i am spending all of my time wisely

so as y’all may have noticed, i’ve been quite slow activity-wise and not present on the dashboard as much as usual this past week. i’m kind of caught up in the middle of a medical mystery lol.

i’m not particularly comfortable putting the details out there for all to see until i know for sure what’s going on, but i’m in far more pain than usual, far more fatigued than usual, and have been spending most of my time either at the doctor / having medical tests done or reading / watching tv / doing things that require very little effort on my part. i’ve been largely confined to bed and, as you might imagine, not in the best of moods most of the time.

the good news is that my doctors are working quite quickly to figure this out and treat it. i’m going in for a ct scan tomorrow and seeing my gynecologist on tuesday to discuss the results. the bad news is that i can’t really predict how much longer this will be affecting my rp activity – i could be better as soon as next week, or it could be something that continues to affect me for a while.

all that said, i am determined to keep my queue posting and to get as much done as possible when i’m able. tonight, for example, i’m feeling pretty creative and able to get some things done. but i just ask that you guys be understanding if it takes me a while to get to our thread or a meme you sent in, and that you don’t forget about me.

because i’m here, still loving cersei, still with tons of muse, still caring deeply for each and every one of you – i’m just a little hindered at the moment.

lately ive realized that i genuinely have so much love for writing, poetry, and all things literature and just art wise. i literally spend hours at a time just writing things down, reading, listening to poetry or music and there’s just so much beauty in it all that it completely baffles me sometimes. ive found that i get lost in the pages of my own journal when the pencil is in my hand, its almost as if i go into my own little world and sometimes i have trouble coming back. because for me, writing is what takes away the pain and what helps me cope w the bitterness of the world and turn the darkness into sunshine and i just feel lucky that this world is filled w such poetic things and im happy that my mind only speaks in poetry, because i wouldn’t wanna allow myself to be consumed w anything else. and this is all me rambling on but so many people have said that my poetry and mind is beautiful and i guess i just wanted to say that the credit shouldn’t go to me, because it’s all so natural i don’t even think about it. the words just flow out of me and i can’t stop them, so i literally write on anything and everything i can find. it’s like im a walking, breathing poem and somehow ive managed to fall in love w that part of myself. but idk, i just love poetry so much i wanna share it w the whole world and i can’t help but spill about it to anyone that’s willing to listen.