I’m not superstitious, I believe in plenty when there’s reason and evidence to believe. I don’t believe in anything I can’t see. I feel like there’s a fucking axe hanging over my head. I can’t see it, but I believe it.
Summary: After you decided to support England in their fight against the colonies, you sign up to become a spy. After being sent to the colonies to discover Washington’s battle plans, you never thought you would meet a group of four men that would change your life. Who knew you would fall in love along the way?
Time Period: Hamiltime
Warnings: Implied smut, but it is not graphic at all, I mean I feel like no one will pick up on it.
A/N: Hello!! I am finally done writing this part and ready to post it, and guys I am super excited for you to read it! The moment I read the prompt I knew I had to write this. This is part one out of two, so let me know if you would like to be tagged in the next (and final) part. To the user who requested this, I hope this is what you wanted, I’m sorry for the wait, and I hope you all enjoy. Have a fabulous day!!
From a young age you there were two things that you believed would always be true. The first was that England would always be your home. It was the place you grew up and you always thought it would be where you would grow old with your family. The second was that you and your brother would be best friends, never separated.
Unfortunately, the second thought was rudely ripped from you. When the colonies declared war on England, your brother enlisted right away. He wanted to protect his country and his family. Although you begged and pleaded with him to not go, he still departed anyway, but before he left, he promised you that he would return safe and sound.
Weeks later, there had been no word from your brother, and you were extremely worried. However, during that time you kept yourself busy and stayed strong. It wasn’t until a nervous looking, young man stood at your door holding an envelope did you finally break down.
Inside the envelope was a letter from your brother’s commander, stating that your brother had been shot in battle and died honorable. He offered his deepest condolences, but that wouldn’t bring your brother back. From that point forward, you promised yourself that you would as much as possible to support the cause your brother had so valiantly fought for.
At first, you worked with other woman and raised money to send to the troops, but that wasn’t enough. In your mind, you felt like you weren’t doing enough. It wasn’t until your heard some soldiers talking about spies, did you get your inspiration.
You headed to the local enrollment station and told them that you wished to be a British spy. It came as a surprise when they nodded and took you to a back room, to fill out the necessary papers. Not long after, a man in uniform came to give you your instructions.
“On behalf of the King’s army, I want to thank you for your service. However, you do realize the danger you will be in?” he asked you, seriously.
You nodded. “Yes, I do, but I don’t care about the risks I want to do whatever possible to help England win the war. I want to honor my brother.” you explained.
The commander listened to your explanation and when you finished, he began to give you more details.
“You will be sent overseas to the colonies, and once there, you will pose as a nurse in George Washington’s army. It will be your job to gather any and all information on strategies for upcoming battles.”
You nodded to show your understand and curtsied before the man left. From there, you were giving papers that contained your information, a small sum of money to use in the colonies, and a ticket for a ship that was New York bound.
The next day, you stood on the ship and watched England fade into the distance. It was the only home you had ever known, and here you were leaving it all behind. However, you kept reminding yourself that it was for a good reason. You looked up at the sky and prayed that your brother would protect you for what was to come.
When the ship docked in New York, you first took notice of how busy everything was compared to England. After checking into the nurse’s station at General Washington’s army, you walked around trying to find a good place to start your mission.
You stood in the local patriot bar, glancing around nervously. Although you felt prepared, you were scared that you would let your brother down. After just staring off into space for a good few minutes, you shook the negative thoughts from your head and walked around.
All you needed to do was find a soldier who could easily let slip General Washington’s plans. As you glanced around, most men drinking looked solemn and most likely wanted to be left alone. That was when you spotted a group of four men havening a grand time, like the war wasn’t going on. “Perfect.” you thought.
You made your way towards their table and “tripped” in front of them. Their attentions were immediately drawn to helping you. The man closest to you offered
“Mademoiselle, are you alright?” he questioned, his French accent thick.
“Uh…” you muttered, looking into the eyes of the incredibly handsome man in front of you. Quickly, you regained your composure, remembering your cover. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what is a beautiful mademoiselle like yourself doing here?” he asked, feeling the dame pull towards you that you felt towards him.
“Well, I’m a new nurse for General Washington’s army. I was looking to introduce myself, but most men here don’t want to be disturbed.” You explained, not letting yourself slip on your story.
“In that case, please join us, Mademoiselle…” he trailed off, silently asking for your name, as he ignored the looks from his friends.
“(y/n) Smith, and thank you Mr.…” you introduced.
“Oh, je suis désolé. My name is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de La Fayette, Marquis de La Fayette.“ he laughed at your reaction to his long name. “but please call me Lafayette.” He told you as he offered you a seat at his table. “Miss (y/n), these are my friends: Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens, and Hercules Mulligan.” Lafayette pointed to each man as he named them. “Mon amis, this is Miss (y/n) Smith.”
“Miss Smith, you have a very prominent English accent, yet you are working with us rebels?” Alexander asked, looking at you suspiciously along with Hercules.
You could feel your palms becoming sweaty, but you remained cool and collected. “I am from England, but I ran away from home. I didn’t agree with my parent’s views, so I came here to offer my help to the Revolution.” you lied, giving a sad look to make your story more convincing.
The boys looked at you sadly until the one with freckles, John, spoke up. “Well we are glad to have you here.” he exclaimed, merrily.
“Yes, we will be your family, mademoiselle.” Lafayette stated, throwing an arm around your shoulders. You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks.
“We’ll take care of you, as long as you help us when we get wounded.” Hercules chuckled, and Alexander offered you a comforting smile.
A smile graced your face and a warm feeling filled your body. These four men had just met you and they were willing to take you into their makeshift family.
“Snap out of it (y/n).” you thought. “You have a job to do.” You scolded yourself.
The night wore on and you laughed and had a great time with your new friends. It was the most fun you had had since the war started. Eventually, John had drunk a little too much.
On the walk, back to the tents, John stumbled around, a happy drunk. “(y/n), o’ beautiful (y/n), give me a good night kiss?” he pleaded, leaning closer to you, lips puckered.
“Maybe another time, John.” You giggled and pushed him back towards Alexander and Hercules.
The two men wrapped an arm around John to support him. “We should get him back to the tents. “Hercules sighed.
“I’ll finish walking (y/n) back to her tent!” Lafayette exclaimed excitedly, as he linked your arm through his.
You bid Alex and Hercules a goodnight and thanked them for their kindness. A comfortable silence fell between you and Lafayette until you reached the outside of your tent. You turned to face him and smiled while looking into his beautiful eyes.
“May I see you again, (y/n)?” he asked and you felt your heat skip a beat.
“You may, Monsieur.” You smiled and he appreciated the attempts of using his native language.
“How about a good night kiss?” he asked, mocking john.
To his surprise, you stood on your toes and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. You whispered a goodnight and rushing into your tent, leaving behind a dazed Lafayette. That night, you laid in bed, only thinking of the Frenchman who had stolen your heart.
The week that followed, was one of the best of your life, despite being in the middle of a war. You were able to get closer to Lafayette and his friends, but mainly Lafayette. Most of the time you forgot you were supposed to be collecting vital information for the British.
You were give a harsh reminded after your first check-I, when the British officer asked what you had learned, you meekly told him nothing.
“That’s not why you are here!” he yelled. “You’ll have to do better for next time.” He warned and left.
You waited a few minutes and then left so as not to raise suspicion. It seemed like you would have to steer the conversation in a more military direction.
Once you arrived back to camp, Lafayette looked relieved. “Mademoiselle, where have you been?” he inquired.
“Oh, I was just taking a walk.” you lied, nervous he would see straight through you.
“Next time, S'il vous plaît, tell me and I will accompany you. It is not safe for a woman to be walking around alone. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you and I could have prevented it.” he admitted.
“And you’ll never forgive me if you find out where I really was.” you thought bitterly, but responded. “Of course, I’m sorry for worrying you. It’s really sweet.” you told him with a flirty smile.
The next time you and the boys were all together wasn’t for a few days. They were all stressed out, especially Alex, being the General’s Right Hand Man. You were also stressed out between tending to dying soldiers and trying to steal battle plans.
The five of you were sitting in the same bar you met, talking about nothing in particular when you brought up the topic. “When do you think the British will attack again? It’s been quite a while, and I’m getting nervous.” you said, innocently.
“Not sure.” John answered through a mouthful of food and you sighed.
“But don’t worry,” Hercules added. “We’re planning to sneak up on their nearest camp by crossing the Hudson River from the south.” he explained and you smiled internally.
Later on, everyone left leaving and Lafayette alone. You failed to notice the sly smirks that Alex, John, and Hercules gave Lafayette as the walked away.
“(y/n),” he started looking quite nervous, but grabbed your small hand in his larger one. “I understand this may be incredibly forward, but I so enjoy your company. You are so beautiful, and kind, and intelligent,” he complimented, looking into your (y/e/c) eyes like they were the stars in the night sky. “Would, um, would you give me the honor of allowing me to court you?” he finally asked.
You looked at him with the brightest smile, so take aback by his confession. you took his hand and squeezed it before answering. “Of course, Lafayette, I would love that.” you squealed.
He beamed at you and went in to hug you. You, on the other hand, had a very different idea. You placed your hands on his cheeks and kissed him on the lips. It was pure magic, like fireworks were going off in your mind.
When the two of you pulled away for air, you blushed. Neither of you said anything. You just smiled and curled into Lafayette’s side. That is where you stayed the rest of the ight until he walked you back to your tent. Before leaving he gave you a chaste kiss and whispered,
“Bonne nuit, mon amour.”
A few days later, you and Lafayette were going strong as a couple. Of course you had to endure teasing from the boys, but you could manage. It made you happy, something you hadn’t been since before your brother died.
Unfortunately, you had to go into town and report any information you had gathered. This time you remembered to let Lafayette know of your whereabouts.
“Lafayette, I’m heading into town for a walk.” you informed him, poking your head into his tent.
“Alright, mon amour. I shall accompany you.” you stated and stood up.
Instantly, you began to panic. “No! No! Um, I mean, you don’t have to. I know how busy you are.” you collected yourself and smiled sweetly.
“Nonsense. I want to, how you say, taking a stroll with my love.” he stumbled with his accent.
“Okay.” you said meekly, as you let him guide you to town.
When the two of you reached town, you tried to get away from Lafayette, but he wouldn’t let you out of his sight. He even bought you a rose saying, “A beautiful rose for mon belle amour.”
You blushed but mumbled, “Merci.”
It wasn’t until he went to buy a pastry to share with you, were you able to get away. You took the familiar path and waited in the alleyway behind the local church. It wasn’t long before the British officer arrived.
“What did you find out?” he asked coldly.
You swallowed before responding. “Washington is planning to take his troops up the South of the Hudson River to attach the nearest British camp. There will also be troops surrounding the camp, in case you decided to retreat.” you deluged.
“Good, thank you for your service. Report here, next week, same time.” he commanded and you nodded to show your understanding.
Both of you were about to leave when you froze. A very heavy French accent was calling your name. Lafayette was looking for you and his footsteps were fast approaching.
You knew there was no possible way the British officer would be able to live in time. You turned to him quickly. “Hit me! Make it seem like you’re going to attack me.” you whispered hurriedly.
Right as Lafayette rounded the corner where you were, the officer smacked your across the face resulting in a loud SMACK. You cried out in pain.
“Stupid girl!” the officer shouted. That will teach you to not go against an officer of the King.” He raised his hand, and you braced yourself for another blow but it never came.
Lafayette had grabbed the officer’s hand, and was now glaring at him dangerously. “Don’t you dare touch her!” he growled and the officer scampered away.
“Mon amour, are you alright?” he asked, caressing your face gently.
You nodded, slightly shaken by the recent events, despite you ordering them to occur. Lafayette took the time ot pepper your face with kisses, but was mindful of your still stinging cheek.
“Let’s get back to camp.” he whispered, helping you to your feet as you had been knocked down by the force of the blow.
The two of your reached camp and Lafayette kiss your hand farewell once you told him you were going to lay down.
Lafayette smiled at your sleeping form and kissed your forehead before heading out. He made his way to his tent where Alex, John, and Hercules already were.
“Mon amis!” He greeted and took a seat among his friends.
“Been gone a long time with (y/n), eh Lafayette.” John teased, nudging Lafayette in the side.
Lafayette’s face turned red before exhaling. “We went into town and (y/n) had a run-in with a British officer. I simply stayed with her until she fell asleep.”
Alexander and Hercules sparked a look of skepticism that did not go unnoticed by Lafayette. “What is it, mon amis?” he asked looking worried.
“Uh, it’s nothing, Laf.” Hercules states, but Lafayette didn’t buy it.
“Non, non, what is it? Does it have to do with (y/n)?”
“You could say that.” Alexander mumbled, letting out an “ow.” after Hercules jabbed his elbow into Alex’s side.
“You’re making me nervous, please tell me.” Lafayette pleaded.
Alexander sighed and looked at the floor. “Hercules and I don’t think (y/n) is who she says she is.” he admitted.
Lafayette looked shocked at the accusation made by his friend. “You think she’s…” he trailed off.
“We think she’s a British spy!” Deciles said, tired of everyone beating around the bush.
“That’s ridiculous!” Lafayette shouted, not even being able to fathom the idea of you being a spy for England. “I don’t know what evidence you think you have, but I don’t want to hear it!” he shouted.
At this point, you had waken up and went looking for Lafayette. You stood outside his tent, overhearing what he said next.
“I don’t care because I know ether. I trust my heart and I can listen to what it’s telling me. It’s telling me that (y/n) is the one, my soulmate. I love her.” he confessed, glancing around the room at his friends.
“Of course she’s your soulmate, Laf. The two of you are perfect together.” John smiled, trying to diffusion the tension.
You chose this moment to make your presence known. All eyes were on you as you spoke, “Do you really mean that, Lafayette? You love me?”
He turned to look at you, eyes wide. “I, if, yes.” He admitted. “I love you, (y/n).”
Tears welled up in your eyes and you took small steps towards Lafayette. “I love you too.” You confused and a huge grin spread across the Frenchman’s face.
You took the last few steps towards the man you loved. As soon as you were close enough, you wrapped your arms behind his heck before you smashed your lips against his in a mind blowing kiss.
By the time the two of you pulled apart, Alex, John, and Hercules had left, leaving you and Lafayette alone.
You stayed at him with such passion and love, to which he returned the gaze.
Lafayette brought you back into a kiss, this time leading you to his cot. Once the two of you were sitting down, your watched to remove his uniform jacket and shirt, never braking the kiss.
“Wait, wait, (y/n). We have to stop.” Lafayette panted. “This isn’t right, we aren’t married.” he explained.
You shook your head and looked into Lafayette’s eyes. “I don’t care if it’s proper. I love you Gilbert and this is what I want. As long as you do too.” You reasoned, kissing his lips quickly but softly.
“I do too.” he admitted, searching your face to make sure his is what you truly wanted. When he found no signs of discontent, he kissed you heatedly again and laid you down on his cot.
Later that evening, Alex and Hercules were talking amongst themselves.
I know Laf thinks otherwise, but there is something extremely suspicious about (y/n).” Hercules admitted.
“I agree.” Alex said. “She is extremely kind, but she seems to be too in involved in Washington’s strategies. I can only think of one reason as to why that would be.”
Hercules sighed. “Perhaps we should give her the benefit of the doubt and trust Lafayette’s feelings. After all, she does make him happier than he has been in a long time.” he suggested.
Alex didn’t look convinced. “Maybe she is just as passionate about the Revolution as we are. Let’s just give her a bit longer to prove our suspicious wrong.” Hercules explained.
“Okay.” Alex mumbled, not truly convinced. He would give you to the benefit of the doubt until he saw an opportunity to prove otherwise.
When the sun peaked through the tent, you opened your eyes, wrapped in Lafayette’s arms. You smiled and snuggled further into his chest as you felt him tracing patterns on your back.
“Morning, mon amour.” he whispered and pressed a light kiss on your neck.
You shivered. “Good morning.” you turned to face Lafayette, tucking back the curly hair that fell in front of his face. “I love you.” you told him.
“Je t'aime aussi.” he responded, gazing into your (y/e/c) eyes.
After spending a few more minutes enjoying each other’s embrace, you got dressed, ready to face the day. That day, you and Lafayette were together as often as possible. His hand on the small of your back, brushing fingertips, longing gazes. None of these actions went unnoticed by the guys.
This lovey, dovey attitude continued on for the next couple of days. You felt closer to Lafayette than you had ever felt to any one else. You loved it.
Eventually, you came down from your high and remembered you were basically living a double life. You knew you couldn’t keep fooling Lafayette; you had to get out.
You had seen how passionate these men were about the Revolution and you couldn’t hold them accountable for your brother’s death. You had found friends and a family, and true love. You only hoped your brother wouldn’t be disappointed with you wherever he was.
The next time you had to check in with your officer, Lafayette was busy. Although you knew he didn’t approve, you snuck out of town and made your way to the alley behind the church.
Wen the officer approached, you took a deep breath. You knew what you had to do.
“What are Washington’s latest tactics?” he asked gruffly.
“They believe they can win against England, but they aren’t prepared. Meet them at Yorktown and you will active huge success. Then, you can retreat to the Chesapeake Bay where they have abandoned their camps.” you lied and prayed that he wouldn’t be able to tell.
“Thank you for your service, Miss. You are doing a great honor for your country.” he saluted and left you to your thoughts.”
Once you were sure that the British solider had left, you turned around, prepared to head back to General Washington’s camp. What you weren’t prepared for was seething Alexander, standing mere feet from you.
Instantly, a ball of nerves settles in your stomach. “What if Alexander had heard you talking to the officer? What if he went back to camp and told Lafayette?” These thoughts swirled through your mind, until you decided to play the innocent card.
“Alexander, what are you doing here?” you asked him, sweetly.
You knew that that was the wrong route to take, when Alex glared at you even further. Slowly, he took menacing steps towards you, and for every step he took forward, you took one backwards.
“How dare you?” Alexander screamed harshly, as he pointed an accusing finger in your face.
“I know it looks bad, but I can explain. You see-” you began.
“You can explain?!” he mocked. “There is nothing to explain, (y/n), if that even is your name. You are a traitor and that is that.” he yelled.
“Alex, please, listen to me. My name is (y/n), although my last name is actually (y/l/n). Anyway, you have to believe me, I’m not giving away General Washington’s plans. I-I lied to him, to throw the British off.” you hurriedly tried to explain.
“Do you actually expect me to believe that?” he spat. “I can’t believe we trusted, I can’t believe I trusted you. I can’t believe Lafayette trusted you! He loves you! Was that your plan the whole time? Lead him on, get the information you needed, and break his heart when you left?” Alexander questioned, now only inches from your face.
By this point, tears had began to stream down your face. You never expected things to work out like this; it’s not like you wanted to get caught.
There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments. you didn’t dare breath and the tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.
“Leave, (y/n).” Alexander commanded finally, his voice low.
You looked up from the ground and started at the man in front of you, wearing a confused expression. “Wait, what? Y-you-” you stuttered, trying to understand what was going on. If you were to be completely honest, you had thought these would be your last moments, before you would be dragged away to be executed.
“Leave.” he repeated, but this time sounding more dangerous if that was even possible.
“But I thought-” you were interrupted for what felt like the millionth time.
“I should be turning you into to Washington, you traitor.” he spat. “You should be arrested and executed for your crimes, but I’m going to give you one chance to leave. It would kill Lafayette if he knew he had fallen in love with a British spy. It will hurt him to see that you just vanished, but it’s better this way for him. You don’t deserve him, but because he loves you I’m going to give you one chance to get out of this country.” Alexander explained.
“And if I see or hear that you have come back, I swear that you will be tried for your crimes.” he threated. “Do you understand?”
You nodded and quietly. There was a part of you that wanted to stay, to stay for Lafayette. However, you saw Alexander was deadly serious on his threats. You sprinted all the way back to camp where you avoided being seen by your friends. Quickly, you packed a small bag and ran again until you reached the docks.
After waiting in line to buy a ticket, you stood on the dock, waiting for the ship to accept passengers. The tears you had been holding in fell as an officer on the ship took your ticket and let you aboard.
About thirty minutes later, the boat was ready to leave New York and sail off to England. You stayed above deck and watched the shore become a faint outline in the distance. Just a memory of true happiness. A memory you would never be returning to.