i am terrible at puns

hc

One day Cynthia admits to Evan that Connor used to love jokes, like how she did in A Little Bit of Light (;-;), and Evan makes it his life goal to get Connor to laugh at those types of cheesy jokes he used to love.

He’d try knock knock jokes, some classics, a large variety of puns, he even went out of his way to find some to appeal to Connor’s darker sense of humor, all to little or no avail.

(Connor chucked at a dirty joke one time that left Evan a blushing mess but at least he got that small victory)

One day they skip lunch together in the library, Evan writing a mythology paper and Connor reading something for English. It’s a pretty normal afternoon, Connor intermittently complaining about his book as Evan struggles to remember the countless Greek stories he’s analyzing.

“I mean this guy fucked his own mom, who writes this stuff?”

And suddenly the answer is there, right in front of him. Evan looks between his friend’s book and his own paper. This was it, this was his chance.

“If Oedipus and King Midas met, it’d be pure m-motherfucking gold.”

Evan never really liked to swear, but it was nessesary for the joke. Besides, watching Connor freeze on the spot, slowly lower his book, and break into hysterics was well worth the profanity.

They end up getting kicked out of the library because Connor is hyperventilating and Evan can’t really hold back his snort-laughter, and Evan’s so triumphant he can barely apologize to the librarian with a straight face as they’re escorted out of the room.

More doodlesketches, this time Joly (and a few others!) ,just getting back into the habit.

My Joly never looks as skinny as he is in my head. :>but he’s a teeny guy! 

Rhett and that cactus sweater sure do make quite the prickly pear. One could even say he looks sharp in it. Sorry if these puns succulent… What do you say we move on to some Rhett + cacti appreciation? 🌵💗

Originally posted by graveyard-whistler

Originally posted by chiasquatch

Originally posted by graveyard-whistler

Originally posted by graveyard-whistler

Originally posted by jacularmetteld

Originally posted by jacularmetteld

rubs my temples

if i have to read another person shitting on dream daddy solely because it was supported by game grumps im going to pop a blood vessel because like

it is supported by game grumps? and while they’re not inherently bad guys, they’ve got a tiny track record for being a bit low brow at times. they coulda gone through this and picked some pretty low-hanging fruit as my friend put it and implemented some less than stellar things into the game or pressured the team behind it into doing so but they didn’t

they came out with actually a very heartfelt and kind game with a multitude of respectful representations and people just want to shoot it down because 1. its main stream or 2. it’s name alone lmfao, ooooor 3. game grumps name is on it.

like, i don’t like game grumps

but i’m sure as fuck going to support a game that has healthy and respectful representations of gay/pan/bi/trans characters.

4

If there is hope, it lies in the pearls.

Or, some Pearletariat in revolt and resistance propaganda shaking the foundations of Homeworld society, with concepts based on a great big headcanon jam with projectormom (do check out the gem caste uprising tag) and jeejyboard.

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Fire and Ice

Originally posted by narnianwitch

Pyro x Reader

Fire and Ice

Author: Morgan

Prompt: Maybe Pyro x reader where she is some kind of ice mutant? So there’s this natural tension because of their mutation and it either gets really smutty or really fluffy.

Note: Yaaaaaassss Pyro!

Warnings: Terrible puns. I am sorry. (No I’m not.) and Swears.

It was a nice, winter afternoon at the X Mansion. You were in your favorite spot in the mansion: right in front of the fireplace. Being an ice-bender meant lots of sweaters, lots of shivers, and most of all, being cold all. the. time.

You were wrapped up in a nice knit grey sweater with several layers and a scarf on, sipping from a mug of hot cocoa, and shivering in front of the flickering flames. John walked in, wearing only a wife-beater and jeans, flicking the cap of his lighter open and closing it, as was his little habit.

“Hey there, shivers. What’s up?”

“Not much.” You replied, sipping from your mug, but not looking up from the paper and ink in your hands.

“You know, Bobby never gets as cold as you do, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe, hothead.” you chuckled. “And it’s because Bobby has a lid on his powers. I do not.”

“Hothead, huh?” John chuckled, pulling the fire from the fireplace and manifesting it in his hand. You became colder, if that was possible and tugged at the sleeves of your sweater.

“John! Not cool!”

“Admit you like me.”

“What? No! Put the fire back and get out of here!”

“Why? Are you too cool for me?”

“John!”

John closed his fist, putting out the fire. He shrugged, smirking.

“Oops.”

“Asshole,” you grumbled, your fingertips beginning to lose feeling.

“Why do you need fire when you’ve got me? I swear, I give off heat like a fucking furnace.” John hopped over the back of the couch and sat beside you. He pulled you to his chest, and though you were hesitant at first, you melted into his touch. He was right. He was so warm.

John laid down on the couch with you on top of him. You rested your head on his chest and pulled your blanket up around the both of you. He gently brushed the stray strands of hair out of your face as you finally, finally stopped shivering.

“God, you’re so cold,” he said with genuine concern. You nodded.

“I’m used to it.”

“You don’t have to be. How about I make you a deal? I’ll keep you warm in the winter, you keep my cold in the summer. Deal?”

“Deal,” you sighed, snuggling deeper into his warmth.

“Oh, and uh, one more thing.”

“Hmm?”

“Go out with me.”

“Well…” you pretended to think about it, but tilted your head up to press an icy kiss to his cheek, causing him to smile. “I guess that’ll have to do. You know what they say. Opposites attract.”