i am so tired of seeing this hate

Slight rant feel free to ignore

Okay so I’m writing this super late at night and half asleep so please forgive me in advance.

I hate tumblrs New safety mode. Hate it. Half the blogs I frequent I know can’t see since I’m under 18 and am required to have it… HALF OF THEM AIN’T EVEN BAD! I’ve still seen full out porn since this features be added but yet your blocking zodiac posts????? And when I say porn I mean actually “oh wow that’s a penis” porn… Are you drunk tumblr? Last time I checked porn is far more ‘unsafe’ then what terrible fate my life will have due to my star sign being a cancer! Because lets face it cancer always has the worst luck with those things! It’s always depressing! I just want to read some smutty fanfic because I’m sad, lonely and forever dateless.

Okay rant over… sorry for this seemingly out of the blue post I just needed to get it off my chest… I’ve said porn way to many times in this rant.

Good night everyone it’s 11:47pm so I should probably try to get some sleep.

If you don't have BPD...

You have no idea what it’s like to PHYSICALLY feel your thoughts eating away at you. My head literally aches all the time because I have zero control over my thoughts or my mood swings.

It takes everything in me not to lash out at those I love. Those I know who would be better off without me in their lives, but my fear of abandonment has made me so selfish and I cannot bare the thought of them not being around, so my mask is always on. I can never fully be my true self. And it hurts, it hurts so much and I’m so fucking tired. I’m so tired of the extreme thinking. I’m tired of never being enough. I’m tired of being ecstatic one minute and suicidal the next. I’m tired of overthinking and overanalysing EVERYTHING. I’m tired of the unpredictability and impulsiveness that comes with this shitty disorder. I’m tired of not actually being vacant for pockets of time in my day.

I hate being so dependent and I hate that I know I am? I hate that I’m incredibly self aware and I can see what my illness does to those around me.
I hate being a burden.

I did not ask for this. I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS. And I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I am in chronic pain. The nightmare is constant and it’s never ending.

popular text posts + ask memes (part two) 

❛ i don’t have time for a relationship. do you know how many books i need to read? ❜
❛ i think it’s hilarious when people tell me i’m laid back because i’ve pretty uch been screaming nonstop in my head since like fifth grade ❜
❛ coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just… not good ❜
❛ i’m a piece of shit, but it’s fine ❜
❛ how i am supposed to have a lit summer with $4.65 ❜
❛ i’m a huge fan of space; both outer and personal ❜
❛ and to your left, you can see me, ruining everything ❜
❛ any full cast musical number can be a solo if you believe hard enough ❜
❛ kinda hungry, kinda horny, kinda tired, kinda wanna get a tattoo ❜
❛ no amount of under eye concealer can cover up how tired i am of this world ❜
❛ i’m ready for autumn, but not autumn responsibilities ❜
❛ today i’m wearing a lovely shade of i slept like shit so don’t piss me off ❜
❛ i’m not making enough boys nervous ❜
❛ i really want my last words to be ‘hey, wanna see a dead body?’ ❜
❛ don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it? ❜
❛ i’m always a slut for conspiracy theories ❜
❛ i wanna make a diss track about myself ❜
❛ true friendship is bullying your friends into watching the tv shows you watch ❜
❛ i’d be such a good girlfriend/boyfriend/s.o. you’re all missing out ❜
❛ sorry i was late. i can’t conceptualize time. ❜
❛ fuck what the aliens said ❜
❛ sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments ❜ 
❛ if outfit repeating was a crime i would be sentenced to life without parole ❜
❛ does anyone have ten thousand dollars they don’t want? ❜
❛ i want a sugar daddy, but i know nicki minaj wants me to be independent  ❜
❛ i stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about ❜
❛ i don’t have plans for tonight or the rest of my life if anyone wants to have a drink or get married ❜
❛ tbh sometimes you just gotta let me be dramatic because i will get over it, but let me be dramatic first. ❜
❛ painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk ❜
❛ if we date, you have to hold my hand in the car. no exceptions. ❜
❛ in an unfortunate development, i am now awake ❜
❛ you’re hella bomb, hella cute, and anyone would be hella lucky to have you ❜
❛ kinda hurt, kinda offended, kinda not planning on saying anything about it ❜
❛ trying to embarrass me is so unnecessary. i do it to myself just fine. ❜
❛ if you don’t think i’m a princess then you’re 100% right. i’m the fucking queen. ❜
❛ fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october. ❜
❛ lana may have fucked her way up to the top, but i am bullshitting my way up to the middle ❜
❛ i don’t want to get involved in the drama, i just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened ❜
❛ so… do you want to watch 49.7 hours of parks and recreation with me? ❜
❛ i hit rock bottom like every two weeks ❜
❛ can someone please be proud of me? like fuck, i’m trying. ❜
❛ give me a few days to overthink about it ❜
❛ can i sell my feelings on ebay? i don’t want them anymore. ❜
❛ i’m really fucking sarcastic for someone who’s about to start crying most of the time ❜
❛ when does hibernation start because i am 100% participating in that ❜
❛ don’t you hate it when you wake up and you’re awake ❜
❛ i lowkey just wanna make sure you’re happy as fuck ❜
❛ i literally have no idea what i’m gonna do if i don’t end up rich ❜
❛ you know you’re in deep when you love listening to them talk and you get attached to their voice ❜
❛ no offense, but when is it my turn for someone to be in love with me ❜
❛ i’m an asshole with a really big heart ❜
❛ i have to be funny because being hot is not an option ❜
❛ can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do ❜
❛ okay that’s cool, but consider the following: snuggling with me until i fall asleep ❜
❛ please handle me with care. i am a very sleepy and soft creature. ❜
❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk. ❜

I'm so tired - A Black Girls Ode

I’m tired of the stereotypes
Black girls are
“Loud”
“Angry”
“Violent”
“Too dark”
“Ugly”
“Not desirable”
“Inferior”

I’m tired of the hair hate
“Nappy”
“Crunchy”
“Dry”
“Short”
“Afro”
“Natural”
“Braids”
“Weaves”
“Wannabe white”

I’m tired of the skin hate
“#TeamLightSkin”
“#TeamDarkSkin”
Like we’re on opposing teams…

I’m tired of the hate for liking out of race
“Black guys”(Who sometimes don’t even want us)
“White guys”
“Asian guys”
“Hispanic guys”
ANY GUY
And forever wondering if said guy will even like us back

I’m tired of being told I can’t be
“Nerdy”
“Quiet”
“Shy”
“ A geek”
“A nerdy”
“A gamer”
“Good at school”
“A princess”
“Or a Queen”

Or can’t have
“A stable family”
“Good grades”
“Drama free love life”
“Normalcy of any sort”

Or I can’t like
“Comic books”
“Reading”
“Video games”
“Indie music”
“Pop music”
“Rock music”
Anything other than Rap/R&B

I’m tired of the names and things said
“Oreo”
“Sassy”
“Fake”
“Uppity”
“Ghetto”
“White girl in a black girls body”
“I don’t date black girls”
“You’re pretty for a black girl”
“You talk/act white”
“You’re not like the rest”
“I like chocolate”
“You’re my Nubian princess” (Like we are food or a prize to be won)

I’m so tired
…. Of constantly trying to prove myself
….. Always explaining myself
….. Trying to keep my voice down
….. Being too dark
…… Or too light
…… Steering away from stereotypes
….. Being treated like less than
….. “No I don’t have kids” “Nit currently or planning to be pregnant”
….. “No you cannot touch my hair”
….. Yes I live with both my mom and dad
…… “Nubian princess”
….. Keeping my hands to myself in a store so I don’t get accused of stealing
…… Social media and News representation
…… Being a fetish
…… Being wary of cops when I’ve done nothing wrong
…… Knuckling under
…… Black on black hate
……. EVERY THING ELSE

I’m so tired of fighting

My skin color and hair does not, has not, and will not ever represent me.
I am in touch with my black and Haitian roots but none of it defines me unless I say it does.
No matter I do or say people will still see me that way. I’m so tired of people not even seeing who I am but what they perceive me to be solely based on my skin.

I’m so very tired, BUT, too many people (men, women, and people of every race) have fought too long, prayed too hard, and died too often for us to GIVE UP because we’re TIRED! No, this is when we push even harder, because if we’re tired so are they, but now we have one foot in the door ^3^

favorite things my intro lit professor said this past semester, with no context:

  • “today we’re handing out an award for the worst Bible father”
  • “ah, my son, go fuck yourself”
  • “someone else read, I’m tired of hearing the sound of my own voice. I’m kidding, that will never happen. but seriously. someone.” 
  • “okay! phallus doesn’t work, gotta have a life now”
  • “I would have loved if Santa Claus was a poet, he would have written some wild Freudian Rudolph poems”
  • “it’s parching time”
  • “don’t talk to me about Barbie Rapunzel. I’ve watched Barbie Rapunzel four times.”
  • “if you’re gonna get flayed, it might as well be elaborate”
  • “come on guys I too am tired and hungry but this class is going to be so boring if none of you talk”
  • “and Quilty won the internet that day”
  • “I see them now, all of your little post-it notes of hate”

what i found the most amusing thing about tony antis is that they honestly think that they are the mayority of the fandom, that common people universally like steve when in reality, outside their american asses, people fucking LOVE iron man
for example my best friend has probably seen two? marvel movies? in her entire life? but she Knows who tony stark is. I live in Buenos Aires and there’s a gigantic Fucking Mural of Iron Man on a park. The general public Loves iron man, and more or less Hate Captain America. Not because of Steve Rogers himself but because of America™
And honey, we are Millions. We love Iron Man. We Will go see his movies. Until rdj apears in Every Single Marvel movie in existence we will Not be satisfied.

I’m so tired of children attacking people who ship their NOTPs because? Honestly, they do not care about you, or me, or survivors, or anyone who’s actually suffering. They care about looking like they’re a big shiny hero, advocating for these people so they can get everyone to hate on the ship they don’t like. 

Case in point: I’ve been in abusive relationships! Real ones! Ones that hurt me, even to this day, I see something that reminds me of them and I have a fucking anxiety attack! I am a survivor of CSA! Two separate cases! Two different people! I was very young, absolutely no understanding of what was going on and why it was bad! I kept it a secret from everyone for years until this shit. This shit where I have to prove that I’ve been a survivor so people don’t attack me, and if they don’t approve of my trauma being enough, they continue spreading rumors and attacking me!

Anyone who calls people who ship something ‘pedophiles’ or ‘abusive’, has no fucking care for you or anyone who’s actually experienced it. They do not care about us. They will drag your name through the mud because you like two fictional grown fucking men kissing sometimes, that interferes with their two fictional grown men kissing.

There are some ships that have issues! Incest, pedophilia, abuse. It’s real! People do ship that stuff! I hate all that shit, it’s horrible, it’s gross, I don’t like seeing it. But I’m a grown fucking adult, and understand that people explore darker concepts for a multitude of reasons, a lot of those reasons could be that they too, are a survivor of that, and they’re using it to cope. Other’s want to understand it better, so they know when to spot it and can avoid it, or help others! And I understand that there’s this fucking thing, called blacklist, where you can monitor your own damn feed, and prevent yourself from coming across content you just don’t like! 

Labeling ships that aren’t ANY of those things, is entirely to spice shit up and ward people away for no reason. Just because an age gap makes you uncomfortable (Jack/Ana, Reyes/Ana) doesn’t make it pedophilia, doesn’t make it abusive. Difference in rank (literally every ship with actual agents and soldiers in Overwatch) doesn’t make it abuse of power. Shit I’ve had people fucking say you can’t ship Reyes with anyone EVER because he’s ‘Mexican’ sorry he’s not he’s probably Chicano he was probably born in LA, apparently shipping him is sexualizing Latinos. This is the bullshit they spew. They literally look for anything they can grasp, even if it’s blatantly wrong, just to shit on people.

Anti’s don’t know jack fucking shit. They’re fucking children, I don’t care how old they actually are, they’re the 13 year olds they cringe at, who can’t fucking handle someone not liking what they like, for people being of varying age and tolerance in fandom. They don’t care about survivors. They don’t care about actual justice to actual crimes. They care about hurting people as much as they can, to seem powerful. They’re the abusers they keep preaching against. 

Who Are You?

Originally posted by spnjensenlove02

Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word count: 346

Part 1 of Shocking Awakening


“Dean…” You groaned, rolling over in your sleep. “Damn it, Dean!” You snapped, the effects of the night before still lingering.

Dean grumbled, ignoring the voice saying his name, and believing the crying was a dream. However, the loud slamming of a door jerked him awake. Looking around, he furrowed his brows. “Where the hell am I??” He muttered before licking his lips and sitting up. Hearing little feet quickly making their way towards the door, he tried to think of what kids he knew.

Before he could process anything else, a little boy came flying through the door. “Daddy!” He grinned, jumping onto Dean. His little arms hugged him, hanging on as Dean got up.

Moving through the unfamiliar halls, he was panicking. Where was he?! “Oh, now he gets up.” Your sarcasm came from his right, making him look over. “Thanks for getting up with the kids like you promised.” His eyes watched as you moved around the kitchen, worrying about everyone but yourself. There was a somewhat messy infant in a pink high chair on the other side of the counter, completely oblivious to what was going on around her.  “I never ask for anything, Dean. I love you, and I tell you to go enjoy yourself all the time. You deserve it. I asked for one night with my friends, and the chance to sleep in. You agreed, and still, I’m doing everything.” Sighing, you poured a cup of coffee and placed it near the counter by him. “So, can you tell me what the hell is up? Because ‘I was tired’ is a bs excuse.” One hand was on the counter, the other on your hip. “I’m waiting, dear husband!”

“I don’t know who you are.” He told her softly. “I don’t know where I am.” He added. “I don’t know who these kids are…” His voice cracked, because he hated seeing the pain wash across her face. “Who are you?” Dean breathed.

The little boy clinging to him looked from Dean, to you. “Mommy?” He sounded sad. “Is daddy sick?”

Keep reading

Please shut up with the hate

Guys! Please! I am so tired of seeing unjustified hate here in Tumblr!

So very, very, VERY, very tired. I can’t even search fandom/character/ship tags anymore, so can y’all please just shut up with the “this is disgusting” and “please kill yourself” when the things have nothing wrong with them??

- Liking an evil/villain/anti-hero character doesn’t make their fans bad people in real life, it just means they might find said characters interesting and important to their respective fandoms, and writing redemption stories or made-up backgrounds/explanations for why they are evil doesn’t mean their fans justify or ignore what said characters did wrong

- Bringing a character dead in canon “back to life” in fanon doesn’t make the fans crazy or mentally ill (I feel like this one is so dumb that I shouldn’t put it here, but trust me when I say that I’ve seen hate messages sent to people merely because they make AUs where character live or they just refuse to believe they died in canon and make theories on how they are alive)

- Shipping enemies/previous enemies doesn’t mean people approve of abusive relationships (unless the stories/fan art they make is strictly abusive, which in some cases can serve to bring awareness to said issues or have shock value, as long as it’s not romanticizing abuse it’s ok) no matter how much the characters hate eachother in canon, sometimes people like to make their own AUS where characters were not enemies to begin with or maybe they grow to like eachother and forgive eachother in a healthy way

- Shipping characters with an age difference is not automatically pedophilia, no matter what age they have in canon or if one met the other whilst they were adults and the others children (even if that freaks you out, as long as they are all portrayed as adults, be the age difference 1 year or 90 years, it’s still legal)

- Shipping a character who did something really bad to another character, no mater how much you hate the ship, is ok to draw/write if it does not encourage violence or abuse (much similar to what I said above with the enemies one)

- Liking something that you don’t understand the appeal to or that is just not that popular (as long as it’s ok and not illegal) doesn’t mean fans are trying to convert you or shipping/liking things on purpose to get you, it means they want to be left alone in their own likings and that you should respect them and go do what you want instead of hating on them


Here’s what you should do if you still hate these things but they are completely legal and ok:

If it’s on one or few SPECIFIC artworks or artists and not the whole ship/fandom, you should:

- Use an anti tag so that it doesn’t flood the tags of people looking for artworks and stuff, or just adress the artists themselves

- If they haven’t shown signs of being rude or approving of actual illegal actions (rape, abuse, violence, murder, etc etc) don’t be disrespectful (for example if they draw something very violent that triggers you but they express that they find it wrong and that it’s meant to bring awareness to that issue, ask them/criticize them politely and don’t jump in attacking them straight away)

- Use clear arguments and organize them so that it’s easy to understand your points and so that people don’t confuse criticism with hate

- Judge the art, not the artist. Only judge the artist when the artist made their points of view and true beliefs extremely clear

If you want to rant on the whole ship/fandom:

- Use the ship/fandom tag but keep your opinion/rant polite and respectful to the people who also use the tag

- Don’t mistake one person’s headcanons or art for the whole fandom and every single fan, because of course there are bad apples in every tree, but that doesn’t make every single one bad

- Don’t accuse all fans of being rapists, pedophiles, abusive, etc without any motive, with your only “proof” being what they ship or what fandoms they are in or what characters they like


And now can y’all please shut the hell up and go easy on the “kill yourself”’s?

I’m gonna tag some ships here that I like or where I’ve seen this sort of hate lately, be free to tag more to stop this non-sense hate

hypnotised (1)

pt 1, pt 2, pt 3

genre: angst
paring: baekhyun x reader


Sound of dripping water mixed with muffled TV in the background was the only sound surrounding both of you. The lights were off and you stared at the vanilla candles next to you with an uneasy feeling that had built up in your lower abdomen. You’ve never liked silence; and silence never was silent. It was tangling and creaky, leaving an unpleasant halo in the air. Sucking on your lower lip your hands trembled underneath white, wooden table. You felt his eyes on you, glowing in the darkness. His slim fingers tapped surface of the furniture and for a moment you thought that he is going to leave you without a word.

“I just don’t understand,” his pained whisper shook your heart with double force. “I thought we were happy, me and you” looking around your watered eyeballs glanced at his person.

“Because we were,” the smell of burned flambeau made your nose wrinkle. “We were and as you might have noticed it is in the past tense”

He slightly moved and emptied glass of whisky standing in front of him in one go. His ruffled, black hair looked oddly miserable while he sat in his grey t-shirt which you’ve bought him long time ago. Dark circles under his eyes showed his fatigue and your bony fingers almost reached out for him only to be stopped in a mid air.

“You know I love you,” his lips trembled and you felt tears leaking and dropping down your face. He searched for something, anything in you and when he spotted your anguish he stood up. “We are engaged, we have planned our future together” soft steps echoed in your ears before you could get up and leave. Baekhyun’s arms caged you from behind with comforting smell of his cologne.

“I know” your sigh was almost not audible when your shoulders shook with your quite sobs. “I’m sorry” you felt him kissing your crown of hair. It was too much. You needed to end it here, once and for all. “I can’t do it much longer”

“Why? Just tell me why” his presence was overwhelming, hovering above you as a hawk. “I need to know why

“It hurts!” he didn’t expect your outburst so he tightened his hold on your limbs and kept  you while you cried your eyes out. “Loving you hurts. I’m in constant pain, Baekhyun. I love you but all I gain from that is hate. I can’t go out, I can’t work because I’m being followed. How am I supposed to function? I’m so tired, tired of this flashing lifestyle and cameras. Sometimes I lay awake next to you and I feel as if my life has been sucked out of me, as if I was dying. It’s not your fault neither your career. I’m just… too weak for that” his chin rested upon your head and you could feel his tense body. “We don’t see each other for months and even when we are together we just don’t talk. We forgot ourselves, Baekhyun. It doesn’t work. We gave in” your hands shoot upwards and you faced him with a frown. “Maybe we did all of this too fast” he looked away, showing his hard jaw line and hidden neck veins. “I believe that we should stop this, now” without looking at him you started to fight with your engagement ring. You pulled it once, twice but it didn’t move so you cursed feeling new wetness on your cheeks. “Come on” your nails scarped skin around jewelry so hard that it almost broke.

“Stop. Stop it!”

Your head shot up. You’ve never heard him screaming, especially at you. His brown eyes shot deathly daggers at your person but underneath that anger there was raging love. His hands occupied your own and gently pulled the band off your digit. Silver metal with small, white diamond nested upon it rested on his open palm while both of you looked at it with different expressions. You suddenly remembered how he proposed to you; so simple yet so endearing. Just like him. Your throat let out terrible sound of your despair when he fisted his grip.

“It’s done”

Neither him or you moved. You could hear his heartbeats in the utter silence and you knew he could hear your heart breaking. Gulping you leaned over the table with sudden nausea. All of the facts hitting you like a waterfall.

“Sit down, you look pale” he guided you to the chair and sat you down as a child. “Do you want water?” when you nodded he went to pour it for you.

“Thank you” sipping cold liquid you felt as your whole body burned. “I’m fine. I just… I’m” you lost your words and your gaze fell upon his crouched form. He looked so young in the shadows. You tucked his hair behind his ear. It was silky and so familiar to touch that you had to back off. How could you survive without him? “Maybe you should go” it was for the sake of your sanity. He huffed and closed the distance between both of you.

“How about no?”

“Please, I’m not up to another argument” you ran your hands over your tresses and stared at his bare face with red eyes.

“I have an idea. I think we should try it” on his lips ghosted small smile but it vanished too quickly. Before you could replay he stood and left you in the kitchen. You followed him and you found yourself amused by his doings when he put his shoes on.

“So you are leaving?” your back tensed when he looked at you with a blank expression.  

“You’ve wanted me gone, right?” you managed to look unaffected by his cold voice and blinked away tears escaping your eyelids.

Yes, yes I have. Goodnight” he nodded and got out of your apartment.

Your whole person curled into itself so much that you could hear your bones cracking and screaming from pain - not only physical but emotional. You placed hand on your lips to prevent your soft screams of desperation from coming out.

Ding. Dong.      

Freezing you stared at the entry with unknown for you feeling.

Ding. Dong.

Your steps were cautious  and painfully slow but when you opened the door your heart leaped in your chest. And God, it hurt.  

“Hello, I thought that we could begin again. My name is Baekhyun and I love pizza with pineapple but I know that you hate it so you pluck it out and call me gross when I add it on my slice,” you gripped the frame so hard that your fingers almost broke. “I don’t mind staying on the corridor but I would be glad if you let me in. Both inside your apartment and into your life

You looked at him and with a heavy heart you decided. 

if you hate malia tate, please get away from me. if you hate malia tate for being in love with stiles, get away from me. if you hate malia tate for being in the way of your ship, get away from me. if you hate malia tate for crying because she realized how important stiles really was to her and had her feelings ignored, get away from me. i don’t want your misogynistic, biased, hateful ass around me, especially if you hate malia tate for something you praise another female character for. please get the fuck away from me. i am so goddamn tired of seeing hate circulating around her. malia is such a fucking strong ass character and gets treated like shit because she fell in love with stiles stilinski. well newsflash!!! stiles fell in love with her too!!! i don’t care that they’re “not together” anymore, that isn’t the goddamn point. malia has gotten so much hate from the moment she appeared on screen and i’m so fucking tired of it. i’m sorry your ship isn’t canon and i’m sorry it seemed like malia got in the way of it, but guess what? you got what your bitch ass wanted, so leave malia tate the fuck alone. malia has ALWAYS put others before herself!!!! sure, use her post coyote self as an excuse to say she didn’t, but you know why she didn’t put anyone else first? BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW HOW!!!! SHE WAS A COYOTE FOR FUCKING 8 YEARS, OF FUCKING COURSE SHE WASN’T GOING TO UNDERSTAND!!! but jfc, she finally learns to be selfless and actually believes her worth isn’t as important and goddamn i want her to be selfish. i want her to look lydia in the goddamn eye and tell her “i’m in love with him” because fuck you for trying to take that away from her. the hate astounds me, because seriously, if anyone has any character development, it’s malia fucking tate. she made stiles want to be a better person and he was!!!! for once in his life, he was a good person and goddamn, they were happy. but no, no they don’t get that. stiles goes back to reverting his season 1 and 2 self and malia gets put in the fucking corner. maybe the writers will make up for this. maybe they’ll give malia and stalia the ending ( or not ) they deserve, because goddamn if anyone deserves it, malia sure as hell does. you want to talk about unfair? an injustice? look at malia fucking tate. she has done nothing to deserve what she got, but according to some people, it doesn’t matter, because her feelings are invalid. well fuck you very much. you try being in love with someone and watch someone who was supposed to be your friend take them away from you, you try it. “oh but it was stiles’ choice!!! he loves lydia and only her!!” no stfu that isn’t even fucking true. before this pos season even aired, stiles was absolutely in fucking love with malia tate. we were NEVER given any indication that he had feelings for lydia aside from the side comments that were EXTREMELY OOC!!! and lydia finally realizing “oh i’m in love with him” is such utter bullshit and such a shit on malia like what the actual fuck? if you loved malia tate, you wouldn’t be okay with this. you would not be okay with the way she’s being treated and you know what? i’m sorry but if you ship srydia, you don’t love malia tate. i’m sorry but if you loved her, you wouldn’t be okay with this. that’s just how it is. leave malia tate alone and stay the hell away from me.

i’m so sick and tired of seeing people in the One Piece fandom who are still unable to differentiate between valid criticism and blatant hate. i just don’t understand when some of y’all get upset or all riled up over others pointing out valid criticism regarding Oda’s writing. like i LOVE One Piece with all my heart, but i am also fully aware that it is NOWHERE near perfect??? and i think people should be allowed to voice out their opinions and critique the series without it being labelled as ‘hate’ and/or ‘negativity’. 

with that said, i also understand that there are some people who may want/prefer to enjoy the series as it is and simply be taken along for the ride, which is perfectly fine! but don’t jump the gun on others and accuse them of hating on Oda or spreading negativity about One Piece when all they’ve done is point out a valid criticism.

i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again: YOU CAN STILL LIKE A SERIES WHILE BEING A CRITICAL READER (yikes, what a strange and unheard-of concept!! 😲)

Back to the Past (Hamilton x Reader) 5

Words: 4500+

Tags: @ghcstflower @princessoftrash1234 @theamazingfeministunicorn @caswhatareyoudoingstahp @fanagelbagel @thefoundingfuckboys @batgurl32467 @21phantasticromances @live-to-the-fullest18 @looneylovegoodx @onelastfic @sbobsessions @gonnamurderyou @goldensabriel @chvck-shvrley @insane-hamilton-imagines @justfangirlingaround @heiloveee @carry-on-my-fangirl @queentyna @feral-tomcat-hamilton @mehrmonga

Warnings: small amount of cursing and a lot of arguing, like, a lot, angst? *maybe

A/N: i was gonna write more, but then i realized that this was getting out of hand and that maybe i should stop lol. im sorry for so much dialogue, but they needed to talk, ya know? this might just be a filler chapter, to develop their relationships between each other more

Part1 Part2 Part3 Part4 Part 6


Mulligan let you sleep in his tent instead, criticizing Hamilton for treating you this way. You really wanted to tell him what was actually going on, but it seemed too unrealistic, so you kept it to yourself. You also knew that he liked you, so whenever he flirted with you, you would blush, looking away from him. Lafayette and Laurens talked to you often, trying to find a way to help you get back. It has been more than a month, and you still did not receive that clue from the woman.

Hamilton ignored you most of the time, a permanent scowl on his face when you were near. It broke your heart, and you had to continue to tell yourself that this was not him, that he was no such an asshole. The lines began to blur, though, and you couldn’t help but slowly despise him as well.

Hamilton walked into Hercules’s tent, surprised that you were sitting right there. He ignored you, pretending that you did not exist. Eventually, when he saw you reading a piece of paper, he raised his eyebrows at you. “Hmm, I did not expect you to be able to read.” He said, distracting you.

“What’s that suppose to mean, Hamilton?” You said, exasperated at his insult already.

“You seem uneducated, shame, you were more interesting when I though you could not read.”

“Get out, Hamilton.” Mulligan glared at him, and he shrugged, marching out. Mulligan looked at you, and you shrugged, turning your eyes back to the paper.

It grew to the point where you avoid one another as often as possible. The three boys noticed the change of relationship between the two of you, and tried to let you talk it out, much to your appreciation. But you shook your head at them, telling them that it will never work, that Hamilton will always hate you. After a few days of this, Mulligan pulled you into a tent, closing the tent door behind him.

“Look, Miss Y/N, I do not know what is going on between the two of you, but it needs to end. The atmosphere whenever you two are together, is deadly. I could barely talk with all the anger in the room. We need to get you back home, so that you may be comfortable again. I cannot stand to see you two hate each other.” Your heart warmed at his concern, and you finally realized that you needed to tell him what was going on. So that he could help you.

“Herc, I, there’s something I need to tell you.” You confessed, and he nodded, pulling back a curtain. You widened your eyes, seeing Laurens and Lafayette standing there, their arms crossed against their chest. “What the…? Am I being lectured? You set this up?”

“We need to know what’s going on. Hamilton wanted to court you, and now, he could not stand to look at your face. Please, let us help you.” Laurens pleaded. “I hate seeing my friends like this.”

“Laurens is right, Miss Y/N. I am the tired of arguments. I would like the peace, please.” Lafayette always pronounced his s and a z, and it was cute hearing the accent. Mulligan looked at you, determined.

“I like you, Miss Y/N. But I know that Hamilton liked you, and I would like to know what had happened before I take you away from him.” His eyes were serious, no joking whatsoever. You blushed, looking away from the intense gaze.

You were smart enough to see that Mulligan liked you, but too stupid to see that Hamilton liked you as well. No wonder he was extremely kind and pleasant towards you. Emphasis on was. It was disheartening to think about his heart being affected by that witch.

“I, it’s a curse.” You said and Mulligan snapped his fingers, nodding.

“Makes sense. That was one of our ideas, please continue, Miss Y/N.” You scoffed at his cockiness, but spoke anyway.

“When Herc brought us to the home of that lady, we found her, we didn’t just walk in and find nothing. She let us in, and gave us this, this substance. We were given all these different colors, and we drank it. She sort of, made you guys get into this trance, and gave me an ultimatum. Either you guys stay that way, or she makes Hamilton hate me. I know, I should not have taken the deal. But you guys were just helping me, I didn’t want you to be stuck like that. You didn’t see it, you didn’t see how soulless you were, how empty your eyes were. I hated seeing you that way.” Tears grew in your eyes, and you were pulled into their arms, all of them squeezing you as right as possible.

They all told you that it was okay, that they would have chosen the same. “That’s the thing, you guys. I didn’t even say yes, but she did it anyway. She just, she made him hate me.”

“Y/N, do you have any idea why? Why she would do this?” Laurens asked, and they all let go to look at you.

“She said something about me hurting her before? That I did the same to her? I honestly have no clue why this happened, she probably mistook me for someone else. I don’t even belong here.” You rubbed your head.

“She said that you did the same thing to her?” Mulligan repeated, looking at the other men. You nodded, puzzled.

“Yea, why?”

The three men exchange looks, like they were speaking to each other while keeping their mouths closed. You looked at them, wondering what they were thinking. “Guys, tell me. What’s up?” You asked again.

They sighed, and Mulligan began to speak. “When we first got to the camp, there was this woman. She was quite interesting, she wore a long, black gown. When she saw Alexander, she immediately came up to him, telling him that they belonged together.” You raised your eyebrow. “Yes, well, he thought the same thing. But then she started speaking about this person that may appear in front of him and trick him to like her. She said that she may dress or look different than us. She told Hamilton not to trust her, that the woman that was coming was there to kill him.”

“That's…how?” You said, rubbing your head.

This was too much. She tells Hamilton that they’re supposed to be together, and that you were going to kill him. That makes no sense.

“But, now that I’m thinking about it, I cannot remember what she looked like. It is blurry.” Mulligan closed his eyes, thinking.

Lafayette nodded, rubbing his temples. “You’re right, Mulligan. I cannot seem to either. It’s like, like…”

“Like she wiped your memory.” You hissed. “Do you even know her name?” Mulligan shook his head, and you looked at the other two. They shrugged.

This is a mess, just a big mess.

You were transported back in time, and you find that you were supposed to be there. Then this mystery woman tells Hamilton that he’s going to run into you, that you were supposed to kill him. No wonder he was hesitate when he first met you, his hand staying on the gun. And now she puts this curse, making your friends forget and making Hamilton hate you.

“What is going on?” You said to no one in particular, sitting down on Lafayette’s bed. “I was just looking at images,” you glanced up at the boys, “paintings of a celebrity, and now, now, I made this stupid curse happen? Wow, I completely destroyed the future. Say goodbye to computers and television and porn.”

“Do not put all of the blame on yourself, Y/N.” You noticed that Laurens dropped the miss in your name. “It’s all of ours. We took the chance on this witch, and it was an error in judgement. We will figure this out, we will put Hamilton back to how he was before we encountered that witch.” Laurens tightened his fists, ready to fight.

“Laurens is right, Y/N. We are in together. Friends will do this together. Friends will support the each other.” You smiled at them, then looked at Mulligan. He was looking at you all, smiling.

“Now there is two wars to fight. By the way, what were you saying? Porn?” Mulligan asked, mildly curious.

“Two wars? Oh, are you talking about Y/N?” You heard Hamilton’s voice, and your heart dropped. It was hard to be in the same area as him, let alone in the same room. He did not notice you sitting there yet, since Mulligan’s stature was blocking you. “Can’t we just drop her off somewhere? It is better that she is off our hands, dealing with her is too much of a hassle.”

“You know what, Hamilton? How about treat Y/N with some respect, and stop acting like a complete bracket-faced, lobcock.” Mulligan hissed, glaring at his shorter friend. Hamilton widened his eyes, and you were confused. It sounded ridiculous, but it seemed to work, leaving Hamilton speechless.

“You do not have to be that harsh, Mulligan, you know the situation.” Laurens grumbled, hiding a smirk.

“Ah, but mon ami, he deserves it. I do not understand what he said, but it made me feel insulted.” Lafayette laughed, looking at Hamilton’s red face. You finally appeared from behind Mulligan’s figure, and Hamilton looked down at you, a frown on his face.

“Now you’ve taken my friends away from me? How kind of you.” He said sarcastically, crossing his arms. You were shocked that he was not at least a little bit embarrassed that you were there the whole time. “Why am I being treated this way? Y/N is the one that wormed her way into our lives. The three of you lads should despise her some sort of way.” Mulligan sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“You’re an ass, Hamilton.” You frowned, looking away from him. You heard him scoff in response.

“You were right, Y/N, he is insufferable.” The other two snickered. “Hamilton, we were just talking about you.” Mulligan said, looking at him. Hamilton raised a brow. “Do you remember how you felt about Y/N? Before we all went out with one another?”

Hamilton put his hand on his chin, looking down at you. “I thought that she was beautiful and smart and fascinating. But after that trip, all that seemed disappear. I finally see her for what she truly is. A-“

“Beautiful, smart and fascinating being.” Mulligan finished, looking at you. You looked away from him, and you saw out of the corner of your eyes, his shoulders slump down in defeat.

“You know that is not what I was saying.” Hamilton replied, ignoring the discourse between you and Mulligan. “I cannot stand being next to her. She is a nuisance.”

“Hamilton, if I may say, can you shut the fuck up for one second? She does not need your insults, and you are being worse than Charles Lee. Please, just stop.” Did they even use the word fuck in the 1700s? You looked at Laurens, and he was fuming, staring at his friend. This time Hamilton shut his mouth, finally startled. “Let Mulligan explain what’s going on with you. Then you can comment.”

Mulligan looked at Hamilton once more, then told him everything that I did. Hamilton nodded slowly, glancing down at you. There was still anger in his eyes, but for a moment, you thought you saw a little bit of sympathy show. It was immediately gone though, replaced with hatred. “So you are telling me that you let this woman make me this angry all the time? Do you have any notion on how this feels? To be, just, furious at anything? I thought it was because of the war, but no, it’s you, Y/N. You are the cause of this.” He began walking towards you, but he was held back by Lafayette standing in front of you.

“I do not care want to hurt you, mon ami. But if you try to land a hand on Y/N, I will surely have to.” He glowered fiercely at Hamilton, causing him to back up. You did not hear one word mispronounced in his threat, his eyes never moving from Hamilton’s. Mulligan looked at the commotion, rubbing his head. Laurens stayed quiet, deep in his thoughts. “And this is no one’s fault. No one is at fault here. Y/N did not choose for this to happen, and we did not choose to run into her. This is, how you say, fate. It is meant to happen.”

“Laf, now you’re starting to sound like Mulligan and Laurens. Do you not see that this makes no sense? This is a foolish endeavor, and I am not standing for it.”

You walked around Lafayette, standing in front of Hamilton. He stared you down, and you did the same, putting a finger on his chest. “Then sit down, Hamilton, because we have to deal with it.” You pushed him onto the bed, and he widened his eyes, looking up at you. “I get it, you hate me, you want to shoot me, you want to kill me. Whatever, I couldn’t give a flying fuck about what you think. For all I care, you could run away and act like the brat you are.”

“You know what-“ He started, but you put your hand up, silencing him.

“The Alexander Hamilton I met never acted this way. He never treated me like a piece of crap. I, I liked you, Hamilton. And I feel like I still do. And it’s hard, it’s really hard, to see past this curse that she put on you. But I believe we could rid of it, that we could find a way to stop her from making you into this, this despicable human being.” Mulligan jumped up, another idea in his eyes.

“How about this? We go to the Winter’s Ball?”

“Do you really want to party? Right now?” Laurens grumbled, staring at his Irish friend. Mulligan rolled his eyes, looking back at you.

“No. Everyone from town goes to that ball. Maybe if we go, we could find the witch there? It’s a small possibility, but if it stops Hamilton from being so infuriating and helps lift the curse, I think it is worth going. And it’s in a few days.” The rest of you looked at each other, and Hamilton sighed, getting up from the bed. He ignored looking at you, straightening his shirt.

“Fine, we’ll go. I want to feel like me again. And I want this mess with Y/N to end already, so that we could go back to worrying about the war.” Before any of us could agree with him, he walked out, leaving the four of us alone.

Lafayette looked worried, staring at us. I patted his arm softly, and he blushed. “Laf, if you could hug me before, why can’t I touch you?” He chuckled, rubbing his neck. “I agree with Hamilton, though, Herc. I want this mess to end as well, and I want you to worry about more pertinent matters than me. You have a country to create, an empire to fight. I’m standing in the way of that.”

Mulligan shook his head. “No, you are not. I told you to stop saying that about yourself. You are worth every second that I spend on you. Every second.”

You cleared your throat. “Um, thanks, Herc. I really appreciate it. I’ll go back to your tent, I’m going to take a rest.” You walked away from the rest, rubbing your face. You knew you had to tell Herc that you didn’t recuperate his feelings towards you, but he was so kind, and it was hard to let him down like that. He was your friend, but you needed to tell him that that’s all he would ever be. As you walked out, you bumped into a man. You looked at him, seeing those big, beautiful brown eyes of his. They were not kind anymore, but more of a dark, hard stare. You sighed, turning the other direction.

“Y/N, wait. I want to talk.” You stopped, turning back to him.

“About what, exactly? Are you going to insult me again? Make fun of my outfit? Try to make me cry?” You said, crossing your arms. Hamilton looked nervous, playing with his fingers. You immediately dropped your annoyance, looking at him. “Hamilton? Are you okay?”

“There is a part of me that looks at you, and I feel, I feel like I should like you. Like, we have a connection. But everytime I think of you in a positive light, this dark cloud, covers all of it. That’s why this is so hard to say. I really, really want to yell at you right now. I am holding it back so much. I hate feeling like this, like I’m not even me anymore.” You dropped your eyes to the ground.

Everyone has been trying to take the blame off of you, but it was true, you were the one who caused this. This, this witch caused this. But you were the target, she just wanted to see you suffer as you saw Hamilton suffer. 

“I’m so sorry, Alex. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to stop this from happening.” He held his head, spitting out vulgar insults and words that made the tears in your eyes fall. You made him into this monster, into this person. You ran over to him, but he pushed you away, his hands in fists.

“LEAVE Y/N, please, just go. I really want to hurt you, and I cannot stop myself for long” He cried out, staring at you. You saw your sweet Hamilton looking back at you, trapped in his own body. You got up and ran away, towards Hercules’s tent. Once you were inside, you dropped to the floor, your head in your hands.

What have you done?


Mulligan gave you a dress that he created for you to wear to the ball. You thanked him for the modest look, it not being as tight as you’ve seen in the history books. The rest of the boys just wore their revolutionary uniforms, ready to leave. Hamilton and you didn’t speak to one another, not talking about the incident that happened just days before. It was even more awkward, the other men in the room exchanging worried glances often. You did not get to see Washington, and hoped you didn’t. The way the men talked about him made him seem like a fierce man, one that you did not want to overshadow. Thankfully, the others always went to his tent, Washington never stepping in theirs.

“Are you ready, Y/N?” Laurens asked, smiling at you. You nodded, anxiously playing with the fabric on your dress. He went to touch your hair, but stopped himself, putting his hands down quickly.

“You know, in my time, if you even tried to touch me, you’ll be prosecuted and killed by gunfire.” Laurens widened his eyes in shock, and you laughed. “I’m kidding, Laurens. Just kidding.”

“Oh…” He laughed dryly, rubbing his arm. “The others are waiting for us. Mulligan got a carriage somehow, and they told me to come and get you.” You nodded, following Laurens out the tent. You walked a little with him, realizing that he was a very interesting person. He was more than just “make the first black battalion guy”, but he was kind and loud. Not as loud as Mulligan, but he was close.

You two walked to the carriage, Mulligan helping you up. You sat across from Hamilton, the scowl still stuck on his face. But his eyes glanced over you, and you could have sworn you saw the kindness come back. But just for a second. 

The ride was quiet, no one even trying to start a casual conversation. It felt like a mission, like this was the end of the line. Either you found the witch, or you were stuck here, for good. The five of you arrived at the ball, Lafayette putting your arm in his. You smiled at him, the nerves bubbling in your chest.

“It will be fine, Y/N.”

“I’m not nervous Laf, do I look nervous? Oh no, is my arm sweaty? Am I sweating?” You said quickly, looking down at yourself. You looked fine. Lafayette was smiling on you, shaking his head.

“You looked beautiful, mon ami.

“Thanks, Laf. You look handsome as well.” He grinned at you happily, the other four behind you. A man held the door open for him, and you nodded, smiling. The two of you walked through, and you widened your eyes at the openness of the room. It was enormous, candles lining the walls. Lafayette led you to a table, and you noticed that it was reserved, all their names written on a paper.

“Nice, who has the connections?” You asked, touching the paper. Hamilton advanced towards you, gesturing to himself.

“Me, of course. Lads, I heard the Schuyler sisters will be here tonight.” He said, ignoring your presence once again. You scowled at him, sitting down at the table. Mulligan shrugged, taking a seat next to you.

“We’re not here to woo the women, Hamilton. We’re here to see if we could find the witch that made you like this? Remember?” Hamilton was ignoring Mulligan, sipping on a drink in his hand. He spotted a woman in the distance, and winked at all of you, striding away. Laurens sighed, sitting at the table. Lafayette did the same, glancing at his retreating friend. “He is such a hassle to deal with. I do not think I could deal with more of this.”

“We’ll figure this out, Herc. Don’t worry.” You said, smiling at him. The other boys were looking around the room, trying to spot the witch. Once they asked what she looked like, your mind drew a blank. “Oh, no, don’t tell me-“

“She erased your memory as well?” Laurens said, shaking his head at the discovery. You cursed, looking at the dance floor. All the women dancing with the men didn’t look at all familiar to you, and you soon realized that this mission was pointless.

“She may be wearing something different? Something that stands out?” Mulligan suggested.

“Or she is normal dressed, like the other maidens.” Lafayette mumbled.

“This is not going to work out well, guys, we cannot find her if we have no idea what she looks like.” You grumbled, putting your head in your hands. You noticed out of the corner of your eye, Hamilton dancing with a woman. He was laughing and smiling at her, the opposite of how he acted with you. You heart ached, watching them dance together. The woman was small, with an olive skin tone. She had long, black hair, waving in the air as Hamilton lead her. Mulligan followed your gaze, seeing you watching the two of them. He looked back at you, a pained expression on his face.

“Would you care to dance, Y/N?” Mulligan asked, holding out his hand. You widened your eyes, shaking your head quickly.

“No, I can’t, I can barely walk on my two feet.” He raised his eyebrow, still holding out his hand. You sighed, placing your hand in his. He walked you to the dance floor, and placed a hand on your waist, the other hand in yours. You put your available hand on his shoulder, and he glided across the floor, teaching you how to follow his steps. You did so, and soon, you caught up to the rhythm. He joked around with you and twirled you along.

“I like you, Y/N.” Herc said as he glided you across the floor. You looked up at him, and he smiled down sadly. “I know, you don’t have to say it. I know you do not feel the same.” You sighed. Mulligan was a really good man, an amazing man, but your feelings for him just did not feel the same as with Hamilton.

“I’m sorry, Hercules.” You whispered. He shook his head.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Y/N.” The conversation ended there, and he began joking around again, like he didn’t just confess his feelings towards you.

You could not help but feel safe in his arms, although you caught yourself glancing at Hamilton ever so often. He caught your eyes, looking at Hercules dancing with you. Eventually, he excused himself from dancing with the woman, bowing to her. She curtsied, and he watched her walk away.

He began walking to the both of you, but was interrupted by a woman stopping him. She wore a black dress, different from the rest of the bright colors in the room. You noticed how she touched Hamilton’s arm, caressing it softly. He looked uncomfortably, but kindly spoke to her, smiling at her softly. You looked up at Mulligan.

“Herc, do you see that lady?” He spun you around, looking over your shoulder. He nodded.

“She seems suspicious, and she’s touching Hamilton, like…”

“Like they’re da-courting. Herc, it might be her.” He nodded, letting go of your hands. He began marching over, but you grabbed his arm. “No, you can’t just do that. She’ll see you.” He looked at his friend, biting his lip.

“Then what do we do?”

“We watch her, wait until she does something stupid. Or if Hamilton does something stupid first.” You turned back to them, noticing that they began dancing. You caught her eye, and gasped, digging your fingers into Mulligan’s harm. He touched your hand, rubbing it softly.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You could barely speak, looking at her dancing with Hamilton. Her face, no it couldn’t be. It can’t be. Lafayette and Laurens walked over, seeing that the two of you were frozen on the dance floor. They tried getting your attention, but you were stuck, looking at the two of them dance.

“Y/N! Listen to me! What’s wrong?” Herc yelled, and you finally looked at him.

“Herc…that’s, I know her.” You whispered, and he raised his eyebrow.

“What?”

“I know her! She’s, she’s my friend. She’s the one that told me about the soundtrack, she’s the one that invited me to the Hamilton show. She’s…” The witch, the one that cursed you and the boys.

She was your best friend.


his was such a mulligan x reader chapter lol, i kicked our little ham boy to the side hahaha

Wtf?

Am I the only one who is a bit shocked about today’s episode?
Am I the only one who does not like how Naruto act in the new series?

He comes home, does not even greet his children, completely ignores his family, does not even look at them properly, nothing. No hugs, no kiss, completely without love. He does not even look at his family properly.

He dont give a damn Fuck. Wtf?

He is the Hokage. Okay. He is tired. Okay. But .. Really?

Hokage, Hokage. But … Wtf?! He completely ignores his family, his children, his wife! This is not right and that is .. this is not Naruto. He would not act like that.


And I am just …

This is so badly portrayed, I hate it. This is not Naruto in my eyes.

The only reason I watch this Anime is … I just want to see more Gaara. More Sand Siblings.

And for Gods Sake, please don´t let Gaara be so Ooc like Naruto is in this Episode.  It’s just my opinion. Accept this. ;3

PLEASE_NOT.

Fanfiction culture has become an incredibly toxic place for me over the last few years, and it’s really started to hit me this year how bad it really is. I’ve watched creator after creator delete their tumblrs, delete their fics, delete entire worlds they’ve come up with, all because of factors that are far too prevalent among fans etc. 

I’ve helped friends deal with, and dealt with myself, situations where fics are re-posted, with or without credit but never with permission, seen fics with there names changed and passed off as the work of another author for another fandom as if that will prevent them from being caught, and I’ve watched as slowly, slowly creators just stopped putting up a fight because what’s the point

I’ve watched authors be attacked for not updating on time, or for being too sick (mentally, physically, etc.) to write any more of their recent fic, seen fans demand a sequel that the author doesn’t even want to write as if it’s owed to them. 

I’ve seen fans steal copies of people’s works and re-post them when the creator chooses to delete, defending themselves by saying it’s their favorite fic and they didn’t want to lose “ownership” over it, but that right there is the problem in itself. 

Fanfiction writers don’t get paid to write you fics. They have lives, and school, and sometimes even jobs that they have to deal with every single day to make sure that they can live the life they want to live. They come home at night, and they choose to spend their free time writing fanfiction for themselves and the world to enjoy, but they don’t get paid for this. They don’t get piad, and they be no means have to write anything, let alone what you demand of them. 

And it’s heartbreaking really, because I’m watching my friends get broken down by demands for more more more, and I watch them cry over the fact that it isn’t even encouragement or supportive comments - it’s just a constant barrage of where are you, why haven’t you done this, i want an update, i hate waiting, and it’s tearing us apart. 

I hardly see supportive feedback anymore. When it’s there, it’s wonderful and amazing and reminds me why I love to write so much, but unfortunately in life, the bad eclipses’s the good, and it’s discouraging. It’s so discouraging that I’ve watched amazing creator after amazing creator given up and delete, and I’m tired. 

I am so, so tired of hating myself and my writing because all it brings me is grief - why didn’t you do this, this would have been better, you should have reversed the roles, this trope is so old

you haven’t updated in two months, why did you start posting if you weren’t going to finish

being ace is unfair to the other character, he should be more understanding of his partners needs

We, as fanfiction writers, put these fics out there for you to enjoy, but we also do it for ourselves, and I’m tired of being underappreciated and harassed 

If you don’t want your favorite fanfictions deleted, support the author

If you want an author to update, remind them how much you love their fic, but understand that life can be hard

If you don’t enjoy something personally, remember that an authors writing decisions are not based on you

In the new year, I hope to see more of my friends and myself appreciated rather than torn down for all the work that we do, because I know I’m not the only one suffering from the actions of our fans

The Protective King

Originally posted by tinysofia


A/N: So here is my first Thranduil x reader/wife. It’s super long but hey, the more the merrier. I hope you will enjoy this one and all the sandarin translation will be under this note! In the future I may do the translation in the text but that depends on how many elvish words I use. Now enjoy!

Word count: 1691

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Sorry this might be long but I just want to vent to someone. I understand that some people not like sjm's books for various reasons (mostly the lack of representation), but what I don't get is that there's an actual fandom of anti-s*j*m. Never before have i ever seen an actual fandom of people who are anti anything, or blogs solely dedicated to hating someone's work. Authors are human too. (1/2)

Just compare her to JKR. She had 7 books in her series and as far as I can remember there’s one, maybe 2, canon black characters throughout the series, and theyre hardly seen, and I’ve never seen an anti-jkr fandom or blogs only dedicated to hating her work. I just don’t understand why anyone would make a blog dedicated to hating a person. These people are human. (2/2)

I understand what you’re saying. SJM is hardly the only example of a book that has bad PoC representation, and few prominent LGBTQ characters. But for some reason, her work inspires anti blogs whereas other books, that have the same issues don’t. It’s something that has struck me as odd as well. 

That’s not to say that reading with a critical eye is not important. It really is, and we definitely do need to be demanding more from authors in terms of good rep. (I know this might seem contradictory to my whole “i read for enjoyment” thing but I’ll get to that in a second.”) What bothers me about antis is that they…build this entire identity for themselves that is based around hating something? And I don’t think hatred is the best emotion to have when going into critiquing something. 

Similarly, it’s not as if antis are these people who just disliked a plot line or something in an SJM book and put the series down. No, they are clearly people who have read all the books, and keep reading them, and in some way are actively participating in the fandom. That’s what I don’t get. I respect anyone’s reason for not enjoying Sarah’s books- not every book is for everyone, and I can easily see how someone might read Nehemia’s death in CoM, roll their eyes because of how utterly offensive and badly plotted it is and then put the books down forever. And I respect that. What I don’t understand about the anti mentality is that they keep coming back, and reading, and engaging. There is of course room for posts about why we don’t like a certain book, I’ve obviously hated books before too and I’ve definitely complained about things. So when I say anti i really dont mean people who just criticize the things they disliked in acowar or something, I really just mean people who have an entire blog dedicated to hating something. But in order to keep that blog fueled with hatred they have to keep reading the thing they hate and it’s like…wow almost as if you even enjoy that thing???

It’s almost as if engaging in anti discourse is how they make themselves feel better for enjoying portions of this problematic thing? And that’s why I’m a big proponent of reading whatever you want for enjoyment—you should be able to enjoy whatever it is you enjoy without feeling badly about it. Because frankly, no book you read is going to be “unproblematic” in some way and no book is going to be perfect and without valid criticism. It’s almost as if antis enjoy SJM’s books in some ways, but feel guilty for enjoying it, so in order to cope with that guilt, they trash her for everything, and anything. For instance, I adore LOTR, and am not going to feel guilty for enjoying it, but I also acknowledge that the way Tolkien handles people of color (namely by making them orcs…) is shit and racist and not something that we should ever see in any fantasy novel again. You can…enjoy something and also know that it has problems. My blog is generally geared towards focusing on the things about books that I enjoy, because Idk, I got tired of all the hate after acowar, and am finally reemerging into the sphere of critical discourse. 

I also think that the anti mentality comes from people enjoying these books, then going on tumblr and seeing what other people have to say that is negative, and then thinking oH SHIT I NEED TO HATE THESE BOOKS TOO. Except…you enjoyed them for a reason, and you can’t…get rid of that enjoyment, all you can do is say “hey well there are some not so great things about these books and here’s why.” 

You shouldn’t…blindly hate someone for writing things in a way that you dislike. SJM has creative license and it’s seriously not up to us what happens in the book. I’m not talking about people with valid critiques of how she handles marginalized characters, I’m talking about the antis who HATE how Chaol and Aelin were written, who dislike the way characters develop, who want to burn SJM at the stake for DARING to write characters who don’t act perfectly all of the time. That’s the anti shit that really pisses me off. You can be critical all you want, and call out the things that need to be called out but…you don’t really have a leg to stand on if your discourse starts with “I can’t BELIEVE how she wrote Celaena’s character after CoM, Aelin is the fucking worst, I’m pretending that Aelin doesn’t exist.” I mean whatever, sure, but ultimately people do need to realize that authors get to make their own choices about how their characters developed and uh…whats in the book is ultimately who the character *actually* is and it’s not always going to line up with who the readers thought the character was but…um, sorry? That happens. And yes you’re allowed to be dissatisfied with a character but if you hate her that much, put the book down??? 

Finally, I think that SJM’s books inspire anti-ness because they are so so SO dramatic as to be polarizing. She’s constantly taking tropes (like the bad boy turned hero) and stretching them to the extreme. She is constantly beating her characters down and heaping trauma on them. There are a lot of *gasp* moments in tog and acotar. A lot of crying. A lot of screaming moments as well. And…while someone like me LIVES L I V E S for drama, a lot of people react negatively to it in the extreme. The books are polarizing because they are laden with emotion and melodrama and that doesnt work for everyone.

tldr; actual critical discussions of sjm are great and we should acknowledge the problems in her books especially in terms of marginalized characters. idk why there is an entire portion of this website dedicated to hating her, but i tried to give you some pseudo-psychological explanations for it. 

2

Mikaelson, a name you hated to hear, more specifically you hated the name Kol Mikaelson. With every fiber in your body, that name erupted anger and the desire to make sure he felt nothing but pain. Others warned you that carrying that sort of emotion wasn’t healthy, nor would it do you any favors in the long run. But you weren’t one to listen to other people’s advice.

New Orleans was a city that you longed to visit, now that you had particularly an eternity to live there was no better time then now.

Renting a small housing complex, you had only been here a few days and already there was chatter in the wind about your arrival. No-one knew who you were, but a new girl strolling into town seemed to make a lot of noise throughout the city. And the one thing you hated, more than Kol, was to have unnecessary attention drawn to you.

But that’s exactly what happened when the one person in the entire universe you prayed not to see, showed up at your doorstep, looking annoyingly cocky.

“I got tired of waiting for you to show up on my doorstep, love, so here I am on yours”. He proclaimed as he waltzed in and made himself at home.

Letting the door slam shut, you clenched your jaw and lunged towards Kol, sending him flying over the couch.

He immediately stood up, glaring at you. “Now that wasn’t very nice, darling”.

“Well go cry about it to someone who gives a shit, Kol. Now get out of my house!”. You angrily stated.

Vamping towards you, he pushed your back sharply against the bookshelf. “And why would I do that? We’re just getting started, love. I must say that I find vampire you a lot more fun”.

Punching him in the face, you threw him to the floor which he quickly recovered from. Unexpectedly he kicked your leg from underneath and sent you tumbling to the ground.

Groaning, you squeezed your eyes shut.

Kol picked up the baseball bat that had been sitting in the corner near the bookshelf. “Oh dear, I’ve hit a nerve. Relax, darling, I just want us to be even“.

Standing up, and wiping off the blood that came from the small cut on your lip. You shot an icily dagger stare at Kol. “You turned me into a vampire out of spite! We’ll never be even"

The insufferable smirk on his face, irritated you in every way. “Being a vampire suits you, Y/N. In fact, I did you a favor. And instead of humiliating me like you did the last time and punching me in the face this time, you should be honored that I even turned you”.

You had a short fuse when it came to Kol, and every encounter with him over the past century, he always managed to lit up that fuse. “And you should still be rotting in that coffin Klaus put you in, but we can’t all get what we want, can we?”.

That pushed Kol’s buttons, his face turned from amused to deadly. “I’ve always liked pretty things with sharp tongues, and you Y/N never fail to impress me with how sharp yours can be”. He waved the bat around, wanting to look intimidating.

“I would say you should see what else I can do with it. But I highly doubt you could handle it”. Taunting him. Running towards Kol, you grabbed the bat from his hands and threw it across the room. As you were about to grab him again, he was slightly quicker and flipped you onto the bed.

Pinning you down, he sat on top. His eyes trying to read your own.

“Wouldn’t you say that this is much better than arguing? I’m quite enjoying the view from up here, and I already have several ideas on how you can use that sharp tongue of yours”. He gave a rather smug look your way.

Perhaps your anger towards Kol could be dealt in a different way, but knowing that he could fold so easily, well, you could use it to your advantage.

Your hand trailed up his thigh and using vamp sped, you turned the tables so now you had the control. Leaning all the way down to his ear, you seductively whispered. “This pretty sharp tongue will never be yours, Kol Mikaelson. So I’m going to count to three and by that time your ass should be out that door”.

He got up within seconds and stopped just shy from the door, “Just so you know darling, this isn’t finished, not by a long shot”.

Once he was indeed gone, you looked around the mess surrounding the living room and quietly muttered to yourself. “It never is”.

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