babywoon

Jooheon: It’s when you’re cuddling and eating snacks, that he realizes he loves you back. He felt he wasn’t ready to return the sentiment when you confessed but as he eats the snacks you made him, and as you lovingly stroke his hair; he knows he loves you too.

Originally posted by chiqkihyun

I.M: The fact that he loves you too hits him as you’re both doing something dumb. You’re twerking and he’s dabbing with some Rihanna blaring in the background. And he suddenly realizes he’s in love and he starts to smile fondly.

‘How did I fall for such a dork?’ he thinks.

Originally posted by kkngie

Hide and Seek


Tony wasn’t too sure how they managed to get on to the topic. 


Actually- scratch that- yes he was. It was Clint. All bad things in the world happened because of Clint. 

Probably.

Anyway- Clint had been talking about his years in the circus, and how they’d taught him all sorts of weird ways to contort your body for the extra showmanship. “Made for some pretty awesome games of hide and seek, though,” he’d said, nodding serenely to himself as he’d sipped from his coffee.

“I bet I’d still find you in under an hour,” Natasha had challenged, raising a daring eyebrow up at him before turning back to the morning paper.

Clint scoffed, turning to Steve, who was stood cooking eggs on the stove. “Cap, you can vouch for me here, right? I am the master at hide and seek. No one beats me at hide and seek.”

And Steve had laughed- a lovely throaty thing that made Tony smile just from hearing it. “Uhhh, I don’t know? It depends on a lot of variables. If it were in a park, maybe- but here? Tony would beat you hands-down. He knows every nook and cranny of this tower, you wouldn’t stand a chance.”


And then- here had come Tony’s fatal mistake of the day. Later, he’d pin it on lack of caffeine in his system and the early hour at which he was conscious- but really, he was just an idiot who’d forgotten how offended his teammates could (and did) get on his behalf.


“Actually, I’ve never played. Although I could still probably beat Barton.”

(Read more, mobile users! Finish it on your laptop or PC if you can’t on mobile!)

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love me like i’m brand new

summary: in which el and max have a sleepover the summer before their senior year, and el has some flashbacks to her life with mike (so far). based off of call it what you want by taylor swift! 

rating: t (there is like . one scene where they kiss when theyre both 17!! just wanted to tag it as t just in case!!)

a/n: this is my FIRST!!! mileven/stranger things fic! please let me know what you think :) i also posted it on ao3 if you would rather read it there. enjoy!!

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Prompt List of Sarcasm [2]

Prompt List of Sarcasm: One 

  1. “I just know something bad is going to happen.” 
  2. “You don’t look like an angel.” 
  3. “This is who I am. Nobody said you had to like it.” 
  4. “Don’t talk. Please.” 
  5. “I’ll make my own decisions, thank you.” 
  6. “This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” 
  7. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.” 
  8. “Whoop! Whoop! Over-reaction alert!” 
  9. “It’s so ugly… I LOVE IT!” 
  10. “You lucky bastard.” 
  11. “We’re young. We’re fine. Let’s do some damage.” 
  12. “Who’s the bitch now, bitch?” 
  13. “I picked a helluva a day to quit drinking.” 
  14. “What’s that? Your stripper money?” 
  15. “Don’t you just hate those things you say that make you feel really blonde?” 
  16. “When I say problem, I mean global crisis.” 
  17. “Well, you don’t need to be snarky about.” 
  18. “If KARMA doesn’t hit you, I’ll do it.” 
  19. “Did you just fall?” “No, I attacked the floor.” “Backwards?” “I’m freaking talented!” 
  20. “Of course I can see you. I’m not blind you know.” 
  21. “The world can be amazing when you’re slightly strange.” 
  22. “Life is too short to wear boring clothes.” 
  23. “You throw punches, I throw insults.” 
  24. “Wow, I wish I could speak whale.” 
  25. “Sometimes I forget my middle name.” 
  26. “Let me just pound your head into the cement quick.” 
  27. “Yeah, I got that from your 600 voicemails.” 
  28. “I love the way your foul little mind works.” 
  29. “Haha, made you look.” 
  30. “Have you ever tried to run in heels?” 
  31. “Oh honey, I have a fake laugh with your name written all over it.” 
  32. “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth.” 
  33. “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 
  34. “Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.” 
  35. “Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case, they are nothing.” 
  36. “How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open.” 
  37. “I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.” 
  38. “Well aren’t we just a freakin’ ray of sunshine.” 
  39. “I’m the dumbest smart person you’ll ever meet.” 
  40. “You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.”
  41. “Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?” 
  42. “I could do that, but I won’t.” 
  43. “How come you’re here? I thought the zoo is closed at night…” 
  44. “You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me.” 
  45. “Oh, honey, don’t feel bad. There’s a lot of people out there who don’t have talent!” 
  46. “I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?” 
  47. “Sorry… I wasn’t born with a filter.” 
  48. “At least there’s one thing good about your body. It isn’t as ugly as your face.” 
  49. “I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your ass.” 
  50. “People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.” 
  51. “You grow on people, but so does cancer.” 
  52. “It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.” 
  53. “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.” 
  54. “If I throw a stick, will you leave?” 
  55. “Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.” 
  56. “And that’s why women living longer.” 
  57. “Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.” 
  58. “I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.” 
  59. “If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn’t be murder, it would be an apocalypse!” 
  60. “This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.” 
  61. “Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?” 
  62. “I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?” 
  63. “Don’t let your mind wander, it’s far too small to be let out on it’s own.” 
  64. “Don’t you realize that there are already enough people to hate in the world without you putting in so much effort to give us another?” 
  65. “I don’t know what makes you some dumb but it really works.” 
  66. “Don’t thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure.” 
  67. “I’m impressed. I’ve never met such a small mind inside a big head before.” 
  68. “You are not as bad as people say. You are much, much worse.” 
  69. “Please keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.” 
  70. “What do I say?” “I hear “hello” is really popular.” 
  71. “My ex had one very annoying habit. Breathing.” 
  72. “Please don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to myself.” 
  73. “You did what with who for how many muffins?” 
  74. “Heaven won’t take me and hell’s afraid I’ll take over.” 
  75. “I’m still drunk from last night.” 
  76. “I’m sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.” 
  77. “Zombies ear brains. You’re safe.” 
  78. “If only closed minds came with closed mouths.” 
  79. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d bot be wrong.” 
  80. “Babe, if a woman tell you “You’re right” that’s called sarcasm.” 
  81. “Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.” 
  82. “There’s someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.” 
  83. “I want to say I’m hear to listen to your problems, but I’m not a therapist and I don’t like you.” 
  84. “Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same times?” 
  85. “I’m actually not funny. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.” 
  86. “Oh, you don’t like me? Well have a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck.” 
  87. “I’m sorry I slapped you… But you didn’t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.” 
  88. “It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced ‘haha fuck you’.” 
  89. “I’m not jealous, I just don’t like the bitch.” 
  90. “Wanna see how far my six inch heel can go up your ass?” 
  91. “Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.” 
  92. “You look like something I drew with my left/right hand.” 
  93. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.” 
  94. “I’ve got a good heart but this mouth…” 
  95. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.” 
  96. “I take super hot showers to practice burning in hell.” 
  97. “If you don’t like me and still watch everything I do, BITCH YOU ARE A FAN.” 
  98. “Sweetie, I’m gonna need you to put those few remaining brain cells together and work with me here, okay?” 
  99. “Have you ever had those days when you are holding a stick and everybody looks like a pinata.” 
  100. “The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.”


Request: [x] Masterlist: [x]