i am teddy

  • Albus: Teddy, pretend to be my mom to Scorpius's mom.
  • Teddy: [picks up the phone] Hello? This is...Mum Potter. The children are playing swords. Sorry. Playing with swords. Oh no. They are dead. Do not call again. [hangs up]
  • Scorpius and Albus: ...
  • Teddy: Sorry, I panicked.
An Incredibly Minor Yet Underrated Marvel Character

SO imagine this. You are a member of an proud and violent warrior race. You are the handmaiden to the less violent, but probably still p proud Princess of the intergalactic empire that most of your race belongs to. One day, your Princess, whom you have served loyally for many years, gets into some bullshit star-crossed lover biz with a man who is 1) a member of the race your race has been fighting since basically forever, B) A member of the organization that has consistently opposed your empire, and Lastly) who lives on a different planet and is therefore not gonna be around when she predictably finds out she is having his goddamn baby, because of course she is. 

So your Princess has this illegitimate half alien baby now, and her Dad (your Emperor) is like “wow, no” and tries to have it executed on the grounds of he doesn’t like it and he’s in goddamned charge. And the Princess is looking at you, and her eyes are doing that thing were they’re really big and sad, and her lips all pout-y, and if you had the frame of reference you would totally call her out on doing the puppy eye thing but you don’t. So what do you do?

You take the weird hybrid baby to his baby daddy, effectively exiling yourself from your home planet, to go live on a planet were Everyone Actually Really Totally Hates You, also known as Earth(y). 

Sadly, when you get to earth, were you expect to find help from the legendary super-powered princess impregnating warrior hero guy and his buds, you find that the guy has quite rudely kicked the bucket. So here you are, on a hostile alien planet, with no one to help your exiled self or your exiled prince who is half a species you have almost no experience with and also has a price on his head despite the fact he is not yet strong enough to lift said head without help. So again, what do you do?

You become a realtor.  

Yeah, that’s right. You get a fucking job. You settle the fuck down. You take a fucking Pilates class. You raise the weird fucking hybrid baby. In fact, you do not just raise the weird fucking hybrid baby; You love and cherish the weird fucking hybrid baby. You teach the exiled heir to your proud, violent, warrior race to be a sweet ‘lil nerd, who loves pokemon, and comic books, and tries to talk through confrontations, and occasionally hits you with those puppy-dog eyes that got you into this mess in the first place. You don’t complain though. You don’t complain when you’re Prince gets sick and there is literally no one on earth to turn to (because who on earth has ever seen a skrull/kree hybrid, much less treated one?). You don’t complain when you hear Galactus destroys your homeworld and everyone on it (how can you explain to your Prince that you’re grieving for his mother when you’re right there?). You don’t complain when the Super-Skrull burst through the wall of you adopted son’s friend-who-is-totally-not-his-boyfriend-mom-oh-my-god’s apartment and demands your baby go with him. Because you are not someone who backs down from a challenge. 

You pull out a gun and you challenge the greatest warrior of your proud, violent warrior race.

You lose. 

You die. 

But it’s all right. Your son’s not-boyfriend will save him. Your weird alien hybrid baby will become a weird alien hybrid hero, and later, a weird alien hybrid King. Somewhere, your Princess and her bullshit star-crossed lover are very proud. Somewhere else, the galaxies worst Grandfather is very furious. But you, well. Who even are you?

I don’t know. Because the writers never bothered giving you a name. It’s all right though. You know why?

Because I love you. 

i have a question

hi hello ok so if a metamorphmagus girl or a girl who is taking a polyjuice potion is pregnant and decides to morph into a man, what happens to the child????

do u only morph your appearance but you still keep your organs (the damn uterus !!!!!) or do u morph the entire body including the organs? can u keep ur uterus while u morph into a man? where does the baby go? does it morph with u? was tonks able to morph into a man while she was pregnant of teddy without harming him? where did teddy go if she morphed and her uterus was gone? what happens?!!!! where do they go????!!! are they alright??? if dora was keeping her pregnancy a secret by morphing her tummy into looking flat WHERE THE FUCK DID TEDDY GO????? what HAPPENS???!!!!!!!!!!! i don’t know!!!!!!!!!

i need ANSWERS and i need them NOW!!!!!!!! tell me what the hell happens please i am suffering

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT IN THE YEAR 2016 ALL MY CANON GAY OTPS ARE HAPPY LIKE

Teddy and Billy – happily married with a child

Malec – dropping steles and jilting weddings

Philkas – pushing off broken down bikes while giggling

Zimbits – pretending to be subtle

Wolfyuu – ruling a kingdom together with their adopted daughter

Viktuuri – engaged

2min – burning each other in cars

I’m so happy.

Wolfstar AU

Headcanon where wizarding world is all just the dreams of a little boy called Remus Lupin, induced from the drugs he takes for his illness. He tells his mum he’s a werewolf wizard and she smiles at him as another blood test is sent off for inspection.

They don’t go away, over the years, in fact they get more vivid. But Remus doesn’t mind, he likes dreaming about magic and going to school and the three boys who are his friends when he goes to sleep. It’s a little weird that sometimes he dreams up a character and they appear in real life, like the werewolf that bit him in his dream world looking exactly like that guy who was convicted of murder, or the Headmaster of the magic school being his new doctor, but it’s not the weirdest thing going on his life so he just shrugs every time it happens.

But then his dreams start turning into nightmares. He’s older in his dreams, than he is in real life, and there’s this guy called Voldemort who is killing people, and all his dream friends don’t trust him and people keep dying in his dreams and he’s so, so scared that they’ll die in real life, like Marlene, the girl who sometimes shows up for checkups when he’s at the hospital for a long stay, she has these vividly coloured wigs that always make him smile. And then it happens. And he’s as alone in his head as he is in the real world. He wakes up crying that night, and refuses tell anyone why because he knows it’s not real but it still hurts.

When Sirius shows up in the real world a couple of months later, all cheeky grins and ridiculously good looks like in his dreams, Remus refuses to talk to him. He knows it’s stupid. This stranger doesn’t know he betrayed his friends in Remus’ head, God, he doesn’t even know the sarcastic boy, with the messy curls in the bed next to his, creepily dreamt up a magic world he has somehow starred in since he was eleven.

He doesn’t stop trying to talk to Remus though. Not even when Remus snaps and screams, “I just can’t trust you, okay?!” one night when the dreams and his illness and his imagined broken friendship with the boy becomes too much. Not when, a couple of weeks later Remus starts saying the name, Harry in his sleep like a complete nutter. Not when Remus wakes up gasping, covered in sweat, and stumbles over to Sirius’ bed, amber eyes wide and repeating the words “it was Peter”, and “I’m sorry” over and over.

Sirius just wiggles his way firmly into Remus’ life, telling bad jokes, ranting about his latest book series, or the merits of Punkrock vs that ‘swotty librarian look you’ve got going on’. And eventually Remus stops questioning why Sirius likes Remus so much even when he was a complete twat to him for almost two months. He comforts Sirius when the chemo takes his hair, Sirius lends him all the books he could ever want, they go through good days and bad days and everything is great. And then Sirius falls through the veil in his dream, and Remus wakes up to find that his real world Sirius has relapsed. And he cries for near on two hours. Because this is it, he finally has a friend, and his stupid fucking dreams have jinxed it.

But Sirius gets better, gets stronger, stops looking like a skeleton. It still takes Remus a while to stop waking up expecting the worst.

Soon Remus is released, his new medication seems to be working well. So well, in fact, he gets to go to school a few days each week. He meets a boy named James who almost gives him a bloody heart attack the first time they bump into each other. Also a boy named Peter. He doesn’t like Peter but feels guilty each time he snaps at the poor guy, it takes a while for Remus to soften towards him, but he does. He still visits Sirius every week until he is released.

They don’t start dating until Remus dreams his own death and wakes up in the hospital three days later after a serious relapse, staring up into a pair of puffy, grey eyes. Sirius stares down at him, face blotchy but beaming with a wide grin. “If I wasn’t scared it would accidentally set you off again, Mr Lupin, I would kiss you right now.”

The dreams stop abruptly after that. But Remus’ life goes on. Sometimes, when he looks at his godson, Harry, he has to blink away the image of a lightning shaped scar. Sometimes he looks up at the full moon, and he laughs his own private “fuck you”. Sometimes when he looks at the silver streaks in Sirius’ hair he has to bite his lip to stop himself from crying for the man in his head who would never get to whine about how it “makes me look dashing! I’m not old, I’m experienced”. Sometimes he hugs his son, Teddy, tightly and doesn’t let go for a long time. Especially when the kid dyed his hair blue.

@mechengmama‘s request: Drarry babysits Teddy?

I am 100% for this. Also this is so so long bc I loved writing it sorrryyy

My Writing


“Draco come on, we have to go.”

Draco glared at his boyfriend.

“I don’t see why we have to go. If I recall correctly, you were asked to babysit, not me.”

Harry rolled his eyes.

You are coming because you love me. And because Teddy is your cousin and I think it would be nice if the two of you got to know each other.”

Draco let out a long, dramatic sigh, but got up so they could leave.

Harry grinned and took his arm so they could apparate to Andromeda’s.

Before they knocked on the door, Harry turned to Draco.

“Andromeda is your aunt, so please just be nice for the five minutes you have to see her before she leaves.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Draco grumbled and knocked on the door.

They were met with a woman who at first glance, looked shockingly similar to Bellatrix. Draco was taken aback for a moment, but then after looking closer, realized this woman was much prettier, and had a very kind look to her, unlike Bellatrix’s crazy look.

“Hello, Andromeda,” Harry greeted and then stepped forward to give her a hug.

Draco stood back awkwardly.

“This is Draco. He’s my, uh, boyfriend. I hope it’s okay that he came along. I just thought that since he and Teddy are cousins-”

But Harry was cut off by Andromeda immediately taking Draco into her arms. Draco was stiff at first, but then relaxed into the hug, slowly hugging her back. He still looked uncomfortable, though, when she released him. Harry smiled at his effort.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Draco. Well why don’t you two come in, then. Teddy has been going on all week about how excited he is to see you, Harry. I’m sure he will be pleased to have a second person to play with as well.” She smiled at Draco who hesitantly smiled back.

They walked through the house and up the stairs to what Draco assumed to be Teddy’s room. He stood a few feet behind the others. He felt like he was intruding. But Harry grabbed his hand and pulled him forward so he was standing at his side.

Andromeda opened the door and there was a boy around the age of five, with bright aqua hair that was turning purple slightly at the tips, sitting on his bed.

“Teddy, Harry is here! And he brought someone with him. I have to go now though, be good for them, okay?” She leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead and turned to Harry and Draco to thank them again for babysitting before disapparating.

“Hey Teddy!” Harry greeted the small boy.

Teddy immediately jumped up from the bed and launched himself at Harry to give him a hug that reached no higher than Harry’s waist.

Harry chuckled and bent down so they were at eye level to give him a proper hug.

Teddy then turned to Draco and looked at him skeptically.

“Teddy, this is Draco. He’s my boyfriend and he also happens to be your cousin! I thought you might like hanging out with him as well.”

Teddy continued to stare for a moment, but then must have decided that Draco was okay, because he then shot towards Draco to hug him, too. Draco was shocked at this and just stared down with wide eyes at the little boy.

“Hi Draco! Your name reminds me of dragons! I really like dragons, do you? They’re some of my favorites!” Teddy babbled while staring up in awe at Draco.

Draco looked at Harry, who had a smile on his face.

“I, um, yeah, dragons are alright,” he said.

Teddy then let go of Draco, much to his relief, and turned to Harry.

“Is that why you like him, Harry? Because his name sounds like dragons?”

Harry laughed.

“Yeah, that’s the only reason I can put up with him,” he joked.

Draco shot him a glare.

“I have some toy dragons! Do you want to see, Draco?”

“N-” Draco stopped what he was originally going to say when Harry shot him a look. “Yeah, okay, let’s see.”

Teddy grinned and grabbed Draco’s hand in his small one and pulled him over to the toy box that was in his room. Harry sat on Teddy’s bed and watched them.

Teddy pulled on Draco’s hand for him to sit down on the floor. With a sigh, he did, and watched as Teddy rummaged through his toys. He then pulled out four toy dragons. They were small and harmless, but moved as though they were real.

“Harry! You can come play too!”

Harry grinned and joined them on the floor.

“These look like the dragons we chose for the Triwizard Tournament,” Harry told Draco.

“Draco, you can choose which one you want first!”

“Wow, Draco. Teddy never let’s me choose first. He must really like you.” Harry smiled at the blond.

Draco reached forward and immediately went for the emerald green dragon with silver spikes. Harry snorted out a laugh at Draco’s obvious reasoning for his choice. Teddy, however made a face.

Draco glared at the little boy.

“Is there something wrong with this one?” He asked, a little too harshly for Harry’s liking, who elbowed him in the side for his tone.

“No. It’s just…that one is my favorite,” Teddy said with a slight pout.

Draco was not going to listen to the kid scream and throw a fit for not getting the one he wanted, so he quickly offered it to him.

“Well you can have it, then,” he said kindly and held the toy out to him.

“No, it’s okay,” Teddy smiled at him. “I like this one, too.” He grabbed one that was an icy blue color and then leaned over to whisper in Draco’s ear, “This one is Harry’s favorite. He always gets mad when I take it.”

Draco gave the little boy a real smile at this.

“Teddy! You know that one is my favorite!”

Teddy just smiled and held the toy up mockingly.

Harry finally chose his dragon, and they played for half an hour. Draco had to admit that it wasn’t a terrible time.

“I’m hungry,” Teddy said and threw his toy down.

“Alright, let’s go down to the kitchen and see what we can get you to eat,” Harry told him.

The three of them stood up, and Teddy immediately grabbed Draco’s hand and tugged on it to get his attention. Draco looked down at him.

“Can you give me a piggy-back ride?”

Draco looked incredulously at Harry, who just laughed and watched with amusement.

“Fine,” Draco grumbled and bent down so Teddy could jump on his back.

Draco looped his arms around Teddy’s legs, and then they made their way down to the kitchen.

Harry opened the fridge to see what there was to eat, and Draco set Teddy down and then lifted him back up to sit on the counter.

Harry then began rummaging through cabinets and pulled out a box of mac and cheese to make. Teddy sat on the counter, swinging his legs, and looked at Draco.

“Draco, were you and Harry friends in school?”

Draco glanced at Harry, who just gave a small nod.

“Yeah, well um, we weren’t in the same house, so we didn’t see much of each other, but I guess you could say we were friends.”

Harry fought to stifle his laughter.

“Harry was in the red house, right?” 

Teddy clearly didn’t remember the names of the houses yet, or couldn’t pronounce them. Draco nodded in response.

“What house were you in, Draco?”

Draco smiled at him.

“Guess.”

“Um…let’s see. There’s yellow, blue, and, and…oh yeah, green! Oh, I bet you were in the green house! That’s why you chose the green dragon!”

Draco actually grinned at the little boy.

“That’s right. The green house is the best one, by the way. Don’t let Harry tell you otherwise. Green also happens to be my favorite color, but that might just be because it was my house.”

“Don’t corrupt him at such an early age, Draco!” Harry said, but was laughing as well.

When Draco looked back at Teddy, he noticed that the tips of his hair had changed from purple to dark green, and the color was spreading even more through his hair.

“Might be too late for that, Harry.” Draco said, chuckling.

Harry turned to look and saw Teddy’s change in hair color. He rolled his eyes but gave Teddy a wide smile.

“That’s a good color on you, Ted.”

Teddy giggled and turned the rest of his hair green.

“I kind of like the yellow house…I like yellow,” Teddy said.

Harry looked over to Draco, knowing how much he used to hate Hufflepuff, but Draco wasn’t paying any attention to him.

“Hmm…that house is nice. I believe that was the house your mum was in.”

He turned to look at Harry, as if for confirmation, and Harry nodded and grinned at Draco.

“Really?! Do you know what house my dad was in?”

“Red, he was with Harry’s mum and dad.”

“Wow,” Teddy said.

Harry finished making the mac and cheese and put some onto three plates that he set on the table.

Harry lifted Teddy down from the counter and they all sat at the table to eat.

“Draco, did you play quidditch?” Teddy asked with a mouthful of food.

“Teddy,” Harry sighed. “You know you’re not supposed to eat with your mouth full.”

Teddy just rolled his eyes and waved Harry off.

“Yeah, I was seeker. Way better than Harry,” Draco said with a smirk.

“Cool!”

Harry shook his head.

“Quit filling his head with lies,” he joked.

When they finished eating they went into the living room to watch a movie.

Draco sat on the couch while Harry put the movie in, and Teddy plopped himself onto Draco’s lap. Draco would have preferred that he didn’t, but he didn’t have the heart to tell the little boy no.

“And where do you suppose I should sit?” Harry asked with a quirked eyebrow when he turned and saw the two were taking up the whole couch.

“On the floor,” Draco told him, to which Teddy responded with a fit of giggles. 

Both Draco and Harry smiled at this, and Harry reluctantly sat on the floor.

“Y’know Teddy, I’m not sure how I feel about how much you like Draco. I’m starting to think you like him more than me,” Harry said while smiling at the pair of them.

Teddy shifted so he could wrap his arms around Draco’s middle and rest his head against him.

“No…I like you both the same! But Draco is more comfy than you, Harry!”

Draco stuck his tongue out at Harry, who just laughed and turned back to watch the movie.

Teddy was asleep after only 15 minutes of the movie. Draco smiled softly down at him. He decided that maybe this wasn’t so bad. He gently wrapped an arm around Teddy to make sure he didn’t fall off or anything.

When the movie was over, Harry realized that he was the only one of the three that was still awake. He stood up and stretched and then smiled down at his boyfriend and godson. He gently pushed some hair out of Draco’s face, waking him up.

“Draco,” he whispered so he wouldn’t wake Teddy up. “Andromeda will be home soon.”

Draco mumbled something incoherently, but made no move to get up.

A moment later, Andromeda walked through the door. Harry greeted her and then she looked over at Draco and Teddy.

“They fell asleep while we were watching the movie. It just finished,” Harry chuckled and then woke both of them up so Teddy could go to his bed.

“Hi Teddy, did you have a good time?” Andromeda asked.

Teddy nodded sleepily.

“Grandma, can Draco tuck me into bed?” He asked her.

She smiled.

“Of course.”

Draco picked Teddy up and walked up the stairs with him. Harry and Andromeda followed behind quietly and watched from the doorway as Draco tucked him in.

Draco covered Teddy up with his blankets and was about to turn to walk away when Teddy grabbed his hand.

“Draco, will you come visit again?”

Draco sat down on the corner of the bed and smiled at the little boy.

“Sure, whenever you want.”

“Do you promise?”

“Yes, I promise. You can even come over to me and Harry’s if your grandmother will allow it.”

Teddy’s tired face lit up at this.

“Can I really? She’ll let me Draco, I know she will!”

Draco chuckled.

“Of course. Maybe you can even sleep over. But for now you have to go to sleep, okay?”

“M’kay,” Teddy said, but then leaned up to give Draco a hug. 

Draco hugged him back and then laid him back down.

“Goodnight, Teddy.”

“G’night, Draco.”

Draco smiled and then turned to the door.

There he saw Andromeda and Harry watching him, he didn’t know they had followed him up. They were both smiling.

Andromeda saw them to the door.

“Thank you, again, for watching him. And I think he really enjoyed your company, Draco, so thank you for tagging along.”

Draco gave a small smile, then they said their goodbyes and Harry apparated them home.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Draco admitted once they were in their own bed.

“Mm, I’d go so far as to say you even had a good time,” Harry told him before he wrapped an arm around Draco to pull him into his chest.

“Perhaps.”

Harry smiled and gave Draco a sweet but short kiss on the lips.

“Thank you. Teddy loves you. Probably more than me,” he laughed.

“Can you blame him?” Draco teased.

Harry smiled and kissed Draco’s forehead.

“Not at all, love.”

I’m not sure why I did this, but… Here are all the things I’ve heard Teddy say in Avengers Academy. (in no particular order)

I don’t have pockets.
That was awesome!
We’re not ready for this. Yet.
The book was better.
One sec, just got a text.
My wiki page needs an update.
I don’t “Hulk” out.
I’m the Young Avengers’ resident shape-shifter.
Give me a minute!
No regrets.
I got into this because I wanted to help.
I’m not sure what to believe anymore.
I’m kind of the prince of space.
I kind of have heropedia superhero privileges.*

* Thanks @kukkicake for the correction. :>