i am so funny i know

Promo Promo Promo

Hey y’all, 

Today is gonna be a hard day for many folks out there in tumblr-land, and since I am at home and do not have much planned other than writing this goddamned story that I should already be finished, how about a wee round of compliment promos to make everyone shine! 

- Please be following me (It’s not required, but it’d be nice)
- Go tell someone else you love them. 
- Watch a funny video on youtube/cuddle your pets/loved ones/favourite cuddly thing
- Reblog this post so I know you want a promo

I’ll do these in lists later - this ends at 8pm EST today, January 20th. 

Lava you all my darlings. 

anonymous asked:

hello! i finally got around to watching the netflix episodes and i loved them and they made me go re-read the books which i hadn't done since i was younger. i was just wondering why you think the show, and the film, chose to portray count olaf as a comical character? like his wickedness doesn't really come across as well by making everything he says/does funny? am i completely missing something? would love an opinion by someone who knows the books very well!

Count Olaf is kind of a difficult character to translate onto the screen, because you don’t find many children’s books with villains who are as awful as he is. I think the main reason why they’ve chosen to make him more comical in the adaptations is that they don’t want children to find Count Olaf so scary that they can’t watch the show/movie. It seems like they try to make him a little more “family friendly” which, like you said, kind of keeps his wickedness from coming across the correct way. In the books, Count Olaf does make you laugh as well, but that’s usually because you’re laughing to yourself about something incredibly stupid that he’s said, and it doesn’t happen nearly as frequently as it does in the adaptations.

HELLO HELLO !!  i have been awaiting this day so, so eagerly .  my name’s rocket and i am REALLY EXCITED TO BE HERE zoo wee mama .  i understand people have been having trouble with ims as of late ,  so if you wanna plot ?!?  send me a message .  or i will come to you !!  but without further ado —– let’s get to know rei , shall we ?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Um why is everyone saying that the creators are silent and it's unusual when there are already a few interviews out??

I am trying to avoid The Creators so I’m not sure. I know that there were some interviews but they could have easily been done before the fact. I honestly don’t know if I want to hear what they want to say at this point. Even though I am sort of at peace with the entire business after reading meta that I can stand by and made sense to me, I still think that it’s best for me to avoid anything verging “official”. I do find it funny that they skipped the “sherlock react” video.. wonder why… 

Okay so some of my veteran followers might know that I am Until Dawn TRASH and if you know the menus as you play each character shows their characteristics, 6 of them to be exact and since Endless summer gives me Until Dawn vibes a liiiiil I want to do the characteristics thing with ES characters on a scale of one to ten


MC
Honest: 6/10
Charitable: 8/10
Funny: 7/10
Brave: 9/10
Romantic: 8/10
Curious: 9/10

Jake
Honest: 5/10
Charitable: 6,5/10
Funny: 8,5/10
Brave: 8/10
Romantic: 6/10
Curious: 7/10

Quinn
Honest: 7/10
Charitable: 10/10
Funny: 6/10
Brave: 7/10
Romantic: 8/10
Curious: 9/10


Sean
Honest: 8/10
Charitable: 7/10
Funny: 6/10
Brave: 7/10
Romantic: 7/10
Curious: 5/10


Estella
Honest: 4/10
Charitable: 5/10
Funny: 2/10
Brave: 10/10
Romantic: 4/10
Curious: 6/10

Diego
Honest: 6/10
Charitable: 9/10
Funny: 10/10
Brave: 5/10
Romantic: 2/10
Curious: 7/10

Michelle
Honest: 5/10
Charitable: 4/10
Funny: 3/10
Brave: 5/10
Romantic: 7/10
Curious: 6/10

Lila
Honest: 5/10 (???)
Charitable: 8/10
Funny: 5/10
Brave: 6/10
Romantic: 3/10
Curious: 7/10


Raj
Honest: 8/10
Charitable: 8/10
Funny: 9/10
Brave: 5/10
Romantic: 2/10
Curious: 6/19


Craig
Honest: 6/10
Charitable: 4/10
Funny: 7/10
Brave: 6/10
Romantic: 5/10
Curious: 6/10


Zahra
Honest: 9/10
Charitable: 5/10
Funny: 7/10
Brave: 5/10
Romantic: 5/10
Curious: 5/10


Grace
Honest: 5/10
Charitable: 8/10
Funny: 4/10
Brave: 6/10
Romantic: 5,5/10
Curious: 7/10


Alister
Honest: 6/10
Charitable: 2/10
Funny: 2/10
Brave: 4/10
Romantic: 2/10
Curious: 5/10


I love making things like these you can ask me in the ask box if you want me to do a reference or headcanon like this I enjoy it.

I just recalled one of my favourite experiences of mansplaining, which came from a then-close friend. We were chatting online and somehow, the topic of conversation turned to my hair colour as I was considering dyeing it.

Me: The trouble is my hair is so dark
Him: Yeah, black hair usually is.
Me: …my hair isn’t black.
Him: Yeah it is.
Me: No, I’m pretty sure it isn’t.
Him: *laughs as if I’m making a funny* I’ve seen your hair. It’s definitely black. I know what I saw.
Me: *long, long, long pause* …are you trying to tell me what colour the hair that is attached to my head is? The hair I brush daily? The hair I am holding right now? The hair that has been the same colour for my whole life?
Him: Well, you don’t see it in the same light as the rest of us.

I lost my words at that point.

HEY TAYLOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey @taylorswift it’s savvy! 

i just wanted to take the time to tell you how much i love you and thank you for everything you have done for me. Your music has gotten me through a lot and i am more than grateful to you for that. I love who you are as a person and everything you stand for. You are kind and warm and beyond lovely.  i am so so excited that i get to go to your show in Houston! you make me so incredibly happy. i can’t wait to finally meet you and give you a hug that lasts for four years. i know you’re on tumblr mostly but if you should ever go back on instagram, you should show some mad love to one of my dearest friends, her name is Bethany Foster, but her username is Classic.tay. She is so funny and creative and sends positivity in the fandom. Also, @swiftiesecretsantablog is someone who is just swagical (swiftie magic) it would make her day if you said hey hey hey! 

It’s been a long day without you my friend, and i can’t wait to tell you all about it when i meet you some day. 

love you more than i could possibly put into words 

anonymous asked:

brady skjei, lars eller, pricey (and btw nuge loves horses almost more than he loves hockey!!!)

brady skjei - rangers

oh my god he’s so cute im in love with him. he’s mine. we’re done here. when you look up “American Heartthrob” in the dictionary, brady’s picture is there. i have nothing funny to say because i am officially in love. (have you guys noticed i have a type? because i have a type. bye)

lars eller - capitals

looks like he should have a show on HGTV where he goes into like, gross twenty-something’s houses and re-designs it for them. either looks Really Good in pictures or gets caught making terrible faces. looks like he would be really mature and sophisticated but makes fart jokes on the reg. probably knows how to cook like, grown-up food, but generally eats kraft mac & cheese in his designer kitchen instead. dad material.

carey price - habs

the most beautiful man alive?? prince charming?? canada’s sweetheart?? Mr. Done With Your Shit?? too good for all of us?? sorry this is supposed to be first impressions and funny. right… really soft spoken and quiet, but has a wicked dry sense of humor. could probably be dating like eighteen people at once, but is loyal AF to his chosen partner. Says “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” regularly. Has probably made people cry by doing so. Annoyingly good at everything he ever does or tries to do. rumored to sweat glitter, has not been confirmed or denied

Dear Sister,

I can’t remember the last time I told you I loved you that wasn’t prompted by one of us heading towards the security line at the airport. But I do love you. I love you so much that I have spent years wanting to be like you.

I haven’t always been the best sister. But I think the world of you. I want you to know that you can tell me about your life. I want to hear. Not just the day to day of what you did in between our facebook chats, but the big things. The worries that burry down inside of you, the joys so pure you cannot put into words, the people you love. 

In a lot of ways I feel as if I am just getting to know you. In little moments you shine through, the real you. The you I saw when you were with your friends. And She is amazing and funny and smart and caring and I want to know her. So please don’t hide away. 

Know that there is nothing you can do to make me love you any less. You are forever my sister, and whether we are on opposite ends of the same coast or if entire oceans separate us, you are my sister. You are a part of who I am, and even in the moments that we are on opposite sides of the door, both crying, both yelling. My soul is tied to you. 

E

anonymous asked:

Howdy! I have a request! So you know how there is a Code: Realize ~Future Blessings~ coming out? Well, there are photos showing some senarios and I'd like to ask what you think they may be? Super curious! My only requirement is to add a little funny part in it...? Maybe? Please! Thank you!~❤️

Mod S here! Sorry this one is so late; CR:FB has been out for a while, so I understand if this ask isn’t as exciting for you anymore. I’m sorry. ;; 

However, as it’s still in Japanese and I am not versed in that language, nor have I read any translations about the games (as I am an incredibly anti-spoiler person), I can still probably make some fun scenarios out of the CGS! They’ll likely be wrong, but it’ll be fun, right? ^^ I’ll make sure to add some humor!

So I’ll call this headcanon Code: Realize Future Blessing CG Scenarios. As always, let us know if there’s anything else you wanted or if this needs to be changed! You’re amazing. <3 

Arséne Lupin: 

This one is tricky. I think Lupin is hiding perhaps to surprise Cardia. He’s got Sisi in order to make sure the dog doesn’t give away his position. However, Cardia’s found him and that’s the reason for the disappointed look on his face. I think Sisi barking when she heard Cardia ruined whatever surprise Lupin had planned for her.  

Abraham Van Healsing: 

VAN KISS CG GET! Erm, anyway, I think Victor has just developed a drug to cure Cardia’s poison. Cardia is proposing a way to test to see whether or not it worked, but before she can touch something, Van just grabs and kisses her. He’s so euphoric and Cardia is so shocked that they don’t move for what seems like forever. 

Impey Barbicane: 

Cardia was worried that Impey was working late into the night so she walks into his workshop and finds him sleeping. She’s hesitant to wake him, and she just smiles at how cute he looks sleeping. Impey starts talking in his sleep about Cardia, and it seems to be a bit risque; it makes her blush and she wakes Impey up shortly after. 

Victor Frankenstein: 

How cute! It seems like Cardia’s nervous at the idea of touching Victor; she’s afraid that even though she’s taking medicine, the poison will somehow hurt Victor. In response, Victor takes Cardia’s hand and places it on his cheek. He tells her she’ll be just fine and that she can touch him whenever she feels like. Thus why Victor is blushing. 

 Saint Germain: 

Saint G and Cardia are in Paris during a festival. Saint G says they should participate, and that they should dance. Cardia doesn’t know how and Saint G offers to teach her. He grabs her suddenly and pulls her close. He teases her and Cardia cannot respond, she’s too embarrassed. Saint G just chuckles and dances with her. 

Okay so I found my dead grandfather’s journal from 56 years ago. This is some old stuff, okay, and I was like yeah I’m gonna read a page or two. 

Basically he wrote down this road trip he did with a friend of his (name is Giulio) but at some point it gets so weird.

I’ll try my best to translate it from italian to english (english is not my first language) and well, I’m also having a hard time trying to read my gandpa’s writing cause he wrote like a drunk snail.

Now, beware, my grandfather was an italian man dedicated to work, church, work and work, who believed in the traditional family and all that Jazz. But at some point I reach this part where he writes: “yesterday me and Giulio slept in the same tent as mine was stolen at the gas station. As it was really cold, we slept close. In the middle of the night I realized that the warmth next to me did not belong to my Nadia (his fiancé at the time, my grandmother). It was the most intense feeling I’ve ever felt”.

And I was like allright that’s some weird no homo bullshit but who cares.

BUT THEN IT JUST GETS WORSE.

“I was having a cigarette whilst Giulio was asleep in the car, having a nap before we hit the road again. In the midst of the smoke of my tobacco, I saw his face and thought that the woman who is going to marry him will be lucky”.

Grandpa, what the hell? 

BUT OH NO IT JUST GETS BETTER.

“We shared a bed. Old motel did not have spare rooms, it was awkward at first. Then I started thinking that the warmth of Giulio’s body is somehow becoming more familiar to me then Nadia’s.”

Now, I have like seventy more pages of this goddamn journal but I am pretty fucking sure my gandfather had the worst crush over his best friend.


The complete post X

Dan's Hobbit Hair | 17.01.17
  • Dan: When I have short hair, I can kind of just shower and leave it, which is like now. And sometimes, I feel like I prefer it to being straight, cause it's kind of hard to control when it's straight as my hair doesn't want to be straight - insert jokes. So here I am, wavy Dan is rising.
  • Outside: *sirens*
  • Dan: Hello. Can you get stabbed somewhere else? I'm trying to communicate with my audience.
  • Someone in chat: We love your hobbit hair.
  • Dan: Thank you.
  • Someone else in chat: Just like you.
  • Dan: Thank you.

Episode 12x01 spoilers, watch out for unoriginality since people have probably already done this

@destieldrabblesdaily Shirley this is all your fault (I guess you could say happy really late birthday I don’t know)

february thirteenth

summary: after a trip around the world, emma returns home to storybrooke, unprepared to be suddenly entwined in killian jones’ life thanks to ruby’s constant meddling, and her dad’s insistence that killian is off limits.

word count: ~12,000

also read on: ao3, ff.net


Ruby Lucas is by definition a meddler.

She’s the reason Emma works at Granny’s, she’s the reason Killian sits in the corner booth alone every morning at 7:00, and she’s the reason Emma holds an unending grudge regarding the morning of February thirteenth.

But that’s not how the story starts.

It starts with Emma Nolan driving through Storybrooke, Maine and bumping into Killian Jones on the sidewalk outside of Granny’s Diner not fifteen minutes into her forced stop in the tiny town.

Actually, the story starts a long time before that, during a time where Emma was dating a Class A asshole named Neal, but that’s less important.

Killian’s carrying a paper cup filled with steaming hot coffee when she bumps into him and the only reason she knows is because it splashes straight out of the cup and onto her favorite sweater.

“Oh, bloody hell,” he immediately blurts out. “I am so, so sorry, love.”

Keep reading

Happy Birthday to my Bob @zukura <333333333 I hope you have a good year next year and even tho this year was shit knowing you made it a little more bearable <3 I honestly have a lowkey crush on you but you know that but just wanted to put that out there. You’re honestly just so great and funny and just aaa a a a a a s c  r  e   mmmm not to mention you pretty af like wtf how do you get your makeup to look so good, I’m so jealous! But honestly, I love you and am so happy to have known you! Have a great birthday bob <33333333333Also aged up yurio w/ long hair is my life

okay but what if jungkook used to tease jimin by not calling him ‘hyung’ because he wants Jimin to see him as someone equal as him not as the youngest member in the group, because he don’t want jimin to love him as a baby brother he don’t want jimin to love him because he is cute and because he is the youngest among them, because he wants jimin to see him as a man that he could love and could love him back too so thats why he always making fun of Jimin also thats why jungkook works out a lot because kids are not supposed to have muscles right? kids are not supposed to look sexy right? that way maybe his jimin hyung will look at him as a man

An explanation post of Jin’s (bad) dad jokes

So I don’t know if this is done already, but we all know that Jin loves to make everyone laugh with his good or bad old dad jokes. To appreciate his effort, I decided to make a compilation of the jokes I personally think are, well yeah, ‘funny’. Since most of these jokes are in Korean, they sound actually funnier in Korean than when they are translated to English, which is why I also provided a short explanation so that non-Korean speakers will understand and maybe even appreciate ;) Jin’s dad jokes as well! :) So let’s get started!

(I am not a native speaker of Korean, as I am only learning it as a second language! Therefore, if there are some mistakes in this post, please don’t bash me, and correct me nicely okay ;-;)

Joke 1:

Q: What did the dog say to the wall?

A: Wolwol.

This joke is so bad but okay ;-; Non-Korean speakers might not be able to understand this joke at first. But it’s actually a very easy joke to understand. Wolwol (월월) is the sound a dog makes in Korean, and the word sounds exactly like wall. i srsly wanted to hit seokjin it’s such a bad joke omfg

Joke 2:

Q: What’s it called when God gives birth to a child?

A: A newborn child (= in Korean: 갓난아이)

To understand this joke immediately, you actually need to have some knowledge of Korean. This because the answer is a Korean wordplay. I’ll try to explain this as clear as I can. 

The word 갓난아이 literally means ‘a newborn child’. 갓난 (’gatnan’) means ‘new born/just born’, and 아이 means child. See? The 갓 (’gat’) in 갓난 (new born) sounds like the word God in english, doesn’t it? ^^ It’s a typical Korean wordplay and this joke is actually one of my favorites lmao. 

EDIT: I forgot to mention that 갓난아이 can also be translated to ‘the child that came from God.’ Here, 갓 means God, and 난 comes from 나다 (pronunciation = ‘nada’), which literally means ‘to come out of’. Another reason why this joke is a Korean wordplay (and is actually much funnier than people would think in the first place, hehe) 

Joke 3: 

Q: How does a cow laugh?

A: U-haha (= in Korean: 우하하)

THIS ONE IS DEF ONE OF MY FAVS EVER LMAAAOO. 

Anways *cough cough*, some of you might have seen the English translation of the answer as ‘muhaha’, which would make more sense in English ofcourse, but not in Korean. It’s a simple joke, really. The answer in Korean is 우하하. It consists of 우 (pronunciation = u), which means cow, and 하하, which is just haha. i rlly laughed too hard at this joke yoongi would be furious at me

Joke 4:

Q: What’s the color of a hamburger?

A: Burgundy

Hamburger in Korean = 헴버거 

Burgundy in Korean = 버건디 

These two words just have a similar pronunciation lmao, especially in Korean. You actually have to hear it to understand it better. Watch THIS video to hear Jin saying it himself and to see Jimin laughing like crazy lmao.

Joke 5:

Q: What’s dead sesame called?

A: Freckles (= in Korean: 주근깨)

Another Korean wordplay, lol. To explain it shortly, the Korean translation of ‘dead sesame’ is 죽은 (= English: dead) 참깨(= English: sesame). If you shorten 죽은 참깨 (pronunciation = ‘chugeun chamkkae’), you will get 죽은깨 (pronunciation = ‘chugeunkkae’), which sounds exactly the same as the Korean word for ‘freckle’, which is 주근깨 (also prunounced as chugeunkkae).

Joke 6:

Q: What time is it in India? (= in Korean: 인도에 몇 시야?)

A: Indonesia (= in Korean: 인도네시아)

This one is so LAME but actually so funny ohmygod. I put the Hangul of Indonesia above, which is 인도네시아. The Korean translation of India is ‘인도’ (pronunciation = ‘indo’). In Korean, the 네시아 (pronunciation = nesia) in Indonesia sounds exactly the same as 네시야, which literally means: it’s 4 o’clock. So in Korean, Indonesia could also literally mean: ‘It’s 4 o’clock in India’, hence why the answer to this question is Indonesia.

To put it in a short and simple way:

인도네시아 = Indonesia

인도 네시야 (Which has a very similar pronunciation to 인도네시아, Indonesia) = It’s 4 o’clock in India. 

Sooooo…. that was it basically! Ofcourse, Jin has probably made much more dad jokes, but these are the ones which were funny to me lmao. I hope you guys understand his dad jokes better now, and if you have a question about it, don’t hesitate to ask me! ;)

Originally posted by theseoks

I KNOW THE POLLS CLOSE IN A FEW HOURS BUT PLEASE READ IF YOU ARE VOTING FOR DONALD TRUMP JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY OR YOU THINK IT’S JUST A JOKE (trust me, there are so many people that are just so fucking stupid in the country) OR FOR ANY OTHER REASON IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A SIGN NOT TO VOTE FOR HIM, WELL--

WE HAD A MOCK ELECTION AT SCHOOL TODAY AND DONALD TRUMP WON MY FUCKING SCHOOL.

BY 52%.

MY SCHOOL IS FILLED WITH IDIOTS IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT KNOW I KNOW THAT THEY’RE SOMEHOW EVEN DUMBER THAN I HAD PREVIOUSLY CONCEIVED.

DON’T MAKE THE MISTAKE THAT 52% OF MY SCHOOL OF IDIOTS MADE TODAY

DON’T


VOTE


FOR


FUCKING


DONALD


TRUMP

IT IS NOT A JOKE, IT NEVER WAS, MILLIONS OF LIVES ARE AT STAKE.

TIME IS RUNNING OUT PEOPLE, SPREAD THE FUCKING WORD

HE


IS


NOT


THE 


RIGHT


CHOICE

If search engines were Supernatural fans...

Bing:

Conclusion: Bing is kinky as fuck but also deep as fuck, confused about the brothers’ nicknames, has a love/hate relationship with Sam and really wants to know WHY, and thinks Dean is the Hulk.


Yahoo: 

Conclusion: Yahoo is a Sam!girl, is pretty sure about Dean’s orientation, has plenty of crossover headcanons, and ships Wincest.


Google:

Conclusion: Google prefers Dean but doesn’t know quite what to make of his sexuality. However, Google is certain that Sam is gay—while at the same time being entirely unable to pin down his species.