i am so enchanted by this show

Violet’s List of Modern Witches

(I am not taking credit for this list, I liked it, but it was not alphaitized, which bothered me, so I alphabatized it)
soothingvioletlight:
Artistic Witch: A witch usually covered in paint from head to toe. They draw, paint, dance, sing, and sew their way through their practice. They enchant their tablet pens and paintbrushes, use storm water for their watercolors, and strike real emotion into their audience.

Astro Witch: A witch who works with aliens. Usually very paranoid individuals, they adore star gazing, always know when the next astronomical event is, and love the documentary TV Show ‘ancient aliens’. They are usually adept at astral travel, astrology and sun magick.

Atheist Witch: A witch who does not use deities in their craft.

Blood Witch: Another branch of Chaos magick, these witches primarily use blood in their rituals. They have a high pain tolerance, care little about what others think or say, and are very set in their ways. Many of them have a history of abuse and self harm. Some do it to prove how strong they are or devotion to their deities. Nonetheless, nice people once you get to know them. Perhaps a bit misunderstood.

Catholic Witch: Catholic witch who usually uses saints and the holy trinity in their practice.

Celtic Witch: A witch that mixes their witchcraft with Druidry. They worship the traditional deities of the Celtic people.

Ceremonial Witch: A combination of ceremonial magic and witchcraft. They focus on rituals and formal casting of magic. With robes and altars and everything. Also called Ritualistic Witchcraft or Traditional Witchcraft.

Chaos Witch: A witch who uses baneful magick in their craft. They will sometimes use demons, storm magick, blood magick, and cursing in their practice. They fear nothing. Commonly mislabeled ‘black’ or ‘dark’ witch. Which is not correct. Tsk tsk.

Christian Witch: A witch that holds Christian beliefs and worships the Holy Trinity. They often use the Bible in their work.


Cottage Witch: A Witch who focuses on hearth magick. Much like the Kitchen witch, but with less emphasis on the cooking. They are the homemakers, the ones who decorate the house for the holidays. Usually empaths who are very sensitive to the people around them.
Crystalline Witch: A branch of Green witchery, these witches primarily work with stones, gems, crystals, and rocks. They LOVE geology, spend a lot of time hiking and collecting crystals. Usually very organized individuals that are in tune with the earth. They always know when the next local rock and mineral show is. Usually broke because they are always buying new rocks. So many rocks. Fucking rocks everywhere omg.
Demonic Witch: These witches work with Demons. They differ from Exorcists in that they actually summon them and get them to go their bidding, rather than casting them out. Can usually hold a grudge a hella long time. Not people to mess with. Stubborn and bull headed.
Draconic Witch: These witches are fearsome. They are knowledgable in all the species of dragons, their personalities and their migration patterns. They usually will have one or more dragon companion from their local area. They are skilled in astral projecting, storm magick and cursing. They love to collect things such as books and crystals.
Eclectic Witch: The Boho witch. She uses a combination or mix of whatever paths suit her best. Typically specializes in 2-4 different sects of the craft. She often will wear a mix-match of clothing, but enjoys long flowing things. She tends to be very random and eccentric, but is friendly nonetheless.
Energy Witch: Witches that perform all of their magic internally. Their magic is one of pure energy, using circles cast in their heads and their imaginations to bring their will to life. Are usually shy and keep to themselves. They enjoy divination and astral projection. Also called Intrinsic Witches.
Exorcist: A branch of Spirit Worker. They are usually hereditary, clairvoyant and raised Christian or Catholic or Judaic. They learn their craft as it is passed down from their family members. They practice the archaic tradition of exorcism, aka banishment of dark or foul entities. Very somber individuals, who try their best to be optimistic.
Fae Witch: These witches are educated on all types of faeries, but usually prefer to work with a certain species or one they are familiar with. They are usually very playful and mischievous individuals, mimicking the creatures they work with. They are very attracted to shiny things and are easily offended.
Green Witch: The woodland witches, these earthy individuals protect plants and love to garden. They usually are adept at spirit communication, hearing and responding to the needs of their many leaf-bearing friends. They thrive in natural environments such as forests, lakes, rivers and gardens. Green witches enjoy sunlight, growing plants and collecting rocks. They focus on holistic medicine and are learned healers. They are very familiar with their local region, having memorized all the species of plants, trees, insects, wildlife and flowers. They truly love the earth.

Hedge Witch: A witch that lives between two worlds. They easily cross over into Elsewhere, the astral realm, and do so with ease. Often skilled at working with magickal creatures and familiars, they are very creative and artistic individuals. They are also very adept at psychometry, spirit communication, energy work, and time travel. Also called Astral Witches.
Hellenic Witch: A witch that observes the traditional Hellenic Greek gods and goddesses.
Hereditary Witch: Someone who is born into a witch family and brought up learning about witchcraft, or folk magic. They take great pride in certain traditional magic passed down through the generations.
Judaic Witch: Jewish witch who practices one of the many sects of Judaism. They are proud of their heritage and many enjoy casting their spells in Hebrew.
Kemetic Witch: A witch that practices traditional Egyptian magick and acknowledges and worships Egyptian deities.
Kitchen Witch:  This type of witch uses easily obtained items and weaves magick into every aspect of their life. They are particularly fond of cooking, arts and crafts, sewing, cleaning, gardening and baking. They are skilled in potions, herbology, and subtle magick.
Kreature Witch: Another branch of Green witchery, mixed with spirit working and hedgecraft, these witches primarily work with Magickal and Astral creatures and spirits. They are very friendly people, and get along with all kinds of physical, and not so physical creatures. They collect fossils and bones and skulls and know the names and personalities of each spirit attached to them.
Lunar Witch: A witch who primarily draws their power from the moon. They adore her and are usually adept at making moon water and knowing exactly what phase of the moon it is at any given time. They do not fear the dark, do much of their magick after the sun goes down, and have the ability to speak with the Lady Luna herself. These witches also may choose (or be chosen by) one of the moons of another planet, such as Miranda or Europa., and will work with that particular celestial body.
Melodic Witch: A branch of Artistic that primarily uses song and musical instruments in their practice. They are very busy people, constantly practicing whatever instrument has currently caught their fancy. They easily make friends with Sirens and Lorelai in their common love of song, and attract Fae and Nymphs alike with the sounds of their voices.
Necromancer: A branch of Chaos magick, these witches take spirit working a step further, and are adept at communicating and controlling the dead. Necromancers usually have a familiar ‘wraith’ that acts much like an astral or spirit guide. Some can even raise the dead for a period of time to converse with them.
Nordic Witch: Witches who worship the deities of the Norse people.
Nymphatic Witch: These cutie pies are usually Hellenistic in their choice of deities, and are well versed in all the species of Nymphs, what they like, and where they live. They usually work with the ones that live in their local area and mirror them in their personalities. They hate wearing clothes, but when they do they prefer pastel colors. They are very whimsical, pleasant people to be around.  
Omni Witch: A bookworm and a know it all, this type of witch studies and practices all the fields of magick. They are innately curious about everything, and love to learn. They are talkative and eager to share the massive amount of knowledge they have absorbed.
Oracle: Branch of Spirit worker. Witches who primarily focus their practice on divination. Tarot, runes, pendulums, spirit boards, scrying, crystal gazing, aeromancy, stichomancy, sea gazing, animal gazing, bird watching, lynchomancy, ceromancy, astrology, numerology, amathomancy, dream interpretation, shufflemancy, tea leaf reading, people watching, palm reading, face reading. You name it, they probably know how to do it. Usually clairvoyant and have a number of other psychic abilities.
Otherkin Witch: A witch who is Otherkin. They relate to an inhuman or an animal in either personality or spirit, or believe they are a reincarnation of such. They behaviors and choice in deities and certain practices in their craft will usually reflect their kind of Kin. An example would be that a Felinekin might like using catnip in their rituals, and might call on Bastet, Sekhmet or Freya in their magick.  
Pop Culture Witch: A branch of Urban witchcraft. Witches that craft their spells based on popular music, movies, books and poetry. They are artistic and very educated and love to laugh. They can also curse the hell out of you. It’s not all Disney movies, folks.
Practical Witch: A branch of kitchen witch, they are adept at spellwork, and use their magick for everyday, mundane things. They adore the use of sigils and put them everywhere. Very down to earth individuals, who enjoy experimenting with ways to use magick to may their daily life easier and more enjoyable.
Satanic Witch: Witches who work with Lucifer. Usually very kind, nonjudgmental people.
Sea Witch: These witches hone their craft near a body of water, and center their practice around it. Some sea witches will work with fresh water, such as rivers or lakes (in which case they will usually call themselves ‘river’ or ‘lake’ witches), some with the ocean. Sea witches without immediate access to a body of water are called ‘land-locked’. They often form connections with fish of all kinds, know their local areas very well, are good at predicting the weather, and are friendly with the nymphs, fae and dragons of their region. They enjoy collecting sand and seashells and are adept at storm and sun magic.
Secular Witch: A witch who does not involve religion in their craft.
Shadow Worker: A combination of energy and hedge magick, the shadow worker tames and summons Shadows of their own past and personality. They regret nothing, are very in tune with their emotions, and spend a lot of time meditating. They are not afraid to confront their mistakes, because accepting the flawed pieces of their personality gives them power.
Solitary Witch: A witch who works in isolation. Usually very independent and stubborn, they take orders from no one.
Spirit Worker: A Witch who communes with the dead spirits of humans, animals, and others entities. Some can even communicate with the spirits of trees, rocks, and man-made items. They are usually very outspoken, opinionated people. They use spirit boards and pendulums, among many other tools. They enjoy taking strolls in graveyards and having casual chats with the dead. Also called Mediums.  
Star Witch: Not to be confused with a Space witch, who works with all of the cosmos, primarily aliens and astrology. Star witches draw their power from constellations, stars, and the sun. They love star gazing, have star charts hanging on the walls of their room, and never miss a meteor shower. Very chipper individuals who always want to go to the planetarium rather than out to see a movie or to the park. They may also work with planets as well as stars.
Stitch Witch: A brand of Kitchen and Cottage witchery that holds magickal fabric work in high regard. They focus primarily on knot and stitch magick. Very scatter-brained individuals. Their room are always in disarray, fabric and thread everywhere. Usually fond of cosplay. LOVE making Halloween costumes for their family and friends.
Storm Witch: This breed of witch is both terrifying and thrilling. They have a great sense of humor, and are usually very cryptic. They give zero fucks what people think of them and march to the beat of their own drum. They whistle up the winds and summon lightning. These witches are usually very adept at cursing and fear nothing. They like horror movies, cloudy weather, and casting emotionally charged spells. They are empathic individuals and always feel things to the extreme, there is no middle ground with them. Its black or white.
Subtle Witch: a witch who cannot be openly witchy due to their family, friends or environment.
Sun Witch: A witch who draws their power more from the sun, than the moon as most witches tend to do. Adept at fire magic and are usually very spirited individuals. They use candles often in their practice, and love to throw barbecues and bonfires with their many friends. They enjoy sunbathing. Their magick comes in giant bursts and they will often use a lot of energy at once.
Swamp Witch: A witch who works in the rivers and bayous of the world. They are adept at spirit communication and are versed in the traditions of their area. They enjoy wandering around their swamps, meeting familiars and befriending creepy crawlies. Their craft is usually a mix of traditional southern witchcraft and Hoodoo. They are very warm, hospitable individuals, but you should NEVER cross a Swamp witch. They are not afraid to curse your ass. These witches favor the healing powers of mud, enjoy mixing potions, reading next to a roaring fire and being with their family.
Tech Witch: A branch of Urban witchcraft, they work with html and other computer codes, have virtual altars to their deities, use old circuit boards as wards, old keypads from cell phones and laptops as spirit boards, and old broken electronic screens for scrying. They typically keep their grimoires as blogs. Very intelligent witches who are always on tumblr.
Theatrical Witch: Branch of Artistic witch. A player. They act and perform in plays to honor their deities, spend countless hours perfecting their lines and adore being dramatic. Very charismatic people who take pride in their work. Persistent. Never take no for an answer.
Urban Witch: City witches who graffiti sigils on abandoned buildings, grow herbs in pots in their apartments and are very technologically savvy. Technomagic is their jam, usually rocking enchanted headphones, weaving spells from their favorite songs and using their cell phones as scrying mirrors.
Vampiric Witch: A witch that either works with or is a vampire. They feed off the energy or emotions of others and use it to power their magick. They tend to be kind of clingy, but they are loyal as fuck and treasure their few friends. They have many secrets, and usually a dark past. They enjoy using blood in magick and are adept at healing and cursing. They are kind of vain, love gothic clothing, jewelry and expensive things.
Wiccan Witch: Started in England by Gerald Gardner in the 1950s in order to preserve the “old ways”, these cuties use rituals and invoke the power of the goddess for their craft. Some believe in the rule of three, wiccan rede, the triple goddess, and so on.
Winter Witch: Witches who reside in the colder climates of the world. They cast snowstorms, collect hail and make poppets from snow. Blizzards are their best friends. They love cold weather, and usually draw their power from the snow and clouds, rather than the sun or the moon, as neither are usually very visible during storms. Despite their chilly disposition, they are warm and friendly once you get to know them.
Witch of the Dance: Branch of Artistic Witch. They use dance in their practice, and are very physically sound. They may practice one on many kinds of dance, or even martial art. And they do so skillfully. They are usually very quiet people, but not at all shy or unsure of themselves. They would rather express their thoughts through movement and body language than actually speaking.
Witch of the Waste: Desert witches who work with sand and limited supplies. Hardy herbs are their best friends and they often use a lot of bone magic. They have an extensive fossil and skull collection and are constantly pouring over old field guilds for their local area. They can whip up sandstorms in the blink of an eye, and befriend scorpions, snakes, and coyotes alike. They are an enduring species of witch, weathering everything the world has to throw at them. Few things dampen their spirits.

tale of the sleeping prince au
(has this been done? of course it has. I AM UNCONCERNED.)
in which yuuri’s mother gives her son a pair of enchanted glasses in order to cure his failing vision
but as a side effect the glasses show him visions of a rather lovely stranger (calling for help?)
so he goes out on an adventure to find the mysterious prince
joined by sidekick fairy minako
and overly friendly adventurer victor who seems very curious about the quest
i forgot yurio and otabek, butts!!

The OA and Odyssee

There are a lot of similarities between The OA and Homers (duh…) Odyssee:

1.Odysseus spent seven years in captivity on Ogygia, the island of Calypso. Prairie was held by Hap for about seven years.

2.Calypso falls deeply in love with Odysseus, even though he has consistently spurned her advances. Hap was in love with Prairie but she hates him.

3. A cyclops traps Odysseus and his men in a cave. He does not dare to kill the Monster because he is the only one who is strong enough to move the rock that traps them there. Prairie can’t kill Hap since he is the only one who has the code to the doors.

4. In order to complete his quest home, Odysseus explains that he must enter the underworld  to speak to the wise man Tisereas.  There he meets the spirits of the dead, notably his mother. He decides that he would rather return to the living, so he has to perform a sacrifice. Prairie meets Khatun again in her 2nd NDE and sees her father. She decides to return to the others and sacrifices the eternal afterlife with her father.

5. Odysseus lies sometimes. He lies about his name and where he’s from etc. to protect himself and others. Prairie lies to Hap, she pretends to be blind. We do not know if she lied about the whole story, but if she did and she acts like Odysseus, she might have her own reasons to do so.

6. Sirens were dangerous creatures, who lured nearby sailors to them with their enchanting music and voices. In The OA Hap hears Prairies Violin playing and finds her, Renata plays the guitar and Rachel sings beautifully. 

If Batmanglij and Marling were really thinking of stuff like this when they created the show i am so impressed….

Did you find any other similarities ?

I was reading the dwemer article on the wiki (again) and I literally forgot in canon kagrenac doesn’t use she/her pronouns

man oh man, now i can’t help but envision a season four of grace & frankie where grace starts hanging out with her undoubtedly fabulous manicurist lisa kudrow after frankie moves to santa fe, because grace is lonely and nobody can replace frankie but it’s better than spending all her time alone and she’s in this unexpected new stage in her life (AGAIN), so she might as well give something new a try, and then she discovers that wouldn’t you know, lisa kudrow is really charming in a non-manicurist capacity

and then frankie winds up missing home (read: grace, and also del taco) too badly and breaks things off with jacob and moves back

only to find out

that grace

has a new lady bestie

… who she is, hold up, DATING (shut up, we all know it could happen. year of grace!)

and frankie’s all, “we agreed that if you were ever going to get physical with another woman, it would be me!”

and grace says, “no, we agreed that if i was ever going to smoke pot, it would be with you”

and frankie’s all, “damn it, you’re right, that other thing was a line from broad city” (you know frankie never misses an episode of broad city)

but frankie, while outwardly enchanted by grace hanson grabbing life by the vulva in such a fabulous and sapphic manner, cannot seem to feel happy about this great news on the inside because the god damn fact of the matter is that lisa kudrow is stealing her wife

i think we can all agree this is an acceptable s4 plot.

anonymous asked:

Is the ask box still opened? If not, then please ignore this ask. I've been wanting to ask if you could maybe write about how Sebastian and Ciel would react if the subject of their attraction rejects them, kind of like they're playing "hard to get"? (I hope this makes sense since I don't really speak English well ^^")

Don’t worry, I understood you very well and I’m not perfect in english either (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑


Sebastian:

  • Sebastian is not used to people rejecting his displays of affection and first of all, he will be very surprised of your attitude. He may start being distant for some time, only to think about it more, observe your actions and how you act around the others and eventually will realize that this isn’t a real hostility toward him. It will be a great relief for him, not only because being ignored like this by the person he truly grew fond of won’t be pleasurable in any way, but also because he won’t believe how is it possible that you are able to not get charmed by him, that narcissus.
  • He will do his best to prove you how great he can be, showing off whenever he has an opportinity to do so, acting all chivalrous around you and if he will sense that your facade is starting to break, even stepping into your personal space in a gentle, ellegant way. He will gladly hand you a book you couldn’t reach from a high shelf (”It is a great pleasure for a mere butler to be a useful help for such an enchanting lady.”) , serve you your favourite dessert even if he will have to attend to the city to buy needed components (”No need to worry, I am here to make your evening the most delightful it could be.”) or to pay innocent compliments that are supposed to make your heart melt.
  • After finally getting your attention, he will act as if nothing ever happened and work around you as the butler, not giving you any bigger hints of interest. It will probably be confusing but it will be just a part of his plan on making you admit that you like him and if you still won’t do this, he may repeat this actions until you will. Sebastian is a patient beast and he loves to play cat and mouse.

Ciel:

  • There is a high chance that Ciel won’t notice this kind of attitude for a long time, assuming that this is simply part of your personality or you really do not want to spend time with him. He is not that clever when it comes to romance as he is with all those investigations, plus, being the gentelman, he won’t want to force you into something you clearly do not want, even if this means getting him even more grumpy than always.
  • That said, after turning a little bit annoyed that somebody he likes doesn’t like him back, he will unintentionally act even more distant or even unkindly toward you. It doesn’t mean that he gave up on you, on the contrary, he just won’t want to have his feelings hurt and being cold seems like the best option. Maybe he could convince himself that you are not as precious as he thinks, but will fail and realize it one night, unable to sleep, thinking what should he do to make you like him.
  • Eventually Ciel will come to the conclusion that acting like a spoiled child won’t bring him victory and will try to slowly show you that he genuinely cares about you. Prepare for a lot of states of deny from his side, long silences and grumpy attitude, all of this sweetened by cute gifts and clumsy wooing.
To a Darkening Sky

It took Kima fifteen seconds to come from sleep into consciousness, five seconds to blink the tiredness from her eyes, and precisely two more to realize that something was wrong.

Not wrong in the usual way, which could almost forgive the appalling slowness of her reflexes (almost). This was not the kind of wrong when she was jolted awake by the sound of screaming and battle, or came to with some beast’s teeth already biting into her flesh. No, this was the sort of thing that filled a quiet and darkened bedroom with its unspoken presence, made known only by labored breathing and the movement a bed made when someone collapsed into sitting because they couldn’t stand any longer.

Rubbing her eyes hard enough to see stars made the darkness recede a bit as Kima sat up and peered down the bed. It didn’t help much, but it was just enough to make out the dim outline of someone sitting on the edge of the bed, head in hands, and ever so gently shaking.

“Allie?” 

Keep reading

The Joker x Reader x Harvey Dent - “Ministry of Villainy and Chaos”

Before they are unleashed upon the world, all villains must pass the final review from the Ministry of Villainy and Chaos. Meetings are held twice a week and there’s no skipping. Tasks are assigned and they all must be completed, otherwise one will never be an awesome “bad guy.”

You are taking care of the two most promising rising stars: The Joker and Harvey Dent. You sure hope they will both pass because they are your personal favorites and man, they will do a lot of good out there! Cross that out: they will do a lot of evil out there. You walk around your office, carefully studying them and finally take a sit on your glass desk.

“Ok, guys, did you come up with a cool nickname for yourselves? J, what have you got?”

“The Jester of Gotham!” he grins, winking at you.

“NO!” you cut him off, playing with your hair. “And stop flirting. Try again.”

“Mister Disaster.”

“That’s even worse than the first one.” He scoffs. “Try harder.”

“The Clown Prince of Crime?”

“You’re not that funny” (J frowns) but I really like this one. You could also use King of Gotham, just a suggestion; it’s not taken yet,” you adjust your eyeglasses, writing down “pass” for the Joker on this week’s assignment.

“I like it, sweetheart,” he licks his lips, winking again.

“Stop flirting I said or I’ll drop you and you’ll have to start all over again!”

“Yes, ma’am,” he playfully agrees, putting his legs up on the marble coffee table in front of him.

“Harvey, did you come up with something?”

“Ummm…Harvey…Dent?”

“That’s your name, senator, you need something else,” you roll your eyes, aggravated. “You’re lucky I like you, you have until next session to find your nickname. I’m on vacation next week so you have time. Next task is to come up with a defining physical look. See you guys when I come back.”

**********************

They are already in the office when you arrive. They both get up to meet you and you gasp in awe, shocked with admiration: Harvey Dent is missing half a face and you stop in front of him, touching the scars as the Joker snarls, unhappy.

“Wow, Harvey, this is awesome! I love it! A+, definitely A+, no doubt about it! Wow,” you mutter again, mesmerized. “Did you do it yourself?”

“Hell, no, I wish I would have come up with the idea; it was done to me,” he admits because he can’t lie.

“I’m so proud of you, I absolutely love it,” you finally detach yourself from his face and go to The Joker, your eyes getting big when you finally notice the details in his change. “Oh, my God, this is…this is unbelievable!” you caress his soft, now very pale face, and he purrs, excited. “A+ also, incredible! Goes well with your tattoos and green hair, genius strike! It makes your blue eyes stand out.”

“Did you hear that Dent? I’m a genius,” J boasts towards his adversary who gives him a dirty look.

“Did you do it yourself?” you inquire, tracing his jaw line with your finger, smitten without realizing it.

“Nope, it was done to me also; Ace Chemicals, I was pushed in a vat against my will.”

“Awww,” you tilt your head, pouting. “But it all worked out, right? Both pass, amazing work!”

“I’m glad you like it, honey,” J snarls, pecking your wrist since your hand is still on his face.

“Stop flirting,” you admonish him, letting go and grabbing your papers, writing down comments on the amazing transformation they pulled off. “Harvey, did you find a nick name?” you lift your eyes for a second.

“Two Face,” he cracks his shoulders, proud of the finding.

“Sooo damn appropriate! Pass, senator!” you giggle, excited your two favorites are doing so great. “Next time I see you guys you gotta kidnap someone important for me.”

**********************

You enter the first sound proof room with The Joker and Dent.

“Ahhhh,” you squeal like a school girl when you see who Harvey got. “The newly promoted Commissar Gordon! Oh, Senator, you knew he’s my favorite?!”

“Of course, Miss Y/N, I wanted to pass this damn task,” he smiles, flipping his coin.

“Hello, Gordon,” you go in front of his chair where he is tight up with a gag in his mouth. “Oh, don’t worry, nobody’s going to hurt you under my watch. You’re my personal good guy favorite, so incorruptible. We need people like you to make it fun for us,” you kick his chair, amused and delighted in the same time. “I heard the wife is pregnant, what are you having, boy or girl?” He mumbles something, struggling to escape. “Stop it, Mr. G, we’ll let you go shortly. I’ll send flowers when the happy event occurs; I hope the boys won’t put any explosives in there,” you crinkle your nose, praying for the best for his sake.

You step up in the hallway to go to J’s room. “Oh, you so pass on this one, Harvey! God, I love Gordon,” you sigh, opening the door and find yourself in front of something strange.

“Who is this, J ??!!”

You point towards the dude strapped on the chair with the weird outfit on.

“This, my lovely…”

“Stop flirting,“ you interrupt and he rolls his eyes, continuing: “…is the new guy they are talking about all over the news, Gotham’s vigilante, The Batman.”

“Really?” you go and sit in Batsy’s lap, staring at his mask. “Oh, honey, please stop wearing spandex if you want us to take you seriously, OK?” you tilt your head, taking a deep breath. “I think you have potential, just find a new outfit, something…amazing. I would love to see you wearing something cool, it sure feels like you work out,” you squeeze his biceps, quite impressed. He mutters with his gag on and you kiss his cheek, getting up. “Don’t worry, we’ll let you go here shortly. Great job, J, also pass. Hey, no!” you slap the Joker’s hand when he tries to take off Batsy’s mask. “You know the rule, we don’t do that here. You can do it after you’re out there on your own and you catch him again, OK?”

“Ok, baby, “ he roars your way and you shake your head.

“Stop flirting I said, do you really want me to drop you?!”

“No, sir…ma’am, “ he chuckles, opening the door for you.

You walk in front of them towards your office again.

“Next week’s task is to find your own distinctive style you guys. Good luck!”

****************************
“OK, Harvey, what are you going for?” you sniffle as you watch him getting up from his seat, wearing a very nice suit.

“I am going for the classic, elegant style,” he proudly states, turning around so you can observe better.

“Nice, senator, nice! We need someone with elegance and charm out there,” you agree, marking “pass” in his papers and he sits down, lifting his eyebrows towards his opponent, full of himself.

The Joker grinds his silver teeth, unimpressed.

“J, what are you going for?”

“Gangster style,” he widely smirks, getting up now and slowly turning around so you can notice everything.

“We didn’t have any good gangsters lately. Are you going to button your shirt?”

“Highly doubt it, people need to see my awesome physique, I don’t work out like crazy for nothing.”

“Hmmm, I like the gold chains, are they heavy?”

“Not too bad, wanna feel them for yourself, Doll?” and without waiting for an answer he grabs you hand and places it on his chains, then slowly moves it down on his abs, giving you that devilish Casanova look you kind of like on him.

“E-hem,” you fakely cough, enjoying feeling his soft skin.“ Stop flirting!” and you take your hand away, not before you unconsciously trace his JOKER tattoo for a few more seconds.

“Yes, ma’am,” he winks, happy to see the disapproving glare Dent gives him.

“E-hem,” you cough again, taking notes. “For next time you have to blow up something important. Both pass, by the way.”

**************************

“Senator, what did you blow up?”

“Gotham’s police station!”

“Jesus, was Gordon inside?!” you jump from your desk, scared.

“No, no, of course not, I made sure he wasn’t.”
“Oh, thank God,” you exhale in relief. “I really like that dude, too bad he’s on the wrong side. Pass, senator,” you scribble on his chart.

“ J?”

“I blew up The Wayne Mansion.”

“Huh?! Why? How is that important?” you ask, debating if he should pass on this one or not.

“Bruce Wayne is a narcissistic, rich prick and for some reason he gets on my nerves. Wealthy bastards need to know we are after their fortune, Gotham doesn’t belong to them. No one is safe,” he concludes his presentation, surprised you didn’t get it.

“Well, that makes sense, I guess, “ you narrow your eyes, thinking. “Pass. Next week you have to show me some smooth moves on your seduction skills. You will sometimes need them to ensure your success.”

You can’t help but notice the smug look on both their faces.

***************************

“Harvey, you first.”

He gets up, comes over and kisses your hand, not breaking eye contact with you.

“Enchante, Miss Y/N,” and he kisses your hand again.

“Wow, Mister Dent, you are so charming and I am crazy about French! Pass!” you declare, not wanting to let go. “So smooth, just lovely, magnificent job!” you keep on praising him to The Joker’s dismay.

“J, what have you got?”

He mumbles something not very nice towards the senator, comes in front of you and starts purring.

“You want Daddy to give you something you’ll never forget?” he pulls down on your bottom lip with his thumb. “Daddy knows how to make you happy, you naughty girl,” he brings his face closer to yours and you gulp.

“Ummm, what e-exactly are you going for?” you stammer for a second, trying to control yourself. Jeez, he got intense.

“Seductive gangsta style, you like it, Kitten?” he bites his lips, staring at yours.
“Yes, pass!” you yank your head away and go sit at your desk, trying to gain composure before they both notice how flustered you are.

“Oh, goody,” he snickers, confident on his skills now. He stretches in front of Harvey on purpose. “I’m soooo good.”

Harvey gives him the finger and J groans towards him, annoyed.

“OK, gentlemen, next time I see you I will just have to sign your certificates and you will be ready to get out there and start mayhem.”

*****************************

You and The Joker got there first and now he’s holding you in his arms, his hands all over you..

“Last night was great, Princess, am I going to see you again tonight?”

“Maybe…” you giggle, kissing him.

“Daddy would love to…”  

You notice Harvey coming in and you take a step back, slapping J as hard as you can: “Stop flirting or I’ll drop you!”

“What the…?” he moves his jaw sideways, surprised.

“Serves you right!” Harvey starts laughing and The Joker realizes why you did it.

“Yeah, I’m a flirt, can’t help it,” he grunts, rubbing his cheek.

You try to make it short because you feel uncomfortable you almost got busted.

“Here are your signed certificates, congratulations to both, now go out there and make us proud!”

“Thank you, Miss Y/N, “ Dent comes and kisses you hand again, ready to turn Gotham upside down and then he exits your office, not before he “accidentally” bumps into The Joker:

“Excuse me, sir,” he huffs.

“You’re excused,” J mumbles, irritated.

“Here’s your certificate,” you hand it over to him to distract him from his murderous intent towards Harvey and he immediately looks excited.

“Listen, Doll, I need a Queen, it’s an emergency, I wanna start shit tonight. Can’t show my face out there alone with just my men. It would be inappropriate for The King Of Gotham and I don’t have time to search around.  Are you interested?” he gropes you, yanking you in his arms again.

“What do you have to offer?” you whisper, getting lost in his blue eyes.

“What I offered last night,” he kisses you roughly , “and everything else you want, sky’s the limit.”

“Well, if it’s an emergency…” you pretend to debate, “ I guess I have to help.”


Also read- MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

anonymous asked:

A&E didn't say anything about Jennifer like they did about the rest of the actors leaving. Also Jennifer did say that "creatively and personally" she had to move on. Did something happen between her and the showrunners?

A&E did say something about JMo, but they released a statement after her statement, so it got a little lost in the noise of JMo’s statement + Renewal speculation + JMo’s exit interviews. Here it is:

Executive producers Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis released a joint statement on Morrison’s exit, which provides a bit of hope about the future: “The past six years of collaborating with Jennifer as Emma Swan have been truly magical. Watching her breathe life into Emma, she accomplished more than we could have dreamed possible — she gave life to a brand-new Disney Princess, filled with strength and intelligence and an incredible closet full of red leather jackets. We’ll miss seeing her every day, but her imprint upon Once Upon a Time is indelible. She will always be a part of the show and its heart and soul. That said, just because Jennifer won’t be back every week doesn’t mean we won’t see our savior again.”

But let’s read between the lines a bit because I don’t know Hollywood, but I speak PR:

  1. “The past six years collaborating with Jennifer”– Don’t like where her character went? The Dark Swan arc? Bizarro makeup and costume? Partially JMo’s fault– we did everything we could to work with her.
  2. “Watching her breathe life into Emma”– The actress didn’t create the character, WE did. If Emma is iconic it’s ‘cause we wrote her that way.
  3. “She gave life to a brand-new Disney Princess”– We add value to Disney and are important for brand synergy and are team players please don’t cancel S7.
  4. “Filled with … an incredible closet full of red leather jackets”– We don’t like the Little House on the Prairie couture either.
  5. “We’ll miss seeing her every day …” – We’re free at last, hallelujah!
  6. “She will always be a part of the show”– In re-runs. 
  7. “Just because Jennifer won’t be back every week doesn’t mean we won’t see our savior again.”– If she never returns that’s on her for being difficult, we’re keeping the door open.

And for fairness, let’s unpack JMo’s infamous Instagram statement:

As I reached the end of my 6 year contract on ONCE UPON A TIME, I was faced with a significant decision. ABC, Eddy Kitsis, and Adam Horowitz very generously invited me to continue as a series regular. After very careful consideration, I have decided that creatively and personally, it is time for me to move on. Emma Swan is one my favorite characters that I have ever played. My 6 years on ONCE UPON A TIME has changed my life in the most beautiful ways. I am absolutely blown away by the passion and commitment of the Oncer fans. I am so honored to have been a central part of such a special show. I will be forever grateful to Adam, Eddy, and ABC for giving me the gift of playing Emma Swan. As I move on to other creative endeavors, I will continue to attend the fan conventions whenever my professional schedule allows. I always look forward meeting the fans. If ABC Network does in fact order a season 7, I have agreed to appear in one episode, and I will most certainly continue to watch ONCE UPON A TIME. The creativity of the show runners has always inspired me, and I cannot wait to see the ways that they continue to develop and reinvent the show.

Translation:

  1. “As I reached the end of my 6 year contract”– As I saw the prison gates open, I decided to flee.
  2. “… very generously invited me to continue as a series regular.”– They want me but they can’t have me ‘cause they’re stingy bitches.
  3. “I have decided that creative and personally, it is time for me to move on.” –Fuck you, your show, and the enchanted horse you rode in on.
  4. “Emma Swan is one of my favorite characters that I have ever played.”– She’s one entry in my CV; I’ve been on other shows before and I’ll be on other shows again.
  5. “My 6 years on OUAT has changed my life in the most beautiful ways.” – Thanks for the mansions.
  6. “I am absolutely blown away by the passion and commitment of the Oncer fans.” –But y’all are crazy.
  7. “I am so honored to have been a central part of such a special show.” –As the lead, I helped MAKE it special.
  8. “I will be forever grateful to Adam, Eddy, and ABC . . “– Of course I’m easy to work with– look, I put “grateful” right there in the statement. 
  9. “As I move on to other creative endeavors”– SEE YA, SUCKERS!
  10. “ …I will continue to attend the fan conventions whenever my professional schedule allows.” –Oh look, my calendar says “BUSY FOREVER.” Oops.
  11. “I always look forward to meeting the fans.” –Have I mentioned y’all are crazy?
  12. “If ABC Network does in fact order a season 7″– They’re even crazier than the fans.
  13. “I have agreed to appear in one episode.” –I’m never coming back and I’m taking Emma with me.
  14. “ …and I will most certainly continue to watch OUAT.”– There’s not enough alcohol in the WORLD to make this happen.
  15. “The creativity of the show runners has always inspired me”– Can you believe the wacky shit I had to try and sell for 6 years?
  16. “ … and I cannot wait to see the ways that they continue to develop and reinvent the show.” –I can’t wait to hear about the garbage fire this show will be without me.

Disclaimer: Obviously I took a lot of creative license with my interpretations of these statements and do not actually speak for anyone involved. 

Fun Home Lyrics Written Great Comet Style

As the sunlight hits the parlor wall, I cry,
“But when the sunlight hits the parlor wall at certain times of day, I see how fine this house could be, I see it so damn clear” and I can see how fine this house could be, I see it so damn clear.

The stress of my family is too much, and I retreat into the bright world of 1970’s variety shows. We all dance and I am enchanted. But then the sour grip of reality strangles me.

The old school butch walks through the door and I gasp. She is the most beautiful woman I ever saw…No, handsome. A ring of keys hang from her pants. I am gay now.

I suddenly realize how little my life amounts to and, overcome with sadness, I list things: lunches, car rides, shirts and socks, grades and pianos. My daughter watches, too young to understand my regret. She is a lesbian.

Your Heart Is Your Own.

Request from @forsytheserpents: hi! Do you still take requests? Think you can write an Gideon x reader fic where the reader is Emma’s sister and that Emma figures out that Gideon is in love with her sister and tries to set them up at Granny’s? Thanks!

Note: I have decided that I really like writing for Gideon so bring on more requests my wonderful followers! <3

Gideon x Reader

Words: 1,795

Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine so all credit goes to their creators <3

Your beautiful [e/c] eyes were invading his every thought and he wasn’t even safe when he was asleep either. If anything his dreams only magnified the feelings he had developed for you. Feelings that he knew, deep down, would never be reciprocated. As he stood inside the clock tower, the one place that had always been like a sanctuary to him when the Black Fairy had taken his heart, Gideon let out a sigh laced with defeat.

When he had come here love was the last thing on his mind, thanks to the woman who had stolen him away from his parents the only thing he was focused on was killing the saviour and anyone who got in his way in the process…..and yet now he had his heart back he found himself unable to think of anything but you.

“You know…if you stare at that clock long enough you might end up actually turning into it.”

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How I met Ghost in Vienna

What a magic day that was! I was the first to enter the arena, and decided to go between Papa and Fire. I had a great view of the whole stage from there. The show was amazing! I think they needed a few shows together to oil the new machine, which is understandable. I haven’t noticed any mistakes while they were playing. New Ghouls have fantastic energy and it was delighting seeing their interaction with the crowd, and between themselves. They were running, jumping, and dancing all the time, I had a hard time figuring out where should I look first. The show was so enchanting, that I even forgot to headbang, which is what I usually do. Fire was on fire (no pun intended), and I am so glad I decided to be in front of him. He interacted many times with us, waving, applauding, sending kisses etc. Papa was on top of his game as always, he is really fantastic showman, with a lot of charisma. My only complaint is that the show lasted only and hour and a half, I think they could add a few more songs (especially from Opus!) to the set, to make it at least an hour and forty five. But I guess with such a big tour schedule something had to give.

After the show, there were around 20-30 people waiting for them, near the tour bus. Aether came out first, smiling with a beer in his hand. He recognized me, and even asked for my name when he signed my albums. I complimented his moves and energy on stage, and he responded with thank you, and said: It’s because we are so young. :’D After him Earth came out, he was very shy and nervous, I think that was the first time he came out to greet the fans, and I was so happy he did! He thanked everyone for coming to the show, and for for waiting for them. He seemed over the moon by the fan reaction he even signed my album twice. :D Fire came out after him, he also remembered me, and said with the laugh that he was more professional than the other guys because he has his sharpie to sign things. Many people complimented his moves, and he asked us did we like his dancing in which we all said yes, and I pointed out especially during Secular Haze. :D Papa came out last, and people immediately swarmed all around him. There was one guy from the crew who was standing hear him, and was always watching his clock, I guess they had some time before they needed to go, since the next show was tomorrow, and wasn’t really near (Warsaw). Papa gave hugs to almost everyone (guys included!), had a friendly chat with most of the people, and was really considerate and polite. My sharpie (which worked perfectly fine up to that point) didn’t work when he tried to sign my booklet, and after a couple of retries, he asked me if the signature looked good enough, or I wanted another one, which was really nice of him. He remembered me from the show, and thanked me for coming. I was the last one talking to him so I didn’t want to hold him for too long. When we finished talking he asked if everyone got autographs and if anyone wants to ask him something more, and since everyone was happy he thanked us and left, saying: Get warmed up, and get laid! Papa style. :D

anonymous asked:

i'm feeling nostalgic lately so do you have any headcanons about merthur? ❤ (feel free to ignore this since you have a Seb blog now but anyway would be nice to know what you think 💓)

Ahhhh, what a throwback. Can you believe it’s 4 and a half years since that ended.

- Arthur was so used to people doing what he wanted that he mistook Merlin’s complete disregard for his authority as Merlin trying to flirt with him.
- Merlin wasn’t trying to flirt with him but after Arthur was like “How is your knee walking coming along” he presumed Arthur was definitely trying to flirt with him.
- Arthur wasn’t, but they existed in this circle of thinking the other for weeks until they realised “okay actually maybe i am possibly flirting a little bit”
- Arthur knew about Merlin’s magic. I know the show played like he didn’t but I don’t buy it, Arthur knew. He’d get Merlin to cast enchantments and spells like the one where he conjured butterflies because he loved watching what Merlin could do.
- They’d go back to visit Merlin’s mother regularly under the guise of going to collect herbs or something for Gaius, or some sort of mission that Arthur needed to complete. Just so that Uther wouldn’t ask too many questions about where they kept riding off to together.
- Gwaine knew about them and would rib them both for it but he was so cheeky and charming that even Arthur wouldn’t get mad at him.

natasha, pierre, & the great comet of 1812 lyrics sentence starters.

act 1  //  act 2.

  • ❝  there’s a war going on out there somewhere.  ❞
  • ❝  ____ isn’t here.  ❞
  • ❝  this is all in your program, you are at the opera.  ❞
  • ❝  chandeliers and caviar; the war can’t touch us here.  ❞
  • ❝  it’s dawned on me suddenly and for no obvious reason that i can’t go on living as i am.  ❞
  • ❝  i used to be better.  ❞
  • ❝  i drink too much.  ❞
  • ❝  i never thought that i’d end up like this. i used to be better.  ❞
  • ❝  and the women, they all pity me, ‘cuz i’m married but not in love.  ❞
  • ❝  you empty and stupid contented fellows, satisfied with your place! i’m different from you, i’m different from you, i still want to do something!  ❞
  • ❝  or do you struggle too? i pity you, i pity me, i pity you.  ❞
  • ❝  how beautiful you looked in the snow.  ❞
  • ❝  i love you, trust no one but you.  ❞
  • ❝  he’ll be the family’s saving grace.  ❞
  • ❝  but it’s not nice to enter a family against a father’s will. one wants to do it peacefully and lovingly.  ❞
  • ❝  i’ve aged, i’ve aged so very much.  ❞
  • ❝  all my friends are dead.  ❞
  • ❝  time is moving, it’s now or never! my fate is slipping past me.  ❞
  • ❝  i’ve abandoned the hope of getting married.  ❞
  • ❝  it’s my money and i’ll throw it where i want.  ❞
  • ❝  i disgust myself.  ❞
  • ❝  i know they’ll like me — they can’t help but like me — everyone has always liked me! there is no reason for them not to like me.  ❞
  • ❝  from the first glance i do not like ____.  ❞
  • ❝  i am not afraid of anyone!  ❞
  • ❝  is that the truth? i think it is not convenient to speak of that now.  ❞
  • ❝  what have i said, what have i done?  ❞
  • ❝  first time i heard your voice, moonlight burst into the room — and i saw your eyes, and i saw your smile, and the world opened wide.  ❞
  • ❝  you are so good for me.  ❞
  • ❝  i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you!  ❞
  • ❝  i’ll never be this happy again.  ❞
  • ❝  we’ve done this all before — we were angels once, don’t you remember? joy and life inside our souls, and nobody knows, just you and me. it’s our secret.  ❞
  • ❝  i’ve never felt like this before.  ❞
  • ❝  they’re looking at me, they’re talking about me — they all like me so much.  ❞
  • ❝  so beautiful, what a charming young girl! so enchanting.  ❞
  • ❝  there’s a woman one should stay far away from.  ❞
  • ❝  oh, i’d tickle you all if i could!  ❞
  • ❝  he moved with a swagger which would have been ridiculous had he not been so good - looking.  ❞
  • ❝  no one else is here, no one else can see us.  ❞
  • ❝  smile at me, gaze straight into my eyes.  ❞
  • ❝  everything is dark, obscure, and terrible!  ❞
  • ❝  drink with me, my love, for there’s fire in the sky, and there’s ice on the ground; either way, my soul will die.  ❞
  • ❝  keep drinking, old man. drink the whole night through.  ❞
  • ❝  all i care for is gaiety and women and there’s no dishonor in that!  ❞
  • ❝  god, to think i married a man like you.  ❞
  • ❝  here’s to the health of married women and their lovers!  ❞
  • ❝  how dare you touch her?  ❞
  • ❝  you can’t love her!  ❞
  • ❝  oh, a duel! yes, this is what i like,  ❞
  • ❝  just show me where to go and tell me when to shoot.  ❞
  • ❝  you are a fool.  ❞
  • ❝  he will never come, or something will happen to me before he does.  ❞
  • ❝  i suffer more now than before.  ❞
  • ❝  am i guilty?  ❞
  • ❝  oh, how she blushes, my pretty!  ❞
  • ❝  you are such a lovely thing, oh where have you been?  ❞
  • ❝  a woman with a dress is a frightening and powerful thing.  ❞
  • ❝  i am seized by feelings of vanity and fear, there is no barrier between us.  ❞
  • ❝  i don’t know good from bad. i’m so frightened.  ❞
  • ❝  you are enchanting.  ❞
  • ❝  don’t say such things. i am betrothed, i love another.  ❞
  • ❝  don’t speak to me of that when i tell you that i am madly, madly in love with you!  ❞
  • ❝  is it possible that i should never see you again?  ❞
  • ❝  but i love you — of that there is no doubt. how else could all this have happened? how else could we have kissed?  ❞
  • ❝  i will love you, ____. i’ll do anything for you.  ❞
  • ❝  i’ll do anything for you.  ❞
  • Psychic: *Reads my mind*
  • My mind: I was a girl in the village doing alright
  • Then I became a princess overnight
  • Now I gotta figure out how to do it right
  • So much to learn and see
  • Up in the castle with my new family
  • In a school that's just for royalty
  • A whole enchanted world is waiting for me
  • I'm so excited to be Sofia the first
  • I'm finding out what being royal's all about Sofia the first
  • Making my way it's an adventure everyday Sofia
  • It's gonna be my time Sofia
  • To show them all that I am Sofia the first!
  • Psychic: What the fuck
2

Gilmore Magic!

I am starting to delve into pop culture related magic. My favorite show is Gilmore Girls. I’ve watched the seasons countless times and see a little bit of Lorelai and Rory in me every day.

Yellow Daisies: yellow daises are seen as a sun symbol from their shape and color. In mythology, Vertumnus (the Roman god of the seasons, agriculture and gardens) became utterly enchanted by the dainty nymph, Belides. Vertumnus was so infatuated with Belides he became obsessed, and would not stop bothering Belides with his unwanted affections. Being the sweet nymph she was, Belides transformed herself into a field of daisies rather than hurt Vertumnus’ feelings. In Norse culture, daises are the sacred symbol to Freya and is a symbol of love, sensuality, and fertility. In astrology, the daisy corresponds to the sign of Taurus. This astrological sign cycles through the year around April 20 to May 20th, and that makes sense daisies pop up from the Earth around that time. Taurus attributes are synonymous with symbolic meaning of daisy, such as traits like family, persistence, and appreciation. Daisies are commonly used magically for lust and luck, an herb of protection, and to honor and invoke Freya. Witches today grow daisies to attract Fae and use them on altars to celebrate Midsummer’s Eve. Daisies are also commonly used in baby blessings and used to decorate the cradle or in a child’s room to bring protection.

bytjie5678  asked:

Hi! Could you make a Phantom of the Opera AU maybe?

*has to make a small confession I have never seen Phantom of the Opera so this is best I can summarize*

Phantom of the Opera, On Ice!

Phichit coordinates an ice show for skaters to perform The Phantom of the Opera on ice! He’s also the one that makes Yuuri’s costume and does his make-up. 

Yuuri is cast into the role of The Phantom. Viktor is cast into the role of Christine. Chris is cast into the role of Christine’s childhood friend Raoul. Everyone else fits into all the remainder roles.

“W-Why am I The Phantom, Phichit?” Yuuri asked as Phichit adjusts the mask on his face.

“Because you look so mysterious and enchanting Yuuri! Trust me, now go catch the heart of your Christine!” Phichit pushes him forward.

When Viktor sees Yuuri in his Phantom costume for the first time, “I think I’m in love again.”

Send in an AU and I’ll write a quick summary or dialogue based on that AU.

I am actually looking forward to seeing some of our favorite actors and characters in new scenarios. While I’ll of course miss the cast that left, it’s still a good show with some good writing and I’m all about supporting these people that I have loved from the beginning.

Also, people shouldn’t be so upset about the show because that is why fan fiction was created. And there are some amazing stories out there (especially for Captain Swan fans such as myself). We will keep this ship (and all other ships alive).

For anyone who follows any of my stories, I am playing with 2 new Captain Swan ideas. One is AU no magic and the other is AU in the enchanted forest. I can’t wait to get started and continue cherishing these characters that I know and love and reading my fellow writers’ works as well xx

Let’s spread some love ❤️💛💚💙💜

Songbird: Ahkmenrah x Reader

As requested by rubyrose26jpworld: “Can you do where the reader is an famous singer and she’s the daughter of Larry Daley. She wanted to surprise her dad without letting him know at night. She later met Ahkmenrah and saw strange things happening in there. Also, make Ahkmenrah feel so shy around her because he thinks she’s beautiful.”

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