i am so stoked!!!!!

favorite things my intro lit professor said this past semester, with no context:

  • “today we’re handing out an award for the worst Bible father”
  • “ah, my son, go fuck yourself”
  • “someone else read, I’m tired of hearing the sound of my own voice. I’m kidding, that will never happen. but seriously. someone.” 
  • “okay! phallus doesn’t work, gotta have a life now”
  • “I would have loved if Santa Claus was a poet, he would have written some wild Freudian Rudolph poems”
  • “it’s parching time”
  • “don’t talk to me about Barbie Rapunzel. I’ve watched Barbie Rapunzel four times.”
  • “if you’re gonna get flayed, it might as well be elaborate”
  • “come on guys I too am tired and hungry but this class is going to be so boring if none of you talk”
  • “and Quilty won the internet that day”
  • “I see them now, all of your little post-it notes of hate”

Okay seriously…how fucking gorgeous are Olara and Varl? X_X

Elena Anaya reveals the secret motives and tragic history behind her Wonder Woman villain
Fans of Spanish actress Elena Anaya might have had a hard time recognizing her in Patty Jenkins’ superhero sensation Wonder Woman. Anaya is a headliner in Spain, with starring roles in films...
By Tasha Robinson

“I went to Patty Jenkins and asked, “What happened to her?” And she said, “She did it on purpose… She wants to provoke painful suffering, so she tested her own gas on her own face.” …This is the sadistic side of Dr. Maru.”

Holy crap, Dr. Poison. 

Inktober Day 6: Sword

“25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying ‘Where is the flaming sword that was given unto thee?’
26 And the Angel said, 'I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next.’
27 And the Lord did not ask him again.”
― Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

anonymous asked:

prompt: boy squad playing the floor is lava and Even being his usual extra self climbing in the most ridiculous places

skjdskdjskdj I LOVE THIS PROMPT!!! 
i took the liberty of forming it into them playing true american - and now im so hyped to play it soon with my friends hahaaaa - the rules are the ones we play it with i hope you like <3

It started out as one of the most normal pregames. They all planned to go to some party with Eskild and Eva later and the boys were at Isak’s and Even’s and had brought a lot of beer (even though Isak now was a bit offended because he finally was able to do that officially and wanted to do it but then again, he knew he would never see the money of those dudes before the year was over).

So, after they all settled in their usual pregame at Evak’s places (Mahdi, Isak and Magnus at the little table, Even and Jonas on pillows on the floor, their backs against the bed), they somehow got to the point where Magnus asked “Did anyone of you shotgun before?”.

This resulted in Isak’s head whipping around as he shot a warning look towards Even who grinned in his beer and raised his brows innocently as if to say what? And Jonas to ask, “What you mean with weed?” at which Isak relaxed visibly.

“No, what? No, I meant shotgunning a beer.” Mags explained and Mahdi nodded. “Yeah, you mean where you put the pencil in it and then open it.” Mags nodded and pointed a finger at Mahdi gesturing his agreement.

“Yes! Exactly! You ever done that before, Mahdi?” Magnus voice was excited (when was it not, though?) as he asked that. Mahdi shook his head.

“No, man. I just know it from this show, New Girl.”

“Oh, I love that show!” Came Even’s voice (the moment he didn’t have something to say about shows or movies was yet to come), Isak rolled his eyes. “You mean this ridiculous game they play there?”

So, this is how they ended up playing True American. Of course they googled the rules which let them to find, there are indeed no real rules to the game. At one point Mahdi held his phone in the air and signaled them to all stop talking.

“Ok, ok. Let’s just make up our own rules. We have five stations where each of us starts out and three obstacles between those and whatever you can find but you have to move on. Just whoever’s turn it is asks a question and we have to write it down and whoever is wrong needs to move forward. When you’re at the next station you need to take another beer and you can’t have more than two beers in your hand which means you need to chug if it comes to that. Oh, and the floor is lava, obviously.”

“Obviously.” Jonas replies and exchanged a grinning but eyerolling look with Isak. But Isak’s face morphed into pure fondness when he heard an excited giggle come from Even who rubbed his hands together and bounced bounced bounced up and down.

So, they placed the table in the middle and put the beer on it and after that decided on official obstacles in the tiny flat (pillows, chairs, duvet, the bed, basically everything was ok except from the tv stand and the table as they all agreed).

Isak and Mahdi took place on chairs, Magnus was on a pillow, Jonas on the bed and Even was sitting on a sideboard (this obstacle took the longest to convince the boys of as official).  

“Haha! Awesome!” Magnus exclaimed as Isak had all handed them pencils and they took their positions.

“What exactly happens now again?” Asked Jonas – they’ve gone over it at least three times already, so he was met with a lot of groans. Jonas lifted his arms to gesture sorry! And rolled his eyes again.

“We shotgun the beer.” Said isak, wiggling the can he was holding towards Jonas and Even added “Mags counts down from four to one and shouts JFK and we answer with FDR. First to finish their beer is the one that starts the game.”

Magnus lighted up (even more) at that and clapped his hands together. “I get to shout JFK?” he looked so happy that all the boys just smiled and nodded. “Awesome! Ok! Ready?” Again, all of nodded after they took position, pencil in place.

“Four, three, two, one, JFK!” dutifully the other answered with shouting “FRD!” and rammed their pencils in the beer. Mags, Isak and Mahdi got it right (which means they turned the beer can around before they hit the pencil in) but Even and Jonas didn’t which means before they could put their mouths on the can they were splashed with beer. (They may or may not have screeched while this happened, which may or may not resulted in Mahdi choking on his beer because he was laughing so hard.)

The game was basically a mixture of the best friend game and childhood memories of the floor is lava and their faces were soon red from laughing and when Jonas almost slipped on a pillow and caught himself with a hand on the floor. Isak, Mahdi and Mags all made “HGM!” sounds – all had their mouths full with beer – and pointed at him. While Even shrugged and said “Guess your hand is gone.”

“What?” He asked disbelievingly.

“Just don’t use it anymore.” Isak put in and Jonas shook his head with a frown,

“But I’m holding two beers and need to climb on stuff!”

Mags turned to look at a spot in the middle as if he was in an episode of the office and said: “And that kids, is why you shouldn’t touch molten hot lave.”

Which they all complained about was the ridiculous of obstacles Even found. He had the longest legs by a mile (“literally!” as Mags yelled) and could easily go from one station to the other and found safe places everywhere. Isak got nervous every time he chose something where it looked like he could fall like a windowsill and they all pleaded the case to exclude the ‘if you find a safe place you’re good’ rule after Even managed to balance on a freaking pot with the plant Liv got them (Isak lifted a finger in warning bc it was his birthday plant ok?? Don’t you hurt it, Even!).

The questions were mostly harmless: what’s your favourite breakfast food (which got them a revival of the pancakes vs. waffles discussion), longest relationship, favourite spice (at which both Isak and Even grinned and Isak exclaimed KARDEMOMME! Which had him drink 3 punishment sips because well now he already said it), what’s the thing you always have with you and so on.

Then of course there were the not so harmless questions: wildest position you ever tried, where was your most awkward/badly timed boner in public (“In English, all Isak’s fault” – “Whatttt??”), best blow job of your life, who took your virginity (when Even answered that with both Isak and Sonja you bet’cha that Isak – because he had a lot of beer and after a few he didn’t blush so easily anymore – looked smug and received high fives from Mahdi and Jonas (which was almost impossible from their different stations) and Magnus lifted both arms in the air and exclaimed “I finally have an answer!” before Even winked (attempted, he attempted to wink) and said “Are you sure?” Which left Magnus confused and Isak laughing.

So, when they finally made their way to meet up with Eskild and Eva, they were long passed tipsy and more than on the way to drunk. Mahdi walked in the middle of Mags and Jonas, an arm around both of them and told them over and over that he loved them both to pieces. Mags gushed about Vilde with a dreamy look on his face and Jonas nodded and agreed but at the same time was in the middle of a completely different monologue about capitalism.

Isak and Even were so tangled in one another that it was actually a miracle that they could even move. Both just nuzzled and hugged and gave each other sloppy, sticky kisses.

(Eskild and Eva were no different so all was good - It. was. fun.)

Merlot (Eggsy Unwin x Reader)

A/N: So, I am stoked for the new Kingsman movie and wanted to write a little angsty/smutty Eggsy. Hope you guys like it!!! Enjoy!! xx

Warnings: smut, angst, typical Eggsy

Originally posted by taronegertononline

A waltz drifted through the air and the hum of the crowded ballroom. The music rose and fell, causing you to gently sway in time with the music. Your white, floor length gown fluttered with your movements. You let your gaze wander up to the grand vaulted ceiling above you. A magnificent crystal chandelier hung from the mural covered ceiling. You could admire the paintings for hours. 

A sharp voice in the radio in your ear interrupted your thoughts. “Stay focused, Gwenevere. You have a mission to carry out.” You silently cursed yourself for getting distracted and heeded Merlin’s words. You were here on a mission for the Kingsman. The mission, to infiltrate Isaac Rovanov’s birthday ball and find a main frame computer to hack into his documents and chemical weapons plans. To do so, you had to mingle with the crowd a bit and find a time to sneak away without arousing suspicion.  

You, however, were not alone on this mission. The Kingsman’s pride and joy, Galahad, was with you. Eggsy was an insufferable flirt and a pompous cock who made you want to do unspeakable things to him behind closed doors. He may be annoying but damn, that wink and smooth voice could make you melt. 

As you scanned the dance floor for your partner, a strong hand came to rest on your waist and your could feel warm lips against your ear. “Looking for me, love?” Eggsy whispered. 

A hot shiver ran down your spine and you were positive he could feel it because his grip got a little tighter. “Are you ready to get on with it?” you ask, ignoring his quip.

“Oh, I’m always ready to get it on.” He pulled you into his side, winking at you slyly and allowing a devilish smirk to grace his face. His dark blue eyes sparkled in the light of the chandelier. Gracefully, he led you across the dance floor towards a hallway that Merlin had discovered led to Rovanov’s private quarters. 

“We have to make it convincing,” you whispered. As if on cue, Eggsy slid his hand down to your ass and gave it a squeeze. 

“Easy,” he whispered back, a smirk still on his face. Through a grimace, you managed to force a giggle and rubbed yourself up against the agent. You pushed Eggsy against the velvety wall just before the hallway and peppered his jaw in light nips and kisses. You hoped a few party goers and security would see, assuming you were a young couple in need of a little privacy. “Very convincing, (Y/N),” Eggsy moaned through clenched teeth. He grabbed your hand and led you down the hall. 

“The door is up on your left and the code is 1986,” Merlin said in both of your ears. Eggsy pushed you up against the door in question, attaching his lips to your neck. He sucked and nipped as he punched in the numbers on the door’s key pad. You could feel your thighs begin to tremble and you had to bite your lip to hold back a genuine moan. 

The door swung open and Eggsy pushed you into the room, closing the door swiftly and quietly behind him. You both heard the door click and lock. The room you walked into was one of elegance and romance. Only lit by candlelight, the darkly decorated room was centered around a grand four-poster bed with crimson curtains. The duvet was also crimson but interlaced with gold flowers. A plush carpet muffled the sound of your heels and a marble fireplace stood cold and empty on one end. Rovanov’s desk and computer was opposite the fireplace. 

You did a slow spin as you examined the room before resting your gaze on Eggsy. He was staring at you, his eyes fiery and his lip caught in between his teeth. “I should have brought some wine for such a romantic occasion,” he said, sauntering towards you. 

“We’re on a mission, Galahad. Besides, the convincing is over,” you said, turning away from the brunette and towards the computer. Eggsy grabbed you by the arm, however, and in one strong movement, pulled you into his chest. 

“Oh, come on, (Y/N). Don’t you at least agree that a little chardonnay would go great with this moment?” He looked down at you with lust filled eyes.

You slowly ran your hands up and down his chest, feeling a low growl rumble within him. “A nice Merlot would go better. I like things with a little… bite.” 

Eggsy crashed his lips against yours. He tasted like spearmint and oaky whiskey. You dragged your nails down Eggsy’s chest, working on the buttons of his suit jacket. He chewed on your bottom lip as he pushed you back towards the massive bed. His hands clung to your waist and only left to shake off his jacket. He reached behind you and hastily unzipped the back of your dress. The dress pooled around your feet. You were only wearing a black lace thong. 

“Guys, c’mon! You have work to…” Merlin began shouting into your earpieces. 

You dug yours out of your ear and Eggsy did the same after saying, “Give us eight minutes.” Eggsy deftly picked you up and laid your down on the bed. He stripped off his crisp white shirt and crawled over you. He roughly pressed his lips against yours before dragging them across your jaw, down the sensitive flesh of your neck, and through the valley of your breasts. His finger tips dug into your breasts as he kneaded them, swirling his tongue around your sensitive nipples. 

You let out a quick moan as his teeth grazed the sensitive buds. “Eggsy…” A growl emanated from him at the sound of his name and he worked even rougher. He nipped and sucked his way south, leaving growing, purple bruises along your bare skin. Eggsy looked up at you with half-lidded eyes and a smirk before taking your thong between his teeth and dragging it down your legs. He discarded the garment onto the floor and roughly pushed your legs apart.

A shudder shot through you at the sudden cold air. He lowered his face incredibly close to your heat and your could feel his warm breath on you. Teasingly, he licked one long, agonizing stripe up your folds. A whimper escaped your lips and he chuckled as he removed his trousers. He crawled over you and positioned himself between your legs. “This will be extremely convincing, eh, love?” he whispered huskily before pushing into you.

You snaked your arms around his back and dug your nails into his skin. An animal-like moan escaped you as he roughly pulled out and thrust back into you. Your skin tingled with fiery electricity as Eggsy aggressively pumped in and out of you. Almost instantly, the knot of an orgasm began to build in your stomach. Eggsy reached down and pulled your leg up higher, giving him more access. You growled and dragged your nails down his back as he thrust deeper into you. 

“Eggsy,” you whimpered as your orgasm built. With a growl, Eggsy pinned your hands above your head, holding himself up and getting an even deeper angle. His arms flexed on either side of you and his thrusts began to become sloppier. 

“Fuck, (Y/N), I’m gonna,” he began before cutting himself off with another growl and a moan. You could feel him twitch inside of you. Your eyes rolled back as your arched your back and felt your own orgasm overcome you. It spilled over and your breath quickened. You moaned Eggsy’s name as you began to come down and Eggsy burst inside of you. He slowly pulled out of you, a mix of fluids staining the ornate duvet. 

Eggsy laid down next to you, catching his breath and allowing his muscles to relax. In a calm silence, the two of you dressed yourselves. As Eggsy slowly zipped up the back of your dress, he placed a soft kiss on the nape of your neck. “You taste better than any wine I could think of,” he whispered. 

It was your turn to smirk at him as the two of you replaced your ear pieces. Just then, the door clicked and unlocked. “Fuck me,” you whispered through clenched teeth.

“Just did.” And Eggsy flashed a confident smile your way.

MANIA is going to by far be the longest time fob has ever spent recording an album as compared to tttyg (2 weeks, which they said was very rushed), futct (2 months), ioh (3 months, but pete talked about it in gray about how the record label wanted to get it out fast), fad (2 months, notoriously rushed as hell), srar (5 months, but they were finding their groove as a band again after the hiatus), abap (2 months, but they tried to get it out ASAP to get out of the studio because they had new kids and stuff)

and then U have MANIA.. which fob has been working on and off since the bloom tour last year.. which is like what? 15 months once its out in janurary 2018? wild. absolutely fuckin WILD dude and i am so soooo ridiculously stoked to see what fob’s gonna do with this one considering their REALLY reaaallly taking their time on it, more so than any other album theyve done before and by like a really drastic difference

The Summer Fling (Chapter 8) - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “San Diego Convention Center”

Relationship: Dylan O’Brien x Reader/OFC

Author’s Note: This is July 20th. Okay. Cool. Bye.

Summary: Dylan spends his morning talking about his relationship with you to Tyler and Colton, before he has an uncomfortable run in in the middle of the convention center.

Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine

Originally posted by agentmitchrapp

“Bro, I am so emotional today, I can’t even talk about Teen Wolf before the panel or I’m gonna lose it. Can we please talk about something else?” Tyler complained to Colton.

“Fine. Let’s talk about you. Bella Thorne? Really, Ty?” Colton teased and Dylan snickered.

“Oh, yea, this is a better topic for him.” Dylan mumbled sarcastically, without looking up from his phone.

“I mean, honestly, Tyler, what were you thinking? She’s kind of trashy and she was way too young for you.” Colton criticized Posey over his choice in women.

Keep reading


WOWOWOWOOW!! My 100 years of Rickmorty fanzine from @futagogo has arrived! Thank you so so so so so so much for his amazing early/late birthday gift haha, you guys are honestly the best I love you so much ;-; 💛💛!! And a HUGE thanks to all the other people @100yearsofrickmorty for putting this together, and all the incredible artists featured with in, there’s so many beautiful pieces I just can’t get enough! Wow!! It’s probably the shiniest thing in my possession now! XD