i am so proud of you son

i have a fake son.
his name is Tim and he is working on his M.S. in astrophysics at Berkeley.
he is devestatingly handsome and enjoys rock climbing and volunteers as a counselor at the local YMCA there in Berkeley, California.
i am so proud of my fake son. i have raised him up in my own head to be such an outstanding member of society.
“Tim” is only brought up when asked about by one particular woman at work that i only see on occasion. i don’t make a habit or game of lying to people, but with her, it kinda came about as follows:
Faye is one of those people who has been there/done that and will hang herself on the cross while she tells you how much worse the experience was for her. i’ve seen this woman Kanye West an 8-month pregnant girl at said girl’s own baby shower to glorify the gift she gave her as well as go into how horrible her labor was with her own children. Faye also is a braggart. her car/purse/house/ring/shoes/etc. all cost more than whatever yours did and her children are all angels.
i was forced to work with Faye for 2 days about 5 years ago. she called me Emily a few times before i finally told her my name is Amy, not Emily. she gave me a sideways glance and said, “I like Emily better”, and since then, she has always called me Emily. i let this go because to get angry with her and tell her off is to see her become dramatic and begin crying and insist she did not mean anything by it while not issuing anything close to an apology. Faye is always right, too, you know.
anyway, when she shut up long enough about herself and her fabulous offspring on the second day, she asked, “Do you have any children, Emily?”
i replied that i do not. she then launched into her daughter taking fertility drugs so that she could give her mother grandchildren someday.
that was the only question she asked me until i saw her about a year later.
“Oh, HI, Emily! How are you?!”
“Hi, Faye…how are you?”
“Wonderful, wonderful. Stephen just graduated from UT. He’s going to be the best doctor ever! How is your son, uh, Tim?”
it took me a second. Tim? son? what the hell is she talking about?!
it dawned on me what a complete narcissist she truly is. she hadn’t heard me the day she asked if i had children, because she didn’t care. she didn’t care enough to call me by my real name, so it wasn’t much of a surprise.
i couldn’t stop myself. i briefly thought about correcting her, but i decided to just go with it.
“Tim is doing so well. He was just accepted to Berkeley after his amazing thesis on planetary nebuli. We are so proud of him.”
her eyes grew big. “Oh, how nice! But, Berkeley? That’s so far from home. UT is an excellent school; surely he could’ve been accepted there?…”
i gave a small chuckle. “Oh, well, they wanted him for sure, Faye. I mean, all the letters he received, practically BEGGING him to study there. But, well, they just don’t have a sufficient astronomy department. UT is a fine school, but not for the subject that Tim is going into. Astrophysics is not something you can study just anywhere, you know.”
her eyes narrowed. “Medicine is what these young people should be going into. Astrophysics? What is that, anyway? How will it contribute to the world?”
“Gosh, I don’t really know how to explain astrophysics, Faye. It’s so mind blowing for simple minds like mine and yours. But searching for things in space that could potentially help our planet is a pretty big deal, I think.”
Faye promptly excused herself. i knew i had gotten her.
i’ve bumped into her on and off throughout the past 5 years and she always told me how her angels were saving the world, especially Stephen, and then she’d ask about Tim. and i made sure my Tim was one step above her Stephen. her face would turn crimson and she would have to abruptly leave.
i saw her as i was leaving work yesterday and she stopped me to wish me a happy Easter.
“Stephen is coming home this holiday. He’s bringing his fiance. She’s a doctor too, you know. How is Tim? Don’t tell me he’s still not graduated?…”
“Oh, Faye, don’t be silly! Astrophysics takes YEARS to graduate from. It’s not as simple as medicine. But, yes, he is close to graduating.”
“Is he coming home for Easter? I can’t imagine spending holidays without my children; how dreadful! Oh, but he’s all the way in California…it costs so much to fly here, I assume.”
I grinned. “Yes, it does. But he’s such a sweetheart, he’s flying me out there this year! Taking a break from his studies and humanitarian efforts to have his dear ol’ Mom around for Easter. I’m so lucky!”
“…yes, well, have a nice time, Emily. Happy Easter!”
“You too, Kay! Oh, I mean Faye!”
you know, like i said before, i don’t like to lie. it does seem very silly to have let this go on for so long. Tim has been a fabrication in the making for over 5 years now, he almost feels real to me.
when i see Faye, i have images of my fake son, looking so handsome in his lab coat as he’s peering into a microscope looking at dust particles from a comet. i see him jogging with his dog on the beach. i see him hiking and biking and climbing. i see him helping an elderly woman with her groceries.
it’s a true testament that if you lie, or let a lie go on for a while, it becomes a solid thing that you have to keep up with.
oddly enough, i don’t lose sleep on this lie. i don’t see her often enough to fib about this on a daily or consistent level. Faye never cared anything about me or my life until she had something to try to one-up me on. SHE is the one losing sleep on account of her Stephen not succeeding quite like my Tim. it’s amazing how this lie has eaten her alive and made me feel proud of something that doesn’t even exist…
eh well.
i’ll be boarding the fake plane to Berkeley this afternoon, to celebrate Easter with my fake son.
Mama’s soooo proud of you, Timmy!

first off, WARNING, MAJOR TAZ SPOILERS. but guys. i gotta point out some o’ the ep 57 highlights ‘cause this was wild. it was wet & it was wild, lads

  • griffin, literally clapping with childlike glee: “i know what he doooes. magnus, edward’s going to make a strength check to rip one of your fucking arms off.”
  • clint won’t stop saying merle is dead. his sons all clamor to explain to him what unconsciousness is. “you know when you go to sleep? at night??”
  • “i’m going to cast… divine wood.” “and you pop the most righteous boner”
  • the moment it became clear we were about to witness explicit umbrella vore in the podcast the adventure zone my fucking heart stopped and i literally had to leave my home and take a walk
  • “how would you like to live forever?” “I’D HATE IT. SHUT THE FUCK UP.”
  • “my day was pretty shit.” “uh, are you a MANNEQUIN? YEAH. maybe, like, keep your shit to yourself if you’re not a MANNEQUIN.”
  • magnus tries to smack a lich with his own severed arm
  • the boys are back where their story began. they sleep in one of their old campsites, and griffin notes that there are “surprisingly well-carved” makeshift chairs. god i teared up
  • magnus came here on a spaceship. we’ve finally gone full scifi
  • okay so the final revelation is fucking wild and i’d just like to appreciate 1. griffin was apparently so excited to finally say those words out loud that his heart was racing. 2. he has now made you-know-who into the most important NPC in the campaign. 3. clint mcelroy is just absolutely cackling for a full two minutes, from the moment he realizes what’s happening to the end of the episode. he’s so proud of his son for his year-long, cheesy fucking dad joke. and honestly so am i
My Dearest Harry,

 

Happy Birthday!!!! I’ve set an alarm for 8:30, and if you haven’t fire-called me by then I’m side alonging Rose over to scold you. Today took some serious planning, dear, and that boyfriend of yours will never forgive me if you show up late. Wear that green top- it brings out your eyes!

 

With love,

 

Hermione Granger-Weasley

 

 

Potter-

 

If you are late this afternoon I will fillet you alive.

 

Birthday Wishes.

 

-Draco (I love you. Wear the green top.)

 

 

Harry,

 

Happy 37th, Mate!!! Do us all a favor and get your old arse out of bed before 2, would you? ‘Mione and Draco have been working together, and you know how they get going. She’s in a right fuss, that one. I had to talk her out of sending you a howler this morning, and that was only by… Distracting her, so to speak. As I’m human and understand human emotions, needs, etc., (unlike our crazy robotic lovers), I’ve sent over a coffee and some chocolate frogs to make the ungodly time a little more bearable.

 

Cheers!

 

Ron

 

P.S. Hermione told me to tell you to wear the green top? I don’t give a flying fuck what you wear as long as you and Malfoy manage to keep the clothes firmly on this time.

 

 

Harry,

 

I had to hold mum down, she wanted to bring you breakfast in bed this morning. As much as she loves you, I’m not sure how she would have felt if she walked in on you having a lovely birthday shag with Malfoy against the coffee table. You’re welcome. See you tonight. And, for Merlin’s sake, try to be on time. In the green shirt, or Malfoy will send you straight back. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

-Ginny P.s. Luna sends her regards and also asked me to tell you that green wards off the hucklefins.

 

 

Harry,

 

I had the strangest dream last night, Harry. I was being chased by a group of wrackspurts, all of them demanding I return their ‘treasure’. I was quite confused by their insistence that I had taken this ‘treasure’ (you know how I feel about stealing, it affects my aura), and I kept spraying lilac essence to ward them off, but to no avail. I asked Ginny if she thought it meant something, but she thinks I may have just had too much to drink last night. What do you think?

 

Oh yes dear, I almost forgot! Happy Birthday! I do hope you know to be on time, but I’ll try to distract him if you run late. I read last night about some very new potions research that could keep him talking for at least an hour.

 

Love you, dear.

 

Luna (Wear green.)

 

 

The boy who continues to live,

 

I’d say congratulations, but you’ve been complimented so many times for merely staying alive that it feels tacky at this point. Draco’s got himself all in knots over tonight’s events, and as much fun as it’s been watching him all flustered, I know that if you manage to screw this up I’ll be the one supplying his alcohol, so I feel I must warn you; If you wish to continue to be the boy who lived, show up on time, and properly dressed, if you can manage. Although, come to think of it, “The boy who fucked up one too many goddamn times” has a ring to it.

 

-Pansy Parkinson

 

 

Harry,

 

You have always been a son to me, dear. I know it goes without saying, but if I learned anything from the war, it’s that telling people what they mean to you is a privilege, and something we should do as often as we can. So, and I don’t mean to be sappy love, I know you have big plans for tonight, but I simply have to tell you how proud I am of the man you have become. Happy Birthday, dear. (I’ve sent over some breakfast, though Ginny suggested maybe I shouldn’t have. Terribly sorry if I’ve interrupted anything. Draco’s favorites are in there too, just in case.)

 

-Molly

 

 

Harry!

 

Happy Birthday, you geezer. The Amazon is great, as promised, if a little hot for my taste. I’m sorry to be missing your evening tonight- there truly isn’t anything for it. They want me back at the University this Thursday, and I’ve got very little besides a sunburn to show for my time out here. Personally, I think they’ve been a little outrageous with the timing; researching Amazonian werewolf roots and ancient cures isn’t exactly a picnic, you know.

 

Enough complaining. How’ve you been? How’s Draco? Have you finally bucked up and popped the question? I assume not; someone would have owled, I’m sure. You really ought to do it soon, Harry. If you don’t, he will, and you know how terribly dramatic he is. Just think on it. Send my love to Grandma, would you? I miss her terribly. Oh, and you can have some too, of course.

 

-Teddy Lupin

 

 

Uncle Harry,

 

I know you aren’t awake yet. You are never awake before noon. Which is why, in approximately 28 minutes, if you don’t firecall mum (which you won’t) to tell her you’re getting ready, (which you aren’t), I’m coming over there myself to talk some sense into you.

 

You do realize how important today is? Happy Birthday. I’ll see you in precisely 27 minutes.

 

-Rose Granger-Weasley Future Minister for Magic

 

 

Uncle Harry,

 

Please be awake when Rose gets to your place, she’s in a scary mood this morning. Happy Birthday, and best of luck, because Mum isn’t much better by the looks of it.

 

-Hugo

 

 

Harry

 

Happy Birthday. I know you are prone to sleeping in, but Draco has been particularly high-strung about this evening and I would really encourage your punctuality this once. I will, unfortunately, be quite busy this evening, but I look forward to seeing you soon. Tea at the manor Wednesday, perhaps? Talk to Draco and get back to me. Oh, and you do look so ever lovely in green. Regards,

 

Narcissa Malfoy
—  Birthday Letters
10

happy 6th anniversary to the girls who brought us amazing music, joy and laughter! we, pandas, are always proud to be fans of angels who are beautiful both inside and outside. six years have passed since your debut, but our love for you still remains unchanged.

thank you for debuting, apink! #AlwaysWithApink

The first thing Bitty does after he gets off the phone with Jack is dial his father’s number. He takes a deep breath, reminds himself that he has something to be proud of, and hits the call button.

Coach answers on the fifth ring. “Eric?”

“Hi, Coach,” Bitty says. “I have something important to tell you.”

His father pauses, then clears his throat. “Of course.”

Bitty can’t keep the huge grin off his face as he says, “I got the captaincy. I’m the captain.”

“Really? Good for you, son. You’ll make a great captain.”

“Thanks,” Bitty replies, then adds, “it was a unanimous vote.”

He knows he’s bragging, but he can’t help it. He needs Coach’s approval.

“Unanimous vote?” Coach repeats, and Bitty can hear his father smiling.

The receiver is muffled and Coach shouts, “Suzanne!”

Bitty listens as Coach tells his mother what Bitty told him.

Suzanne gasps, then says, “Dicky, I am so proud of you! But I’m not surprised.”

“I’m proud of you too, Eric,” Coach says, and that’s the instant Bitty starts to feel the guilt. They might be proud now, but they wouldn’t be if they knew about Jack.

“Thank you,” he says, and then suddenly he has to get off the phone Right Now because his throat is closing up. “Mom, Coach, I have to go. Some friends just came in.”

“Okay,” says Suzanne, “but send us some pictures from the banquet!”

“Sure,” Bitty manages. “Bye, y’all.”

“Bye, Dicky, love you!”

“Bye, Eric.”

He hangs up and just like that, he’s crying. Bitty has every reason in the world to be happy. He has Jack, he has an amazing team, he has the captaincy, but. There’s always a but, it seems like. He knows his parents would love him less if they knew he was gay. Knows it. He wonders if it’s ungrateful to be crying in his room when his team just voted him captain. He wonders why Samwell and everything he has here can’t be enough.


**

In Georgia, Coach hangs up the phone and looks at his wife. Suzanne is frowning, hands on her hips.

“You know,” she says, “when you called my name like that, I thought that was going to be it. That he would finally tell us.”

Coach sighs and sits down with her on the sofa. “I picked up the phone and he said he had something important to tell me. I thought the same thing.”

Suzanne puts her head in her hands and slumps forward. “It’s so hard to wait. I know he must be scared to tell us. But I don’t want to ask him about it, you know? I want him to do it when he feels comfortable.”

Coach puts a hand on her back. “I know, honey. Me too.”

“I just don’t want my baby to suffer,” Suzanne tells him. “God knows he’s done enough of that.”

Coach pulls her closer. “I know,” he repeats. “I know.”

Humans are Wierd Tale

“The planet Txar has been on civil war since long before the Galactic Union discovered their existence. The Txarian sentient species, Ky.rroc are hermaphrodites around two hundred fifty centimeter high and a hundred thirty kilograms heavy. Their skin is even thicker than steel, almost an exoskeleton, and their musculature so strong they are able to carry twice their own weight. The first commandant to ever see one described xe as a kill machine.”

As Commandant Lou’tt spoke about my own species all I could see was fear on the eyes of the various aliens around. By pure luck my ancestors have reached the G.U. before the Kishemern. As soon as the commander called my people kill machines a tiny creature, using a spacesuit, “for safety purposes”,  raised xis hand.

- Human Gabriel, for the hundredth time. - The Commandant spoke with impatience - If you want to ask something, you can just talk. No need to wait to a officer allow you to.

- Right, Lou. - The “human” looked to xir superior - That commandant has ever been on Terra? I mean, do you really call those kill machines?

I looked into the tiny creature eyes. I could see the predator within, although it was hidden behind childish laughter, fake peace and self hatred. The thing the G.U. never found out about the Ky.rroc was how extreme are our predatory senses, barely mind reading.

- How many generations have passed since your kind last seen war, Human? - I saw the crew shaking out of fear again, but the human retributed my look, showing xis teeth, not as sharp as mine, far from threatening, but a clear challenge. - I guess your kind have outcame hunt, halfway mutated into herbivores. How you dare calling the proud Jug.dymak of the Kr.rroc not a killing machine.

- Yrillis-6, Txar is called a Death World by the Union, I’ll give you that. - The human howled that offense - A Class Two Death World. - Xis voice had no fear, xis eyes started glowing with excitement -  I am from Sol-3, Terra the only Class Six Death World that is inhibited.

“I can survive temperatures below freezing, and halfway boiling. Most poison are ineffective against my kind, and many of those that are we use for fun. We are able to mimic any species cries or languages. Humans are know for bonding with any living thing, and many non-living to. You ask how many generations we have since we last saw war? There are some happening right now, using titanium piercing ammo, incendiary cluster bombs, nuclear friction grenades

“And you wonder why ain’t I afraid of the Ky.rroc? My own body is a lethal bioweapon to your species. My breath carries microorganisms that can kill you, not to talk about those that live only inside of me, my fluids are acid to your skin. You may kill me, but my corpse alone can slay one of your cities.”

- I am a proud child of Sol-3, a son of Terra.  - Xis eyes sparkled, predatory, as no being ever was - I was named Gabriel Thanatos, names that symbolize the guardian angel and the death. As my father said, what Humanity are.

I felt then what those crew members did. Fear, an emotion I only knew throughout my prey. I fell for my knees, impotent as I understood why that monster had so much laughter, fake peace and self hatred. Xe was preventing xiself from feeling power hunger, megalomania and bloodlust.

- Always keep a Terran around, Ky.rooc Jug.dymak. - The commandment said as the human walked away to the battlefield, unplugging his suit - After all, they are hard to kill, and harder not to love after a while.

Please feel free to add
The Marauders As Things Me And My Friends Have Said In Biology

Teacher: On the topic of social heirarchies, can anyone explain a ‘pecking order’ to the rest of the class.

Sirius: I got this, Teach.

Sirius: *slaps friend in the face* KNOW YOUR PLACE; AT MY FEET GROVELING LIKE THE WEAK PIECE OF TRASH YOU ARE!

Teacher: Pretty much.

Teacher: James? Can you answer the question?

James: Witchcraft.

Teacher: *sighs* No, James.

Remus: Just leave me on the windowsill to photosynthesise in peace! But, like, don’t forget to water me occasionally. Or rotate my pot so that all of me is getting sufficient sun. And make sure bees pollinate me when I flower…. you know what, Lily can take care of me, I don’t trust you to let my hypothetical plant body die.

Sirius: I am SUPREMELY offended– actually that’s fair.

*when dissecting locusts*

Peter: I can’t do it.

Peter: I’ve given him a name and now I can’t do it.

Peter: Jason Grayson my locust son.

Peter: He was going to be a gymnast.

Peter: He was going to make me proud.

When Bitty returned to the Haus, eyes sore from crying and cheeks aching from smiling, he started at the sight of a familiar car parked outside. 

Wordlessly, he turned to Ransom, who smirked at him. “I’ll hold your plaque,” he said, far too innocently. 

With a small gasp, Bitty shoved the award into Ransom’s hands and darted towards the front door, barreling into the entryway like a man possessed.  He looked around wildly, until he noticed the shadow moving within the kitchen. 

When Bitty poked his head into the room, he did indeed find Jack Zimmermann leaning against the counter, checking his phone. The moment he saw Bitty, Jack straightened up and tucked his phone away, holding his arms outstretched. 

Holding back a childish squeal, Bitty launched himself at Jack, wrapping arms and legs around his boyfriend as tight as he could. Jack laughed and held him up, letting Bitty pepper kisses across the side of his face. 

“I got the C!” Bitty shouted, wiggling a little. “I got the C!” 

“Congrats, bud,” Jack said softly. “Knew you had it in you.”

“Unanimous, Jack,” Bitty said, pressing their foreheads together. “Just like you.” 

“Better than me,” Jack said automatically. “But, yeah. I’m so proud of you.” 

Bitty melted against him, so happy he thought his heart might jump straight ouf of his chest. “Thanks, baby. This is…this is so much. I- I gotta call Mama!” 

Jack laughed harder as Bitty tried to slip from his grasp, just holding him closer. “In a minute, Bits. Just…stop for a minute. Let it all soak in. Be proud of yourself, you’ve come so far.” 

Bitty sighed, half in exasperation, half in contentment, and let Jack set him down on the counter. “I am,” he whispered. “I…I just love everyone so much.”

“And they love you,” Jack said, resting his hands on Bitty’s hips. “More than you’ll ever realize.”

“Look at us,” Bitty said with a goofy grin. “The only two unanimously voted captains of the Samwell hockey team. We could be the start a dynasty.“

Jack barked with laughter, head tilted back, and he shook his head in amusement. “We sure could, Bits. We sure could.” 

Proud of Your Boy - Jason Todd x Batmom

If there’s one thing that Jason regrets about how his life turned out was that he disappointed you. You and Bruce had taken him in when he was just a street rat stealing to survive. Bruce was the closest thing that he had to a father and you, you were a mother to him in every way but blood.

When he died you were absolutely devastated. Jason didn’t like to imagine what it must have been like for you to lose him, your son. When he came back, there were times that he wanted to go to you, to be your son again but he was wild and angry. He lost sight of the person he had been and became someone that no mother could take pride in.

When he came back to Gotham as the Red Hood, Jason knew Bruce must have told you about all that he had done. When he thought about what you must think about what he’s done, shame clenched at his throat.

He wanted to do better for you.

Jason didn’t want to come home after all these years only to have you look at him like your son was still dead. Jason was determined to shape up before he allowed himself to beg for your forgiveness.

Jason had been in Gotham for almost a year working as the Red Hood alongside his brothers when Bruce finally started talking to him again. He could tell by the way Bruce interacted with him that he still had a long way to go though. It would never be the same between Jason and his adoptive parents but he wanted to mend what had been broken.

After a long night of patrol, Dick pulled Jason aside to talk to him while the others had already disappeared.

“You should go see, Mom.” Dick encouraged. “She asks about you all the time. She misses you man.” Dick said. Jason crossed his arms over his chest and trained his gaze to the ground below his feet.

He knew he would have to face you eventually. But he wasn’t sure if he was ready, if you would be ready to come to terms that he wasn’t the little boy you had raised anymore.

“She was devastated when you died, you know? She didn’t speak for two months, Jason. Not a word. You owe it to her to at least let her see you.” Dick continued. When Jason didn’t respond, he huffed and turned away from him. “She’s your mom too. You could at least pretend to care.”

Dick’s words really ate at Jason over the next couple of days. He decided it was was time for him to start making up for all the lost years. He stopped by the manor one day when Bruce was at the office. You were quietly humming to yourself while you were reading in the library. Jason hesitated briefly, wondering if he really had any right to see you. Before he had the chance to leave he cleared his throat to get your attention.

“Hi, Ma.” He said hesitantly. You looked up and stared wide eyed at him.

“Jason.” You said, your voice cracking with emotion.

“I’m sorry, Ma. I’m sorry for everything.” Jason started. There were so many things he wanted to say to you. He almost didn’t know where to start. “I know I’ve been a shitty son and I probably should have told you this a long time ago but I’m trying to be better. I know there’s no good reason you should believe me, not yet at least, and I’m not perfect like Dad or you but I’m trying Ma. I really am. I’m gonna make you proud one day, Ma.” Jason said before staring at the ground.

He had to admit being here with you again made him feel like that small rebellious kid again.  Jason vaguely heard you set your book down and walk over to where he stood awkwardly in the doorway.

“I am proud of you, Jason.” You said tilting his head so that his eyes met yours. Tears spilled over your eyes and your lip quivered slightly against your sad smile. Jason stood up and engulfed you in a tight hug. After all these years he felt different in your arms.

“I love you, Ma.” He whispered, sounding like the poor vulnerable boy that you had taken into your arms so long ago.

The last time Maryse Lightwood had seen her oldest son in the Institute chapel, he was about to martyr himself into a marriage for their family’s political gain, to find again honor that she and her ex-husband tarnished with decisions made out of delusional hate. Looking back on it now, the pride she felt while seeing him in a golden suit and with barely concealed panic buzzing underneath the neat edges of his sleeves makes her sick. It had been wrong, so very wrong. It had been something a good mother should have never done.

But Maryse has learned a lot since then - seeing her children blaze new trails in the sedentary Clave traditions and rules has taught her how to be better, how to apologize and try to redress past grievances.  She is trying to be a better version of herself, both for her allies as well as her own family, speaking apologies and confessions that should have been made long ago.

And here she is again, in the same Institute chapel, at another wedding. 


Keep reading

topaz-rabbit  asked:

You know how Mr Alan Ituriel joked about being Black Hat's dad. Okay, what if that were true, and Mr Ituriel was his dad and raised him since he was a barely sentient eldritch squid baby monster thing. How's that possible if BH is probably really fucking old. Easy Mr Ituriel would be some immortal that one day was like"yep, I'm going to raise this demon. Sounds fun." But he's the most suburban of dads ever, but never tried stifling BH's evil tendencies, he encouraged them even.

(Continued) Like Mr Ituriel has seen his son kill several men, and was just like ‘eh, kids will be kids.’ He is an immortal that gives no fucks. He is one of the few humans BH can say he’s ‘fond’ of (will never say it out loud) The one time he visited his son, because he’s a proud pop pop of his sons success and see how he’s doing because HE NEVER CALLS. So as a slight act of payback, he tells EMBARRASSING stories ‘Remember when your powers started to come in Hattie? You scared yourself silly!’

((I am torn between staying consistent with my personal theories and completely abandoning them for this great hc. So let’s just say I’m gonna be very contradictory with whatever the fuck I post, because oh man Normal Dad Alan Ituriel is a very good idea indeed.))

  • Alan, an immortal demi-human with abnormal morals who lives in the Mexican suburbs, is walking by an alleyway or something when he hears some kind of blood-curdling screech
  • naturally his first instinct is ‘oooh what the fuck is that let’s go find out.’ so he looks in a dumpster, and finds one dead-looking prostitute with some kind of Alien-franchise-esque parasite abomination thing crawling out of her chest cavity. It’s covered in blood, seems to be only made of wriggling black tentacles, and hissing.
  • “Aww, cute! Come on little guy, let’s get you cleaned up.” He kinda scoops him up with a shopping bag; he may be immortal, but fuck touching whatever fluids those are. Alan casually carries his writhing, screaming horrorterror baby home in a yellow plastic bag, and promptly throws it into the tub.
  • (Cue the insane bathtime montage where Alan locks it in the bathroom and sprays it with the showerhead until it’s clean enough to touch. BH tries to “kill” him (his hand) several times. Alan laughs.)
  • Once BH is thoroughly doused, he resembles a drenched eldritch cat, a soggy, angry bundle of wriggling flesh, multiple eyes, and gnashing teeth. He has not stopped trying to bite Alan.
  • Alan grabs him by the “scruff” and he immediately starts fighting back. He puts him in a cage until BH tires himself out from screaming and pounding at the bars. The two just stare at each other for a moment, silently regarding the other.
  • Alan sits in front of it and throws a small piece of raw meat into the cage. BH devours it in seconds. Alan unlocks the cage. BH instantly tries to attack him again. Alan puts him back in the cage. He waits a few minutes for the tantrum to end, then repeats the process.
  • eventually BH realizes he can get more food if he stays still for longer. so he stops fighting back and let’s Alan lure him closer, piece by piece. Eventually Alan has BH practically in his lap, literally eating out of the palm of his hand. With more food in him, he’s calmed down a bit. Alan smiles. Okay, this is pretty cute.
  • Only Alan would find BH eating cute tbh, it’s quite fucking disgusting how much raw meat has been spilled all over the place
  • Eventually BH is sated, becoming sleepy and much more complacent. He bites very, very weakly when Alan picks him up. Alan kind of cradles him like a baby, then pets him like a cat. The tentacles quiver. “Weird.” He thinks that means he likes it? BH falls asleep in Alan’s arms. “Cool.”
  • Fast forward a couple months, when BH exits the “larval stage.” That outer casing of tentacles is basically a cocoon, and BH eats and grows and eats and grows until he goes from small cat-sized to human-toddler sized. Then he stops fucking moving.
  • Alan freaks out thinking that he’s killed his adopted son after poking him with a stick for a day doesn’t do anything. Then, the outer casing splits open. BH re-emerges from his “pupal stage” as a fully-grown juvenile, basically a one-year old child. He looks like a miniature version of his current form, but without the dapper clothes or any teeth, and with two open eyes. Alan literally squeals and hugs him. BH tries to bite him again. Some things never change.
  • From there it’s basically like raising a baby, with a couple more eldritch aspects. BH grows twice as fast as an ordinary human. Alan dresses him in adorable baby clothes, not because he needs them, but because it makes him look “soooooo cuuuuute!!!”
  • BH’s teeth grow in, and Alan has to use metal teething rings when normal plastic doesn’t work. BH’s learns how to walk with Alan holding his hands. BH’s claws grow in and Alan files them down for him so he doesn’t hurt himself.
  • It takes about a month or so for BH to start talking. Normally he makes little eldritch blurbles that would make a human’s bones melt. Alan just repeats normal words that sound vaguely similar. Eventually BH gets the hang of it. (BH always claims that his first word was “evil”, but it’s his and Alan’s closest-kept secret that it was actually “papá”)
  • Black Hat’s powers come in during his “evil puberty.” He wakes up one morning feeling a little odd and… shimmery? It feels like his body isn’t quite there, like he’s almost floating outside of his flesh. Then he looks down, focusing on his arm. It solidifies more, feels less fuzzy. He focuses again, bringing the fuzziness back, and watches as it changes
  • “DAD HOLY FUCK”
  • Alan is kind of nervous as BH demonstrates how he can turn his arm into an actual, functioning snake. He gets even more nervous when BH starts sleep-teleporting. Alan wakes up with BH on the roof, BH in the garden, BH on the floor of his room, and BH a couple streets away. He always manages to find his son though, he just has to hurry before BH wakes up. (The first time Black Hat woke up after a sleep-teleport, he was confused and scared and started ripping dimensional holes trying to get home. Alan found him about a town over, but it had been quite the scare.)
  • Shortly after this, BH’s “edgy” phase started. (“MY NAME IS MR. WUT NOW DAD”) Alan never really tried to talk him out of it, instead just giving him the eldritch version of “The Talk.”
  • “Now I know that lately your body has been going through some… changes, and I know that might be scary. But any, uh, urges you feel are completely natural, and–” “DAD FOR FUCK’S SAKE I KNOW ALREADY, OKAY?? I’ve been murdering people for like, five months now.” “Oh, okay, if you ever need any, protection, or help hiding a body, you know you can always ask–” “GET OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM!

It’s a great relationship they have. BH moves out a couple years later to start his business, and refuses to call Alan (out of pride? probably??) Alan doesn’t let him get away that easily, and each year he makes several unannounced visits. It almost always results in some kind of one-sided yelling match between the angry Black Hat and his cheerful dad, as his horrified employees listen on…

Sons of Lawrence

Summary:  Sons of Anarchy meets Supernatural. In this AU, the Winchesters run the most notorious biker gang in Lawrence. They traffic illegal drugs, weapons, and anything else that makes them money and keeps them on top.
Characters in this chapter: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Mary Winchester, John Winchester, Bobby Singer, Kevin Tran, Jo Harvelle, 
Pairing: Eventual Dean Winchester x Female Reader
Word Count: 2,219
Warnings: Language
Author’s Note: This series isn’t going to be light and fluffy. It will include explicit language, explicit sexual content, casual use of illegal drugs, possible explicit canon typical violence.

Originally posted by troohhippi

Freedom. That’s what it felt like when Dean hopped on his bike, and rode down the streets of Lawrence.  Even the back roads. Especially the back roads. It didn’t matter if he was going 20 or 90. It was the wind that surrounded him, pushed through his hair, up and over his shoulders. It was the fact that as he rode, nothing else mattered. Not John or Bobby grooming him to take over the family business. Not Mary pestering him playfully that it was past time to find a woman. Not Jo pining after him like he was a goddamn football quarterback. Nothing. It was just him and his bike.

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boom, then crash,
the shattering of glass.
i dive to the floor,
busting my ass.

“the hell was that?”
was all that i said.
then i seen the pool of blood,
then i seen my moms was dead.

no emotion in the commotion,
i wasn’t even sad,
even when i learned that the
bullet was meant for my dad.

vietnam made pops crazy,
he was already half - dead.
so why couldn’t that’d be him
that got shot in the head?

all the news that fits the print,
momma’s death went unreported,
not a whiff, word or hint.

“they don’t care about us niggers,”
is how my pops explained it.
but i didn’t know i was a nigger
until my dad proclaimed it.

six months later,
my pops was dead too.
drug - related shots fired,
his skin turned cold blue.

on the news that night
the presidents wife got a
new hair - do.
the news guy said,
“i like it, how about you?”

no word about my pops
in the post or on cbs
why was that, you ask?
take a fucking guess.

and yeah, why is that?
that’s what politicians
should be asking.

but who got time for
questions when you all
skiing up on aspen?

broads get gunshots to
the head and all y'all
serving us is aspirin.

my momma was so lovely
she’d have made your
head spin.

level the playing field
and y'all will see who’ll
really win.

and yeah i got anger,
but i don’t let it take
me down cause my momma
taught me better.

and she holds me up
when i fall down.
rest in peace moms,
don’t worry about your
son.

some day i’ll make you
proud, because yeah,
i am the one.

—  ezekiel figuero (the get down),
zeke’s poem (i am the one).

anonymous asked:

i want the jon and arya to hug real tight when they finally meet and it'll be beautiful and snowy and then he can see needle and he should muss her hair and they'll say "i missed you" together and all smiles and then gendry comes forward too and arya is all o.O omg youre alive and all goofy grins and blushing and "m'lady" and "i;m not a lady" and jon scowling at them because He Can See What's Happening and he's v protective xDD and davos giving knowing looks omg

ok for real we need a replay of this scene with jon and arya

and yes yes yes and hopefully the ‘little sister’ line too bc that’s just the things he thinks most about her

and with arya and gendry i need a replay of THIS scene

and then them arguing-with-undercurrents-of-i-lIKE-YOU which is how they’ve always been lol

as for jon i’m fucking living for that, except jon and gendry are bros now so i don’t think jon would be particularly mad, he’d just be like ‘oh shit this is actually a thing OK RIGHT THEN’

davos tho OH MY GOD davos’ shipper heart would explode

i mean, he’s basically adopted gendry and jon as sons, he loves them, and you can see how proud he is that they’re getting along, and he low(high)key ships jon and dany he can’t help himself … so then when jon and arya reunite he’ll be so happy and proud, then when he realises gendry’s best friend is arya he’ll probably be like MY BOYS ARE FOREVER CONNECTED I AM SO PROUD then he’ll realise it’s ~more~ than friends and we’ll have him grinning and shipping them just like he does with jon and dany and Davos aka DADVOS will be out in full swing

BTS on their Wedding Day

Seokjin: 

  • He would be running around all day making sure everything is perfect. And the boys would definetly be yelling at him to stop because “It’s YOUR big day. Stop, we’ll do it!”
  • Still he is going to continue bickering and complaining about anything and everything.
  • He would start eating the food even before the ceremony starts and he would definetly be eating more because of stress.
  • He tries to sneak into the brides room to take a glance
  • definetly gets caught by namjoon
  • Being prettier than the bride but saying she is prettier
  • Boys putting the veil on his head and calling him The Bride

Suga/Yoongi: 

  • Definetly playing the piano and making the boys sing.
  • He totally made the song just for you
  • His wedding vow is a rap. You can’t avoid it.
  • Excited as hell but acts calm. Still he can’t help but smile all day.
  • Namjoon probably breaks something and Yoongi roasts him at the end of his wedding vow
  • Whispering sweet things in your ear whenever he passes by you
  • You need to drag him for your first dance but he secretly loves it
  • he probably practiced really hard with Jimin and Hoseok

Namjoon/Rapmon:

  • Drops the ring in the middle of the ceremory
  • Breaks the flower vase while trying to pick it up
  • Let’s be honest everyone saw it coming
  • The most excited one for the wedding night (ayeeeeeeee ;) )
  • He would send you so many naughty texts on his bachelor party
  • He would be giggling all day like a children
  • It is the classiest wedding ever
  • It probably has a Black&White theme and fancy champagne
  • He isn’t worried one bit. He knows you are meant for eachother.

J-hope/Hoseok:

  • Tears. Tears everywhere. (He would also cry on on others’ weddings too, let’s be real.)
  • The boys are trying so hard to make him stop crying but he is just too happy
  • He would dedicate a dance to you
  • You bet he worked hard as hell to make it perfect
  • And it’s cute but holy shit it makes your knees weak
  • Because of happiness he somehow shines brighter if that is even possible at this point
  • You didn’t know it was possible to have so many flowers at a wedding
  • He is totally sending you hearts as soon as you start walking towards his at the ceremony

Jimin:

  • creates a choreograohy for the two of you to dance to.
  • Boys needs to calm him down every second because “Holy shit what if she changes her mind?!”
  • Eventually you had to go in and calm him down
  • and he refuses to see you at first because he doesnt want any bad luck on his marriage with you
  • A conversation through the wall
  • Busan accent because he is excited and he thinks it makes him manlier
  • he is not manly, he be very soft. Happiest soft ever.

Taehyung/V:

  • He cant sit still, someone help this child
  • Maknae line ripping their asses off to calm him down but all it takes for Suga to say “Calm down, Tae.” and give him a plush toy.
  • He hugs the plush because he really can’t wait to see you
  • until he sees a child that is
  • proceeds to hug the child
  • “Tae please let the kid go. The ceremony is starting”
  • His legs starts shaking and he is smiling so much his cheeks hurt
  • Jungkook is singing for your first dance and holy shit it’s cute as fuck

Jungkook:

  • Namjin is PROUD.
  • Everybody is  happy-sad because “NAMJOON OUR SON HAS GROWN UP SO FAST”
  • Definetly dedicating you songs
  • He would be shy but act cocky as hell because “I am manly enough.”
  • He is so proud to see you in the wedding dress
  • he cant take his eyes off of you because you are the prettiest thing he laid eyes on
  • he let’s you know that a lot
  • Please tell him you love him becaus ehe is scared shitless of loosing you
  • All Might: I-
  • UA Teachers: We know, you care for and admire young Midoriya. He is the perfect successor to One for All and you're so happy you met him. You're so proud of how he has honored your legacy and adapted the power to his own style. You would lay down your life to protect him from all harm and you think of him as the son you never had.
  • All Might: ...
  • All Might: I was going to say good evening and return home
  • All Might: But yes, I am fond of young Midoriya.