The Joker x Reader -“Obsession”
The Joker has an obsession: you. He doesn’t really need another one added to the pile but…anyway, here it is. Brace yourself you lucky girl - you’re in for a treat.
Related to this: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/162770482096/the-joker-x-reader-yuki
– He keeps on dropping things on purpose so you can pick them up, this way he can stare at your butt.
You know, for being the Joker, your boyfriend is pretty clumsy: he keeps on dropping stuff all the time. Like, right now, he just dropped his pen and you are fast to bend over and get it for him.
Intense purring immediately follows.
– J took you shopping and you were so excited when you smelled “Gucci Guilty” for men. You thought it’s a divine scent and he got 10 bottles without you knowing, replacing his current cologne with the Gucci one. He has those stashed all over the place while he still keeps in sight his usual fragrance: Clive Christian - “No.1” .
You have a feeling he smells like “Gucci Guilty”.
“Are you wearing Gucci Guilty?” you sniff the air around him with a huge smile on your face.
“Nope,” The Joker keeps on piling up money in boxes, trying to ignore you.
“Are you sure?” the insistent question pops up because you got a vibe you’re onto something here.
“I think I know since I’m the one that put it on, hm? Stop pestering me!!!” he barks your way and you just turn around, biting on your lip, stricken with fascination: your boyfriend does smell like GG, no point in denying it. Where is the damn bottle? (Well… bottles, but you have no clue there are 10 of them).
– You love knives; they are your favorite weapons. Mister J believes it’s classy as hell: in a world of guns, his girl is sooo stylish using sharp blades. You don’t know yet, but he ordered 50 personalized gold plated knives with your initials on them. He plans to give them to you for your 2 year anniversary.
* J totally loves it when you use him as target practice: such a turn on when the blades shriek by him, he gets very impatient.
“Don’t move, baby, I wouldn’t wanna cut something you might need to use later, hm?” you always wink at him, teasing even more just because you can.
Your boyfriend loves guns. So you will surprise him for you 2 year anniversary with a special gift: you will order 20 personalized guns for him from the place that all Gotham’s underworld knows about. Upfront they sell jewelry but the basement it’s a different story.
“I want to order 20 customized guns: half green, half purple background, gold plated,” you start your order.
“Sure, may I ask who they’re for? We can personalize even more,” the guy offers, pointing towards the multitude of catalogues lying around.
“Daddy,” you reply, absent minded since some fancy grenades caught your eye.
“Ummm…Probably… around 39,” you debate, deep in thought.
“Oohhh, OK,” the seller finally understands.”Got’cha!”
You smack your lips and it clicks for the person.
“Hold on, is the order for Mister J ?”
“Of course it’s for him, who else?!” you frown, irritated by the question.
“Oh my God, so sorry, I didn’t recognized you with this purple hair!”
“Whatever!” you grumble, grouchy he needed so many hints to figure it out.
“Would you also like to add his logo on all the guns?”
You roll your eyes, exasperated:
“Well, duh, HE IS The Joker, isn’t he???!!!!”
“Such a Goddam temper,” he thinks, aiming not to annoy you since you are famous for your short fuse.
* You totally love it when J uses you as target practice: such a torn on when the bullets shriek by your ears, you get very impatient.
“Don’t move, Pumpkin, I wouldn’t want to shoot something you might need later, yes?” and he always takes his shirt off, teasing even more just because he can.
– He likes to watch you sleep. Sometimes The Joker spends hours just staring at you. One night he cut off a small strand of your hair and hid it in the nob of his favorite cane since it’s hollow, this way he always has a piece of you with him. He detests being so infatuated but he can’t help it.
You like to watch your boyfriend sleep; you spend hours just staring at him. One night you cut off a strand of his hair and hid it in the pendant he gave you last year and never part with, this way you always have a piece of him with you. You hate it that you are so infatuated but can’t help it.
And you love his hands. When he’s asleep, you just like to look at his fingers, pressing your palm against his, caressing the soft skin. Sometimes he wakes up.
“What are you doing, Princess?” he opens just one eye, not knowing what’s going on.
“Nothing,” you are fast to reply, kissing his knuckles and keeping one of his hands prisoner for the rest of the night.
– Once every 3 months or so, your boyfriend is in a good mood so you try to take advantage of the rare occurrence. This time, for example, you convinced J to let you put makeup on him because you want to have an idea on how he looked like before the “Ace Chemicals” incident. A little bit of foundation to cover the scars and tattoos, bringing the skin and lips to a natural tone plus a dark blonde wig with a similar haircut to cover the toxic green locks.
“Wow, you were so gorgeous before too!” you gasp, admiring your work and how flawless The Joker seems. In your opinion, of course; Batsy wouldn’t share the same belief.“So this is how you looked like before?!”
“More or less,” he smirks, loving to see you so worked up about the whole thing. “Can’t argue with that statement though, I am a very good looking guy.”
You take a picture of him like that and set it up as your new screensaver, gulping when he gets up all shirtless, taking the wig off, being done with the experiment. A miracle doesn’t last for long - just like his patience.
“I’m gonna go and wash this stuff off,” he stretches and heads towards the bathroom when you block his way.
“Noooot so fast, handsome. I was kind of thinking to have a one night stand with this stranger I’ve just met,” you lock your arms around his neck, determined to have fun with him like that.
“Well, this stranger’s services are very expensive. I come with a high price. Still interested?” The Joker grumbles in your ear because he doesn’t want to say no to some crazy stuff for sure.
You just snicker and push him on the couch, starting to undress.
* Later you both go to one of your clubs to enjoy a night out. While you change your dress in the VIP room upstairs, one of the waitresses brings J his drink, thinking she can finally get you in trouble with your man. She despises you but you wouldn’t know since you never pay attention to those girls.
“E-hem, Mister J?…” she clears her throat, getting ready to talk crap.
“What?” he snarls, watching over the club from behind the smoky windows.
“Sir, I’m sorry to bring the bad news, but I think your girlfriend is cheating on you,” she blurs out and he lifts his chin up to finally look at her.
“Yes, Mister J, I saw it with my own eyes. Y/N keeps on glaring at the screen saver she has on her phone; definitely not your picture sir. I caught her kissing the image and she turned off the cell right away, pretending nothing happened.”
He sighs, tapping his cane on the floor.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, sir, I swear!” a smile appears on her face, happy you are probably a goner now.
“That woman! How dares she?!” J huffs and pushes her away, then strolls upstairs while she silently follows.
He barges in the VIP room, slamming the silver door behind him.
“Almost done, baby,” you cheerfully announce, putting on another coat of mascara.
“Who is that asshole on your phone?” he raises his voice and the waitress bites on her nails, enticed at your misfortune.
“Umm…My boyfriend?” you giggle and turn to face him, wondering if you’re playing roles again.
“Boyfriend?! How dare you sleeping with somebody else behind my back, huh?” and he tosses the cane to the floor with all his strength, making the woman jump on the other side of the door.
Oh, she’s gonna get it ! she victoriously chuckles to herself, silently clapping.
You are going to get it, but not in the way she thinks.
“I couldn’t help it,” you play along, not having a clue about what’s going on but if he wants to go this way, heeeeyy, works for you.
“You are so paying for this, nobody cheats on me!!!!” J yells, starting to rip your dress off while you do the same with his shirt.
She’s going to pay for it ! I hope he kills her, the woman gets all excited, waiting for the bad turn she is responsible for.
You are going to pay for it, but not in the way she thinks.
She hears a loud thud, your scream and The Joker grunting, then …moans?!
What the hell is going on?! she wonders, baffled, still listening at the door for a few more moments before leaving.
Needless to say nobody saw her again after that night. Who knows what happened? People disappear all the time, right?
– You can fix things and J goes
insane for it. He breaks shit on purpose.
“Doll, we have a water leak under the kitchen sink !” he shouts and places his elbows on the table, waiting for you.
“Again?!” you reply from the balcony, but go and get the tool box so you can take a look. You get under the sink and begin to work on the problem.
Intense purring immediately follows.
You don’t know how, but something always breaks around the penthouse. It’s a mystery since everything is the best quality money can buy. Like, why do you have another water leak under the sink?! You just had one two days ago. And The Joker is purring so loud. Why is he all excited about?!
– You love huskies so J got you a puppy. Best present ever! Since you love Japanese names, you named the fur ball Yuki. The first trick you taught your doggie makes you melt when you watch it in action:
“Yuki, go bite Daddy!” The puppy jumps from your lap and charges at your boyfriend, grabbs his shoelace and pulls on it while growling up a storm:
“Grrrrrrr!!! Grrrrr!!! Grrrrrr!!!!”
J would love to break its neck, but how can you kill something that kind of growls like you?!
“Cut it out, mutt !” he threatens but bends over to pet the puppy. He hears you whistling with admiration.
“Wow, nice ass baby!”
* The puppy likes to sleep on your tummy. You are watching a movie with J and it’s boring so you need something more interesting to see.
“Yuki, go bite Daddy!” The doggie’s ears go straight up and he rushes to get the enemy, pulling on the t-shirt he didn’t take off yet.
“Grrrrrr!!!! Grrrrr!!!! Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!!”
“So annoying!” The Joker complains, but caresses the fluffy pest and as a response he gets licked all over his face. And barked at too, in between.
You are absolutely and utterly thrilled.
“Now I have two sets of blue eyes I adore,” you grin with admiration, and your boyfriend doesn’t like that.
“I’m the only one you adore. Period,” and he starts growling.
Yuki’s tail wiggles with eagerness while jumping up and down by The Joker.
“Grrrr!!! Grrrrrr!!! Grrrrr!!”
J growls some more; Yuki is stunned and continues to growl also.
“Are you two having a contest?” you start laughing, reaching over to separate the two feisty males. The puppy cuddles in your arms, barking at his other owner.
When The Joker’s arm reaches towards you, Yuki hops on it, keeping it in place, not having any of it.
“Stop it, mutt ! I need my girl!”
His fingers are softly getting chewed on and more growling follows.
“Seriously?! I want to have sex with my woman, get lost!” and Yuki gets lift up and locked outside the master bedroom, but not before it gets more petting and squeezing. His intention was to break the puppy’s neck, but how can you kill something that kind of growls like you?!
– J hopes you are not going to notice how much he’s obsessed with you. It will get to your head and he already spoils you too much.
You hope that your boyfriend won’t notice how obsessed you are with him. It will get to his head and you already indulge his every whim. Even if he is soooo clumsy. Like, right now, J just dropped his gun and you are quick to bend over and get it for him.
Intense purring immediately follows.
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