missouri gothic
  • your out-of-state friends laugh when you tell them you live in misery. you laugh too. you have to laugh. it’s a joke. only a joke. you wish you could make them stay away. they laugh it off.
  • “you haven’t been to the city museum?” you ask a friend. “you have to have been to the city museum!” have you been to the city museum? you can’t remember. maybe you went there on a class trip. you must have been. everyone has been to the city museum. everyone. you suddenly remember that your friend is still waiting for you inside the whale.
  • the tv screen goes white. oh no. oh no. black text begins to scroll across the screen. you feel sick. “accept jesus into your heart”, the man says. his voice is familiar. you’ve heard it so many times. who is he? who is he? he runs the church not far from here. but who is he? you’ve seen his face, but you can’t picture it. the black text is running on a loop now, you’re sure of it. “accept jesus. accept god. jesus loves you. jesus loves you. we love you.”
  • everyone has a ghost story. but everyone swears that ghosts don’t exist. which is it? missouri is a ghost story. all our houses are haunted. by the dead, and by those on their way.
  • you just want chick-fil-a. everyone wants chick-fil-a. but it’s sunday. wasn’t it sunday yesterday? you swear it was. but isn’t tomorrow sunday? chick-fil-a is closed on sundays. it’s always closed.
  • you’ve passed 9 churches now. or was it 10? you can’t remember. you don’t want to. everyone is at church. dead eyes stare at you from the windows. 
  • the past week has been nothing but thunderstorms. thunderstorms and tornados. it’s okay. no one you knew was in the path of the tornado. no one ever knows anyone in the path of the tornado. and you love thunderstorms. you love them. you say this through a tight-lipped smile.
  • you will never leave this place. you want to. but no one ever leaves. do they?
  • there are coyotes everywhere. you know this. that’s what they say. those strange howls at night. the missing pets. it’s the coyotes. it has to be.
  • you receive a letter. its address reads “st. louis”. no, that can’t be right. you don’t live in st. louis. you look closer. your zip code is there. but you don’t live in st. louis. you’ve never lived in st. louis. you feel afraid.
  • there are hawks. on every fence post, on every telephone pole, every road sign. they mean nothing, you tell yourself. they’re only hawks.
  • you love going to st. louis bread company. it confuses your out-of-state friends. “do you mean panera?” they ask. no. you don’t. you mean st. louis bread company. they’re different. they have to be.
  • a tornado is coming. you could be in its path. no one would know you. you go to the store. it’s fully stocked- except for bread, milk, and eggs. there is no more bread. there are no more eggs. there is no more milk. why? why is that all we take? what do we subconsciously know is in those three foods that will save us?
  • “what high school did you go to?” that’s the question they always ask. why? you try to remember. you can’t. did you go to high school with them? yes. yes, you must have. didn’t you? you can’t even remember being a teenager.
  • billboards seem to be everywhere. you don’t even recognize what they’re selling anymore. they blend together. 
  • you’ve only been to the arch once. so has everyone you know. you go there once, and then never again. you don’t remember how you got to the top. you hate elevators. you always have. 
  • you look up at the shadow in the sky. your stomach drops. that’s not a shadow. it’s a massive cloud of black birds. they seem to be swarming directly above you. you can’t stop staring. every part of you goes numb. you think you hear someone screaming. is it you?

can you believe that two months ago little Isak was not gay and had recently decided that his life would be better without mentally ill people in it – and now he has a bipolar boyfriend

and it’s not that everything is good but it’s right

this is chanyeol giving an “X” sign to their managers after they told them to end the concert after 3 songs.

The sponsors of K-Friends Concert took all of exo-l’s money and never paid EXO for their performance. EXO had to change at their hotel and perform bare faced. They performed for FREE against SM’s wishes. Now if this isn’t a show of love towards exo-ls, then I don’t know what is.

5

Been a while since I did something based on a vine. And since I got better from a sudden headache (and maybe fever), might as well draw something from that vine I saw recently. 

But there’s school tomorrow, plus I’m lazy, so I apologize if it’s rather short right now. XDDD

Let me just say, I sincerely hope this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship- AND that we get to see the side of Pearl we never had a chance to see before. 

You never saw me in action! Breaking every rule, taking on the authorities so I could indulge in the joys of life on Earth!

And think about it, we haven’t really seen her in action. At least not without the context of being a maternal figure to Steven. We’re talking about the Terrifying Renegade Pearl, beyond the impressive abilities we’ve already seen. The Pearl who had the courage to not only learn how to use a sword, but actually use it to fight for her freedom. The Pearl who took a stand. The Pearl who proudly declared that she belonged to no one. 

Looking at her day to day life now, it’s almost easy to forget. Almost. But Pearl hasn’t. 


Instead we drove to loud music, chased a mysterious woman into the night, and broke the law. I’ve lost my edge. I should have stayed home with the puzzle.

What are all of these things to someone with her history? She had one goal: Mingle with the humans in their strange human way. Wear the pants, drink the juice, bump into them without hurting them. To be COOL. And if we know anything about Pearl, it’s that she always has a plan. Even when she says she doesn’t. So when things don’t go according to plan, it bothers her. A lot. And despite her rebel spirit, at the end of the day she just wants to be liked by the people she cares about. She doesn’t just want to be cool, she needs to be cool.

The thing about Pearl? She’s cool by virtue of just being herself.  And sometimes she even realizes it. After all:

I’ve been a criminal for 6,000 years. 

She’s still got that rebel spirit whether she realizes it or not. And when she realizes it? Nothing can stop her. She wants Mystery Girl? 

She gets Mystery Girl. And how does she get Mystery Girl?


I asked her about her hair, and then she asked how I colored mine, I told her my appearance is just a conscious manifestation of light. And she said ‘I know how that is’. Although, I highly doubt it. Oh! And then I added ‘By the way I saved your planet and your species and you’re welcome.’

By being her adorably nerdy self. Which IS cool. This is the Pearl that is starting to come into her own in her new life without Rose Quartz. The Pearl that is starting to achieve everything Rose ever wanted for her but never could while she was so devoted to her. The Pearl that is finally and truly being forced to become to own Gem. 

Don’t get me wrong, Pearl clearly has a type. But this Mystery Woman is NOT Rose. She has no expectations, no preconceived notions of what a Pearl ‘should’ be. She was just some cute girl with cute hair who went on about being a conscious manifestation of light and maybe she’s an alien? Either way she’s someone she wants to talk to again. 

It’s pretty safe to say that previous chapter of her life IS over. It shaped her, it made her everything she was until now, but starting tonight, she’s moving on. She may have lost Rose 14 years ago, but tonight marked the end of an era. Before tonight she never would have dared to have acted the way she did. With a HUMAN no less. And in the end, what got her what she wanted? By plucking up the courage to be fearlessly herself. 

I think we’re about to learn a LOT about Pearl, and see her grow more than we ever thought possible. And I sincerely look forward to it.

3

Okay but guys. Look at what my son wrote for his school project. The husband asked if there was anything he wanted to ask her. I did not suggest it. I was thinking it, but I did not say a word. The Scorbus is strong with this child.

THIS IS THE FIRST MARCHING BAND MY SPORTS FOCUSED SCHOOL HAS IN ANYONES MEMORY. THIS, AT ALMOST THIRTY, IS THE LARGEST WE’VE EVER BEEN. I AM SO PROUD OF THESE GUYS, WE’RE GOING FAR MY FRIENDS. I LOVE YOU ALL