i am so overwhelmingly happy for her she means the world to me

46 Of The Most Beautiful Sentences In YA Literature

1. “You could rattle the stars. You could do anything, if you only dared. And deep down, you know it too, and that’s what scares you the most.”
—Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

2. “Because sometimes chance and circumstance can seem like the most appalling injustice, but we just have to adapt. That’s all we can do.”
—Gavin Extence, The Universe Versus Alex Woods

3. “I can’t seem to be a pessimist long enough to overlook the possibility of things being overwhelmingly good.”
—John Corey Whaley, Where Things Come Back

4. “Books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh and cry and find meaning in life.”
―Christopher Paolini, Eragon

5. “Because Margo knows the secret of leaving, the secret I have only just now learned; leaving feels good and pure only when you leave something important, something that mattered to you. Pulling life out by the roots. But you can’t do that until your life has grown roots.”
—John Green, Paper Towns

6. “Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”
―J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

7. “I’m done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.”
—Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story

8. “Becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”
—Veronica Roth, Divergent

9. “The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”
—Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

10. “Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”
—Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park

11. “Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.”
—Natalie Babbit, Tuck Everlasting

12. “Just because we’ve been … dealt a certain hand … it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above — to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted.”
—Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

13. “Some walks you have to take alone.”
—Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

14. “That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.”
—John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

15. “We believe in the wrong things. That’s what frustrates me the most. Not the lack of belief, but the belief in the wrong things. You want meaning? Well, the meanings are out there. We’re just so damn good at reading them wrong.”
—Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares

16. “Why would you be given wings if you weren’t meant to fly?”
—Leslye Walton, The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender

17. “Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.”
—Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

18. “It’s just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It’s the universe’s way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It’s how life is.”
—Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

19. “The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind.”
—Ava Dellaira, Love Letters to the Dead

20. “I try to think about how it all works. At school dances, I sit in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to ‘their song.’ In the hallways, I see the girls wearing the guys’ jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.”
—Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

21. “Things were rough all over but it was better that way. That way, you could tell the other guy was human too.”
—S.E. Hinton, The Outsiders

22. “What if evil doesn’t really exist? What if evil is something dreamed up by man, and there is nothing to struggle against except our own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices?”
—Libba Bray, Rebel Angels

23. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

24. “It’s like the people who believe they’ll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn’t work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. If you see what I mean.”
—Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

25. “I can tell you that the end of a life is the sum of the love that was lived in it, that whatever you think you have sworn, being here at the end of Jem’s life is not what is important. It was being here for every other moment.”
—Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess

26. “Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet: You’re given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself.”
—Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle In Time

27. “Maybe who we are isn’t so much about what we do, but rather what we’re capable of when we least expect it”
—Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

28. “People never really died. They only went on to a better place, to wait a while for their loved ones to join them. And then once more they went back to the world, in the same way they had arrived the first time around.”
―V.C. Andrews, Flowers in the Attic

29. “Goodbye, I say, goodbye, as I disappear little by little into the middle of the middle of my own spectacular now.”
—Tim Tharp, The Spectacular Now

30. “But if I’m it, the last of my kind, the last page of human history, like hell I’m going to let the story end this way…Because if I am the last one, then I am humanity. And if this is humanity’s last war, then I am the battlefield.”
—Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

31. “The words were on their way, and when they arrived, she would hold them in her hands like clouds, and she would ring them out like the rain.”
—Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

32. “Child, no one is ever ready for anything. I would never doom you to that. What sort of adventureless life would that be?”
—Alethea Kontis, Enchanted

33. “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
—John Steinbeck, East of Eden

34. “Maybe some people are just meant to be in the same story.”
―Jandy Nelson, I’ll Give You the Sun

35. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.”
—David Levithan, Every Day

36. “Doubt everything at least once. What you decide to keep, you’ll be able to be confident of. And what you decide to ditch, you will replace with what your instincts tell you is true.”
―Amy Plum, After the End

37. “Just as a river by night shines with the reflected light of the moon, so too do you shine with the light of your family, your people, and your God. So you are never far from home, never alone, wherever you go.”
—Karen Cushman, Catherine Called Birdy

38. “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”
—John Green, Looking for Alaska

39. “There’s no shame in fear, my father told me, what matters is how we face it.”
—George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

40. “I know that the whole point—the only point—is to find the things that matter, and hold on to them, and fight for them, and refuse to let them go.”
—Lauren Oliver, Delirium

41. “We feel cold, but we don’t mind it, because we will not come to harm. And if we wrapped up against the cold, we wouldn’t feel other things, like the bright tingle of the stars, or the music of the aurora, or best of all the silky feeling of moonlight on our skin. It’s worth being cold for that.”
—Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass

42. “It’s a lot easier to be lost than found. It’s the reason we’re always searching and rarely discovered—so many locks not enough keys.”
―Sarah Dessen, Lock and Key

43. “On that cold night in January it all slipped into place for me and she became my everything and my everyone. My music, my sun, my words, my logic, my confusion, my flaw.”
—Julie Murphy, Side Effects May Vary

44. “Hope? Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”
—Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke and Bone

45. “[She] had always suffered from a vague restlessness, a longing for adventure that she told herself severely was the result of reading too many novels when she was a small child.”
—Robin McKinley, The Blue Sword

46. “Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels, but old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

Hi! I’m in the mood for something angsty. So may I have a scenario with Toshinori Yagi and his fem!s/o with a happy ending based on this prompt - “

  • You become a writer and your series of novels become extremely popular, but what they don’t know is that you’re retelling your previous life where certain circumstances made it so you and your soulmate did not end up together but your soulmate promises to be with you the next lifetime. At a book signing you open the book cover of a fan’s copy to see something written on the front page: “I’m sorry I took so long.” 

Thank you <3

Sorry I had to send this through the submit box. The prompt was super long XD

For @todorokishochan!

This, uh… This got away from me. This is so much longer than it was supposed to be, but I honestly love this prompt. Hope you like it!

Italic parts are excerpts from the books (your past life) you wrote in this scenario!


The worst part about these signings had to be faking a smile the whole time. After this many books and this many meet-and-greets, you had all your cute and clever responses memorized. No question surprised you after years of doing this. It was the same repetitive conversation in same shabbily decorated book shops in the same small towns with the same hopeful, lovesick readers you had always had. Maybe you were cynical, but how could you not be? The books they fed on so greedily weren’t fiction- they were a reminder of your own loss. The soulmate you had known yet had to have.

Every day you searched online for others who remembered past lives with their soulmates, but you had yet to find a single other person. It seemed, for some reason, you had been cursed with knowing exactly what you had lost in your old life and had to know it alone.

When the men came to work on the west wing of the house, I made sure to keep mostly to my room. Mother had chastised me for trying to sneak a glance at the strangers as they began filtering in. She warned me that these men were ill-mannered, boorish, and undeserving of my time and attention. Considering their low status, it would be unbecoming for me to even speak to one of them. I did not believe a word of what she said, but I knew better than to fight against her.

It was an act of fate then, the day I ran into him. Even though I was taught to keep my eyes averted at all times, I couldn’t help but glance up at his face and the rest of the world just fell away. Mother’s prejudices were the last things on my mind when I looked into his blue, blue eyes and beheld his beautiful smile for the first time. I had finally found my soul mate, Toshinori Yagi.

“Where do you get your inspiration? Your site doesn’t say anything about you having a soulmate, but you write about it so… I mean, it feels so real!”

The first person to ask a question is very young and a bit too blunt for your taste, but you had also heard this question plenty of times before. Your publishing company had chosen to use that as a gimmick years ago- “the woman who has never loved or been loved, yet writes as if love itself is her lover!” You give her a regurgitated response about how you think about all the loving mated couples you had ever met and how they were your inspiration.

Except no one else could ever inspire you like he did. Like he still does. You had loved more than anyone else ever had.

We knew it was an awful idea, but we continued meeting in secret whenever we got the chance. My parents had to come around eventually- a soulmate is a soulmate. I would never belong to anyone else but him.

“My love…” He murmurs, pressing the back of my hand against his face. Long blonde strands brush my knuckles and I can’t help but shiver at the sensation. He’s so overwhelmingly beautiful as he gazes at me with pure adoration in those blue, blue eyes, and for a moment I am overcome with emotion. I don’t have to say a word- he’s already there, pulling me into an embrace that is everything but appropriate and whispering sweet words that float through the air like petals in the wind.

This is where I belong. Right here, with this man, drowning in his love for the rest of eternity…

“Why did you choose the ending you did?” This fan is older, with a slightly annoyed expression. “It’s so sad… I feel like no one would actually keep soulmates apart like that.”

You can’t help the deep intake of air, even though you’ve heard this before too. People need the happy ending, no matter what.

“Actually, it wasn’t uncommon for soulmates to be ignored if the girl’s parents found a more fitting suitor.” You somehow manage to keep most of the bitterness out of your voice.

“Please don’t do this father…” My tears had long since dried up. All that remained was a dry, empty desperation that bled through my words.

“It’s already done child. It is time to stop this game.” He turned to the love of my life, who was covered in bruises and barely had the strength to stand up on his own anymore. His blue, blue eyes were swollen shut and hidden away from me. “Leave and do not come back. This is done. You’ve disgraced my daughter enough.”

I cried out as my father’s friends dragged him out. He managed a single hoarse cry of my name before one of the men kicked him in the stomach. I felt the bile rise to my throat as I looked up at father and saw the lack of hope or love or regret. My soul had been sold by this devil, and not to its proper partner.

“What’s your name?” You smiled up at the young boy before you. He looked no older than fifteen, and seemed incredibly embarrassed to be getting your signature.

“Izuku…” He practically mumbled, and you chuckled quietly before writing him a little note. You added a heart to hopefully soothe his nerves, but that seemed to just worsen his blush.

He thanked you several times and went to walk away, but turned back the last second.

“You’re gonna find your soulmate, you know!” You blinked up at him, surprised by his little outburst.

“You’ll find him, and fall in love, because anybody who writes like this deserves it!” He stares at you intensely for a moment before seeming to remember himself, practically falling over as he runs away. Staring after him, you can’t help but compare his attitude to Toshinori’s. They would get along beautifully…

The fever took me quickly. My new husband- oh, how I hate the word - had called many doctors but no one had been able to help. We both knew the end was coming, and fast. Word traveled fast around the town and just like that, Toshi was back for me.

“I need to see her.”

“No, you need to leave.”

I could barely hear their voices through the thick fog invading my mind. I wanted to cry out to him, beg for my husband to let him in, but I had no strength left in me to give.

Suddenly, I hear a yell and a few loud clatters that echo through the house before the door to my chambers is thrown open and shut again. Then his hands are on me, cupping my face and brushing away my hair, holding me just as desperately as he did that night we stowed away in the abandoned wagon.

“Please no, no no… I can’t lose you.” I can feel his tears dripping onto my cheeks, and I’m so happy and devastated when I manage to open my eyes just a fraction. I can see those blue, blue eyes once more- the same lovely shade as a cloudless summer day and just as clear. I know in my heart that this will be the last time I see them, and he must know it as well as he moves to my side to pull my limp form close to his body.

“I’ll fix this, you hear me? We’ll meet again next time, somehow, and nothing will be able to keep me from you, my love.”

My last smile belongs to him, because I believed him with all my heart and soul.

The signing is thankfully almost over, just one person left in your line. They’re tall, with a hood covering most of their face and a very worn out copy of your book in their hands. Their long fingers brush yours when he hands it to you, and you can’t help but tense up at the shock it sends up your spine.

“What’s your name?” Robotically, you flip it open to the first page and move to sign your name, but a small note stops you in your tracks. It’s written in familiar chicken scratch, slightly smeared as if the writer had been crying at the time.

I’m sorry I took so long, my love.

And when you look up, disbelieving because there’s just no way- you’re staring into blue, blue eyes as he removes his hood. You can’t help but stare at him and drink him in.

“I…” You can’t get a word out as tears begin to well up in your eyes. He whispers your name and tries to smile but then he’s crying too.

“I told you I’d fix it. I told you we would be together.”

And with that you’re choking on your sobs and scrambling over the table to launch yourself at him. Yanking you forward, Toshinori pulls you into him and bends down to press his lips against yours, lips that fit just perfectly over yours because this is meant to be.

Pressing your forehead against his, you stare into his eyes as you breathe each other in. Your hands come up to stroke his jaw- he seems so thin this time around- and you press a kiss against his nose.

“Is this real?” The question slips out before you can help it. As always, he knows what you need before you do. Taking your hand, he presses it against his chest so you can feel his heart beating. The same heart beat that had lulled you to sleep so many times before, long ago.

“It’s real, my love. And I promise we’ll never be apart again.”

Buzzfeed’s 46 Of The Most Beautiful Sentences In YA Literature

1. “You could rattle the stars. You could do anything, if you only dared. And deep down, you know it too, and that’s what scares you the most.”
—Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

2. “Because sometimes chance and circumstance can seem like the most appalling injustice, but we just have to adapt. That’s all we can do.”
—Gavin Extence, The Universe Versus Alex Woods

3. “I can’t seem to be a pessimist long enough to overlook the possibility of things being overwhelmingly good.”
—John Corey Whaley, Where Things Come Back

4. “Books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh and cry and find meaning in life.”
―Christopher Paolini, Eragon

5. “Because Margo knows the secret of leaving, the secret I have only just now learned; leaving feels good and pure only when you leave something important, something that mattered to you. Pulling life out by the roots. But you can’t do that until your life has grown roots.”
—John Green, Paper Towns

6. “Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”
―J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

7. “I’m done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.”
—Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story

8. “Becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”
—Veronica Roth, Divergent

9. “The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”
—Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

10. “Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”
—Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park

11. “Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.”
—Natalie Babbit, Tuck Everlasting

12. “Just because we’ve been … dealt a certain hand … it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above — to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted.”
—Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

13. “Some walks you have to take alone.”
—Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

14. “That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.”
—John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

15. “We believe in the wrong things. That’s what frustrates me the most. Not the lack of belief, but the belief in the wrong things. You want meaning? Well, the meanings are out there. We’re just so damn good at reading them wrong.”
—Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares

16. “Why would you be given wings if you weren’t meant to fly?”
—Leslye Walton, The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender

17. “Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.”
—Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

18. “It’s just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It’s the universe’s way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It’s how life is.”
—Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

19. “The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind.”
—Ava Dellaira, Love Letters to the Dead

20. “I try to think about how it all works. At school dances, I sit in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to ‘their song.’ In the hallways, I see the girls wearing the guys’ jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.”
—Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

21. “Things were rough all over but it was better that way. That way, you could tell the other guy was human too.”
—S.E. Hinton, The Outsiders

22. “What if evil doesn’t really exist? What if evil is something dreamed up by man, and there is nothing to struggle against except our own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices?”
—Libba Bray, Rebel Angels

23. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

24. “It’s like the people who believe they’ll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn’t work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. If you see what I mean.”
—Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

25. “I can tell you that the end of a life is the sum of the love that was lived in it, that whatever you think you have sworn, being here at the end of Jem’s life is not what is important. It was being here for every other moment.”
—Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess

26. “Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet: You’re given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself.”
—Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle In Time

27. “Maybe who we are isn’t so much about what we do, but rather what we’re capable of when we least expect it”
—Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

28. “People never really died. They only went on to a better place, to wait a while for their loved ones to join them. And then once more they went back to the world, in the same way they had arrived the first time around.”
―V.C. Andrews, Flowers in the Attic

29. “Goodbye, I say, goodbye, as I disappear little by little into the middle of the middle of my own spectacular now.”
—Tim Tharp, The Spectacular Now

30. “But if I’m it, the last of my kind, the last page of human history, like hell I’m going to let the story end this way…Because if I am the last one, then I am humanity. And if this is humanity’s last war, then I am the battlefield.”
—Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

31. “The words were on their way, and when they arrived, she would hold them in her hands like clouds, and she would ring them out like the rain.”
—Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

32. “Child, no one is ever ready for anything. I would never doom you to that. What sort of adventureless life would that be?”
—Alethea Kontis, Enchanted

33. “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
—John Steinbeck, East of Eden

34. “Maybe some people are just meant to be in the same story.”
―Jandy Nelson, I’ll Give You the Sun

35. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.”
—David Levithan, Every Day

36. “Doubt everything at least once. What you decide to keep, you’ll be able to be confident of. And what you decide to ditch, you will replace with what your instincts tell you is true.”
―Amy Plum, After the End

37. “Just as a river by night shines with the reflected light of the moon, so too do you shine with the light of your family, your people, and your God. So you are never far from home, never alone, wherever you go.”
—Karen Cushman, Catherine Called Birdy

38. “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”
—John Green, Looking for Alaska

39. “There’s no shame in fear, my father told me, what matters is how we face it.”
—George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

40. “I know that the whole point—the only point—is to find the things that matter, and hold on to them, and fight for them, and refuse to let them go.”
—Lauren Oliver, Delirium

41. “We feel cold, but we don’t mind it, because we will not come to harm. And if we wrapped up against the cold, we wouldn’t feel other things, like the bright tingle of the stars, or the music of the aurora, or best of all the silky feeling of moonlight on our skin. It’s worth being cold for that.”
—Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass

42. “It’s a lot easier to be lost than found. It’s the reason we’re always searching and rarely discovered—so many locks not enough keys.”
―Sarah Dessen, Lock and Key

43. “On that cold night in January it all slipped into place for me and she became my everything and my everyone. My music, my sun, my words, my logic, my confusion, my flaw.”
—Julie Murphy, Side Effects May Vary

44. “Hope? Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”
—Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke and Bone

45. “[She] had always suffered from a vague restlessness, a longing for adventure that she told herself severely was the result of reading too many novels when she was a small child.”
—Robin McKinley, The Blue Sword

46. “Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels, but old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Her Instinct - Chapter 16

Chapter 16 -  Savage

This chapter was inspired by the song “We Should Be Together” by Pia Mia. Feel free to listen as you read!

I woke up in a daze, starring at wall of my room, completely spent from the total workout, or should I say workouts we had last night. I felt Mr. Leto’s arm wrapped around me, entrapping me in his grasp. I stroked it absentmindedly, inhaling the sweet morning air as memories from last night flooded my mind. This was pure bliss.

“Morning, Kerri.” His voice in the stillness of the morning almost made me jump. I was surprised he was up.

“Good morning” I nearly croaked out as I turned.

He was wide-awake; his is blue eyes gazed into mine dreamily. He leaned in and kissed my forehead as his hand grazed up and down my side. He slowly kissed down my face to my cheek and jaw.

“Tell me something Kerri.” His voice was so soft I had to really focus to pay attention. “Why do you waste your time with Derek, when you have this” he plays with my hand and pulls it to his chest. “You certainly don’t do this with him. So what’s the point?”

I stared in bewilderment at Mr. Leto. After all we’ve done and he brings up Derek? I completely forgot he existed.

Was this a joke?

He stared back at me, waiting intently for my response.

Apparently it wasn’t.

Keep reading

Interview: Eldervine

Today we’re joined by Eldervine. Eldervine is a phenomenal visual artist who enjoys experimenting with different mediums and styles. She is mostly a realistic illustrator, but occasionally dabbles in impressionism and surrealism. Eldervine does both traditional and digital art. She does sculpture/3D modelling and is currently studying game art/design. She’s a passionate artist and obviously has a very bright future. My thanks to her for taking the time to participate in this interview.

WORK

Please, tell us about your art.

I’ve been drawing pretty much my entire life- I can’t remember when I started but (looking back) by the time I started school I was pretty well practiced for a 5/6 year old. Since then I’ve dabbled in almost every art form; painting (and then digital painting) was my staple for a long time but I’m pushing myself to sculpt more now.

In style I consider myself a realistic illustrator, even though I slide into impressionism and/or surrealism a bit.

What inspires you?

I’m an unashamed lover of beauty whether it’s found in pleasing shapes, rich colours or lush textures. Animals are the best source for me, particularly horses- they’re made of such beautiful shapes (loads of sine curves) and textures and I was totally that girl at school that always drew horses haha

My first degree ended up being in biological anthropology though (through a weird slide from the art school into the humanities, into the sciences), and that did get me interested in how humans work- that and working at my city art gallery made me more appreciative of human (and cultural) beauty. And it seems weird to me but playing The Sims 3 inspired an appreciation for architecture and landscape. The greatest artistic urge I get remains equine though, so I guess it’s true that old habits die hard.

What got you interested in your field?  Have you always wanted to be an artist?

Phew, it’s a bit of a twisty ride!

My obsession with horses lead me into playing a ton of the online text-based horse sim games that abounded during the 90s/2000s; they were good because they were targeted just at people that like horses, unlike the modern ones which also have a clear intended age bracket. Those games all eventually died so I found myself joining a forum that used The Sims 3 (in modded form) as a horse game, with picture shows and breed registries etc. hosted on the forum. That then led me into the world of computer game modding, and I found I really enjoyed retexturing things and became interested in learning how to 3D model.

So starting from last year I’m studying game design/game art, and I think it’s the best career idea I’ve had so far! I previously didn’t think I could make a living doing art, but games is a growing industry with heaps of demand for artists. I’ve also found that games is a field that allows me to apply the biggest selection of my broad interests and skills (I’ve found my anthropology surprisingly relevant too), and offers specialist and generalist opportunities in equal amounts so I’ll be able to try a lot of different jobs and/or specialize in whatever I end up liking the most.

Do you have any kind of special or unique signature, symbol, or feature you include in your work that you’d be willing to reveal?

I don’t know about a unique thing (apart from a signature obvs). I’m guilty of the ol’ scratchy sketching that my new teachers (all animators) hate and are trying to beat out of me haha, but I don’t like leaving much lineart in my coloured stuff anyway. I think I certainly have a style which is very different to what everyone else in my class does- mainly, I think, because my artistic influences come from fine art whereas most of them grew up on comics.

What advice would you give young aspiring artists?

Stop worrying about having a style, it will happen naturally over the course of your life and if you try and force it you’ll just end up limiting yourself as an artist.

Learn the fundamentals of colour, light and anatomy (yes, I mean realism) BEFORE you start stylizing. If you do it the other way around you’re locking yourself in to only being able to do that style, and often not as well. Anime/manga artists are prone to this; the good ones did heaps of life drawing before translating into the style, whereas you can tell the ones that started out in the style because they do some real janky stuff with anatomy and perspective, and it just doesn’t look as good even when considering style.

Also, be intelligent with your art; always ask yourself why you’re doing something or why something looks good to you. It helps you learn about yourself as well as your craft.

ASEXUALITY

Where on the spectrum do you identify?

I knew I was asexual when I was 12, and I’m now 100% again, but there were bumpy bits at 22 and 25 where I thought I could be demisexual (thinking back and being brutally honest with myself, the first boyfriend I wasn’t interested in at all and the second one I thought I had found someone who I could be happy with, but they didn’t seem to get what I said about my sexuality and so I just tried my best to be into him sexually too. Spoilers: didn’t last long with either of them).

As far as the romantic scale is concerned, I have no idea. I do overwhelmingly connect better with women than (heterosexual) men, but I honestly don’t know what exactly the difference is between a close friendship and a platonic romantic one. Because I seem to be missing something, my current guess is that I’m aromantic as well. xD

Have you encountered any kind of ace prejudice or ignorance in your field?  If so, how do you handle it?

I’ve only mentioned asexuality to a few friends so far in the games field, so I’m going to answer from all the fields I’ve dabbled in.

I am conventionally attractive, and my body developed early- my breasts were already fully developed and large at 12. Both things I have had people try to use as evidence that I cannot possibly be asexual, despite my pointing out that what feelings they get from my body are the results of their sexuality. (That and breasts are not actually sexual organs, they’re just sexualized in many cultures).

Apart from that, whenever I do mention it (which isn’t often) people tend to go “uh” and then gloss over it, clearly not understanding/not believing but not wanting to make more of a deal out of it. Which is fine by me actually, except I’m pretty sure my parents still have their fingers in their ears (some crossed) and are looking the other way as well. (I’ve definitely heard the “you just haven’t found the right person yet” line).

What’s the most common misconception about asexuality that you’ve encountered?

Apart from the binary fission joke (which every asexual gets I think) and the one where people get their sexuality mixed up with yours, that asexuality is due to trauma.

I did actually have panic attacks – with my first boyfriend, the first week after we became official I couldn’t eat anything or I’d throw it up. Doctor gave me meds to calm the acid in my stomach and then I was fine. With the second boyfriend I woke up one day in abdominal agony, shaking and sweating (making it rain, but not in a good way!) but as soon as he called the paramedic hotline and I was talking and joking to the lady on the line I was better- when doctors later examined me they found absolutely nothing wrong. I had another exactly a week after (and I still feel awful about this one) where we had finished making out for a bit and he went to start on lunch (or something, can’t remember) and he came back to ask me something, and as he sat down next to me/leaned over me I suddenly felt so ill, had to bolt to the bathroom- didn’t quite make it- and was ridiculously, violently sick everywhere.

It was at this point that my mother helped me set up 6 months of therapy with a well-reputed sex therapist. xD Who was actually really lovely, and I enjoyed those sessions with her! It was really nice to have talks about sex that weren’t charged with expectations, with someone who was relaxed and had actually studied sexual health, critiques of sex ed, etc. She didn’t believe though that anyone with any hint of sexual need was asexual (and I did say that I was fine to have sex with myself occasionally) so I didn’t really get the benefit of that discussion. She also thought that my aversion to men (as she saw it- honestly I think guys being the only issue was because no lesbians ever hit on me haha) was due to my developing early and being sexualized by others before my mind was caught up. That boys would pretend to be friends with me because I had the big boobs, she said, lead to me linking sexual desire with dishonesty and so I distrusted it. Now, I still think it’s a really interesting idea and I do wonder if my sexuality would’ve expressed any differently if a)I got boobs later and b)if the world/how we raise boys was different. It’s been a long while now though and I’ve continued thinking about it and reflecting on myself, and while I do think I am put off a lot by how the world at large treats sex and sexuality (and women), I think 13 year old boys being self-centered pricks triggering asexuality for the rest of my life is giving them rather a lot of credit!

What advice would you give to any asexual individuals out there who might be struggling with their orientation?

I used to get so stressed when I was a teenager because I was taking on everyone’s expectations about me and my future, and felt that a relationship and sex was just going to happen to me and I had no control over anything. Don’t stress- I can’t talk for everyone, everywhere in the world or in every situation, but at least in my case, the only thing that was keeping me from feeling secure and in control was me thinking that I wasn’t. Hopefully, this can serve as a reminder for someone else in a similar situation. You don’t have to do shit if you don’t want to. If you’re not in a similar situation, don’t be scared to go looking for help to get that control. It exists.

Having said that, don’t be scared to revisit what you think and try working yourself out all over again- you are what you are, and labels are tools that we can use to try and make more sense of ourselves, for us and for others, but remember that they are tools crafted from an imperfect world and they are clumsy.

Finally, where can people find out more about your work?

My Tumblr that I set up to share my game art/schoolwork is eldervine.tumblr.com (you can also find my Twitter through there, which I use to post arty stuff, game stuff, school stuff, news stuff and feminist rants haha)

If you’re interested in seeing the Sims 3 horse art I did when I was a part of Equus-Sims, you can have a look at eldervinefields.tumblr.com (it’s sadly not active anymore but all my stuff, including mods, is still there).

Thank you, Eldervine, for participating in this interview and this project. It’s very much appreciated.

بيغي يجد رفيقها (Peggy Finds her Soulmate)

Y’ALL I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER I’VE BEEN SUPER PREOCCUPIED WITH REWRITING MTB

but it’s finally here - the story of Peggy and her soulmate (or… part of it :D) in the Meant to Be universe. just fyi, it takes place like a month after chapter 19 of mtb.

w/c: 2953

a huge shout-out to @limpblotter for beta-ing <3

MAKE SURE TO READ -THIS- FIRST…. enjoy :D


“Hello.”

Marhabaan,” Peggy said confidently.

“My name is.”

Aismi.”

“Good,” Angelica smiled. “We got through the first page!”

Peggy grinned, clapping her hands together excitedly. “How’s my pronunciation?”

“How would I know?” Angelica shrugged, flipping to the next comically small page in the pocket-sized “Learn Arabic” book and furrowing her brow.

Keep reading

Holiday Karma Pie

I paid for someone’s groceries today.

I didn’t do it for the karma. I didn’t even do it for the charity. I did it because the lady in front of me was having technical issues, and the less-than-$30 bill was worth sparing my sanity and getting out of that line. I played it off as a Christmas thing, asked the lady to pay it forward, and assured her that, yes, I was serious when I said it was no big deal. It wasn’t. I was happy to pay to get out of there.

I have a habit of picking the worst grocery lines. I thought, for a while, it was just this new place I’m in, but then I went home for Thanksgiving and went through 20 minutes of hell waiting for the family in front of me to finish arguing with the cashier about the $20 in savings they weren’t getting because their coupons weren’t scanning, or whatever other nonsense was preventing them from scanning an entire conveyor belt full of items, $200 and two carts into the bill. We moved to another line, finally, when one seemed available nearby. When we left with our own hefty bill in the cart, they were still there, slowly scanning the rest of their items.

I am also the person who will pick up the one item out of 100 without a bar code, and take three of them to the checkout lane.

It’s funny, this idea that you can buy karma with good deeds, as if your motivations don’t count. I’ve seen The Good Place. I know better than that. My motivation today was entirely self-serving, as is most charity in this country. We overwhelmingly donate our time or our money because it makes us feel better about ourselves, not because we genuinely care about giving. We’re scared into doing the “right thing” by a book that has been mistranslated and misinterpreted for centuries, and somehow have this warped idea that doing the right thing will buy us grace. Good Karma. A spot in heaven. Optimal reincarnation. At the end, there’s always something in it for us.

I’m no better than others in that regard. I do good deeds infrequently, and when I do, it’s almost always born of convenience. “Would you like to pay an extra 63 cents to round up your bill and donate to the Children’s hospital?” Sure. “Would you like to donate a dollar to aid in wildfire relief for Sonoma County?” Whatever. “Give a dollar to homeless pets?” Okay. “Save free information!” Click.

The result is positive for the recipient. That doesn’t make the motive for donation genuine.

And it doesn’t make the universe less likely to balance out your good luck with misfortune.

I think about that a lot. I’m always grateful for the positive experiences in my life, but I’m hyper aware of the fact that they often come at a premium. There’s a trade owed the universe, and you will pay it in painful ways. Maybe it’s a hard lesson you need to learn after you land your dream job. Maybe it’s illness, recovery, and loss after you find a few years of companionship. Maybe it’s your family turning their back on you a month before your wedding to the love of your life. And oh, by the way, she’s a girl and you are, too.

I’ve enjoyed two years with my fiancée. I marry her in 23 days. How many of my family will actually show up? At this point, I’m not sure.

I took a job in the Bay Area in July. It wasn’t so sudden that my fiancée didn’t have input. She absolutely did, and though we didn’t expect to be able to afford Northern California, we’re happy we could make this work. Or, at least, that we will make this work after June, which is when her teacher’s contract runs out in Texas. I’ve raked up so many frequent flyer miles, going back and forth every spare moment, and in the airspace between SFO and DAL, I’ve uncovered an anxiety I never expected to have: a fear of flying.

I have flown a Cessna. I have logged hours in a genuine full-scale 737-700 simulator. My dad was a professional pilot at one point in his life, my uncle still is, and all his kids can fly. My grandfather flew for the Thunderbirds. My brother is on his way to being a commercial pilot. I am not afraid of planes.

I started crying and choking before walking through security. I panicked when I booked tickets. If not for some of them being booked immediately after I got the job, I would not have gotten on a plane after September, but I’ve been on five trips since, fifteen total, and for most of them the what-ifs and potential loss has consumed me to the point of paralysis. Every bump and adjustment on takeoff freaks me the fuck out. The changing sounds of the engines at different altitudes and powers freaks me the fuck out. It’s taken every moment of every one of those harrowing trips to learn how to manage the anxiety, to rationalize the noises I hear from the engines, to normalize the dips and turns out of each Bay Area airport, but come Thanksgiving, when I climbed on a plane for the first long break I’d gotten at the new company, when I was so over the project I was working on that I was relieved to be standing at another fucking gate and boarding another fucking plane, all the stress management techniques I’d gathered in my anxiety did nothing to stop me from experiencing sheer terror flying out of SJC, meeting some bumpy air, banking to head south down the coast to catch a connecting flight out of LAX and bouncing around in the turn. I landed at SAT five hours later, cried in relief when the plane touched down (I always do, and I thank the plane for getting me there. That plane’s name was Tank. I gave it that name.), and stumbled into the terminal as fast as my eighth row seat would allow.

And then, I went to my family’s Thanksgiving.

I should precede this with the statement that the nine days my fiancée and I spent at my mom’s house started fairly early on with some culture shock. My fiancée is in grad school, and one of her class assignments was a “cultural plunge.” That’s a hilarious concept, because her entire life is a cultural plunge. She was born in Houston, but raised completely in India, went to college in Singapore, and came back to the states after. Living here has been one awkward learning experience after another, and with her brown skin, it’s also often been an experience of racism, of profiling, of assumptions made by ignorant people. She can’t go through an airport without getting her bag inspected and a pat-down (that happened once with my mother, and after we told her that no, my brown fiancée really does get profiled, and my mom damn near got herself arrested chewing the TSA agents out because how dare you treat her daughter like that. Yes, my mom is privileged. But, go Mom). Her background in science has often made living in Texas not unlike living on an alien world where logic and reason are outlawed. And oh, she’s a lesbian too. Discrimination trifecta.

Anyway, she submitted the idea of going to a Catholic Church on Sunday and staying for a mass as a cultural plunge, because unlike her white middle-class native Texan classmates, this was something she’d never done before.

I mean, what are the odds that they’d pick a gospel that would somehow relate to one of the many hot-button issues that any church in a red state could pick? The Pope is fairly liberal for a Catholic, and neither my mother nor I really remembered the sermons being terribly political.

Clearly, it’s been a while since we attended church.

My mother was horrified. Here was an opportunity for her to show her daughter-in-law a bit of her culture, and her upbringing, and therefore a bit of where my own morals and morality comes from. Here’s a chance for her to prove to me that the church of her childhood might have had these tenants but the sermons didn’t get into specifics, and people mostly just tried to Love Thy Neighbor.

I was pissed. I glared hard at the deacon as he climbed off the dais and walked back to his seat, and I’m certain he saw me. I’m certain he paused for a half-step because he saw my face, which I’ve been told can be really menacing when I’m angry. I don’t keep my emotions to myself very often. I don’t have a poker face like my fiancée.

She couldn’t muster that face. She was openly crying and trying not to show it. This church – this remarkably diverse church where she didn’t stick out like a sore thumb, which had epistles in three languages, which was holding a bake sale as we walked in had on its staff a white conservative deacon who took an unrelated Gospel and warped it into a hateful political rant that didn’t hit one button. Oh no. That sermon was an IED array and it hit every single freaking target on the list.

We left during the Eucharist, and we didn’t buy a pie on the way out.

Five days after this experience that left us all in a drinking mood, and which after several bottles of wine was still a little painful, we went to the Thanksgiving party with my dad’s side of the family.

A lot of my aunts, uncles, and cousins seemed genuinely excited about the wedding. There was a bit of a shadow over one of my aunts because her father is really, really ill. Dad and my stepmother told a story about my grandmother, the escape artist, who is probably a lot more together than they think but who was put in an old folk’s home for people with memory problems about two months ago. I dread going to see her because the last time I saw her in a rehab facility, after she knocked her head and suffered the brain trauma that probably drove a lot of the symptoms she still has, it was a little difficult. It’s not going to be easy to see her in a home that isn’t actually her house. She apparently agrees, because she treats visitors to a tour of the place and asks a lot of pointed questions, like how many nurses are at the front station and whether or not you think someone can get to the parking lot from any given set of doors. She’s an inmate in a place she doesn’t feel comfortable staying, and she’s already made it to her car with an overnight bag once. But they have the keys locked up. I think she’s trying to figure out where they are.

She recognizes me. Remembers my name. Knows the wedding is soon. Asks about California. Hugs my future wife. And maybe goes through a few names before she gets some of my cousins’ and uncles’ names right, but she’s been doing that since I was four. We’re a big family. She always gets it right in under six tries.

My aunt looks hesitant to talk about her father, but she does. Both of us listen as she expresses her fears about being away, even for a day or two, because the doctors haven’t been very precise in telling the family to “spend time with him while you can.” It could be days, or maybe months, but probably not through winter because winter seems to be when so many people go, like the warmth-starved land sucks them dry. Which is weird, because we’re all from South Texas, and winter there is like 80 degrees.

We sympathize, and a pang of something I have only been able to define recently shoots through me. It feels like mortality, and reminds me of my fear of flying. It reminds me that I have this thing, this person, this state of being that I found and eventually will lose, that the loss won’t come when I’m ready for it (because that is never. I will never be ready for it). My heart hurts for her and my cousins, because the man is in his 80s like my two surviving grandparents, and that is a long and accomplished life, but it is still too soon for all of them. We have fought for my grandmother often enough and recent enough that I understand that position, too.

Hours later, before the annual turkey bowl, that aunt and my uncle, plus their oldest son come find my fiancée and I in the upstairs game room where most of the cousins retreat after lunch and before football. They ask us both to come out onto the balcony with them for a few minutes. Their younger son, recently married, follows shortly after with his new bride.

And my cousin starts….with a prayer.

“Heavenly Father, please guide our conversation today in your wisdom and light.”

I have my fiancée’s hand in my own. I hold it tighter. I know where this is about to go.

My cousin is a stalwart, honest guy. He’s the eldest son of two people who have always given where they could. They drop what they’re doing to help people, simply because they need help. They give within their means, which are better means than most. Their big and open hearts were passed to two of their three sons, both of whom were standing on that balcony with them. But they are sinners, my cousin says, all of them. And he is no better than anyone. He cannot cast judgment upon sinners as one of them, as someone who has been addicted to pornography, and has crossed lines with women. He loves us both, they all do, but surely we’ve read what the Bible says and it’s wrong, wrong, wrong.

My uncle says to us, we love you. We will not change how we treat you…but we’ve prayed about this for a while, and we can’t go to the wedding.

“We can’t celebrate the sin,” my cousin says.

And I know they love us, the best way they know how. I told them that I understood their perspective, though I disagreed, and respected their decision. We hugged, my aunt called me big-hearted, someone mentioned chocolate (it might have been me), and they started filing off the balcony.

I stayed behind and broke down in my fiancee’s arms.

See, my family had been outwardly accepting until that moment, when something finally broke enough for the first people to say something about it. And my fiancée – my tall, brown, “foreign” fiancée who has tried so hard to get my family to like her – felt instantly like all that effort had been for absolutely nothing. And I? I felt guilty for putting her in that position, for forcing us into a position where my family may never truly be okay with any of this, where a lifetime of loving and supporting each other so demonstratively may yet be lost on so many people I love, because somehow our relationship all boils down to sex to some people. Theirs is about love, but ours is about sex, and lust, and sin, and how the context of the Bible may be all about polyamorous lustful activities but a committed, loving, monogamous relationship between two women is just the same as sexually abusing guests and having orgies in front of idols and a really vague Greek word which in context probably means “men who sleep with boy prostitutes” but magically includes all people who engage in the act of sodomy and well never mind that you’re not actually doing that you’re just the same as the literal “man bed” who will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.

Maybe karma can keep that paradise, because I don’t want to spend eternity in a place where loving companionship is the same as assault. I get enough of that in the news.

It took me a while to come out of the bathroom I found to hide in, because there was no amount of water that could bring the redness down, and eventually my fiancée brought my closest cousin to find me. She saw us walk out, she counted the time, and she knew something had gone wrong. We told her what had happened.

This is the brewing rift. There are some people in our family who sit in Catholic services every Sunday and are not only going to the wedding but are genuinely excited for it. And there are some who might yet show up, but will be at the bar a lot.

Those excited for it will probably not enjoy learning why so many of us are absent. What happens then is probably not high drama, but probably won’t be business as usual either. Said my closest cousin, “I don’t know what to do with them now. You have a bigger heart than me for walking out of that situation without coming downstairs and telling everyone about it immediately.”

Twice in one day, in different contexts, two people I care about made reference to my perfectly normal sized, potentially smaller than average heart. Karma revealed the consequences of my good fortune that night, and they continue to unfold by the minute. For the first time in my life, I may miss Christmas with that side of the family this year. I suspect it won’t be the last thing we miss.

I climbed on the plane to come back to California two days later, and cried over the root of the problem with all these flights: the separation has been torture, and after the emotional week we had, it was going to be hard for us to heal apart. I put on my noice-canceling earphones and turned on Radiolab just before takeoff. It was a podcast about a girl without an identity, whose family kept her sheltered and off the grid, who didn’t have any kind of paper trail because her parents didn’t believe in social security numbers, and so never let her have one. I flew over Kerrville, where she had lived most of her life, while listening to the story. Takeoff was smooth. So was most of the trip back to SJC. And except for a really rough patch of air over New Mexico on the way to Dallas on Friday, my flights this weekend were just as painless.

I landed at SFO on Sunday and thanked the plane, as usual.

My eyes were dry.

bookishspacequeen replied to your post: I will forever be bitter about how many of my…

Oh, yes. Please make a list.

I DON’T NEED TO BE ASKED TWICE

I live for recommending books so. Here we go. This is probably going to get really long…..

  • The Books of Pellinor by Alison Croggon - Okay, listen. This is one of the two series that will always hold a very, very special place in my heart because I read these books when I wrote my first ever book. So they’re packed full of nostalgia and all that good stuff. Also they’re straight up amazing and I don’t understand why no one has read them?
  • The Seven Realms Series by Cinda Williams Chima - This is the other series that will forever take up space in my heart. I will never forget how I cried myself to sleep after I finished reading the last one in the series (I have a problem with attachments to fictional characters, okay?). I love these books a lot and everyone should go read them right now and then come yell at me about them.
  • The Elemental Trilogy by Sherry Thomas - Another super incredible YA high fantasy series that everyone should read right now! The first book has some shaky world building but oh my god, the characters are AMAZING! I just finished the third book earlier this month and I already miss Iolanthe and Titus so much. I screamed at these books a lot and it was a great time.
  • Sekret & Skandal by Lindsay Smith - These psychic teenage Russian spies stole my heart go read these books now. I was so sad when I finished Skandal (still am) because I never wanted to leave these kids.
  • also Dreamstrider by Lindsay Smith - Amazing high fantasy espionage. I really need to reread this soon. It was one of my favorite books from last year and I need everyone to read it. Right now.

(while you’re at it just go follow @lindsaysmithdc, she’s amazing and also she has another book coming out in October. I’m dying to read it and everyone else should be too)

  • The Weight of Feathers by Anna-Marie McLemore - Achingly beautiful YA magical realism. This book. I will never be able to accurately sum up how good it so so just read it. 
  • The Inheritance Trilogy by N. K. Jemisin - I’ve actually only read the first two books in this series but they are AMAZING and obviously the third one will be too because, duh, it’s N. K. Jemisin.
  • The Mapmakers Trilogy by S. E. Grove - MG fantasy. These books remind me a little bit of His Dark Materials (which everyone should also go read if you haven’t already). Anyway. The world building is incredible and the main characters Sophia and Theo are the cutest ever. I want to live inside these books.
  • The Monstrumologist Series by Rick Yancey - I LOVE THESE BOOKS. SO MUCH!!! They’re dark and horrible and twisted and I have never been so delighted. The writing, the setting, the characters - it’s all incredible. Also I cried a lot while reading these and that’s always good.
  • An Inheritance of Ashes by Leah Bobet - Technically this is dystopia but it reads more like fantasy. This weird, wonderful book broke my heart. I’m overwhelmingly in love with all the characters and still weeping about everything.
  • A Thousand Nights by E. K. Johnston - Beautiful retelling of One Thousand and One Nights. I don’t have words for this stunning book. I never wanted it to end.
  • A History of Glitter and Blood by Hannah Moskowitz - Yeah I’m still crying over this one. This book was so strange and haunting and gritty and just downright gorgeous. I’m probably never going to get over it.
  • The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender by Leslye Walton - This book is a weird, sad, beautiful little treasure. I don’t know what else to say about it? Just read it and come cry with me.
  • In the Shadows by Kiersten White and Jim Di Bartolo - This is one of the most beautiful books I own. Half of the story is written by Kiersten White (everyone go read her newest book And I Darken it’s phenomenal and I’m marrying it) and half of the story is illustrated by Jim Di Bartolo and it’s dark and creepy and sad and beautiful.
  • Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea & Between the Spark and the Burn by April Genevieve Tucholke - I LOVE. THESE BOOKS. SO. MUCH. Please read them. They’re really weird but… that’s what makes them so incredible? I read the second book in one sitting and I am greatly looking forward to rereading them someday.
  • Wink, Poppy, Midnight by April Genevieve Tucholke - Again, really weird but really brilliant. 
  • The Leviathan Trilogy by Scott Westerfeld - Super incredible steampunk/alternate history of WWI. It’s been a long time since I’ve read these books but I love them a lot. Also Keith Thompson illustrated them and wow I could look at those illustrations for days. The characters in this series are some of my favorites ever and everything is just really, really delightful.
  • The Scorpion Rules by Erin Bow - So I’m not really a huge fan of dystopia, but I loved this. A lot. It’s quite unlike other dystopia and also involves a ridiculous AI. Honestly the whole cast of characters is brilliant. Also minor spoiler (I guess??) Happy bisexual girls!!!!! (Everyone should also read her debut Plain Kate. I’m still crying.)
  • Skin Hunger by Kathleen Duey - This is another really dark and twisted book and it messed me up. I’m dying for the second one.
  • The Abarat Series by Clive Barker - These books are WEIRD and I love them so, so much. I think I read the first one when I was like… 11 or 12? I have no idea when the fourth one is going to be published so that kind of sucks and I believe there is also supposed to be a fifth one? But oh man. These books are a trip. Also the villain!!! Like everything in this series he’s really freaking weird and I love him a lot. (He looks like a corpse, his grandmother stitched his lips shut with he was young, and his nightmares swim around in this weird collar thing he wears. And… I don’t want to say he’s the LI, because he’s not but… idk, it’s hard to talk about without being spoilery so everyone should just go read the books.) The illustrations are also great and sometimes a bit demented.
  • Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Mantchev - I haven’t read the rest of this series but I’m sure the other books will be equally charming. The theatre geek in me was absolutely thrilled by this. I practically lived in my community theatre growing up (I mean… not to the extent of Bertie, who actually does live in the theatre, but you know) but trust me this book is still charming even if you have no knowledge of theatre whatsoever.
  • Outrun the Moon by Stacey Lee - YA historical fiction about a Chinese-American girl during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake. Yeah, this broke my heart and I might have sent it back to the library with tear stains…. (It also made me smile a lot, too, and is just really touching and beautiful.)

All right. I’m probably missing lots of wonderful books and I could go on for ages because books are my life but this is getting really long so we’ll stop here. I hope everyone finds new amazing books to cry about read!

(also I realize that a lot of this is just me saying GO READ IT NOW because I am not good at talking about books I love. Either I scream a lot, or I write like 15 page love letters and since no one actually wants to hear that I settled for lots of demanding)

Homecoming

A late submission for Undercover Thursday. 

It’s late, almost 3 am when he finally makes it home. The apartment is dark; he hadn’t been able to send Kensi a text to let her know he was coming home tonight. He almost wants to turn around and go crash somewhere else so he doesn’t risk waking her up.

But he’s tired and sore, and he just can’t bear to spend another minute in another place that isn’t his own home.

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Like, I knew it was by the people who did LOST

and all I knew about THAT show was that they didn’t plan it out and it was apparently a huge clusterfuck, so I cannot say that I am surprised, but I am still angry.

Oh my God, for a brilliant concept allowing a massive multi-crossover Disney/Grimm crackfic with some awesome actors and some great ideas, Once Upon a Time is a show that seriously fucking needs to get its shit together.

Giant rant full of opinions, meta, and complaining under the cut.

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Arrow 3x16 - The Offer

I don’t know about you guys, but I am glad hiatus is over.All that theorising, the speculation, the agonizing wait is finally over and we can get down to the serious business of the meaty part of this season. This show excels at its final third, so I am excited for this upcoming batch of episodes, even as I know that things are about to get a whole lot worse for Oliver and his friends.

As for ‘The Offer’ – I. LOVED. THIS. EPISODE. Guys, guys!! Wasn’t it amazing? I feel like the fandom has suddenly taken a dip in the Lazarus Pit and emerged fresh, rejuvenated and filled with hope. I don’t know if it was because we had so few spoilers for this episode – and that literally NONE of the Olicity scenes were spoiled, THANK YOU ARROW PEEPS! – or because the Oliver and Felicity of it all was so season 2 classic that it’s not even funny, but this episode was a ray (sorry!) of sunshine in an otherwise overwhelmingly dark season. It’s like someone else said – it felt like a “flirt embargo” had been lifted and suddenly we were showered with all the goodness we have wanted all season long. I don’t expect this happy mood to last (this is Arrow, after all), but this week, I am in a very good place.

Let’s get into this.

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Crystal Eyes- Isaac Lahey Imagine

-Can you do an Isaac fic where you an Isaac share your first kiss but he’s like mega nervous like when he was human and cute fluff please!!!- @letlovin

A/N: It feels so good to be back! Thanks for all of the lovely messages and support. It means the world. 

It was the end of the school year, which meant tons of end of year parties. Lydia’s was the first one of the season. It was at the lake house, and she had invited the pack to stay the weekend afterward. 

You drove up with Lydia to set up for the party in the morning. It was an excuse to get away from all of, well most of, the supernatural commotion back in Beacon Hills. It was also an excuse to spend time with Lydia, who you had become close to when you moved to Beacon Hills five months ago. 

The two of you worked throughout the day setting things up and cleaning up the older house. It was almost time for the party to start, so you and Lydia decided to grab a bite to eat.

“So, are you excited for your first party at the lake house tonight?” She asked, taking a bite of her salad. 

“Yeah, I actually am. Thank you for inviting me and practically taking me under your wing ever since I got here. You and the pack have been amazing.” You smiled. 

“We love you to pieces, Y/N. Seriously, though, ever since you joined the pack, Isaac has not shut up. He’s never been so happy.” Lydia chuckled. 

“Really?” You felt your cheeks getting rosier. 

“Oh definitely! He really likes you, Y/N. Maybe he’ll make a move tonight.” Lydia winked.

The two of you drove back to the lake house, but the entire car ride, all you could think about was what Lydia said. You were head over heels in love with Isaac, but you were never quite sure if he felt the same way. He was easy going around everybody. You couldn’t help but hope that he actually did make a move. 

Soon enough, everyone started to arrive and the sun started to set. The music got progressively louder over the course of the night. You were hanging out with Scott and Kira, when Isaac came over. 

“Hey, Y/N!” He said, enveloping you in a hug; one of your favorite things about Isaac.

“Isaac, hi!” You replied. 

The two of you spent a remainder of the night together. Neither of you were much of the drinking type, so you stayed far from all of the kids that were really partying. Nothing overwhelmingly romantic was happening. A few spark-filled touches and sweet giggles, but nothing that wasn’t typical with Isaac. 

You were beginning to think that Lydia was just guessing that Isaac would make a move. Finally, Isaac grabbed your hand and began leading you down to the dock. The two of you sat down and dangled your feet in the cool water. The two of you continued to hold hands, tighter than before. 

“Y/N, I’m so glad you chose to be a part of the pack.” Isaac joyfully sighed, leaning his head on your shoulder. 

“I think you guys chose me.” You giggled. 

Isaac lifted his head and locked eyes with you. A slight smile crept onto his lips. He leaned forward as if he was going to kiss you, but he pulled away before anything happened. 

“Y/N, listen, I like you a lot. I’m just nervous about being in a relationship. What if you realize I’m not good enough for you? What if another werewolf comes along and sweeps you off your feet?” He spoke, looking down at his hands. 

“Isaac, I won’t hurt ever hurt you. I like you too much to throw it away. You are the only wolf boy for me.” 

Isaac lifted his head and kissed your lips.  

“I’m glad I’m the only one for you.” He smiled, eyes shinning from the reflections of the lake. 

anonymous asked:

Hey! This ask is about Carol & friendship, specifically female friends. General female interactions (or lack thereof!) aside, I've always felt it does make sense for Carol's character to be more private, much the way Daryl is. One reviewer of Consumed described them as "the two 'outsiders' in a group of outsiders" which imo is how I see them also. In your opinion, do u think pre-Ed Carol had many female friends? What's your headcanon for Carol's "friendship personality" (past & future)?

Hi anon! This is a really great ask, and I feel the need to preface what I’m about to say here with the fact that there isn’t a chance in hell I’ll do it justice. But here we go with my weakass attempt, okay?

First, let me answer the question about pre-Ed Carol. I know so many people have a ton of headcanons about that, but because of how limited our actual canon evidence is, I honestly don’t. (I am canon’s bitch, god help me.) My guess is that given the natural warmth of her personality, yes, she probably had friends before she wound up with the gross mess Ed turned out to be. If I headcanon it at all, I see her one of those girls in high school who wasn’t cool and wasn’t not cool – just kind of floating along hoping not to be noticed and to somehow live through the whole thing without too many psychological scars. But absolutely I think she had friends before Ed. However, once he showed up and revealed his true colors, I do think that Carol’s opportunity to have genuine friends (as opposed to acquaintances in the neighborhood or related to Ed’s work) would have been severely limited. 

And that’s why my heart just melts when I think about what happened to Carol just after the turn, when she accidentally landed with Team Family. From the moment we see her doing laundry with Amy, Andrea, and Jacqui, it’s clear that she takes absolute delight in the company of other women. (I mean, who will *ever* be over her adorable little nose crinkle after she admits she misses her vibrator? I die about it so often.)

Generally speaking, TWD is often pretty much crap at writing women, but from S1 through S3, Carol has lovely, beautiful, heartbreaking friendships with Lori and Andrea and functions as something close to a mother figure to Beth. I never get enough female interaction, but oh god, there are so many examples to illustrate my point. Carol and Lori in the church. Andrea and Lori holding Carol as she tries to process what’s happening with Sophia. Carol telling Andrea that not wanting Sophia to wind up like Amy is the worst thing she’s ever said. Lori and Carol smack-talking each other at the prison (god seriously, just kill me, I want to crawl into a hole just thinking how much I love that scene), Carol’s face when she realizes that Lori’s dead, the fact that Carol is the *only* person who welcomes Andrea back from Woodbury, her face when she realizes that they brought Andrea’s body and not Andrea back from Woodbury, etc. etc. etc. 

She had friends. She valued relationships with women. It’s canon.

But on to the harder part. 

When Rick threw her out like yesterday’s garbage in “Indifference,” Carol’s entire world changed, and it’s never turned around for a single minute. I don’t know what would have happened in a counterfactual world where he hadn’t made that ultimate asshole choice. Nobody does.

What I do know is that his banishment set into motion a series of events that put Carol where she is now.

And at this point, you’re absolutely right. She’s guarded. She has every single emotional wall up. I don’t think that applies only to women either. I think she has walls up against every human in the known universe. WHO WOULDN’T? She’s been to hell and back several times with nobody to help her through any of it. Her time with Daryl in “Consumed” was a tiny respite, and honestly the degree to which she thaws a little in that episode devastates me more every single time I watch it. It’s not hard at all for me to take off my shipper goggles and simply acknowledge that out of all the people in the known universe, Carol probably feels less judged by Daryl than she does by anyone. Consequently, if she’s going to allow a crack in the armor, it’s probably going to be around him.

But particularly after JSS, my guess is that she at present has every last defense set to overdrive. She’s tired down to her mitochondria. It breaks my heart to say it, but I don’t think she’s even staying alive because she cares about staying alive for herself anymore. I think she’s staying alive because she knows she has enough skill to possibly save a few other people before she has to check out, and as long as she can do that, that’s the choice she wants to make. Not to mention her own admission that she basically figures she’s going to hell, so she might as well hold that off as long as possible. *cries forever*

I don’t make predications about this show. I just don’t. If there were any justice in the world, Carol’s arc would be taking her to a place where someone, anyone, would slow down and take care of her rather than it always being the other way around. She’d bond with Michonne. She’d have the chance to help Olivia learn how to cope with this new world. She’d give Maggie tips on how to deal with morning sickness. She’d give Tara a super cool recipe to make the awesomest surprise dinner for Denise.

However, TPTB on this show are overwhelmingly white and male. So while narrative logic absolutely dictates that Carol needs – after years of sacrificing herself for others – some catharsis of her own, that’s no guarantee it will happen. (The number of 100% real tears I have cried on this subject is actually embarrassing, but here we are.)

I ship Carol with life, love, friends, happiness, and people who appreciate her for the fantastically wonderful human she is. I just wish some of the writers felt the same way, you know?