i am still not but uugh

Bittersweet

…Blame everyone on the Transcendence Au blog…
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Why? Why was Dipper met with constant walls in his everlasting life? It wasn’t muc h to ask, a couple years of silence, hell, the reincarnation cycle could take decades for Mabel’s soul to be reborn. So why? Why now, when Mabel’s reincarnations couldn’t help him, was he met, once again, with Bill. Once again, Bill has been reborn as a little boy, but this was on a whole other level.


Abandoned, orphaned since birth, this kid is the holy entity of a tragic background. Thanks to his, actions in previous lives, he was now suffering the repercusions even into his new life. He had nowhere to sleep, scraps to eat, and anything he had, he would share with the closest pitiful thing next to him.


It was bittersweet, for Dipper. On one hand, my god, finally this bastard was getting what he deserved, but on the other hand, this poor sweet little child hasn’t done anything wrong, he doesn’t deserve this, he’ll kill himself with his own kindness.


For months Dipper ended up unintentionally helping the boy, Toby, as he found out, through his pathetic young life. Yes, he’d heal any little cuts of bumps he got, and made sure to find him some proper shelter and food, and he had to get him to a doctor to help with the asthma,(Yes, this kid has horribly untreated asthma and really needed an inhaler, it was like poor WIllow all over again) but Dipper didn’t really think much of it. That’s just watching out, it’s not like he’s a guardian or something.

“I know that you don’t really like me, but I think you are a really nice man. I just wanted to say thank you for all the times you’ve helped me.” Toby smiled, his one functioning eye closing as if in a smile as well. Dipper grimaced.


“I’m not helping you. I’m just making sure you…not die. Not because I care or anything, just ‘cause I’d like to…” Dipper trailed off, eyes glowing menacingly. “…Scratch that, I’d love to rip your soul from your body and devour it.” He grinned.


“Well, i-if you want it that much, I’m sure you deserve it. You s-seem pretty mad about it…” Toby whispered, twidling his fingers together. “A̡̗̳͎̯̣̘ͪ̀̈́ͫ̍̋̔͒͡͞A̹͔͈̫͚̠̝ͦR̗̹̈́̎͟G̴̡̛̗͒͛̆ͫ̂ͧͧ̓̒H̶͒̈́̀ͤͯͯͣͣ̋͏͕̥̪!̛͇ͬͧ͒͞ You can’t just say that what if a demon actually does take your soul you’d die.” Blue flames licked at Dipper’s palms, pooling back into them.


Toby flinched and covered his eye. “I’m sorry.” Dipper sighed and tugged harshly at his hat. Great, he made a little boy cry, good going. No way he was gonna comfort him though. Nope, deal with it yourself kid. Nu-uh, nop-“I’m sorry Toby, I’m just frustrated.” Dipper mentally would have murdered himself.


“Really, that’s okay, I just thought I must have done some really bad things for you to hate me this much.” Toby twirled his blond hair around his finger. Dipper turned and sighed for the fiftieth time that day.

Around a month later, Toby was humming to himself and playing with little rocks when Dipper slammed into him and held him up by the collar. “You…You…God, I want to…Look at me!” He screamed, his glowing pupils thrashing wildly.


“Look at me! I deal with people who summon me every day. I used to be a kid like you. Why? Why did you take that from me? What did I do? It’s your fault I can’t ever die! It’s your fault I watch my sister be born and live her life and die again for hundreds of years. It’s your fault I own her soul, that I answer summons, that I couldn’t touch anyone but Mabel for a year.” Dipper’s form was slowly being overtaken by void-filled bricks. All the while, Toby hung crying from his grasp.


“It’s your fault my parents could never look at me the same way again, that this is happening, all of this! Why do you get to be reborn into different people with different lives and different personalities, while I’m stuck being me for eternity? I̵̶̧̭̖̩̙̱̻̖̟̼̹͇̦̒̓ͪ̐ͬ͟T̻̗͙̬́́ͭ̌͒́ͬ͗̓͡'̵̵̡̣͍̪̣̲͕̬͇̱̙̎͌͑͌͊͗ͭͯͪ̂̑̋ͪͨ̀̀Ş̢͎̝͎͔͚̱̜̲̻̣̙̣̉ͩ̈́͒̆ͣ̂ͧ̊̾́͜͞ͅ ̥̬̜̳͔̻̜̱͓̼͖̬̹͔̪̎ͣ̓͌̀͝N̓ͬͥ͒́̄̐͏͏̡͓̰̩̳̙̜͖͈̱̪̩̜̘͍̖͕̘̱O̧̠̝̱͈̬̭̰̳̬̬̥̳̦̝͖̼͆̆̏͒̈́́ͥ̈̒̍ͫ͌̍͋́̀͟Ṱ̢̺̭͂̂ͣͧͤͯͣ̓ͮ̓̄̎͊͊ͩ̓͌͜ ̧͔̞̫̞͚̗̟̘̜̽́͑ͫͨ͛̉͛͊̐ͣ̀͜͟͠ͅͅF̤͓̰͔̩̮̬̜͍͖̦̻̝͎̩̩̤̾͒͒̉̎ͫ̿̾ͥ̓̒͊͗̚̕͠͞A͑̄ͭ̎ͤͧͭ͏̵̩̫̘͚̤̦͇͇̝̪̱̝̞̻̱̪̞̕͘ͅͅI̸̷̶̥͕͙͚͔̥̺͕̲͉̰̺̙̾̍́̍ͫ͆͂͜͡Ṛ̢͕̞̦̫̜͎̝̘̜͂̾̋̉ͨͯ̽͑̈̚̚̕͟͞!̡̮̬̫̱͓̤̣̙̗̭̮͖̈́͗ͨ̀̅͆ͣ̈ͤͩ̾͂̀͝ͅͅ” Dipper stopped, panting. He held one clawed hand up and curled it into a fist.


“I’m so sorry…” Dipper whipped aroun to face Toby. “I did so many awful things. I hurt you, and I’m really sorry…"Toby rubbed his wet face, sticky with tears.


Oh, now he had done it. Good job Dipper, you made him cry again. It took all hsi willpower to not comfort the sniffling child. Instead, he gently set him down, and composed himself. ”…Do you really hate me? I’m so sorry for what I did, but I am trying to make it better.“ Toby sniffled, his breathing still short and choppy.


"Uugh…” This dream demon really needed a vacation.