i am queen b


Buying the allegiance of a secret army behind the king’s back is not loyalty. It’s treachery.

How (not) to Decorate Your Home for Halloween

SPN Writing Challenge | osirisjones vs. queen-b-flat
Prompt: Skeleton
Pairings: Dean/Cas
Word Count: 2.2K
Tags: post-s8, canonverse, human Castiel, established relationship, Halloween, fluff & humor, teeny tiny case fic

“Let me get this straight,” Dean says. He’s rubbing at the tense furrow between his brows with his thumb, eyes closed as if he’s in pain. Castiel, watching, wants to pull Dean’s hand away and replace it with his mouth, kiss away the wrinkles. He has the feeling that Dean would not find this an acceptable course of action in public. “You wanted to go all-out on Halloween decorations this year. And you’re broke as shit. So you decided to reanimate a couple dozen corpses rather than shell out twenty bucks at Party City for some plastic bones.”

“I didn’t mean to,” the girl moans. Her head is in her hands and her short dark hair is a mess, pulled every which way. “I swear to God, I was just trying to raise one—I even picked out an unmarked grave, you know, one of the ones that’s been here for like, two hundred years? So I don’t, like. I dunno, upset the family, I guess? And I was just gonna have it sit by my door and move every once in a while when trick or treaters came by and freak people out, and then the next day, I swear, I was gonna put it back to rest.”

“Lady,” Dean says, “You raised a whole friggin’ cemetery.”

A bony hand extends holding a tissue extends into Castiel’s vision. Face crumpled up, the girl—Rebecca, twenty-one years old, a college student living off-campus—reaches out and takes the tissue. “Thanks,” she hiccups.

The skeleton clatters a little, like it’s saying You’re very welcome. Then it clacks back to the other room, where roughly a dozen skeletons are waiting patiently. There’s another twenty in the basement. Most of them have been completely decomposed, but a few have stubborn scraps of tissue still clinging to their bones.

Cas can’t decide what the look on Dean’s face is. He flicks his eyes over to Sam, who is trying very hard not to laugh. His mouth is pursed and tight at the edges as it always gets when he sees Dean doing something ridiculous and fails at keeping a straight face.

Keep reading