i am probably the most ill fitted person for making this

5 Reason’s Why Supernatural is the Gayest Show on Television (That’s Still Stuck in the Closet)

To start with, I’m not delusional.  I’m fully aware that the studio and execs have settled into a comfortable pattern with Supernatural, and especially considering it’s heavily mixed demographic (interestingly, it was ranked a favorite among republicans and democrats in 2016) they’re unlikely to rock the ship with a canonically queer relationship between two of it’s main characters.  

However, it’s important to understand exactly how much queerness is bubbling beneath the thick surface layer of “no homo:”  from the orgies of male-on-male eyesex to the inspiration for most of its main characters, Supernatural is queer to its very core. 

Here are five (blaring but stubbornly unacknowledged) reasons why:

1.  Dean’s gratuitously bisexual inspiration. 

Whenever someone claims a queer interpretation of Dean is baseless, I’m always happy to direct them straight to his flamingly bisexual source:  Dean Moriarty, his namesake and direct inspiration, a la the novel On the Road.  

Admittedly, I read On the Road and didn’t particularly enjoy it, as I found it to be a somewhat masturbatory reassertion of masculinity for its narrator, Sal Paradise.  Sal idolizes and fixates the charismatic Dean and his promiscuous lifestyle, openly having sex with and impregnating multiple women, and is all around a heterosexual power figure…right up until the point at which Dean propositions a male prostitute.  

Though he’s never shown doing anything gratuitous with male characters (since the book was published in the 1960s, it wouldn’t have been legal to) it’s clear that Dean is very much bisexual, not ashamed of it, and in terms of personality, very similar to Dean.  There are a few key differences (Dean Moriarty, for example, legitimately gives zero fucks about anything, whereas Dean Winchester is secretly a little ball of anxiety with the weight of the world on his shoulders) but it’s clear where Eric Kripke got his inspiration from.

Moreover, Dean Moriarty was in turn based off of the real life bisexual counterculturist Neal Cassady, who among other things had a twenty-year sexual relationship with a male poet.  Here, he is pictured in a Denver mugshot: 

So next time someone tells you the homoerotic subtext of Supernatural exists only in the imagination of rabid fangirls, remember that Dean is the direct descendant of two ragingly bisexual icons.

2.  Castiel (or at least his wardrobe) was also based off of a bisexual character.

For a show so aggressively devoted to a “no homo” interpretation, it has a real propensity to drawing inspiration from queer characters:  everyone’s favorite baby in a trench coat, for example, was modeled after the demon-busting John Constantine from the Hellblazer comics.  Yup, another bisexual.   

Though in true assbutt fashion, his love of men is censored in movie and TV adaptions, Constantine unabashedly swings both ways in paper form – a.k.a. where Kripke found inspiration for Castiel’s look.  Here, we see him platonically receiving a man-hug from one of his bros:

So I’m not saying the fact that two out of three main characters are modeled after canonically queer figures could have anything to do with Supernatural’s gratuitous queer subtext, but y’know.  It might.

3.  Cas himself is sexually complex (and literally cannot be straight.) 

Dean has made reference to the fact that he “doesn’t swing that way” (ironically, both of which times he was literally in the midst of blatantly flirting with men.)  

Cas, however, has no such reservations:  he’s never indicated, vocally or otherwise, a preference towards either gender, so much as outright declaring that he doesn’t give a damn.  

He reacts to male and female flirtation much the same way:  just try and tell me his suspicious glower and Mick wasn’t similar to Mandy the waitress (and try and tell me they both weren’t acting like they’d like to eat him for dinner.)

Moreover, the only time we’ve seen him ever achieve some kind of intimacy with female characters is when they’re literally throwing themselves at him.  Hey, he’s an aesthetically pleasing fellow – or rather, an aesthetically pleasing something.  

Which brings me to my next point that he isn’t really a fellow at all:  Cas not only gives zero fucks about sexual orientation, he also gives zero fucks about gender.  Sure, he’ll spend seven years in the same ill-fitting trench coat, but he’ll also rock a petticoat like nobody’s business.

I’ve discovered that the writer for “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets,” Steve Yockey, is a gay man, which honestly makes it all the more perfect:  not only does it establish the Orlando-esque flexibility (or nonexistence) of Cas’s gender, but it eliminates the possibility of his straightness.  

And I want Destiel to be canon as much as anybody, but am I opposed to Cas being a genderfluid lesbian?  No.  No, I am not.    

4.  Dean can textually be interpreted as bisexual (and probably should be.)

For anyone who questions whether Dean not being straight as an arrow, I’m happy to point out some very canon things that happened on the show:

(Examples courtesy of @some-people-call-it-tragic!)

And yes, when feeling threatened, he’s professed not to swing that way.  But you know how many queer people I know who have at one point felt compelled to lie about our sexual orientation?  Every single one.  And I live in the bluest of blue states – Dean was raised in Bible Belt America and spends most of his time in the Southwest.  Not to mention the fact that he was raised during the heat of the AIDS academic.

In other words, he has every logical reason to be wary at the prospect of coming out of the closet, or even acknowledging same sex attraction at all.

Moreover it’s been canonically established that Dean has a habit of lying about himself to protect his image of masculinity:  according to Dean, he doesn’t do shorts, chick flicks, cucumber water, skinny jeans and sunglasses, and Taylor Swift music.  You know how many of those things he loves?  All of them

Finally, not every member of the cast or crew might agree (though I know for a fact that some of them do) but their interpretations do not effect textuality.  And Dean can textually be interpreted as bisexual.  

5.  Dean and Cas make a better couple than any of their love interests.

I’m going to state something I feel is obvious:  Cas and Dean have more buildup, tension, chemistry, emotional connection, and romantic history than literally any of their other interests.  

Take Lisa, for example:  she’s Dean’s longest lasting introduced as female partner, and she’s introduced as the “bendiest weekend of his life.”  

Furthermore, I’d argue that sexual attraction notwithstanding, Dean was never romantically in love with Lisa.  To him, she epitomizes his desire for a mother figure, a home, and his lost childhood, as is best demonstrated in his fantasy from “Dream a Little Dream of Me:”  Lisa isn’t a seductive or romantic figure here – she’s a maternal one. 

Though since Dean has never had a long lasting relationship (or, to my belief, been completely in love with a girl) it’s easy to see how he’d misinterpret these feelings as romantic love. 

Then we have Cas, who’s introduced by pulling Dean from the depths of hell, who makes most one-on-one scenes with Dean look like a soft core porno, and who recently (canonically!) declared his love for Dean.  

I don’t dislike Lisa, but it’s easy to see which of the two relationships is more three-dimensional, more original, and more worthy of screentime.


HEYYY…so here’s some stuff!

Those of you who’ve never seen my 2011 SVA thesis film “Balancing Act”, go check that out. Super-long-story-short, it’s my “magnum opus” IP that I really wanna do something with someday. Alternatively, it’s that “I made this in Elementary School and created a bunch of characters based on me and my friends and wanted to make my own animu idea that usually goes nowhere and has been in development for 20+ years while I work on other/newer/better ideas” IP. Y’know, one of those. You probably see ‘em on DeviantArt and Tumblr all the fucking time; hence why I don’t really post stuff about it online much these days. That said, posting this art here isn’t a confirmation that something’s happening with it. I’d just stocked up SO many doodles and sketches I felt like putting them out there eventually. Some of these date back as far as 2012 and this isn’t even half of them since I have plenty from various sketchbooks I’ve never scanned.

“What the fuck is this shit, Kirb!?” WELL KIDS, it’s the adventures of self-insert-I-wish-I-was-a-superhero-character and his friends as they go through their trials and tribulations of forming a makeshift superhero team and fight bad guys and learn valuable life lessons about being different, self-acceptance, dealing with deep personal issues and eating healthy or some bullshit. It’s gone through countless re-iterations as I’ve grown and learned and expanded my life views. I want it to be a story that’s really deeply impactful and meaningful, but it’s not something I’m ready to do yet. I need to get better at all aspects of film-making and storytelling. There’s a lot of basic things about “what am I saying?” regarding the story that haven’t been fully fleshed out. Might be years before I ever get to that point; or maybe I never will. Who knows. But once in a while, I’ll draw these four kids and experiment around with shit.

“Frost” (the skinny fuck who looks like ani-’me’) has various blue and white hoodies, is generally awkward (I made him way too “””cool””” in the thesis film; I was emulating Yusuke Urameshi’s sarcastic attitude) and a massive fuck-up (JUST LIKE ACTUAL-ME, HEYYY) and I’ve spent the last year on the story side of things researching a lot about various mental illnesses and how to apply them to him in ways that benefit his development as part of a team he fits into (or not).

“Ilaqua” was previously the character based on (and who looked like) Mike Luckas, that I decided…now I think well over 3 years ago, to change to a girl. I debated back and forth which character to switch (because I wanted two guys and two girls on the main cast) and thought about changing the Earth-elemental guy, but decided to gamble on tossing her in with the many, many Water-elemental girls. (a.k.a. I felt it was easier to differentiate Girl!Mike from the likes of Katara and Korra than seeing Girl!Nick get more-easily compared to Toph.) Mike helped me re-design her (which was also tricky to make sure she wasn’t too similar to Grace Liu’s Enna) and “Mikaela” has become one of my favorite characters to draw.

“Nico” (now re-named in tribute to TwistedGrimTV) is mostly the same. Honestly, getting a hat shape with him that I don’t despise has been my biggest difficulty with him. I also wanna try giving him way more exaggerated anatomy (something like Sajad Gharibi); a body he’d be picked on for having even though he’s not violent at all by nature (he’s actually meant to be more paranoiac and anxious), nor is he “the big dumb one”.

“Kathy” is also mostly the same, but there’s been some minor things I keep trying to fix with her design that I can’t quite get right. I wanted to go more gothic with her choice of fashion, which lent itself to her mysterious demeanor. My biggest aggravation is finding a hair-shape that isn’t a pain in my asshole. It’s evolved a lot from the Rumiko Takahashi-style cut, but I’m still not happy with any particular shape yet.

I also had some help from Mike Luckas and Xander Mobus on trying to design some practical, yet “we have no money or resources to get really efficient ones” superhero costumes. Most of their superhero nicknames (invented by Frost, which the new TMNT beat me to the punch on with Michelangelo’s nicknames for the bad guys, whoops.) are still WIP. Currently I like “Cardice” for Frost and “Landlord” for Mantel. Previously Ilaqua was “Firefighter” and Kathy was “Brightside” but those both may change; they might all change. Hell, ALL of this might change in 15-20-30 years from now if this ever gets made.

On that note, I GREATLY appreciate all the interest in it! I’ve had many folks from time to time ask if I ever plan on doing something more with this concept. It is my every intention to someday; in fact I THINK about it every day. Maybe I’ll do it as a movie, maybe it’ll still be a series like I originally thought, or maybe somehow it’ll be a game or something. Maybe it’ll be none of those things. Maybe it’ll be a hologram projected directly into your brain stem. Who the fuck knows. Here’s a bunch of drawings about it. Enjoy. Or not.


Okay, so someone linked this article to me tonight, and I’m just. So thoroughly disgusted currently. I don’t know who this guy is, the article says “Tituss” from  Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

Here’s the thing. I keep peafowl. Have for years. At this point, I can read peacock body language better than I read most human body language. And that bird? That bird is very uncomfortable. The harness looks ill fitting, and you can see clearly in the first photo that he is ducking down to try to back out of the harness to escape. In the second photo you can see by the wide set of his legs, the bend of his ankles, and the slightly open wings that he is trying to lie down and is being held up by the harness (which, again, looks ill fitting and uncomfortable). In the third photo, he is again trying to lie down and is only marginally more successful (and still, to me, looks uncomfortable/unhappy by the way he is holding his legs and not actually lying down).

The other thing is that putting a peacock on a leash in a harness is incredibly dangerous and irresponsible. As someone who literally has a pet pea in the house who is probably the tamest pea out there, I can with 100% certainty tell you that I would never, ever put her into a harness or on a leash. I would never endanger her in that manner.

Because peafowl have incredibly powerful legs and wings, and thin, hollow bones. One good flush (the motion of jumping into the air to take flight) while trapped on a leash could result in bruising and even broken bones that would, if nothing else, cost thousands of dollars to repair, if they even can be (repairing bird bones is amazingly difficult and not generally very successful). Peafowl flush with enough power to break their own necks if they flush in an enclosed area- I should know, I lost a girl a few years ago to that very thing during a bad thunder storm, when she spooked right up into the ceiling of her coop.

As if that’s not enough, birds - wild birds, game fowl like peacocks - are 100% capable of stressing out so hard that they go into shock and die. They can literally get so upset it kills them, and being restrained (for example, being walked on a leash in a harness down a city street where there’s a lot of things that ping as DANGER to peafowl) is a definite stressor.

I don’t watch this show. I don’t know this person. I don’t have any more information than what I can very clearly see in these photos about what is going on, but it makes me ill to see. This man clearly has no repertoire with this bird- it wants out and away, and should NOT have been made to do this.

And I want to be clear- I am not against folks owning peafowl as pets. I’m against people putting peafowl through situations in which they are unhappy and uncomfortable.

This lady? This lady is doing it right- peacock perched on her arm, and the bird is clearly relaxed and comfortable riding around with her and sitting near her. I cannot tell if he’s wearing a harness (if he is, it fits well and comfortably and the line attaches under the bird’s breastbone instead of on their back) or if she has leg tethers (seems more likely) like a falconer. Either way, this is a safer, happier bird.

yr fave is problematic

Up Front Disclaimer: I actually think the language of “privilege” is uniquely ill-suited to articulating cis women’s relationship to being CAFAB, and some day I’d love to sit down with cis women and try and articulate exactly how the particular differences between cis women’s and trans women’s experiences function and what that means for our ability to function as a coalitional political unit, but right now…

Where mainstream (and even mainstream “radical” or “woke”) feminism deigns to engage with the lives and experiences of trans women at all, they are so convinced that transmisogyny is the purview of TERFs or some comically-off-base-and-clearly-self-interested caricature of “White Feminism” (like yr radical queer!! space isn’t white as hell? come on) that nobody is looking at their own shit and asking if maybe yeah, they’ve been part of the problem.

Like white people who talk about hating other white people, this performative anger/disdain/rejection is a distancing strategy, a way of avoiding the reality of transmisogyny in their own spaces and communities by offloading that burden onto a safe (frequently entirely imaginary, in fact!) target.

True story: your Feminist Fave has probably participated in, or happily rubbed elbows with others who have participated in, transmisogyny to their own benefit. Your friends have almost certainly done so. The loose collective of Canon Good Feminists who aren’t overtly racist, etc. is rife with cis women more than happy to mock trans women and equivocate or just ignore it when called out. With entertainers it’s basically a sure deal (I think Kate McKinnon is cute, too, ya’ll! Doesn’t change that she’s been doing transmisogynist shit forever without a second thought!) but even your honest-to-god icons are guilty here, too: every riot grrl band who wouldn’t cancel their show at MichFest, every theorist who acts like “people with penises” is a coherent social class, every trans dude who thinks tr-nny is his word, too…

The fact that you, as a person at least somewhat invested in feminist spaces, people, and theory, don’t have to keep track of this shit, is cis privilege. But unlike the more insidious parts of cis privilege, the parts more deeply embedded in our dumpster fire of a society, this is actually something you can disown. You can educate yourself on what your feminist role models and icons have said about trans women–all it takes is googling “*name* transphobia* every once in a while. If shit has been said, it’s pretty likely that some trans woman out there has done the emotional and intellectual labor of writing a summary post on their bullshit. It’ll be good for your praxis too–I think I’m a pretty decent feminist and 80%-ish of my personal feminist canon is trans women theorists and activists, TBH.

But I don’t realistically expect most cis people (or men, for that matter) to do this work because frankly, trans women don’t have the social capital to make our withdrawing support a meaningful action–and beyond that, we are oppressed under misogyny and can’t afford to not challenge it, even if the people we’re working alongside are actively sabotaging us. Nonetheless, it is possible (and not even that hard, in my opinion, but I have pretty well-worn pathways in my brain for sorting people according how sketchy they are wrt transmisogyny so IDK) even if yall don’t do it.

If I’m being honest, I am low-key a trans lesbian separatist, and this is why. I don’t trust cis folk or men to have my back because they’ve seen fit to stick a knife in it one (or two or five or a hundred) too many times, only to have ostensible allies to trans women make excuses for them or look the other way or hand them another fucking knife.

The question here cannot be "is my community and my feminism transmisogynist?” because I assure you, they are, and those questions are literally the least you can do. We need you to start asking “how are my community and my feminism transmisogynist, and what can I do about that?”. If you don’t, then no matter how well-intentioned you are, we’re gonna keep spinning our wheels, stuck in the same ditch we’ve been in for the last 70 years. Trans women are gonna keep dying, and nobody’s gonna do anything about it except other trans women, who are also being killed by the cisheteropatriarchal medical-/prison-industrial-complex that was, in a real sense, designed to do just that.

Again, not all of you will follow through here. This won’t be the first or last time I’m disappointed by folks who aren’t trans women. But I hope I’ve given you something to think about, that even if you still fuck up sometimes–which we all do–you’ve course-corrected at least a little. Trans women’s lives depend on it.

Written in reference to this tweet thread from Raquel Willis.

Run! // Jung Hoseok


the prompt: can I have the ‘were best friends and I stole a dragon egg’ au with j-hope? Thanks if you do write it! based on this prompt: “you’ve been my best friend for years, and I can tell you anything, right? good, because I sort of stole a dragon egg.”

words: 1544

category: hogwarts!au + friendship scenario

author note: so i rlly wanted to start a hogwarts series based on namjoon’s sorting (since i disagreed with most of it and it’ll be a challenge) so i thought why not start with hobi? this request seemed to fit perfectly so i took it. also, this is a friendship scenario, not a relationship scenario. it’s my first time writing one but i liked how it turned out. hope you do too.

I’ll probably make a pt 2 eventually (there’s a reason I only made them fifth years) also loOk at the gif wow.

- destinee

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

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When You’re Sick (Wonho, Minhyuk, Hyungwon)

Originally posted by lostinmonstax

Wonho - “Yeah, don’t worry about me.” You patted Wonho’s arm, reassuring him with a grin. The two of you had been walking down the snowy streets of Hongdae, window shopping the newly brought Christmas goods and outfits for the season. Wonho offered to give you his gloves which you politely declined. He shouldn’t have to know that you caught a small cold. You were trying to hide your coughs when the cars were noisily driving by, added on by the conversations of Korean people passing by. He looked over at you, questioning your condition but knew he would lose the fight if he continue to push with it. “Those trees are so pretty. I love the lights that…” You felt the world disappear into darkness as you felt your body fall to the ground. However, you didn’t feel the freezing, bitter, and frosty street beneath you. It was if a delicate cushion was what you fell on. At that point, your mind wandered into nothing as you forgot what happened. Meanwhile, Wonho caught your body in time, secretly thanking himself for working out in order to hold you in his built arms. He searched around, looking for the most efficient route home as he scooped up your body, where his arms were underneath your shoulders and legs. Within a short amount of time, Wonho took a subway and a short journey to his apartment. He set you down on his bed, remembering to tuck you into the blankets and applying a cold washcloth onto your forehead. “Why didn’t they tell me they were sick… Aish, always making me do favors.” He shook his head and continue to change out the cloth along with warming your hands that should have been encased in his gloves. “You should wake up now, Jagi…” Hoseok whispered into your ear. With enough effort, you pulled out of your unconscious state and looked around. “Am I home?” You touched the cloth and turned your head to Wonho, who sat next to the bed with an “are-you-serious” face. “Well, at least you can’t get out of bed for a while. Hi, I’m Wonho. Your nurse for the time being.” He chuckled and kissed your temple before taking your hand in his.

Originally posted by with-ikonics

Minhyuk - “Does it seem like I care, Jagi? You stay there and I’ll be on my way. Apparently, our date is at your house.” Minhyuk won this argument. You pushed the “end call” button before setting it on your nightstand, sighing that he was coming while you were in this state. You sat in bed, shivering underneath the cozy blankets with a kitten plushie he had given you for comfort. Its scent contained Minhyuk’s, strong but welcome. Just like his personality. “Jagi? Are you okay?” He tapped on the door before entering your room with a backpack he always carried around. “I’m okay.” You replied, coughing into your arm before leaning against the wall, closing your eyes. “I’m sorry that you’re sick, but at least I can spend more time with you. Although you’re ill, it doesn’t mean I can’t take care of you, so I brought some things that might help you take your mind of it.” Minhyuk smiled and patted your head before kissing your temple. Digging around his backpack, he brought out medicine, his laptop, earphones, and bath salts for when you want to relax in the hot water. “I won’t join if you don’t want me to,” Minhyuk joked as he shook the container. Crystallized salts that had a lavender color peaked your interest, but made you feel lazy to get out of bed. “I guess you’ll have to carry me there if I want to be clean, but yeah, no need to join me.” “If that is what you want.” The boy nodded and lifted the covers for him to fit onto your bed. It wasn’t exactly big per se, but it was enough to cuddle and sleep together. “Here, you can relax by listening to music and I’ll get some games ready for us to play. Soon, I’ll run down to the convenience store and buy some ice cream. We can play games with that, too. Sounds good?” You nodded as he gave you the earphones and kissed your cheek. “You’re so adorable when you’re sick. I’ll go crazy.” He clutched his heart and made a pained expression, which you laughed at. It felt lovely to hug him and feel better when you were sick. If only this could be forever…

Originally posted by monxbebe

Hyungwon - “I’m going to visit them today. Monbebes, are you expecting it too? Do you feel my heart racing? I know. I probably shouldn’t be dramatic but it’s fun! Anyway, let’s go into their room…” Hyungwon spoke to the camera, looking away to find you on the couch with tissues stuck up your nose, a computer on your lap, and a washcloth on your head. “Darn, I was going to do that, too. Oh well. Say hi to Monbebes, Jagi.” He turned the camera to you which you felt you looked disgusting, but instead greeted them in a drained voice, unmotivated to lift an arm. “Do you see who I have to live with?” Hyungwon whispered into the camera before– “Hey.” You retorted. “I happen to be sick and I thought you were bringing me some ddeokbokki.” He watched you complain, pouting while he filmed your reactions. Hyungwon laughed and covered his mouth as he turned the camera back to his face, walking over to sit beside you. “Don’t worry, I have it right here.” “What?! Yay!” You clapped your hand and set the laptop on the table, grabbing the bag. But before you could, he pulled it away while you swiped at the air. “Kiss first.” “You’re going to get sick, Hyungwon-ah.” “Kiss. First.” He tilted his head down and peered at you. Kissing his cheek, Hyungwon granted you the plastic bag filled with savory treats. He set the camera on the table, later clapping his hands saying, “This looks good! I’m getting hungry just watching you eat, so I will eat now.” He smiled and dug into the ddeokbokki, relishing the sweet and spicy taste of the rice cakes. The phone rang in the distance, the two of you looking over to the source. “Sorry, Monbebes, Jagi will go get it. Jagi?” He nudged your arm which you responded with the same action. “What are you talking about? You’re healthy and can go get it yourself.” “Who is the one that always buys you food? You get it, Jagi. Love you.” You sighed and he watched you get up, grinning in content as you answered it.

Admin Mochi

Dear Steroliners

I have been lurking the steroline tag and your beautiful gifs/metas/fan fictions for awhile now. I don’t have my own tumblr/twitter presence, and I’ve never felt the need to weigh in until now, other than some random asks I’ve thrown at kmze. But it must be said, or it will continue to haunt me: this finale was completely bogus and should be thrown in the dumpster. I felt like maybe writing this out will help me get over the tragic and senseless end of those two adorable puppies, Stefan and Caroline. So here it goes.

There was so much NOPE in this finale it’s hard to know where to start, but I’m going to focus on the most obvious: Stefan’s death.

I don’t object to the notion that a Salvatore brother had to die. They’ve evaded death for far too long, and left way too many bodies in their wake. I don’t think any of us expected both the Salvatore brothers to make it out of this show alive. Would I have preferred it to be Damon that died, or at least to have the brothers both go out in a blaze of glory? Fuck yes. But I could have handled Stefan dying, and Damon living, had it been handled in a way that made even a shred of sense. It was not.

A sacrificial death, when done right, can be a very fitting way for a show to go out. See: Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s finale. 15 year old me shipped Buffy and Spike (I know, I know, quite a toxic relationship, but moving on). So I was bummed as heck when Spike died in the finale. But the way he went out was just so damn fitting I could not be that mad. He sacrificed himself to save Buffy, to save the Slayer-ettes and the rest of the Scoobies, and literally the entire world. It was necessary and rooted in the plot and was therefore heroic and did a heck of a lot to redeem him of his terrible deeds. It fit the narrative, it fit the character’s arc, and it was satisfying, which took the edge off the tragedy.

Now, let’s compare that to Stefan’s death shall we? Was his death necessary to save the world? Nope. It was not even necessary to save Mystic Falls, since Bonnie had found a way to control the hellfire and send it to hell, or at least divert it. It was arguably necessary to kill Katherine and destroy Hell, but like, there’s nothing particularly noble about destroying Hell? There were tons of bad people in Hell, people that should arguably have stayed in Hell and not been given a “get out of Hell free” card. There did seem to be some not terrible people stuck in Hell (Vicky was irritating but not evil) but maybe since Cade was dead this whole policy of throwing everyone who ever screwed up once in their lives, into eternal torment, no longer applied? Katherine is a cut-throat queen but I don’t see her being this petty. Unclear, but either way this Hell mythology was just too murky for a set-up wherein destroying Hell equals redemption. So far, I fail to see how this action redeemed Stefan’s tattered soul and granted him his peace.

Okay so let’s assume I’ve missed something. (I very well could have. I only watched the finale once and I doubt I’ll ever be able to bring myself to watch it again.) Let’s assume for the sake of argument that in fact the whole “stabbing Katherine with the dagger at the very moment she is immolated thus ensuring she dies in Hell and Hell is destroyed” was a very necessary and heroic act in the grand scheme of things. So at least one of the Salva-bros had to die. The choice of who gets the axe should be based in the narrative, yes? Maybe the brother who showed up in Mystic Falls in season 1, all gleeful about tormenting his brother and making the residents of Mystic Falls suffer, would be a good choice for the one who ultimately saves the town? Whose ongoing arc has been about becoming a better, less-selfish man, one capable of putting his brother before his own needs? Who, two episodes before, had proven that he was ready to be that hero, and had died in a similar sacrifice, but had miraculously come back from it with no explanation? Maybe the writers had a plan? HAHA BITCH YOU THOUGHT.

Instead, Stefan dies because “Damon is the better man.” Hahahahahah lol lol lol brb LAUGHING FOREVER. I don’t need to list the many actions/character traits that Damon has displayed over the years, that make it emphatically clear that he is not the better man. At best he is the equally-as-terrible man. Stefan killed Enzo, yes, which was painful, mainly because of its effect on Bonnie (Enzo was also a murderous trashbag, let us never forget). But Damon killed Tyler, tried to kill Bonnie, and abducted a couple of 4 year olds and tried to sell them to the Devil in return for his own soul, and that was just in season 8. I can’t even remember all the times he killed Alaric and Jeremy, I have literally lost count. Many of you have already covered Damon’s many crimes in your well-reasoned and thoughtful metas and commentaries. They do not need repeating. Damon is a selfish, impulsive, weak-willed, predatory psycho murderer. We have the receipts in the form of seasons 1-8 of this show. I say this as someone who is actually a big Damon fan (I like his snark) and was all about Damon and Elena in seasons 1-4, despite how terrible they were to Stefan. (The actors had lit chemistry back then, sue me.)

Stefan is a psycho murderer too, but at least he feels bad about it. I invite anyone to explain to me how saving Damon, and giving him a human life, tilted the karmic scales in Stefan’s favour. One mass-murderer dying, so that another mass-murderer can live, does not redeem the first mass-murderer, particularly when the major crime the first mass-murderer seems to be paying for, is the murder of a THIRD MASS-MURDERER (Enzo). I just refuse to believe that the universe’s sense of justice is this out to fucking lunch.  

Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the most glaring plot hole in this clusterfuck of a sacrifice=redemption narrative, which is obviously that DAMON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO SHIT TO FIND REDEMPTION/PEACE. NOTHING NADA ZILCH. Thus undermining the entire justification for Stefan’s death. Dear god, what a mess.

I can sort of see how in Stefan’s deeply troubled mind dying for his brother would redeem him, because he loved the shit out of his brother, despite how rarely Damon actually deserved that love. Which brings us to another high-key problematic aspect of this finale, which is the assassination of Stefan’s character development. Over 8 seasons, we watched Stefan struggle with his mental illness, his addiction, his complete lack of self-worth, and most importantly, his suicidal tendencies. Once he was able to remove himself from the Triangle of Doom, he actually made a lot of progress! He stopped referring to the Ripper in the third person, he got a handle on the whole blood thing, and when he finally opened his eyes about Caroline, he found a healthy, happy, mutually supportive relationship for pretty much the first time in his entire life. He didn’t ever fully let go of his dependency on Damon, but by the time season 8 started, he was planning a life with Caroline and clearly heading in that direction. His suicidal tendencies made a come-back, thanks to killing Enzo and the guilt that caused him, but by 8x13 he was like I WANNA LIVE, by 8x14 he was re-proposing to Caroline and talking about growing old, and by 8x15 he was effing married to the love of his life and dancing and laughing with her at their wedding.

Then 8x16 comes around, and suddenly, he’s back to “I HAVE TO DIE BECAUSE OF WHAT I DID TO ENZO AND I WON’T BE ABLE TO MAKE UP FOR MY SINS BECAUSE I’M HUMAN AND DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME BUT DAMON YOU HAVE ETERNITY AND YOU’RE THE BETTER MAN” and I’m like THA FUCK? Did I imagine the previous 15 episodes/the previous 5 seasons? Is this the right channel? WHAT IS HAPPENING WHERE AM I RIGHT NOW?  

There are also so many plot holes when it comes to discerning Stefan’s own motivation for this sacrifice, directly out of the dialogue and HIS OWN DAMN MOUTH. He tells Damon that he has “an eternity with Elena” to make up for his own sins. But Stefan’s actions were definitely pre-meditated right? He knew he was going to give Damon the cure, so obviously Damon will not have an eternity to make up for his own crimes? Also Elena is a human now and Damon has been droning on about their human endgame plan for like 5 years now, ever since Elena went into her mystical coma? And then my personal favourite, when Stefan talks to Elena, he tells her he wanted her to have the chance to get to know human Damon. BUT EXCUSE ME as far as he knew Elena was stuck in the mystical coma until Bonnie dies, which everyone assumed would be 60-70 years from then, so seeing as how Damon will age and probably be dead by the time Elena wakes up, or at least very wrinkly and very old, how does he figure he is giving Damon and Elena their happily ever after? As far as Stefan knows, or at least SHOULD KNOW relying on concepts like logic and common sense, he just took away both Damon’s right to choose to die, AND Damon’s happily ever after with Elena, and this is full circle and remedies his original sin of forcing Damon to turn into a vampire and I’m just !?!??!!? I’M PHRASING THESE AS QUESTIONS BECAUSE I LEGIT WANT A FUCKING EXPLANATION SOMEONE PLS HELP.  

Oh and btw the whole Stefan sacrificing himself for Damon and Elena and making up for his original sin of forcing Damon to turn, was so effing murky in the actual episode it had to be explained in interviews by KW and JP, at which point KW made it clear that this entire nightmare happened because he is a 14 year old Stelena fanboy and didn’t watch the last 5 seasons of his own damn show AND NOW I’M ACTUALLY LAUGHING IT’S ALL SO RIDICULOUS.

So, cool. Stefan is dead, Caroline is widowed on her effing wedding day, I am emotionally gutted, and basically this all happened for virtually no reason my brain can discern. Very epic, so fitting, what a pay-off, much full-circle, argaahgaahfTHEFUCK.

When Caroline left him that voicemail, I couldn’t even enjoy the “I will love you forever” line because she also said “I understand” and I was like OMIGOD CAROLINE PLS EXPLAIN IT OUT LOUD CAUSE I SURE AS FUCK DON’T.

And even after all this, the writers are not QUITE done making a mockery out of the notion of consistency in story-telling. They decide that the last scene featuring Caroline Forbes-Salvatore, a character whose strongest traits are her loyalty to the people she loves and moral backbone, and who was widowed like 5 minutes ago from the viewer’s perspective, should be spent with Caroline receiving a letter from a murderous one-night-stand she does not GAF about. For the cherry-on-top, anyone who watches the Originals knows that the one-night-stand is currently suffering some sort of hell torment and hallucinating his actual true love, one Camille O’Connor. AND THEN THE WRITERS HAVE TO GO ON TWITTER to try and explain how the fuck this timeline could possibly make sense and Joseph Morgan is like “I’ve filmed all of season 4 lol what letter?” and I’m laughing again because this is total amateur-hour. Thank you to all the twitter users who have been dragging this joke of a writing team online, your salt is giving me life. Never has a moment of such cheap and blatant fan-baiting backfired so magnificently. I was planning on watching the Originals when it comes back but HAHA NOPE NEVER AGAIN JULIE PLEC, BACK TO THE DUMPSTER WITH YOU.

Anyways, this rant got out of hand. The point here is that I feel justified in completely ignoring this entire finale because of how little sense it made or even attempted to make. I’m sad a show I’ve loved for 8 years ended on such an absurd and poorly-plotted note. Perhaps I’ll eventually get around to writing some fan fiction in an attempt to create my own little alternative ending. In retrospect, I probably should have known better, but I hung in there because when TVD was good, it was really good. But damn, when it was bad, it was truly unwatchable.

Stefan and Caroline forever.

Brand X

A/N: Okay. This episode, you guys. This episooooode. I’m not kidding, I was thisclose to writing it as just some bad dream Scully had. (Luckily, @kateyes224 talked me off the ledge. Hehe, thanks again for that.) Not only do we have the nasty hiccup of an unconscious and hospitalized Mulder, who undoubtedly needs bloodwork, which would surely reveal the presence of fancy medication for his stupid brain disease. Oh, no. We also have a two-week gap at the end of the episode, in an already-super-tight time window between Chimera and Requiem.

So. Here’s how this is going to work. Brand X didn’t take place at this point in Season 7. Just like I did with The Rain King, I am placing this episode significantly earlier than it aired. I’m not even going to commit to it taking place in Season 7 at all. The scene I’ve written fits within the episode, without giving any larger context. That’s the best I’m going to be able to do with this trainwreck. ;)


“A form of, what, ‘super tobacco?’”
“Which possibly could have created super bugs. I guess the real question is could they have become dangerous to humans?”

“I don’t see how,” says Dr. Nance. “Even taking into account the morphological changes in the mandibles, I’m afraid I am at a loss as to how they could cause the sort of damage you’ve described.”

“Okay, well what about a pathogen, then?” Scully counters. “Is it plausible that the beetles could have transmitted something capable of wreaking such comprehensive destruction to the respiratory system?”

Skinner is so far out of his element, here. He’s glad Scully knows the right questions to ask.

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Thanks for your requests!

Here’s my third entry for Boyfriend!NCT! I really enjoy writing these so much and please tell me what you think of these fluffballs! And also please check out my Boyfriend!Taeyong and Winwin! 

🍀 My inbox is always open yall! 

🍀 Feel free to send me requests! 

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Personal Statement Time

Good Morning All,

I thought I would do a quick write up on personal statements since this is the time of year to start really working on/finishing yours… That and I can’t get to the gym because Safelite is replacing my windshield (damn you tractor trailers). 

What goes in a personal statement?

Yes, this should be a pretty silly question for those of you applying this year, but for those of you who are still very early on in the process, the personal statement is an essay about yourself and why you want to go into medicine. There are hundreds of other careers out there, many of which are far less stressful and generate far more income, so you had better come up with a good reason why you would like to become a doctor. 

What if I can’t really put my finger on it? What if I just know I want to help people?

Well, I wish I could say thats fine… but its not. When I started the process, I knew I wanted to be a doctor, but I couldn’t quite say why. Truth was, I had a lot of experiences contributing to my decision, and without ever really sitting down to think about it, none jumped out at me. In reality 99.9 percent of human beings want to help other people. Its why you hear your friends in their late 20’s who are not in medicine saying things like “I just really want to find a job where I can make a difference”. People naturally feel good when they make someone else feel good and as a result, you can’t exactly write a personal statement about your general feelings. The question that got my mind thinking was this “If you want to help people, why don’t you be a ____? insert "cop” “firemen” “guidance counselor” etc. 

So what do I write about?

Unfortunately, I can’t answer that for you. What I can offer, are some suggestions of where I looked to find the answer. The first being personal health issues. This is a great reason to be interested in medicine. If you have been unfortunate enough to have a recurring or serious health issue, and were inspired by the amazing nurses and doctors you worked with, then talk about it. If that doesn’t quite fit your bill, the next place I would look is shadowing. Pay attention here, if you think about your shadowing and can’t come up with at least one influential experience, you probably need to do more shadowing before further considering medical school. Remember that the admission committees want to make sure your really really certain that medicine is the life for you. That means shadowing a lot to see what it’s like first hand. This category will apply to many of you looking to write your statements(its ultimately what I used). Remember to keep reading though because if you just write about shadowing, I promise you will not get in. Lastly, there is caring for a family member. I urge you to use caution on this one. I am passing no judgement on this but it would seem that everyone has had an ill grandmother or grandfather that they assisted, and I get the vibe that the ADCOM’s get lots of statements about this. Thats NOT to say that if this is really why you want to be a doctor, you shouldn’t write it, I’m just merely warning you that it had better be pretty damn convincing with the popularity of that topic. OHHH, the real last I suppose would be writing about an underserved medical experience. If you are lucky enough to have a meaningful one of these… god bless you. I still don’t fully understand the absurd overemphasis on underserved medicine, but it appears to be the golden ticket. Excuse my bitterness on the topic but it is beyond frustrating to live in an area that has few if any underserved populations, acquire numerous great healthcare experiences that are in “well served” populations, and then be penalized on your applications for not having “meaningful underserved experience”. If this was made quite clear to me as a freshman that I needed to seek out underserved opportunities, and that all of my “well served” experiences would be cast aside, I wouldn’t be complaining, but anyway… I digress.

So I have an idea of my topic now, what do I need to put in this statement?

Your personal statement should be exciting but not corny, and above all, honest. This is your chance to show the ADCOM that you can capture their attention by being unique and genuine. Include info about your discovery of medicine and your interests, then incorporate your topic from above. It should ideally flow chronologically while being clear and concise. Generally, you want to shoot for a page or two, but NO MORE than two (single spaced, word count is on AAMC’s site). Remember, these committees read thousands of these, so yours should be memorable, but most of all, it should be you. Yes, what I’m saying write this yourself. Under no circumstances should you be considering hiring someone to write your essay. Proofreading and editing, yes, thats a great thing to have someone else do, but writing, absolutely not. 

What did I personally write about?

While I would love to post my personal statement for you all to read, it would put too much of a connection between me and this blog. That and I’m not sure the legality of doing so, and then having someone inevitably steal it and use it (none of you…but googlers). So I will have to describe what I did: I started with the portrayal of myself, the attending, and the patients family standing in a room, all of us surrounding a horribly ill neonate. I conveyed my desire to be there for not only the patient, but also the family. This was essentially my hook into medicine as the attending “gave me this patient” to research and present on all week. It was the first time anyone had allowed me to “participate” in healthcare and I loved it. 

Next I jumped back a bit and explained my curiosity for medicine from a young age, and my abnormally early start into pre-hospital medicine at just 16 years old, followed by my quick progression into an EMT. 

I then jumped back to the neonate and further illustrated my experience helping to care for him and describing all that I had learned in the week, but clinically, but also socially. I learned that I had the ability to connect with people in their time of need and I really enjoyed speaking with the family, despite the difficult nature of many conversations. Most of all, I knew I wanted to be there” for the many other sick patients and scared families in the future. 

A simple statement, yes! But did it get the job done, absolutely! These statements aren’t about coming up with the most elaborate, memorable, perfect essay the ADCOM has ever read, but more about making you a human being rather than a small stack of papers on their desk. There is a lyric that I really like, and I think it applies a lot to personal statements in its own way “Cuts on paper hearts can be awful deep”. What I mean is, if you can tug at a string of the ADCOM’s heart and make them believe in you and your desires, then you have succeeded. 

But wait ?!?!

You didn’t include the topic I wanted to write about, or the story I’m using, or the experience I value most etc… Sorry I just had to add this to help address some of the inevitable questions I will receive. Anyway, your right, I have by no means addressed EVERYTHING about writing a personal statement, but what I do feel comfortable saying is that I have covered the general basis of the statement and what should be in it, and what some safe topics are to write about. If you have further questions, or more personal questions, as always, I will be glad to answer them, just shoot me a question on here. Other than that, remember, you want this and its one of your life goals… a silly little essay surly won’t stand in your way :)

Until next time,


a/n: i know i have more prompts to fill, but i had a stroke of inspiration for another high school au that’s way more feel-good fluff than my previous one (which i love but it was hard on me personally and this made me feel better [please note these fics are not prequel/sequel but two separate works, despite their similar structure]), so i had to get it down. nothing happens but it’s a fun, banter-y, makeout nothing with a lot of run-ons and italics, so have a look and enjoy.

dare me to do it

all you do is sit and stare
beggin’ on my knees, baby, won’t you please
run your fingers through my hair?

—joan jett & the blackhearts

[jonxsansa, modern high school au ~4k+]

Jon wouldn’t say that he flirts with his best friend’s sister—“It’s called being polite,” he’s pointed out to an obviously perturbed Robb on more than one occasion—but he also wouldn’t necessarily say that he doesn’t, either; he just wouldn’t say that to Robb.  

But he absolutely doesn’t go to Robb’s soccer practices because that just happens to be when the cheerleaders practice, too. That’s a coincidence. Sam covers sports for the school paper so thoroughly that it’s practically inhuman, and Jon will tag along to keep him company, that’s all it is. He can’t help it if Sansa, you know, just happens to be there.

Not to mention, it’s not his fault that the muscles in her upper arms strain when she piles her masses of crimson hair into a bun on top of her head. He’s not some sort of pervert, either, but the sparrow tattooed on her lower back is expertly shaded so if anyone asks, he’s only admiring its craftsmanship. And it’s hot out this early in the autumn so, yeah, Sansa’s gonna strip her shirt off and lead practice cheers in nothing but a bright yellow sports bra and black leggings that have got to be tailor-made, he swears, because the way they fit the curve of her ass is just like… But he’s definitely, most decidedly not looking at her ass, Jon reminds himself, so how would he even know?

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A Lesson in Self-Care

Fandom: Gravity Falls
Characters: Stanford Pines, Stanley Pines
Words: 2242

Written for sparkstheyesterday, who donated to the Fluffstravaganza for charity, with a prompt for Ford hurt/comfort related to the nutrient pills.

Given the topic, I feel that I should probably issue a slight content warning for disordered eating

The cool of night had settled in with fading, and then dim light, leaving the two older men sitting on the porch only in the low-visibility glow of the porch lights. They cast a lazy, almost sleepy feeling across the scene. Perhaps it permeated his subconscious, or perhaps it was something else, but either way Ford let out a yawn.

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This is No Fairy Tale

Fandom: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Characters: Percival Graves

Pairing: Percival Graves x Reader

Notes/Warnings: Um…there is a very brief smut scene, but it’s not really in depth description. Cursing

Word count: 3710

Chapter 2: The Voices of Ghosts

Chapter 3: Whispers of Your Touch

Chapter 4: Kissed by the Evening’s Breath

Imagine: one night stand leads to pregnancy au. Not really a one night stand, but I couldn’t resist.

Tags: @aislinsekhem

Originally posted by dragonsandgold

This was no fairy tale.

You weren’t a princess, he wasn’t a prince.

He was a wizard, you were a no-maj…

Things couldn’t work out the way you wanted them to be…

When you had first met Percival Graves near the end of 1926, he had been an angry man. Hurt, oh so hurt, and so very angry. Of what, you didn’t really know (he would never really say), but when he had come into the speakeasy you were working at, you took notice of him. He didn’t really…fit…into the normal group you had gotten used to seeing.

And it was completely obvious he wasn’t a usual person in a speakeasy, when one of the regulars smacked you on the ass and he retaliated, by smashing his fist into the man’s face. A pretty usual brawl, but when you had led him outside he had been followed by the man and two of his friends, threatening the both of you as you tried to calm everything down.

You thought Percival Graves was an idiot when he pulled out what looked like a very extravagant looking stick.

That was also the night you were introduced to the wizarding world.

So yes, when you had met Percival Graves…it hadn’t exactly been under normal circumstances.

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kpop1237  asked:

Hello! Not sure if you're accepting requests or not but if you are and it's no bother I was wondering if you could do HC for the RFA + V & Saeran as to how they would react to MC being cheated on and how would they confess their feelings? Thank you!

hello ! ngl i was kinda confused with this at first (not your fault tho) so i hope i got this right, if not feel free to hmu and ill write something else~ thank you !

also side note : i finished this on ~3 hours of sleep so they got progressively worse after, say, jaehee ^^;; i may fix them later but for now i REST


  • a n g r y
  • how could someone cheat on an amazing person like you ??
  • you were literally perfect
  • fuck the one who didn’t see that
  • he actually wanted to fight them
  • but calmed down when you held his hand, leaned against his shoulder, and gave him a little smile
  • hakkuna matata, my dear boy
  • if you wanted to forget about it, he would respect that
  • but…
  • he loved you and wanted you to know that
  • itd be sickeningly romantic, hed hold your hands in his and lean his forehead against yours
  • kiss each hand, and let his lips linger for a moment, eyes closed
  • then hed open his eyes and look into yours, and with the sweetest, most heartfelt words he could muster
  • hed tell you just how important you are to him
  • youre his world, his everything, and he couldn’t stand the thought that someone hurt you…his princess
  • he loved you more than anything, dammit
  • probably cried a little
  • its okay you probably cried too


  • he was honestly outraged
  • but he knew picking a fight would just cause more problems
  • that’s not what you needed
  • so he just held you
  • he held you tight and promised hed never let go, never let anyone hurt you ever again
  • and he kissed your forehead
  • and cheeks…and pet your hair…and…
  • he held you so close and tight you wanted to say ‘hold me tighter’ but wasn’t sure he could
  • he calmed down after a moment, apologizing
  • he overreacted didn’t he ? let his emotions get the best of him, didn’t he ?
  • you insisted “no, he was perfectly fine” and he swallowed
  • “i love you.”
  • he what
  • its just, youre so important to him, y’know ? he cant stand the thought of someone hurting you
  • he loves you…
  • shit
  • shit
  • abort abort he didn’t mean to say that a b o r t
  • he kept apologizing, and tried to pull away from you
  • but you just placed a hand on his cheek and lay you head on his shoulder
  • he wrapped his arms back around you as you both fell into a blissful silence


  • she was angry of course, but she was mostly worried
  • plus, she knew throwing a fit wouldn’t solve anything
  • besides, you needed her right now
  • you were always there for her, the least she could do was be there for you too
  • you held each other on her couch, she let you vent and cry if you needed
  • you felt so safe and comfortable with her
  • she didn’t speak until you were done, sweet words and reassurances
  • her voice was low and calm and she was petting your hair and you just felt so at home
  • “mc…you can always come to me if you need anything. im always here for you, because i like you… i really like you. youre so important to me… i might even…”
  • you sniffled and looked up at her, seeing her face red and eyes adverted
  • “might even…?”
  • “i… might even love you, mc.”
  • jaehee felt her stomach twist with anxiety
  • but it was better to come clean about these things anyways, right ?
  • “don’t… answer. right now isn’t about me. its about you. you can tell me your thoughts later, when youre ready. ill make us some coffee and put on a movie, okay?”

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MFA Thesis Bloopers: The Hunger Games Edition

I had a big chunk of my thesis talking about why Katniss’ narrative voice is an ineffective authorial choice and, as a result, actually objectifies Katniss in and of itself by removing her agency, but it ended up not really fitting in with the rest of my paper. Howeversies, I still kinda like it, so I’m posting it here. Panem Companion Parte Deux, all.

And yes: it is written very informally, not in Academia Language, because the crux of my paper is Voice, so @anneursu had me write the whole thesis as myself, not as an Academia Robot. Although I am kind of an academia robot anyway.

Also, this is minus the italics and stuff for titles and whatever because I’m lazy and MLA suuuuuuucks.


In bestselling YA fiction, there is no shortage of teenage girls who speak out around and against the system.

In Ally Condie’s The Matched Trilogy, protagonist Cassia Reyes teaches herself to write longhand—an obsolete skill in her world—and uses it to her advantage to be able to communicate with fellow rebels and to trade for priceless banned books and works of art. Language matters to Cassia Reyes.

June Iparis, a female soldier and top recruit for her own shadowy government in Marie Lu’s Legend series, becomes intimately acquainted with the duplicitous nature of double-speak as she finds love with her society’s number one criminal and sees her brother murdered by the ruling class he served: while the coding of her military superiors’ speeches allows them to conceal insidious truths, Day, her rebel boyfriend, relies on being able to hide his messages in plain sight so they can survive.

And yet.

For all of the stories about teenage girls overthrowing corrupt governments, communicating rebel information, and infiltrating unseen behind enemy lines, there are few novels written in voices that take advantage of their protagonists’ proclivity towards playing with language.

Cassia Reyes teaches herself to write but models her language, from the outset of the trilogy, on bare-bones grammatical prescriptivism and the poetry of dead white guys; she learns to write longhand, but the words that she shares in this writing, and in her narration, do not speak of a girl learning that her entire world is a lie and her place in it, more variable than she could have dared to dream. Cassia Reyes is the same narrator, even if not the same girl, by the end of Reached as she was at the beginning of Matched, despite one of the major themes of her series being the way that censorship and control quell individual thought. After all that Cassia sees and learns and feels and grows—and leads—her voice remains the voice of Ally Condie: a traditionally educated adult from our contemporary United States. Even before she discovers the lost poetry of Dylan Thomas, Cassia’s voice suggests a Brigham Young English major.

Marie Lu offers alternating perspectives through June and Day, each speaking in first-person chapters, throughout the Legend series, but both of her dynamic personalities speak in the same voice. As a soldier, an orphan, a party to the system itself, June’s voice is measured and hesitant to become emotional, and this makes sense. It makes less sense for Day to be the same: Day, who lives on the streets to protect his beloved, and deathly ill, family from recriminations for his rebellion; Day, who makes his money in fistfights and betting matches; Day, for whom remaining alive is an act of sedition. Lu’s otherwise-impressive worldbuilding is belied by the similarity in June- and Day’s thoughts and voices, and the way this similarity undermines as superficial their supposed gaps in gender, economic status, and right to live in the world.

The opportunities for linguistic play available through science fiction and fantasy are abundant in general, but young adult books gain an additional layer of permission to screw convention when their protagonists are teenage girls. Unfortunately, too many of the series that gain mainstream attention do so because they adhere most strictly to prescriptivist language: the language of adult, white men, in particular. In doing so, they break a covenant with their readers that is as deep a betrayal as the covenants broken by the dystopian governments of their pages – these books, too, cast their teenage protagonists out and refuse them a full “life” on the page.

In The Hunger Games trilogy, Suzanne Collins writes Katniss, her teenage female protagonist, as often the last to know and integrate coded language, or to be excluded from its creation entirely. While it is arguable that Madge Undersee, also seventeen and a tertiary character, set the image of the Mockingjay into play as a revolutionary symbol, Collins gives no female teen characters real agency in their diction or syntax: Peeta, a boy, gets to lie and charm; Gale, a boy, chooses to eschew language for action; Annie, a very young woman, can barely speak; Katniss’ own most stunning verbal moment, her singing to Rue in her grave, is given over to words that Katniss credits with her father and his mining culture.

It is in this mining culture, though, where we do see some semblance of personal voice from Katniss. Before she ever volunteers for The Hunger Games, Collins allows for the reader to meet Katniss by engaging in a day of normalcy before all the bloodlust and conspiracy. We are gifted with Katniss’ small, private moments with her beloved sister Prim, and the nickname that she’s bestowed her (“little duck” [15]). Collins crafts, beautifully, Katniss’ tense and restrained reaction to the animosity between her only two friends, Gale and Madge, in a minute-long exchange that will come to define so much of the remainder of Katniss’ life: “I don’t like that Gale took a dig at Madge, but he’s right, of course. The reaping system is unfair… here’s the catch” (13).

On her hunting trip with Gale—the only time we see her feel at home—her language is straightforward: “[I] retrieved the small bow and arrows he’d made me from a hollow tree. I probably didn’t go more than twenty yards into the woods… After several hours, I had the good luck to kill a rabbit” (50). Her language early in the book reflects her necessary self-interest: she did the thing she needed to do to survive. No frills. While in its own way prescriptivist, this is a narrative stance that makes sense with Katniss’ upbringing and character.

All too soon, though, the story moves out of Katniss’ home in the Seam of District 12… and the realism, the grounded personality, in her voice slips away, too. As soon as Katniss boards the Tribute train, her narration relies on language that Suzanne Collins would know and use—not an uneducated teenage hunter-gatherer from a marginalized race in a marginalized nation-state under a tyrannical dictatorship. Katniss enters the Capitol knowing the names of foods she’s never eaten and clothes she’s never worn. Her metaphors and similes come from places and things she’s never seen.

The creature standing before me in the full-length mirror has come from another world. Where skin shimmers and eyes flash and apparently they make their clothes from jewels. Because my dress, oh, my dress is entirely covered in reflective precious gems, red and yellow and white with bits of blue that accent the tips of the flame design. The slightest movement gives the impression I am engulfed in tongues of fire. (120)

The language of this passage, when Katniss is first transformed into The Girl on Fire by Cinna, is one of the more lyrical scenes in Collins’ writing. Unfortunately, that’s where it goes most awry in its narrative voice. Katniss is self-admittedly not a lyrical person. Earlier in the same book, the most beautiful article of clothing Katniss knows is “a soft blue thing” (15), hardly the lush and waxing detailed knowledge of Cinna’s creation. Katniss’ costume is meant to transform her into a symbol for external viewers to recognize as she parades around the arena, but in betraying her voice, this passage also transforms Katniss from a fully-fleshed character into a mere symbol, an archetypical object, for her author to move around the plot. Much like Cinna arguably does when he uses Katniss’ body as the host for his own political ideals, Collins removes Katniss’ agency in favor of her own linguistic comfort.

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let’s talk about that Chicken Episode™

Aka that one time that Samurai Jack totally had his spirit broken.

Originally, I just wanted to analyze how weirdly distressing (???) the ending is, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had been constantly thrown through loops throughout the entire episode. It’s a wild ride! And the monster fights are a total blast, as always. So, here’s my play-by-play of the whole thing. Not exactly a liveblog, just my reactions throughout. 

If you want, you can watch the whole episode on youtube right here. Or you could go in blind and just listen to me ramble, that works too.

HEADS UP ABOUT WHAT’S UNDER THE CUT: Lots of images. I accidentally crashed tumblr the first time I did this. It’s also really, really long. I want to apologize a LOT to mobile users right now, but mostly I wish that readmores worked on the app version.  Also, uh, some talk about animal abuse? And lots of cartoon violence? Nothing realistically grotesque, but still. You have been warned! LET’S DO THIS.

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traveling masterpost

Traveling Q&A

 Q: What is traveling?

A: Traveling is a mental activity categorized by intense, divergent imagining. It manifests itself in many different ways and varies a lot from person to person. It is more common for neurodiverse people. You can find a short overview of it here.

 Q: Are there any other words for this activity?

A: It is sometimes referred to in media as ‘maladaptive daydreaming’ or ‘compulsive fantasy’. However these terms were invented by psychiatrists who classified it is a distinct disorder, which I do not agree with – which is why I came up with the term ‘traveling’.

 Q: Is traveling a disorder or a mental illness?

A: It is not a distinct disorder, although it can co-occur with actual disorders and mental illnesses. Traveling is something that is done willingly and on purpose, and does not cause the traveler any distress on itself. We classify disorders and illnesses as things that are damaging or at least unwanted for the person, and although we can argue with some of the definitions, I can say that travelers do not suffer directly from their traveling. Therefore it is not a disorder. You can read more about why I am against calling traveling a disorder here.

 Q: I think I might be a traveler. How do I figure it out?

A: There are no rigid criteria for traveling. I can describe it in one way, but another traveler might have a different definition. Still, I wrote a post that can help you figure out whether the term fits you.

 Q: I am a traveler and it interferes with my life. Do you have any advice for how to control it?

A: Yes I do (you can find it here). I believe that traveling can be effectively controlled without completely stopping it.

 Q: Is traveling more common for autistic people?

A: Although I do not have any real data to prove it, anecdotally I see that it is more common for people on the autism spectrum. Vivid imagination is listed as an atypical autistic trait and clinical definitions of ‘maladaptive daydreaming disorder’ include traits that remind me of autistic behaviors (the most prominent of them is stimming that accompanies daydreaming, according to official literature). I think that a lot of people who fit the definition of a maladaptive daydreamer are probably neurodiverse.

 There are several reasons why autistic people in particular are more likely to be travelers. I list them in this post. Some of them include divergent thinking, sensory processing disorder, insomnia and need for support and coping mechanisms.

 Q: So is traveling a coping mechanism?

A: In my opinion it is. Although it can’t substitute real experience, traveling acts as a protective environment for the traveler. It allows us to escape, relax and heal. That’s why I say that it absolutely shouldn’t be discouraged.

 Q: What is mental stimming?

A: It is repetitive mental activity that is a subset of daydreaming. Stimming is a behavior seen in neurodiverse people (common for autism, ADHD/ADD, anxiety disorders and schizophrenia). Mental stimming in particular is a part of a wider definition of traveling. It can include playing a song in your head, imagining video fragments, making mental dialogues and more. You can read more about it here.

Q: Am I the only traveler out there?

A: You most certainly are not.

Q: Where can I talk about traveling?

A: Autistic Worlds is a blog about imagination and creativity on the autism spectrum. If you happen to be autistic, feel free to pay us a visit. I am always ready to answer your questions.


‘keep calm and travel on’ poster

traveling playlist on 8tracks

My First SD experience.

He was a legit SD and was a millionaire many times over and was over 60. But he was probably the most obnoxious, immature, insulting, country, drunkard person I had ever experienced. However, after 2 meets we had decided on an arrangement.
So, we decide to go out of town 3 hours away. So, one of my standards for long distance travel is that he always facilitate travel. Even if it is just a couple of hours away. Mainly because I’m a student and really, a 4 hour turn around could be better spent studying. So, I ask that he send a driver to pick me up at the leasing office of my apt complex. Im expecting a little car or something to come pick me up. But to my surprise, he sends a gorgeous stretch limo 😯. Which of course looked very ….. odd, at my mid level, student apartment complex, lol. But it was nice. So, the driver is im guessing a friend of his since he looked well over 50 also.
So me and my SD meet in his hometown where he drives an hour from there to our destination. Well, we check in and before we leave our room he criticizes my outfit (heels), jewelry and choice to carry a purse. I just wrote it off as him being…..a country bumpkin.
We get there and had an okay time as he was teaching me how to gamble🎲 at all of these different tables, ate at a really nice steakhouse, went to this nice live music venue. We also indulged in the free drinks at the casino and this is where things turn kinda sour. He let me sit at the table and gamble. He stood over me knocking back drink after drink. I didn’t know how to gamble THAT WELL😏 ( I largely know what I’m doing) but if I made a bad play he would start cursing and saying obscene things 🗣over my head and in my ear where everyone could hear. Even the dealer would throw me a look like 😳 ,“wtf”?
So, the end of the night is drawing near and my anxiety starts to gather like slowly but surely😰. Kind of like when you’re in the doctors room waiting to get a shot or speak in front of an audience . My nerves were going ballistic because I know it’s almost time to sleep with this man whom i’ve grown to loathe 😷 at this point. So at this point Im deliberately making bad plays to buy time from going back into our hotel room 🤔. It’s like 1am, so he says “in a few more rounds we need to go back to our room "😱😱. I rush in 3 more rum and cokes from the cocktail waitress because my nerves are spiking.
So, back at our room, he’s in bed very quickly (of course) however I’m still kind of nervous so I’m in the bathroom literally taking forever to take off my jewelry & settle in. So I climb in bed and of course he rolls over and starts enjoying his “liberty” by fondling me like an overeager virgin. But, I’m so uncomfortable that I start playfully objecting. Like “what are you doing, lol”, “you’re so awkward, ha”? After an awkward moment, he rolls over and frustratingly says “just forget it” . I was mildly relieved, but as I laid on my side of the bed I knew I had silently forfeit my “allowance” out of sheer nervousness. I was disappointed in myself. Fuck!
I woke up to myself early the next morning telling myself “you did not go through all of this for nothing”, and when he awoke he of course, tried again, and this time I just let it happen. He literally smelled like cereal, corn flakes😷. And he kept grunting, not like in a sexy way, but old man grunting 🙄. He was not stimulating AT ALL and his condom was ill fitting. He kept talking about how beautiful my skin was while I was counting down the seconds until it was over. Literally, in my mind counting the SECONDS. We started at 8:30 am, I know because I was facing a digital clock and told myself to “just hang in there until the clock hits 8:45”. At 8:45 I said “ I need to go take a shower, I think checkout is at 11”. and like that, it was over 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾.
He drove me all the way back to the leasing office of my complex. When we got out and hugged he handed me an envelope ✉️💵 with my allowance. On the envelope was the moniker of the hotel we stayed in, meaning yes, I almost forfeit my allowance as he waited until the morning of to secure it in an envelope.
To be honest with you, as I hopped in my bed with my dog, ripped open that envelope, fingered through those 100s, and started divvying up the money for rent and bills, the awful experience had already become a small figment of my imagination. ✌🏾️

anonymous asked:

honestly how is anyone having babies in the wasteland with all the radiation? it's in the food/water/environment/etc. wouldn't that affect fertility at all?

Actually, this is how I explain the lack of children in Fallout’s world!

This is a piece on

Birth control/sterility + some speculation on Duncan’s illness and the New Plague

Societies with living standards as low as the ones in the wasteland typically have lots of children - as a way to ensure that at least some of them survive and get to experience adulthood. It’s not just the raiders and simple bandits that should be taken into account - there are also the matters of malnutrition, starvation and, most importantly, diseases, which are far worse enemies than anything else, especially with the admittedly low level of medical care in the wasteland. Yes, there are doctors, and they can help you get better, but all of them seem to specialize on combat medicine, meaning that they heal wounds, not maladies. They know what to do if you break a leg or get shot, in short - they know how to stitch you up. It’s easier and simpler than having to deal with mysterious symptoms when a person is coughing their lungs out or develops an unexplainable rash. You can’t treat that with Med-X and RadAway. You have to know what tuberculosis and dermatitis are, how they are treated and how you can help a person when there is no medicine left from the Old World that might help you.

And despite all of this, children are a rarity in the wasteland. Having more than one child borders on impossible, it seems. So my explanation is exactly that: that the high radiation level is what keeps people from getting pregnant.

That also explains how wasteland people deal with birth control. They don’t. Simple as that. I’m certain there are no pills left, and condoms probably aren’t easy to come by anymore either - if they’d be of any use any longer anyways, after 200 years. So yeah, even though all these methods are no longer available, people still don’t get pregnant as often as they should - which means that they just aren’t able to.

And since I’ve already mentioned diseases, I’ll take this chance to talk a little bit about them, if you allow me…

Not much has been said about diseases in Fallout’s lore, but unless the wastelanders magically mutated and developed resistance against most forms of illnesses (given everything, it might be something to consider…), diseases should be celebrating a grand, grand comeback. Vaccines are gone. Medicine is gone. Knowledgeable doctors are gone. All of this, and especially the first factor, mean that it was really easy for the bacteria to start threatening human lives again, as they did in the Middle Ages.

Honestly, with a setting like that, I am surprised that the wasteland hasn’t experienced a few pandemics yet. But we don’t have many characters talking about diseases at all, as far as I can remember - unless the illness is a consequence of high radiation, like in the Pitt. Except there is one: MacCready.

It hasn’t been made clear what it was that happened to Duncan but the description MacCready gives us is this:

”One day he’s playing out in the fields behind our farms, the next he took a fever and these blue boils popped up all over his body. Last time I saw him he was almost to weak to walk”

The first thing that came to my mind was the bubonic plague. I am even sure that I wasn’t the only one who made that connection, yet I wasn’t actually satisfied with it. Because the bubonic plague? Really? How high are the chances for that to happen? But I honesty wasn’t able to find any other disease with similar symptoms. The only other alternative I stumbled upon were staphylococcal infections where boils happen to be a common symptom. But it’s different and it doesn’t match the picture. Not exactly. The boils aren’t blue, and sometimes it looks more like the first stages of ghoulification. Not to mention other symptoms like cellulitis, contagious rash MacCready doesn’t seem to have, and other things that aren’t mentioned in the description of Duncan’s condition.

Of all the actually existing diseases, the bubonic plague resembles Duncan’s condition the most.

I wrote about it (link) a while ago, and some sentences from the last paragraph are copypasted from there. The big question, of course, is why the whole wasteland isn’t infected yet. Several things to consider:

  1. The people of the Capital Wasteland live isolated from one another. That way, any kind of disease has troubles spreading and infecting a lot of people.
  2. Even though it seems that way, people don’t always get sick if they have a relative who is infected with the bubonic plague. Which makes sense because otherwise most of us wouldn’t be alive - none of our ancestors would have survived the Black Death of the 14th century. That’s why MacCready isn’t ill.
  3. Duncan isn’t the only case. MacCready wants to go to Med-Tek and search for the cure in this place because he met a person whose buddy got sick with the same disease. So it seems like it does spread, to some extent at least.
  4. Perhaps, the most interesting point. As it turns out, there is such a thing as immunity against the bubonic plague. According to genetic studies, during the Black Death only 0,2% of Europe’s population had such an immunity. Naturally, every person that fit into this small category survived - and passed their genes on to the next generation. So now, as an American citizen, you have a 15% chance of carrying that gene. It is possible that the number of such people grew over the centuries.
  5. But this is the theory I support more than any other, even though I originally dismissed it:

It’s the New Plague

Remember this?

For those who don’t know or forgot: the New Plague is a virus that has been engineered by the U.S. government - it was a weapon created with the intent of sterilizing the infected people, meaning, of course, the Chinese. Naturally, the Chinese got hold of the virus and released it on American ground, which led to 200 000 dead, a nation-wide quarantine, and later - to the creation of the Forced Evolutionary Virus, that was originally designed as a Pan-Immunity Virion Project to make every American citizen immune against every disease.

The symptoms of the New Plagues are these:

The time from onset of early, flu-like symptoms to death was three to five days. Later, infected subjects suffered from profuse sweating, unexplained contusions/swelling, and massive external hemorrhaging. Eventually, the New Plague resulted in clogged respiration, usually killing the infected subject. Survivors of the New Plague usually ended up sterile.

It was also called the Blue Flu. 

[…] the next he took a fever and these blue boils popped up all over his body….

It is important to note here that most of the information we have on the New Plague, comes from Bethesda, more specifically, from the DLC “Point Lookout”. It seems, Black Isle was more interested in FEV and what little they said about the disease, was included into the Fallout Bible. The symptoms though? That’s Bethesda. They’re the ones who described the illness and put the Disaster Relief Outpost in Point Lookout. They seem to be at least somewhat interested in the topic, and maybe more than that - it is even hypothesized that the swampfolk they created is the result of incest, radiation and a mutated strain of the New Plague. The disease might even still be there, in Point Lookout. And that’s not very far away from the Capital Wasteland.

Point is: Bethesda fleshed out the New Plague in Fallout 3. Described its symptoms for the first time. And then gave very similar symptoms to a boy who happens to be the son of their own character from the previous game. That looks incredibly suspicious to me. It still does, even if we don’t take Bethesda into account.

So. As a conclusion, we have: an area full of people that might have been affected by the New Plague, a case that looks like the New Plague in the Capital Wasteland and one in the Commonwealth (which means that the virus is spreading), and no medical care.

Words cannot describe how much I hope that Bethesda is going to do something with that.