i am so excited to make a complete idiot of myself

Six Years and Seven Days

This is pretending that Bellamy could hear Clarke talking all those years, she just can’t hear him responding, and that the ship at the end is them coming back to Earth. 


Day Three

“Bellamy…are you up there? Are you alive? Is anyone alive?”


“I only woke up yesterday. At least, I think it was yesterday. I barely made it into the bunker in time, but I made it. And the computer says it’s been three days since the radiation hit, and I was so hungry I thought I might die. Please tell me you didn’t die.”


“Bellamy, my mom was right. In a way. My face is disgusting, covered in boils. You’d be laughing at me…probably. Because she was right but so were you. I’m not dead Bellamy. I hope you aren’t either.”

His fingers slammed on the respond button, pushing it down to the point of it feeling like it would crack from the pressure.

“I’m not dead, Clarke. I’m not dead.”

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Anything you can do, I can do better.

Originally posted by got7kings

[song inspiration: Flum ft. Tove Lo - Say it]

Info: im jaebum fuckboy!AU x oc fuckgirl!AU
genre: pure smut
word count: 4.3k
a/n: all your bias’ are gonna burn after this. ALL HAIL THE BIAS BURNER SIN JAEBUM! (possibility of a part two)

[New Message: Im Fuckboy]

What the fuck was he messaging me for? 

Im Jaebum, the biggest fuckboy around. He was just as big of a fuckboy as I was a fuckgirl, though. It’s not like we ever talked, unless we wanted to fuck one of the other’s friends. Other than that, we stayed out of each other’s way. There was no reason for us to associate. Period.

So, why is he texting me?

[11:14 pm] Im Fuckboy: What are you doin’?

[11:14 pm] Im Fuckboy: Hey!

[11:14 pm] Im Fuckboy: Lilith!

I rolled my eyes so damn hard it hurt my head.

[11:15 pm] Me: What do you want?

[11:15 pm] Im Fuckboy: You’re not at the party. Why?

[11:15 pm] Im Fuckboy: Fuck everybody here already?

[11:16 pm] Me: Ha! You’re one to talk

[11:16 pm] Me: You’ve fucked every single one of my friends

[11:17 pm] Me: Is that why you’re texting at a party? No one left to fuck either?

[11:17 pm] Im Fuckboy: You say it like you haven’t fucked all of mine too

[11:17 pm] Im Fuckboy: Which you have

[11:18 pm] Im Fuckboy: But, no that isn’t why. I just realized I’VE never fucked you

[11:18 pm] Im Fuckboy: And I want to

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Companions react to sole always joking about their death when really they're really considering it because they hate themselves but always joking and playing off like nothing is wrong

Thank you for this ask, anon. I’m hoping this one might give people who are dealing with this some hope and comfort, maybe even to talk about it to someone they love and trust. These characters would believe in you, and one way or another so do I ❤️

Intro: Sole was not doing nearly as well as they pretended to. Being in the ravages of the commonwealth, losing what they lost… they felt useless, hadn’t been able to stop it all. Sole couldn’t shake the thought that nothing would change that feeling. They hated themself for not being good enough, never feeling happy enough so faking that it was to the outside world was the next best thing. Joking to hide it, just one day at a time, as long as nobody found out about it. That was until the day, in spite of the smile still set on their face, something must’ve shone through in one of their jokes. They were looking into the very concerned eyes of their Companion. “ Hey… are you alright?”
 It took Sole a fraction of a second to regain their composure, to get back to the façade and the fake smile. “Yeah, of course! I was just joking, let’s go.” Their companion held them by the arm, not tightly, but just to get them to turn around and stand still. 
“ Sole… What is really going on?” The worry in their voice made Sole cave in entirely. They had hoped never to have to explain this… not like they would understand it anyway. But they couldn’t evade it anymore. Tears welled up in Sole’s eyes as they admitted that maybe they hadn’t just been jokes. 

He felt like something had been going on for a while now, noticing the difference between the Sole he used to know and the way they acted now. He never could quite place his finger on what was going on , but as soon as Sole poured their heart out to him he recognized what Sole described. The feeling was somehow familiar to him. He had felt it too, once. He held Sole’s hands and told them they were not alone. “ I have felt lost… for all those years without you. I hate to admit it but… mum/sir I have thought about it too, it was so very lonely. But I held on to the thought that maybe I would see you again. And when you were there… oh Sir/Mum… I was so happy to see you again. You gave me a reason to live and to fight again. I felt better talking to you about it. About how I felt… I have learnt that bottling up past trauma can lead to inadiquate coping strategies in later life. We can help each other Sir/Mum. I am here for you.” His heartwarming smile wasn’t enough to fix the feeling of emptiness instantly but some warmth seeped back in, tears still running free. “Okay.”

Danse felt a slight sense of panic at Sole’s words… he tried to envision a world without them but felt his chest tighten every time he did.  He knew what it felt like to no longer care if you lived or died, but to consider taking your own life… he couldn’t wrap his head around that. He desperately wanted to help but he didn’t know how. “ I know what it feels like to feel like an imposter… but you helped me back up. Through all of this, you are the one thing that has kept me from giving up, from turning it all off. I would have been dead without you and I have devoted my life to protecting you, even if this means protecting you from yourself. So that is what I shall do, in every way I can. “ He pulled them into a very tight embrace and kissed the top of their head. “ You can tell me how you really feel. Your secrets are safe with me. The dark thoughts and the nightmares… I probably have had them too… maybe I can do for you what you do for me. Give you a reason to feel alive again.“ 

Deacon was dumbstruck, his own jokes falling away entirely. He had no idea what to do but not taking Sole’s words seriously was the last thing on his mind. He pulled Sole into a hug. “ Shit Sole, you’re more worthy to be alive than me. You’ve saved so many lives, helped so many people. You have no idea how amazing you are.” Sole shook their head. “ Doesn’t make me feel any better Deacon. It’s not about how worthy who is. I just feel… lost. All the time.” He stroked their hair until Sole cried a little less. As he wiped away some tears from their face he inhaled deeply.  “ I’m not gonna pretend I know what it’s like. I’m a pathological liar with a bad past but I can’t imagine how you feel right now. And that’s okay… as long as you talk to me. You can’t fight your demons alone, I’ve tried doing that myself and it’s only been working since you’re around and since I told you about my past. I can’t… ‘fix’ this. I know that. But I will fight with you if you let me. And until the threat is passed, just to be safe, I won’t be leaving your side. I won’t bring it up unless you want to talk about it but I won’t leave. “ Dacon looked down. “ Because it’s worst when you are alone. “ He grabbed Sole’s hand. “So please know that you’re not. I can be an idiot but I won’t let you get lost in yourself, okay?” Sole was trying to ease their breathing, wiping away some tears. “I… I think I can do that.” Deacon smiled at them, a little smile. “Good. Now get over here.”
He pulled them into a hug again. “ Oh, does this mean death bunnies as a nickname is off the table or…?”  Sole chuckled a little, while Deacon reveled in the sound of their laughter, vowing to get them to smile genuinely, every day, again someday.

Nick didn’t look at Sole with the pity they expected to face, but with a look of determination. “ Listen’ up kid, there’s one thing you need to remember; we’re not gods, we’re men. Human or synth, all of us. You’ve been trying to take on the world, one injustice at a time and you’ve found out that you can’t save everyone. It hacks in on ya, I know. But damnit, you make this damn hellhole a little brighter. So hang in there and rely on others when you need to. If you feel like you can’t handle it, come to me. You’re not the only one who feels lost sometimes, don’t get lost inyourself. You’ve got too many people looking out for ya to do that.” He grabbed Sole’s hand. “You don’t have to face it all alone.” 

Hancock smiled at Sole. “ Looks like we got more in common than I thought.”
“ You mean aside from the deadpan and the sarcasm?” 
“ I’ve almost done it a hundred times over. I’ve considered it, justgoing out on a high, ya know? Literally. And to be honest, if it weren’t for you maybe I woulda done it, too. But you gotta find yoruself somethin’ that makes you excited to wake up in the morning. It doesn’t matter what it is. And if you let me, I’ll do whatever I can to be that thing for you. Or die trying.” 
Sole scoffed, eyes still puffy. “ I’m not sure it’s a good iea to make those kind of jokes. Or to put any kind of pressure on me to be happy.” 
“ Oh, I’m not doing that. You’re a grown-ass (wo)man, I’m not gonna tell you what to be or what to do. But I ain’t going anywhere without ya. But this ain’t the kinda thing you tell people unless you hate that empty feeling. Keep talking to me when you feel it and I’ll help ya. You’re gonna be alright. I’ll keep you safe.Cause you’re the most important thing to me in this whole goddamn world.”

Maxson felt hopeless, felt some sort of unfamiliar panic wash over him. If ther was one thing he wasn’t used to being it was helplessness. He wanted to helo but didn’t have a clue how. “ Sentinel… I would kill for you.” He walked closer to them, looking Sole straight in the eyes. “I would die for you if it came down to it.” He grabbed Sole’s hands. “ But I can’t let you die. Cause I’ve lost a lot of good soldiers, a lot of friends, and I cannot lose you.”
Sole looked at their feet. “But I’m not sure if I can keep going on, Maxson.”
He gritted his teeth. He wasn’t angry at Sole, not dissapointed, just concerned and frustrated by his lack of ability to do anything.
“ Whenever you feel lost, come to me. I know now and I’ll drop anything if you need me to. You can do whatever you want, tell me whatever you want and I won’t use it against you or judge you for it. As long as you don’t do it. “ He had a pleading look in his eyes as he grabbed Sole’s hands in his. “ Please. I am no longer sure if this this world is worth saving for me if it no longer has you in it.”

Preston sighed and asked Sole to sit down on a nearby bench with him. 
“ When I first started all of this I was, um … scared as hell. You know that I often barely managed to hold my head above water. Sometimes I just wanted it all to stop. I’ve seen so much death and misery walking through the commonwealth… it rubs off on you. But I kept going because the people around me needed me. Sometimes I felt some genuine happiness again, in the little things, you know? When I noticed some kids could still be happy, when I saw lovers reunited,… when I saw my guys like Sturges with his eternal optimism. It made me push through. And then you came along and I wasn’t the only one with the weight of the world on my shoulders.There was some hope again, among the pain and the suffering. I’m still not completely okay but I try to go by the little things… you are a reminder that sometimes things get better. But when it all gets too much… “ He gabbed Sole’s hand in his. “You can come to me. I know what it feels like to feel like you’re not enough. As it turns out talking about it helps best, and for me focussing on the little things that make me happy. Like you. Like coming back to the settlement and knowing you’ve given these people a new home. Like the look of relief when we help a settlement and those people realise that they haven’t lost everything. The bravery to start over. You know the story of Pandora’s box right? Once all the misey is out, hope is left. Anyway… just know you can come to me when you want to okay? Cause… I don’t want to lose you.”  

Sturges can’t even stand to see Sole cry, let alone deal with the fact that they’re contemplating ending their life. After they barged in at the Museum of Freedom he felt like he owed them his life but now it came down to it he didn’t know how to return the favor. He looked at them with such hopeful eyes and said “ Hey… I don’t really know how to help but I’ve got your back. You’ve helped us out back at Concord. You saved our damn lives… I wanna do the same for you. You’re one of akind Sole, and this world would be a whole lot darker without you in it. So whenever it gets to much you know where to find me. Same team, remember? “ His heart broke to see Sole nodding their head while they still were having trouble stopping the tears and he pulled them into a hug, holding onto them tightly. “I got you. You’re gonna be okay.”

“ I told you I once thought you looked lost and confused, that you might not be able to handle this life… and how you proved me wrong. How tough and determined you are in spite of all you’ve lost. I told you then you could accomplish anything you set your mind to. I still believe you can. You will overcome this.” He tried to maintain his more composed way of speaking intact but seeing Sole like that… something was hitting a nerve, making him feel something he didn’t usually feel.  
“ X6, I’m not sure if I can. You also told me you were worried I might slow you down and I am doing that now. It’s overwhelming, too much to handle.”
“ I am sworn to protect you.” Sole inhaled deeply, tears still streaming down their face because they were saying goodbeye to their support system. But Sole knew he was probably doing all of this out of a sense of loyalty to Father, a sense of duty.
“ I relieve you of that. You can leave. Nobody will hold it against you. You no longer need to be my bodyguard.You will always be welcome in the Institute but no one will command you any longer.”
“ With all do respect, ma’am/sir, I refuse to leave your side as long as you are in harm’s way.” 
“ This isn’t helping. Knowing I’m a burden, an annoyance to you.It makes it all worse, okay? Just leave.” 
“ Damnit…I am not leaving because I have to protect the one thing that I can’t live without. That’s you.This is no longer just about the Institute. I respect you and I want to be by your side as you take on the world or whatever idiotic thing has gotten into your head that makes you feel insecure. “ He clenched his jaw. “ You do? ”
“ I do… sir/Ma’am. I will aid you in overcoming this in any way you can. I refuse to let you destroy yourself.”

#1 Sexting

Ethan: Do you know how horny I am for you right now? The message pops up on your screen and straight away your cheeks flush. You cast your eyes across the room, towards Ethan who’s sitting with the boys, brainstorming ideas for another weeks video. His phone is in his hand and his eyes flash towards you for a second, he sends a wink your way before facing the boys again, as if nothing was going on. You sigh, turning back towards the TV as your fingers tap against your phone. Concentrate on your work, E. You send back, flipping through channels to try and stop your mind from wandering. Damn him. How can I when you’re sitting over there looking like that. I just want to bend you over that couch and fuck you until you can’t come any more. A gasp bursts from your lips and you try to cover it with a cough. You can feel your body throbbing with desire but you don’t want to make that obvious to him, you know how smug he gets when he gets you where he wants you. Stop. You send back, turning up the TV a little. Why? Am I getting you wet, baby?. Your heart stutters and you bite down on your bottom lip as you shift your thighs, gently squeezing them together. I can see you trying to hide it. Work yourself up for me, ’cause as soon as these idiots leave I’m going to get you to ride me on that couch. I want to hear those sexy moans baby. A whimper escapes your mouth and you look back over at him to see him staring, his eyes hooded, the look that you knew all too well. Shame you’re going to be busy for a while then, I think I’ll go take care of myself. You stand up, stretching your arms above your head in a way that pushes your breasts out, causing Ethan’s jaw to drop a little. Your phone vibrates again, Don’t you dare, the message says and you can hear the threat as plain as day. Smirking to him, you text back a swift Watch me, defying his warning and walking past them and towards your bedroom, knowing that you won’t be waiting very long until Ethan shoves the boys out of the door and joins you. 

Grayson: Your head is pounding and your shoulders are stiff; you roll your neck and sigh heavily, praying that this work in front of you would just magically disappear. Your laptop glares at you, lighting up your face in the dimming light of yours and Grayson’s bedroom, the essay you’ve spent hours writing taunts you and you do your best to try and ease this writers block so you can finish this essay before midnight. You’ve already ignored a call from your friend, so when your phone vibrates against your desk, you’re tempted to not even look in its direction, but when you do you see your boyfriends name. You pick your phone up and see his message, Are you nearly finished babe? I’m getting hungry in here. You giggle, guess you weren’t the only one procrastinating. Thought you were almost done cooking? You reply, watching as the bubble to let you know that he’s writing pops up. Oh I’m not hungry for dinner just yet, I want dessert first. A shiver runs through you and suddenly you’re thinking of the best way to ease this tension. And what do you have in mind for dessert? You know exactly what he’s hinting at, but still, excitement runs throughout your body at the thought of him telling you. Your phone dings. You. I want to bury my tongue inside you, lick at you ’till you come all over my face. Grayson was never one to be shy when it came to letting you know what was on his mind, so you were happy when he was completely and inappropriately honest. I’m working…, you’re also lying, but he doesn’t know that. I don’t care, I want to taste you right now. Come to the living room. It’s a demand that you probably should obey, but you stay put and give it a few seconds to make it seem like you’re busy. I can’t Gray. A smirk forms on as you think about him getting annoyed, probably trying to decide whether or not to come and get you himself. If you make me come and get you, I’m not going to stop making you come until you scream for me to. You whimper at the thought and instead of replying, you slide your phone across the desk. The footsteps you hear stomping down the hall make you tense and you know full to well what’s in store next.

Those who are Broken | Chapter Nineteen

Everyone has a soulmate. Except the Broken.

Word count: 2380

Up way late into the night to finish this. Feels short. Gonna take a nap.

Chapter List

Originally posted by gothdollysedits

“Quit being so paranoid,” you told yourself, walking back and forth between the couch and your bed, rubbing your hands together. “He said he’ll come by later.”

It’s been an hour since Jimin left you to go wherever. One fucking hour. Not a day or several hours, but one. You felt stupid for being so scared, but what could you do? You’re in love with Jimin, and he had just confessed to liking you. Now he’s gone, and you’re pacing your room like a crazy person, peaking at the window to see if Jimin had appeared home yet.  

You felt ridiculous. You would assume that the two of you are dating, and if you are, why are you like this? Maybe it’s because even though he might be yours, you’re still paranoid of the possibility that it’s all a lie. A joke. And that scares you.

You didn’t want to be this way, so with all the will power you had in you, you forced yourself to go to sleep. You climbed into bed, burying yourself under your covers. You lied on your back at first, staring up at the blank ceiling with a blank stare, but your mind was running wild. Eventually you turned to your side, your back facing the window you had grown to like.

What if? All the what ifs were running through your mind again. You really hated living in the fear of what if. Don’t people usually say live life to the fullest? Or something along the lines of living life as if it’s your last? Every day? Well, the last one is stupid. People live longer because they’re careful. Maybe you’re just being a realist.

Maybe live life to its fullest in the category of love?

No. That is stupid, too. You’re already in love, but you’re still iffy in that category. Plus, you need someone that you’re one hundred percent loves you back.


You threw your blankets off, sitting up in bed. You don’t know. You know nothing. You’re a fucking lost puppy—sheep—whatever—in a field of bullshit. You’re the perfect description of stupidity. Simple.

The sound of a knock on your door erupted the silence. You got out of bed, making your way towards the front door. Looking through the peephole, a wave of basically everything new filled you. Opening the door, Jimin stood in front of you, hands in his pockets.

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Valkyrie has the vapours

Sooo… I am on week 3 of being sick with bronchitis and/or walking pneumonia, so forgive me for my ramblings and for taking so long to post.  Here’s my report from the front lines.  (I’m without my laptop so this will be a challenge.)  You might want to grab a beverage because I’m going to put this all in one post.

THAT HORRIBLE FEELING WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU MIGHT NOT MAKE IT TO THE CON IN TIME:  I came down with a stomach bug on Wednesday night (on top of the bronchitis) and was too sick to fly on Thursday morning.  Though the airline was able to rebook me on an afternoon flight, delays meant I would miss my connection.  After an hour standing at the JFK ticket counter during which options slipped away, I was finally able to secure an alternative flight… but had to endure a coach window seat for 6 hours despite having paid for a first class seat.  Thank god for the copious amount of drugs in my system that I was able to remain calm and get a little nap before running through LAX, rebooking yet again when I discovered a better connecting flight, and finally arriving at SeaTac after 1:00 am - 12 hours after I was originally supposed to land. The silver lining was that I was too distracted by the drama to be nervous about what I would say to Cait and Sam.

WAIT, WE’RE QUEUING UP HOW EARLY?  Luckily @chrismosstree and @myguiltyolpleasure scoped out the situation on Thursday afternoon and figured out exactly when and where we needed to be.  I awoke around 5 am after a couple hours of sleep to bid them farewell as they headed for the convention center, taking advantage of their generous offer to hold a place for me in line. Despite being dizzy and queasy I made my way down the street to our “holding pen” outside the main hall to wait for the panel discussion with Sam and Cait.   We were able to meet up with the lovely @supertam87, @sileas84, and @side-eyeing-you and chatted with a lot of other fans while we waited… and waited… and waited.  Seriously, you guys, attending a comic con is all about standing around and monitoring your fluid intake to make sure you don’t have to go to the bathroom at the wrong time.  Luckily I was dehydrated from the decongestants so I didn’t have to worry too much.

OH, MY GOD, IT’S STARTING!  Being in line so early paid off as we got 5th row center seats in the auditorium.  The hall was huge and completely filled up in a matter of minutes.  I feel like you miss so much in the room because you’re trying to switch from watching them on stage, to seeing them blown up on the screens to the side of the stage, to snapping pics, to trying to anticipate whether they are about to do something cute so your camera is at the ready.  Initial impression was that the panel was merely okay, but I’m jaded by having attended the NYC Apple Store event last year where it was a much more intimate setting and they were less guarded.  I’ll have to watch the video to see what I missed because I’ve seen a lot of cute gifs on tumblr.

GOOD LORD, HAVE THESE PEOPLE NEVER MANAGED LINES BEFORE?  The convention organizers came across as very disorganized.  Rather than routing us toward the hall through a series of roped off rows like an airport security checkpoint, we were crammed together in a pen behind some gates like cattle in a feed yard about to go to slaughter.  That set the tone for the day as staff struggled to figure out what to do with us as we queued for photo ops and autograph sessions.  All sense of time was lost as we stood packed cheek to jowl in very stuffy conditions.  By the time we approached our solo pics with Sam I was a sweaty mess - some combination of nerves, the cramped quarters, and the Robitussin.

A TOTAL OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE:  I turned into a blithering idiot during the photo ops.  For those of you who haven’t done this before, the process is similar to school picture day but with more yelling.  There is a tiny mirror hanging outside this curtained off area.  I seriously thought I was going to hyperventilate as we got close to the front of the line.  You have only a second to realize you are a sweaty mess before you give your ticket to someone and are waved into the booth.  You see Sam smiling with a fan plastered to his side while a photographer screams, “READY!”  *click* “NEXT!”  Then you are thrust toward Sam and he says hello while clasping you tightly.  You are too tongue-tied to say anything and too blinded by his beauty to look him in the eye.  "READY!“ *click* "NEXT!”  It’s over.  You can’t believe it happened, but you assume it did. Emotions were running high and we skipped away, giggling uncontrollably.  Then got back in line for the joint photo op and the solo Cait session…. which took all afternoon.  Observations: I’m shorter than I thought I was after seeing myself next to them.  Sam’s jacket is unbelievably soft and I’m surprised I didn’t pet him (or maybe I did - who can remember).  He smells really good (not that @chrismosstree would know…).  He’s also thinner than I expected.  Not skinny, but not beefy like in S1.  (He’s the same height as my brother but seems so much taller.) Cait’s legs are ridiculously long and her waist is in line with my bust.  She glows. It was all a blur.  I pride myself on being unflapable, but I was - well - flapped.  I was shy and embarrassed and nervous and excited and couldn’t put a sentence together, all at the same time. 

“THAT IS SO COOL!”  On to the autograph session and a two hour wait to deliver the Doll Frasers to Cait.  They had been packed in their little trunk and carried around all day while I mentally rehearsed what I would say.  A few people asked what was in the box (I carried it in a giant clear zip lock bag to guard again rain.) As I explained that our friend makes costumes for a set of Jamie and Claire dolls and poses them in scenes from the show, one woman asked if @outlanderedandoverhere had a booth at the con where she could buy her own set!  (There’s an idea for a revenue stream, Fiona…)  There were handlers taking each item to be autographed and passing them to Cait and Sam so that by the time you were in front of them the item was signed and you could be on your way.  I was a little worried that they might not allow gifts because I didn’t see anyone in front of me doing it and I had visions of carrying the trunk around for the next week only to have to ship it back to the U.K.  I knew I had to be quick and concise, so I removed the trunk from the bag and unlatched the lid.  I flipped it open and set the thr trunk down in front of Cait, telling her that we saw the Doll Fraser calendar on the wall in their makeup trailer and thought the cast and crew might like their own set of dolls to play with.  She said, “Yeah, yeah!” and lit up like a Christmas tree.  Seriously, smiling ear to ear and digging through the trunk.  I pointed out the charity t-shirts and she said, “That is so cool!”  She just could not stop staring at them while I babbled on about how the Doll Frasers have been adopted by our community.  Finally the handler tried to move on to the next fan and Cait sighed and reluctantly closed the trunk before tucking it under the table.  She even made a little sqeeing noise.  Sam was sitting too far away and occupied with signing to notice, and they were running waaay behind, so there was noopportunity to alert him to the transaction. However, the Doll Frasers were clearly a hit.  No telling where they go from here (I assume all gifts were sent to production offices in Scotland) but hopefully we’ll see or hear about them again at some point.

After that we were FINALLY finished for the day and headed out to meet up with other fans for dinner.  And, honestly, that was the best part of this event: meeting up with so many of you.  I have laughed (and coughed) so much in the last week that my abs might actually form a “six pack.” 😂  And I love how willing everyone is to share their experience and that so many are interested.

Some of you have asked about the cock blocking story.  It’s not that interesting and requires props and facial expressions to convey properly so it’s best done in person.  For some reason (ahem, @c2bend and @rainmanjdog) it’s taken on a life of its own.  Truly, I’m not trying to be a tease so I’ll see if I can figure out a way to tell it with @chrismosstree’s help.  We’re off to dinner now but will be back online later. 

tl:dr  Overall impressions are that Sam seemed very tired and a little guarded, Cait could not have been more lovely nor down to earth, and that we are an amazing, funny, smart, and lovely group of women.  Mwah!

Auston Matthews - Part 28


Everything in the room seems to go still, they stare other and I stand in the kitchen frozen in time. Auston slowly looks back at me, an unreadable look on his face as he opens his mouth to speak to me.

               “Y/N, who’s your friend?” He asks, his voice dangerously low and immediately I feel defensive. He has no reason to be mad at me. None.

               “Auston this is Riley, Riley this is Auston,” I say, moving from the kitchen to the outskirts of the living room. I may be defensive, but I’m not dumb enough to walk over to Auston right now.

               Auston nods at Riley who stands and holds out his hand, Auston eyes it a moment before setting his bag down pointedly on the stairs before moving to the couch and shaking his hand.

               “Nice to meet you,” Riley says pleasantly, though I can see him squirm slightly as Auston squeezes his hand probably a little too hard. I hurry to Auston’s side and put a hand on his arm, he immediately lets go of Riley’s hand and also moves his arm out from under my touch. A flash of hurt passes through me and I frown.

               “How’s the project?” Auston asks me, looking down at me with unfamiliar eyes.

               “Good, we were just finishing up,” I stammer, unable to hold his gaze and look down at my hands.

               “Right, I was just packing my things,” Riley says, sitting back down and stuffing the last of his books into the well-worn backpack. Auston reaches out and relief floods me, but quickly vanishes again when he takes my elbow and walks me to the kitchen.

               “Auston,” I hiss, jerking my arm out of his grasp. “Do not man handle me.”

               “Your lab partner is him?” Auston hisses back at me.

               “No, he’s just a stray I picked up off the street,” I spit back at him, sarcasm thick on my words. “Of course he’s my fucking partner, Auston. What’s your problem?”

               “And you were here working alone, with a very good looking guy, who was blatantly staring at you before I even opened the damn door.” This time it isn’t a question and I give him an exasperated look.

               “Are you fucking kidding me right now? He is my lab partner Auston, what do you not understand about that?” I snap.

               Just as Auston opens his mouth to speak, my dogs come bounding into the room, some watch dogs they are. They bounce around at Riley’s legs and he reaches down to pet them.

               “I never asked, what are their names?” Riley asks me, glancing over at where Auston and I are huddled behind the counter.

               “Zalla is the bigger one on your right, Andie on your left,” I say, giving him a tight smile.

               “Andie? Isn’t that a boy name?” Riley asks, glancing back up from them.

               “That’s rich coming from a boy named Riley,” Auston grumbles next to me, loud enough for Riley to hear.

               “Auston!” I hiss, sending andelbow into his ribs though he barely even notices, his stare on Riley. To my surprise Riley doesn’t get upset, he laughs quietly instead.

               “Touché. Should have seen that coming,” he gives one last pet to each of them before heading towards the door. Sending a filthy look at Auston, I hurry to open it for him.

               “Thank you for coming to work on our project, Riley,” I try to smile at him, embarrassed by Auston’s actions.

               “No problem, thanks for hosting. I’ll finish the conclusion and email it to you this weekend,” he says before slipping out the door and down the path to his car.

               I close the door quietly behind me, drawing the curtains in the living room before turning very slowly to face Auston who has moved into the living room.

               “Auston, what were you thinking?” I try to say as calmly as I possibly can.

               “What was I thinking? What were you thinking?” Auston asks, crossing his arms across his chest.

               “What was I thinking? Let me tell you what I was thinking, Auston. I was thinking that my fucking boyfriend might possibly find the decency in him to act like a human being when talking to someone who I will have to work with the rest of this semester,” I say, glaring at him with everything I can muster.

               “I was being a decent human being considering he was in my girlfriend’s house, who was completely oblivious to the way he was looking at her like she was a shiny trophy that he had finally won. I never imagined when you said that you weren’t able to make it to my game that you would instead be spending all night with some stranger who could have done anything to you and no one would know about it!” Auston says right back at me, though his voice isn’t as calm as mine.

               “Excuse me? I have school Auston, I have grades to keep up. It’s not like I blew off your game to go on a hot date!” My voice raises several octaves. “I am a grown adult, I can take care of myself and there was no way that he would have ever tried anything. He’s socially awkward and intimidated by me for some reason, he wouldn’t be capable of doing anything to me!”

               “You don’t know that, Y/N! You’ve been here four weeks! Four fucking weeks! You think you know anyone well enough to feel like you know everything they are capable of?” Auston snaps back at me, gesturing with his hands.

               “I guess not because I didn’t know that my boyfriend was so capable of making me feel like shit when I literally did nothing!” I snap.

               “Do not turn this around on me. You know me Y/N, you know most everything about me,” Auston says, this time a little more evenly which infuriates me, while he seems to be calming down, I’m only getting angrier. “I’m just hurt that you didn’t tell me about him before, or that you didn’t go someplace public like a library or something!”

               Tears well in my eyes, I don’t understand why he’s so upset with me.

               “Do not try and make it seem like you were just concerned about my safety,” I yell at him, unable to hold it back anymore. “Alex told me how jealous of a person you can get and it’s pathetic, Auston. I did nothing wrong. At all. You just can’t take that I spent time with someone else that wasn’t you or your best friends. Notice how none of the friends I’ve made outside your little circle are guys? You cannot control who I do and do not work with and spend time with!”

               I take a deep, shaky breath, tears over flowing from my eyes. Auston stares me at me that unreadable look on his face again and I can’t keep his eye contact, it’s too painful.

               “I am not a jealous person, Y/N,” Auston says, his voice incredibly quiet compared to my own yell.

               “Yes you are! Look at you! You’re grasping at every possible straw you can to make me feel bad about not going to your game and having Riley over here to work on school work.” I once again put emphasis on my last two words.

               “Did he make you feel uncomfortable at all tonight? Did he get tense and maybe snap at you over something stupid? Did you notice him looking at you more than you looked at him? Was he over excited when he got here? Try to make small talk and then get upset when you didn’t talk back?” Auston starts listing off these questions and my stomach goes cold at the truth behind all of them.

               “Did you happen to notice him looking at you as you walked away? Did he get distracted by something dumb you said and look like an idiot trying to regain focus?” Auston keeps asking questions and I just stare at him wordlessly. “I can see the yes in your eyes to all of those questions, because those are some of the same exact things that I used to do to you when I was a teenager living in Ann Arbor.”

               I can’t seem to form any words, I just stare at him in confusion.

               “He wants you Y/N. The same way I wanted you when I was a horny teenager. I could see it from the moment I saw him from my car in the driveway. That’s why I’m upset.”

               I find my voice and I feel myself take a step towards him.

               “So what? So what if he wants to sleep with me, Auston? Just because he wants to, does that mean he gets to?” I ask him, venom in my voice from the hurt coursing through me. “Hmm? Does it?”

               “No,” he stammers, eyeing me warily as I take another step towards him.

               “No is right, he doesn’t. Do you trust me?” I ask.

               “Of course I trust you…” Auston again stammers, and I can tell he wants to take a step back when I take another one forward.

               “Really? Because it doesn’t seem like you do right now, Auston,” more tears are steaming down my face but I refuse to wipe them away. “I watch you go on road trips all the time. Do you think I sit here wondering what you’re doing or if some girl is trying to slip into your DMs looking for a hook up? Because I do, but I don’t ever overthink that because I know that you are someone who would never ever hurt me. Ever. But here you are standing in my living room telling me that you trust me when you don’t. You don’t, Auston.”

               “I decided to trust you when I first kissed you on that hill. Because I knew with living here in Toronto, with you being the hottest thing in town, and that I would have to deal with the jealousy thing. Not once have I complained or ever made you feel like shit over it, have I?” I don’t wait for an answer. “And in comes the first boy I’ve been able to make friends with in Toronto and you come flying in and ruining it. All because you can’t extend the same curtesy to me that I do to you. And that hurts Auston, that hurts a lot.”

               Auston stares at me in shock, his feet rooted into the floor. Several minutes pass of me crying and him staring at me before he’s able to speak.

               “Y/N, all I want is to know that someone isn’t going to try and touch yo-,” Auston starts and I cut him off again.

               “I just said that even if he tried to touch me that it doesn’t mean he gets to!” I practically yell at him. “I would stop him Auston, I would stop him because I love you and I care about you and would never do anything that could possibly hurt you,” I cry at him.

               Auston blinks at me. “What did you just say?” He whispers and I blink back, my cheeks flushing.

               “I love you, Auston. I never thought I was someone who could fall in love with someone almost immediately but here I am, crying because the boy that I love doesn’t trust me,” I start sobbing and he takes a step towards me, I take one back.

               “Don’t,” I plead, I can’t take touching him right now.

               “Y/N…” Auston whispers, hurt crossing his face when I pull away. “I…” he trails off and I shake my head.

               “Please don’t,” I plead again. “Please just go.”

               “Go?” Auston’s eyes go wide, panic clearly on his face.

               I cross my arms across my chest and continue backing away from him.

               “Yes, go,” I whisper.

               “No, no, no,” Auston says, his entire demeanor changing before my eyes. Where he had been hard and distant just seconds before, he now looked lost and hurt. I have to peel my eyes away from him, my heart can’t take it.

               “We need some time, Auston. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me, especially someone with a job like yours,” I say, now backing into the foyer and towards the stairs.

               “When can I see you then?” Auston whispers, following me at a distance this time, his feet just inside the foyer.

               “You have to trust me to be with me. I cannot lose you on top of being five hours from my family,” I wipe at my face with the back of my hand.

               “But I do, I do trust you,” Auston pleads. “You’re right I am jealous, I want everything you are all to myself. I can’t bear the thought of someone else being in my place, the thought makes me go insane and it overwhelmed me. I should have never taken it out on you, Y/N,” he takes a hesitant step toward me and I shake my head.      

               “No, just give it time, okay?” I step up onto the bottom stair, next to his overnight bag.

               “No, I don’t want time! I’ve waiting too many years for you, Y/N. I cannot bear the thought of losing you, please,” he whispers.

               “You’re not losing me,” I whisper, my heart breaking into a million pointy pieces. “You’re just going to have to get over whatever it is that’s keeping you from trusting me. I love you, Auston, I’ve never loved a boy before. You say you’ve been waiting for me so the past few years, what’s a little more time.” I nod to his bag and then to the door, I won’t be able to speak another word.

               Auston’s eyes had closed the moment I said “love” and when he opens them, they are shining with tears. I resist every urge in my body to reach out to him, to show him how much I love him and how much I’m hurting because of that love.

               “Baby,” he whispers and I can see the same longing in his eyes that are in mine. “Please,” he whispers though he know my words stand. I watch him take the bag from next to my feet, his eyes traveling from my toes to my eyes, memorizing me just like I am him. Auston backs toward the door, and I refuse to look away from him.

               We don’t say goodbye, the only sound is the door closing behind Auston’s back and then his car engine as he pulls out of my driveway and back down the road. I slink down on the stairs, wrapping my arms around the banister and let the tears fall down my cheeks.


               I don’t hear from Auston the next day, and he doesn’t hear from me. In fact, I don’t hear anything from anyone all day, my phone lays silent and cold on my coffee table as I keep my mind busy with books and movies. I let myself cry last night, now I refuse to shed another tear. Instead, I live precariously through the characters on my pages and on my screen.

               Mitch POV

               “What do you mean we still can’t message her?” I ask Auston for the tenth time today. We are sitting in a restaurant in downtown Chicago, three days after the two idiot’s mini break up.

               “Just don’t please,” Auston snaps back at me, stabbing at his chicken.

               “I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that you didn’t say you loved her back,” Connor says to my side and I nod in agreement.

               “Because I don’t love her,” Auston says, avoiding all eye contact, clearly not pleased about being the center of conversation once again.

               “Bullshit,” I say. “You’re a bigger idiot than I thought. You love her, it’s impossible not to love Y/N. Even we love her, but our love is a bit different that yours,” I push my food around on my plate. “If you were honest with yourself, you would realize that you’ve loved her since you were sixteen years old.”

               Auston eyes flash to mine and then back down to his food and I know I’m right.

               “Wanna know what I think?” I ask him, her shakes his head but I choose to ignore that. “I think that you’re used to being the one in control of a relationship. Every girl you’ve ever dated has been more into you than you are into them and now that the roles are reversed, you don’t know what to do. You’re vulnerable and at the complete mercy of whatever Y/N says. Which is why you left her house the other night instead of staying and working things out,” I say. Auston again is staring at me with an open mouth, as is Connor.

               “And it’s also why you didn’t tell her that you loved her back because for just a moment, she was like the other girls, admitting her feelings before you said your own and that made you feel better. So, by being a complete dumbass, you have ruined the relationship you’ve been craving since you were sixteen years old. You got to have the girl you’ve daydreamed about for last four years for just six weeks all because you thought she might hurt you just like all the girls that you previously dated thought you were going to hurt them. That’s why you don’t trust her, because you’re scared of the thought of someone hurting you instead of you hurting them.” I finish and take a big bite of my pasta.

               “Which, if I might add, is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” I add, talking through a mouthful.

               Auston stares at me, still comprehending my words, a lost look on his face.

               “You think I ruined it forever?” Auston asks and I can hear the vulnerability in his voice. I know he hates talking about this but with how grumpy he’s been the last few days on the road, I can’t take it anymore and I miss Y/N already. I had grown used to her constant sarcasm and need to take care of us, even her scolding me like a child.

               “I don’t think you ruined it forever, Auston,” I say slowly. “I think that you made things very difficult, especially because by you leaving, she lost not only her best friend but all of us. She’s in a huge new city away from her family and we were her only lifeline and the only ones she trusted. Now she’s home alone, probably hurting and confused.” I don’t hold back with my words even though Auston visibly flinches like I slapped him.

               “I can see why she was so upset,” Connor pipes up. “While I think you had a good point about her having someone she doesn’t know over, I think the whole not trusting her is what you messed up on.”

               Auston nods slowly, pushing his food around on his plate, deep in thought. I’m just in shock he’s actually listening to what we have to say. I slip my phone out of my pocket and open my thread of messages with Y/N.

               U gonna have dinner ready for me tomorrow night?

               I stare at the phone screen with a hint of anxiety, I know she has her phone on her and I know she’s already read it. Finally the little bubbles pop up on the screen and I relax.

               Chinese takeout good enough?

               You read my mind

               Can’t wait

               She includes a happy face and a winky face with her message. I go to type a reply but the bubbles pop up again indicating that she’s typing.

               Thank you

               Is all it says with a blue heart next to it.

               For what?

               I send her back, though I know. For the last three days she’s been completely alone in Toronto, not knowing if she still has friends that are going to come home to her and raid her kitchen and make her squawk like a mother hen, picking up after us and yelling.

               You know

               That I do. See you soon kid.

               Did you actually just call me that?

               Yes, u mad bro?

               Guess someone is only getting ONE crab raggoon tomorrow…

               How rude

               You’re telling me…

               Auston catches on that I’m talking to Y/N, and I see him open his mouth to say something but it looks like a light flashes on in his eyes and he stops. Connor and I exchange a quick glance, unsure what to do.

               “Uh you okay?” Connor asks, eyeing Auston warily.

               “I need Y/N’s dad’s number,” he mutters to himself and whips out his phone faster than I thought possible.

               “Why is that?” I ask slowly, though Auston just waves a hand at me to shut me up.

               “Hey,” he says putting his mouth to the receiver of his phone. “Can you do me a favor?”

We Have Rules For A Reason [Chapter 11]

Chapter 11 of We Have Rules For a Reason

Ch1  Ch2  Ch3  Ch4  Ch5  Ch6  Ch7  Ch8  Ch9  Ch10

Series Genre: AU/Smut/Fluff/Angst at times

The car came to a screeching halt just inches from you as your limp body hit the pavement hard.

You heard Mark’s voice screaming for you as he wrapped you up in his arms, holding you closely to him.

Keep reading

Even If It’s Just Pretend

I was searching for a SnowBaz fake dating fic and I couldn’t find one. Which killed me, so I wrote my own. Also for @snowbaz-feda

Also on Ao3

Description: Simon is broke, his foster father is an asshole, and he knows he has nowhere to go when summer break comes around. So when he sees an ad for a paid psychology experiment involving romantic couples, he’s quick to pretend he’s in a relationship…with his nemesis/roommate Baz.
AKA the faking dating trope that we know we all love.

Chapter 1/Chapter 2/Chapter 3

Keep reading

A Crossroad Deal (4)

Originally posted by jikookfantasy

Summary: After getting out of a long term relationship, you try to move on with your life. However, having spent the last three years unavailable, you are not sure you know how to get back out there again, let alone if you even want to. That is, until you meet Jeon Jungkook, the barista at your college coffee shop. He is more than happy to help you wet your toes in the dating scene again, but at what cost?

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter (Coming Soon)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: A little of everything 

Word Count: 10k

College!Jungkook, somewhat FuckBoy!Jungkook

Warning: 18+ only please. language, thigh ridding, orgasm denial, dom!Jungkook, dirty talk, and semi public sex. This is filth, you have have been warned.

A/N: I have no clue where this came from?? I finished the chapter and it just was there?? My soul will never be the same again. Hope you enjoy!

Keep reading

Uhh... Jello.

Prompt: Gerard is a vampire casually living in New York, when he meets a cashier who works the graveyard shift at a small corner store.


This one is rlly fluffy but I’m gonna write a pretty hot and intense vamp!gee fic next so yay

She was just incredible. Her soft H/C hair that fell perfectly no matter if she styled it or not, those sparkling E/C eyes that lit up the room? She was ridiculously gorgeous. Plus one day Y/N hadn’t worn her uniform (her manager must’ve been lenient that day) and instead wore a Smashing Pumpkins tee. If I wasn’t head over heels before, I certainly was now.

But there was only one tiny problem with asking her out.

“…And that problem is?” Frank asked, and I

My eye twitched, “My problem is that you turned me into a goddamn vampire, you dickhead!”

Frank Iero was a nice guy. My best friend, in fact. He had a good taste in music, would help you if you were feeling down, and was generally fun to be around, despite the copious amounts of sex jokes he made. Frank was also a two hundred year old vampire who was turned in the Victorian times.

He sighed, “Are you still angry at me for that?”

The story goes a bit like this. Frank and I had gone out drinking a few months ago and got absolutely hammered. We stumble back to his apartment somehow, both of our senses of composure out the window. This is when drunk Frank decides that he’s hungry and that the tastiest lunchable was his vulnerable best friend next to him, proceeding to drink me dry. Now, even drunk Frank realized after a few pints that he had taken too much. I had already passed out and was totally screwed. The choice boiled down to letting me die and live with killing his best friend, or force-feeding me his own blood and turning me into a vampire.

Guess which one he went with?

“Yes, Frank. I am still angry at you for making me and my brother immortal vampires.” I snapped, the sides of my phone dipping into my hand.

Oh yeah, when vampires are just born they are absolutely ravished. Frank was in the bathroom when I woke up, nursing a massive hangover, when Mikey walks in. I hadn’t returned his calls and he didn’t know If we had too much to drink. The moment he stepped through the door I had already begun drinking (If I remember right, he tasted horrible)

“Dude, there are worse things out there. I could’ve let you die, you know?” If I had a nickel every time he said that, I would be Oprah.

I collapsed my head into the couch and tried to relax. “Can we please just get back to the target conversation please?”

The guitarist hummed, “Right. So, why don’t you just ask out your little Bella Swan character then?”

I cringed, “God, please don’t, you know I hate that movie,” Frank just laughed like always. Asshole. “If I ask her out then I’m just going to end up biting her and that will ruin her life. That’s why I can’t, you idiot.”

“I don’t know, Gerard. I was around you three for what, a year? A year before turning one of you. And that stuff with Mikey? That’s on you, buddy.” He murmured smugly, and I heard a prominent slurping sound from the other line that made my chest pang. God, I was hungry. I hadn’t fed in a month, and I needed another bag from Frank, and soon.

I grabbed the bottle of pomegranate juice off the end table nearby, which did wonders for keeping the thirst at bay. “So I’ve gathered that you are completely useless, is that it?”

“Hey, buddy, the only advice that I can give you is to just go ask her out. What’s stopping you?”

I tapped my foot nervously, “Well… I mean, when I go near her I get all nervous. And there’s just butterflies in my stomach…”

“Digest them, goddamnit. You’re not getting any younger, just go ask her out. Do not call me again until you do.” And before I could even say anything, the line went dead.

Yep, Frank is completely useless.

I peaked around the corner, nervously biting at my bottom lip. It might’ve looked a bit creepy, now that I think about it. Y/N had her eyes closed, resting her head on her hand, meanwhile I was just watching her from the opposite end of the store, trying not to stare.

Her eyes opened suddenly, and I was caught off guard. I whirled away, pretending to busy myself with the granola bars on the shelf while she looked at me with an amused smile.

“You know you have to buy something, right? Not just stand there?” If the blood in my body hadn’t permanently gone cold I would’ve surely been blushing in that tiny corner store.

I scrambled for anything to buy that might distract me from the embarrassing situation. Wrapping my hands around the first thing I saw, I instantly marched up to the counter without actually looking down at what I was holding.

Y/N stifled a laugh as she looked down and I braced myself and slowly followed her eyesight.

It seemed that I was carrying a very large armful of individual Jello packets. And right there in that moment, I was silently wishing Frank had accidentally killed me instead of turning me. I would’ve been spared this fresh horror.

“Uuh…” I stuttered, my voice completely lost, “uhh… Jello.”

Why am I like this?

She chuckled, “Yeah, Jello. I can see that.”

Well at the very least it looked like I wouldn’t have to go through the extra embarrassment of asking her out, seeing as how I’ve practically exiled myself from every coming into this shitty corner store ever again. “I’ll just go…” As I turned to put the Jello back on their shelves, Y/N’s voice stopped me.

“Hey, It’s alright. You don’t have to be shy, It was just funny,” she said, and a brief glimpse of hope flittered through my head. Quickly, I placed the Jellos back onto the shelf and shuffled back over to the counter. “So I’ve seen you come by here a couple times now and I think that I should get to ask for your name.”

I smiled shyly, praying that she didn’t see anything too noticeable inside my mouth, “Ah.. I’m Gerard. Gerard Way. And I already know yours… From the nametag! Like, I’m not a stalker or anything.”

Fuck. My. Life.

Y/N just hummed, “That settles it then. You’re cute, awkward, and as you said, not a stalker. Gerard Way, would you care to go on a date?”

My eyes popped and my jaw loosened slightly. “Seriously?”

“Pretty sure. I mean, only if you want to.” She murmured.

Shaking my head, I quickly responded, “No no no, I would love to date you! I mean, go on a date with you! Holy shit, yes.”

The cashier giggled and a warm feeling twinged in my chest. “Well you’re enthusiastic, huh?” I nervously twiddled with the ends of my long hair, “Alright Gerard Way. Does tomorrow sound good? We can go get a coffee or something.”

“Coffee sounds really awesome,” Y/N pulled out a small slip of paper and a pen, preparing to write down her number. Just as she scribbled out the digits her finger accidentally slid against the edge of the parchment, and a sliver of red dotted her skin.

An intense pang shot through me, it felt like a heavy weight being thrown directly at my head. It wasn’t like it was the first time I’ve smelled blood since I turned, but I still haven’t got much better at controlling myself. She brushed it off like nothing happened, handing me the paper and smiling coyly.

“See you tomorrow, Gerard.” I forced out a smile, excitement completely forgotten and in it’s place was desperate, clawing thirst.

“Yeah, see you.” I rambled, rushing out of the doors while trying to act as inconspicuous as possible.

The biting air hit me full force when I stepped out the door but I could barely feel it over the painful burn that echoed through every bone in my body. Although my mouth was absolutely the worst off. It was as if my inner cheek was cracked and dry. My tongue felt like sandpaper and my throat? Imagine a metal rod glowing white with heat was being shoved down your throat, melting the skin and dissolving any moisture to be found. That was how bad my thirst had become.

Blood. I needed blood. I fucking needed it.

I ducked into a nearby alleyway, praying that nobody saw me. With shaking hands I took my phone from my pocket, shakily dialing Frank’s number and pressing it into my ear. “Come on… Frank, please pick up…”

“You’ve reached Frank Iero, if you want to get back to me-“

“Fuck you Frank, you choose now to not pick up? Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me!!” I shouted into the phone, anger swelling along with the burn in my throat.

“Hey, you okay, man?” A voice called from down the alley.

My head jerked to the noise, a deranged glint in my eyes. There was a man I didn’t recognize at the end of the alley and he just kept walking towards me. Everything was washing over me, the smell of iron in the air to the ear-splitting beat of his heart. It was painfully intense and it kept on getting worse because a random guy kept on walking towards me.

“Woah, are you alright? Should I call an ambulance?” The man was feet from me when I grabbed his throat, cutting off his windpipe. Before I knew what I was doing, he was already being held against the brick wall and my mouth was open wide.

Fangs slid out of my gums and I jerked the man’s head to the side, exposing his neck. The last thing I registered before blood hit my tongue was the terror flashing in the man’s eyes. His skin split under my sharp teeth and I began to suck, allowing the flow of his blood to pour into my mouth. It tasted beyond incredible. It felt as if I hadn’t had anything to drink in years when in reality it was only three or so weeks. A few pints later I began to hear desperate squeaks coming from my victim.

Victim. Victim? Why would I have a victim? A dull voice at the back of my mind was telling me that I had my fill and that I should let the guy go. I could kill him if I drink too much, after all. But then I focused on the thick taste of blood going down my throat and I was called back to the delicious blood.

A shrill gasp broke me from my thoughts, and I instantly tore from the man’s neck. The man fell to the ground, his face ashen and for a moment I thought he was dead until I saw the steady rise and fall of his chest.

But that wasn’t what shocked me. What shocked me was the figure standing in front of me.

It was Y/N, her lips parted and her eyes wide. I should’ve ran. I should’ve done something to stop her. Gag her, cover her mouth, something. Instead I just stood there with blood dripping down my chin.

“Gerard?” she whispered after what seemed like an eternity, “what… what did you…”

“Y/N please just let me explain,” I stepped towards her and she flinched, “okay, okay, see? I’m not going to hurt you.”

The cashier shook her head slowly, “you’re…”

I sighed, wiping the blood off my chin, “A vampire.”

“This… Isn’t possible,” I expected her to run away or grab a pitchfork. At the very least be scared. But instead she hesitantly stepped forward and slowly reached out a hand for my face. I caught on, completely relieved that she wasn’t freaked out.

“Vampires are real?” Y/N murmured breathlessly. I grinned, exposing the sharp fangs that poked out of my gums. She carefully touched the fangs, a gleam of awe in her gorgeous E/C eyes.

I nervously laughed, “You know, I imagined you reacting a bit differently if I ever told you.”

She smiled up at me, “Are you joking? Repressed goth motherfucker than I am, I think that this is totally cool.”

So… what did ya think? Comments and reblogs with things written with them always make me smile btw so feedback is appreciated.

Also if my writing sucks then PLEASE TELL ME.

Tag List:

@pink-samurai-glitter @frostpuppy14 @mcrxreader @northerndanpour @milkywaysknees @rebel-grunge @rebel-dust @twisted-fallout-pilots @emoish-aesthetic @maggie-starz @awesometarafandoms @omgitsmaaaayvi @fallout-chemical-disco @mads—world @sillypal-blog @xxkilljoy-phanxx @jet-black-hair @squidgysmilkshakes

anonymous asked:

Prompt:: arin confesses and Dan rejects him, but slowly realizes that warm butterfly feeling inside of him whenever he was with arin wasn't just a coincidence and theres a good ol gay happy ending :)

ahahahaha. so this turned out to be an angst fest, but i refuse to apologize.

is there a happy ending? i guess you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.

let me go get some tissues

also holy crap this is long it’s over 3000 words

dedicated to @rubberbangin bc i teased a few spoilers

warning: sexuality crisis and small panic attack!


There was a happy sound ringing throughout the Gru//mp room.

One of Danny’s favorite sounds was Arin’s laugh. He wasn’t completely sure why, but he figured it had something to do with the fact that Arin’s laugh was extremely infectious and made a warm, bubbly feeling rise in Danny’s chest.

He always felt comfortable when he heard Arin’s laugh. It felt like an old friend greeting you with a genuine hug.

Not that he’d thought about it, of course.

In fact, lately Danny had been doing his utmost to not think about his best friend and fellow Gru//mp. He didn’t like some of the thoughts that had been running through his mind recently, so he did what he always did: he stamped it out.

But tonight wasn’t about whispered self-doubts and inner struggles; it was about Arin sitting beside him laughing while Mario jumped yet again and sank helplessly in the water level they were stuck on.

“Dude, the fuckin’ fish is giving me the side-eye,” Arin howled, clapping his knee with mirth. “D’you see that shit? I love Mario!”

Danny’s face hurt from laughing so much. “I know, man.” He adopted a high-pitched, gurgly voice for the fish: “Dammit, Arin, you fucked it up!”

Arin laughed as Mario died and the game over screen flashed at them. “Priceless. Alright. I think it’s about time for next time on Game Gru//mps.” He yawned.

“Yeah, we’re both sleepy. Take care, all you beautiful people,” Danny chirped into the mic.

 As he reached forward to start putting stuff away, Arin mumbled sleepily, “You’re a beautiful person.”

Danny smiled and “aw”-ed, switching off the recording as Arin jotted down the time. His heart had perked up at Arin’s compliment, but Arin always said things like that. Arin had a heart of gold and would take every opportunity to praise him.

“I mean it. Like, you’re gorgeous,” Arin rambled, rubbing his eyes as he gazed at the screen blearily. “Fuckin’…like…I love the way you look. I love your smile, and…your sense of humor, and, like…your fuckin’ eyes…”

Danny was fighting to control his panicking brain, reminding himself Arin was sleepy and confused. “C’mon, dude, you don’t have to flatter me to get in my pants,” he teased, hoping the banter would liven Arin again.

But to his confusion, Arin just turned and gazed at him. “But you are pretty, Danny,” he murmured. “It’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”

Danny’s chest dropped, and an unfamiliar feeling filled the room. Danny felt his fingers squeeze the side of the couch, and he forced a laugh. “Knock it off, Ar. Let’s go, it’s late.”

Arin frowned. “You’re not listening to me.”

Danny stood. “You’re windin’ me up. I’m going home.”


Danny found himself standing against the wall, Arin standing in front of him. Arin no longer looked sleepy or confused. His eyes, those familiar brown eyes that often twinkled when he laughed, were serious and looking directly at him. He looked somber, but his eyes still held warmth. He stood a couple feet away.

“I need to talk to you, Dan.”

Danny straightened, telling himself to stop freaking out and listen. Arin might need help, he scolded himself. You’re his best friend. Listen to him.

“Yeah, Arin? What’s up?”

“I need to tell you something important.” Arin’s gaze shifted slightly, and he rubbed the back of his neck—a nervous habit, Danny knew. “Um. I’ve been meaning to tell you for some time, but…it’s kinda hard.”

Danny waited.

“I…fuck, man, I’m in love with you.”

Silence stretched between them, and Arin took a few beats before speaking again, his words coming out jumbled and rushed:

“I know it’s weird, of course I know that, but I can’t help it. I understand if it’s strange, but I felt like you had a right to know, and—”

Danny cut him off. “Stop it.”

Arin paused, a confused look passing across his face. “Huh?”

“Stop teasing me, dude.” Danny’s face looked dark as he turned away. “It isn’t funny. Stop it.”

Arin’s face crumpled. “Dan, you think…you think I’m joking?”

It’s Arin’s ruined expression that really sent the message home, and Danny wasn’t quite sure what he felt. Emotions churned within him, demanding to be released, but he pushed them down again.

He didn’t want Arin to see his face. He turned away.

“Even if…even if you’re not kidding, you can’t expect…” he trailed off. A lump had lodged itself in his throat. He couldn’t even believe he was having this conversation. “You can’t expect me to feel the same way.”

After a small silence, Danny risked a look back at Arin. He wasn’t crying or looking angry or anything. In fact, he just looked blank.

“Right.” Danny hated the way Arin sounded more than anything in the world. “I—I know. I know you don’t feel the same, uh, I just thought you should know. Don’t worry, this won’t change anything.” It took him a moment, but Arin mustered up a genuine, if small, smile. “I’ll see you in a few days, okay?”

Danny felt like his heart was frozen as Arin walked out the door.


Danny was going crazy.

He paced his room, discarded half-assed lyrics scattered across the floor. He could still hear Arin’s voice echoing through his head:

I…fuck, man, I’m in love with you.

He flopped onto his bed, panic beginning to edge in. He was terrified and he wasn’t even sure why. Where had all that honesty come from? Where were all these feelings coming from? Why had Arin said that so suddenly?

And why had it…excited him?

Danny knew he needed to sort out his emotions, but that scared him even more than seeing Arin’s upset face. He felt like he wasn’t strong enough or ready to tackle all these weird and new feelings.

But then Arin had thrust him right in the middle of it, forcing him to come to terms with the storm in his heart.

Frustrated tears pricked his eyes. He needed to talk.

So, he rolled over and pressed the speed dial to someone who wouldn’t judge and would listen.


 Danny opened the door to welcome Brian. “Hey, man. Thanks for coming over.”

“Well, you did say it was an ‘emergency,’” Brian replied, stepping inside. “So, what’s going on? And why haven’t you texted me back in two days?”

Brian followed Danny to the living room. Danny was jittery. This was the first time he’d confront these emotions and let his secret slip to someone else. But it needed to be done. For Arin, he reminded himself.

Danny sat, motioning for Brian to do the same. “It’s…about Arin.”

Brian quirked an eyebrow. “What about him?”

Danny took a deep breath. “Something happened a couple days ago.”

After Danny had completed his story, Brian got up, walked over and stared Danny dead in the eyes. “Let me get this straight. Arin told you he was in love with you, and you told him to stop kidding around?”

Danny winced. “Well—”

“Dan.” Brian sounded exasperated. “I know I don’t have to tell you, but you’re a fucking idiot. He didn’t even get a full response!”

“I know!” Danny cut him off before he could get into a full-blown lecture. “I feel really shitty about it, okay? But I wasn’t sure what to do! I was too scared!”

Brian’s face melted into confusion as he sat back down. “Scared?”

Danny chewed on his lip. “Look, it’s just…lately, I’ve been feeling…different, and it scares me, okay? I’m not even sure who I am anymore.”

Brian softened. “What is it, Dan?”

“It’s my feelings!” Danny burst out. “I’ve never had feelings for a guy, Brian! We make jokes and rib each other, but none of us have…y’know…confessed! Or dated a dude! And then, of all people, I start…l-liking a guy? It fucking scared the shit out of me.” He went silent, staring at his shoes. “And then I think, is there something wrong with me? Why only this one guy? I’ve only ever liked girls before. And then the feelings are so fucking strong, and it makes me reevaluate everything I thought I knew about myself.” Tears leaked out, and Danny wiped his face. “It’s terrifying to not know who you are, Brian.”

“So, then you were forced to confront these new ideals when Arin confessed,” Brian said gently. “You were trying to repress them, weren’t you?”

“I know it wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what else to do,” Danny said quietly. “It freaked me out. The person I usually told about these sorts of things was the one person that couldn’t know, Brian.”

There was a short silence, and something clicked for Brian. “Wait. You love him?”

Danny jerkily moved. “I don’t know. I don’t fucking know.”

Brian leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. “Dan. Listen to me. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s perfectly normal to suddenly get feelings you don’t expect. And yeah, it’s terrifying to have to figure yourself out all over again when you’re almost forty. But we as humans are always changing, Dan. It’s a part of life. And as far as labeling yourself or deciding the type of person you like…who cares? Just let yourself be you. I know all your friends would support you.” Brian smiled. “Arin would support you.”

Danny smiled, his eyes watery. “Yeah. He always does.”

Brian moved to sling an arm over Danny’s shoulders. “You okay, Danny? I know this must’ve been scary to think about.”

“It was only scary because it was all so new and I didn’t know who to talk to about it,” Danny said softly, reaching for a tissue. “I guess I panicked a little with Arin, huh?”

“You can take time to sort yourself out,” Brian suggested. “Take as long as you need to be comfortable and then talk about it with Arin and whoever else you want to tell.”

But Danny shook his head. “It’s not fair to Arin. He didn’t even get an actual response from me, Brian. Besides, I want him to help me sort this out. I don’t want to do this without him.”

Brian smiled. “Just don’t feel like you owe Arin anything. He would hate that. He’d much rather your reply be genuine and thought out than rash and just because you’re confused, you know.”

“Yeah. I know. But you know the funny thing, Brian? I did have a response for Arin. I think my answer is why I freaked out in the first place.”

Brian quirked an eyebrow. “Really?”

           Danny felt a blush creep over his cheeks, and he stared at his shoe. “So maybe my feelings for Arin haven’t been strictly platonic. And maybe that’s why I started having these new thoughts in the first place.”

Brian didn’t look surprised. “How long?”

“Just a few weeks.”

Brian sighed and leaned back on the couch. “When are you gonna tell him? Because I’m assuming you’re not just gonna never tell him.”

“I’m not! I’ll tell him after our next session. It’s not exactly easy to bring up, Brian.”

The two men looked at each other, and Brian flashed a mischievous grin. “Just don’t have sex on the couch, okay? I’d rather the Space remains clean.”

Danny turned red and shoved him. “Shut the fuck up!”


Danny tentatively entered the Space, but if he expected anything to be different, he was mistaken. Arin greeted him with his usual grin and big hug. And yeah, maybe Arin’s cheerful tone was carefully even, and maybe Danny’s heart beat a mile a minute when he saw him, but everything was normal.

Okay, so maybe not completely normal.

If Brian was expectant, he didn’t show it. He greeted Danny with a middle finger and a hello as Suzy and Ross ambled in to say hi. Danny chatted with Vernon for a few minutes, keeping an eye on Arin, who was laughing with Ross about something. Eventually Arin wandered into the office area to do something, and Danny was close on his heels.

He sat on a beanbag near Arin’s desk as Arin opened something on his computer. He watched him for a few moments before asking as normally as possible: “How was your and Suzy’s trip to Disney yesterday?”

Arin’s eyes lit up and a smile tugged on his mouth. Danny watched him with fascination as he told a story about how he’d nearly thrown up on Space Mountain and Suzy had almost demanded for the people to stop the ride.

Danny’s heart felt fuzzy and mushy. He wondered if everything would be okay. Would Arin even still want him? What would the others say? What about Suzy? What…what would dating Arin be like?

He mentally shook himself. Today wasn’t just about him. Arin and Suzy both had a part to play, too. He’d talk to Suzy later. Now, he needed to speak to Arin about all of this.

Opening his mouth, Danny was about to say something when Barry popped in, grinning. “Hey, Dan, didn’t see you come in. Arin, we need to talk about this next episode of Doodle Doods. Ryan’s editing it right now.”

“Sure,” Arin replied, looking away from the computer. “We don’t have to start recording for a little while. What’s up?”

Danny waited, somewhat impatiently, as Barry explained something about the style of the video and when it should be cut and so on. Arin thought for a moment before asking if he could see the video. To Danny’s disappointment, Arin followed Barry over to Matt and Ryan’s editing stations.

He supposed their talk would just have to wait.


Eight hours and three bags of Skittles later, Danny was sitting on the Gru//mp couch watching Arin finally complete a Mario level.

It was as if their awkward conversation a few days ago had never happened. Arin was as lively and goofy as ever, and Danny found it surprisingly easy to slip into his normal routine with Arin again. He kept having second doubts. Maybe he shouldn’t say anything. Maybe things were better like this. Maybe he shouldn’t risk their friendship for what they could be.

But he kept remembering Brian’s stern eyes and his own resolve to do this for Arin’s sake. It was that promise of what they could be that made him ready to talk.

And things weren’t totally normal. There was a conspicuous lack of playful flirting and sexual jokes. Dick jokes were abundant, but no flirty suggestions or kinky banter at all. Perhaps Arin thought Danny wouldn’t like it anymore.

It was the exact opposite. Danny missed it.

Finally, Arin’s hands dropped the controller as he said goodbye. “See you guys for…whatever the fuck we play next.”

Danny laughed and added his own farewells, reaching forward to flip off the recording. He took a deep, calming breath. He could do this.

He turned to look at Arin, who was scribbling on the paper in front of him. He was softly biting his lower lip, his eyes creased in concentration. Danny’s heart pounded in his chest.

Danny cleared his throat. “Um. Hey, Arin.”

Arin turned to him, expectant. “What’s up?”

He fidgeted. “Uh. I, um. About what happened the other day…”

A shutter closed over Arin’s eyes, his smile turning into a carefully neutral expression. “Dan, look, like I said, just forget—”

“I was wrong,” Danny blurted, cutting him off. He stumbled on. “I-I was wrong about…about what I said.” He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling the panic starting to swell in his chest. “I didn’t mean what I said. I mean, I meant it at the time because I was scared, but it isn’t like I hated what you were saying. I just panicked, because this was all so unexpected and…”

Danny couldn’t breathe. He felt like his throat was being constricted, and he gulped for air. His shoulders were shaking, and he tried desperately to suppress the panic rising in his voice.

Before he knew what was happening, Arin was beside him, placing a hand on his back and holding the other one. “Breathe. C’mon, Dan, deep breaths. Watch me, okay? Breathe with me. That’s great, you’re doing great.”

Danny focused on Arin’s eyes, glinting with compassion and concern. Slowly, his breathing returned to normal and he stopped shaking.

Arin was rubbing his back and squeezing his hand. “There you go. You okay, buddy?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” Danny whispered, squeezing Arin’s hand back. As if just realizing they were holding hands, Arin quickly released Danny’s and looked at his lap.

“If it’s really that hard for you to talk about, why don’t you just forget it happened?” Arin asked in a tiny voice.

Danny steeled himself. “Because I don’t want to forget it happened, Arin. I mean, fuck…it was the best news I’ve gotten in a long time.”

Confusion marred Arin’s face as he looked back up. “What?”

Danny’s hands twisted in his lap. “I actually…I like you, Arin. It just took me awhile to realize it.”

Arin blinked at him slowly.

“I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit lately, and I’m sorry I took it out on you,” Danny continued, his voice soft. “I started having strange feelings about the same sex and it scared the hell out of me. I didn’t want to think about it.”

Arin’s face was a mask. “Dan.”

He looked at Arin’s face, expectant.

Arin softened slightly. “It’s not your fault. I should’ve realized.” He moved to pat Danny’s shoulder. “I’m here for you, okay, buddy? I know what it’s like to have to figure out your sexuality. It’s confusing.” Arin paused. “But you’re not alone. And hey, if you like dick, that just makes us more alike than we originally thought.”

Danny laughed, a little brokenly, not realizing how much he needed to hear those words from Arin until now.

“Let yourself figure it out.” Arin smiled. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Danny reached forward to close his fist around Arin’s sleeve. “I love you.”

It was a quiet but shattering phrase. Danny meant it with every ounce of his being. Whether it was meant romantically or platonically, he wasn’t completely sure yet. But he meant it.

And Arin knew he meant it.

Maybe they weren’t dating. Maybe they would never date. But there was something more there, something shimmering under the surface. Danny knew Arin loved him, and Arin knew Danny loved him.

Danny was confused and Arin knew that. There was a tangle of emotions between the two men. Love, hurt, confusion, affection, heartbreak, and more. It was left to stir with them. No one knew each other as well as they did. No matter what, they had each other. Their friendship was all they’d ever needed.

And maybe, Danny thought as Arin enveloped him in a hug, maybe that’s enough.

Forever | 24: The Name of Love

Summary: You and Sebastian Stan became best friends years ago, on the set of the first Captain America movie, and you couldn’t be happier that you had found someone just as witty and caring as you - but will feelings wiggle their way in and get in between your friendship and happiness?

Word Count: 3.3k (this is super long and lame IM SORRY)

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: (Throughout) Language

A/N: Only 1 chapter left!!!! I’m gonna cry when this fic ends, but I hope y’all enjoy!!! Reader’s POV, then Sebastian’s for the rest - text convos in italics!!


Forever | 23 // Forever | 25

(not my photo - thanks google?)

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Essays in Existentialism: Skin

Soulmate au (clexa of course) where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soul mates skin as well. Imagine having Clarke who’s a super artistic soulmate who draws designs and really beautiful patterns all over her arms and lexa just sits there and watches the little lines appear on their arms and she can’t stop smiling and it’s their favourite part of the day.

Sometimes it was doodles. Little cartoons or swirls or little faces on the tips of her fingers. At night, creatures and imaginary places occupied her ribs and her stomach, appearing like magic in their rightful spots, rarely the same thing twice.

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Can’t help | l.h

Originally posted by 5sospicturesque

Prompt: Loosely based on the song Can’t help falling in love

Word count: 1,829

A/N: So much fluff you might die

I walked in to see her in nothing but my worn out t-shirt and panties. She was jamming out to some weird remix playing on the radio, shouting her made up lyrics off-key. I couldn’t keep in my chuckle as she excitedly rocked her air guitar and whipped her hair like she was a rockstar from the 70s. I made my way to the kitchen and wrapped my arms around her energetic body, making her jump a little.

“Luke. You scared me to death dude.” She breathed, getting tired from her previous “rock show”.

“When will you stop calling your boyfriend dude?” I chuckled, pressing my lips to her sweaty forehead.

“Never.” She poked her tongue out teasingly while running away from my grasp. I shook my head at her childlikeness before rushing towards her, scooping her up and throwing her down onto the couch.

“Alright Titch. I still need to work on some stuff, but I’ll come down soon and help you with dinner okay?” I pecked her pouty lips before walking to my office.

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  A Dream Come True

My first attempt at a RPF! I love Norman, but am nowhere near an expert on him, like I am with Jeffrey. 😜 So excuse my writing of him.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader x Norman Reedus

Word count ~ 3500

Warnings- a few swears, reader talks sex, nothing else in this part.

Tags~ @stileswolfi @magikat409 @jasoncrouse @nothin-after-79 @magpiegirl80  @omgitss0y @binegan @metal-xo @mypopculturediva @angelofthenite

 This was all new. A convention wasn’t anything I had ever experienced , especially one specifically for The Walking Dead, one of my all time favorite television shows. I always thought those conventions were for hardcore, borderline crazy, fans. Yet here I am, packing for my flight to Atlanta.

 I went all out, purchasing the most expensive “platinum” weekend tickets, I even booked the hotel that I had heard the celebrity guests were staying at. Only place I “skimped” on was buying only photo ops and autographs for my two guys, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Norman Reedus.

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Things I Have Been Reading... (March)

March has been absolutely EPIC for amazing fics!  I am thinking I’m gonna have to go back to posting twice a month because this list is becoming a monster BUT I still think you should go read all the stuff.  This month I have limited myself to only 10 recs for each of my fandoms but there were so many more I could have added.  So here you go, this is my much debated and agonized over list of recommendations for March 2017.

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Summary: Dean buys the reader her favorite holiday treat to cheer her up.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,711

Christmas Request by: @feelmyroarrrr

“Supply run, people. What do you guys want?” Dean asks striding fast into the library.

“Bananas, apples, green beans, bread…see if you can find a wok somewhere.” Sam answers instantly.

“A what?!” Dean exclaims looking a little scared.

“It’s a pan.” Sam says sighing.

“Right. I’ll make sure to look for that.” Dean scoffs giving him a funny look.

“What about you, Y/N?”

“Oreos, IBC root beer, frozen pizza and candy canes.” Dean nods relieved like you’re finally speaking in a language he can understand.

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Byun Baekhyun//Joke

Prompt: Lately, your friend Baekyun has been making jokes about you in front of all of your friends, but they’ve started to get pretty personal.
Scenario: Angst, High school AU
Word Count: 1,586 

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Good Girl Ch 45:While They’re Away(M)

The last couple chapters have a lot of jumping through time!

A Month Later

“Stop pouting,” Jiyong flicks me in the head.

I glare and swat at him, “Keep your hands on the wheel.”

He chuckles, “I know you are upset but think about it, only a few more days until they come back.”

“True,” I sigh, “You need to stop being so amazing.”

“What did I do now to make you realize my greatness?”

“You confess to me every Tuesday yet at the same time you stand up for them and constantly reassure me of their love, it can be a bit confusing.”

He nods, “I guess, I do what I know will make you happy.”

“You confessing doesn’t make me happy, it makes me feel guilty.”

“I don’t want to make you feel that way but I’m doing what I know is best for you.”

I scoff at him, “What is best for me?”

“Yes,” He says with a smug smile, “I believe I am best for you.”

“Can we stop talking about this?”

“Of course my love.”

I sigh but say nothing more, I just stare out the window at the trees flying by, only the faint shapes can be made out in the darkness on the other side of the window. We stay silent for a while, the drive feels like it’s taking longer than usual and I know it’s because he’s actually obeying the speed limit for once.

“Who do you miss the most?” He wonders.

“All of them, I miss all of them the same.”

He scoffs, “Don’t pull that bull shit on me, I know there is one you love more.”

I glare at him but can’t deny the sudden lump in my throat, “Tell than if you seem to already know.”

“Xiumin.” I open my mouth to respond but nothing would come out, no excuses or lies, I couldn’t get anything out. Jiyong chuckles and pats my head, “I wasn’t asking you a question, I know. You make it obvious when you see him. If it’s your choice he is who you run to first unless someone else pops up and gets in the way.”

I just stare down at my hands feeling strangely guilty for my feelings. I don’t notice that we were at the house until Jiyong puts the car and park and opens my car door for me. The summer night is chilly so I wrap my arms around myself. The front door busts open to reveal my five youngest daddies and Baekhyun who was left behind so Chen could go on whatever mission the older five had to go on. Sehun basically tackles me to the ground, wrapping himself around me protectively so he takes most of the impact.

“I missed you!” Sehun whines with his have face tucked into my neck.

I chuckle and hug the silly man tight, “I missed you too daddy.”

“I’ll be taking my leave than,” Jiyong gives them a forced smile. “See you next Tuesday.”

“Bye Oppa!” I wave to him as I’m basically dragged inside. I barely see a genuine smile spread across his face as he blows me a kiss. The words I know he’s saying run threw my head, ‘Bye my love’.

“You were gone for way too long!” Baekhyun greets me next with a hug and a kiss.

“I came back earlier than usual,” I snicker. “Jiyong oppa got tired of my pouting and figured being with you guys would make me feel better.”

“And?” Kyungsoo wonders.

I smile, “I feel better.”

“Do you really miss the others that much?” Chanyeol wonders.

“Of course I miss them!”

“Baby you are making me jealous,” Tao pouts coming forward to greet me. “I’m starting to wish I had gone too so you would be constantly worried and thinking about me.”

I laugh, “No you don’t, than I wouldn’t be able to do this,” I go up on my tip toes and give him a peck on the lips.

“True,” His arms wrap around my waist so he can pull me close.

“Don’t get too close,” Chanyeol warns worming his way in between me and the other giant. “As I remember, it isn’t your night tonight.”

“That’s right, it’s me,” Kai buds in.

“I’m not excited for the hyungs to come back,” Sehun whines. “I can barely get your attention with only six of us, I don’t want to go back to having you every two weeks.”

“I know daddy I’m sorry that we won’t be able to spend as much time together,” I peck the youngest on the cheek.

He half heartedly glares at me, “But.”

“But I am excited to have them home. I really missed them. It just feels weird not having them here, like there is something missing, or a few somethings.” An apologetic smile appears on my face briefly.

There is a moment of silence before Kai speaks up, “Are we really not enough for you?” It’s a heavy question that I wasn’t expecting though I can imagine how long they’ve wanted to ask it. I open mouth but no words come out, why can’t I speak today, all of these questions are being thrown at me that I would think I could answer. But now with the six of them staring at me expectantly I can’t find my voice. There is a surprising amount of anger in not just Kai’s eyes but a few others at the amount of time it takes for me to think of an answer. “Would you really not be satisfied with six of us? You need all twelve?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to,” Soo mumbles before turning on his heel walking away, Kai huffs and follows, Tao does the same.

“Stupid kid,” Baekhyun mumbles. “The sooner he realizes that the better.”

“Realizes what?” I wonder once I’m able to swallow the lump in my throat. Guilt is swallowing me up, I should just answered the question instead of letting them make up an answer on their own.

“Nothing baby,” Chanyeol pats me on the head before walking away as well. With the happy welcome party dissipated I excuse myself to wallow alone in my room against Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s whishes and Sehun’s whining but I can tell they feel the same way as Kai even though they won’t admit it out loud. It’s 10:30 when I’m done showering and find myself standing in the middle of my room feeling like an idiot. It’s Kai’s night yet he hasn’t come looking for me, in fact none of them have. I don’t know whether them giving me some space is a good thing or a bad thing. But the fact that no matter how much I usually beg and whine they never give me space they aren’t mad enough that they would have me sleep alone are they?

I feel stupid when tears threaten to fall down my cheeks at such a small thing, but I don’t want to be alone. After being here so long I can’t handle being alone again.  I’m playing with the hem of Luhan’s t-shirt, mindlessly trying to find comfort in the deer man’s clothes, when suddenly my computer starts ringing. Confused I wander over where it is sitting on my bed and answer the Facetime call. There is a brief pause before Suho’s face fills the screen.

“Daddy!” I cry, I’m actually crying tears of joy just from seeing his face, god what a girl I’ve become.

“Hello my precious baby!” He coos into the phone, “I’ve missed seeing your sweet face!”

“I miss you too Daddy, so much! Why have you been gone so long? Why haven’t you been able to call? It’s been two weeks! Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? Are you okay? Is everyone okay? Where are they? Answer me!” I’m a crying mess at this point, fat tears are rolling down my cheeks and I’m sniffling, trying to avoid having snot involved in the picture.

He chuckles, “Baby calm down, please take a deep breath and stop crying, you know I don’t like you crying.” I follow his command and sit down on the bed, taking deep breaths as I do to calm the erratic beating of my heart. After a minute he smiles softly, “Better?”

I nod, “Better, but tell me what is going on, what is going on?”

“I can’t tell you much, or anything really other than that we are still coming home in two days and also that we are all fine. We haven’t been able to call because of where we were staying. Technically we are still supposed to be wary of who we call but I couldn’t help myself, I needed something other than a picture of you.”

“Are you sure you are okay?” I repeat.

“We are all completely fine,” He reassures me, allowing me to let out the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “But what about you baby? I hear there was an issue.”

I sigh, “Yea Kai got mad at me and everyone else kind of followed, Baek, Yeolie, and Sehunnie wouldn’t admit it but I can tell.”

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t think our being gone would cause such a fuss.”

“What are you talking about? Of course I would throw a fit!”

“I’m very happy to hear that. I’m also incurably happy to hear your sweet voice again, you have no idea how much I’ve missed your voice, your face, your needy moans.”

I blush, I actually blush at his words, “Daddy!”

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out,” He is blushing too. “But I should be honest, my call isn’t that innocent. I was wondering if there is any possible way we could break Hyung’s rule just for tonight and we could um, have, um, phone sex?”

My face is crimson now, I’ve never considered having phone sex before but I’ve heard reviews from Jihyo and they were always positive. With lip firmly pinched between my teeth I nod slowly.

A large grin spreads across his face, “Thank god, I don’t know what I would have done if you had said no. I’ve been aching since I got the thought of doing this at dinner.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I admit meekly.

“It’s okay Baby, I’ll talk you threw it. Have you ever touched yourself before?”

I just nod.

“It’s just like that but just imagine it’s me touching you, sliding my hands up your perfect thighs, gripping them a little harder as I go higher.” I set computer aside and with shaky hands follow his orders. My hands travel up my bare legs, my small hands not doing as much as Suho’s but there is still a nice tingle in the pit of my stomach. “I skim the edge of your underwear for only a second before going up to your hips and up your stomach.” For a brief second I consider ignoring his narrative and jumping right into it but he notices the stilling of my hands on the waistline of my panties. “No, no, baby, not yet. Listen to me.”

“But Daddy,” I whine.

“We just got started and you are already whining? And I thought I wouldn’t last long,” He chuckles warmly. “Now baby listen to me. My hands move up a little more to cup your breasts over the t-shirt, you aren’t wearing a bra so just one little swipe of my thumbs over your nipples has them hard basically begging to be played with.  I’m gentle at first, just rubbing and massaging how you like it,” He pauses to moan, want to watch his face contorting with pleasure but I keep my eyes closed so I won’t be embarrassed. I let out a few of my own moans, enjoying my own handy work. “How does it feel baby?” He rasps out.

“It feels so good,” I say threw a few deep breaths. I clench my thighs together to try and ease the aching between them with no luck. I must have been too focused on Suho’s words and my own hands not to notice the door opening an closing. Without my knowledge someone sneaks up under my blanket and decides to take care of the aching for me. I nearly scream when my legs are forced apart but that is quickly covered with a moan when someone licks my clothed core. “Oh my god!”

“What happened?” Suho questions, obviously a bit dazed from his own hands work. “Did you disobey me baby?”

“No,” I whine as whoever is under the covers continues their kitten licks, eventually moving the fabric to the side to reach my soaked core. “Daddy, someone.”

“Don’t worry baby,” Kai peeks up at me from under the covers with a mischievous grin on his face, “It’s just me.”

“Kai?” Suho growls.

“Hey Hyung, aren’t you supposed to be on a black sight? No calling remember?” The younger raises his brow.

“Can’t you see we are in the middle of something?”

“I can but since you are breaking one rule, do you really think you should be breaking another? How would Xiumin hyung react to that?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Suho growls.

“Fine I won’t, but that means you need to hang up,” Kai reaches for the computer to close it but Suho’s complaining stops him.

“Don’t, I’m so fucking close and I just need to get off. Just give me two minutes to just look at her or listen to her.”

Kai sucks on his teeth for a minute, considering his hyung’s begging before grinning, “Okay Hyung I’ll let you have a little something.”


“Yea, you can watch.”

I stare at Kai with wide eyes, “What?”

“Don’t worry about it baby,” Kai kisses me. “Just let me do everything.”

“But, but, daddy Suho-“ I look to the older for help but the red hue of his cheeks tells me he doesn’t have a problem with it. Kai places a few more kisses along my jaw line and down my neck and soon I’m enjoying it too much to complain. He begins rubbing his hard on against me and I actually find myself forgetting that Suho is just watching us. The moment Kai sheds his clothes and pushes himself inside me I forget my own name. Only one word is in my mind, pushing desperately out of my lips, “Daddy.”

Both men let out a deep groan. Kai is hunched over me, his face buried in the crook of my neck, I can’t get myself to look over at Suho but I can hear him heaving. With my eyes closed I can imagine him, hand gripped tightly around his cock, pumping slowly. The thought does more to me than it should, the knot in my tummy suddenly is a lot more tighter than before and I can tell I won’t last much longer. My legs snake around Kai’s waist, pulling the tan man closer, my nails are digging into his backs.

Kai chuckles, “My little kitten has claws.”

“Keep the dirty talking to a minimum, you are ruining my fantasy and I’m close,” Suho growls.

“Did you hear him baby? He says he’s close but I think he’s going to need you to cum for him to finish, should we let Hyung cum?” Kai says with a wicked smirk.

I nod eagerly, “Please!”

“I don’t know,” He suddenly slows his animalistic pace to slow torturing thrusts. “That doesn’t seem too fun.”

Suho groans, “The sooner you let her come the sooner I’ll get out of your hair.”

Kai chuckles, “I guess that’s a good enough reason. Are you ready baby?”

I nod.

He leans back down and quickly begins to pick up his pace, pounding into me like no tomorrow until I moaning out, both men follow quickly after. Kai collapses on top of me for a moment before grinning at the camera.

“Hope you enjoyed,” With that he slammed the computer closed before burrowing his face back into my neck. We lay there for a long time and even though I’m exhasued I can’t get myself to fall asleep because I feel like Kai wants to say something. I make myself wait for him to speak, which feels like forever before he says, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s fine daddy, you got jealous, it happens.”

“Everything makes me jealous now. I can’t even watch you smile at one of them without feeling a prick in my chest.”

I chuckle, “You better get used to it, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“You could pick.”

I freeze at his words, “Pick?”

He shakes his head but continues to hide his face like a child, “No, Nevermind, don’t think about it. Don’t pick.”

“What craziness are you talking about?”

His playful voice comes out in just a whisper, “Please don’t pick.”

“Why are you saying stuff like this?”

I’m surprised to hear a sudden sniffle, “I know you won’t pick me so please don’t pick anyone. I can be jealous just please don’t pick.”