i am proud of these though

anonymous asked:

ts self-evident ur a koreaboo writing fan fiction and traveling to their country and stealing lang shipping like dolls have great time u racist wannabe korean white girl youll always look like that. shit. go on hiatus longer i don't want to see your ugly mug ever again

I don’t understand this ask at all, no really what the hell is a lang shipping like dolls…? and how am I stealing that/them? also I’m very proud to be norwegian, I love my country. Just because I love traveling to places like Korea, doesn’t mean I’m trying to /be/ korean. That’s ridiculous. I’m studying korean now, but when I’m somewhat fluent in that; I’ll try learning a new language. I love language and want to learn as many as I possible can. I’ve never been racist either and I think it’s been almost two years since I truly sat down to write fan fiction and it was a fic; mocking other fan fics. Oh I’ll stay on hiatus, but honey unfollow me will you 😘

anonymous asked:

Hey, I know this isn't a direct musical question, but I could use some advice. I feel super anxious and depressed a majority of the time. I was just hospitalized earlier this month for suicidal ideation and I'm onto my 4th or 5th therapist. I've literally been driving myself crazy recently telling myself that stuff in the past hasn't happened too even though it has. I'm 15 and a musician myself and it's become less enjoyable for me. How do I gain my spark back? Please help...

Hello, my love. I’m so so sorry to hear that you’re in this dark a place, but I want to start by saying how proud I am of you for still choosing to fight. Honestly, that’s the first step in everything.
You don’t have to deny anything about the past. No matter how terrible- or not terrible- it was real, and your emotions conerning the past are very valid. Don’t deny yourself your emotions.
The tricky thing about emotions is that they’re like a wave: we have to learn to ride them, else we drown in them. But, like all waves, they will eventually pass. Now, I’m not necessarily talking about your depression as a whole, rather, your current emotional state at this very moment. No emotion is permanent, and all we can do is deal with what is immediately in front of us, not behind us, and not forward in the future.
Now, I can’t tell you how to recover. But I can tell you what has helped me, and what lessons I have personally learned.

First- When self love is not possible, self care comes first. You have to default to taking care of your body, even if you hate your mind. I lost a lot of weight when my depression hit rock bottom, and I was actually underweight for my size. Eventually, having a tumor is what made me differentiate between me as a consciousness, and my body (sounds strange, I know.) But I started forcing myself to eat, even when I hated myself the most. Your body is only trying to keep you going, even when your mind wants to stop. Your body is your ally. It deserves to be treated like an ally, even when you hate your mind and thoughts. Fuck, I’m trying really hard to force myself to eat as I write this.

Second- There is no finish line. Bear with me here. Every day is an act of re-dedicating yourself… to yourself. Over. And over. And over. Every day. And it’s exhausting at first. I will not lie to you. But it is worth it. I’m going to challenge you to this: Every day, find one little thing that lessens the pain. However little or however temporary. Find something for you. Every damn day. What “sparks you” will change. Emptiness is the first step in finding what fills you. I don’t love music like I used to, and I’m trying, same as you. Some days my spark is gone again and I start to panic, thinking “I can’t go back to that dark place I can’t go back to that dark place,” but this is when that wave comes in. Ride it. Don’t fight the panic- grant yourself permission to feel it. The only way out is in. I found that what helps me most is poetry. Reading it, writing it, indulging in it at my lowest allows me to navigate that wave. There have been sleepless nights where I was fighting and fighting and fighting myself and poetry kept me company till I could pass the night. This is how I sometimes like to rededicate the day to myself, or maybe its just five extra minutes to enjoy my morning coffee. I still have major self-worth issues, but these “acts of rededicating myself to myself,” allow me to recenter and remember that i am the center of my own little world. I’m all i really have, and I’m all I really need. This mentality gave way to gratitude. I imagine you have something that will act similarly for you, even if you haven’t found it yet. Something that acts as an alternative and temporary solace that you can do, just for you. Music doesn’t have to be the only spark or outlet, allow yourself to fall into something that maybe helps even an eensy bit more for now. Music will always be waiting for you.


When I first stopped cutting, it wasn’t because I wanted to. But it was because I felt like I had something to prove (not a healthy mindset, but hey, a starting point). I’m about 10 months self harm clean now and you know what? It’s hard. You know what? Sometimes I lie awake and want to cut myself again. Not because anything is wrong, but because it becomes a habitual and addictive action that I don’t know how to let go of yet. I want it so bad some days, some days I WANT to relapse into self harm, some days I don’t know why i bother fighting it. But I ride that emotional wave until it passes. It’s worth it to not feel that familiar shame the next morning.

I also had to physically remove myself from the environment I was in. I’m not fucking kidding. I dropped out of college the day before classes started my junior year, lived with new people, got a new job, and eventually started completely over at a new school. I wholeheartedly believe that, had I stayed, I might have acted on my suicidal thoughts and emotions. I was close enough as it was. You might not be able to manage that kind of change, but this might be an indication that some major change does need to take place.

I feel like this post, while excessive in length, doesn’t do justice to just how much I wish I could tell you. And it VASTLY oversimplifies the process of recovery, because the honest truth is that recovery doesn’t stop. One day you’ll feel the sunshine and want to live again, but it’s an ongoing process. It’s so hard, my love, I know, and I’m so sorry. Ultimately, take medication if you need it. There is no shame in medication, and don’t ever let anybody tell you otherwise. Listen to your therapist. “Eat better and do yoga” or whatever are not the end-all-be-all answers, but they’re suggesting these kinds of approaches as a means of helping you find coping methods. They know that these methods are not cures. But they can help at least a teeny bit if you let them. And please come back to me for help if you ever need. You’re not alone. I promise.


TL;DR:
When self love isn’t possible, default to self care.
Rededicate yourself to your own self every single day.
There is nothing shameful about medication.
Cheesy and corny as it sounds, it’s true: you’re not alone

I want to apologize to all the women I have called beautiful before I’ve called them intelligent or brave. I am sorry I made it sound as though something as simple as what you’re born with is all you have to be proud of when you have broken mountains with your wit. From now on I will say things like you are resilient, or you are extraordinary not because I don’t think you’re beautiful, but because I need you to know you are more than that.
—  Rupi Kaur
Soothing a Venus
  • Venus in Aries: Wrap your hands around their head, 'relax darling'
  • Venus in Taurus: Let them feel your whole body in embrace
  • Venus in Gemini: 'Take a deep breath. Now tell me everything you want to say'
  • Venus in Cancer: 'Have you eaten properly?'
  • Venus in Leo: 'I am so proud of you'
  • Venus in Virgo: Take their hands into yours and gently hold them to ease the tremors
  • Venus in Libra: 'I want your opinion though. Your's is equally valid'
  • Venus in Scorpio: Hold them close in the darkness until they can feel the soothing soul
  • Venus in Sagittarius: Go for a walk towards the sun, let them speak as they move their legs
  • Venus in Capricorn: 'You have nothing to prove to me, you have already proven your brilliance'
  • Venus in Aquarius: 'Bring your feet back to the ground next to mine, now tell me what's going on inside there'
  • Venus in Pisces: Hold them on your chest so they can hear your heartbeat, it sounds like a shell from the ocean

Me on my way to Korea to give Taehyung the oscar that he deserves for his tremendous acting performance as Hwarang’s sunshine, Hansung

2

JAAAAAACCCKKKKKKK~~~!!

Congratulations for hitting another milestone!

THIRTEEN. MILLION. SUBSCRIBERS.

You did it!!

We did it!!

I can’t express how proud i actually feel right now. I am so happy for you. Thank you Jack! Thank you for being there for all of us every.single.day. I am sure that each and every one of us here feel so grateful that at one point of our lives, we decided to click on that “SUBSCRIBE” button on your channel.

Keep up the great job you’re doing all these time Sean! 

WE LOVE YOU!

xoxo


I tried to make a video actually but i ended up sounding super weird and awkward HAHA. So i made that banner instead and pasted it on my wall. I hope that’s okay. Oh! And gif is from justchasingghosts ‘s post.

Details.

What are details–
My eyes hurt. 

Not only did everything take forever ( no exceptions this time around sadly) , but maaan the line art definitely killed me.

I’m also in emotional shambles too so there’s that!
So uh anyone wanna send me some pick me ups??? That’d be appreciated. 

But yes, otherwise, have a very pretty Papyrus based on this dress .
I decided to turn it into a wedding dress because I really like lace and veils uwu 

2

BRING IT ON!

Glitchtale by Camila Cuevas

Speedpaint will be available tomorrow because it’s like 2 am here and I’m bone tired. And this pic is screenshotted. I’ll minimize the original picture tomorrow

https://youtu.be/3eVJ0-PD_SI Edit:HOLY CHRISTMAS, I WAS NEVER THIS HAPPY AT 8 AM :OOOOOOOO STAYING UP UNTIL 2 AM WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT!!!


 I just came up with a dialog frisk could say to betty, because of lols XD 

Frisk: You know, I propably shouldn’t say any of this…it’d make me a real hypocrit. I did kill my friends in another timeline just out of curiosity. No one other than sans and asriel knows about my dark past. And I even messed up my friendship with sans by bringing the reset up. I’m not proud of myself. I wish I had done better and just shut up about it. The irony here is though, that after my mistakes, a friend got a new chance for a new life and is no longer an empty shell. So in a way, making a mistake made us all happy again. pretty ironic, isn’t it? Even a little funny… hehe…but you know what is even funnier? I’m not trying to find a way to reset anymore…‘cause if I did, that means killing you won’t do anything, if you came back. I trusted you…no, WE trusted you! You made one of the kindest monsters go to prison, manipulated a traumatized mother to kill innocent people, you slaughtered children in a school and you murdered two of my friends…sans wanted the future…alphys a new start…I am NOT letting this continue any further… A friend once told me, that on beautiful weather, while the birds are singing and flowers are blooming… kids like me should be burning in hell… you though…hehe…hehehe YOUR HELL HAS JUST BEGUN!

edit: I just realized that the swords design is wrong…*dying inside*

2

Holy shit. I was feeling really bad today because I haven’t been consistent with my workouts for the past two weeks but I also just realized that I should still be proud because of how far I’ve come considering I’ve lost 80 pounds in less than a year. I started in size 18 pants in June and am currently in a size 6. I need to keep telling myself that it’s all about progress and not perfection. Even though I’m stuck at the same weight and I have been for about two weeks, I am still worlds away from where I started in 2016 and I’m feeling the best that I’ve ever felt in my life. Time to get serious and get back on it because running my mouth won’t make shit happen.

2

Friendship grows in special ways, but when a man and a beast bond, they can be inseparable. Even for life.

I finished The Last Guardian a while ago, as well as watched Jacks play through, and man! What a BEAUTIFUL game it has been! And in a recent poll I wanted to stream, and @therealjacksepticeye​ himself told me to do: “Whatever your heart leans more towards :)”

My heart was leaning toward Trico! And to follow my personal goal to draw you, Jack, in every long play though / games I personally like that you’ve played!

3

Lapidot Tuesday prompt 02/21/2017: Veggie Head

But what if Veggie Heads?
Peridot and Lapis learned that one can grow new sentient fruits from a sentient fruit’s seeds and that every pumpkin has hundreds of that. And so their initial intention to make a plantation of living vegetables was finally fulfilled!

Yes, I am saying that original Veggie Head is no longer with them. Such is the cycle of life. And no, they didn’t purposely kill pumpkins to get the seeds! Like the watermelon Stevens, pupkins probably don’t last long.

extra:

A PSA for Spoonies with a mental ilness

If you are not only in physical pain, but emotional pain, and oh get out of bed most days and do what you need to, you should be so proud of yourself.

If anyone calls you lazy, a burden, stupid, just remember that they don’t and likely won’t ever understand what you’re going though at all. Just remember that you are loved regardless of what that individual thinks.

If you have anxiety or a panic disorder or social anxiety and you still make your own doctors appointments I am so proud of you, I know this is hard but you’re doing so well.

And in these trying and emotional times just remember that we stand together, United, and we will not back down. We will support one another and pull each other through. You are beautiful and you are valid and you are so very strong.

Keep going, you’ve got this.

No matter what the outcome of MAMA will be, I am proud of Infinite, VIXX, BAP, 2pm, Sistar, Monsta X, WJSN, AKMU, Winner, Lee Hi, KNK, Astro, Gugudan, Block B, Oh My Girl, Lovelyz, Wonder Girls, Luna, Hyosung, HyunA and Day6. Some are nominated some aren’t but they did great this year and gave us great content, and I love them for that and I’ll keep supporting them even though the “competition” is big

i want to apologize to all woman
i have called pretty
before i’ve called them intelligent or brave
i am sorry i made it sound as though
something as simple as what you’re born with
is the most you have to be proud of when your
spirit has crushed mountains
from now on i will say things like
you are resilient or you are extraordinary
not because i don’t think you’re pretty
but because you are so much more than that
—  Rupi Kaur, milk and honey