i am so done with this man and his perfection

anonymous asked:

Hii, I've never seen this request, but this is an important step in a relationship, can you do a RFA reaction to the first MC's fart ? Thank youu

i love you 



Yoosung:

  • Playing games with Yoosung is always such a fun time, curled up together in his room, wasting away hours and hours with your bbe
  • You feel a fart coming on, and you’re like ya ok chill I can feel this one it’s the quiet type
  • So ever so slowly you unclench your butthole, focusing on the game in front of you
  • Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeephbt
  • what was that?
  • oh, just the sound of gas leaving your body
  • you’re pretty sure that your soul just left too
  • You bite your lip and keep playing, wishing Yoosung to not have heard it
  • but you bet he did
  • Yoosung excuses himself from the room, but you can’t make out his expression because it’s too dark
  • Did Yoosung just leave because of me?  Did I gross him out? Is he going to break up with me?
  • You follow him out, searching frantically for him
  • it takes almost ten minutes for you to find Yoosung in the kitchen, having a mental breakdown on the floor
  • ‘Y-Yoosung, ah! I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have I’m sorry!”
  • Yoosung looks back at you, tears streaming down his face, “N-No MC I’m the one who’s sorry - I just,” the takes a deep breath and scrunches his face, “I just…I just never knew farts could be so damn cute?!”
  • o_o


Zen:

  • Zen’s been going on and on about how amazing you are
  • how you’re so lovely
  • so gentle
  • so inhumanely perfect 
  • and you’re 100% done with his bullcrap
  • Zen look at me I am human I sweat and pee and do humanely things
  • one day, you guys are watching a movie, some cliche flick about a man finding a fallen angel or something and them falling in love
  • Zen turns his head to you dramatically, comparing you to the angel, all like “See that’s you, a creature of the sky who came all the way here for me…”’
  • “Creature of the sky” my ass
  • you stare him dead in the eyes and just 
  • let one rip
  • it makes the whole couch vibrate like a magnitude 5.5
  • “Earthquake!” Zen cries, leaping into the air
  • “Zen!” you call out as he runs out of the room, “that was a fart.”
  • “It’s an-!” his head peers out from around the corner. “What?”
  • “I uh, farted.”
  • You can almost see the cogs in Zen’s head turning as he tries to come up with a suitable reaction
  • “…oh?”
  • “Well,” you pout, “You’re always describing me as some sort of inhuman thing…so I thought I should do something human to disprove your idea of me.”
  • Zen adopts his Theatrical Voice and swoons at you
  • “But my princess, even your flatulence is otherworldly! It sounds like the trumpets from heaven, signaling your descent-”
  • “ZEN!”
  • your farts sound like the trumpets of heaven 10/10


Jaehee:

  • After a long day of work, you’re closing up shop, washing counters and turning off lights
  • You hum to yourself, scrubbing away at a coffee stain, Jaehee doing something else in the kitchen
  • You let out a fart, not quite demure but not obnoxiously loud, glad that it doesn’t smell
  • You hear a soft giggle from behind, and you whip around, Jaehee smiling at you from behind the cash register
  • Fuck I thought she was in the kitchen?
  • Jaehee laughs again and says,” MC, please don’t be shy, if anything…it’s rather..endearing? It’s nice to know that your body is working, doing it’s own thing right here, beside me, so please,”  she tilts her head to the side, “never feel the need to restrain yourself around me. 
  • She is the best wifeu supportive to the max and will never judge you for any of you normal bodily functions
  • Jaehee’s always happy that you’re around, that you’re alive, that she can love you just the way you are

Jumin:

  • You’re having a formal dinner with Jumin’s father, and everything is dandy
  • the food is nice, the atmosphere is nice, you know you’re loved by Mr. Han
  • you’re so carried away by the moment that when you feel the urge to fart, you do so, thinking that it’ll be a quiet one
  • Lo and behold, even your neighboring tables heard it
  • Jumin doesn’t even bat an eye, but his father chokes on his food and stares at you, his face momentarily disgusted
  • the CEO-in-line resumes conversation without effort, and Mr. Han happily obliges, but he pointedly ignores you for the rest of the evening
  • You stare at your plate, which you no longer have any appetite for, and sneak a glance towards Jumin
  • His face is mysteriously pink
  • You frown, and turn your attention to the tablecloth instead, absentmindedly dusting crumbs onto the floor
  • The next time you look at Jumin, his complexion is even more flushed
  • he seems almost feverish
  • then, a moment later, his eyes widen ever so slightly, and he excuses himself from the table, pulling you along in his wake
  • luckily, you were dining in the restaurant within the same building as Jumin’s apartment
  • as soon as you return home, he precipitates himself to the nearest washroom, while you, confused and still rather mortified by the earlier occurrence, plop yourself down on the armchair
  • it is only when Jumin emerges a while later, obviously fresh out of the showers, that he tells you his reason for leaving so early
  • also note to self but blushing, abashed Jumin is a sight for sore eyes honestly what a cutie
  • anyways so basically it turns out that was trying to fart for you so that you wouldn’t feel humiliated
  • but he ended up shitting his pants instead


Saeyoung:

  • You’re having one of those days where you feel uncomfortable gassy
  • The air buildup inside your stomach hurts, and the pain shows on your face
  • Seven interprets it as some sort of foul mood, which he thinks he can solve by joking around
  • Therefore, he decides that tickling you is a good idea
  • all those who have ever had the misfortune of feeling gassy will know that this is the opposite of a Good Idea
  • Despite your many protests and struggles to contain both your laughter and your gas
  • They just sorta slip out, one after the other
  • As soon as your abs clench when you giggle, you let out flatulence the likes of which Seven has never heard (or smelled) before
  • Which is saying something because he is one heck of a Farty Boy
  • He pauses mid-action for a fraction of a second, but before you can even begin to feel embarrassed, Saeyoung flashes a wicked grin and dives right back in
  • Within a minute, you’re liberated from the painful bloating of your abdomen, although the room now smells like concentrated fart
  • Seven literally doesn’t give a shit though
  • if you ever feel insecure about yous gas, he’ll make sure to let one out that’s far louder than yours (but he’s more of the silent but deadly type so loud farting is quite the achievement for him)
  • on the occasion that you guys have fart wars, no guests are allowed within twenty meters of the house unless the wish to die from methane poisoning
  • except Vanderwood, who is quite welcomes during these times
  • he nearly passes out the when he visits on the same day that you guys have a flatulence competition
Dating would include – Assassin's Creed Syndicate

Originally posted by hellomikky

Jacob Frye 

  • Well, the two of you usually can be found in the fight club 
  • Eventually you patch up Jacob after his last fight 
  • Or Evie has to take care of both of you 
  • It really depends on your mood 
  • “Yes, Evie. That guy deserved every punch." 
  • But to be honest you two are always up to cause mischief 
  •  ”[Y/N], Jacob, what have you done this time?!“ 
  • "We did nothing! … Oh, that. Yeah, we did that." 
  • Giving each other nicknames … all the time 
  • "Love” - “Angel” - “Dear” - “Could you two stop?!" 
  • Jacob is a big fan of public display of affection 
  • The people need to know you are his better half 
  • … and he would be lost without your kisses 
  • Seriously every kind of kiss 
  • "I want all of them, love." 
  • After a hard mission he needs you wrapped up in his arms 
  • Jacob’s mixed scent of smoke, beer and himself lures you in 
  • "Why do I smell beer on you, Jacob?" 
  • … "I think Evie calls me!" 
  • He makes sure you keep up your training 
  • Driven by his fear to lose you forever 
  • Even if he knows you can handle yourself just fine 
  • Him not being able to take his eyes off of you when you plan your mission 
  • The satisfied smirk on your lips makes his knees weak 
  • "Stop drooling, brother dearest." 
  • Randomly he wraps you up in his arms to get his daily dose of cuddles 
  • The two of you get comfortable on his favourite but little settee 
  • Resting your head on his chest, while his arms hold you close 
  • The closer the better 
  • His steady breathing making you sleepy 
  • "God, you are adorable, love." 
  • The two of you are barely fighting 
  • And if you do, it will be solved in the fight club later 
  • "I’m not going to hit you!" 
  • "Good, then it is going to be easier for me!" 
  • Don’t worry neither of you gets harmed, because you end up in a heated kiss 
  • "I don’t think you know how much you mean to me, [Y/N]." 
  • Evie approves your relationship without a doubt 
  • You are good for Jacob and vice versa 
  • And foremost you make each other happy 
  • Jacob could never think of someone else taking your place 
  • You are the only one he will ever love the way he does right now 
  • And occasionally the Assassin tells you his feelings in an unknown serious tone 
  • "I truly love you with every fibre of my body, love. You accept every flaw I have. You adore every insecurity I have -" 
  • "Shut up and kiss me, Jacob." 
  • Your wish is his command 

Originally posted by diospyros-05

Evie Frye

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anonymous asked:

Do you have any drarry fic recs?

DRARRY FIC RECS

UHH DO I EVER!!!!!!!!!!

I have about 30 drarry fic recs on my AO3 account which can be found here: cinnamon_skull but it’s no way inclusive of all my favorites, bc I’m generally bad about bookmarking. And the Drarry fandom has about a million, high-quality perfect stories that each deserve their own encyclopedia of praise and thanks. 

Here are some of my favorites:

The Boy Who Only Lived Twice by Lettered
Summary: Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It’s all right here, folks. NC-17, 54K+ words
Commentary: This fic changed my life. I thought about it for DAYS. The writing is inspired, the dynamic wondrously deep and cutting and beautiful. IF you read any fic on this list, make it this one. Read anything by Lettered.

Like Diamonds We are Cut With Our Own Dust by raitala
Summary: Draco has borne the mark of the Dark Lord for over ten years. It is familiar to him, but he pays the price for it every day, and Harry has noticed. PG-13, 10K+ words
Commentary: This fic pulled me back into Drarry hell. It was inspired by this iconic Drarry art done by the endlessly talented @alekina; don’t let the first person POV throw you, it’s a thoughtful, powerful piece that subtly pulls you under its spell. READ IT.

Here Be Dragons by birdsofshore
Summary: Harry doesn’t want to waste his time investigating illegal dragonhide trading, whether it involves a fetish club in Knockturn Alley or visiting a remote island in Wales. Why the bloody hell does Malfoy always have to be up to something? NC-17, 21K+ words
Commentary: This is a relatively new fic (October 2016) and hits all of my favorite kinks and tropes - and there are dragons and leather. READ IT. 

Turn by Saras_Girl
Summary: One good turn always deserves another. Apparently. NC-17, 98K+
Commentary: Saras_Girl’s work is a MUST. This fic in particular was a wild ride from start to finish and made me laugh and pull out my hair, and you’ll fall in love with Frank the snake. A love story for the ages.

Azoth by zeitgeistic 
Summary: Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care. NC-17, 88K+ words
Commentary: Probably one of my favorite slow burn stories ever. I can’t even accurately express how much I love this fic – just, read it. Please. Also, anything by Zeitgeistic is HIGHLY recommended.

Coffee, Cakes and Doorknob Snakes by Omi_Ohmy
Summary: Harry’s house is trying to kill him, and only one person can help him: pity it’s Draco Malfoy, NC-17, 40K+ words
Commentary: This fic is hilarious. And has Parseltongue!!!! YES.

A Private Reason for This by Femme
Summary: When the wife of a star politician in the Scottish Ministry turns up dead just outside Hogsmeade, Draco Malfoy and his murder investigation team are called in from the Edinburgh Auror force to find her killer. What DCI Malfoy doesn’t expect, however, is to have an ex from two decades past end up in his murder room, endangering not only his case, but also his heart. NC-17, 92K+ words
Commentary: The story here is brilliant - a murder investigation that is as compelling as the drarry. I am quite taken with ALL the characters and their portrayals… Draco in particular is so well done and complicated and perfect. 

The Invisible Man by Faith Wood
Summary: Sometimes unforeseen side effects aren’t the worst thing that can happen to a person. NC-17, 48K+ words
Commentary: Probably one of my favorite portrayals of Ron Weasley ever. EVER. Goes without saying, but all of Faith Wood’s works are stunning.

Running on Air by eleventy7
Summary: Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects. PG-13, 74K+ words
Commentary: Beautiful. Just. Beautiful.

ENJOY. JOIN ME IN DRARRY HELL.

Original Sin (Chapter 3 of ?)

(AO3)/ Chapter One/ Chapter Two

Authors: Mod A (tanagers) and Mod K (fangirlingforeverz)

Rating: NC-17/NSFW (Warnings: Unhealthy relationship dynamics. Black Reaper Ken being himself).

Word Count: 5,534 words.

Notes: The third chapter is completed at long last! (Black Reaper AU, Canon divergence).



Touka takes several days off from working at Re:, citing to Yomo that she wanted to take some time to relax and use that vacation fund she had been saving up to pamper herself. In reality, she had no plans, she secretly snuck in a few pounds of decaf coffee and locked herself in her room to sleep away the numerous emotions she was feeling inside.

He has not reached out to her, not even with a simple text. Not that he should – she had made her feelings clear, no matter how much it hurt and if anything, she should be happy, glad that he was heeding her warnings and staying away from her.

But – her heart is in pieces.

She had engaged in those trysts because of her inability to let go of the past, a product of her own hypocrisy, when she had promised herself that she would stay away from him and let him live the good life he deserved.

In the end, she was just a hypocrite.

God, she wanted to call him. She stares at his contact information on her phone, her finger hovering over the call button. She almost presses it numerous times. Frustrated, she places her phone back onto the dresser and sits herself up on her bed, raking her fingers through her messy hair.

Keep reading

2

Can i rant? Because this is so disgusting! And i’m sure alot of you will agree with what is in this post.

First of all, Christian as well as the whole DPR group deserve to be loved for the talent they have, the music they make for us fans and the never ending fan service that they provide. It makes me so angry to know that Dabin isn’t as popular as Christian because ‘he isn’t as good looking’. I have said it before and i will say it again….all these newbie fans that only jumping on Christian dick cuz of his looks annoy me😒 if you’re really and truly supporting the team then that’s cool but so many people don’t even know Live and Dabin as the same person🙄.

The amount of times i have seen people comment stuff like “who are you?” “What do you do?” “Why are you famous?” on his livestreams….i could kill a bitch. Yet he is still kind and patient enough to explain himself when he really don’t need to. I have been a fan of Christian since his days of B.Boy B.Yu and his silly little park videos on youtube, all the way through C-Clown debut and disbandment and now through DPR, which is why shit like this disgusts me.

Another thing that really angered me was to see that people blamed Christian for C-Clown’s disbandment. Seriously?! Christian did not choose for his team to be broken apart so that the other group in their label could have more funding. Just because Christian is the most ‘out-there’ out of the ex-members does not give people the right to come at him like that. Kangjun became the fashion and visual director of his own label and Maru even started making his own video projects with his own little team (they start uploading them tomorrow btw everyone go an support my baby!!!!!💕).

These articles truly show how shallow today’s society is that it only focusses on people’s looks and not their abilities. This can be applied to alot of artists such as Jay Park, Owol(taehyun) and since SMTM6 Double K (don’t even get me started on Double K, he’s such a legend but people only getting to know him now) I am done with people jumping on the DPR hype because it’s so “aesthetic”….MISS ME WITH THAT BULLSHIT😡

Final note:
CHRISTIAN WAS ALWAYS FUCKING HOT!!!!!! YOU GUYS NEED TO GO AND CHECK ALL HIS VIDEOS AND ALL OF C-CLOWN’S VIDEOS BECAUSE THIS MAN HAS BEEN FEEDING US GOOD FOR YEARS!!!!!!!!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥

🤦🏼‍♂️Who Am I🦄

Who am I to say

What’s wrong or what’s right?

Resort to anyone or

Any substance you want

Whatever is making you sleep tonight

Suppress your soul

As much as you can

Mould it like a piece of clay

And forget everything that once said

Let the world take its toll

And tell you what to do

Wish I could too

But I am just killing time

And waiting for the perfect moment

To jump the line


Who am I you ask

Just a man trying

To live by his words

Leaving one place to the next

Looking for my peace of mind

That ceases to exist

Hoping to be forgiven

For all the things that he has done

You will call me a lost lover

If you look at my other works

But trust me I so wish

I was just that

Its more like my soul here

Is lost in the gaps

With someone, an unicorn

Who once could never see anyone sad

Well, her soul now is close to dead

All of this is was my bad

I am sorry that I was not born perfect

-a.K

Originally posted by pixiedustandperoxide

I know what you’re thinking, “Hold on a minute, I requested something ages ago and this bitch has the nerve to write this first? What a piece of trash.”

In response I say I’M SO SORRY OKAY I REALLY AM. THIS PROMPT WAS JUST LIKE PERFECT FOR MY MOOD BECAUSE I HAD JUST WRITTEN ABOUT RHYS AND HIS DAUGHTER AND I’M SORRY OKAY I’LL GET AROUND TO IT I PROMISE. NO REQUEST WILL BE LEFT UNDONE.

This was requested by the lovely @feysand17! I hope you like it! If you would like any other Feysand fics or ACOTAR and ToG in general, you can find my masterlist here.

***

Rhys was the most powerful High Lord in the history of existence. He’d vanquished countless enemies, slain armies with his own, had people quake with fear just at the mere mention of his name.

And yet he couldn’t get his baby girl to just take a nap.

He had closed the blinds to his home, shrouding them in darkness. He had laid her gently onto a baby blanket on the floor only feet away from where he was resting on the couch. He had sung to her, fed her, read to her – all the tricks that usually worked.

And yet she had the nerve to just gurgle at him.

His baby was a wriggler. She was only nine months old and yet she loved to play with whoever would give her their time. Of course everyone in his family loved his daughter tirelessly so she never had a shortage of doting family members to give her whatever she wanted. It had gotten to the point where Azriel was coming to Rhys and Feyre with the most mundane ‘updates’ from his spies just so he had an excuse to come see their daughter. Feyre assured him that he didn’t need to make up excuses to come but Azriel just looked scandalized (and then proceeded to just come to the house whenever he wanted). Mor was much more… aggressive with her love. She would just waltz into their house and steal the baby away. No warning, no asking, she just did it. She explained to Rhys in her most haughty voice that she simply could not go shopping on her own and their daughter Eleana was the perfect companion. Once Mor tried to take her without warning Rhys or Feyre and Rhys had to tell her to stop. He did also want to spend time with her as her parent. Mor just scoffed and said, “You get to live with her Rhysand, stop being so selfish.”

He didn’t even want to think about how bad Cassian would be if he didn’t have a child of his own to look after.

Eleana started to make small, random noises, trying to get her father to come pick her up.

Rhys, who was now sitting on the couch waiting for her to go asleep, laughed at her efforts.

“No, my little butterfly. You need to go to sleep.”

Rhys didn’t know if she could understand a single word of what he said, but her answering pout seemed to confirm that she did.

Her response was to roll so that she was on her stomach and giggle as she started pulling at the red mat she was lying on.

“Eleana,” Rhys groaned.

If she didn’t go to sleep now she’d be a nightmare by late afternoon. She would be grumpy, and that would make Rhys and Feyre tired and unhappy too. They’d done this before - you’d think she’d have learnt by now to just go to sleep.

She let out a little squeal of delight at the attention and shimmied her shoulders. It was a devastatingly cute action. Her bright eyes that were the perfect match for Rhys’s and the matching onesie made her irresistible and Rhys found his resolve wavering.

Eleana, oblivious to her father’s irritation, rolled so that she was again on her back and started kicking her feet into the air as if she was running.

“I am grown man, and I won’t give into you,” Rhys said aloud, more to reassure himself than to tell his daughter.

He sent a quick message to Feyre down the bond to tell her what their mischievous daughter was doing - or not doing.

His mate’s only response was so laugh down the bond and tell him to deal with it. It was her day to shop with Mor and he had done this a million time before and could do it again.

His daughter started shrieking – actually shrieking – in a bid to get his attention.

“This,” Rhys gestured between himself and his daughter, “isn’t going to happen. You may as well just give up and go to sleep.”

Using her arms and by extending her wings she managed to push herself up into a sitting position. She had the same glint in her eye that her mother always had when she was about to do something shocking or wicked.

She reached out and using the table small setting table next to her pulled herself up onto her feet.

This wasn’t something new - she’d been doing it for weeks. It started when Azriel and Cassian had been over and she had been crawling around the floor between their legs. She was doing the same squealing thing she was doing now but the three brothers were too deep in conversation to really take notice of it. They knew she was happy and safe and they were content enough with that knowledge to leave her to her own devices.

Eleana, not at all happy with that arrangement, had crawled to her father feet and yanked on his pants until she was standing up.

The three men looked down at her in surprise and delight and had instantly given her the notice she’d desired.

If she thought that old trick would work now. Ha. Try again baby. Rhys: 1, Eleana: 0.

He was a grown man, and he could resist the demands of a baby.

Rhys was saying it like a mantra at this point.

At not getting a response from him she pouted again - her little lip sticking out and eyes going even bigger.

Rhys couldn’t help the smug smile that spread across his face.

His expression, however, changed into pure astonishment when his daughter’s next move was to walk to him.

Her steps were slow and unsteady but they were steps. His little girl was walking for the first time.

He slid off the couch and onto his knees and opened his arms ready for his little girl to walk into.

She stumbled a bit but shot him a toothless grin and kept walking.

She was a foot away from him when she tripped and nearly fell, but Rhys was there ready to scoop her into his arms.

He lifted her up high and swung her around in a circle before pressing a kiss to each of her rosy cheeks. With her little hands she grabbed his dark hair that matched her own and pulled his face down so that she could press a ‘kiss’ to his nose. Really it was more of a toothless bite but the action made him swoon.

Come home now come home now come home now He practically yelled at his mate. She would be shattered that she missed it but they would make up for it with lots and lots of walking in the future.

And indeed they did.

Feyre rushed home to be greeted by a bouncing baby and ecstatic husband who she spent the rest of the day playing with. With Rhys at one side of the room and Feyre at the other with their tiny miracle stumbling between them, neither fae had ever been happier.

hikaruchau  asked:

I AM SHAMELESSLY REQUESTING THIS WITHOUTASKING ANONYMOUSLY ON, SO LIKE: Could I please please please request sentences "I want to have a baby.” and “You’re the love of my life.” with Hikaru? ; o ; <3 Love your stuff guys, you're literally the only reason I even started a tumblr ahahaha. I am all for happy stuff, so sorry if this is not angst or something, but.. Happy happy vibec! ; u ; <3

I hope you enjoy this @hikaruchau!!! Thanks for your lovely prompt!!

Keep reading

Fan Dub Bloopers Sentence Starters Part 1
  • [ My friends and I do fan dubs to entertain ourselves when we get together. These are from the Attack on Titan one we did years ago. ]
  • "Do you even work? Are you even working?"
  • "I'm really...I really gotta make sure."
  • "i'm really scared you're not gonna work."
  • "*pause* I thought I was gonna do it."
  • "Why does this always happen?"
  • "Oh wait, what?"
  • "Pfffffffffffffff- It's muted."
  • "Originally, it was a castle. That was old. And we modeled it."
  • "That's what happened to it yup."
  • "We just-.. and horses."
  • "And stuff because that word can't come out of my mouth apparently."
  • "Since it is so far from the river and things. I- yeah."
  • "Since it was- ah, fuck you."
  • "Wait, what? What just happened?"
  • "Oh yeah, it was. It was right there."
  • "Stupid skank. What a skank."
  • "I wasn't readyyyyy."
  • "You even told me you were."
  • "I wasn't expecting THAT."
  • "FUCK YOUUUUU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH."
  • "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK THAT MEANT?"
  • "I fuck myself all the time."
  • "Okay. Let's do the- let's keep going."
  • "I was in the mid-sentence."
  • "____, fuck meeee."
  • "Fuck me up the butt."
  • "Goddamn it. Slap me now, man."
  • "Trying to bind my hands?"
  • "You gotta buy me a noose before you're my wife."
  • "He just fangirls hardcore."
  • "It's like right when you hit it."
  • "OOOOOI!"
  • "I do have his voice, so it's okay."
  • "You're sleeping in the basement."
  • "Yeah, basement, man."
  • "I was expecting to hear "OOOOOI!" and I didn't."
  • "Oh, never mind. I lied."
  • "God, get it together."
  • "He isn't the perfect people hero people thing."
  • "He's really short, and he's probably got a pole up his butt."
  • "Well then, I don't know THAT was what you thought about me."
  • "You gotta listen to the boops, okay? Boops!"
  • "I skip I words."
  • "He's a lot edge."
  • "I don't know what the fuck to say, and I am so done right now."
  • "I didn't mean "okay" as in "go"!"
  • "What really surprised me was how he followed things."
  • "Hey, you have it muted, and you don't have the headphones in."
  • "Oooooooops."
  • "All I could think of was ____ saying "Howdy ho!""
  • "And I really was tempted."
  • "____, I just wanna smell you."
  • "Are you serious? I'm typing!"
  • "I'm not ready for ____ yet!"
  • "I like how he said ____."
  • "Fuck you, man! Just fuck youuuu!"
  • "I just want you to fuck me already, okay?"
  • "Or I just wanna fuck you. I don't know."
  • "I don't know which. I'm just confused."
  • "Hon."
  • "He can suck my dick."
  • "____ can suck your dick?"
  • "How's your Fire Emblem game going?"
  • "Fuck plans!"
  • "I start recording, and you say "Buck-aaah!"
  • "We've been neglected by a single fucking blow!"
  • "To ____'s dick!"
  • "It needs to be longer?"
  • "You wanna make those noises?"
  • "Where'd everyone go?"
  • "What've I gotten myself into?"
  • "I'll have to tell you about the boys."
  • "Once upon a time, there was a tribe of the people did things."
  • "Eating and people and things."
  • "The scod weeder?"
  • "Is squadge leader here?"
  • "The squash leader!"
  • "You made the mistake of attacking humanity and bullshit."
  • "I got distracted bY JAM!"
  • "They made steaks out of butts."
  • "She said "bean" after I did."
  • "What they wouldn't do to fuck."
  • "Oh, I lost my place."
  • "It was light. Extremely light. Light as balls."
  • "The test subjects! Both I fucked!"

Aaron: ZANE!

Zane: (rushes into the room and kneels) Y-Yes, my lord?

Aaron: I know we may have had our differences in the past…But I will consider pardoning you…if you can prove yourself worthy of my forgiveness.

Zane: Anything. I live only to earn your approval, my lord.

Aaron: …Go through the Nether portal and seek out a demon warlock by the name of Travis Valkrum…His hidden powers may prove useful, with a bit of persuasion. Return him to me alive and you will be granted to stay in my chambers, so long as I am present…Understood?

Zane: It shall be done, my lord.

Aaron: Good…Take this with you. It will help to track the man. (gives the shadow knight a purple glowing item in the shape of a star)

Zane: Thank you, my lord. (bows head before standing back up and leaving the room)

(I needed to write this after hearing Zane call Aaron’s body perfect in the Season 3 premiere)

As far as Destiel goes, I am super torn between shipper Sam, and totally oblivious Sam:

Either, he has known they love each other for years (longer than Cas and Dean even), has been trying to drop subtle hints for ever, is so done with the staring and sexual tension whenever they go anywhere, owes his perfected eye-roll to these two idiots, probably has an account on some Supernatural fan site where he vents, has already half written his best man speech, and is THIS close to locking them both in a cupboard until the penny drops.

Or, he has always prided himself on his observation skills as a hunter, but where his brother and the angel are concerned he doesn’t have a clue. Dean gets up with a hickey on his neck and Sam wonders when the hell he had time to go out last night. They are sitting, staring at each other, and Sam just thinks, thank God for some quiet, I can get on with this research. He does frown when Dean insists on booking a separate motel room to him, but Sam’s got a cold at the moment so hey, maybe his brother doesn’t want to listen to him snore. In the end, it’s a tiny thing that gives the game away. The faintest brush of Dean’s fingers over Cas’s knuckles as he serves dinner one day in the bunker. And every little thing from the last six or so years suddenly slots into place, and Sam almost falls out of his chair laughing. 

anonymous asked:

How the fuck are you even alive right now as a Jungkook stan? Honestly the boy isn't normal man no one should be able to look so hot?!!!! I'm actually having a crisis.

correction: i am not alive right now

whO DOES HE THINK HE IS JUST WALKING INTO MY LIFE LIKE THIS AND STEPPING ON MY HEART AND VAGINA WITH HIS BROAD SHOULDERS, MUSCULAR THIGHS AND PERFECT FEATURES. HIS FUKIN SHARP JAWLINE AND HIS BIG DOE EYES, I’M DONE PLAYING GAMES HE’S RUINING MY LIFE

anonymous asked:

I am sorry you got that hate ask. I have been following you for quite some time now and I have never seen you post anything remotely islamophobic. These ants are trippin so f***ing hard. I grew up muslim however I choose a different path bc personal reasons. But I know islamophobia when I see it. How the hell did they think u were anti islam in your response when u were nowhere near that?? All u did was defending Adam Driver. Honestly. F*** those ants. Adam Driver is wonderful man.

Thank you for your kind words, Nonnie! I agree, Adam’s so talented and understated and he’s mesmerising to watch perform. Sure, he’s not a perfect human being either but he’s done his best to avoid unnecessary bullshit, and these antis are looking for bones in stones.

I am not religious in any way, shape or form. I grew up Catholic but I find religious insitutions a bit unsavory (which, whatever, that’s my fuckin problem). And honestly I’ve had friends for decades (since like…Junior High/Middle School) and I’ve never actually asked them if they practiced religion or believed in anything because I don’t care. My criteria for friendship is 1) you are not an asshole, and if you’re going to act like one, at least do it ironically or make me laugh). 2) Don’t judge me for my actions but do honestly tell me if you feel it will hinder my progress or success as a human being 3) that you like eating as much as I do because I have the appetite of a ravenous badger girl.

Anyway, in terms of haters, I think  it all stems down to projection– I’ve asked my husband this (therapist who specializes in behavioral psych, thank the Force) and he says that most people who lash out against key words like “islamophobia” or any kind of religious or sex/gender-discriminatory derogatives (even if there are none set) are usually not looking for discussion– they’re looking for a way to validate their own personal thoughts and feelings through unhealthy ways–positive reinforcement through self-sustained superiority.

Blah, blah, blah, in short– they’re not reading anything I write. They view me as someone who understands or sees something they don’t, or something they’re afraid of, or maybe English comprehension is lost on them, I don’t fucking know, but it makes them scared. I’m taking away their medium with which to reinforce their self-sustained superiority, and it can cause violent lashouts (mostly in the form of one-sentence death threats that hold no real weight or value in their source).

I’m a grown adult (…oh god, I’m a grown adult O_O), and sometimes I revert back into being an 18-year-old cunty bitch who gets upset over people online, but then I remember that I don’t know these people, and they don’t know me. Whatever they feel like doing, is mostly for themselves and not for me, tbh. Being able to spit words at me because they’re allowed to on social media is the only way they can remotely get into my character (or well, the character they believe me to be). So I don’t get too upset over things like this, and if I do, it’s like…for an hour (because I have some range of emotion other than sarcastic and bored). Everyone of my followers and mutuals who have faced these death threats and assholes over Tumblr should know that 1) they don’t know you 2) they don’t actually give a fuck about you, they give a fuck about their ego 3) Eventually they’re going to flock something else to hate on once they realize that their collective bullshit doesn’t do much. It’s unfortunate, but that’s how human minds work, especially in very tight circles with the same ideologies and practicies. Sometimes I get caught up in it, but eventually I pull myself back to Earth and go, “hey, you got some shit to do elsewhere that’s actually kind of important. These haters don’t pay for your BMW or your student loans. So….stop caring.”

Buuut thank you and everyone who’s messaged me. Even though Tumblr could be so stupid, I think the ones I choose to remain friends with keep me happy, refreshed and excited in an otherwise mundane life of full-time work, marriage and maintaining finances (ew). So thanks guys. And to the haters: I’m not sorry your ego has been tarnished, but I am sorry that you choose to express it so monstrously. K, cool.

Originally posted by a-night-in-wonderland

anonymous asked:

I am crying at Louis quite literally implying he was in San Francisco, and crying at harry singing what makes you beautiful and just the fact he's so so beautiful and he smashed it on his opening night of tour. Sometimes I get frustrated at what isn't being done or said but man they are lovely boys who do have good intentions, they aren't perfect but man neither am I.

what a good wednesday

magi labyrinth of magic: characters you should and shouldn't fight.

Aladdin: Do not fight. WHY? HE IS A PRECIOUS PERVERTED BLUE JESUS. HE SHOULD NOT BE FOUGHT. Also he will wreck you. He will Dhoruf Sabaha your ass to outer space and the whole world will cheer. His friends at the very least will wreck you before you even engage in a battle. And if you do manage to land a scratch on him… (why would you)… three angry powerful parents will come back from the void just to punch your face in. See Judal for more info on what happens when you try to fight this kid. Do not engage at all costs.

Alibaba: You can fight him. He will enjoy it even if he gets wrecked. Which I doubt he will unless you are djinn equip handler or magician. (Or can parry like a boss). He learns a lot from fighting and enjoys healthy little quarrels. If you do win. Be careful of his gang. They will fuck you up. So in essence: Fight him. But at what cost?

Morgiana: YOU BETTER FIGHT HER. She will kick your ass but you will be okay with it. You will not win at all. There is no hope for you. BUT YOU WILL BE PLEASANTLY KICKED IN THE FACE. FIGHT HER FOR ALL OF US. Just be prepared for a world of pain. So do engage at all costs.

Hakuryuu: Do not fight. He is a pissed and an emo asshole right now. He won’t be able to deal with your shit and send you straight for the void. Good news is that while you are in the void you can fight alibaba and Judal. bad news. THE MOTHERFUCKING VOID. DONT FIGHT. IT AINT WORTH FIGHTING THE OTHER TWO. JUST WAIT. (but as soon as the war is over please engage to your hearts content). Summing this up: be patient and don’t fight him.

Sinbad: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. PLEASE FIGHT HIM. YOU WILL LOSE BUT GO FOR A PUNCH TO THE FACE AT THE VERY LEAST. DONT EVEN LET THE FUCKER KNOW YOU ARE ABOUT TO FIGHT JUST OUT RIGHT HIT HIM IN HIS STUPID HANDSOME FACE. He is a jackass. But he is my jackass. He needs to be taken down a notch. that or he will just laugh at you like I will. He may even punch you back and you will be knocked out in one blow. But for all intents and purposes: please fight this man. He will love it. Ja'far and the other generals will love it. The tourists will love it. and most importantly you will love it.

Toto: Please fight. She wants to fight you so bad. In fact she already is fighting you. You just are not aware. fight her. you have a 25% chance of winning. Those odds are pretty high compared to most people in magi. So do engage.

Olba: sure why not. Fight him. I honestly have no idea how this one will go. The fucker probably deserves it. He probably has gone to fight Hakuryuu which I already strongly said not to do. Fight him. For science.

JUDAL: ENGAGE. ENGAGE PLEASE. HE CONTINUOUSLY FIGHTS ALADDIN AND EVERYONE I TELL HIM NOT TO FIGHT. FIGHT THIS FUCKER. YOU WILL WIN. ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE A 25% OF LOSING ON NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES. FIGHT HIM PLEASE. I WANT TO SEE HIM SCREAM. I WILL MAKE POPCORN. I LOVE THIS ASSHOLE BUT HE NEEDS TO BE PUNCHED. HE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIGHT ALADDIN BY THE WAY SO DO FIGHT.

Kouha: HAhaHAhaHAhaHA No. do not engage. You will die. You won’t just get REKT. YOU WILL DIE. HE WILL KILL YOU AND THEN LAUGH AT YOUR CORPSE. It will be funny to me but not to you. SO DO NOT ENGAGE THIS FUCKER.

Koumei: Why would you fight him? All he does is sleep and complain. Sure you can fight him. But you will be fighting a sloth. unless you actually wake him up. Then prepared to get REKT. Example A: That mountain. Once he woke up all hell broke loose. So engage but quietly.

Kougykou: No. Do not fight. Not just because she is a precious fish princess. But because she is a fish princess that will fuck you up. Wanna die from water? This your way to go. Wanna live? Do not fucking fight.

Hakuei: Ha. that is funny. do not fight. She is a fucking storm waiting to wreck you. Go ahead and fight when you are ready to be killed. You might enjoy it though. But it won’t be worth the pain. So do not engage. I just don’t want to see her angry because I’m pretty sure a bit of insane gyokuen will come out and thrash you. Do not engage.

Kouen: FIGHT THE GOAT. You will lose but at least you can tell your friends you fought a man goat. Goat man??? Engage. But you will be ganked by him and his siblings. Hakuryuu might join in just to hurry up his battle with his brother. So fight but away from the others.

Titus: This is a similar scenario to Aladdin. HE IS TOO PRECIOUS DO NOT FIGHT. IF FOUGHT EXPECT TO BE REKT. SCHEHERAZADE WILL COME BACK FROM THE GRAVE TO KILL YOU IF YOU FIGHT HER PRECIOUS SON. DO. NOT. FIGHT. PLEASE. I DONT WANT TO WATCH THIS. do not engage him.

Yunan: Fight this fucker. You will win because he will surrender after you punch him. But be careful. He will stalk you and creep on you because he likes to show his love and payback in a more subtle way. But please do punch. He is stronger than he looks but is lazy. Mr. Runawayfrommyresponsibilities himself. So do engage.

Ja'far: Why do you want to die so quick? He will kill you. HE WILL STAB YOU IN THE FACE AND SAY, “OOPS MY HAND SLIPPED.” Then he will go and smile at Sinbad who will high five him. So do not engage in combat. Not a fun time.

Muu: Fight him. He will fight you. He will fight the sun. He will fight everyone. Fight this fucker. Please fight. He is adorable when he punches people’s face in. DO FIGHT.

Gyokuen: FIGHTTHISBITCH. FIGHT HER. RESURRECT HER AND FIGHT HER AGAIN. GOOD BYE YOU FUCKING INCEST LOVING WITCH.

Solomon: No. Do not fight. DO NOT FUCKING FIGHT. I WILL REPEAT. DO NOT FIGHT. HE WILL DHORUF SABAHA YOUR ASS AND THEN DHORUF LUYILA YOUR ASS INTO THE GROUND. NOT TO MENTION HIS WIFE WILL FUCKING STAB YOU. DO NOT ENGAGE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

Sheba: Don’t you FUCKING DARE. THIS WOMAN WILL EIGHT WALL DEFENSE YOU INTO A VOLCANO. GOOD BYE FUCKER. SEE YOU NEVER.

Ugo: WHY. FIGHT. HIM? just kick fucking puppies. You know what? Since the thought came into your mind. Fight him. He will crush you and then Solomon, Arba, Sheba, ad Ithnan will gank you if you do just so happen to win. I’m not saying it is impossible. I’m just saying that enemies will join up just to make sure you die. DOUBLE DEAD. So engage if you like dying.

Arba: She likes to fight. So go ahead and fight her. With magic? You might win. With sword fighting? TIME TO GET STABBED MOTHERFUCKER. So fight her. But with magic so you might win.

Ithnan: Fight him. It will be fun. I mean for you. You will win guaranteed. Touch Setta though. You will lose you fucker. Simple. Got it? Good.

Setta: Do not fight. Do not fight. Just no. He will kill you because I have a feeling you fought Ithnan and he will fight you automatically and wreck your stupid face. So do not make it worse by engaging him. Just accept your beating.

Tess:????? why????? Wait. David. Never mind. Do not fight or get wrecked by his parents and parents friends.

Falan: Don’t fight. She is a fiery red head. She will destroy you. Especially if you hurt anyone she loves. Be prepared to burn. So do not engage.

Wahid: Fight this fucker. He thinks Falan’s boobs are his. They are everyone’s. The fucker can’t have them to himself. But of course ask Falan before you touch her breasts. Cause if you don’t he has every right to cut you. But fight him. You should try.

Yamraiha: Do not fight. You will get owned. You will be destroyed by her and her water magic. She will turn you into nothing but steam. So don’t fight.

Pisti: FIGHT THIS CHILD. SHE NEEDS IT. SHE CRAVES THAT FIGHT. So fight her.

Spartos: WHY WOULD YOU FIGHT THIS CINNAMON ROLL? He will own you. BUT STILL. DO NOT FIGHT.

Hinahoho: FIGHT HIM AND DIE. HE IS AN EIGHT FOOT MAN OF DEATH. LET US NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT HIS WIFE WHO IS STRONGER THAN HIM. BA BYE.

Drakon: Do not fight this beautiful man. He too is innocent and perfect. Plus his wife will kill you.

Masrur: Please fight. He also likes to fight. He will win though. Just a warning. Literally fight all fanalis I am pretty sure it is their way of saying I love you. So do fight.

Sharrkan: he fight everyone. He loves to fight yam most of all. So yes. Fight. But you have to wait until him and Yamraiha are done fighting. You may even win.

Mira: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT FIGHT. UNLESS YOU LIKE TO BE STEPPED ON BY HOT BISEXUAL LADIES. THEN FIGHT. SHE WILL OWN YOU AND IF YOU ARE A MAN SHE WILL OWN YOU AND THEN THROW YOU IN THE TRASH WHERE YOU BELONG. (her thought process not mine) SO DO NOT FIGHT.

Kassim: Do not fight because no. I miss the guy. Don’t fight because he has been through enough.

Scheherazade: Fight but you will die. She may be old but she still kicks ass and asks for names later. Have fun and be yourself and she may spare you. 

Myron: kick ass ask questions later is the Reim way.So yes you can fight her and it will be worth it but do you want to die? Lots of blood everywhere buddy. SO maybe not. Do not fight???

Lo'lo’: Please fight. So he can crush you like the insignificant worm you are. DIE MOTHERFUCKER.

Mogamett: I would fight him. He is old. He may be powerful but while he reminiscing about the past just punch him in the face. Instant win.

Marga: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND KIDS OH MY GOD. SO FUCKING NO.

David: Ha. You better fight this man. Do it for the vine.

Irene: The blonde ones are the ones that will kill you and laugh and then keep killing your corpse until you are extra dead.

Myers: Fight her. Again. Will lose. And she will crush your head between her boobs or thighs depending on her mood that day.

Serendine: You have two choices: Fight and die. Don’t fight and don’t die.

Barbarossa: FIGHT THIS DICK RIGHT NOW. HE DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT HIS CUTE FIANCE OR HIS ADORABLE BROTHER. DIE FUCKER DIE. I WANT TO SEE BLOOD. GO KILL HIM BABES. GO AND CONQUER HIS STUPID ASS. So do fight.

Dunya: Um no. Don’t fight. She is too perfect. And she will kill you. So keep on scrolling we are almost at the end.

Aum Madaura: Aw yeah. Fight this bitch. She deserves it. The least you can do is give her something like a punch to the boob. Specifically her left boob. She has some weird ass kink with little boys which makes me want to puke. So you might puke. While fighting her. So yes, please fight for the sake of all the little boys out there.

anonymous asked:

Oh my god. I'm never going to get over Harry Styles am I? Like, this is it. He is the ultimate love of my life. No one is going to compare to him. Oh god. I'm fucked aren't I? I'm going to be that girl that takes his name when I'm in bed with another man. Shit! He's done it for me. Ruined me completely. What an absolute mother fucker! How dare he be so perfect? How dare he raise the bar so high? Just like, how dare he do everything perfect? Fuck you Harry Styles, I love you so much. 😭❤

This is me oh my god like he has set the bar impossibly high

Teach me how to love

So, I never wrote a Namjoon vanilla scenario but it had to be done so here it is. I tried my best to make it perfect and I am seriously sorry if it’s not. Please take a bit of time and read it! It will mean a lot to me! And so so soooo sorry this is so long :(

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Genre: Fluff,Smut | Teacher!Namjoon

Fandom: BTS

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Word count: 3036

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Good Morning, Class!” the professor said when he entered the room.

“Who is this?” you asked yourself, eventually looking at the teacher’s desk. A tall man, young and slim with blonde hair stood still, next to the desk. He placed his books and papers on the table when everybody eyed him.

He turned his attention to the class again, this time attacking everybody with a toothy smile. You found yourself staring at him, at his face, analyzing every feature.

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