The Unarmored Knight
I want to believe that I have it, that I got it, that I have found and kept it again, the faith in myself. I thought that being away for quite some time may help finding what is missing. I thought that in order for me to move forward I must take two steps backward, like believing in the philosophy of in order for one to go west one must go east initially, to go north one must go south first. But that philosophy doesn’t apply to my case for now. Yep, I got it wrong. The missing piece is still undiscovered. I never expected that I can get knock down so easily by a single hit. Currently I am weak and vulnerable for failures. I still want to fight but I guess there’s no harm in quitting. Now I wonder after all these years of trying and failing what have I become? I was never born a fighter but experiences thought me how, my everyday life is a war and today I become defenseless. I want to become stronger but I forget how.