i am the muffin man

Interviews Ain't Free- S.M. Imagine:

Requested: No💛
Reader x Shawn Mendes
Word Count: 1,359
Warnings: the traditional P “trash,” some stripper Shawn, some hot smut, and some drug usage 🙈😘👑

EXTRA WARNING!!!!: THIS SMUT IS A BIT MORE DETAILED AS IT IS BASED OFF THE SONG KISS LAND BY THE WEEKND😻

Wattpad: cherrybombdaizies🍒

I walked blocks and blocks until I reached the club in which I was assigned. I was a famous journalist for Rolling Stones magazine and I was on my latest  breakthrough assignment, an interview with THE Shawn Mendes. He has been creating quite a stir in the media with his “leaked” Flaunt magazine shoot, but his latest was the performance he had set up in a popular downtown LA “adult” club with a predominately female attendance. Apparently Mr. Mendes was known for his wholesome good boy charisma and charm but I had heard this Shawn was quite the opposition of the Shawn in which we saw.
“I.D.?” asked the bouncer
“Y/F/N Y/L/N with Rolling Stones.” I say and show my badge as he unclapse the rope
I walk in an immediately thank my roommate in undergrad school for taking me to parties. Number one I smelt the pot that was being smoked or that had been smoked, two I had dressed wildly appropriate for this setting and three I needed some water or I might have a mild breakdown and exit the club.
“My partygoers, let’s give a warm Club X-stasy welcome to Shawn Mendes like you’ve never seen before!” shouted the DJ
I watched as he stepped on stage, his flannel unbuttoned and showing his chiseled physique.
I heard a familiar song come on and I recognized it from Magic Mike as Pony by Ginuwine.
“Is that Shawn Mendes?” I asked the female bartender who was making my drink
“That indeed is your wholesome Canadian boy next door about to strip for our Funky Friday.” she laughed

I watched as he pulled off clothing piece by piece and dry humped the stage and even teased his boxer waistband as the girls threw bills at him.
Why did no one ever see this Shawn? This Shawn undoubtedly made me need to use the ladies room and butter my own muffin.
As the “show” ended, I gathered myself to go backstage and conduct my interview with singer and boy next door by day turned ravage stripper by night apparently.
“And who are you?” asked the big burly bouncer protecting the way to the dressing room
“I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N with Rolling Stones and I am here to interview uhm Shawn M-Mendes.” I stammered
“Yo Muffin Man, we got a pretty young thing out here prepared to interview you.” say the bouncer
“Send her in Frank.” the husky voice says from the other side of the door
I walk in to see a girl on her knees in front of him.
“You can go sweet cheeks.” he says slapping her ass and zipping his jeans
“Nice to meet you chessecake, I’m Shawn but everyone around here calls me Muffin Man and you can call me daddy.” Shawn says
“Uhm okay well I'm  Y/F/N Y/L/N and I’m from Rolling Stones and uhm I didn’t know you stripped and I prefer Shawn if that’s okay.” I say
“New found excitement, but uh suit yourself cheesecake, Daddy still loves ya Princess.” He smirks
“Right.” I mumble
“So what’s it cheesecake, I have another show in 20.” Shawn smirks and adjust his bulge in his pants
“Well uhm I heard you are doing iHeart Radio’s Jingle Ball tour and also your Illuminate tour. How is that coming along?” I ask and prepare to scribble my answers down
“It isn’t the only thing coming..” he paused with a smirk and an obscene flick of his tongue
“… but it is well in addition to the Muffin Man acts.” Shawn says
“Right! So why is your sophomore album called Illuminate?” I ask
“I dunno cheesecake, irony cause I illuminate the stage.” He laughs cockily
“You know you’re not the Shawn Mendes, I remember or pictured having the pleasure to interview.” I say sternly
“Oh my sweet cheesecake I can give you so much pleasure.” Shawn smirks and cuts a line of coke
“Why all of this?! You have so much going for you!” I shout
“My sweet sweet cheesecake, because sex sells. The sex that just makes you want to claw your pretty fucking eyes out and squeeze your legs so tight then finger fuck yourself under the blanket. Sex and rage sells.” Shawn says and wipes the remnants of coke off his perfect nose
“Yeah for you maybe.” I huff
I watch as his once creamy brown eyes turn black and he flips the table in front of him walking towards me with rage.
“I wouldn’t if I were you! I could ruin your reputation.” I challenge
“And I could ruin your panties, if you haven’t already came in them.” He says and gets closer, his warm breath fanning my nose
“You think people like you turn me on and make me wet? Dream on! You are a phony coke addict who treats people like shit!” I spit with the most venom I can muster
I feel his fingers snake in my panties.
“Mhm my little cheesecake look at this.” He says and sucks his finger
“Fuck you!” I say
“You want me too, see you my pumpkin are just a groupie in disguse.” He smirks and fingers inside me
“See already dreaming about finger fucking yourself under your blanket.” He says and slides his ring and middle finger in and out
“S-stop.” I try to be stern
“Oh my cheesecake, why? You are so wet, and ready for the Muffin Man.” He smiles
“You are animal! A disgusting fake animal.” I say and clench my thighs tighter
“Then why are you trying to ride my fingers?” He smirks and tears the thin panties covering beneath my best party dress
“Open wider!” He commands and lays a slap to my butt
His head disappearing under my dress as his breath fans my crotch and attaches.
“Fuck.” I moan and bite my lip
“I heard that cheesecake.” He growls and disappears again
I closes my eyes, replaying his sex sales spill and praying I’m close because he is torturing me.
I bite my lip harder, tasting the faint hints of blood coming from my lips
“Uhm Shawn.” I whimper
“Yes cheesecake?” He says
“I’m close.” I whisper innocently
“Ride my tongue.” He smirks and places himself as he finishes me off
He sits back on the couch, undoing his pants pulling out the most impressive length..
“Sit.” He growls and places me on him
“You’re so big.” I gasp and my eyes bug as my core expands unworldly around his base
“Move whenever you want cheesecake.” He says
“Call anything besides that!” I huff and swivel my hips to find my g-spot
“What’s your name?” He asks
“Y/N.” I say and move on top of him
“I like cheesecake better.” He growls trying to push more inside
“Call me whatever then.” I say and move my body on top
“Are you enjoying this?” He asks
“If you shut up I’d enjoy it more.” I say
I couldn’t lie despite all the callous things I said, he was right sex sells and his sex is worth millions to me.
“Right there.” I moaned
He picked me up with all his power and bent me over in front of his mirror in his dressing room
“Watch as I fuck you.” He says
I watch in the full length mirror as he slides in amd out of my hole, taking out every inch then replacing it.
“Shawn.” I whimper
“You have the prettiest pussy.” He growls in my ear
“Harder.” I muster
“I’m going to show you something you’ve never seen soon before long.” He chuckles menacingly
My legs quiver as my second orgasm approaches and I try to hang on
“Open wider cheesecake.” He says laying a gentle slap to my core
I watch with intent as he leaves his tip inside me and I feel warmth.
“W-what?” I groan with my weak voice
“Look!” He growls
I watch in the mirror as white drips from me and onto the satin black carpeting.
“My little yummy delicious creampie, for my cheesecake.” He says

Anything You Say

Pairing: Dan x Reader

A/N: [Y/N] your name]

Warnings: swearing but tbh you should expect that by now lmao

Send us requests:)

“Daaaaaannnnn” you whined.
“Baaaabbbbbeeeeee”
“I’m kinda hungry but not really”
“Well what does that mean?” Dan asked, looking up from his laptop.
“I want to eat but no like.. food.. I want something sweet, you know?”
“I’m sweet, have me,” he said with a wink.
“Dan shut the fuck up no!” you snorted. “Not right now anyway,” you finished, returning the wink.
“Promise?”
“We’ll see, now get your mind off the do and help me.. with the food situation,” you added quickly, and Dan laughed. “You know what I mean though. I want cookies or muffins oh my god muffins would be so good! Do we have muffins?”
“Nope, Phil finished them off last night, sorry chick”
“Well that fucking sucks”
“So do y-”
“Do not do it Daniel, do not go there,” you scolded.
“Okay, okay I’m done!”

“Dan!”
“[Y/N]!”
“I just had the best idea!”
“This doesn’t sound good,” Dan mumbled. “Anyway, what are you thinking?”
“We should make muffins!”
“You mean you should make muffins”
“No, we, we should make muffins. We as in us, and in me and you like [Y/N] and Dan,” you said, standing up from your place on the sofa.
“But I’m comfortable,” he whined.
“If you don’t help bake, you’re not getting any muffins”
“Uggghhhhh”
“Come on bubs!” you smiled, ruffling his hair before walking out of the lounge and towards the kitchen.

“Dan, what’s taking so long?” you called, putting the mixing bowl on the counter. Just then, you felt a pair of hands snake around you waist, coming together in front of you. “I’m here,” Dan hummed before pressing a kiss to your neck. You turned around in his arms so that you were now facing him and stole a kiss. “What took so long?” you asked.
“Camera”
“What?”
“Well I figured that if you were going to make me bake, I might as well get a video out of it. Are you okay with being in a video? Because I can forget about it if you don’t want to,” he smiled.
“Ummm”
“What’s up?”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to get loads of shit because I’m in a video,” you sighed, looking at your feet.
“I won’t, they love you! And even if I do, fuck them.”
“Are you sure? Like really sure?”
“Babe, they love you! Remember when you were in my liveshow for like a whole 10 minutes last month?”
“Yeah,” you hummed, smiling at the memory. “Yeah okay, fine let’s do this”
“Thank you,” Dan smiled and placed a gentle kiss to your lips.

“Now, throw in the flour”
“Throw the flour?” Dan asked, a hint of mischief in his eyes.
“Yeah, into the b-” You were too late, and now you were covered in flour.
“DAN!” you squealed, but he was too busy laughing to reply. With that, you grabbed the bag of chocolate chips that were resting on the counter and started to pelt them at Dan, one by one. “What the fuck is? What are you hitting me with? What is that oh my god!” Dan screamed as you continued to hit him with the chips. “Okay, okay you win! Cease fire!” he called over your laughs.
“Damn right I win, now back to my soon to be muffin babies!”

“Now whisk!”
“I got this, I am a man! I can whisk until the cows come home!” Dan announced proudly.
“Oh my god,” you smirked.
“What? What are you smirking at?” Dan asked as he began to bring the ingredients together with the electric whisk.
“You! A man! Oh my g-”
“I am a man hush!”
“You are but a mere child,” you giggled.
“Oh I’m a child, am I?” he asked, turning the mixer off. “Would a child do this?” Dan leaned in to kiss you and brought his hand towards you to cup your cheek. What you didn’t realize was that his fingers were covered in the mix, and so, instead of the sweet kiss you were expecting, you got a face full of batter.
“DAN DID YOU JUST?”
“Fucking right I did!”
“C'mere”
“Noooooooo”
“Seriously, c'mere,” you smiled.
“Nope you’re going to do something,” Dan said, shaking his head as he retreated backwards.
“NO FUCKING SHIT” you called as you collected batter on your fingers and through it at him.
“YOU THREW SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK”
“YOU GOT IT IN MY HAIR I HAD TO”
“I WILL GET MY REVENGE” Dan shouted as he began to speedily make his way over to you. Neither of you had realized the batter on the floor though and as Dan slipped, you seen this 6ft meme coming crashing towards you. “DAN” you shrieked as he fell on top of you. This of course resulted in you falling onto the floor with your boyfriend crushing you. “Hey, anything you say can and will be held against you, so only say my name and-”
“Dan! Now is not the time to be quoting fall out boy,” you laughed, hitting his shoulder. “By the way, you’re crushing me, very soon I will be nothing but pulp”
“Ssshhhhh” Dan whispered before kissing you.
“Oh hey guys what happen- I’M CLEARLY INTERRUPTING SOMETHING I’LL JUST GO” Phil rushed as he practically ran out of the kitchen. With that, you and Dan erupted into a fit laughter. “Dan, go help him! He doesn’t know what just happened,” you snickered. “Why can’t you?” he laughed.
“Because you’re literally crushing me”
“Not any more,” Dan smiled as he put his forearms on either side of your head to take some of the weight off of you.
“Great thanks”
“You’re welcome,” Dan said, pecking your lips.
“Just go and make sure Phil is okay, I’ll clean up”
“Ugh fine” Dan groaned, kissed you on final time and went to check on Phil.
You however, stayed lying on the floor in the batter for a few more minutes and just let thoughts rush through your head for a bit. You smiled to yourself knowing that the video you had been recording would never make it to Youtube, but instead would be kept as something private that you and Dan could look back on. You slowly stood up and moved so that you were in front of the camera. “Look at me.. I’m a mess,” you said, as you grabbed the camera off of the tripod. “And it is entirely your fault Howell,” you continued, sitting up on the counter top and holding the camera at arms length. “I would say something sweet and mushy, but that’s not really me.. so anyway I-”

“Babe who are you talking to?” Dan asked from the sitting room. You looked with your eyes wide towards the camera. “No one really, just myself,” you called back in response.
“Okay, just checking you’re okay”
“I am.. hey bubs?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you”
“I love you more”
“I love you most” you smiled.
“Nah” Dan replied. You could hear him making his way around the flat, towards the kitchen. “Shit, fuck you’re coming,” you whispered to the camera.
You jumped down from the counter, put the camera back onto the tripod and quickly grabbed a tea towel, using it to brush the flour off your shirt as Dan entered the room. “Alright?” he asked. “Mhmmm just trying to get some of this shit off of me,” you said, pulling at your shirt. “You could just take the shirt off,” Dan winked. “I am not going to walk around the apartment in my bra when Phil is here! He already thinks he walked in on us almost frick fracking on the kitchen floor today he doesn’t need to be scarred anymore than he already is!”
“So you would if he wasn’t here? Because I can get him to leave”
“Fuck off!” you giggled, hitting his chest.
“You know I love you right? Even if you do abuse me,” Dan smiled.
“You’ve mentioned it once or twice,” you said, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck, your fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I love you too, even if it means I occasionally have batter in my hair and flour down my top, which by the way is definitely your fault”

“Oh hush” Dan mumbled. He leaned down slowly and stole a kiss. An then another. And another. “Hey Dan,” you said, pulling away and he hummed in response. “I think the camera is still on,” you blushed. “Oh fuck, yeah sorry,” he rushed once he realized what you had said. He broke away from the hug you had been sharing and went to stop the recording. When his back was turned to you, you blew a kiss at the camera just in the nick of time so that it would make it into the video.

x