i am pig

Unpopular opinion time
  • Cisgender people aren’t automatically transphobic just because they’re cis.
  • White people aren’t automatically racist because they’re white.
  • Men aren’t automatically misogynistic, rapists or abusers, just because they’re men.
  • Everyone can be racist to everyone else of a different race. Reverse racism doesn’t exist, it’s just racism, everyone is capable of it.
  • Anyone who lies about rape accusations should receive prison time.
  • Everyone is entitled to a proper course of justice in the court of law.
  • Transgender men should be put in men’s prisons, transgender women should be put in women’s prisons.
  • Women can be abusive to their partners. Do not automatically victimise women or say “this motive means that the man deserved it” are you fucked in the head?
  • People who are incapable of looking after their child should not receive custody over the other parent.
  • Feminism is great. Everyone deserves equality, and the proper precautions should be put in place at demonstrations. However, extreme feminism is not great. It gives feminism a bad name. If you go out there shouting “MEN ARE PIGS!” “MEN DESERVE TO DIE!” and all that bullshit, you’re a fucking moron.
  • Transpecies and transrace are not things. You cannot be cat, or a horse or a fucking bunny rabbit. You cannot be black, or Asian or anything else to the race you were born. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Go ahead and call me transphobic (even though I’m not)
  • The amount of genders and sexualities that Tumblr is creating is fucking ridiculous. “Angeligender– A gender found only among angels, that is hard to describe to non-angels. For godkin and angelkin only.” “Lichtgender- A gender represented by a ball of light.” “Zodiacgender– A catch-all gender term that is used to describe when one’s gender is related to a (or their specific) zodiac sign.” I’m sorry, what?? What the fuck? No.
  • There is not 76 fucking genders. Fuck off.
  • If you are transgender male and deliberately present as female, or transgender female and deliberately present as male, and then complain that someone misgendered you, that’s your fault, nobody else’s.
  • NON-BINARY, GENDERFLUID AND AGENDER PEOPLE ARE ENTITLED TO HAVE THEY/THEM PRONOUNS USED TO IDENTIFY THEM.
  • If you are 13 and your boyfriend is 20, I’m sorry, but he’s a paedophile. “Age is just a number” yeah, then prison is just a room.
  • Stalking celebrities to a point where you find out where they live is NOT okay. Stop being a creepy little weirdo and play outside or some shit.
  • You are not edgy because you hate people. You are not edgy for self-diagnosing mental health issues. You are not edgy for self-diagnosing other medical issues. You’re a twat.
❝30 texts to send to my muse:❞ | Sentence Starter

Warning(s): Alcohol

  1. [ text ]: I woke up to a half empty bottle of cider on my dresser. I drank it and have no regrets. Morning.
  2. [ text ]: I’d ask why there’s pictures of Kayne West all over my bedroom floor but I don’t actually want an answer at this point.
  3. [ text ]: I can hear your life falling apart through the ceiling.  Shut up.
  4. [ text ]: I just googled ‘Rarest Pepe’ and I’m crying.
  5. [ text ]: I just brought the Spice Girls Greatest Hits.
  6. [ text ]: I’ve had nothing to do all day so I’ve been learning the lyrics to ‘Trap Queen’.
  7. [ text ]: Be proud of drunk me. I managed to only eat HALF of a large pizza this time.
  8. [ text ]: We all got really drunk and communally agreed Bucky Barnes was a ‘cute little button babe’.
  9. [ text ]: What a massive egotistical penis.
  10. [ text ]: Does today require people clothes or can I just wear my pyjamas?
  11. [ text ]: I’m certain he heard me shout and LOUDLY ‘nap time comes before pants time’.
  12. [ text ]: I’m not responding to this because I have died. I’m dead. Dead people don’t answer texts.
  13. [ text ]: I think I’m going to retire and become a hermit.
  14. [ text ]: I want Lucky Charms.
  15. [ text ]: I’m not surprised he didn’t show up. He didn’t arrange it.
  16. [ text ]: I miss hugging you and smelling your hair (in a non-weird way!).
  17. [ text ]: Why are you saved in my phone as ‘Prison Wife’?
  18. [ text ]: I was in the middle of a check-up and the doctor quoted Jurrassic Park at me.
  19. [ text ]: I replaced your apple juice with whiskey six months ago.
  20. [ text ]: Why did you send me pictures of yourself dressed in all of my coats?
  21. [ text ]: I’ve watched so much Peppa Pig I am reaching my point of insanity.
  22. [ text ]: What a complete ball of Human-shaped trash.
  23. [ text ]: You need to stop shouting about Communism in public places.
  24. [ text ]: I was just legitimately asked if Human was a form of meat.
  25. [ text ]: The Devil has a British accent.
  26. [ text ]: You kept making train noises all night. Are you okay?
  27. [ text ]: I just brought some muscle cream and I smell like a herb garden.
  28. [ text ]: I think our neighbour may have gone rabid.
  29. [ text ]: I realise we were joking at the time but are you considering a stripping career?
  30. [ text ]: I don’t want to go out today. I’d rather wear wet socks all day.
Deciding Teams in the Glade
  • <p> <b>Newt:</b> Okay now only Y/N and Chuck at left to be picked.<p/><b>Minho:</b> I pick Chuck.<p/><b>Gally:</b> No wait I pick Chuck!<p/><b>Minho:</b> too bad, Chuck wants to be on my team right Chuckie?<p/><b>Chuck:</b> ummm<p/><b>Y/N:</b> Why does no one want me on their team? I always get picked last! And then I'm put on bench! It's not fair! Newt!!<p/><b>Newt:</b> I'm sorry love, I'm just a referee, you know I'd take you in my team.<p/><b>Gally:</b> It's because you're a weak sissy she-bean!<p/><b>Y/N:</b> I am NOT you sexist pig!<p/><b>Minho:</b> Yea Gally, let her prove her strength in your team!<p/><b>Y/N:</b> Min! You're supposed to be my friend!<p/><b>Minho:</b> ...Fine. you can be on my team<p/><b>Y/N:</b> Yay!<p/><b>Minho:</b> Only if you promise to flash when it's necessary though.<p/><b>Y/N:</b> *flings a tomato at him and walks off*<p/><b>Newt:</b> Minho, you're disqualified<p/><b>Minho:</b> Aww come on!<p/></p>
Staring

Originally posted by elvenking

Master List

“Y/n. You’re staring,” Thorin grumbles from your elbow and you look away from the bargeman. You were a human on the journey and although Thorin initially didn’t like you, he got used to your presence. Especially since you saved him alongside Bilbo.

“I do not stare,” you retort, eyes wandering over the ret of the company. You needed to make sure they were safe. Your eyes land on Kili as he flinches again. You make your way over to him, ignoring Thorin’s, “yeah, actually, you were leering. 

“Are you alright Kili?” you ask him, bending down to try and at least by at level with his wound. Fili and Oin had wrapped it pretty well, but you could still see blood streaming down. As an healer, you knew that this wound was poisoned.

“I’ll be fine, y/n. It seems like we can get across the lake,” he says, nodding behind you. You stand and see the rest making their way onto the barge. You follow behind after the brothers and reach the boat last.

As the boat leaves the shore, you make your way to the man. “It is a strange sight to see. A halfling, 13 dwarves and a human woman,” he says. “We did have a wizard with us, but we lost him a while back. I’m y/n,” you say, holding out your hand. “Bard,” he replies, taking it.

“Do you have kingsfoil?” you ask rather suddenly. “Not currently. We do however feed it to the pigs. I am sure we could find some there,” he replies, turning his attention back to the water.

“Why help us?” you ask again and he lets himself have a little smile. “Because it brings me much pleasure to help a beautiful woman such as yourself,” he replies and you immediately go red, clearing your throat as Thorin calls for you.

“Well, you’re not so bad yourself, Master Bargeman,” you say before walking away, earning a very big smile and pink dusted cheeks.

FOUR DAYS. FOUR GOD DAMN DAYS. FOUR DAYS AND IT’S STILL CRAPPY. XD ( Imma spam this with tags now…)

Honestly my inspiration came from @chloesimaginationthings‘s speedpaints… (sorry for the potential spam with this, and on your videos ;v; )

anonymous asked:

Can you write something where the bros and cor have an S/O who is a bit of an airhead? I'm a little self conscious because people say that I am ㅠ_ㅠ

Hey there Anon :) Of course I can- this one truly hits close to home because I’ve been called an airhead plenty of times as well! (It’s not our fault we get lost in our thoughts at the best of times T.T). I’m going to write these as small scenarios because I need to be in bed really soon xD Hope that’s okay! <3


Noctis: Truthfully, Noctis is a bit of an airhead himself. He’s actually happy that you have the same tendency to get lost in your own thoughts in any given situation- whether it be during your down time, or in the middle of doing something incredibly important. That’s not to say that he doesn’t scold you a little when you zone out during a battle, or any other equally life-threatening situation. When he notices that your eyes are glazed over on the battle field, he usually moves in towards you and pinches you really hard on the tender skin of your inner arm to snap you back to reality. The glare he shoots you as he retreats back into battle upsets you greatly, and you feel absolutely awful every time this happens- but in the heat of the moment, where every second counts, Noctis doesn’t really know how else to snap you out of your thoughts. Nor does he have the time to be gentle in his manner of coaxing you out of your own mind.

Once the imminent danger has passed, Noctis immediately scoops you up into his arms and apologises profusely. He’s usually not one for public displays of affection, but he ignores Gladio and Prompto’s wolf whistles and cat calls in the back ground as he clings to you and gently scolds you about your short attention span. “I love you too much to lose you- please, pay attention next time?” he begs you. You sniffle and snuggle into your concerned and scared prince’s chest and nod vigorously.

“Okay. I’ll do my best.”

A few hours later, you’re scolding Noctis about his own air-headedness after a particularly close call with a bunch of hundlegs, and holding the young prince while Ignis lectures his childhood friend about how unbecoming hypocrisy is of a future king. Meanwhile, Gladio and Prompto cackle in the background.


Prompto: Prompto finds your air-headedness adorable. He loves it when he catches you drifting off into space, your eyes glazing over and your breaths coming out in little sighs every once in a while. This sunshine boy is mostly happy to leave you to your own devices when you get this way, and takes PLENTY of pictures of you in this dazed state. You’re always none the wiser until you and the boys are settled at a camp site or hotel.

Noctis, Gladio, and even Ignis (!) have a good laugh at your far-off expressions caught on Prompto’s camera. You usually get really sensitive about their reactions and snatch your boyfriend’s camera out of his hands. You’re about to delete the pictures when Prompto tackles you down onto the bed your seated on, in view of all the guys, and kisses you silly- gently prying his precious camera out of your grip as you easily get lost in his sudden display of affection.

Prompto finally retracts his body off yours triumphantly, pressing a final lingering kiss on your cheek before placing his camera into one of his deeper pants pockets. “Sorry, I just love it when you look all dazed. You remind me of a sleepy baby chocobo!” Prompto tries to placate you. You sigh and pout, crossing your hands over your chest, and Prompto laughs a little as your gaze grows glazed and distant once again as you get lost in your own thoughts about Prompto’s obsession with your air-headedness.

You don’t even notice the guys’ voices reprimanding Prompto as he pulls his camera out to take a few more adoring shots of you in his favourite dazed state.


Gladio: Gladiolus Amicitia loves to tease you about your air-headedness while you’re all in the Regalia, headed to your next destination. It’s his favourite pass time. You absolutely hate it. He makes you feel so DUMB sometimes, when he reminds you of all the potentially fatal mistakes you’ve made out on the field.

“Hey, remember that time you threw me an ether instead of an antidote? THAT was pretty shocking, even for you!” Gladio laughs light-heartedly, but your eyes begin to brim with tears. You’re wedged between Noctis and Gladio in the back seat, and Ignis has a clear view of you in the rear-view mirror. He’s the first to notice the tears streaming down your face.

“Gladio.” Ignis reprimands. You sniffle particularly loudly, and that’s all it takes for your sometimes-obnoxious boyfriend to immediately turn his body towards you and guide your head to his warm, bare chest. Noctis sighs and merely pats your knee in sympathy- knowing full well how bad it feels to be the butt of Gladio’s jokes. He’s been called ‘puny’ while fishing too many times to count!

“Aw, babe- you know I think it’s cute that you’re such an airhead!” Gladio tries to console you. You whine in annoyance and swat Gladio’s chest, tears of frustration running down your cheeks. Gladio could be a complete ass sometimes… but, that’s something that makes him slightly more adorable in your eyes. His naivety knows no bounds.

“And I think it’s amazing how pig-headed you are!” you retaliate, after calming down a little. Your comment elicits a short, but loud laugh from Ignis. He immediately apologises, but his sudden outburst has both Noctis and Prompto clutching their bellies and laughing at the expense of a rather shocked looking Gladio.

“Hey! I am NOT pig-headed!”


Ignis: Ignis frowns at you as you both leave the Lestallum Leville’s bar together. You and the guys had been indulging in a night of alcohol induced fun during your down time, and the money all of you had saved collectively from the various hunts you’d all completed. Ignis cut himself off at two drinks, ever the responsible one. That, and he wasn’t happy with the way you unknowingly encouraged the less-than-innocent advances of other young men present at the bar that night.

Once you and Ignis are out in the humid night air of Lestallum, you turn to your boyfriend, eyes wide in concern. “Iggy? You don’t look so good- do you need to sit down?” you ask, genuine concern lacing your voice. Ignis’ frown deepens and he immediately rounds on you. You let out a short shriek at his sudden movement, having been semi-lost in your own thoughts about how you were going to take care of your boyfriend’s less-than-ideal looking health that evening.

Ignis grasps your forearms in his large and elegant bare hands, pinning you in place. You let your eyes wander to his piercing green orbs and you can’t help but gulp in slight trepidation. Ignis has never been so rough with you. You couldn’t help but feel both confused and enthralled at the slightly wild behaviour.

“Must you look upon every man with those hooded eyes? Do you even know what you’re doing, y/n?” Ignis chides, his gaze darkening as he leans his face closer to yours. You let out a short breath and shake your head, snapping yourself out of your momentary, yet frequently occurring, daze.

“W-what do you mean?” you stutter. Ignis shakes his head, his gaze softening as he pecks your lips gently with his own. Your eyes remain wide open and unblinking. You’re utterly confused. What is wrong with Ignis? Is he drunk?

“You really don’t have a clue… absolutely charming.” Ignis whispers, pulling you into a tender kiss before withdrawing and gently taking your hand. “I really do have to keep an eye on you if I want to keep you safe from the vultures.”

You just let Ignis drag you along, deciding for yourself in your mind that, yes, Ignis is probably drunk.

He is not.


Cor: When Cor first realises you tend to get lost in your own thoughts, he finds you absolutely infuriating on a professional level- given that you are part of the Crownsguard. But being the professional marshal of the Crownsguard that he is, he’s not going to fire you on your first day simply because you have some attention span issues. That, and you are his romantic partner. He does, however, make sure that all your practical assignments are completed under his exclusive supervision. He really doesn’t want to be liable for your death if you manage to space out during a life-or-death battle out on the field.

During these practical missions, Cor is not your boyfriend, he is your marshal. And he’s terribly harsh when you mess up. He berates you openly in front of your peers, and even they linger around while you try to stop your tears from slipping down your face to cheer you up. “Don’t worry- he’s just worried about you. Next time, pay attention and you won’t have to hear him go off at you again.”

But you can’t help it. Your mind races constantly at every little stimuli you come across. You see a tree, you think they look like giant pieces of broccoli. You see Cor, you can’t help but recall the feeling of his lips on your skin so many weeks ago… you want to feel his lips against yours again…

“Y/N- FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” you jump at the marshal’s extremely agitated voice, only to realise there’s a coeurl baring its fangs right at you, ready to pounce. You shoot at it immediately with your twin pistols, effectively shooting right through its eyes and into its skull. It’s an instant kill.

You’d usually be celebrating by now, but you can’t do a thing with Cor looking at you with THAT much fury in his steel blue eyes. Your eyes immediately tear up and you can’t control your sniffles and sobs this time. Your peers all scatter, feeling uncomfortable in both yours and Cor’s presence.

Cor steps forward, not relenting in his berating the slightest at the sight of your tears. “How many TIMES do I have to tell you? Pay attention!”

“Yes sir. I’m sorry sir,” you choke out. Cor’s gaze softens slightly at the shaky tone of your voice.

“Do I have to leave you at the Citadel next time? You know you’ll be demoted if things come down to that, y/n.” Cor warns you, stepping closer- his voice stern.

You nod, unable to answer him verbally as your shoulders begin to shudder uncontrollably.

You suddenly find yourself pulled into Cor’s warm chest, his strong arms encircling your frame and pulling you flush against his body. “I can’t take my eyes off you one moment before you go and find yourself in trouble, can I?” he murmurs into your hair, pressing a kiss onto your head. This tender act makes you cry harder.

“I-I’m sorry!” you cry out, burying yourself into his warmth. Cor sighs and nuzzles your soft hair.

“Don’t apologise, just pay attention long enough to stay alive and by my side, alright?”

You nod, squeezing your eyes shut out of guilt, and Cor presses yet another tender kiss on the crown of your head and holds you until your tears cease to fall.

ID #36883

Name: Maddison
Age: 17 (Nearly 18)
Country: New Zealand

Hey, I’m Maddison & I’m 17 ( 18 soon) and from a little country named New Zealand! I would love to have a pen pal, either snail mail or email from somewhere different (I’d still like to talk with you if you are from New Zealand). A few things about me is that, I’ve finished high school and taking a gap year because I haven’t decided what I want to study, I have a huge love towards animals (I have 2 cats, 4 dogs and 2 guinea pigs. Looking at getting rabbits next :) I live in a pretty windy and cold part of New Zealand, so I don’t do very well in heat, although that won’t stop me when I’m traveling!. I do like being outside, camping is my absolute favourite!, I love reading, don’t think I could give you a favourite book if I tried, really into DIY and art. I love learning about history and secretly wish I was born in a different era. I don’t like being in the water (I can’t swim haha).
I’m really into music, a few bands I really like are, Ocean Alley, Fleetwood Mac, Black Sabbath, Queen, Guns n Roses, AC/DC, Dorothy, The Temptations and so many more! If you’d like, please recommend me some of your favourite songs! I don’t really watch alot of tv but I do have a few favourite shows, Shameless, OITNB, Stranger Things, Santa Clarita Diet. I’d be happy to add more to my list though, so tell me what you really enjoy! I think that’s it, I don’t want to ramble on too much. I look forward to hearing from you!

Preferences: I don’t have any age preferences, but I would like to talk with people who are opened minded about anything. :)

3

My kind of aesthetic, Taekook’s body differences. Dem shoulders, peck and arms doe jeon jungkook.