i am so done with these two i swear to god

Writers

Writer says: So I had this crazy idea one day and I just had to work on it. Here ya go!

Writer means: So I had this crazy idea either right before getting in the shower or right before falling asleep so I grabbed my fucking laptop and shat all over it to create the steaming pile of crap that I now lay before you. I don’t even know if it’s good anymore. I haven’t slept in two days.

Writer says: Wow, real life’s getting busy! Sorry on the slow updates.

Writer means: My life is a literal storm of shit at the moment. Why did I decide to do this. Why am I still doing this. Everything around me is spinning out of control and I am staying up ‘til 5:30 in the morning every night to create a piece of work that will only get two comments and 12 demands for quicker updates. I hope no one’s mad at me, all I wanted to do was write.

Writer says: Wow! Would you look at that! I updated on time! Please enjoy!

Writer means:  WOOOOOOHOOOOOO BITCHES LOOK AT THIS PRODUCTIVE ASSHOLE GO YEEEEEHAAAAWWWW TAKE THAT YOU NASTY REVIEWERS ALWAYS DEMANDING ME TO BE FASTER! I GOT THIS SHIT I GOT THIS SHIT

Writer says: This chapter was a toughie. Glad it’s finally done!

Writer means: I don’t know if this is good or not. I honestly don’t fucking know. I’ve read the same words over and over and over again and I just couldn’t look at it anymore. My beta said it was ok but I’m not confident but HOLY SHIT I JUST NEED TO STOP WRITING THIS FUCKIGN CHAPTER.

Writer says: Thanks for reading!

Writer means: Please, oh please oh please oh please leave me a review. A comment. Anything. Please tell me you’re out there. Please tell me someone is reading this.

Writer says: I just want to say that real life is getting pretty hectic right now. Please try to be patient with me, I know you guys want updates. Thanks! :)

Writer means: FUCK. YOU. Who the fuck do you think you are, demanding shit from me?! You don’t know my life! I have a very busy life! I create shit for free, you entitled son of a pig-fucker! STOP LEAVING ME COMMENTS TELLING ME TO UPDATE SOON OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL PUKE ALL OVER MY COMPUTER 

Writer says: What’s gonna happen next? Who knows? Hee hee ;)

Writer means: I have no fucking clue what the next chapter is going to look like. What’s my plot? I don’t know. I feel no emotion.

Writer says: Please leave a comment! It helps me write!

Writer means: I am begging you to leave me a comment because I swear it’s the only thing that’s keeping me motivated right now, I hate the work I put out and I need reassurance that people are actually enjoying this.

Writer says: I hope you enjoyed that chapter, big things are coming up! ;)

Writer means: Buckle up bitches, someone’s gonna die.

Writer says: I know I’ve missed a few updates, but I swear I plan on finishing this story! 

Writer means: *high pitched eternal screeching*

Writer says: Here we are at long last! This has been one wild ride. I want to thank you all so much for your support and love, I adore each and every one of you. I am so happy to say that this story has come to a wonderful close.

Writer means: My body is numb. Voices call out to me from the void, but I can no longer hear them over the beating of my racing heart. I am stressed to the point where I feel no relief. The story is done. It’s fucking DONE. I loved it, I hated it, it was a fucking storm of horror and pain. I can no longer see color. Now I can at last relax and…wait……wait a second………..holy shit I just thought of the best idea for a one-shot that’s totally gonna turn into a 50 chapter slow burn AU fic leT’S FUCKING DO THIS

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS

Following my AUs and Prompts List from a few months back, here is a compilation of my favorite sentence starters for all your writing needs.

Because most of them aren’t mine, credits are at the end.

SHORT

“Marry me.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You are not going without me.”

“I can’t believe you!”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“What did you say?”

“I’m not jealous.”

"You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“Are you sure this is legal?”

“Isn’t this amazing?”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Stay the night. Please.”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

“Run away with me.”

“You did WHAT?”

“Quit whining.”

“Get outta my sight!”

“Why are you so annoying?”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

"Never in a million years.”

“Don’t ask me that…”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“What’s with the box?”

“W- What are you doing?”

“Say it!”

“I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“What’s going on here?”

“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”

“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“Did you do this on purpose?!”

“Kiss me.”

“Are you still awake..?”

“Excuse you?”

“This is all your fault!”

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

“It’s not fair!”

“I could kill you right now!”

“Knock it off!”

“Screw you!”

“You’re a complete moron!”

“I love this song!”

“I can’t be in love with you!”

“Make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I hate you.”

“You are infuriating!”

“Just shut up already.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Bite me.”

“Eat me.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“Just admit you’re wrong.”

“You are being ridiculous!”

“That’s irrational.”

“Listen to me!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“That’s it. End of discussion.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Fuck you!”

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“How dare you?”

“I dare you!” 

“It’s you, it’s always been you.” 

“Well this is awkward…”

“Just pretend to be my date”.  

MISCELLANEOUS

“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”

“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”

“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

“Can I touch your boob?”

“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”

“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”

“Give me cake or give me death.”

“On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”

“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”

“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”

“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

“What have I told you about the toilet seat?”

“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

“I vote today to be a pajama day.”

“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”

“I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”

“This would not happen if I had a penis!”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”

“To the night you’ll never remember!”

“Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?”

“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”

“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.”

“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”

“You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!”

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”

“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”

"I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”

“Look out where you’re going, asshole!”

“Fuck the sandwich guy!”

“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”

“The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”

“I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.”

“There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”  

“There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.”

“It’s midnight, what do you want?”

“I think I know how to use a bed.”

“If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.”

“You are completely unfit to handle a child.”

“We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

“When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”

“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

PREGNANCY

“I have something to tell you…”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant!”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”

“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”

“Pregnancy suits you…”

“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

“I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!”

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”

“Shh… He/she’s sleeping..”

“I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”

“No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”

“Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”

FLUFF

“Your hair is so soft…”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

“Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“What, does that feel good?”

“HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?”

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

“You are ridiculously comfortable…”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“We should get a puppy!”

STARGAZING

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Shooting star, make a wish.”

“It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”

“Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”

“Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…”

“Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?”

“Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.”

“This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?”

“Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.”

“I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.

FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL

“Did you just… finish?”

“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”

“I’m not actually feeling anything.”

“Are you getting any closer?”

“Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!”

“Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”

“Shit sorry, am I going too fast?”

“Wow, you’re hot.”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Hey, I’m open minded.”

“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”

“I see someone’s happy to see me.”

“I saw that. You just checked me out.”

“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”

“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”

“Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”

“If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”

“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”

“I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

TEXTS

[text]: What do you want now?

[text]: Do you want to bet on that?

[text]: Guess who just got back in town.

[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…

[text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore!

[text]: Come on, come to the party!

[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.

[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.

[text]: I call bullshit.

[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you?

[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship.

[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.

[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.

[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!

[text] I know what you did last summer…

Sources: x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Drabble Challenge: 1-150

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!


  1. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
  2. “How long have you been standing there?”
  3. “I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”
  4. “Who gave you that black eye?”
  5. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
  6. “I just like proving you wrong.”
  7. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
  8. “Forget it. You fucking suck.”
  9. “Quit it or I’ll bite.”
  10. “If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re on the couch for a month!!”
  11. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
  12. “I’m pregnant.”
  13. “Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for a while.”
  14. “Take. It. Off.”
  15. “Well, you’re coming home with me whether you like it or not.”
  16. “I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.”
  17. “Stop it! It tickles!”
  18. “It’s okay to cry…”
  19. “And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.”
  20. “D..did you just make that noise?”
  21. “He’s a bad kisser.”
  22. “You can scream if you want.”
  23. “I didn’t know we were keeping track.”
  24. “We’re playing checkers. If you don’t like it, leave.”
  25. “One of them’s missing.”
  26. “Save some for me.”
  27. “Oh, fuck off.”
  28. “You’re still mad?”
  29. “Come over here and make me.”
  30. “You better watch yourself.”
  31. “Eat your lunch and you wouldn’t be hungry.”
  32. “Why did we have to have kids?”
  33. “Call on Line 1”
  34. “He creeped me out. I’m not gonna lie.”
  35. “I’m done! You can fix it!”
  36. “Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”
  37. “Where did he go?”
  38. “You leave whenever you feel like it.”
  39. “I forgot I was a single parent.”
  40. “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”
  41. “You’re going out dressed like that?”
  42. “For the hundredth time, I’m not your babysitter.”  
  43. “Frost the damn cupcakes.”
  44. “Well that’s the second biggest news I’ve heard all day.”
  45. “You look pretty hot in plaid.”  
  46. “I thought you were dead!”
  47. “I thought it was a one-night-stand…and now we’re married…”
  48. “We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”
  49. “Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.”
  50. “You know you want it, sweetheart.”
  51. “I’m your husband. It’s my job.”  
  52. “You just wanted them because the light up.”
  53. “That wasn’t very subtle.”
  54. “He thinks he’s a mind reader.”  
  55. “It’s just you and me tonight. I was thinking we could have a little fun.”
  56. “I don’t do hugs.”
  57. “Don’t talk anymore.”
  58. “I’m just a guy with a wife, two kids, and a Harley.”
  59. “How do I even put up with you?”
  60. “I said get rid of it.”
  61. “They didn’t just find out. They already knew!”
  62. “You’re not as quiet as you think you are.”
  63. “Can you just man up and change his diaper?”
  64. “Just don’t buy a goat. I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”
  65. “I have a secret.”
  66. “I won’t let you get hurt.”
  67. “You’re strong, baby. You have to be.”
  68. “He’s four years old!!”
  69. “I’ve had enough! I want to be alone!”
  70. “I can’t stand seeing you like this.”
  71. “Me and the boys will handle it.”
  72. “You’re competitive and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight.”
  73. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
  74. “You’re a dork, just like your father.”
  75. “Mind if I join you?”
  76. “Daddy!”
  77. “I lost our child.”
  78. “That’s my shirt. So is that..wait?”
  79. “My name isn’t Leslie…who’s Leslie?”
  80. “There’s a surprise upstairs for you.”
  81. “I’ll take care of it.”
  82. “I’m not your boss? Well then who is?”
  83. “You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”
  84. “Come on, baby, up to bed.”
  85. “They got you a present. Isn’t it sweet?”
  86. “Am I scaring you?”
  87. “Run! You said you’d work out with me!”
  88. “After everything…I’d still choose you.”
  89. “And when did you plan on telling me about this?”
  90. “Trust me.”
  91. “Scoot over a little bit, please.”
  92. “You’re so clingy, I love it.”
  93. “You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”
  94. “Did they hurt you?”
  95. “You’re cute when you’re all worried.”
  96. “Stop being grumpy. It’s lame.”
  97. “I don’t need a hero, I need a husband.”
  98. “Don’t shut me out.”
  99. “You got a cute butt.”
  100. “I just got out of the shower, I can’t dance. What if my towel falls off?”
  101. “Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.”
  102. “Do you really think I could ever replace you?”
  103. “Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”
  104. “…or we can chill in our underwear.”
  105. “You can’t make up for it by giving me a tic-tac.”
  106. “Keep pedaling and don’t stop, okay?”
  107. “You, me, popcorn, two liter Dr. Pepper, and a movie. You in?”
  108. “Have you seen my contacts?”
  109. “Life is a highway, and I’m always drunk. So I’m not driving.”
  110. “Quit stalling. Where’s your father?”
  111. “You can’t just hug me and think everything’s okay.”
  112. “Is he coming home?”
  113. “I prefer blondes.”
  114. “No more dogs. How hard it it to understand?”
  115. “I let you win.”
  116. “I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you’re doing isn’t fair.”
  117. “Can I do your hair?”
  118. “Your favorite superhero can’t be a villain.”
  119. “I told you not to jump on the bed!”
  120. “He’s pampering me, let him be.”
  121. “Ready or not, here I come.”
  122. “I’m worried about losing my job!”
  123. “Oh, did I scare you, big boy?”
  124. “Happy new year!”
  125. “Quit moving, I’m trying to sleep. Wait…are you…what?!”
  126. “You nap, I’ll stay awake.”
  127. “It’s turbulence. It’s normal.”
  128. “Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”
  129. “I’ll give you a massage.”
  130. “You fell asleep in the tub?!”
  131. “Are you doodling?”
  132. “We’re not playing strip poker. I don’t care what I said when I was drunk.”
  133. “Slushies aren’t just for kids, fuck society.”
  134. “Are you scared…Then why won’t you look at the screen?”
  135. “Enough with the pillow talk, I’m tired.”
  136. “You had a nightmare, tell me what it was about so I can fix it.”
  137. “We need groceries, not just junk food. You’re worse than the kids.”
  138. “Is this our closet? Or your closet?”
  139. “If I win, you do dishes for a week.”
  140. “Fist bumps are cooler than high-fives…”
  141. “Use your words.”
  142. “Hold my hand so he gets jealous.”
  143. “Ew, your hand is sweaty.”
  144. “Get out of my face before I hit you.”
  145. “I don’t care if your 4 or 40, you don’t hit people.”
  146. “You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves.”
  147. “Look! Fireflies!”
  148. “Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”
  149. “I just need ten minutes.”
  150. *Make Your Own*

Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!

Loki and Children

I have been having some thoughts about the original mythological Loki and the thought that has been on my mind most is this:

Loki is

1. Surprisingly great with kids

2. Is addicted to parenthood

Let me explain.

As to the first bit, well, yeah, it’s surprising. Or it should be at first glance. Because, seriously, this is fucking Loki. Standing in close proximity to him for longer than a minute is bound to result in theft, arson, a splash of bloodshed for color, and at least one confused party waking up in bed with the fucker. He’s a chaotic, manic, and generally hazardous force to be reckoned with.

To us. That is, adults.

Mortals, gods, giants, trolls, dwarves, et cetera–but only those who are mature.* *Read: there is Something to be Gained from conning, seducing, or otherwise messing with us. Whether it’s to save his own skin, or to get some sweet petty vengeance, or to steal a bauble, or to satisfy some carnal itch, or to just fuck up somebody’s day for the Hel of it, Loki only ever targets those he can take something worthwhile from. 

And what is there to take from kids? 

Plenty of folks on his extremely extensive Enemies List have children, of course. No one in the Norse mythos was especially mindful of dropping their seed. So. Children.

Children–easy to fool, easy to make a hostage, easy to charm and siphon their parents’ secrets and treasures from–should be great big bullseyes to the God of Mischief and Trickery and Assorted Other Unscrupulous Things. Yet there isn’t a single Edda or snippet of lore in which Loki makes cruel use of them. Not once. 

But what’s the big deal? Most of the rude and/or villainous characters in Norse mythology don’t bother with harassing kids either. Except in the case of stories like Loka Táttur.

Loka Táttur is a tale about how a farmer loses a bet with a vicious troll who swears to kill the farmer’s little boy. The farmer calls upon three gods in turn. Odin, Hoenir, and Loki. Odin and Hoenir both disguise the boy and hide him away, but the troll is too clever and each time manages to sniff out the boy’s hiding place. Ultimately it is Loki who hides the kid–pulling an Idunn-in-a-Nutshell gag and hiding him as a speck on the eye of a flounder in the water–and then, rather than stepping back as Odin and Hoenir did from their work, he sits in his boat and lets the troll see him.

The troll, being suspicious, asks what Loki’s business is. Only fishing, obviously. The troll demands to join him. Lo and behold, they bring up a wealth of flounders, including the one where the boy’s hidden. Loki manages to change the boy back to his true shape and hide the kid behind his back without the troll noticing. As Loki brings the boat back to shore, and to the farmer’s boathouse with the latter’s doors open, Loki tells the boy to run through the boathouse. He goes, the troll gives chase, and the troll becomes wedged in the entryway. 

At which point Loki proceeds to chop off the troll’s legs and stick an iron stake in the bastard’s skull. Then he walks the kid back home. The grand payoff for Loki after all this? 

The boy is safe. The troll is dead. The End.

Huh.

Now, much as Loki may have been the catalyst for a lot of corpses pre-Ragnarok–see his business with Thor getting his hammer back and leading more than one giant into a death trap–Loki is actually very rarely, if ever, one to get his hands dirty by killing a victim himself. Even Baldr was done in by an arrow he aimed with blind Hod’s fingers. So why did Loki personally orchestrate this plan in such a grisly way? For what gain?

What, other than the satisfaction of personally slaughtering the would-be child-killing prick troll?

In a less bloody narrative, we see his hand in getting Thialfi and Roskva, a pair of mortal siblings, taken into Thor’s service. While the exact ages of the two aren’t mentioned, they are young enough to still be in the care of their parents. When Thor and Loki are travelling it’s their father who invites them under their roof. Thor’s goats are slaughtered for the evening meal and–in some tellings–it is Loki who entices the son, Thialfi, into breaking a leg bone to taste the marrow. When morning comes and Thor resurrects his goats, one has a broken leg.

Thor’s visibly pissed—never ever a good thing–and so the family offers to make some compensation.

Loki, coughing through his hand: ThialfibroketheboneheshouldpledgeservicetoThor

Thialfi: Uh–

Loki, clearing his throat: Alsotakethesistertwoforonedeal

Rosvka: But I didn’t do anything—

Loki, en sotto voce: Kids, consider your options. Teensy mortal lifetime of toil on Midgard, harvesting dirt and snow on one hand. Potentially immortal lifetime, I don’t know, scrubbing giant blood off Mjolnir in Thor’s hall on Asgard on the other. Verdict?

Both: Sold.

Loki: Excellent! Really, Thor, you’re a master dealmaker, a born barterer, I’m in awe.

Thor: Wh—

Loki: AND WE’RE BACK TREKKING LETS GO

Cue laugh track.

Point being, Loki has been shown to purposefully go out of his way to help kids because…because. Yet how does this translate to the idea of him being good with kids?

I ask this purely hypothetically and am trying not to laugh as I do, because really. Really. How in the hell is a kid not going to be entertained by the Norse god of revelry and recreation?

Oh yeah, that bit’s often left off the résumé.

Loki, God of Mischief, is also God of Recreation. Play, in other words. Because playtime is a thing that is Chaotic rather than a product of Order, and so Loki is naturally all over it. There are some who even credit him with having added that trait to the first humans, Ask and Embla, while Odin, Vili, and Vé were carving them and breathing character into their souls.

On top of that, he’s also the god of flyting—poetic shit-talking.

So we have a shapeshifting, storytelling, magic-wielding, game-spinning, trickster god who can also teach young ears every bad word they could ever hope to learn, and he’s expected not to be a hit with kids? This is all without even mentioning the fact that Loki is a bit of a hyperactive attention hog all on his own. What better audience for him than a gaggle of credulous little onlookers who are too young to sneer at his antics rather than take delight in them? Children are wee balls of mischief themselves, muddled in with imagination and wonder and an eagerness to be wowed or made to laugh themselves into weeping.

All of which brings me to point number two:

Loki is a kidaholic.

Like, even though a lot of his and/or her sleeping around the Realms can be chalked up to an insane libido, there’s also just the sheer number of kids they’ve produced to factor in. Maybe more than even Odin or Thor could boast. At least half being born from Loki herself. Not because Loki was helpless against the workings of nature—it’s impossible to believe that Loki wasn’t smart enough or powerful enough to get around producing new Lokisons and Lokisdottirs with every other bedmate—but because Loki wants more kids. There will never be enough kids.

The guy’s got a case of severe paternal/maternal hoarding going on. I mean

Loki: I need another one.

Odin: You really don’t.

Loki: You’re right. I need two other ones.

Odin: I am positive that you do not.

Loki: Three. Triplets. Need them. Right now.

Odin: Loki.

Loki: Four? Four. Definitely four.

Odin: Loki, please.

Loki: Yeah, let’s go with four. I can give or get. I’ll flip a coin.

Odin: Loki, as Allfather, I am expressly forbidding you to impregnate or be impregnated for at least a century.

Loki: Fine.

Odin: …

Loki: …I’ll settle for three.

Odin: What did I just say?

Loki: Three’s a good number, isn’t it? All good things come in threes. You and your brothers—

Odin, fighting an aneurysm: You and your brothers—

Loki: So you agree!

Odin: I did not—

Loki: Three it is!

Odin: Loki—

Loki: Be back when I feel like it

Odin: Loki

Loki: Give my love to Sleipnir

Odin: LOKI—

Loki, pantsless, vaulting over the wall, cartwheeling towards Jötunheimr’s Ironwood forest: Bye

It’s in that Ironwood that he meets Angrboda and fathers a giant wolf, a giant snake, and the literal corpse-faced queen-goddess of the dead by her. Being that Loki’s scope of attractiveness/aesthetic acceptability is elastic enough to let all sorts of species between his legs, I find it hard to believe that his kids’ unique looks would repulse or even faze him. They’re his children. Therefore they’re great.

And we all know how that happy family ended up. Ditto his second family with Sigyn and his two little twin boys.

Enter Ragnarok, warfare, general Bad Times, and so on.

Anyway.

Comical as it is to envision a Loki who cringes at the notion of parenthood and/or fears his more monstrous children, I just don’t believe it lines up with what we know of the Loki of myth.

Myth Loki is a god who would spend hours entertaining a child, simply entertained that the child is entertained.

Myth Loki is also a god who would hunt down and methodically dismember whichever idiot thought it would be okay to make a child cry within said god’s earshot.

prompt list

feel free to request away
-
1. “Why are we at a strip club?”
2. “I’m sorry, you said what to your teacher?”
3. “Am I dead?”
4. “It’s always been you. You and only you.”
5. “If you loved me, you’d fight for it. If you loved me, you’d show it. If you loved me, you’d fight for me. Do you even know what love is?”
6. “Stay with me.”
7. “How about we put the gun down and talk about this?”
8. “I came here to kick ass and chew gum.. and I’m all out of gum.”
9. “Whatever it is I didn’t do it.”
10. “Don’t make me regret saving you.”
11. “Are you-are you flirting with me?”
12. “I’m proud of you. I’m proud of us.”
13. “I trusted you.”
14. “Am I supposed to be impressed?”
15. “Don’t tempt me.”
16. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
17. “Is that my shirt?”
18. “Would you quit moving around?” “It’s not my fault we’re tied up together!”
19. “Does your life revolve around embarrassing me?”
20. “I can’t do this anymore.”
21. “Do you smell burning?”
22. “Look at the sky.”
23. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
24. “I will not hesitate to murder you.”
25. “It’s simple really. Here let me show you.”
26. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”
27. “Hey have you seen my- Oh.”
28. “Go to hell.” “Already been but thanks for the invite.”
29. “Look at me.”
30. “Go away! I don’t ever want to see you again!”
31. “Don’t tell me how to calm down, you calm down!”
32. “Where did you get that?”
33. “Oh my gosh is that blood?”
34. “What are you doing here by yourself?”
35. “Here, take my hand. Everything is fine, just hold onto me and keep moving.”
36. “I don’t know who I am without you.”
37. “You don’t need to protect me.”
38. “Stop looking at me like that!”
39. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
40. “All I wanted was the truth.”
41. “I had a nightmare about you, and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”
42. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
43. “I told you not to fall in love with me.”
44. “I forgive a lot, but I never forget what was said and done.”
45. “Again?”
46. “Please shut up. Just shut up.”
47. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
48. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
49. “Go on, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
50. “I just want to be alone right now.”
51. “Those things you said yesterday.. did you really mean them?”
52. “Just say it is okay. I just need to hear you say that.”
53. “I love you and I am terrified.”
54. “Promise me you’ll come back.. I need you to promise me.”
55. “That’s distracting.”
56. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?”
58. “This is by far the most stupid plan you’ve ever created. Of course I’m in.”
59. “You did this for me?”
60. “I’m afraid this conversation is going to end in goodbye.”
61. “Would you just hold still?”
62. “We’re running low on time here.”
63. “You’ve got something on your cheek.”
64. “I’m not bothering you, am I?”
65. “Really, right now?”
66. “Wait, you’re my soulmate?”
67. “I really wish you told me your mother was in town.”
68. “You’re wrong and I’ll prove it.”
69. “I can never say no to a picnic.”
70. “I could tell it was your favorite book from all the notes you wrote in the margins.”
71. “I never imagined myself in a wedding dress.”
72. “I’m yours, in every way possible.”
73. “We’re not just friends, and you know it.”
74. “Well. Yell, scream, say something, anything.”
75. “Where do you think you’re going?”
76. “Nobody thinks what I think.”
77. “Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself.”
78. “Just please be my best friend right now, and not the person I confessed my love to.”
79. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”
80. “Make me.”
81. “Well if you insist.”
82. “We’ll get through this, I promise.”
83. “I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies.”
84. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
85. “Sometimes I really dislike you.”
86. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
87. “It’s too early for this.”
88. “But then I’d have to put pants on..”
89. “If my parents knew what I was doing they’d kill me.”
90. “Are you trying to make me to hate you? Because it’s working.”
91. “Don’t open those till later!”
92. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
93. “To be honest I could care less.”
94. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
95. “Hold my hand, we have to make this look convincing!”
96. “I’ll make it right for you.”
97. “When you smile I fall apart.”
98. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
99. “I really don’t know why I’m crying.”
100. “I won’t let you fall.”
101. “I’m like 20% sure this plan work. There’s an 80% chance we could die horribly and violently, but this plan is solid, I swear.”
102. “I’m not happy here.”
103. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
104. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
105. “Well if you’re up for the challenge.”
106. “I’ve moved on.”
107. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you don’t think I can see you.”
108. “If I die, I am coming back to haunt you.”
109. “If you don’t want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.”
110. “If you walk out that door don’t you dare think about coming back.”
111. “Is that a challenge?”
112. “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”
113. “I made you cupcakes cause I knew you liked them.”
114. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
115. “I mean, it could be worse.”
116. “This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
117. “This was all a dream?”
118. “It’s not what it looks like.”
119. “It’s okay I’m here for you.”
120. “Wait, you did what again?”
121. “Just talk to me.”
122. “Just leave me alone!”
123. “Let him go! It’s me who you want!”
124. “My parents asked about you again.”
125. “Make a wish.”
126. “None of this makes sense.”
127. “None of that matters anymore.”
128. “Wait this is your handwriting? I thought this was hieroglyphics.”
129. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.”
130. “Oh my god! You’re in love with her!”
131. “Please don’t give up on me.”
132. “Please listen to me.”
133. “Please don’t go.”
134. “Please.. I love you.”
135. “Please, take me instead!”
136. “Please don’t leave me.”
137. “Please don’t argue with me.”
138. “Promise me you’ll take care of her/him.”
139. “Promise me you’ll take better care of yourself.”
140. “Promise me you’ll stay.”
141. “Why are you taking so many photos?”
142. “I didn’t know you could play.”
143. “You can sing?”
144. “Teach me how to play?”
145. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “Because you’re wearing two different shoes.”
146. “Want to talk about it?”
147. “I just really miss talking with you.”
148. “Things don’t always turn out the way we want them to.”
149. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”
150. “You made me what?”
151. “Times up!”
152. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
153. “We could’ve had it all.”
154. “Are you sure you two aren’t married?”
155. “Well.. don’t keep me waiting.”
156. “Please look at me.”
157. “What have I ever done to you?”
158. “What are you doing here?”
159. “When are you going to realize I don’t care?”
160. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people stop to roll their eyes or call you crazy.. even then. Especially then!”
161. “Where did that cat come from?”
162. “Where did you get this from?”
163. “Why are you up so early?”
164. “Why can’t they see they’re meant for each another?”
165. “Why did you choose me?”
166. “Why don’t you say it to my face?”
167. “Why couldn’t you come to me with your problems?”
168. “Would you stop for a second so I can say something to you for once!”
169. “You need to calm down.”
170. “I know you told me to stop thinking about you, but I can’t get you out of my mind.”
171. “You are nothing like them.”
172. “You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”
173. “I never believed in love till I met you.”
174. “I don’t need a Prince Charming saving me.”
175. “You can’t sit on the sidelines your entire life!”
176. “You deserve so much better.”
177. “You did all of this for me?”
178. “You take my love for granted.”
179. “You haven’t even touched your food.. what’s going on?”
180. “You know my name?”
181. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this on my own.”
182. “Stay the night. Please.”
183. “What did you say?”
184. “Why are you so annoying?”
185. “Don’t ask me that.”
186. “Don’t ever mention that again.”
187. “What’s with the box?”
188. “Say it!”
189. “Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”
190. “Did you do this on purpose?”
191. “Don’t give me that look! You started it!”
192. “It’s not fair!”
193. “I could kill you right now!”
194. “Don’t you dare give me that look!”
195. “Screw you!”
196. “Just shut up already.”
197. “You are so infuriating.
198. “Listen to me!”
199. “I dare you!”
200. “Please pretend to be my girlfriend/boyfriend.”
201. “You think I’m insensible enough to fall for that?”
202. “I’m not going to apologize. I can’t anymore.”
203. “Is this seat taken?”
204. “It’s midnight, what do you want?”
205. “You are strangely comfortable.”
206. “Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”
207. “I don’t know how to feel any more.”
208. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
209. “Just marry me already.”
210. “Did I stutter?”
211. “Did I just say that out loud?”
212. “Did you hear that.”
213. “Don’t say you love me.”
214. “Don’t you ever do that again.”
215. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
216. “I try so hard to forget you, but every single time it comes back to you.”
217. “H-How long have you been standing there?”
218. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
219. “I didn’t ask for any of this! But do you know what I put up with it all? Because I love you!”
220. “I just need you here with me right now.”
221. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you and- Oh screw it!”
222. “We can’t lose each other, we just can’t.”
223. “I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”
224. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt.”
225. “I waited and waited, but you never came back!”
226. “I’m sick of feeling useless!”
227. “Is that what you call an apology?”
228. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”
229. “Somebody’s in love!”
230. “It’s not what it looks like.”
231. “Just hold me.”
232. “You’re the best part of me.”
233. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”
234. “Can I hold your hand?”
235. “Let’s go get lost somewhere.”
236. “I just don’t know how to look forward anymore.”

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 5

Great team work, amigos. Here’s is part 5! 

  1. “Why is there a naked Ken Barbie doll tied up in your room?” “Goddammit, ____! I told you not to go in there!”
  2. “No Candice, I am NOT selling you my soul again.”
  3. “why is the fairy holding a gun.”
  4. “Jesus Christ on a boat made of crackers, what are you doing outside of the pod ship again?”
  5. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT” “He said I couldn’t… and I thought it was a challenge…”
  6. “How the fuck did you dye the ocean ORANGE?!”
  7. “Why are the roses green?”
  8. “Great, you made death angry.”
  9. ”この___だ!”
  10. “That better be a press on tattoo.”
  11. “If you only listened to the nature, you could learn more than humans ever passed to us.”
  12. “So, we’re dead?” “Well, kind of… yeah.”
  13. “Remind me again why you have a centaur tied up in your truck?”
  14. “Can you stop staring into my soul every time we meet? I feel exposed.”
  15. “You do realize that he wasn’t breathing when he spoke to us, right?”
  16. “I liked you better when you where possessed by that demon friend of yours”
  17. “You’re absolutely in love with him and have been for at least 2 years if you don’t go tell him how you feel I swear to god I will”
  18. “There are worse things in life than death.” “Nobody asked you,Lucifer.” “Just saying.”
  19. “Well, it’s wonderful that you’re having a sexuality crisis, but in case you forgot, we’re kind of in the middle of STOPPING THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!”
  20. “Why is there a horse crashing on our couch?” “Oh, that’s Satan.”
  21. “Why would I hang out with you? You’re so incompetent! Your sacrifice to the faeries was so insufficient!”
  22. “Where the hell did the dragon go?! He was right here!”
  23. “Ok, the recipie calls for two cups of lemon and a cup of sugar, but all I see are cough syrup and battery acid…”
  24. “What do you mean today’s not a Tuesday?!”
  25. “So everyone on Earth had the same dream as me?”
  26. “you know what will solve that? Scotch.”
  27. “I didn’t ask for this!” “… you didn’t?”
  28. “How is it that the least likely outcome is always the outcome I receive?!” “You should go buy a lottery ticket.”
  29. “Guys, i know you’re all busy, but if any of you wants the dinner done, i will need my arm back”
  30. “Of COURSE I care about you. That’s why I sold your soul on the black market.”
  31. “JOHN I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF YOUR PLAN” “AS AM I ALEX, AS AM I”
  32. “What?”
  33. “I will take the concept of my rage, transform it into a physical weapon, and use it to BEAT YOU TO DEATH!”
  34. “Did you really HAD to slap the shark?!” “I mean… If you want me to kick it-”
  35. “I don’t care, your tamagotchi dying is not an excuse to wake me up before noon!”
  36. “You are telling me that the socks with hearts that I’ve been mocking since the first day you arrived are, in fact, what keep you alive?” “Yes!” “What?”
  37. “So you really want me to believe that you’re actually from the future?”
  38. “Dude. What have you done. Now we HAVE TO save those aliens!”
  39. “Can you just stop?” “God no, why would I do that?”
  40. “Hey at least I get laid doing it”
  41. “While that’s a lovely story, it doesn’t quite explain the fires.”
  42. “Dude, please tell me that you planned to deal with her guardian angel when you killed her.”
  43. “That’s such a stupid idea… let’s do it.”
  44. “What do you MEAN this just HAPPENS?!” “All the time, actually.”
  45. “I swear, one day you’ll kill us both.” “Oh please, I’ve never been that reckless.” “…” “That was ONE TIME!”
  46. “Why did you buy a nuke?!” “Why wouldn’t I? It was on sale”
  47. “I am fueled purely by rage and instant coffee.”
  48. “How are you a million years old, bit you can’t even remember who George Washington is?”
  49. “Because I gave not, a single shit.”
  50. “Is that a marijuana? In my good  Christian suburbs?!”
  51. “WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE?? YOU NEVER USE THE DRAGON, YOU IDIOT”
  52. “I don’t care if he’s a unicorn, NO ONE EATS MY MINI EGGS!”
  53. “Jesus Christ Lewis! *Again* with the Snails?” “It’s Thursday! You said Thursday’s were okay!”
  54. “Here’s a story for you. I woke up in Vegas as a makeup guru. I was REALLY drunk.”
  55. “If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you…WAIT, NO IT WAS A JOKE, STOP!”
  56. “You’re kinda like hitchhiking Ghost Busters, aren’t you?”
  57. “For gods sake, ditch the fanny pack”
  58. “Take the tomato!” “No, I don’t want the tomato” “JUST TAKE THE TOMATO”
  59. “‘That’s no moon!’ Everyone  remembered Jimmy’s words that night as he scolded his friends for half-heartedly pulling their pants down.”
  60. “WHY IS THERE A BEAR IN MY BATHROOM”
  61. “Can you believe it?” “Just barely.”  "Man, I never thought he would ACTUALLY throw the chair.“
  62. "What did you THINK girl scout cookies were made of?”
  63. “Really? That’s not what I heard from Mrs. Sanchez across the hall!”   “Mom she’s literally a possessed cow, why do you listen to her?”
  64. “You got the rubber chicken, cheese whiz, and dish soap?” “Yep” “Ok, let’s do this!”
  65. “Are you building a life-sized Godzilla at 3am again?”
  66. “Don’t get pissy at me, YOU’RE the one who didn’t say what kind of tea bags to get for the clown!”
  67. "So YOU’RE the guy the math textbooks warned us about.”
  68. “Where’s our cat?” “I thought you were responsible for it?..”
  69. “What do you mean I’m half demon”
  70. “why are you duct taping a cat to the ceiling?” “aesthetic.”
  71. “Hope is a lie. So is philosophy, morality, language in general, the sky, dogs, and about a third of the population of Michigan.”
  72. “So let me get this straight. You filled a Darth Vader costume… With cats?”
  73. “How did I die this time?” “Well, it was pretty quick. I missed it, but from what I can tell, you convinced an entire school of 4000 people to throw watermelons at you all at the same time.” “…And?” “The impact of the watermelons threw you back a couple hundred kilometers and you landed in the ocean…inside the mouth of a particularly hungry shark.” “Goddamn it I wanted this death to be metal!”
  74. “Yesterday I learned that my childhood friend was a demon.”
  75. “Please tell me you said 'What bothers me most.’ "Yes? What the hell did you think I said?” Well….it kinda sounded like “His father’s meatloaf.’
  76. "Goddammit, why won’t you die?!”  "I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! “
  77. "I’d appreciate it if you fucking stopped, thanks.”
  78. “What the hell is this?” “It’s jello, you eat it”
  79. "You didn’t” “I did and I made them watch”
  80. "Why in the hell did you think this was a good idea?” “Look, YOU try saying 'No’ to not just a primordial deity, but my little sister as well.” “…Ok, you got me there.”
  81. “How do you know that it’s supposed to look like this?”
  82. “Are you making *tea*?!” “Well what else am I supposed to do?” “I don’t know maybe STOP THE MONSTER THATS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!”
  83. “Why are you in a dress?” “Lucifer wanted to have a tea party. You don’t say no to Lucifer”
  84. “So you’re telling me that aliens invaded while I was on vacation?”
  85. “I appreciate the gesture but I prefer my horses fried rather than alive.”
  86. *whining* “But Mooommm, I don’t want to save the woooorrld!”
  87. “Now I know not to cry there”
  88. “What if we DIDNT kill the king every Thursday” “Good idea we’ll kill him on Fridays instead.”
  89. “So you’re a zombie now?” “I guess I am” “So what are you gonna do about it?” “*shrug* I don’t know….”
  90. “I guess you weren’t joking when you said that the world is ruled by ants”
  91. “When I die, tell everyone 'I told you so.’”
  92. “You’re not real… You’re only in those silly books!” “Correction, my dear, you’re the fictional one.”
  93. “There was no 'free pie’ you moron! You stole it!”
  94. “Okay, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my pet rock has gained sentience, just like we planned! The bad news is that it turns out he’s evil and is currently building a rock army with the intent of taking over the world. aaaand, he’s trying to get Mt. Everest on his side.”
  95. “Why is our baby on a wanted poster?”
  96. “Zombies are people too, Mom!”
  97. “… I’m gonna go for it. Hold my head for me real quick, and don’t put it on a mannequin like you did last time.”
  98. “Fascinating… I was unaware that was physically plausible.” “I know right.”
  99. “ACHOO!” “Bless you.” “No sorry, that won’t work on me.”
  100. “Bye, Felicia. Take you and your cat ears! GO!”

Prepare yourselves, because starting from tomorrow we will be making ‘100 Prompts That Will Make You Cry’ lists. Hope you enjoy this one. Which prompt do you like the most?

Sexting (Jimin smut)

Originally posted by minblush


Summary: On a lonely night, you decide to sign up for an anonymous sexting site. Of course you are matched with the notorious fuckboy you’re constantly trying to avoid. Park fucking Jimin.

Themes: Sexting, Fuckboy Jimin, College AU.

Pairing: You x Jimin

Word Count: 4k

This fic contains: Explicit and graphic depictions of smut, sex over the phone, swearing. 


ENTER USERNAME:

Cleopatra123

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

Male/Female

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

I’d rather not say/enter here:

WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?

Decent conversation/making friends/finding a language buddy/other

PLEASE INDICATE YOUR AGE PREFERANCE:

19-24

CLICK ‘CHAT’ TO BE MATCHED WITH A PARTNER!

YOU HAVE BEEN MATCHED WITH ‘THOR562’.

THOR562: 21 years old- Seoul, South Korea- also interested in ‘other’.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHAT?

Yes/No

YOU ARE NOW IN A CHAT WITH THOR562, ENJOY!


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

This is kinda random but this idea has been stuck in my head: what if mc just liked to go out and sit on the roof at night to look at the stars and one night their s/o catches them (I'd imagine Jumin would flip his Shit tbh)

need some cute ass fluff in my life so im doing this sorry

Yoosung

  • when he first finds MC, he doesnt say anything
  • he just stares at them, smiling
  • god, i am so lucky
  • how can just the mere sight of someone make me so, so happy?
  • i swear to god, i’ll never get tired of this view…
  • “hey there, cutie. you looked cold”
  • Yoosung sits down beside MC, wrapping his arms around them along with a blanket
  • they’re both inside the blanket together, snuggling on the roof while MC stares up at the stars and Yoosung looks mostly at them
  • he rests his head on MC’s shoulders and closes his eyes, soaking up the moment with them
  • “Yoosung? you’re not gonna fall asleep, are you?”
  • as Yoosung answers he wraps both arms around MC, smiling and breathing in the night air deeply
  • “so what if i do? even sleeping on the roof is warm with you~”
  • MC giggles a little and pulls the blanket over him more, resting their head on his

Zen

  • he sees MC and instantly has to join them
  • “hey baby, whatchya doin?”
  • he would catch them by surprise and talk in a cute voice
  • “oh, Zen! i was just looking up at the stars…”
  • “do you care if i join you?”
  • MC scoots over and pats the space next to them
  • “of course not!”
  • so Zen climbs out to the roof and sits next to MC, putting an arm around them and rubbing their arm in an attempt to warm em up
  • him and MC look up at the sky together in silence for some time before Zen decides to turn his attention to MC
  • after a few seconds of staring, they turn to look at Zen, too
  • “what is it?”
  • Zen looks into their eyes for a second of two, smiling, and leans forward to kiss them
  • MC can feel the smile in his kiss, and shudders a little when his hand touches their face
  • “nothing, i just wanted to do that” Zen says almost mater-of-factly through his smile, then turns back to the night sky
  • MC gets all flustered even though kissing Zen is something they do all the time, and he pulls them closer, running his fingers through their hair

Jaehee

  • as soon as she sees MC, she runs into her room to grab a jacket
  • “MC, what are you doing on the roof? do you need a jacket?”
  • Jaehee awkwardly climbs on the roof and drapes the jacket over their shoulders
  • “i was just looking at the stars, Jaehee! sorry if i worried you…”
  • “im just worried about you getting sick”
  • “i know, i know…”
  • they sit in silence for a few moments before Jaehee speaks up again
  • “you know, they way you look at the night sky is quite endearing”
  • MC feels warm suddenly
  • “r-really?”
  • Jaehee scoots closer to MC, wrapping an arm around them
  • she quickly pecks their cheek before looking up at the stars again
  • “really”

Jumin

  • oh my god, what is MC doing out there?!
  • they’re going to catch a cold like that!
  • “darling? why are you on the roof at this time of night? and in your pajamas?”
  • when MC turns their face is red, and they nervously pushing some loose hairs behind their ear
  • “oh, J-Jumin! i was just looking up at the starts…they’re so pretty tonight”
  • Jumin’s heart softens with MC’s words, and his concerned look instantly melts into a smile
  • “well if they’re as pretty as you say, i’d like to see them myself”
  • this is where Jumin Han, still wearing his suit, awkwardly climbs onto the roof through the window
  • MC giggles as they watch him
  • “okay, im here”
  • “finally”
  • Jumin tries to fix his hair, smirking at MC in response to their joke
  • he takes off his suit jacket and drapes it over MC’s shoulders
  • he sits next to MC, hugging his knees as they stare up at the night sky
  • as much as he wants to join them, he just cant take his eyes off of MC for even a second
  • “Jumin! you arent even looking up!”
  • “hmm?”
  • he hadnt even realized he was staring
  • he reaches out, pulling MC close to him and wrapping an arm around their shoulder
  • “i guess i just love the way the stars look reflected in your eyes”
  • as Jumin pulls MC in, he places a soft, warm kiss on their cheek, then nestles his head into their neck
  • the sensation tickles MC a bit, but they just kiss his head and continue to look up at the stars

707

  • “come here often?”
  • when MC turns toward the window they see Seven leaning out of it, his arm resting on the window sill
  • “only when there arent any clouds”
  • Seven climbs onto the roof as if he’s done it a million times
  • “i like to come out here too, but mostly just to get away from you”
  • MC smiles and playfully pushes on Seven’s arm 
  • Seven responds by wrapping both arms around MC and pulling them in between his legs
  • he unzippes his jacket, then zips it back up around the both of them, hugging MC from behind inside the big hoodie
  • “what the heck are you doing?”
  • “you looked cold! what else was i supposed to do?”
  • Seven rests his chin on MC’s shoulder, looking up with them
  • he points out stars, planets, and constellations
  • he even has this cute trick where he knows where all the letters of the alphabet are in the sky, so he can spell MC’s name in the stars
  • after taking about stars and space and aliens for awhile, Seven decides to end the conversation by littering MC’s cheek, neck, and shoulder with little kisses
  • “love you so, so much. you know that, right?”
  • MC awkwardly cranes their neck so they can look at Seven
  • “i love you too, more than anything”
  • Seven places a small, uncomfortable kiss on MC’s lips before they turn around again, and he wraps his arms around them even tighter and pulls then closer as he returns to resting his chin on their shoulder

can u tell how much a crave physical affection? lol

Give Me Polyamorous Power Couple Hamliza Or Give Me Death

~Eliza growing up having constant crushes on both men and women and trying to articulate what she wanted to Angelica but never being able to explain it the way she wanted

~When she’s in a relationship: “I want her” “But you’re dating Peter” “I want him too” “But you have to choose” “Why do I have to choose?” When she’s not in a relationship: “Ooh, Liza’s got a crush! Spill it!” “Well, there’s Arthur and his girlfriend, and Sally and her girlfriend, and Jason, and Mary…” “Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, how many crushes can you have?” “Shush, I’m not done”

~When she meets Alexander and quickly falls into her most serious relationship ever she expects the multiple crush thing to stop (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t)

~Eliza feels like a horrible girlfriend because she’s so happy with Alex but then Susan from work will start up a conversation with her in the break room and she’s instantly all heart eyes

~Tearfully she admits it to Alex one night and he’s thrilled because “no there’s nothing wrong with you I promise!!!! You’re just polyamorous!!!!”

~They spend the rest of the night talking about it

~Eliza needs some time to adjust since she’s spent so much time trying to push it aside that she doesn’t really know what else to do but Alex is very helpful

~The first time she tells him about Susan he’s instantly chanting ask her out over and over until she’s laughing and blushing at his antics

~Half a year later and Eliza is subtly sending Alex updates from her dates while he sends her multiple thumbs up emojis and does the same with his own

~She also sets up him and Angelica and when Angelica gets confused about it she’s like you need to stop sacrificing yourself, let yourself be happy

~They share embarrassing stories about him with each other

~He meets John and them after Eliza in this one and it’s all separately

~Hercules comes first because Eliza’s father invited them to a fancy dinner party and Alex needs a suit and since he’s not well educated on these things yet she comes along to help

~Hercules is instantly smitten with Alex and Alex is instantly 😍 because “Eliza look at him!!! He looks like a damn quarterback but he’s so sweet and gentle!!!!” “Either you ask him out or I will”

~Hercules not-so-subtly likes guiding Alex around even though he thinks he’s being smooth

~“Alex there was really no point for him to put his hands on your waist like that, he could’ve told you to just move to the side one step” “… Yeah but did you see how well they fit there he could probably lift me up so easily” “Wow you’re so easy” “Do I need to bring up that cute barista the other day” “pLEASE DO WE HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND”

~By the end of the time there Alex is going out to lunch with a pleased but confused Hercules and Eliza is eagerly awaiting every cute picture and text

~From then on he has to deal with both Eliza and Alex stealing his clothes but he can’t really fight since they both look so cute in his sweaters

~The rest come really quickly after that

~Lafayette meets Hercules before the others because they come in requesting a special dress to be made and Hercules is Gone

~“You… You want a dress with a full skirt… But when you pick at a stitch on it the dress falls down into a ball gown?” “Yes, exactly!” “Can I ask why?” “Why? Well, chéri, it’s because I must ensure that I always am prepared for any eventuality and at the top of that list is a need to always look beautiful but entirely unattainable. Oh, that reminds me! It needs to be floor length with my being in eight-inch heels, I have a pair with me so you can measure accurately” “Oh holy shit”

~It takes them exactly one weekend to be brought into the relationship (Alex sees them and instantly is stunned into silence, Eliza flirts and within two minutes they’re already co-conspirators)

~John is next and he struggles with his sexuality and anything that comes from it so he’s very much in the closet when they meet

~John and Alex immediately are best friends and Alex tries asking him out but John very quickly refuses him and Alex takes a step back

~The combined power of the four of them helps to bring John out of his shell even though he’s very shy about it all so they’re respectful and let him suggest everything and move their relationship forward in his own time

~The first time he asks to spend the night with all of them there’s a little fight over who gets to sleep next to him

~Eliza and Hercules win, Lafayette and Alex pout

~Aaron and Theodosia Burr AKA Theo, Eliza, and Lafayette kill and the rest of them are literally powerless against them

~Dates are really fun with them because now there’s enough people to go on group dates and everyone can have a supposed other instead of it being just the mess of them (They still do it as the whole of them, its just more fun to have the people think they’re all separate couples then watch as they get more affectionate as the night goes on)

~Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Washingtons

~George favors Alex and Laf, Martha favors Eliza, Angelica, and Theo, George is platonic with John, Hercules, Aaron, and the girls, Martha is platonic with everyone but her girls and sometimes Alex and Lafayette (She likes showing off that she’s perfectly capable of stealing them away from him but is graciously letting them stay with him. George jokes back and tries to rally Laf and Alex to joke too but they need time to come back to that plane of existence)

~WEEKEND TRIPS AT MOUNT VERNON WITH EVERYONE

~Eliza and Alex get so many kisses and cuddles since they’re the heart of it all

~Alex dragging everyone outside to look at the stars

~Lots of hot chocolate when Alex drags them outside

~Lots of spiked hot chocolate when they think Martha isn’t looking

~She totally knows since John keeps giggling but she let’s them have fun

~THOMAS JEFFERSON

~Eliza starts flirting with him to bug Alex

~Eventually she starts flirting with him for Alex no matter what he says

~“Look at the tension good god” “Betsey I swear…”

~Eliza has a near constant stream of frustrated texts from George

~“Eliza I’m suffering” “What is it this time, dear?” “They’re arguing again and they look two seconds away from making out” “I’m working on it. Have patience” “I can’t have patience anymore I can’t have meetings because this happens in every one”

~All the hate sex

~All the Jeffmads+Alex hate sex (I would include Aaron but the frustrations are over Washington but Aaron knows why Alex is favored by him and has worked out his own balance with George so he’s not jealous)

~Alex pulls them into the dynamic and they finally understand

~George doesn’t mind them finding out, he’s just glad the tension is gone (Though he has cut more than a few work days short because he walked in on them fucking on his desk because Alex wanted to tease him and he can’t handle that so he just walks out)

~There’s multiple incidents where they try to tease Angelica but she is Not Having It and takes great joy in showing them why

~Angelica Schuyler is my queen she wouldn’t handle any bullshit from them

~MARIA REYNOLDS PROTECTION SQUAD

~Elizabeth “If you touch one hair on my girl’s head I will personally kick your ass from here to California don’t test me” Schuyler

~Obviously she moves in with them immediately and spends every night sleeping between Alex and Eliza

~When things become too much in the city Eliza and her take a trip down to Mount Vernon for a girls-only retreat

~Maria and John never start a romantic relationship but they hit it off very quickly since they’re both abuse survivors (Her with James, him with his father) and John is more healed than she is but there’s wounds he’s still licking and sometimes its nice to just spend the day in silence with someone who understands that company is more important than conversation

~Eliza and Alex creating a crazy huge family for themselves which has confusing interconnecting romantic and platonic relationships but they love it so much they can’t describe it

~Whenever anyone asks about it Alex shows them the graph he’s made for them all

~Everyone has a specific color and one poor soul asks why he chose those colors and spends the next 45 minutes listening to him talking about why each of his signifs was given that very color choice

anonymous asked:

Hey! I have a kind of random question: what korean beauty products do u use?? I am really curious bc I need recommendations? Sorry; it's a weird question.

It’s a great question, don’t worry! I can understand that, I love finding something new (and if that something new fits me perfectly then I’m super happy so!)

Sweats, I have a lot of stuff though so it might be a bit long-ish…

I’ll just start with skincare because it’s always what I’m looking for first:

The Face Shop Rice water bright rich cleansing oil (from normal to dry skin). The first cleansing oil I actually tried. It’s a pleasure using it, the smell is amazing, I will definitely buy it again. Removes make-up well for me, but I’ve read people saying it has a bit of a trouble re-moving very strong make-up, but since I don’t use it I’ll give it an A+.

• I have a few foams; one from The Face Shop as well - Rice water bright cleansing foam. Smells amazing as well, I nearly finished it. I have one stored I want to try, so not yet sure if I buy it again, but I love this one too. Also I have one from Skinfood Egg white pore foam - I think I’ll buy this one. These two might be a bit drying to your skin if using without a uh..bubble maker? Not sure how that thing called in english. It dried me out, I made that thing that helps making richer foam, now I don’t have any dryness so! Skinfood will probably be great for oilier skin.

• Theeen I have The Secret key’s Milk brightening toner. Still not sure about it, I broke out a lot when I was using it, but I am not sure if it was from it or from..period, I’m sorry, Still haven’t retried it, so don’t have an opinion except that I think the smell is pretty good.

• UUH i bought a lot of creams in the search for the perfect one. I have Tony Moly Pure eco snail moisture gel (smells fantastic, used it for the face a lot, didn’t break out, nothing really changed nor for the worst nor for the better, now use it mostly on my hands); I also recently bought Mizon’s All in one Snail repair cream (because I REALLY REALLY want a few marks to fade); comparing to Tony Moly’s it does make skin very soft to the touch. But I’ve been using it for like, six days, so other than that I can’t say how effective it’s going to be. Doesn’t quite smell, pleasant to use. Depending on how it goes next, I think I’ll re-buy it. I also use Aloe Soothing Gel by Nature Republic. used it all the time before i bought Mizon’s, never broke out. for now uh.. I kind of use it after shaving. HUGE container. I wonder if I will be able to finish it before it expires. Next (GOd, there are so many) Skinfood Fresh Apple sparkling water cream. Use it before make-up. It’s supposed to keep your skin matte, I love the smell of it, nice to use. My skin is pretty normal, so I don’t know how much it actually does what it’s supposed to. I’ll try it in summer and find out:”D

• nooow MASKS. oh, my love. sweet, sweet masks. I think my AAABsolute favourite is Skinfood’s Black sugar wash off mask. A present from my friend. Basically a scrub that you let to stay on your skin after you scrubbed. Smells amazing, leaves skin suuuper soft afterwards, will definitely 100% buy it again. Theeen I have Volcanic ash pore pack by secret nature. After using it the skin seems a bit brighter, a bit softer. Nothing too outstanding, but it’s fairly pleasant overall. I wanted to try Holika Holika’s Soda Pore Cleansing Bubble mask BECAUSE O MY GOD. BUBBLES. ON. MY FACE. BUBBLES. I swear I’m a child. I WAS REALLY CURIOUS OKAY. Pretty much the same effect as with Volcanic ash pore. Probably one time fun for me. (I mean. one bottle time, ahah). Theeen I wanted to try Elizavecca’s Hell Pore Clay mask, I think it was the first mask I bought. Wasn’t painful for me, skin is pretty soft afterwards, but I don’t think it does much for my skin? Probably because I don’t quite have that much to push out. It doesn’t quite catch it. Can remove dead skincells though, I’m sure. God. IS this all? No. I recently bought Holika Holika Honey Sleeping pack (I have canola); I’m still not sure, I had quite a big zit when I went to bed with it, in the morning it was, like, much paler and didn’t feel on my skin. Was it the mask’s doing? was the zit supposed to fade away? Not yet sure, since I bought it very recently with mizon. For masks I think that’s all. Kinda sticky because of the honey, but smells nice.

• I have one emulsion by The Saem Urban Eco Harakeke. Moisturising, smells good, make-up goes smoothly on it.

• the last for skincare: Ciracle pore control blackhead off sheet. I only used it twice, and it’s quite tricky and I guess takes some used to. basically does the job of steaming the face without steam and probably works a bit better. Pushes out everything from your nose, you just have to remove it. Didn’t push out as much as I’ve seen on pictures and in reviews for me, but it does it’s job. Nose is as smooth as a jellyfish. SO SMOOTH afterwards.

FINALLY I THINK WE ARE DONE WITH SKINCARE. OH DEAR GOD, not a million of products have passed.

Nooooow up to Make-uuuup~~ 

• BB CREAMS. I swear on those. I. am. a nerd. Before I tried any bb or cc creams that are sold in our stores they never fit me ever. They always felt so greasy and dark for me. I don’t know, I had the curse of bb creams and now i think it’s finally gone. The first korean one I tried was Aritaum Full Cover. The coverage IS nice, can be a bit shiny in a certain lighting, and feels pretty heavy on the skin. I think my problem with it was mostly my dislike for powders, so it felt sticky, but I think with people who DO use powders it’s going to work better. After that I tried Holika Holika Petit BB (Moisturizing). MY LOVE STARTED. I love how it feels, in certain lighting it makes the skin seem absolutely perfect, pleasant on daylight, doesn’t fell like a mask on a skin. Has universal tone. The Last one is CC, actually, but not less amazing. I’ve been using mostly it recently, CC Color change blemish balm. This one is MAAGIC because it’s like greenish-white, and then you put it on the face, and it turns into your face and it’s MAGIC i swear I love how it feels(doesn’t) on the skin, the coverage is decent for me, Baaaarely noticeable on the skin. I’ll definitely buy holika holika and this one again.

• as for concealers I have Aritaum Full cover liquid concealer for undereye (the tube is huge for concealer, I’m not sure if I will ever finish it since it takes such a minimum for me); and Facetone Creamy Tip concealer for any spots. Good coverage, most likely I’ll buy it as well.

• I have Sweet Cotton pore cover base by Holika Holika, still not sure about it, doesn’t quite hide pores much, at least for me, but the make up does seem to stay longer with it. I’ve read the reviews for people to whom it really worked in regard of hiding pores, so! Might just be me, striving for absolute perfection.

• I have A’pieu Cheek Chok blush. Overall nice, but I think it’s a bit too pigmented for me and it seems to be a bit hard to blend. Creamy texture, but not quite as creamy as I wanted.

• last but not least… tints. Fresh cherry tint, pleasant texture, but I think I picked a bit of a wrong shade for me, though if I use it with The Saem’s Saemmul Real Tint (it’s orangish) it gives a fantastic effect. I also have the latter in dark purple. Love those tints, stay forever (especially the dark one - which is also quite hard to wash off) surprise, tint leaves a tint! :”D Love these, gotta buy again most likely. If I ever finish those, ahah.

I’ve been writing this message for so long. I’m sorry it’s huge. I’m sorry I’m a nerd when it comes to makeup and skincare. Goodbye, money, GOODBUY. ;)

been reading a lot of klance fics lately so i thought i’d share it w you guys!! here’s 14 of them and definitely my favorites. comes with the title (duh), description, a review by yours truly, and link to the fic. the writers of said fics also have some gorg other masterpieces so be sure to check those out!

1. ) Smile for the Stars by maIikcutie

description

Though he’s been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn’t sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company.
The universe is cruel.

review

amazing a+++ fic but i strongly advise not to read this unless you are willing to live the rest of your life broken hearted and Sad. i promise ur heart will be wrecked but in the best way possible!!! a buncha artists on tumblr made art for this so be sure to check those out & also there’s a epilogue-ish thing for this that dulls the pain a lil less and its called The Stars Smile Back in case yall were interested

2. ) Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe

description:

“Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?”
Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right?
“Alright, it’s a deal.”
Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.

review:

if u love slow burn then BOY ur gonna love this !!!! mama lance is so warm i luv her !!! fake dating aka one of my fav tropes so 11/10 and i just rly love this ok im in tears

3. ) call me, beep me by safra

description:

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes couldvery easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck??
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!
where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

review:

i love through-chat fics therefore i am so in love with this!!!!!! your everyday "wrong number” trope but so so so much better!!! cute and happy

4. ) Seasons by fairietailed

description: 

“Do you think we’ll be together, still, by the time we make it home?”
Lance is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he says, “That depends. Do you plan on going somewhere?”
Keith laughs, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair.
“No, I suppose I don’t.”

review:

their relationship is just SO PURE AND SOFT and so well written i’m in luuuv but the open ending will shatter and will most likely rip u apart

5. )  Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

description:

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet idiot continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith.
aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

review:

this is soooooooooo cute and adorable and wow i luv ittttt!!! made me smile so hard it hurts

6. ) He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

description:

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

review:

oh my god the buildup may be slow but i promise it’s worth it like everything just falls perfectly into place !!! and its so adorable and creative and just wow not ur usual klance fanfic and that just makes it 1000x better and also,,, dragons !!

7. ) Bonding Time by magisterpavus

description:

“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands.
Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?”
“I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.”

review:

galra keith will always and forever be my fav au so this is a definite fav for me !!! i love the other 3 sequels it comes w too!! and nsfw content too dont even lie ik u guys are thirsty for that

8 .) Just Static by Jessadilla

description:

–Static—-
-iro, Hunk, Kei—, nybody? I’m—-
-static–
–I’m sorry guys. This is all my–
–static–cc–
—I found my coordinates. They’re–
-stttcc-
-guys. I hear something—
–scccc-
-end transmission-
Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren’t getting through. How did it come to this?

review:

this fic got me sad and crying in the middle of the night )’: wont leave u too sad tho the ending is pretty nice

9. ) What a Healing Pod Can’t Repair by Remember_Me

description:

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be.

Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn’t be coming for a very long time.

review:

no words. literally no words. this was so painful and just wow the buildup will shatter u i swear )’: also poor bb lance i sob. comes with cool-looking art which makes it a whole lot better

10. ) Seen: 5:29 by SpeedOfSins

description:

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people)
Written in text format

review:

will wreck u, beware!! may be short but enough to bring u to tears honestly

11. ) On Thin Ice by Minadora

description:

Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.
Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.

review:

the description says it all !!!!! a fic beloved by the vld fandom and gosh whats not to love honestly???? also the whole gang is so happy !!! (sidenote: this is unfinished and its killing me)

12. ) I bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

description:

“So like in 'Step Up’?” Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.” The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps.
-
Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.
Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.

review:

if u love step up ur gonna LOVE this !!!! i love it so so so so much can i just say and wow keith is so hot ffs

13. ) thunderstruck by xShieru

description:

Lance doesn’t pine for anyone ever, Keith’s never been to a dance, Hunk tries his best to be supportive, Shiro is very done, and Pidge steals a car.But hey, it could’ve been worse.

review:

space prom!!!!!!! and cute pining gays!! whats not to love about that?

14. ) In English, Please

description:

Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

review:

two words - too. cute. i can’t even with this fic

Golden Boy

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2165

Warnings: Smut - NSFW

Summary: After playfully sending suggestive pictures to Chris right before he presents at the Oscars you realize that you are in for the night of your life.

Author’s Notes: This wasn’t planned. I had no idea Chris was going to wear a velvet bowtie to the Oscars. I’m basically CEvans Trash. I literally just wrote this – instead of watching the freaking Oscars – so if there are any ridiculous grammar errors – please forgive me… I am tired and hormonal. This is probably trash, ha!

I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this (along with some others). Soo yeah…..

Originally posted by sensualkisses

You hummed to yourself absentmindedly as you applied the rest of your makeup. Chris had promised his mom that he would take her to the Oscars this year, and you had agreed that it was a good idea. After the show was over you were to meet up with him to go to the after parties – which, let’s face it, were always the best part of the night. As you rapped your knuckles lightly on the bathroom countertop your phone dinged – alerting you to an incoming message. You reached for it as you finished putting on your lipstick. Of course it was from Chris.

“Miss you beautiful. Can’t wait to show you off to everyone.” You couldn’t help but smile at this. Of course he would send you something sweet. He had panicked that you would be upset about not going with him to the show, but you had assured him over and over that it was fine.

You had watched him get ready earlier that afternoon – the sight of him in his fitted suit and velvet tie had left your panties soaked. While you had secretly hoped for a quickie before he left for the show you had reasoned with yourself that there wasn’t time. Even the thought of the way he looked caused the tingling between your legs to start again. You checked the time on your cellphone before smiling. If the show was running on time Chris would be presenting within the next five minutes – you turned towards the television playing in the hotel bedroom for confirmation that the scheduling had not gone askew. It hadn’t and you couldn’t help but think how perfect the timing was. You were still only wearing your lingerie – not willing to wear your beautiful dress in fear of getting makeup on it. You positioned your hand over your panties, suggestively touching yourself, and formed a pout before snapping a picture.

“Wishing you could give me a hand.” You texted as you sent the picture. You could tell by your notifications that he had immediately seen it and you couldn’t help but smirk to yourself as you sat your phone down and finished getting ready.


“Jesus Christ,” Chris muttered to himself as he opened your text.

“Everything okay?” Someone beside him asked.

“Oh yeah… yeah,” he nervously blundered as he secured his phone safely back into his pocket. He was due to go on national television any minute, and was now also secretly praying that he could quell his body’s response to your text long enough to present. He chuckled nervously to himself. He knew you had done it on purpose. He had told you when his presentation was, and who it was after so you wouldn’t miss it. “I swear to god, Y/N. You’re going to be the death of me,” he mumbled to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Mr. Evans are you sure you’re okay?” A stagehand asked nervously.

“Never been better!” He announced a little too enthusiastically. Causing his co-presenter to jump beside me.

“Great… you are on in five….four…”

That was fine – he thought to himself – two could certainly play this game and payback was going to be a bitch.


You were nervous. After your text you had never received a response from Chris, but you were sure that he had saw it. Initially you had laughed during his presentation. He seemed maybe just a little flustered – most people wouldn’t have noticed, but most people hadn’t taken him to bed before either. As you exited the limousine you looked around nervously – nearly jumping out of your skin when a warm arm wrapped itself around your waist.

“Hey Babe,” he whispered into your ear – giving you a quick peck on the cheek. You looked up at him and he graced you with one his dazzling smiles. It was only when you really looked into his eyes that you realized he had definitely seen the picture, had certainly reacted to it, and the game was totally on. You swallowed hard – trying to bottle up your excitement as he smirked at you while you walked towards the entrance of the venue. “Just for the record,” he whispered – his beard tickling your ear – “I had to masturbate in the bathroom during the Academy Awards, because of you.” He gave your ass a quick slap which caused you to straighten up in surprise. You couldn’t help but smirk back at him – this was certainly going to be a night to remember.


“Sebby!” Chris shouted as he waived Sebastian over to your table. Sebastian said his hellos before taking a seat between Jeremy and Chris.

“What was up with you tonight?” Sebastian asked with a smirk. His eyes seemed to twinkle with humor as he offered you a wink.

“What do you mean?” Chris asked as he tried his hardest to keep a straight face – failing miserably.

“You seemed a little flustered is all,” Sebastian shrugged as he laughed. “Can’t imagine what would cause Chris to lose his cool,” he added to which Jeremy chuckled.

“I was a little distracted by something,” Chris added seriously as he turned his gaze to you. You knew the more his friends joked the more you were going to pay once you were alone with him.

You smiled shyly as you brought a glass of wine to your lips. “I guess you need to work on that babe,” you shrugged before turning your attention back to your conversation with Jeremy’s wife.


The following hours seemed uneventful – at least where Chris’s revenge was concerned. You gushed over celebrities like Emma Stone, as he politely introduced you – never taking his eyes off of you as you interacted with his friends. Everyone continued to drink – the alcohol seemed endless. Each time a bottle was finished at least two more arrived to replace it.

“Everyone should be dancing!” Sebastian declared as he rose from his chair.

“Oh come on man,” Chris muttered as he shook his head. His face was tinged pink from the amount of alcohol he had consumed. “I don’t know if I can even stand right now,” he laughed.

“Y/N?” Sebastian asked as he offered you his hand. You took it willingly looking over his shoulder to see Chris’s reaction. He was watching you like a hawk – good.

You left the table with Sebastian hand-in-hand. Out of all of Chris’s friends you liked Sebastian the best – probably because you had known him before you had ever met Chris. “You are going to have hell to pay,” Seb laughed as you danced against him.

“A girl can only hope,” you laughed as you smirked in Chris’s direction. He was already rising from his chair – his eyes trained only on you and his best friend.

“That didn’t take long,” Sebastian laughed as Chis meandered his way through the crowd. As he neared Sebastian shouted, “She’s all yours,” before laughing and walking back to the table where everyone else had stayed.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Chris muttered into your ear as he pulled you roughly into him. He placed his hands on your hips –guiding them to grind into him as you felt his growing erection. “You kill me,” he muttered breathlessly against your neck. You could feel the wetness between your legs grow as he continued to harden against your contact. The feeling caused you to let out a soft moan. “Oh do you like that,” he whispered seductively into your ear.

“Yes,” you responded breathlessly. “Chris, I…” but he cut you off.

“Follow me,” he demanded as he took your hand, guiding you towards one of the many private bathrooms. Being a celebrity had its perks – at least you had a room to yourself.


You sighed as Chris looked the bathroom door behind him. You were ready. Ready for him to ravage every part of your body.

“Not so fast,” he chuckled as he pushed you gently onto the couch – you never quite understood the need for couches in bathrooms, but for once you were glad to have one. You pouted quietly as Steve took you in. “Now listen here baby girl – you’ve been torturing me all night. Sending me that naughty picture of you and grinding yourself up against my best friend. Now it’s my turn,” he muttered softly as he slowly removed his tie. “Give me your hands,” he commanded. You obeyed giving him your hands. He took them in his hands and tied the velvet material around them securely. He spun you on the couch – making you lay on it fully before raising your hands above your head. “These better not move, do you understand me?” He asked. You nodded as you whimpered your assent. You would do whatever he said if he would help the aching feeling between your legs.

He smirked as he worked your dress up to your waist – admiring a portion of the lingerie he had seen earlier in the picture. He slowly planted kisses up your leg causing you to squirm uncontrollably. More than anything you wanted to twist your fingers through his hair and you soon found your hands moving from their position. “What did I say?” he asked calmly as you placed your hands back above your head. “Good girl,” he hummed – kissing your wet core through your panties. “I think we can get rid of these,” he murmured against your skin as he worked your panties off. He gently circled his thumb around your sensitive clit causing you to buck your hips. “Mmm, my naughty girl. You’re so wet,” he remarked as he slid a finger inside of you causing you to moan out his name. “That’s right baby, you’re mine,” he said fiercely as he added another finger – pumping them in and out of you as you squirmed with pleasure. You could feel your walls tightening at his touch and your moans became louder. You didn’t care who heard you. “Not yet baby,” he whispered as he removed his fingers.

“What?” Your head snapped forward at this. He couldn’t just get you close and then stop. “Chris,” you whined as you tried to sit up. He pushed you back gently with a smile before moving his face between your legs. He smirked up at you before burying his face into you. As he lapped at your wetness you moaned his name louder causing him to suck on your sensitive clit. As you bucked your hips he slid a finger into you. His mouth and fingers were too much – causing you to cum all over his face. He lapped away your orgasm – causing more moans to fall from your mouth – before he broke away with a smirk. His beard was glistening with the remnants of your pleasure which immediately made you ready for round two.

“Stand up,” he demanded as he stood and offered you his hand. You placed your bound ones in his and he helped you to your feet. “I want you to bend over the sink,” he explained as he motioned over to the sink. You did as he commanded – your bound wrists stinging softly as the velvet bit into your soft flesh. You watched in the mirror as he removed himself from his pants – stroking himself a few times before approaching you from behind. He lifted your dress to your waist again before nudging your legs apart with his own. As he slid into you fully you groaned. He began to thrust into you as he held on to your hips tightly. “God – you are so tight,” he exclaimed as his thrusts began to become more disjointed. You groaned as your body reacted to his thrusts – you could feel your walls tightening again with the promise of a glorious orgasm. When he began palming your sensitive clit you came undone around him – your orgasm spurring his own. He stiffened as he filled you with himself. He sighed softly into your hair as he kissed the back of your neck affectionately before removing himself.

“So that’s what happens when I send you nudes when you’re at the Oscars?” you asked with a laugh as you sat shakily on the couch.

“I guess so,” he chuckled as he plopped down beside you – wrapping his arm around you and bringing your head to his shoulder.

“Well I guess I should do that more often,” you shrugged as you both laughed.

“Oh hell,” Chris sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What is it?” you asked alarmed.

“Seb and I had a bet on who would have sex at an Oscars’ after party years ago. I never thought it would be me so I’ve given him hell for years about it,” he grimaced.

“Well I guess it’s time to pay up,” you chuckled as you both rose from the couch.

“It was worth every last fucking penny,” Chris responded as he pulled you into him – planting a soft kiss on your lips.


Tags: (I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this along with a few others)

@writingblockswriters @kendallefire @marvelouslyloki @seargantbcky @sapphire1727 @dont-let-me-go-again @amrita31199 @kittthekat @3brosangel @yknott81 @samanthaneedsanap @dreamer1495 @frolicsomefawkes @totallygroovyllama @caffeineandlaserbeams @sebbys-girl @bless-my-demons @moonofhisheart @giggles2107 @summerbummer2001 @ninjayjumper @vidishajain @fan-guirl @ily-celebrities @harleyqueen7

A Babysitting Love Affair | Zach Dempsey x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff
POV: Reader’s/First Person

A/N: This was requested by anon! I hope you guys will like this as much as my first one. I kind of ramble on but please bear with me lol.
Request: could i request a zach dempsey x reader where the reader is babysitting zach’s sister, and zach haven’t met the babysitter yet and one day he goes home early and falls in love with her?

—–

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning Mrs. Dempsey.”

“Alright love, thank you so much!”

I smile as I close the door after Zach’s mom who asked me to babysit Zach’s little sister, May. She mentioned that she will have to go to Chicago for the weekend to take care of something and I was assigned to be May’s companion overnight since her brother is an extremely busy guy. The Dempseys are a close family friend, too bad I’m not really that close with Zach or May. It’s probably because we go to different high schools and it doesn’t really help that I can be anti-social at times. I know nothing about them, and they know nothing about me in return so it’s all good.

—–

The next morning

“I’ll be leaving now or else I’ll miss my flight! Thank you so much again Y/N for babysitting. I’ll see you girls tomorrow morning alright? Feel at home love, my number’s on the fridge if you need me and I left money for any emergency. Zach won’t be here until dinner tonight. He has basketball practice.” Mrs. Dempsey says as she bids goodbye to Zach’s little sister and I.

“Got it Mrs. Dempsey! We’ll see you tomorrow.” I finally say with a smile.

“Bye mom! I’ll be good, I promise!” May puts her right thumb out to her mom and waves goodbye.

“So, what do you want to do today, May?” I ask her as we’re left alone inside the house.

“Hmm, I don’t really have anything in mind. Oh wait I know! Let’s style each other’s hair.” She suggests with a gleam in her eyes; she looked so excited.

“Sure kiddo.” I reply with a smile and we proceed to the living room to watch TV. May got all of her hair accessories from her room for us to use. She decided that it’d be fun to start with my hair first and put them in pigtails and so she did. She chose these pink puffy hair bands to tie my hair. May had long, black and shiny hair which reminded me of Katniss Everdeen so naturally, I chose to put her hair in a fish tail braid.

“Wow Y/N, you’re really good at this!” she beams after her make over.

“Why thank you, Miss Everdeen.” I reply with a bow and she giggles in response.

A couple of hours later and it was almost lunch time. May wanted to order pizza and so we did. She didn’t like vegetables so we opted for a classic cheese pizza instead. A few minutes later and the doorbell rang, I ran to the door to open it, with the money in my left hand.

“Thank you so–” I begin to greet the pizza man but a ginormous, muscular guy hovered above me instead.

Keep reading

Exquisite Death

Got your attention, didn’t it? GOOD. Now that you’re here:

Humans Are Weird ™

I know. Anyway - I was in the dentist this morning and I had a thought. It isn’t necessarily about teeth. Those of you hopelessly addicted to Dragon Age will recognize that phrase up there in reference to some apparently gorgeous-looking, truly-heinous petit fours. Apparently they’re…I don’t know? Delicious but killing you while you eat them. Pain, but, you know “worth it!”

So there I was, getting my teeth scraped and belt sanded clean and I realized that (along with the oh-so-nice slick feeling of clean teeth) I was really looking forward to my teeth aching all day. I know. Weird. But it’s like when I had braces - I hated the rubber bands, the jerk orthodontist, getting food stuck, and the brackets scraping up the inside of my mouth. What I didn’t hate was when I got adjustments and my teeth would dully ache for days. How messed up is that? It was my own Exquisite Death. A sweet ache.

Doesn’t have to be my brand of weird. Maybe for you it’s muscles. How they ache after a good run, a good workout. You hate it while it’s happening, but afterwards, when there’s that aching tingle of a muscle well-used, it’s pretty glorious.

— — —

“Human-Denton!” The alien’s too-large eyes were wide and unblinking as he looked down on his charge who had yet to get up off the floor. Urrut was supposed to be keeping watch over this human, but he was hard to keep track of - he was constantly moving and hardly ever asleep.

Holding an arm up, Denton let it fall to the ground. Hard. Muscles aching and protesting any sort of movement. “Gimme a minute.”

“Are you in distress? Shall I call a medic? Why did you do all of that - you are…oozing! Is this normal? Shall I call a medic?” Urrut’s sticky feet peeled up from the mat - first one than the other as he shifted uneasily.

“You asked that twice,” Denton gave a wheezing laugh. “I had to see if I could do it. Gotta push yourself, Ur. Gonna hurt like hell tomorrow.”

“I am calling a medic.”

“No, Urrut-” Oh it hurt, but he sat up. Rubbing his arms, he worked the stiffness threatening to set in. “I’m fine. I swear.” Next was his legs, and then he could get up. He wasn’t kidding. It was going to hurt tomorrow, but… “Worth it.”

— — —

Maybe you’re one of those people who gets a bruise and pokes at it “because it makes it heal faster”. Let’s be real. You just like the ache of it. Reminds you that you’re alive, that you can feel, that you did something amazing or stupid or amazingly stupid.

— — —

Shore leave was over, and as the crew made their way back on board, Meera found herself watching two of the human engineers talking and laughing about what they had done with their free time, and then…then they did something odd. One peeled back the shoulder of their jacket, and the other lifted the hem of their top covering to reveal discolorations - bruises.

They were laughing about them. They were proud of them. And - she was sure her face was a mash of confusion and disgust and horror - they were prodding at each others bruises, hurting each other, and laughing about it!

Barbarians the lot of them.

— — —

Maybe it’s food. Oh god, there’s no way you don’t know someone (or aren’t that someone) that eats good that hurts. Too hot. Too spicy. Too…dairy (lactose intolerant people, I feel for you.)

— — —

The lunchroom erupted in laughter as Aimee all but bathed in the water she was pouring into her mouth, down her throat, and all over the front of her clothes. She hopped around, flailing her hands, tears streaming down her face until someone shoved a glass of white, opaque liquid into her hands and she carefully drank it as though it were the most precious nectar.

Taking flight, Zzirxax zoomed across the room, hovering nearby, “What just happened? Is she okay?”

Through laughter and cursing and what Zzirxax came to understand that the humans had done something called a ‘dare’, and that it involved Human-Aimee consuming the hottest pepper from Galmeria-6. When asked why, why would she do that, the reply was predictably human.

“Won, didn’t I?” Mouth open a moment, fanning air towards it with her hand, Aimee took a deep breath and wiped away another tear. “So worth it.”

Fairy Tail Chapter 545 Review

Okay guys. Here it is. After 11 years the story of Fairy Tail finally comes to a close. So let’s dive into Chapter 545 “Irreplaceable Friends”

We open  at a big fancy party thrown in Lucy’s honor for her best selling book, “The Adventure of Iris”. Honestly… Good to know Lucy gets a successful career in her ending.

and we now get the cover page…

It’s a little crowded, and I think there has been better shots of all of Fairy Tail together, but nostalgia is really kicking in.

The next few pages is just shots of FT being FT.

So Lucy begins to narrate some things that have happened in the last year. First about her book and then…

Oh god. Not you. Yes, Anna gets to live in this time period, with no consequences and not even a meaningful conversation with Lucy. To top it off, she’s now a teacher. Yeah, seeing as how all of Anna’s “intellect“ just kept making things worse and worse, I don’t think those kids are in for a good academic future.

Seems like Levy is pregnant. Cool. Not that this isn’t bad, but after the whole Bradman thing, this was kinda obvious.

We then cut to other guilds. Like Lamia scale and we find out that Chelia…

Are you fucking kidding me? I guess this war really did have no lasting consequences for our heroes!

This is the last of Sabertooth. Which I swear is just a copied image from the Avatar arc when the “Tora Tora eating festival” was introduced.

I guess Ichiya is Blue Pegasus’s master now? Well he did survive a suicide trip pushing Acnologia into a portal, guess he earned this title.

Wow this arc has done well at stripping away Kagura’s dignity. From getting striped by Dimaria, to giving Jellal CPR shirtless, to being given a magic induced orgasm, and now she’s a model. Okay there’s nothing wrong with being a model, but this is Kagura. Stoic, Badass Swordswoman,  I didn’t see becoming a magazine model as a future for her character. She doesn’t even seem to like this! Actually wait! The caption says that Mermaid Heel’s girls all became models… Wow, way to treat the female only guild.

We cut to the party where…

Oh god, Gildarts no… Also Juvia, I know you spent time with Gray and developed the striping habbit, but you usually did it in combat… I don’t get why you’re doing it now.

Gray drags off Juvia and begins to lecture her on her scar…

So they’re canon… I think? Kinda… Sorta… No well explained… Hey wait! I just realized that this whole big plot point about how Gray will give Juvia an answer and keep her from being left hanging, doesn’t end in a straight answer, but a maybe?! AKA still left hanging! Dude, grow a spine and say it!

Wait… what’s this…

I love this scene! Mashima you glorious bastard~

We then cut to see that King Toma has abdicated, making Hisui queen. Yeah… Hisui… She totally earned it… What have you even done?Well she does make peace with Alvarez. Which is most likely going through a civil war to determine who is now the ruling body given the emperor and most of his top men are dead.

But Hisui also pardons Crime Sociere…

Y’know her telling them to live, would be a bit more powerful, if she interacted with Erza and not Lucy.

Yeah now the most controversial part of the chapter…

Erza and Jellal don’t get together. In fact, they don’t even talk. Y’know I did a brief post on my thoughts about this and I still stand by, Mashima is under no obligation to get them together, but he does at least owe them a conversation. At least. Because when you tease something like that, you really can’t leave open ended. If they aren’t going to get together you should at least give them a conversation that at least leads to them making the decision not to get together.

(Also Erza’s hair was that gorgeous without brushing it?!)

And Makarov can’t walk anymore… Oh god it must hard for him to make it through each day now, old, numerous heart attacks, lost the ability to walk. At this point just mercy kill him. Wait, he’ll probably live through that too.

Oh yeah and the other controversial scene…

Yup. Mavis and Zeref have been reincarnated and are now destined to fall in love again… Oh god… Why? You concluded their story! The whole journey of them as a couple had a great ending. Granted I felt it was weighed down by the Alvarez arc really dropping the ball with the whole relationship thing, before their conclusion. So this really feels like it ruins that big curse breaking moment, because they actually don’t escape their eternal cycle. Instead of being immortal they’re just reincarnated. Also one month is a short time for these reincarnations to be born and then make it to their teenage years

We get a montage shot of FT acting like FT and…

Wow… A ship with no canon interaction gets acanon ending. Mashima, you glorious bastard…

We cut to the next day in Lucy’s home, where… (For old time’s sake)

Natsu is in her living room. Appears she passed out after getting drunk, and brought her home.

And then this scene.

I know there are some upset that Natsu and Lucy didn’t get together, but this scene is really heartfelt. Regardless of the quality of every arc in question, I genuinely feel that these are two people who’ve been through thick and thin.

So they run off on another adventure… But not just on any adventure…

A 100 year quest.

So we close out on another montage showing off FT.

Umm looks like Fairies don’t have tails…

Anyway that is the conclusion, and after 11 long years the stories of Natsu, Lucy, Gray, Erza, Wendy, Happy, and Carla, come to an end, but the adventure of Fairy Tail lives on…

Post Chapter Follow Up: I’m going to start with the negatives only because I want to end on a positive note.

The biggest issue with this conclusion, is a lot of the individual ends feel iffy… Weather they don’t seem to fit the character like Kagura, or give a level of finality to their story like Jellal, or even acknowledge there has been a change to get us to this point like sabertooth. It really hurts because these are the last time we’ll see these characters and leaving them off with those conclusions is bitter sweet.

Let’s also talk about the controversial stuff. The biggest is the ambiguity. The “story” has to end without the story ending, thus it doesn’t go against a never ending adventure. There are things I think you can leave ambiguous, like Natsu and Lucy going off on an adventure, or what happens to all of the guilds as a whole. But there are some stuff that really you can’t do given the time spent on it. As I said, I am fine with Mashima not making pairs canon. Afterall, he isn’t under obligation to, just because the ships have large fanbases. That said he needs to at least give a straight answer. WIth all the time spent, you need to show us how you come to the end for these pairs and why that might not get together.

Another thing that really hurts is the Zeref and Mavis thing… Why? It’s not a bad scene, but it’s bad because it really ruins their already good conclusion. Doesn’t destroy it, but does make it a lot lesser.

So with all that said… Lets get to the positives,. First of all, I really do want to give Hiro Mashima for attempting something different for his conclusion than the typical shounen ending. I do think it is muddled a bit in execution, but this could’ve very well been just a repeat of Rave’s ending. I’m glad he ended it, his own way.

Another thing is the FT hijicks. I know a lot of the cast of FT didn’t do much this final arc, but it’s so nice to see them all get to show of their personalities one more time before the curtain draws to a close.

And finally, that moment with Natsu and Lucy. I know people are upset that the two are not together as lovers, but that doesn’t take away this really is two characters that share a genuine bond. Maybe not romantic, but it really feels like a finale for these two.

So this is the last time I’m going to do this for FT…

Final Verdict: 5/10

  • It’s too ambiguous
  • It does have some head scratching edings for characters
  • It has very sweet moments of characterization
  • Reminds of the jiy these characters brought me.

Before we go,This is it, this is the last review for a chapter of Fairy Tail I’m going to ever write. It’s been an honor and pleasure bringing you a review week to week. I wouldn’t be anything without this series, I could’ve never made my blog what it is without this series help, and all of your help dear readers. We had a lot of fun. Sure, at times it wasn’t always good, we had ups and we had downs, but that was what Fairy Tail was, a ride. And it’s a ride I don’t regret getting on. I hope it left everyone with some good memories. So till we see each other again, stay gold!

101 Writing Prompts

1. “I didn’t know you two were related.” “We didn’t either.”

2. “I’m not saying I’m gay, but I would be if they were asking.”

3. “I’ve tried my hardest to fall for you, but it’ll always be them.”

4. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before.”

5. “I didn’t even want to come to this party. You lied to me about the pinata.”

6. “Spin the bottle is such a cliché. I’m in.”

7. “I have to go in there with you? I didn’t sign up to play 7 minutes in hell .”

8. “That’s not how you pronounce my name and I’m not even sure you tried.”

9. “Are you new here?” “We’ve been in the same math class for six years.”

10. “You really shouldn’t touch that… I told you.”

11. “I recognise you. Do you have a dog.”

12. “ You’ve never seen Harry Potter?

13. “Can’t we just lay here for a minute?”

14. “We have to stop running into each other like this.”

15. “Is it weird if I say that your dad’s really hot?”

16. “I know it’s 2am but can we meet up?”

17. “I don’t know how we ended up sleeping together but I know I’m mad about it.”

18. “Whatever you do, just don’t tell anybody!”

19. “I don’t come here often, it brings back unwanted memories.”

20. “They told me I’d forget about you; that I’d move on but it’s been three years and here I am.”

21. “I’ve waited so long for this moment, but now it’s here I don’t know how to feel.”

22. “You can’t just say that and then disappear!”

23. “I always hear my neighbour playing this beautiful music, but I’ve never actually met them.”

24. “Would it be alright if I pet your dog?”

25. “I’m so sorry to bother you this late but an owl got in my house and I have no idea how to get it out.”

26. “We can’t call the police! They’ll never believe us!”

27. “Why are you buying plane tickets? Are you leaving?”

28. “I swear I’ve seen them before in a dream.”

29. “I don’t want to be your partner either but we have to get this assignment done.”

30. “I never hated you, you just make me feel things I don’t understand.”

31. “It’s your fault, and I don’t think this is something you can fix.”

32. “This isn’t easy for me either.”

33. “I would never do this to you if I didn’t have to. You know that, right?”

34. “Can you at least promise me that?” “I don’t think I can, not this time.”

35. “I’m sorry but it’s very hard to focus when you’re dressed like that.”

36. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard to you want me to hit you?”

37. “I’d be scared if I were you.”

38. “You can’t go in there alone .”

39. “This seems like a lot of effort to go to for a mediocre joke.”

40. “Delete that picture right now or Mr.Snuggles gets it!”

41. “You didn’t go through my photos did you?!”

42. “Uhhh, I went through your photos and I have some questions.”

43. “I swear to god, if you tag me in one more bad meme I’ll make you regret it.”

44. “I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more.”

45. “You have individual ringtones for everyone? What’s mine?”

46. “ Why wouldn’t you lock the door?

47. “Did you know kissing burns calories?” “I’m happy with my weight, thanks.”

48. “Your bad pickup lines aren’t cute, they’re just bad.”

49. “I’ll give you fifty bucks if I can take you to Christmas dinner and tell my family we’re together. They always ask if I’m dating and I can’t have that conversation again.”

50. “I don’t think you’re ever too old for trick-or-treating.”

51. “We’re dressing up for Halloween this year and that’s final.”

52. “I forgot what we were fighting about in the first place.” “I didn’t.”

53. “Fuck you.” “Not with that attitude.”

54. “90% of people admit to having at least a slight bondage kink, and 10% are lying about it.”

55. “I don’t understand why you won’t just use a map on your phone.”

56. “You know my house has a door? You don’t always have to use the window.”

57. “The truth is, my friends dared me to ask you out, but I’m really glad they did.”

58. “You know, I was joking in that birthday card when I said I’d help you hide a body.”

59. “Can we please turn off this song.” “But it’s a masterpiece .”

60. “I’ve known you for two years and I think I’ve been saying your name wrong the whole time.”

61. “Wow, you really are blind!” “Thanks for the update, can I have my glasses back now?”

62. “It might be petty but you borrowed my pencil three weeks ago and I’m gonna need it back.”

63. “I think they have a crush on you, which sucks because I’m kinda into them.”

64. “Just go and talk to them, they dont bite!” “What if biting turns me on? If they dont do it then what’s the point?”

65. “You can’t say that in front of children!”

67. “Seven years old is practically an adult.”

68. “Dude I ordered this on eBay and you have to see what they sent me.”

69. “I didn’t realise it meant so much to you.”

70. “I wish I was sorry, but I don’t regret any of it.”

71. “My friend thinks you’re cute, personally I don’t get it but this isn’t about me right now.”

72. “Not everything is about you!” “Untrue.”

73. “You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

74. “This is why I hate family dinners! It always gets awkward.”

75. “This can only end two ways and neither of them are pretty.”

76. “Not everything can be butterflies and rainbows! Things get hard sometimes, that’s just how it is!”

77. “My mom told me I shouldn’t talk to strangers, and you’re definitely strange.”

78. “I can’t believe you fell asleep when I was showing you my favourite movie of all time.”

79. “You shouldn’t be out here alone, it’s dangerous.”

80. “I could lie here with you forever. I wish I didnt have to leave.”

81. “Everything’s changing and I hate it! I liked the way things were.”

82. “You look so incredible, if that didn’t look so good on you I’d probably tear it off.”

83. “Do you think they noticed that we left?”

84. “The funny thing is, you could have fixed this and you didn’t even try.”

85. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I’m only asking because it hurt when I did and I thought I might have done it wrong.”

86. “That was super cheesy and I’m lactose intolerant.”

87. “You didn’t tell me you were gay!” “You didn’t tell me you weren’t.”

88. “Your friend told me you had a crush on me, I just wanted to let you know your friend is a snake.”

89. “Are you staring at me or are you staring past me?”

90. “If you we’re a guy/girl would you go out with me?” “I am a guy/girl.”

91. “Sounds stupid. When are we doing it?”

92. “Can we tell my parents that I’m at your house, just incase they get suspicious?”

93. “This is the part in the movie where we kiss or one of us dies. My fingers are crossed for option one.” “Speak for yourself.”

94. “I’m offended that you don’t have more faith in me but, honestly, it’s understandable given past experience.”

95. “Its just a blind date! What’s the worst that could happen?” “I could literally die.”

96. “I would light myself on fire to keep you warm and you wouldn’t even hand me a coat if I were freezing.”

97. “I trusted you, and so I guess I should have seen this coming.”

98. “I had a really weird sex dream about you and I’m not sure how I feel about it, honestly.”

99. “Okay, but this is the last time I bail you out!”

100. “All I know is that if you don’t tell me to stop I’m going to kiss you.”

101. “I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

It was a joke, baby. I swear. Part 2

Here it is… The moment …. i guess some of you… have been waiting for. I hope it’s perfect. 

Originally posted by spiderholland

Peter’s fingers gently sifted through your smooth faded blue hair, as you rested between his legs on his couch. You were both lazing around today, and having a Star Wars movie marathon, which you were having difficulty watching because Peter was nearly lulling you to sleep with his gentle strokes over your scalp.

Peter had practically forgot about the movie, at this point it was just static noise to his concentration on your soft locks. Your initial reaction to his hair dying prank made him feel a little guilty, but now he had no regrets, as you were both enjoying the change. His fingers weaved little braids scattered over your head. He found himself un-braiding and re-braiding all of them as they spilled over his chest. They had only just fallen there aimlessly, but some how they looked to be placed strategically to perfection. 

Keep reading

Tom Holland x Reader: Apartment

Summary: You and Tom Holland are neighbors in the same apartment complex. You have a crush on him, he has a girlfriend. What could go wrong? You could think of five separate incidents.

Warnings: cursing

Word count: 7,132


No 1: the coffee maker incident (which was all harrison’s fault)

The moment your knuckles leave the door it’s already swinging back, revealing a face flushed with relief. Tom Holland’s eyes flutter closed, leaning his head against the door frame and looking up at you through his lashes with a smile plastered on his face.

“Oh thank god you actually came. You’re good at fixing things, right?” he asked, ushering you into his apartment before hearing your answer. You’re a little reluctant to enter, thinking that you’ll somehow track mud across his pristine white carpet, or smudge a stain on his suede chairs that weren’t in there the last time you’d been over.

“I’m good at putting Ikea furniture together, if that’s what you mean,” you call after him as you hop around on one foot, attempting to slide your boots off without appearing like a fool. You look around once more, taking in the features of Tom’s place.

You can’t say you like what he’s done. There are too many colors; blues and yellows that are too bold, an abundance of throw pillows against a couch that you swear your parents had gushed over in a Rooms-To-Go catalog. None of it looks like him, and you have an inkling as to why, but you keep your mouth shut as you follow the sound of two voices into his kitchen.

“You help me with my T.V all the time. Are you good with stuff like this?” Tom inquires, looking at you over his shoulder. He’s standing in front of something, hunched over the island in the center of the room. On his left, staring at you over his mug, Harrison is sipping away on something.

There’s a smug look in his blue eyes that makes you want to tip his drink onto his shirt, but instead you ignore him, standing on Tom’s right. In front of you is a simple small coffee maker; not a Keurig, but something akin, you could imagine.

“What’s wrong with it?” you question, looking around the top and sides for damage. Tom has his knuckle in his mouth, looking worriedly at the device in front of him. You’ve never seen such an anxious look on his face and it makes your brows crease. “Tom?”

“Hm?” he says, snapping his eyes back to you. The normally sparkling brown hues are muddy, clouded with something you can’t identify. “It’s just… I don’t know what’s wrong with it. I noticed it was out of water and I went to refill it, but when I pressed the button, it wouldn’t make anything.”

Perplexed, you flipped open the lid, seeing nothing wrong. You checked the coffee ground compartment, seeing a pierced, but otherwise unused k-cup sitting in there. With crossed arms, you pressed the power button again, just to be certain.

The three of you watched as the machine’s light started to blink. You cut your eyes over to Tom, wondering what kind of stunt he was pulling. Opening your mouth to speak, you were cut off by the red light blinking out, only for nothing else to happen.

“See!” Tom cried out, fisting his hands in his hair. It curled out of his fist, making two small pony tails at the top of his head. Your eyes narrowed, realizing just how much his hair had grown in the past few months. You hadn’t seen too much of him to have a decent comparison, but you remembered it being much shorter.

“—just wait till she comes home and sees this broken! She’s going to kill me!” Your heart drops into your stomach, limbs suddenly feeling heavy. The coffee maker belonged to his girlfriend. You nodded, now understanding why he had sounded so urgent when he’d called you.

“You’re fucking Spider-Man, ya? Just go out and buy a new one with all that Marvel money,” Harrison pointed out, rolling his eyes as he took another sip of his drink. “She won’t even know the difference.”

“They don’t even make this stupid model anymore, she’s going to know it’s broken. And I didn’t even break it!” he exclaimed, his voice shaking with worry. “What am I going to do?”

“You’re going to calm the hell down, that’s what,” you chided, resting your hands on Tom’s shoulders. He relaxed under your touch, walking backwards as you steered him onto a bar stool. “It’s not the end of the world, dude, just breathe,” you reminded him, watching as his chest heaved heavily. Your hands felt warm as they slid down his arms, coming to rest on the island as you examined the coffee maker.

You drained it of its water, checking the main compartment for any irregularities. Immediately you noted a white film around the sides, and you paused, looking from the sink, to the device, and finally at Harrison.

“Harrison? What are you drinking?” you asked, pulling your phone from your back pocket and shining the flashlight down to the bottom.

“Hot chocolate,” he replied carefully, eyes darting between you and Tom. Peering down, you carefully wiped your finger against the bottom of the compartment, your nails scratching against a hard surface, coated with something.

“Haz, there’s no pot in the sink, or in the dishwasher. What—HAZ!” Tom growled, having put the pieces together. “Did you put milk in the coffee maker?”

“I mean, yeah,” he admitted a not-so-guilty look across his face. “It was sitting right there, and it was faster than heating up a pot.”

“Ah-ha,” you chuckled, closing one eye to look down into the coffee maker. “That would explain this weird shit covering the bottom of this thing.” You gave a pointed look at Harrison, who hadn’t even tried to look remorseful. “You do realize that when you don’t clean up heated milk, it leaves a hard coating on metal. This coffee maker basically has a hot plate that boils the water and then sucks in into a tube. My best guess it that the milk hardened, and the water can’t get through,” you assessed.

“Well how do we fix it?” Tom asked, crossing his arms and looking at you. He seemed to believe you had all the answers, and you bit your lip to hold back you stutters. You didn’t want to disappoint him, to make him think you weren’t the person for the job.

Cutting your eyes over at Harrison, you gave him a pointed look; you made it look reprimanding, but it was really to wipe the smirk off his face. He’d had a smug look since the moment you walked in and it bothered you, making the tips of your ears feel hot.

“Well for starters, don’t do it again,” you bit out, glaring daggers at Harrison. He didn’t reply, but he did walk out of the room, shrugging his shoulders as he walked behind you.

Tom noted the fixed stares you gave him, but said nothing of it. You pursed your lips before looking at the brunette, holding out your hand and asking for a knife.

He blinked, warily pulling out a butter knife and placing it into your palm. You frowned at it, turning it over in your hands. “I need a sharper one.”

Tom raised a brow, hazel eyes glimmering with suspicion. You snorted, wondering if he was actually afraid of you with a knife.

“What, you think I’m going to kill you or something?” You joked. You wondered for a moment if your joke was too dark for a guy who was just your neighbor, but he eventually chuckled, handing you a knife with a sharp, long blade. You gave him your phone, and asked him to shine it down into the machine. Silently, with the two of your heads close together, you both bowed your heads with work to do.

This was an awkward fifteen minutes. Every now and then Tom would pick his eyes up and watch as your face scrunched in concentration. Your lips would part as an almost inaudible curse passed through, making him laugh a bit. Every time you felt him move you would try not to catch his gaze, attempting to discreetly look at him. You could feel how close he was and it felt wrong that your heart was beating so fast, or that you couldn’t breathe.

After what felt like hours, you retracted, taking the machine to the sink to wash it out. You filled it and plugged it back in, waiting patiently with a mug as you started it.

Tom looked as though he was holding a breath, and sure enough, when the coffee streams out he sighed, leaning against the counter with his entire weight, looking as though he’s been saved from the fires of hell.

He turns, eyes shining in praise as he gushed a bunch of rushed thank you’s, his accent slurring everything together. You’re really just nodding and smiling, telling him that it’s fine and no big deal. You’ll tell yourself anything to get rid of the hammering in your chest, louder than construction work as you feel blood rush to your face.

“I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you.” He sounds like he’s speaking about your presence in general, but that can’t be true. All you’ve ever done for him was put together furniture and now fix his coffee maker, but he seems to like you, as a friend and neighbor. Which you’ll take.

“It’s no problem at all Tom. And it’ll be less of a problem if I can have this,” you pull the mug away, bringing the rich black coffee to your lips.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Do you want to stay for a bit? I feel like you’re always in and out, and-“ his words die as his cell phone rings, the ringtone that default sound that makes you jump. He takes it, holding his hand up apologetically, but you shake your head. You weren’t going to stay anyways.

Grabbing your things, you pass Harrison, who looks pretty comfortable on a couch that isn’t his, sipping on the last of his hot chocolate. He smiles when you walk by, but it’s a knowing one, as though he can read your thoughts. You scoff, but before you can get your shoes back on, Harrison says, “You should be thanking me.”

That really riles you up, and you laugh, a forced, sarcastic thing. “For what?”

“If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be making any moves.” There’s a wink, but you don’t really care to return his comment. You strain out a “Bye, Harrison,” before closing the door and leaning your back against it.

The cup in your hand is scorching your palm, but you smile regardless. Another reason to knock on Tom’s door. 


No. 2: The incident where you meet his girlfriend and things go wrong

You had this sick feeling in your gut that toady wasn’t the best day to bring back the mug you borrowed from Tom. It was simply the day after, the most reasonable time to drop by and say, “hey, I forgot I took this” without seeming like you harbored it, or cast a spell on it. The little thing sat neatly in your hands, cradled gently as though it was made of crystal.

Your knock was verging on two minutes ago, so you decided to go again, wondering briefly if you should say his name. Calling him may have been a bad idea, but before you could form his name, the door swung back, revealing a brunette that was not Tom.

His girlfriend’s caramel colored hair was a cascade of freshly made curls, evident from the fact that her makeup and outfit were already complete. She lacked shoes, and a sense of hospitality, sizing you up like bully on a playground. When she reached your eyes, you balked, deciding whether it was better to state your purpose, or just drop the item near her feet and scram.  

It would have been much easier for her as well, until Tom caught your eyes from farther behind her. “Y/N?” he questioned, but excitedly, as though he was happy to see you. That made his girlfriend’s lip curl into a sneer, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Oh, uh,” you started, wanting so bad to bolt, but transfixed by Tom’s smile and gentle demeanor. He was dressed, indicating that he was probably going out. And from the progress they both had on their outfits, you could guess it was possible they were going on a lunch date.

You felt foolish, your heart drooping in your chest as you resigned yourself to stick with the plan. What did you expect, that his girlfriend would just magically be missing every time you came into his apartment? A dumb idea, one fueled by your fluttering heart, but also by your jealous mind.

“I accidentally took this last time I was here. Sorry,” you said, holding the cup out to the girl. She dropped her eyes to the cup, but made no moves to take it from you. Her hands stayed rooted on the door, and you felt like you could melt under her scrutinizing gaze.

Tom saved you, however, taking the cup from your hands with care, wrapping his hand around it. Your hands brushed each other’s, and your fingertips felt so warm and fiery, igniting your nerves in flames. You looked up to send him a smile, but you caught the look his girlfriend gave you.

Her blue eyes startled you, being so wide and so angry at the same time. Her perfect nails seemed to dent into the metal door as she gripped it with all her might. Her posture was rigid, feet set apart in a fighting stance. You thought her unoccupied hand was going to reach out and punch your teeth out.

The silent threat made you jump, the ware slipping from your fingers and smashing to the floor before you had time to react. You could only pull your feet away and watch in horror as it fell on its handle, small shards of grey porcelain scattering across the floor.

You want to cry, curl up beside the shards and be swept away into a dust bin, you’re so mortified. To your right, she’s smiling a little, resting her hand on Tom’s shoulder as she proceeds to ask if he’s okay. She tiptoes to look over his shoulder, as though she wasn’t standing feet away when it happened. Milking the moment, you catch the glint in her eyes when she rubs his back, saying that she’ll get a broom.

Tom nods, saying a faint, “okay babe,” before he’s taken aback by the kiss she plants on his cheek. You note the pink mark it’s left, a small, but powerful reminder that he’s taken, and that no matter how shy and polite and cute and neighborly you are, there’s nothing you can do about it.

She casts a look that is part sinister and part mocking over her shoulder, but it turns into surprise as the door closes, Tom stepping out into the hall. He’s got his hands behind his back as the door clicks shut, leaving the two of you in the hall.

“Sorry about that, I don’t know how that happened.” He rubs the back of his neck now, as if he’s really considering the idea that he might have done this.

“No, you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who broke it, I should be cleaning it up, I,” your head is fixed towards the ground, unable to meet his gaze. You really just want to walk away, but it was hard, with him so close to you, his height and yours almost the same. There’s no need for tilted heads when every time you look up, it’s just his eyes on yours, and it makes you so frustrated.

“I’m really sorry about this, I promise I’ll get you another one.” In some really nice universe, this is the part where Tom chuckles and says “You don’t have to do that. Just go on a date with me and we’re even.”

But this is not a nice universe. It’s not even close. This universe is horrible and cruel, laughing at your pitiful crush on a taken British boy and your shitty attempts at being his friend.

This universe sucks, so you leave him with that half assed promise and run down the stairs, not looking back as he calls your name.


 No. 3: the incident where you hear something you shouldn’t have (but always wanted to know)

It’s late, and probably your own fault that you’re miserable and at home and have to watch a fucking slideshow about Roswell, New Mexico. The lights are mostly off in your apartment, save for three little hanging lights above your kitchen counter. One sole bottle of Heineken is untouched, probably warm since your friend left over two hours ago for her date.

And now, with a pounding headache and an impossibly bad mood, you felt your limit snap as loud shouts and a bumping bass sounded from Tom’s apartment. He wasn’t a rowdy guy, and his girlfriend didn’t seem like the type to annoy the neighbors at ten pm, but you could think of a certain blonde that would.  

It had been weeks after ‘the breaking of the mug’, weeks of building back the confidence to look Tom in the eyes, and weeks of him being crazy nice to you. He was always asking you to come over, wanting to make up for how bad your last encounter was. Eventually you both settled back into a comfortable friendship, but that only persisted as long as his girlfriend wasn’t around.

After another week of that arrangement, you felt guilty, almost as though you were doing something forbidden. You remembered the shame and palpable tension in the room that occurred every time she came home to find the two (or three, there was no way she could get rid of Harrison) inside. Almost any conversation would drop, and you would leave, giving him a curt goodbye.

It was dumb, it was strenuous and it was so unnecessary. But it felt exciting.

You swallowed that excitement down fast, knowing that there was nothing between you two. You were neighbors, and finally friends; you weren’t going to ruin it because of your unrequited crush on him.

The pounding in your head increased when you heard with clarity and annoyance the repetitive yell of shots. The song seemed to shake your entire apartment and you growled, stomping over and banging on Tom’s door with your fist.

“Hey! It’s a fucking Thursday night!” you yelled, despite your normal timid manner. You seriously just wanted to fall straight asleep and head to work tomorrow and make a final decision on this location. You were losing time and patience and the capacity to care when a face split into a wide grin upon seeing you at the door.

“Hey hey, Y/N!” Harrison’s blue eyes were unfocused and shiny, his smile too big for his face. He stumbled to grab your arm, his grip much tighter as he used all his strength to pull you in.

“Guys, look who I found!” The word “guys” had you at unease, but you surveyed the people around you carefully. You would know the Spider-Man cast anywhere, and Tom’s apartment was definitely a place where you’d seen them the most.

Tony and Jacob both had on tilted ball caps, and when Tony ran to hug you it fell off. “Oh thank god you’re hear Y/N!” he hiccuped, slinging an arm around your shoulder. “Our man Tom has something to tell you.”

The room dissolved into giggles. It sounded like a first grade classroom, their laughter so innocent and playful. The only boy who didn’t seem to be partaking in the fun was Tom, his lips set in a pout as he shoved Jacob weakly.

“Knock it off, boys,” he told them his voice sharp against theirs. He didn’t appear to be as drunk as they were, but the goofy grin that followed proved otherwise.

After another round of laughter, you tried to shrug Tony away from you, but he was heavier without full control over his body. You felt uncomfortable being around four drunk men, who were all stronger than you. Despite knowing that they meant well, the entire situation read badly.

“Tony, please get off me,” you mumbled, which seemed to earn his attention. He stood up straight, raising his arm up mechanically. You took a step back, holding your arms to make yourself small. “Guys, I get that you’re having fun, but I have work to finish, so can you-“

“You’re a location scout, right?” Jacob asks in the moment of lucidity. You nod, watching warily as Jacob stands, holding his hand out to you.

“Jacob Batalon, best actor in this room. If you’re ever in a pinch for actors, you know where to find me.”

“Jacob,” you said slowly, your handshake becoming too long. “We’ve met before.”

“Best actor in the room? Tom has a fucking BAFTA!” Harrison argued over the music, but you both paid no mind to him.

“Uh, I think I’d know if I met anyone as pretty as you. At least, I think you are. I can’t really see, but you’re Y/N, right?”

“Jacob,” you sighed, exasperated. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you were halfway to launching into an explanation before he cut you off.

“Tom’s been going off about this Y/N girl. She lives across the street or something. I’m like, Tom, dude, amigo. How do you know if she’s pretty if she’s all the way over there?” He pointed out the window and you frowned, wondering just what in the world he was on about.

“Jacob I know you! I live next door.” He snapped his fingers loudly, looking back at Tony with wide eyes.

“Tony! It’s the girl, the one Tom mmhmm-“ Harrison covered Jacob’s mouth with his hands, trying to sit him back down. You raised a brow, looking between the four of them before sighing.

“Clearly I’m not getting anything through to you, so I’ll just do it myself.” You huffed, turning to what you believed was the source of the booming music. A stack of black rectangular sound systems sat on a shelf below Tom’s T.V, each of them appearing to be on. In the background, yelling had ensued, with Jacob’s mouth finally free of Harrison’s grip. You paid no mind as you decided to simply turn the volume down. You twisted the dial a little too far, making the music so quiet, that their shouts became clearer.

“Why the hell not! You’re not going to have any other chance!”

“Your girlfriend dumped you, now is the perfect time to tell her!”

“And say what? ‘Hey Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since the day we met’?”

It kept going, not even missing a beat as the four boys started piling shout after shout on top of the others. You, however, had your hands over your mouth, slowly rising to stand up. Your mind tried to process the words in the order you heard them in, making sure it matched what you thought. Your heart felt like it would leap from your chest, knees knocking as you struggled to understand.

Tom liked you. He had since the day you met. And he didn’t plan on telling you.

It was news to you that his girlfriend was no more, but even bigger than that was the idea that each of his friends already knew that he was in love with you. That sentiment seemed like common knowledge, considering its blunt outburst hadn’t shocked anyone to silence.

Suddenly Harrison’s cheeky winks and Tom’s bright smiles seemed more than just coincidences. You wanted to run up to Tom and tell him that you felt the same way, that he meant more to you than just a neighbor or a friend. You felt your heart clench as you realized that those words were never meant to be presented like this. You weren’t supposed to know.

In some nice universe Tom would tell you over another shared mug of coffee, or an a first date somewhere sweet and thoughtful. In some nice universe you could kiss him for saying that, and he’d kiss you back.

But this was not some nice universe, and this shit always happened. You let yourself out, sliding back against the cold metal door and letting out a sob that had been working its way through your chest.

Perhaps that nice universe would only ever be a daydream


No. 4: the incident where the tables have turned

Not but two days after the drunken episode, you walked up the stairs to find Tom, sitting outside his apartment like a lost puppy. He bounced his phone on one knee, the other keeping his forehead up as he scrolled through his phone. After a moment he locked it, turning his head to see you, dazed and confused.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, his loud voice reminding you of Thursday night, and the deflated way he had yelled your name, saying that he was in love with you. You were starting to believe it; you could see his eyes light up whenever they found you, a small but genuine smile tilting his lips upward. For someone who had just lost a significant other, Tom seemed pretty much in one piece.

Maybe because you were the one seeing him.

Nevertheless, you raised an eyebrow in silent question, to which Tom sheepishly smiled. “I seem to have locked myself out of my own apartment,” he told you, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets. He was well cleaned up, considering the last time you’d seen him he was smashed beyond compare.

Before you even had the thought of stopping, you blurted, “Doesn’t your girlfriend have a key?”

It was like kicking a puppy; a small, adorable little puppy that only wanted your attention for half a second. The mirth drained out of his face and his eyes quickly dropped to the floor. His hands swung aimlessly by his side. You wanted to take it back, say you were sorry or that you forgot, but you weren’t even supposed to know in the first place.

“Alice and I broke up,” he sighed, and all you could think was ‘So her name was Alice.’

You tried to morph your face into sympathy and surprise, but you weren’t sure how well you pulled it off. “Oh, shit Tom, I’m sorry,” you expressed, wanting to reach out and touch his shoulder, but withholding yourself. Pretending you didn’t know about his feelings for you was so difficult, and you weren’t sure why. It wasn’t like you to be flirty or drop hints, but for some reason that was all you wanted to do: wrap your arms around him, tell him he’d be fine, and remind him that you were next door if he needed you.

In some nice universe that would work, but this wasn’t time or place.

“My spare key is with Harrison, surprise surprise,” Tom joked, which you smiled at.

“You’re never going to see that key again,” you laughed, bringing back a sliver of a smile to the man’s face. He looked better with it, you thought, doing nothing for the butterflies in your stomach. Your laughter calmed down enough for you to shrug. “You can come stay at my place until he gets here, if you don’t have anything to do.”

His eyes widened, but he hid it by raising his left brow. “Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

“Considering it returning the favor. Besides, I’m always in your apartment. We need a change of scenery.” You unlocked your door, coming into your apartment with tense shoulders. Tom had never been in here before, and there was a reason for that. His presence in your apartment would gradually become less and less strange, making him just a part of your home than the couch or the curtains. You didn’t want him to be so familiar that it seemed like he belonged here, because he didn’t. He belonged in his nice white apartment, far away from whatever you had going on here.

There wasn’t much. You weren’t a minimalist, but you preferred less pillows and decorations than actual furniture. The colors were mostly neutral blues and greys, with red here or there. Along the walls were huge posters of cities you’d visited for work. Ashville, Slab City, Roswell, and other obscure towns were littered across your living room, and when you looked back you noticed Tom was staring at all of them.

“You’ve been to all these places?” he inquired, awe lacing his voice. You were shocked by his curiosity, considering he travelled all the time for his job. His face was fixed on the posters, before catching the little framed photos around the bookshelves. “Holy shit, is that you?”

He had the frame in his hand now, and judging from it, you were sure he was indulging himself in staring at a truly mortifying high school photo of yours. “Who are these people?” he pointed, and you grimaced.

“High school friends, if you couldn’t tell by our bad fashion choices,” you groaned, coming up beside him and studying the picture. You were in the middle, as you often were in group photos because everyone was taller than you. It didn’t particularly matter in this instance; you were squatting down, your hands clasped as if in prayer, staring down the camera with a smirk. Above you, four of your friends had lifted up the shortest girl in your group, perching her on their shoulders. It looked like a dysfunctional human pyramid.

“I don’t think I have a picture of me and my mates half as cool as this,” Tom remarked, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“You think that’s cool? I think we were more crazy than cool,” you spoke wistfully, setting the picture back down. “I’m not even sure why I keep that around. It doesn’t really fit in with this whole thing,” you gestured wildly, pointing at the dozens of colorful photos. Tom’s eyes landed wherever your finger pointed, until the rested back on you.

“Which one of these is your favorite?” he asked, turning in a circle to view every landscape. You put a finger to your lips, eyeing each one carefully, until you landed on one filled with green and purple.

“I took this in Glasgow, about four years ago,” you stated, standing beside a quite large picture of a sprawling field of bluebells. “First time scouting overseas, and a studio needed pictures of old woods to use as concept art. I was with a senior photographer on this one, but he let me take the shots they eventually used.” You glanced up at the photo in reverence, before looking over to Tom.

His face expressed pure adoration, and you found that his eyes rested more so on you than the photo. He seemed to be in a trance, only snapped out of the daze a minute after you’d stopped talking. He tried to shake the grin off, but it was too late. So he went with it, smiling even wider.

“Wow. I’ve been to Scotland before, and I knew it was beautiful. But that?” he threw his hands down and you laughed at his gesture. “I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

“You just have to know where to look. I know I never would have found this place if David wasn’t so familiar with Glasgow,” you told him, heading into the kitchen for drinks. “Next time, take someone who knows what to look for.”

“Maybe I should take you.” It was supposed to be mumbled under his breath, just a wish he kept to himself, but he let his guard down. You heard him, freezing as you stuck your head into the fridge, thanking the heavens that you had a cover for your burning face. You wanted to turn around and tell him yes; absolutely, positively, one-hundred-percent were you on board with going anywhere with him. You wanted to joke that you’d pack your luggage right then and there, that between two seasoned travelers like you, there was sure to be a discount somewhere.

But all you could do was force down the thoughts, grabbing two cokes from the fridge before pressing them to your face. You turned to Tom and smiled, a restrained, glowing thing that startled him, for he hesitantly stepped towards you.

“Maybe you should. Glasgow is one of my favorite places. I’d be happy to show you around.” You hoped you didn’t come off as anything other than friendly, but knowing the situation you were both in, there was no telling his response.

Tom just blinked, his face like a deer in headlights. Suddenly his face was tinted in pick and he smiled, looking down at his shoes bashfully. “I don’t know when we’d ever do it,” he commented, rooting you two back in the reality, the place where you both had jobs to do and obligations to others. But it had been nice, dreaming of Scotland with Tom. Perhaps it would come true.

There was a calm silence that settled in between the conversation, which was ripped away when Tom’s cell rang. He picked it up with reluctance, before making a face at the id. “Haz you better be downstairs or else I’m hanging up.” There was a bit of yelling on the other side, Harrison’s voice distorted by the traffic outside. Tom listened for a moment more before nodded, cutting his eyes over to you.

“Yeah, you can just open yourself, you’re always there anyways,” he quipped, ending the line before sighing. “Sorry, that was Haz, he’s here with my key.” Every word he said sounded breathless, a string of words in an almost incomprehensible British accent and an apology mixed in somewhere. You smiled, before jumping up.

“Oh! Before I forget,” you babbled, reaching into a packed kitchen cabinet for something. You stood on the tips of your toes, reaching for a turned handle before it landed gracefully in your palm. You smiled, handing it over to the dumbfounded man over the counter.

“What’s this?” he asked, turning over the red and blue designed cup. “Is this for me?”

“Yeah! I told you I was going to get you a new mug, I didn’t say what it would look like though.” You bit your lip, wondering if a Spider-Man mug was really the way to go in this situation. In addition to playing the wen head, you knew he had an affinity for the character as well, hoping the combined coincidences would lead him to like it.

He pressed it into his palms, turning it over in the daintiest of ways. He clutched it tight, as though he might break it from just breathing on it. When he picked his head up, you noted the watery glimmer in his brown eyes, which he tried his hardest to blink back. There were so many small things about Tom that made your heart flutter, but you didn’t have time to study them all.

“Thank you,” his small voice took you from your thoughts. “That was really sweet of you. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to,” you relied firmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “And I couldn’t live with myself if I never replaced it. Seriously, take it,” you told him, seeing as he was unwilling to leave with it. He stared at it a little while longer before he jolted, a buzzing sounding from his back pocket.

“Harrison’s here, I should, uh,” He stammered out, slowly taking some steps back. You nodded, giving him a slight wave and then headed back to the kitchen. You didn’t look up until you heard the door open, and then click shut, the air in your apartment much colder than it had been.

You stared around, wondering if you could find differences in your home now that Tom had been inside it. Your old theory was clearly correct, because your place had never felt so lonely and empty since you’d moved in. With a frown, you stared at the picture of Glasgow, wondering if in some other time and place, it was taken by you and Tom.


No.5: the incident where everything becomes clear

You actually burst into his apartment, a loud banging noise that sounds like it belongs in a movie. You’re too dramatic, and for reasons only you can understand.

Two heads turn, almost in sync. Blue eyes stare your form up and down, a quirk in his brows, while Tom just screams “Y/N!” It’s more of an exclamation that a question, which prompts Harrison to ask the obvious.

“What are you doing?” It’s so posh coming from him, the accent highlighting the annoyance in his voice. Or maybe it’s confusion, because he seems baffled not only by your presence, but by your urgency.

Tom doesn’t seem to mind. He’s got wide, shining eyes, and a posture that’s halfway out of the chair he was sitting in. He crosses the length between you two in an instant, throwing you off for a second before you regained proper footing.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, staring you down with those concerned brown hues of his. You wanted to take his face in your hands, and reveal your purpose for being here in the first place.

You were out of breath, from both being so close to him, and from running up three flights of stairs. After getting started on a scouting job earlier this week, you requested half the day off to start finalizing your travel plans. Within the next week you’d be flying into Tokyo and Hong Kong for a few days with Shanghai as a backup plan in case you didn’t get the shots you wanted.

You had been so psyched to start packing and start sharing about your trip, when you came across a moving truck in front of your complex. And lo and behold, you caught the sight of Alice, her arms full of those yellow throw pillows you had seen in his apartment all those weeks ago. Her blue eyes scanned the street until they came to rest on you, shouldering a hand bag that probably cost less than her foundation.

Her eyes turned to steel, lips curved in the most menacing grimace you’d ever seen. Her eyes appeared watery as you came closer, the grimace turning into a full-blown snarl the longer you stayed in her vicinity.

You practcally ran away, heart pounding out of fear. It wasn’t that Alice was mean or nasty towards you; it was that you could understand why she didn’t like you. You didn’t know the specifics of their breakup, but if you could guess, you figured Tom’s affection towards you might have played a factor in it.

The guilt burned your chest, but there was something else there you didn’t understand, something that led you to Tom’s unlocked door. In the awkward silence between you two, you wondered why it was unlocked, and why he didn’t seem to question why you were here. The longer he stared at you, the more your fingers itched, and the more you yearned to touch him.

So you pulled him out of the apartment, his feet tripping over the threshold as the door closed behind him. You caught a glimpse of Harrison’s face, blue eyes shining with mirth before he winked, clicking it shut. Tom turned his head to look back, but you grabbed his cheeks, making him face you.

He opened his mouth to ask something, but the question was caught it his throat. Your lips were suddenly on his, and he shifted closer to you, like it was an instinct. Like he got kissed by breathless girls outside his apartment on a daily basis.

His arms wrapped around your waist, before coiling tightly, his nails digging into your jacket. Your hands left his cheeks, instead falling to the nape of his neck, where you brushed small curls of hair with your knuckles. Everything about kissing Tom felt like fitting into a jigsaw puzzle; you knew exactly where everything went. From your hands to your chest to your lips, every part of you felt in place.

Tom eyes opened as he pulled back, gazing at you like he would a star in the sky. “Why did you do that?” His nearly inaudible voice was shaky, his hands running up and down your sides. He tried to still himself, but you could feel the skittish energy he was trying hard to contain.

You wound your arms around his neck, pressing yourself closer to him. “I don’t actually know,” you told him seriously, a smile in your lips.

He tried to roll his eyes, but he too was smiling at you. “You just did it, because? Just because you could?”

“Because I’ve wanted to for a long time. Because you accidently said last Thursday that you were in love with me. And because I’m in love with you too.”

Tom’s arms dropped and he balked, watching you with a gaping mouth. “You heard that? You heard me say that?” he reiterated, looking you in the eye. When you nodded he groaned, placing his head in his hands. He refused to look at you when you coaxed him out of his shame.

“I can’t believe you knew that,” he muttered, his face turning redder by the second. You tiptoed up and kissed the crown of his head, causing him to peek at you through his fingers.

“I’m sorry you’re embarrassed, but if I didn’t know I’d never have the guts to kiss you,” you compromised, pulling his hands away from his face. “C’mon, this situation isn’t all bad.”

“It’s not bad at all, really,” he sighed, a content smile gracing his lips. “I mean, you did say you were in love with me too, right?”

“Do kisses not mean anything to you Brits? Is that just like, a thing you guys do?” You poked fun at him, earning another small peck on your lips to shut you up. You smiled and laughed, making it messy and causing his lips to end up short squish against your cheek. He rolled with it though, smothering your face with tiny little pecks, squeezing you tight in his arms.

From somewhere in the apartment, Harrison screamed “Finally!”

Hot Like Burning

Sterek, 2.5K words, Teen

AU, Firefighter Derek

In which Derek is the grumpy neighborhood firefighter, and Stiles is a bit of a lovestruck idiot.


Stiles winces as he turns the corner, unbearably nervous like he always is whenever he drives Lydia’s car, and pulls into the fire station. He offered this morning to help her with any errands she needed, and she asked him to take her car to the fire station and have them install the car seat. Stiles had no idea this was even a thing—seriously, how hard is it to put in a car seat?—but unsurprisingly, Lydia is as fastidious about her unborn child’s safety as she is about everything else.

He parks just outside the front door, careful not to block the big bays with the two fire trucks, and wanders inside. “Hello?” he calls out. There’s a noise coming from the other side of the fire truck, so Stiles keeps walking in that direction, then nearly trips over his own two feet.

There’s a guy, crouched down as he washes the wheel well of the fire truck, and Stiles is 101 percent sure that he’s the most attractive person he’s ever seen. He’s frowning, as if he’s pissed at the task in front of him, but it only serves to show off the sharp cut of his jaw under a very nicely-shaped short beard. He’s wearing a tight short-sleeved SFFD t-shirt, which is wet in patches and very clearly showing off the muscled physique underneath.

“Holy shit.”

The guy’s head jerks up at that, his eyes wide, and his gaze locks with Stiles’ for a long second before slowly drifting down the rest of his body. Stiles damn near forgets how to breathe because yep, this impossibly hot dude is most definitely checking him out.

Stiles has never believed in love at first sight, and he still doesn’t, but as of this moment he most certainly does believe in…familiarity at first sight? Cosmic connection? Just plain lust? He has no fucking clue.

But he yelps a little in surprise, then actually manages to trip over nothing, only catching himself by clutching the pillar next to him, which oh fuck, is actually the fire pole. He finally rights himself, grimacing with both arms spread for balance, and then slaps a hand over his eyes with a plaintive groan.

“Oh my god. Hi, hello, my name is Stiles. Uh, any chance we can start over and pretend that this excruciatingly embarrassing encounter didn’t happen?”

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