i am self conscious but i tried okay

More Than Bubbles - Part 1

Okay guys.. SUPRISE I am joining the club.. This is the first fic I have ever written. Please keep in mind that English isn’t my first language but I tried my best. I didn’t felt self conscious enough to even try writing a fic. Until a couple days ago when I had this dream and I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. I just needed to write it down.

A huge THANK YOU to my twinny Emma @fillthevoid-stilinski for motivating me and giving me enough courage to even post this. Plus for answering every single one of my stupid questions and most of all for proofreading and editing this. I love you a lot ❤️

 And also thank you to @cynicallystiles for helping me out 💜 I really appreciate it 😘

 Please let me know what you think and if you wanna have a part 2 because that’s not the whole story I had in mind… I just wanted to wait and see what you guys think.

Part 2

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Words: 1273

Warnings: bullying, fluff 

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines


Scott, Stiles and I have been best friends ever since I can remember. Our parents knew each other in high school. I don’t know how it feels to be without them and to be honest, I don’t want to. They’re not only my best friends but for a long time my only friends. Ever since I was a little child, I was very shy and self-conscious about myself. I never felt like I was good enough, pretty enough or thin enough. But those boys always made sure I didn’t feel lonely. It has always been just the three of us.

That changed sophomore year of high school when Allison moved to Beacon Hills and Scott fell in love with her. From the moment she walked into our classroom, I knew he fell for her hard. I knew that because he looked at her the exact way I look at Stiles. Yes, Stiles. He may be more than just a best friend. For a long time, I had unexplained feelings towards him. Stiles doesn’t know about these feelings and it has to stay that way. Our friend group grew a little more since Allison and Scott got together three years ago. Lydia, Malia and Issac had joined the group as well. 

I feel safe when I’m with my friends but when I’m alone, it feels like everyone is staring at me. I hate walking to classes alone, Stiles always try to escort me because he knows how anxious I can get. But sometimes it isn’t possible, like right know. I’m walking alone to my next class feeling everyones eyes on me when I hear someone say “Look who is walking all alone today. I wonder if her ‘friends’ finally noticed that they were way out of her league! She is just a fat pig. I mean look how pretty Lydia and Allison are.” I feel the tears slowing coming but I can’t let them see me weak.

I start walking faster until I’m in the bathroom and just let the tears flow down my cheeks. Luckily I’m all alone and nobody can hear me cry.

After a couple of minutes, I try to get myself together because I need to go to class, I can’t afford to fail any classes this year. Staring at my own reflection in the mirror, my eyes are a little bit red and my mascara is a bit smudged but I didn’t care enough to fix it. All I can think about is that they are right. I’m not good enough to be friends with them. Not pretty like Allison or Lydia. Not good enough for his love. And I never will be.

The sound of the bell ringing for the next class rips me out of my thoughts. I pick my backpack off the ground and rush out of the bathroom directly into Stiles arms. “There you are Bubble! I was looking for you!” I smile a little at the nickname he gave me back when we were children, I was totally obsessed with blowing bubbles.

“Wait were you crying in there? What’s wrong?” he asks me after realizing the state I’m in. “Oh it’s nothing.” I shot back hoping that he wouldn’t ask anymore questions.

I start walking away as fast as I can. “Y/N ?! Wait!” he yells after me but I already disappeared into the crowd of students to avoid explaining why I was crying.

I can barely concentrate in class. My brain keeps wandering back to the situation earlier. Dark thoughts clouding my mind to the point that I can’t take it anymore. Without thinking and saying anything, I grab my stuff and just run out of the classroom, out of the school. I just want to go out home and be alone.

It has been 6 hours since I came home from school. Luckily my parents are currently away on a business trip so I could just lay in my bed and feel sorry for myself. And that was exactly what I was doing for the past couple of hours. I didn’t even bother to take off my shoes or unpack my stuff.

My mobile was also still in my backpack and thats why I haven’t read any of the 15 messages and didn’t see the 7 missed calls Stiles has left.

You can imagine how confused I was when I heard the front door open and footsteps running up the stairs. Stiles opens the door to my room, an angry look on his face. I sit up slightly and stare back at him.

Before I could say anything, he starts yelling, “Are you fucking kidding me? I tried to call you like 3 billion times! First, I find you crying in the bathroom and don’t tell me you haven’t cried because I am not stupid!” He closes his eyes, steam nearly coming from his ears, “And then I hear that you just run out of class without any explanation? I worried about you! Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me what happened!”

I immediately start crying again and bury my head in my hands. Loud sobbing noises leaving my lungs. Stiles comes over to my bed and sits down besides me. He embraces me tightly and I just let the tears out. Even though I thought I hadn’t any left. “It’s okay Bubble.. I got you… I’m here.” he says while stroking my hair softly. 

“You shouldn’t be here.. You shouldn’t waste your time on me. I’m not worth it.” I say quietly and it came out more as a whisper but it was loud enough for him to hear. He leans back a bit and takes my face in his hands; One hand on each cheek. He looks me deep in the eye and says “Don’t be stupid y/n. I don’t want to hear that ever again. It’s totally bullshit! Who is saying that?” My eyes wander around the room while explaining to him what happened earlier, avoiding to continue to look in his.

A part of me was afraid to sound stupid. Another part was afraid to realise, based on the look in his eyes, that they were right.

When I finish my story, he stands up from my bed and angrily wanders around the room.Is he angry at my? Is he trying to find the best way to tell me that it is true? That I am indeed not good enough to be friends with them?

He sits down next to me and his eyes find mine again. He takes a deep breath and says “I want you to listen to me okay? Don’t tell Scott I said this but you are the best human on this planet. You are so kind and loving. Remember when my mum died? You were the only person who could make me laugh. I don’t know what I would have done without you so many times. You are my best friend and I love you. You hear me?” His face was so close to mine that I could feel his warm minty breath on face.

A small tear rolls down my cheek which he wipes away with his thumb. My lips slowly curling into a weak smile. He smiles back at me. I could feel the butterflies dancing to the melody of his words in my stomach. All I wanna do is kiss him right now; I believed every word he said. And god knows I love him too. I love him more than I ever loved blowing bubbles. Just not in the way he loves me.

Hello! I thought I will be able to post the 1 chapter today, but my mum just told me that we have to visit my sister and probably won’t be back untill late evening -.-’
But I decided to post a fragment right now :D
I am really sorry for all the mistakes, I swear I will take care of them when I come back.
*and I also had an artblock, and it hurt because I couldn’t draw a thing without fucking it up - example above, but it still better that everything I tried to draw lately, so.-*
Okay, so… here it is.
Short, probably full of mistakes, and I’m REALLY self conscious about it, ugh.
* If you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about ; It’s a fragment of a fic I’m trying to write, based on my Destiel AU.*
Um, so a little warning: John drinks way too much, and he’s a really bad father.

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No offence but jackgyeom’s relationship is so pure and sweet. Jackson loves Yugyeom so dearly as if he was his own little brother and he has so much respect for him too. Like he is always so in awe when Yugyeom dances, no matter how many times or how repetitive the solo dancing gets, Jackson is always cheering the loudest and always hyping Yugyeom up. Let’s not forget how Jackson took Yugyeom to his house in Hong Kong. Or how Yugyeom always tries to cheer Jackson up when he’s down and always compliments with what Jackson is most self conscious about i.e. thighs. The one I always remember is the season 2’s last(?) episode of Real GOT7 where they are in animal onesies and Jackson comes later on. He clearly seems upset about something or is very tired and Yugyeom is like trying to make him laugh, looking at him worriedly, caressing/holding his hand to make sure he’s okay. Ahhhhhhh Anyway they’re both so precious and caring towards each other. I am so emo :’/