striders, bfs, and cleanliness
karkat and jake bond over what fucking utter pigs the striders can be. jake’s room is sort of a sty but nothing compares to dirk “I have vague piles of somewhat similar objects” strider or dave “I strung cords into a spiderweb and told everybody it was for irony when really I am just bad at organization” strider. jake has hoarding tendencies but when given space for his shit that is bigger than one room finds it easy to spread his shit out and keep it at least a little clean – he’s not grandpa age yet, after all. karkat, meanwhile, we all know karkat is the universe’s biggest fucking neat freak. he is constantly complaining about how dave lets garbage pile up and one day he and jake go through and clean up the house to the wailed “I HAVE A SYSTEM” of dirk and the eyebrow-furrowed befuddlement of dave.
immediately after, jake leaves to clean up and dave is still busy working on some music so dirk and karkat get to talking. initially they were uncomfortable as fuck with each other but as time has gone by and they’ve both figured out the other one is mostly pretending at competence, they’ve gotten to like each other.
dirk jokes that he has no idea how jake is going to know what to do in the shower since there’s like 50 bottles of product and he has only ever used a washcloth and a single bar of soap. karkat finds this hilarious and tells dirk that he is pretty sure dave never even used scrubrags until karkat got on his case for not doing so. this turns into a beautiful conversation about their boyfriends’ respective thickheadedness w/r/t hygiene. karkat doesn’t entirely follow when dirk starts pontificating on the difference between cleanser and moisturizer. doesn’t matter. they bond over this the same way jake and karkat bond over the striders being messy as fuck.
(similarly, jake and dave bond over how weirdly neurotic their boyfriends are – while jake mostly talks about how vain and fucking precious dirk is about his appearance, dave talks about how karkat flips out if there is even a speck of dirt on the rug, but the bonding happens anyway)