i am the way the truth and the light

ed sheeran’s divide | sentence meme.

eraser.

  • ❛ i was born into a small town. i lost that state of mind. ❜
  • ❛ so blame it on the pain that blessed me with the life. ❜
  • ❛ friends and family filled with envy when they should be filled with pride. ❜
  • ❛ when the world’s against me is when i really come alive. ❜
  • ❛ you know that i’ve got whisky with white lies and smoke in my lungs. ❜
  • ❛ i need to get in the right mind and clear myself up. ❜
  • ❛ i look in the mirror, questioning what i’ve become. ❜
  • ❛ i’m well aware of certain things that can destroy a person like me. ❜
  • ❛ i am happy on my own so here i’ll stay. ❜
  • ❛ save your loving arms for a rainy day. ❜
  • ❛ i’ll find comfort in my pain eraser. ❜
  • ❛ i chased the picture perfect life. i think they painted it wrong. ❜
  • ❛ i beg you, don’t be disappointed with the person i’ve become. ❜
  • ❛ the world may be filled with hate, but keep erasing it now, somehow. ❜

castle on the hill.

  • ❛ i was younger then. ❜
  • ❛ i found my heart and broke it here. ❜
  • ❛ i know i’ve grown. i can’t wait to go home. ❜
  • ❛ i miss the way you make me feel. ❜
  • ❛ we watched the sun set over the castle on the hill. ❜
  • ❛ had my first kiss on a friday day. i don’t reckon i did it right. ❜

dive.

  • ❛ maybe i came on too strong. maybe i waited too long. ❜
  • ❛ maybe i played my cards wrong. oh, just a little bit wrong. ❜
  • ❛ i could live, i could die, hanging on the words you say. ❜
  • ❛ i’ve been known to give my all. ❜
  • ❛ so don’t call me, baby, unless you mean it. ❜
  • ❛ don’t tell me you need me if you don’t believe it. ❜
  • ❛ so let me know the truth before i dive right into you. ❜
  • ❛ do you have a tendency to lead some people on? ‘cuz i heard you do. ❜

shape of you. 

  • ❛ the club isn’t the best place to find a lover, so the bar is where i go. ❜
  • ❛ your love was handmade for somebody like me. ❜
  • ❛ i’m in love with the shape of you. we push and pull like a magnet do. ❜
  • ❛ although my heart is falling too, i’m in love with your body. ❜
  • ❛ last night you were in my room, and now my bed sheets smell like you. ❜
  • ❛ we talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour. ❜

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When my plus-sized or fat girlfriends tell me, “I wish I had a body like yours,” or “I don’t feel good in my body,” I don’t say, “Well, skinny-shaming hurts too and I also have low self-esteem.” Even though the latter is true, I don’t try to one-up my friends’ experiences and plights. I say, “You’re beautiful and your body is fine the way it is. Do what makes you happy but society’s beauty standards are bullshit. People who put down women because they’re larger are ignorant and they’re not telling the truth.” I assure and affirm them and am aware of my thin privilege. I may have low self-esteem and don’t think I’m very beautiful either but that’s irrelevant when talking about thin privilege, which I have. I really wish people who have light-skinned, thin or white privilege would stop one-upping dark-skinned, black and large bodies whenever they express low self-esteem due to correlating beauty privileges and standards. I get tired of hearing, “Well, one hurt isn’t worse than the other.”

Feysand Twins (Cassiel and Celeste) Sibling Squabble: Part 1
  • Feyre: Celeste, unhand your brother NOW
  • *Celeste throws Cassiel into Rhys' study in one blow*
  • Rhys: Oh Mother above Kids...Do you mind? We are in the middle of a meeting
  • *Cassiel throws the giant map table at Celeste*
  • Rhys: Umm never mind..its not like we are going to have another war
  • Cassian: I taught you two better
  • *Celeste punches Cassiel in the gut throwing him directly into dining hall breaking the table and tens of fancy wine bottles Mor had brought for party after meeting*
  • Mor: How am I going to get through the night NOW
  • *Cassiel grabs the blood rubies necklace and throws at Celeste*
  • Amren: Even your father never dared to do that
  • *Celeste pushes Azriel out of the way, completely taking him by surprise*
  • Azriel: The truth teller is not a TOY
  • Feyre: I am going to lock you two up with Bryaxis
  • Cassiel: We made friends with him when we were Five
  • Celeste: You were scared like a puppy, I was the one who faced him
  • *Cassiel throws a water hawk at Celeste which she ducks using a blinding white light*
  • Feyre: What did I tell you about using powers in my house
  • Twins: We saw Father using magic to make his hair shine
  • Feyre: Fair Point
  • *Cassiel throws a few ice shards at Celeste which she blocks using night power that looked like night folded itself into silky,glittery ribbons*
  • *One of the ribbons hits Nesta's books turning it into dust*
  • Nesta: ........*glares*
  • Celeste: oops you were so still,I confused you with the furniture
  • Feyre: ...
  • Cassian: ....
  • Rhys: ....
  • Nesta: ...
  • Cassian: If you rely on your powers you will never become true warriors
  • Feyre: They are twelve
  • Rhys: Feyre Darling,as high lady your presence is required in the meeting
  • Feyre: As father of my children your contribution is required in disciplining the two brats whom by the way YOU spoiled
  • Rhys: I will not apologize for loving my adorable kids who by the way are not at all spoiled
  • *The Twins throws each other outside the balcony *
  • Cassian: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT
  • Azriel: *whispering* I taught them that
  • Elain: NOT MY GARDEN
  • Lucien: It took me only four hours to get Elain to leave those flowers and look at me..but never mind that was one slick move
  • Rhys: That will teach our enemies,who to mess with..Not my children..they were trained by the best. *proud daddy smile*
  • Cassian: YOU DO NOT FALL..YOU DO NOT FALTER
  • Rhys: REMEMBER YOU ARE A WOLF..YOU CAN'T BE CAGED
  • Azriel: LET YOUR ENEMY TIRE HIMSELF OUT,WAIT FOR THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY
  • Mor: 30 Marks my girl Celeste is gonna kick Cassiel's ass
  • Cassian: 50 marks that Garden does not stand a chance
  • Elain: NO...
  • Lucien: 40 marks Cassiel is going to use all the foxy tricks I taught him
  • Azriel: 80 Marks Celeste is going to win using all the shadow tricks I taught her
  • Rhys: 100 Marks I will be proud by the time this fight is finished
  • Amren: 200 Marks I will kick all your asses any moment now
  • Feyre: *sighing* I keep forgetting the number of children I have

you always have my back and i can’t thank you enough for that. the truth is i wouldn’t be who i am today without your love and care. and like always, strangers have strange affairs. thanks for lighting my way out of depression. i’m not as sad and some days it’s not like that, but when i smile— you are much larger than life, brighter than the sun and pull more than the moon. i love you falls short when i think of you. you bring my colors into more dimensions and i want to live until that line makes sense.

Backfire

Angsty headcanon is now an angsty fic. Whoops


Kirishima had gotten plenty used to the yelling next door. Even with the wall muffling it, he could make out the cadence of different swears, peppered with banging, stomping, and the occasional contained explosion. His floor trembling and desk chattering and lamp wobbling were almost comforting reminders that he wasn’t living alone. Bakugou was safely next door, being angry about something.

It made Kirishima uncomfortable the night that nothing shook. He could make out a muffled something: hisses and mutterings and the shuffling of feet, all distinctly Bakugou, but this was different now.

Bakugou was trying to be quiet.

Kirishima toyed with the pages of his textbook, skimming to see how much was left of the chapter. His hair was down, just a bit damp from the shower, and he’d settled in, wearing sweats and an old t-shirt, planning to knock out as much homework as he could. His non-rattling lamp lit his desk, the rest of the room left in a cozy darkness. Kirishima ran his tongue along his teeth and weighed his options as he heard another muffled snarl through the wall. He closed the book, picked it up, opened his door, and knocked firmly on Bakugou’s.

“Yo Bakugou, did you do the math stuff yet? I don’t get the diagram with the triangle and the sine and cosine stuff.”

The muttering had quieted on the other side of Bakugou’s door. A brief silence sat between them.

“It’s easy. Go figure it out yourself.”

“Yeah but I’m stupid.” Kirishima twisted the knob of Bakugou’s door and found it surprisingly unlocked. He hesitated a moment, the door an inch cracked, before pushing it the rest of the way inward.

“Don’t–!!” was all Bakugou could shout before Kirishima looked up.

Kirishima said nothing at first. He only looked, making sense of the scene. The central light was on, swamping Bakugou’s scarcely-decorated room. Bakugou sat on his bed, sheets still made, still wearing the UA gym pants. The shirt had been discarded, apparently in tatters, on the floor. Kirishima’s eyes were drawn to the awkward bandages, strung like rope around Bakugou’s shoulders and ribcage. Bakugou’s right arm glistened slightly, painted with amorphous patches of raw pink skin.

“Dude, did you burn yourself?”

Keep reading

Fanfiction - Stealing Tomorrow (Chapter 7)

Just one more chapter to go! <3

Chapter 7 – Find Me

Edinburgh, Present day

Claire placidly munched her cereals – a bit soggy for her taste – as she inspected the cover of The Scottish Sun, frowning in concentration. The evocative headline occupied almost half of the front page, with a photo illustrating their cover story – “Murrayfield Hero ready to go home!”. The image – certainly captured by one of the first reporters at the scene – showed Jamie wearing his full firefighter gear, walking out of what seemed like the dooryard from Hell, carrying one of his men – probably unconscious - on the shoulder. The article promised more details and juicy revelations on page four (“From Broch Mordha to Edinburgh’s hottest”), page five (“Other legends on the Fire Department”) and page six (“The heartbreaking testimonies of Fraser’s braveness”).

“One would think that almost turning into crisped bacon was the fastest route to stardom.” She snorted to herself, taking a sip of rich and dark coffee. “I bet they are scavenging the Highlands for gossips about Edinburgh’s new sweetheart.”

The last couple of weeks had seen an increasing interest on Jamie’s persona by the media – the well-liked Station Officer with an irreprehensible career, respected both by men under him and by the ones in charge behind a desk; the lone wolf, by all reports divorced years ago, that refused all approaches from desirable women and seemed to wear an irremovable chastity belt; the loving son, who accompanied his crippled father until his death two years ago; the hunk,  spotted working out without his shirt on, delighting all women in the headquarters’ neighbourhood.  

Claire tried to avoid every conversation that contained even the slightest mention of Jamie – a considerable feat, since even the nurses continuously buzzed about how handsome and well-mannered he was.

After his shattering revelations – which had thrown Claire into a new spell of insomnia, which she used to get her charts up to speed – their conversations had consisted mainly of monosyllables and medical exchanges. She would check his drains; he would ask about a prevision to start physical therapy on his hand. She looked for signs of infection on his surgical wounds; he told her his pain was a four on a scale of one to ten. She compressed her lips, trying to avoid screaming at him; he said nothing, accepting her radioactive silence with the hopeless patience of a convict sentenced to imprisonment for the rest of his days.

Claire knew he was trying to give her time to process their conversation, before touching the subject again. His Fraser stubbornness, usually despairing, was serving him well in that instance.

Knowing his reasons had changed the starting point of their fallout – but not the outcome. He had tried to protect her and give her the life she was meant to live – and in that harrowing attempt, had failed to comprehend that, without him, every achievement felt void of its meaning. Jamie had used lies as a gift – and the unwrapping had broken both their hearts. Where once stood sadness and incomprehension, now rested anger and betrayal, pumping from her with every heartbeat, crushing her vessels with their intensity.

But the most unbearable pain, the one that kept her awake at night, was the undeniable desire to forget it all – to take him in her arms and cradle him against her repairing heart. To kiss him and feel him melting against her – to bite his lip and taste his blood, knowing it pulsed with her name. To hear him whisper his secrets and the truth in them.

“Bloody man.” She whispered, her fingers reluctantly caressing his picture. “What am I going to do with you?”

****

“Thank ye for taking me.” He repeated for what was probably the tenth time. “The lads were supposed to get me but they’re shorthanded as it is in the department.”

“No problem.” She replied shortly, driving through Edinburgh’s streets, immersed in the evanescent light of dusk. Claire had offered to take him home after his discharge from the hospital, using the employee entrance to avoid the questions and flashes of journalists. “At least this way I know you won’t do anything stupid with your hand, until you’re actually inside the house.”

“Hm.” He snorted with mirth, looking at his still- bandaged hand. “I’m just glad I’ll be sleeping in my own bed, without anyone waking me to ask if my bowels moved already or spooked by the beeping sounds of the wee machines.”

“Which way now?” Claire asked, softly tapping the steering wheel with her fingers, as they achieved a deserted crossroad.

“Left.” Jamie gave her a renitent half-smile. “Ye’ll keen the way from here, I suppose.”

“Yes.” Claire breathed out, a tight knot forming inside her throat. “I believe I do.”

The building of their old apartment was visible down the street, looking exactly as she remembered it – the earthy tones of the façade vivid, that used to remind her of the soil of her flowers, fertile and homely. Propelled by the sight, memories came rushing back, as if they had been expecting to be summoned just in the corners of her conscience, brutal as needles in the back of her eyes.

“I received half of the money when the apartment was sold.” She blurted incredulous, blinking furiously in the half-light. “The man who bought it was someone named Angus MacKenzie.”

“He is a friend.” Jamie said softly. “He sold it back to me as soon as the deal was done.”

“Why would you want to live in this place?” Claire asked nervously, brushing back some of her curls, which had been falling over her face. “After everything that happened?”

“You were still here.” He whispered in a hoarse voice. “In a sense. The mattress of our bed had the shape of your body carved. There was the wee spot on the kitchen’s wall, were tomato sauce spilled, because we were too busy making love on the floor. The curtains ye chose, because ye never had such a house before, and a true home needed proper curtains.” Jamie looked at her, his eyes soft. “This house is everything I had left of ye, Claire. I couldna leave it.”

“You should have burnt it.” Claire hissed, fighting back the surge of emotions that made her vulnerable to his words.

I don’t want you anymore.

I loved you well.

She parked the car in silence and helped him getting out, prescinding of the assertive tenderness she usually applied to every wounded creature. They slowly climbed up the stairs – the elevator being broken again – until the third floor, the former residence of a happy newlywed couple.

Jamie opened the door with his keys – he still used the same keychain, Claire noticed, of a leaping stag shaped in silver. She had offered it to him, on their first Christmas together.

“I need to use the bathroom.” He smiled shyly. “I’ll be right back, aye?” And without waiting for her agreement, he rapidly strode out of her sight, as if to avoid that she used the opportunity to say her final goodbyes.

The living room was almost precisely the same – photographs taken more than ten years apart would only show small changes, like a different elegant cream-coloured rug and a new lamp by the corner. Everything else seemed to have been caught in the webs of time, as an insect amid flight trapped by a predatory spider.

Claire’s eyes travelled across the tomes on the bookcase – where some new volumes had been added to Jamie’s impressive collection, sleeping next to their photographs – and her eyes were attracted by a drawer’s open crack. Feeling ashamed, but somewhat entitled, she slid it open until the full compartment was exposed.

With her hands shaking, she grabbed the magazine on top of the pile – an old issue of The American Journal of Medicine. She recognized it instantly – she also had a copy of that same issue, stored in one of her boxes since the move. Abandoning any attempt at discretion, she surveyed the contents of the drawer.

Jamie seemed to have found every publication where her name came up – from obscure magazines where her name had been cited after another dozen; to the most reputed surgical journals, with her articles and findings front and centre. It must have been a constant and tiresome job, keeping up with her career, for someone not even in the medical field.

How many hours had he laid there, only their ghosts for company, the consolation of her success a bittersweet drug to numb the pain?

All those days between what they had been and what they were now, forever lost – no regret or anger would win them the right of a replay. But perhaps they still had the chance of stealing tomorrow; of reclaiming the piece of themselves left behind, placing their stones and pillars to build a new sacred place, a new life.

“In my darkest moments, it helped.” She listened his deep voice say from where he stood by the door, his eyes secluded. “Knowing that what I did had some meaning. I celebrated each one of yer victories from afar, as I couldna be kissing ye as I wished.”

“It was your choice.” Claire replied, forcibly closing the drawer.

“Aye.” Jamie said, his shoulders slumped in defeat. “I told ye – I dinna regret what I did. But I do regret every tear you shed and every unhappiness I may have caused ye. That I regret…most terribly.”

“If I hadn’t come back and found you by accident…” She said, her arms hugging her body in defence. “Would you ever tell me the truth?”

He tilted his head, his auburn hair coming alive with the slight reflection of the white glow outside. Jamie walked until he was closer to her - able to touch her in an instant, if it wasn’t for the barrier they had both fought so hard to erect.

“There was a time when I thought it a blessing to know what ye were thinking at all times.” He licked his lips and closed his eyes, his long lashes shielding bottomless blue. “My glass faced lass. Now I only see yer pain and yer hate - and it kills me. I’d rather be dead than to see ye so. No – I wouldna say a thing. I wished to let ye live yer life and, hopefully, forget me.”

“How could I forget you?” She whispered. “And how can I forgive you?”

“I’m prepared to wait as long as it takes, Claire.” Jamie swallowed hard. “And if it canna be in this life, I shall pray for a chance to meet ye again in the next - and find yer forgiveness there.”

“I don’t know how to start.” Claire brushed her forehead with her fingers, breathing fast. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

“Tell me how I’ve hurt ye.” Jamie slowly touched her hand. “Speak to me about what has been broken. I am still the man ye loved – and what ye dinna ken about me now, you can learn in time.”

“And if I don’t want to?” She said slowly, tilting her chin to avoid his scorching gaze.

“Then know I shall love ye forever.” Jamie brushed her knuckles with the fingers of his sane hand. “Ye are my home, mo nighean donn.”

“This home is lost, Jamie.” She sobbed, the pressure of his fingers making her flesh tingle. How many times had they stood there, him whispering his love, her believing it with all her heart?

They were bathed almost in complete darkness – night had fallen outside and the scarce light that came from the lamppost by the window dipped them in shadows. Jamie swished, as if he was about to fall on his knees – but his hand came up then and he touched her cheek, insecure and tentative.

“But it can be found again.” He softly kissed her forehead, real against the absence of light surrounding them. “Find me, Claire. Find us.”

sentence prompts ➝ in this moment
  • ❛ This is our eternity. ❜
  • ❛ I was never good enough. ❜
  • ❛ Will you be the death of me? ❜
  • ❛ I’ve been drowning in questions, over and over again. ❜
  • ❛ Just look at me and say goodbye. ❜
  • ❛ I know you’re by my side. ❜
  • ❛ The only promise I could make you is that my promise is a lie. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t know how I’ll get through this. ❜
  • ❛ My beautiful liar, why are you crying? ❜
  • ❛ I love you for always driving me insane. ❜
  • ❛ Can I give you just a taste? ❜
  • ❛ I don’t need you to save me. ❜
  • ❛ You’re dangerous, so keep your distance. ❜
  • ❛ I’ll tell you exactly what you want. Teach you to behave. ❜
  • ❛ Come on, inside my room. ❜
  • ❛ I would walk through flames for you. ❜
  • ❛ And in your hate, I find love. ❜
  • ❛ I’m not gonna change. So stay out of my way. ❜
  • ❛ Can we run away now and hide from tomorrow? ❜
  • ❛ These voices are killing me. ❜
  • ❛ All my life I was afraid to die but now I come alive. ❜
  • ❛ It’s been a beautiful tragedy. ❜
  • ❛ We wanted peace but you brought this war. ❜
  • ❛ I’ll be the best you ever had. ❜
  • ❛ You’ll never know what it is you’ve done to me. ❜
  • ❛ We’re not gonna stop tonight. We’re gonna burn this city down. ❜
  • ❛ I know that I can survive this. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t want to wake from this. ❜
  • ❛ You know where to meet me and you know just what I need. ❜
  • ❛ Don’t try and stop me now. ❜
  • ❛ I’m so tired of you telling me how to live and what I should not be. ❜
  • ❛ Take me away tonight, just me with you. ❜
  • ❛ Let me hear you scream. ❜
  • ❛ I crave excess, turning wine into sweat dripping down my neck. ❜
  • ❛ You’re cutting into me. ❜
  • ❛ There’s just something about you. It feeds the addict in me. ❜
  • ❛ It’s haunting, that hold that you have over me. ❜
  • ❛ Release me from these memories. ❜
  • ❛ Let me tell you how I want it. ❜
  • ❛ I know how this will end so I’m turning away now. ❜
  • ❛ Why does fear dominate when all we want is peace? ❜
  • ❛ I’m only here for one thing. ❜
  • ❛ You and me. We’re gonna be alright. ❜
  • ❛ There’s a look in your eyes, I know just what that means. ❜
  • ❛ I feel you growing closer. I feel you in the air. ❜
  • ❛ These memories run through my veins. ❜
  • ❛ You never once have doubted me. ❜
  • ❛ I’m the person you’ve been thinking about. The one thing you can’t live without. ❜
  • ❛ The strong will fight and the weak will run. ❜
  • ❛ You love me for everything you hate me for. ❜
  • ❛ I found a world where we are free. ❜
  • ❛ You know I’m always there with you. ❜
  • ❛ I love the way you dominate and you violate me. ❜
  • ❛ It’s true, I was waiting for a sign. ❜
  • ❛ You won’t forget me. I will haunt you until the truth unfolds. ❜
  • ❛ I’m the one that you need and fear. ❜
  • ❛ Tell me why we’re lying here on the floor. ❜
  • ❛ I am falling down the rabbit hole. ❜
  • ❛ Endless days and nights I wait for you. ❜
  • ❛ You’re so pretty, dripping sin. ❜
  • ❛ I’m just what you need, the perfect disease. ❜
  • ❛ You don’t know how hard I fought to survive. ❜
  • ❛ I still believe in the good and I still believe in the light. ❜
  • ❛ You left me there alone. ❜
  • ❛ I’ll have you down on your knees. I’ll have you begging for more. ❜
  • ❛ I was my own worst enemy. ❜
  • ❛ Take me, pull me all around. Break me, I’m yours. ❜
  • ❛ I’ll taste you until I can’t. ❜
  • ❛ You’re beautiful and sick like me. ❜
  • ❛ I want you biting down on me. ❜
  • ❛ You’ll still love me. Dead or alive. ❜
  • ❛ I am the misery you crave and you, you are my faithful enemy. ❜
  • ❛ I’m yours to have and to hold. ❜
  • ❛ No matter where you run, you cannot hide from me. ❜
  • ❛ Is it sick of me to need control of you? ❜
  • ❛ Even in these chains, you can’t stop me. ❜
  • ❛ What I would give just to be with you. ❜
  • ❛ I thank you for the moments of your life. And never giving up on me. ❜
  • ❛ You run through my veins. ❜
  • ❛ Stay the fuck out of my head! ❜
  • ❛ There’s nothing I won’t do to show you, I would sacrifice my dying breath for you. ❜
  • ❛ Let me sleep away these memories within. ❜
  • ❛ Shut your dirty, dirty mouth. ❜
  • ❛ Baby, go ahead. I’ll be the villain you can blame. ❜
  • ❛ Hello, are you listening? Can you hear me? ❜
  • ❛ They will never know all the blood we shed. ❜
  • ❛ We knew it was meant to be, but never meant to last. ❜
  • ❛ The wrath of your hate has returned. ❜
  • ❛ Not even death could take me away from you. ❜
  • ❛ I am your sinner, I am your whore. ❜
  • ❛ I know you had to go, it’s my war not yours. ❜
  • ❛ Even if the world ignites into flames, you’ll be right here by my side. ❜
  • ❛ We have to end the hate. ❜
  • ❛ This sufferings my blessing. ❜
  • ❛ You’re gonna listen to what I say this time. ❜
  • ❛ Determination is pushing me. Perseverance is what I bleed. ❜
  • ❛ I’m drowning in solitude again. ❜
  • ❛ You don’t know the torture. You don’t know the pain. ❜
  • ❛ I still can see your eyes believing in your love for me as you watched me die. ❜
  • ❛ The time has come for me to say goodbye. ❜
  • ❛ I wanted to believe in you. ❜
  • ❛ These faces come and go and all I do is think of you. ❜
  • ❛ I hate you for the way you smile when you look at me. ❜
  • ❛ You think if I bleed, it can save you. ❜
  • ❛ As your sky starts to fall, you realize you’re standing alone. ❜
  • ❛ This confession is killing me again. ❜
  • ❛ Take my hand, show me the way. And never bring me back here. ❜
  • ❛ I know you’ll never understand me. ❜
  • ❛ In my dreams last night, I saw your face. You held me and washed away my tears. ❜
Dear Anonymous:

1. I hope she reacts well to your inclinations. I used to love someone like that too. I hope she loves you back. I hope you’re happy.

2. I just want to love too. I think soulmates work that way because life’s too short to be stuck to one person, but one person can change your whole perspective– one person is all it takes to fuel the rest of your life with passion. It’s always worth the rejection. We were built to break and rebuild. Sometimes heartbreak is the way in, but it’s also the way out. Timing is everything. Timing is everything… if you didn’t meet them when you weren’t ready, you’ll never be ready for someone else when they’re ready for you.

3. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay– love is love, right? Who cares if you’re in love with a she or a he, they’ll break you apart or keep you together. It’s such an odd thing. To die and live in a simple three word sentence.

4. A book? By the end of this year, it’ll happen.

5. I am from the darkest corner of your thoughts, the sun crawling through your curtains– I’m the cup of coffee that needs a fuck ton of sugar. I’m the distance we had to keep, I’m the apologies that made us weep.

6. An apology seems to be my only way to start the day as of lately. I’m sorry too.

7. Love is a coffee shop, we’re just the misplaced books. We’re the sentences, we’re the typos. I’ll be the incorrect emoji for the moment, if you’ll be the text sent to the wrong person. I’ll say I love you if you never say it back. I’ll love you if you don’t love me back. You can be sure about that. You can be sure about that…

8. My mind feels kinda broken, I guess we’re all kinda messed up sometimes.

9. This is not talent, this is hard work. Don’t confuse the two. I was not born with this, I woke up one morning like this. I will die with this, I will ink my whole life into your skin if you let me.

10. You loved them enough to let them go. There’s nothing more beautiful than that one simple realization. I will love you from afar and we’ll both grow. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? I don’t think it would’ve worked out anyway, we need this. This time spent apart, we need this. All of it.

11. “Don’t ever make someone your person when they don’t even know how to be their own.” Realest shit I ever read. Big ups.

12. I will never quit writing. She’s always reading. She’s always reading.

13. I’m sorry, I think we’re all in need of assistance. We can’t do it alone. Go out and make a few new friends. They’ll help. I promise.

14. Shit, I don’t know either. I wake up like that. It sucks, but you’ll figure out the truth eventually. I promise.

15. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. How can I answer you if I don’t even know the answers myself? I’m just human. I’m just like you. Nothing new here, just more human frailties.

16. It’s been a year plus, but I still love her too. We’re all missing someone, we just need an outlet.

17. Love doesn’t like to break even, love doesn’t like to remain still– love should feel like a few broken ribs, love should feel like a few torn heartstrings– but love should also feel delicate, love should also be soft.

18. I don’t know what language you’re speaking in, but I’m pretty sure it’s definition is beautiful. Stay beautiful.

19. I fade away every night. If you want to be nothing, I get it. It’s the easy way out. The shortcut to the end. Who doesn’t want that? But choosing to live, choosing to figure it out. That’s commendable. Always is. Always will be.

20. You need to let go of him because until you do… you’ll always be dependent of him. You’ll never be yourself. There is more oneness in loving yourself first versus oneness in loving someone for the sake of feeling whole. Love is an illusion.

21. If I am the Galaxy, then explain my black holes. How many times must I die before I feel like it’s time to live?

22. People can die from a broken heart, but people also forget that they’re a garden. You are the roses. You are the florist. You are the sun. You are the sun. You are the blossom. You are the growth. You are the bees. You grow into me, like how I’ll grow into you.

23. Thank you doesn’t even start to explain you.

24. Fear is a powerful tool for motivation. Use it wisely.

25. If you don’t want it to end, then write it down. Because some day, he might not be there. Some day, all you’ll have are those words. Nothing lasts forever and that’s just something that we must remember. How can you love yourself if you don’t keep that in mind?

26. I’m sorry. I’m not him. I’m not you. How can I possibly give you some ending? We’re all looking for more poison to fill our veins with.

27. I slept for 24 hours, but I’m still tired.

28. It’s hard to backtrack too.

29. It ends when your heart gives out on you. It ends when your search hits a brick walls it ends when your lights dim just enough for you to read the truth etched into your skin like a story that was never supposed to be told. We were meant to feel the love stories, but we could never keep the last page from ringing true. The truth is I love you too.

30. I’ll let you know right now. I am not your ex. And if in some way, I am… then know that no one is out to get you. The only person that’s doing that is you. Waking up to fear is no way to live. Letting go… it’s an excellent start.

31. My opinion on loving someone that doesn’t love you back anymore is this: if you’re doing it. Stop. Just stop. Save yourself some time. Stop yourself from that mistake. It doesn’t end well for you. It doesn’t end well for your emotions. Start with you. It’s a good place.

32. I’m not Filipino.

33. Hello.

34. Pretty crimson leaves used for a pretty crimson sneeze.

35. We’ll never be the same. Change is the only way to live your life.

36. I’m from the same place that all poets were born into. A Silk Road of heartbreaks and slow songs.

37. We’re all unique. From your first thought of today to your DNA.

38. Maybe kiss him today? Fuck it. Life’s too short. Let the make out sessions begin.

39. My thoughts sink us into tomorrow.

40. They say that the smaller you write, the more you care about others. The bigger you write, the more love you’ve got for yourself.

41. I’m afraid that you’re right.

42. There’s always beauty in loneliness. The way he reads that book from across the street. The way she pulls back her hair to drink her tea. The way they fell in love made yesterday like a today we’ll never share.

43. The question is the answer.

44. I’ll call you some day.

45. I’m looking for myself. Shouldn’t we all?

46. You’re a beautiful creature too.

47. Two strangers? The start of every love story.

48. You can call me K.C.

49. Twice by Madeline Stauffer

50. Nothing is wrong with you. There is only more to love.

51. And that’s exactly why I’m answering all of them in this post.

52. I changed my URL because I wanted it to be less about her and more about me.

53. Take a break and walk around. Artificial lighting can hurt us. The sun’s good too.

54. No comment.

55. I’m a robot.

56. I don’t answer anonymous asks anymore because how can I help others if I can’t even help myself kinda realization. My apologies.

57. Poetry about being viewed for only sex… hmm… you sound like somebody I know.

58. Pick yourself first. Always pick yourself.

59. Don’t die. Do not die. There’s so much more out there.

60. Sticking to yourself is a good start.

61. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s only more to love.

62. I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out myself actually.

63. I’ll draw more once my mind is less exhausted.

64. There’s nothing wrong with reading poetry.

65. Love is something that’s immensely felt and hard to measure.

66. I’m trying to be more than just another broken heart.

67. I feel like a disappointment to myself constantly. We’re too hard on ourselves. It sucks.

68. Maybe they should profess their love to each other?

69. I’m sorry.

70. You should listen to your mother. If she’s your guardian, respect her wishes until you’re of age.

71. Drinking and smoking– there’s nothing wrong with it. Although it is nice to give your body a break here and there.

72. I think you’re right.

73. You need to lean on yourself. Remember that people need space from us. People need room to breathe. You can’t smother them.

74. I love you too.

75. I’m sorry. Maybe you should stay away from him. You’re obviously catching feelings when you shouldn’t.

76. Falling in love with your best friend? That sounds terrific tbh.

77. Are you alive? Suicide isn’t the answer.

78. I’m sorry. You need to give yourself some time to heal. Maybe you’re not ready for love.

79. Sometimes I think I’ll die at an early age too.

80. I love them both.

81. All love stories should hold mysteries.

82. Life is full of regrets– you just need to pick the right ones to live with.

83. You deserve to love yourself first.

84. I’m sorry. Empathy is a bitch, isn’t it?

85. “But it’s the way she smiles, like every bullet missed her…” the only way to smile.

86. I would never give up this part of me.

87. I understand. Give yourself more time.

88. Because people are just as lost as you are.

89. I’m trying to be better. I promise.

90. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

91. Who hasn’t fucked up? It’s learning to be better… that’s the only thing that fucking matters. You’re still here, right?

92. Hold his hand and call him yours.

93. I’m sorry. I can barely understand myself. How can I explain you for who you are?



94. You say that I’m a little harsh. Life is rough. Why would I sugarcoat the truth?
—  The truth about you
Only yesterday I was no different than them, yet I was saved. I am explaining to you the way of life of a people who say every sort of wicked thing about me because I sacrificed their friendship to gain my own soul. I left the dark paths of their duplicity and turned my eyes toward the light where there is salvation, truth, and justice. They have exiled me now from their society, yet I am content. Mankind only exiles the one whose large spirit rebels against injustice and tyranny. He who does not prefer exile to servility is not free in the true and necessary sense of freedom.
—  Kahlil Gibran

Part five of my quotes collection is dedicated to the leaders! This one is a little bit longer, and believe me, I know I’m leaving out some leaders on this list and it may feel a bit scattered. But as always, I hope you enjoy these quotes and add them to your own collection!

Alexander the Great 

  • “There is nothing impossible to him who will try.”
  • “Remember upon the conduct of each depends the fate of all.”
  • “I had rather excel others in the knowledge of what is excellent, than in the extent of my power and dominion.”

Napoleon Bonaparte

  • “A leader is a dealer in hope.”
  • “Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.”
  • “Victory belongs to the most persevering.”
  • “He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.”
  • “Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.”
  • “The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.”

Dalai Lama

  • “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”
  • “In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.”
  • “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
  • “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
  • “Home is where you feel at home and are treated well.”
  • “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.”
  • “The important thing is that men should have a purpose in life. It should be something useful, something good.”
  • “With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.”
  • “When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied. But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, ‘Oh yes - I already have everything that I really need.'”
  • “Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.”

Catherine the Great 

  • “I beg you take courage; the brave soul can mend even disaster.”

Winston Churchill

  • “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
  • “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
  • “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
  • “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”
  • “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
  • “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”
  • “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.”
  • “Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.”
  • “Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.”
  • “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
  • “The price of greatness is responsibility.”
  • “Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it.”
  • “Never give in - never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.”

Nelson Mandela

  • “It always seems impossible until its done.”
  • “A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.”
  • “We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.”
  • “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
  • “After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.”
  • “There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
  • “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
  • “Courageous people do not fear forgiving, for the sake of peace.”
  • “Any man or institution that tries to rob me of my dignity will lose.”

Martin Luther King. Jr. 

  • “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
  • “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
  • “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.”
  • “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
  • “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
  • “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”
  • “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
  • “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
  • “The time is always right to do what is right.”
  • “We may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.”
  • “I am not interested in power for power’s sake, but I’m interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good.”
  • “The quality, not the longevity, of one’s life is what is important.”
  • “Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.”
  • “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”

Margaret Thatcher

  • “Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction.”
  • “If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.”
  • “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”
  • “What is success? I think it is a mixture of having a flair for the thing that you are doing; knowing that it is not enough, that you have got to have hard work and a certain sense of purpose.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt

  • “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”
  • “There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still.”
  • “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
  • “Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.”
  • “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”

Theodore Roosevelt

  • “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”
  • “Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”
  • “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
  • “Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”
  • “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
  • “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
  • “With self-discipline most anything is possible.”
  • “The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.”
  • “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”
  • “Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.”
  • “It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things.”
  • “Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name worth remembering.”
  • “I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!” 

Mohandas Gandhi

  • “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”
  • “Where there is love there is life.”
  • “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
  • “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
  • “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
  • “The good man is the friend of all living things.”
  • “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
  • “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
  • “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”
  • “There is more to life than increasing its speed.”
  • “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
  • “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”
  • “Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you, but it is most important that you do it.”
  • “You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.”
  • “To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.”
  • “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”
  • “Truth never damages a cause that is just.”
  • “Fear has its use but cowardice has none.”
  • “We may stumble and fall but shall rise again; it should be enough if we did not run away from the battle.”

Abraham Lincoln

  • “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.”
  • “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”
  • “I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.”
  • “Don’t worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.”
  • “I do the very best I know how - the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.”
  • “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”
  • “You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”
  • “Whatever you are, be a good one.”
  • “Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.”
  • “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
2

♛ Morgan le Fay +  books  {1/ ∞} 

the mists of avalon (marion zimmer bradley)

“ In my time I have been called many things: sister, lover, priestess, wise-woman, queen. Now in truth I have come to be wise-woman, and a time may come when these things may need to be known. But in sober truth, I think it is the Christians who will tell the last tale. For ever the world of Fairy drifts further from the world in which the Christ holds sway. I have no quarrel with the Christ, only with his  priests, who call the Great Goddess a demon and deny that she ever held power in this world.  [….] 

And now, when the world has changed, and Arthur-my brother, my lover, king who was and king who shall be-lies dead (the common folk say sleeping) in the Holy Isle of Avalon, the tale should be told
as it was before the priests of the White Christ came to cover it all with their saints and legends. […]  This is my truth; I who am Morgaine tell you these things, Morgaine who was in later days called Morgan le Fay.” 

[Synopses] In Bradley’s novel the arthurian legend is retold by the lives of women, bringing a new light to the fantastic story of King Arthur. From the perspective of female characters, the book follows the trajectory of Morgaine, a priestess of the Goddess who struggles to save her faith and culture in a country where christianity threatens to destroy the pagan way of life. Besides of Morgaine, the story is also focused on the lives of other arthurian women, such as Gwenhwyfar, Viviane, Morgause, Igraine (x). 

Happier

Remus Lupin x reader

Masterlist

Request;

Anonymous said:
Can you do a young Remus Lupin x Reader based of Happier by Ed Sheeran. Maybe like flashbacks of the past and years in the future?

Lyrics Flashbacks

This heartbreak was one you weren’t quite sure you’d survive. It ate at you every hour of the day, leaving you an empty shell of the person you once was. The purple bags under your eyes stood in contrast to the dull grey color your skin had gotten. You had promised yourself never to let a boy break you like this, but Remus Lupin was not just some boy.

Only a month we’ve been apart…

You felt your heart sink to your feet at the realization of what he was saying. remus was breaking up with you;

“It’s not… it’s not y…” he stammered, trying to come up with an excuse. You scoffed;

“Let me guess, ‘it’s not you, its me’, right?”

He looked away agin, not sure how to respond. You shook your head, trying to rid yourself of the tears threatening to fall. You tried holding it back, but a small sob still escaped your lips. Remus looked at you again, pain evident in his eyes;

“I never wanted to hurt you. I… I just…”

You rolled your eyes and reached up to wipe your tears with a shaky hand, trying to at least keep some of your pride;

“Save it, Remus” your voice broke and he looked like he had taken a hit to the face when you brushed past him.

But ain’t nobody love you like I do…

Your high pithed laugh rung in the common room as Remus tickled your sides. He had a look of pure adoration in his eyes as he looked down at you. Through all the laughter you still somehow managed to get out a “R-Remus, stop it!”

He only laughed and kissed the top of your head.

“Can we get back to reading now?” you questioned, pretending to be annoyed at his antics. Before he Ould answer you pressed your lips against his. Merlin, you thought, how could one person make you so happy?

'Cause baby you look happier, you do. My friends told me one day I’ll feel it too.

Lily’s arms were wrapped around you as your sobs echoed through the seventh year girls dormitories. You had seen Remus with another girl, only talking, but you were still so heartbroken. He looked so happy, and here you were, breaking down in your best friend’s arms. She stroked your hair and offered you words of comfort, but nothing could help you. You weren’t sure if you’d ever be happy without Remus.

“You will,” Lily promised,

“You will”

Sat on the corner of the room. Everything’s reminding me of you. Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you’re happier. Aren’t you?

Lily and Marlene had finally managed to drag you out of the dorms to go to a party, but all you did was sit in the corner, sipping your seventh, or was it eight, drink of the night. Your eyes scanned across the room, but they instantly went to Remus. He was sitting in front of the fire, talking to James and Sirius. He looks happier, you convinced yourself. Much happier.

I know that there’s others that deserve you. But my darling, I am still in love with you.

Remus had gotten a girlfriend, a beautiful Ravenclaw who adored him. And that fucking hurt.

I could try to smile to hide the truth. I know I was happier with you.

James’ and Lily’s wedding was beautiful. You were her maid of honor and you’d cried your eyes out during the ceremony. Finally there was some light through the darkness sounding you. You were all too young for this, but there was no way in hell you’d go down without a fight. Especially not since lily told you she was pregnant yesterday.

The hardest thing of the day though, was seeing Remus. You knew he was going to be there, but that did not make it one bit easier. He was smiling and laughing with James and Sirius, he had even tried to talk to you a few times. Luckily Sirius had seen your pained smile and came to the rescue, distracting him so you could get away. It was had been almost a year since your had broken up. Why did it still hurt this badly?

But if it breaks your heart like lovers do. Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you.

You knew that you’d never quite gotten over Remus, and everyone knew you never would. You’d still be waiting for him to come back, even if it destroyed you.

Requests are open

goblintoast  asked:

Hi Kat!! 😊 Apologies if you've answered this already, but what is your favorite Amethyst quote? 💎

Man every time she talks I feel blessed so this is gonna be hard!!

Let me see.. 

  • “Pearl! You just gave her some Shakesperian spiel about light, then got her number like it was nothing?! Pearl, you’re a total rockstar!”
  • “Whoa! You truthed him so hard, he died!”
  • “Rose said… I’m perfect… the way I am!”
  • “Hah…I know what’s wrong with me. I’m not supposed to be small. And everyone’s always acting like there’s no problem. You can be anything you want to be. No! I can’t. Huh…I can’t even be the one thing I’m supposed to be you know?”
  • “Humans should just stop wearing clothes… be a lot funnier.”
  • “Hey, uh, this is Amethyst, I don’t appreciate being called a clod, you clod…”
  • “Homegirl knows we’re gonna beat her into a green pancake.”
  • “Let’s ambush them!”
  • “Per, I'mma be really real with you for a sec. This whole time we’ve been here, you’ve just been focusing on what you can’t do. Of course you’re not having any fun. You think that all you are is who you could be, but we don’t hang out with you because of who you could be. We like you.”
  • “Are you trying to kill him faster?”
  • “I got hit by a airplane!”
  • “Yeah! Let’s mash it up! Bigger, badder, better! Ahahahaha!”
  • “Shut down by the G-squad!”
  • “NOOOOOO! MI TORTA!”
  • “WHOA, MAMA!”
  • “I never asked to be made!”
  • “Yo, Steman! My seams straight?”
  • “Man, you’ve changed! You look terrible!”
  • “Wait, can Steven fly? Yeah, I think I remember that. No no, I’m thinking of Lapis. Hey, Steven! How did you learn how to fly?”
  • “No! I get mad at myself! That’s, ugh, the thing I do. I get mad at myself and then it makes me suck at everything I do even more.”
Then Again, P7  Peter Parker x Reader

Author’s Note: To everyone reading and favoriting this story, thank you! I can’t express how happy I am to see each note and message.

Though I’d love to fumble through my gratitude further, this is a big chapter, so I’ll end my rambles here for now.

Let me know what you think!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 8

Then Again, Part 7:

(Words: 3,059)


I often expect too much, set my sights a little too high. I know this, so I always prepare myself in case nothing goes according to plan.

For example: I had hoped this second annual break-into-the-hotel-pool activity would be easy, that everyone would come willingly, and we would have fun before the tournament tomorrow. Still, I prepared myself for a few bumps. For example, if Peter refused, if the entire thing flopped because everyone was worried about getting enough sleep, or if someone in the hotel caught us and reported it to Mr. Harrington, I was prepared.

Strangely enough, everyone crept out on time and Peter barely hesitated at all. Well, Michelle did force him from the start and head off his first protest too quickly for him to find another: “Dude, just say you’ve been working out. Nobody’s going to get suspicious because you’re jacked. Even Flash can’t turn that,” she motioned to Peter’s entire body, “into a joke.”

Yet I’m more uneasy now than if everything had gone wrong. I’m not even concerned about getting caught. Mr. Harrington is watching Jurassic Park in his room and checking the hallway at ten-minute intervals and I’m almost certain the hotel staff knows we’re here, but doesn’t care.

Nevertheless, I’m just… anxious.

It might have to do with how the boys are stacked upon one another in the shallow end for Chicken and, given the small area of the pool, injuries are on the table. It might have to do with Flash’s new habit of winking at me and being, in general, maddeningly obnoxious. It might also have to do with the fact that my friends are being abnormally secretive. (I hate to use Flash’s words, but he’s sort of right. It’s the best description. Even once I got back in my room, MJ and Ned kept sending texts - I have no idea who to, though I would guess between them and Peter.)

Admittedly, my nerves might also be connected to Liz, whose face I can see across the water. As our Captain, Michelle thought it would be nice to Facetime her, ask about college, and show her that her pool idea has become a tradition.

Liz’s dorm room is beautiful, from what I can make out. She has calendars and planners neatly pinned up with Christmas lights to outline them. Photos hang from mini clothespins on a string and she even has a little library set up on her windowsill with a porcelain cat-shaped bookend. It’s like a freaking Pinterest photo. I’ve always been somewhat jealous of her, but I know that outside of some old disagreement and my envy for her style and Peter’s (old? current?) crush on her, I am glad she seems happy. Everyone knows how much she’s been going through.

As Abe and Peter pretend to duke it out on Flash and Ned’s shoulders, the light of Liz from Michelle’s phone skips through the ripples, illuminating them just so. I keep zoning out and staring at the pattern. I feel weird staying on the other side of the pool with her there, but I don’t know Liz that well outside of the team and truth be told, she always intimidated me. She just… has things together. Even now. She’s wonderful and precise and good in every way a person can be. I feel minuscule by comparison.

Then again, it might be the overwhelming smell of chlorine that’s getting into my head and putting me off. Plus, all the glints of light swimming across the glass walls - making them reflect further like a hall of mirrors - are beginning to strain my eyes. Part of me just wants to sleep. To climb out from the water, change into some pajamas, and go to bed and forget this.

But I can’t. So I tread water alone in the corner, watching and listening and feeling like an idiot for isolating myself.

Does anyone want you here in the first place?

Stop thinking like that.

I try to listen to Liz’s voice as a distraction. It’s muffled with echo, but it’s audible.

“With my AP scores, a bunch of my gen ed credits are already taken care of. But I want to take my other gen eds seriously. I have Global Ethics, Statistics, and World Journalism on Mondays and Wednesdays, then Into to Biological Chemistry and Public Relations on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

The words bounce from wall to wall, shadowing splashes and voices and little bright doses of laughter from the boys. I close my eyes for three seconds as if to catalog the moment. I have to admit, it’s pretty much perfect.

Then why do I feel so nervous?

In the same way that some days just feel so good, some nights just really, really don’t.

Flash catches my eye. God, here we go. He’s smirking.

“Hey!” he calls. “Y/N, you should join in! Hold on, let me clear you a spot.”

He jerks his body back to make Abe fall from his shoulders, hitting the water with a hard splash.

“There, now you have a place to sit,” Flash says, patting his own shoulders.

Abe stands up, shaking water from his ears before shoving Flash underwater. Ned laughs as Flash comes back up sputtering. Peter, on Ned’s shoulders, has little reaction. Michelle rolls her eyes and turns back to the girls’ conversation.

“It’s more fun watching, trust me.” Watching Peter shirtless, my brain adds.

Stop thinking about him. Despite his smile this morning (it was idiotic of me to think it meant anything significant), Peter has remained pretty cold to me today. Just like everyone else.

Michelle looks back our way again.

“Y/N and I will play,” she decides.

If I had more energy, if I weren’t feeling so despondent, and if it wasn’t her this-is-happening-don’t-argue voice, I might put up a better fight. Instead, I give a quiet defeated groan and make my way over to the shallow end. Most times it’s easier to do as she says.

“Michelle in a chicken fight?” Liz laughs, her voice reverberating on all sides of my head. “I can’t wait to see this.”

“Oh, no,” Michelle answers as she shakes her head. “Y/N is up top. I’m not getting involved in that business.”

I sigh.

“Abe, mind if I fight Flash this round?” I ask.

If I have to do this, I want to be against the one person I wouldn’t mind actually fighting.

“I think I’ll sit this one out,” Abe says. “I’m sick of him. Plus, if he has the chance, I know he’ll piss on me.”

Despite my exhaustion, I can’t help laughing a little. It’s definitely true. But if Abe sits out, there’s no chance that Ned or Peter will team up with Flash.

Flash knows this too. Shrugging, he follows Abe away from the center, saying hello to Liz.

Shit.

I climb onto Michelle’s shoulders, the air making me shiver, my ankles hanging just low enough to stay in the warm water. I stare blankly at the situation. It’s me and Michelle, Peter and Ned. And I’ve barely spoken to them since they all locked me out earlier. I wouldn’t want to disrupt their texting.

I do my best not to tug Michelle’s hair as I steady myself.

Now what?

Everybody else is talking again, Liz included. I’m glad their attention is elsewhere.

Staring at Peter, who’s staring at me, it’s clear neither of us knows what to do. Things have definitely gotten stale and weird between us over the last day, and weirder still over the last few hours. I feel like an idiot. But I’d be a moron to think it’s all because of that stupid hug. Something in our friendship is stuttering, I can feel it faltering and falling away.

Abruptly unstable ground - that’s what it is, I realize, looking at him. And everybody has been able to see it coming but me. How else could Flash see it?

Thinking of all the shitty ways Peter has ignored me today, yesterday, and this past week, I shove him with as much force as I can muster, knowing it’ll be nothing to him anyway.

Peter’s legs are over his head a moment later. If it were a real fall, it would have been instant. The rippling disturbance of the water churns up more chlorine fumes. I can feel a headache germinating at the base of my skull.

“Come on, Peter,” I say while he stands and pushes wet hair out of his eyes. “Don’t pretend to let me win.”

“You caught me off guard,” he says. All of the prior playful attitude he had with Abe is gone. He’s trying - I can actually see him trying - to seem blank.

What is his problem with me?

“No, I didn’t. Don’t lie. Get back up.”

He does. Ned’s expression is unreadable for once. Michelle pats my leg.

Ned and Michelle actually move around this time, both stepping to one side or the other with half steps back and forward. Peter keeps his hands on his knees, looking bored and glancing from MJ to her phone behind us. He won’t even look at me.

It pisses me off.

Michelle rolls one shoulder before lunging forward - a little hint. I shove Peter again, now resenting how stiff his muscles are beneath his stupid skin. And again he falls sideways, though faster this time.

Flash is whooping and making some stupid comment. Liz gives a surprised, “Oh, wow.” Sally and Cindy are talking, but I can’t tell whether it’s to me or someone else. Peter’s splash is echoing too much to hear a lot at the moment.

He stands up. His hands go to his hair. He looks at me and shrugs like Got me again, I guess.

The chlorine scent is hanging heavily over the room now like a pillow being slowly forced into my face. My headache pulses and creeps up behind my ear, beating my bone like a thick drum.

“Peter,” I say, teeth grinding, “this is going to get boring pretty quickly if you keep this up. Push back. Don’t you dare ‘let me win.’ I’m serious.”

My jaw is clenching as I try to pack my anger down into a little box between my ribs. A pressurized numbness climbs up my throat.

Shove it down.

Peter says nothing in reply but mounts Ned’s shoulders again. Ned is looking at Michelle, and though I can’t see her face, I know they’re having a silent conversation.

I nudge Michelle with my heel and she lunges forward again. I shove Peter’s left shoulder as hard as I can. Both shoulders hit the water at the same time. I know that no matter how hard I could ever hit him, it wouldn’t bother him a bit, yet the fact he’s clearly not even trying to play this one game that he was just playing with Flash and Abe is burning and biting at my tongue.

Peter stands lazily as if silently offering a forfeit.

Maybe he wants to get this game over with so he can talk to Liz.

“Get up, Peter,” I say as frustration spreads like fire through the ligaments of my arms. My irritation has reached my hairline.

Last week, I would never have doubted my friendship with Peter. Suddenly, I’m almost certain he wants nothing to do with me anymore. It scares me. A familiar dense pain pools in my lungs, a physical weight knocking my ribs into one another.

How did everything go so wrong so quickly?

Peter doesn’t move. I could kill him.

“Peter! Get up! Fight back, do something! This isn’t funny anymore. Why won’t you just do something?

At last, he looks me straight in the eye.

“What?” he shoots back. “What do you want me to do?”

He’s angry now too, blatantly. It’s worse than last night. I can see it, a red patch of irritation growing from his chest up to his neck. Neither of us has ever gotten like this. We’re not the kind of people who do. Not with one another, and certainly not in front of other people.

It’s a violently refreshing change: honesty.

“Anything! Stop messing around,” I say. “Just play the fucking game.”

“Maybe I’m sick of it,” he says, his hands open. “This whole stupid idea! I’m not playing anymore.”

What is he talking about? It’s been barely a minute of this game.

“MJ,” I say, “let me down.”

“Alright.”

She jerks back like Flash did to Abe. The water stings through my nostrils and the lining of my lungs. Is this just MJ being MJ or is she angry at me, too? And what about Ned, could he be mad at me?

What have they all been calling and texting each other about?

I wipe water from my face and open my eyes, stinging.

“Come on, Peter, play a game,” I mock, moving closer to him. He just stands there. “Play a game.”

I’ve been playing some sort of game for at least 24 hours now, maybe over a week, maybe even longer. He can too.

Peter doesn’t move a millimeter. I shove him. Nothing. His expression remains blank. He doesn’t fall, he doesn’t budge.

Peter!

I shove him again.

Nothing.

Michelle and Ned are creeping out of the water. Their waves are the only sound besides my echoing shout in the whole room. God, this is bad. I know starting some kind of fight isn’t going to increase my chances of leaving D.C. with any friends, but I almost can’t stop myself. I have to do something.

I move closer, face burning with an itch of fury.

What?” he says.

Michelle and Ned, blurry reflections I can see from the glass wall behind Peter, have grabbed their towels and are walking through the door.

Damn it. Where are they going?

Something is crushing inside my chest. I can feel my eyes brimming with tears.

Shove. Them. Down. I will not angry cry in front of my classmates right now. Absolutely not. Especially not with Flash and Liz here.

My hands start shaking instead as I grapple for a reply.

“Just- just do something, Peter!”

The muscles in his jaw are working and pulsing. I wonder what words he’s chewing - of course, I’ll likely never know because it seems Peter is refusing to tell me anything.

“That’s just it!” he shouts back. “What do you want me to do?!

That something in my chest is spasming, collapsing.

Peter’s chest is heaving and the red has reached his face. His words are fogging up my already pounding head.

That’s just it. What do you want me to do?

There are too many people here and as I notice their reflections standing over Peter’s shoulders with eyes glued to his face and my back, I realize I’ve just lost them too. In only the span of a couple minutes. The understanding hits me over the head and slices through my gut. I’ve ruined everything with everyone here, not just Peter and Ned and Michelle. They’ve never seen me like this and it’s too late to pretend to reverse it. There’s no way I’ll leave this trip with any friends.

It takes every particle of concentration to not let my emotions get the better of me and cry; especially when I’m still staring at Peter. The brown of his eyes seems darker than I’ve ever seen before and his brow is knotted up, hard.

The moment is so still and static.

Without warning, Peter smacks the water in front of me with one hand. It’s like a lukewarm tidal wave washing over my head, tangling my hair across my face.

My nose and lungs burn again. I gasped at the wrong second. In less than a moment though, it’s doused my nerves. I suddenly feel smaller than a child, humiliated.

“Are you kidding?

I don’t know if he or anyone hears me. The question was quiet and overcome by countless echoing splashes. It’s for the best: nobody can see my chin shaking at this distance so maybe if they didn’t hear the crack in my voice, I can pull myself together.

Guilt and regret seep into my skin as Peter climbs out of the pool. I want to apologize, but apologize for what? And fear, fear is mixing with those other emotions. A mountain of blurred emotions coated in black dread and red fear.

I take a breath and turn around.

Fuck.

Cindy, Sally, Abe, and Flash are just… staring. Worse, Liz is too. Of course, Michelle forgets her phone this one time.

The door closes with a bang behind Peter.

His towel is slung over one shoulder and water droplets spatter across the hallway floor as he storms through it. If I could get over him, if I could stop thinking about him for one day, stop thinking about him for one minute, my heart rate wouldn’t be leaping off the charts as I watch him. Actually, my heart rate might just be a result of me realizing how serious this is. The fact that four faces are still staring, now waiting for me to explode, likely doesn’t help slow it down either.

“Guys,” Liz’s voice calls. “Come on. Don’t make this weird.”

Flash laughs. Hard.

“It’s super weird completely on its own! Man, what was that?”

Tension loosening its hold on the room, Flash is back to himself, looking astonished and amused beyond belief.

“Flash, seriously. Let it be,” Liz snaps at him. When she looks at me, her expression softens. “Don’t let Peter Parker get in your head. He can… be like that sometimes. He might just be going through something.”

I know what he’s like, I think. I’ve been friends with him for longer than one Homecoming date. Liz is trying, at least, and I do appreciate the thought.

“Yeah,” I say, nodding.

She mirrors the motion.

“I should go before my roommate gets back to study. And Y/N, if you ever want to talk, I’d like to hear from you again. From any of you guys. Anyway, good luck everyone! I’m sure tomorrow will be great.”

The room dissolves into Goodbye!’s. I use the distraction to get my towel and phone and slip out.

What have I done?

Part 8

Next Update: Friday, October 20

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I’d love to hear from you!

Also - if you want to be added to the tag list, reply to this post or send me a message.

And I apologize for the typos I’m sure were in this part. I didn’t have much time to proofread. 

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Reading List

I have a ton of fics currently sitting in my iBooks / bookmarks, and I’d appreciate y’all providing commentary as to which fics I should read first, which fics you’ve loved, etc. 

So please go ahead and rec me your favorites!

Crossed out fics mean that they’ve already been rec’d and are in my queue. All other fics are fair game to yell at me to read.

Current Fic Count: 288
last updated: october 17, 2017

(All fics are under the cut.)

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Affirmations to help build positive self talk<3
  1. All is always well. 
  2. I am confident and capable.
  3. I attract positive people in my life.
  4. I know who I am and I am enough.
  5. The positive energy around me is continuously expanding.
  6. I choose to be present and mindful right now.
  7. I am grateful for my miraculous life.
  8. I choose to think positive thoughts that serve me.
  9. I fulfill the promises I make to myself and others.
  10. I love sharing my happiness with everyone around me.
  11. I feel energetic and so alive.
  12. I am in control of the way I respond to the behavior of others.
  13. I have the will. I have the way.
  14. I am love, peace, hope, joy, truth and positive, radiant light!
  15. I forgive and release. I am filling my heart and mind with love.
  16. All of my needs are met. I thrive from where I am right now.
  17. I inhale positivity and exhale negativity.
  18. I fuel my body with health and activity.
  19. I am talented, creative and successful.
  20. Like the waves of an ocean, peace washes over me; cleansing and rejuvenating my spirit.
  21. I choose to reach for a better feeling.
  22. I grow stronger every day.
  23. I speak kindly to myself and others. 
  24. My life is unfolding perfectly.
  25. I choose to see everyone as an opportunity and search for solutions.
I’m sorry.

I was supposed to post this after the Clark drabble but I got side-tracked with a lot of other things (mainly playing The Sims 4!) which is why this is only going up now! I have toying with this idea for a while so I decided to write it down and see how it turned out. It’s probably short but I hope you would still enjoy this nevertheless! A little over 1000 words for this.

A little background info: Y/N and Bruce have been dating for over a year and a year ago, Batman came to Gotham. Y/N does not know that Bruce and Batman are one and the same.


The moment Bruce walks through the door he knows he is in deep trouble. Whether it is the silent threat looming in the air, the stiffness of your body and straight posture or that angry look you have on your face. It normally takes him a lot to get him to feel scared in his own home but right at this moment, he isn’t quite sure.

You simply watch Bruce quickly shrug his jacket and kicking his shoes off, carefully approaching you. “Y/N,” Bruce starts but you hold up your hand, narrowing your eyes at him.

You shake your head. “Don’t even start with me, Bruce!” You tried to keep your voice leveled and not let your anger get the best of you but honestly, it is starting to be such a hard thing to do and you aren’t even sure if you can keep your emotions at bay anymore. “This isn’t the first time you have done this and God forbids this to be the last too!” You exclaim. “I have been waiting for you for over four hours – I’m not asking for a lot, just that you give me a few hours of your time once a week: you told me you would be home by five the latest and this is almost eleven!”

Bruce winces with guilt, slightly taken back by your stern tone. He is rarely ever at the receiving end of this – the bubbling angry side of you – and if he is being quite honest, he rather not be at the receiving end ever again. He plans on keeping it that way too. He would have gone back earlier – he should have – but he had been too engrossed in all of his work and chasing bad guys to even remember the promise he had made you.

“I am really sorry, Y/N but you know how – “

You fall on to the sofa and cross your arms over your chest. “Do I not mean anything to you anymore, Bruce? Because… because if so, please just let me go.” You hated how weak you sounded. Truth be told, if Bruce actually lets you go, you don’t really think you would be able to survive – he is your light and the love of your life. You are so overwhelmed with the feeling of defeat and resignation that you did not even notice Bruce sitting beside you on the sofa, tentatively reaching out to hold your hands.

You did not even bother to look at him – you don’t want him to see you crying. “Y/N, you’re wrong: you mean the world to me.” You shake your head and Bruce swears he feels his heart breaking slowly. Something stabs him in the chest and his mouth suddenly feels dry.

“You always say you’re sorry, Bruce but nothing ever changes – they are just empty words.” You try to pull your hands away from his hold but Bruce tightens the hold he has on your hands, afraid that if he actually lets you go, he will lose you forever.

At this point, Bruce decides he really does not think he can bear the distance between the two of you any longer and pulls you closer to him.

You tried your hardest to not move from your spot on the sofa but alas, Bruce is bigger and stronger than you. Soft fingers trace gently circles over your cheeks, causing you to almost let out a sob. You have missed this – you have missed him.

“Look at me, Y/N,” His words are shaky. “Please.”

You raise your head to look at Bruce and is surprised to see the misty redness covering his eyes. For as long as you have seen Bruce, you have never seen him cry for he has a habit of suppressing all of emotions and seeing this rare display, you aren’t quite sure you know how to deal with this.

“You’re right, absolutely right. I have been too focused on work and it’s really not fair for you. No amount of sorry can express just how regretful I am right now and you’re always so patient with me and I don’t want to lose you.” Bruce breaks off before taking a deep breath. “There’s something I want to show you, Y/N but before that,” Bruce clears his throat. “I love you, Y/N.”

You bite your bottom lip. “I don’t know if you’re serious about us or if you’re just saying this to appease me, Bruce.” You tell him weakly. Bruce continues to talk but you have started to tune him out in favour of just watching him: the panic in his eyes is enough to convince you of how sincere he is.

“I was going to wait until the end of the week but now is as good as any day… The reason why I have been so busy at work is not because of work. Not in the sense you think. I am Batman.”

You place your hand on Bruce’s mouth to stop him from talking anymore. You have had your doubts about his night activities – there were a lot of signs that pointed to Bruce being The Batman but to actually hear the confirmation from your lover, it makes it all the more real. “Bruce, I believe you.”

Bruce wraps his arms around you, holding you so close to him that you can practically feel your heart beating. As much as he has hurt you, you definitely cannot stand seeing the man you are in love with in pain.

“I want in on it, Bruce. I have had my suspicions about you being Batman but thank you for trusting me enough to tell me, Bruce.” You tell him as you wrap your arms around his body.

Bruce nods his head. Whatever it takes for you to forgive him. He doesn’t think he will ever take you for granted again. You are his rock – have been his rock ever since that fateful day a year ago – the person who has stuck with him through a whole lot of ups and downs and a whole lot of scrutiny from the society and he definitely cannot imagine a life without you in it.