You pull yourself up from
the fallen tree as you see Bilbo stand as well. You try to not look down since
you were afraid of heights, but you can’t help it as a strong wind blows and
knocks you down. You cling to the trunk and look up, watching in terror as the
orc moves closer to a struggling Thorin.
Sheila I am Mexican too and I have thought about skin bleaching a lot. I know I shouldn't but sometimes I think it might be easier to be whiter. What was your experience with it?
Let me tell you right now that I’m not going to yell at you. Or make you feel guilty. If your like me, you already feel really guilty for even THINKING about bleaching. A lot of the small, discreet forums I ran too when I first started bleaching were these tiny corners of the internet where mexican, hispanic, and black girls talked on forum about where to buy bleaches, how they got lighter. And they were always interspliced with us trying to tell each other to be strong, to stop, to not feel bad about what they were doing but also encouraging others not to start. It’s a sucky, sucky place to be, but I understand that you’re there. You know? And sometimes the act of controlling the shade of your skin can feel like overcoming the insecurity (its not.)
Instead Imma tell you the realities of skin bleaching.
First off, most of the brightening and bleaching products ARENT frederally regulated. I mean, they are super fucking dangerous. Just fyi. These companies are super shady and the ingrediants to even the FDA approved over-the-counter prescriptions of lighteners, have been linked to causing cancer. Over extended periods of time, it has been known to give a higher risk of, and even cause, cancer. They are still banned in a lot of countries. Yes, these are products that are used to help patients with post-sugery spotting, scarring, that are prescribed whiteners. Or even Vitilago patients, but even they are told the serious dangers and they are just using it for exactly that. SPOTTING. Not slathering it on your whole body.
Aside from being really fucking expensive, the ultimate thing that stopped me and others was this.
You can’t actually strip your skin of melanin/pigment.
It’s just not scientifically possible. Bleaching doesn’t actually BLEACH your skin. It just -delays and stops the melanin from forming- thats it. And in some whiteners, like the soap bar whitener, its actually peeling off layers of your skin to the non tanned cells beneath, and delaying melanin. This leads to redness, allergies, skin infections, and itchyness like a mutherfucker. It can be really painful.
But that also means that no matter how much you whiten, because you are only stopping melanin from forming instead of stripping, you will always be as tan as you are to begin with. You can only peel back and stop your layers so much before you reach your base shade.
So guess what that means?
Your shade will always come back.
Unless you plan on bleaching forever (see above about cancer) you will never reach a point that you won’t be tan, or won’t be in ‘need’ of bleaching. It will always, always come back. Because as soon as you stop using it, your melanin starts producing again. Unless of course, you damage your skin so badly you start DARKENING.
Yup, skin bleaching can also cause you to darken.
And I don’t mean, it makes you get tanner. It blackens you. It’s called exogenous ochronosis. It’s when your skin gets damaged by the use of whiteners/bleachers and starts BLACKENING. Mostly in the thinner areas of your skin. Around your eyes is the most common one. Its practically unrepairable. Unless you want to sit under lasers at the dermatogloist weeks on end.
And finally, the shades you whiten never feel like enough. We all experienced this. It’ s a paranoia from your insecurity. As white as you get, you’ll still be staring at the mirror thinking ‘im too dark, im too dark.’ Because in the end it’s in your head, not in your skin. You’ll be endlessly torturing your body to try and fix your mind. I still struggle with this, despite having used it for 4-5 years and now stopped for another 4. And I realized that even though I was actively getting lighter, I was still not happy. Still not satisfied. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t targeting the right problem. What I had been made to think. Not what I had been made AS.
And now, because I had beat up my skin so badly, I notice how much more easily I scar, I darken, I sun spot. The exact opposite of what I wanted. But i made my skin so tender, its more prone to tanning than not.
I hope this helps. I know that when I realized all these things it turned me off completely, and many of the other girls that helped me stopped other from using just by explaining what they might be getting into.
I’m always, always here to talk about this! On anon or privately!
Really shocked by your history. I had no idea Sylar was like that... aren't you ever worried that he's cheated on you too? In my experience people like that don't change that drastically, that quickly. He was apparently smooth enough to fool all those other girls and it sounds like he was a first for you in many ways. Obviously my experience isn't universal and I sincerely hope your trust in him is well placed, but not gonna lie, this information does make me worry for you a little. I'm sorry.
Hey, Sylar here ^^
Sheila would sit and tell you all about the trust and everything and blahblah, but I figure an inside perspective would be nice.
I cheated a lot because I was bored and young.
I am neither bored nor as young now. I understand the emotional toll and weight of such actions. I all admit that a number of the times I cheated was neither out of spite or not being sexually fulfilled. I was just a young shithead who was bored.
Your question is very fair, and I understand where it comes from, as well as understand why you’d be worried for sheila. I did a lot of cheating, and was cheated on several times. When you’re cheated ON, you have a better perspective on what its like. A young vindictive teenage Sylar saw something that hurt him, and rather than be a victim of it, decided to have all the shitty rude fun he could and fill a lot of bored time, moving from one slightly more liked girl to the next. .It does take a certain kind of person. But I was not an adult, and I was never in a fulfilling, adult relationship.
Sheila challenges and engages me in ways I hadn’t thought were part of a relationship before I met her (when I was 16 btw). There was so much free time on my hands that I spent just being a horny fucking kid.
I’ve never a once thought about it with Sheila, if I’m being completely, as because in every way that matters to me, she satisfies, fulfills, and engages me not just as a sexual partner, but on an emotional and intellectual level. We have explored facets of each other’s desires and personalities to the point of actual discovery. I’ve learned things not just about her, but about myself. I’ve grown alongside her, and while you might not like to hear it from me ((the cheater)), I am, still after seven years, enraptured by sheila’s beautiful mind and wonderfully open heart.
tldr; I was a stupid shitty asshole boy and sheila whipped me into shape. I love her and I owe it to her that I understand those actions as wrong, and I would never do that to her, or any other person so long as I live.
ok ok the longer this sits in my drafts the more things i start to hate about it so lemme just get rid of this real quick *squints*i think i got…….all of them………i mean i didnt put andy or freckles but i hate andy and i forgot about freckles so…….theres that…………….i dont think carolina counts….the wiki says she doesnt so……………
EDIT: oh shit i just wanted to fyi –dude in the purple sweater is actually flowers, not doc, though yea, that does seem kinda like duh now, so gomen for that
christians: *get mad when non christians wear a cross necklace*
christians: *wear a bindi*
christians: *wear prints of hindu gods on their socks*
christians: *have hindu gods on their bed sheets*
christians: omg calm down it’s just a glittery dot!!!!!!! omg i look so exotic and hot now!! i love coachella im so fucking deep and foreign rn yayayay!!!1! bindis are just fashion accessories, hindus are so sensitive ughhhhhh what is cultural appropriation???
“I would never choose between my two children, what kind of mother do you think I am!” Exclaimed Sheila, before storming off. Gerald shook his head and cleared his throat. He looked around, making sure neither his wife nor his eldest son was around to hear.
“ Ike is my favorite.” Said Gerald bluntly. “I see more of myself in him”
im pretty sure my roommate B and I are in a lowkey nice-fight over bagels. i know that he likes plain bagels so thats what i buy when i go to the store. but he knows that i like everything bagels so thats what he buys when he goes to the store and let me just say i am eating an everything bagel right now and it tastes like defeat.
we are never going to run out of bagels when its his turn to shop again.