i am now complete

8

Musical Theatre Challenge: [1/1] favorite number
↳ For Good (Wicked)

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I’ve done
You blame me for


But then, I guess
We know there’s blame to share


And none of it seems to matter
Anymore

[said while barely holding back tears] honestly this is fine and i am completely unaffected right now, currently, as we speak

some people make me feel so worthless, it hurts sometimes, I just wish to sleep for over a week without dealing with anything.

anonymous asked:

Random reminder that I remember you.

Nonnie, listen, I know this was meant as a message for me but I can’t help but think about Stiles being forgotten by everyone. Everyone except Derek who called Scott after a nightmare to check up on everyone and is more than a little concerned to be met with who? when he finally plucks up the courage to ask how Stiles is. 

And so, somehow, he finds a way to send messages to Stiles in that dark, lonely place. He doesn’t actually know he’s sending them but when he dreams, he dreams of Stiles. Sees him, trapped and scared and vulnerable - although he can never reach him, no matter how fast he runs. Instead, he pictures himself writing messages on walls, on the inside of books, on discarded pieces of paper; all in the hopes Stiles might see them. 

All the same message: I remember you.

Stiles begins to see them everywhere. They give him hope, hope he’s not lost. Hope that he’s not so easily forgotten as he had always feared, even before he fell down this rabbit hole. And yeah, he doesn’t know it’s Derek. Maybe it’s a trick, or maybe it’s his dad or Scott, but there is something, something, he can feel; something that boils his blood and soothes it in the same breath, and it reminds him so badly of Derek that he shakes with it, remembering the day Derek left. Remembering that night, when Derek slid through his bedroom window, still not gone (knocking first, Stiles noted fondly at the time) and hugged him. Just….hugged him. Tight.

Then, one night, Stiles catches the words being written on a door. He runs to it, tries desperately to grab the phantom hand writing as it goes along but he can’t and he wants to scream because the hand is warm but he can’t touch it, can’t even really feel it, but it’s there and it’s real and when he starts to cry, pushing his head against the door, the hand lingers long after it’s finished writing. 

Meanwhile, back in his old loft, Derek dreams of the boy he reluctantly came to care about; tries to hold him - can’t see him or feel him but he can smell him. Stiles’ scent calls to him in a way not even Cora’s does, in a way Laura’s never did. It’s only then Derek realises, waking with a jolt, that Stiles isn’t just his anchor; isn’t just some endearing asshole who confuses him to no end, who makes him want to bare his teeth and throat at the same time, but something more.

And there, lying in his old bed covered in sweat and regret after regret, feeling utterly helpless, Derek whines for his mate.  

5

Season 2 angst ideas: Viktor overworks himself between both coaching and competing and winds up with a career-ending injury. Viktor doesn’t mind too much, he’s just worried about Yuuri. Yuuri feels responsible but tries not to drown in guilt until he wins gold because he feels he owes Viktor that much.

bloom

okay, i’ve never posted this video on my tumblr, but right now is as good as anytime. this was back in early February i believe.
-
STORYTIME.

Okay so, apparently Diggs was in my city (Vegas) for a conference and stayed at the hotel that my dad works at - the Bellagio.
Now, my dad is a mini bar attendant there, which means he goes up to rooms and checks on alcohol, coffee, etc.
So he’s called up to this vacant room, and the person says “Come in !!”
And so he walks in, and he told the guy that he was just here to check on his alcohol and coffee. The guy goes “That’s fine, just give me a sec !” (or something like that)
And so while my dad was checking everything, the guy comes out, just buckling up his pants because he just finished taking a shower (can you IMAGINE - seeing him shirtless. IN THE FLESH. my dad said he’s still ripped. i mean. duh. when isn’t he ?¿ he better not stop being ripped tbh. oh wait, back to the stORY,,)
So my dad turns around.
Then the guy turns around.
Then gives him a smile.
Mind you, my dad’s also a fan of Diggs and Rafa, so he had to take a double take to realize that THIS was the dude.
Then my dad goes, “Hey, you’re Daveed Diggs !”
And then Daveed goes, “Yeah, man !” with THAT bright, big smile on his face (YOU KNOW THE ONE.)
Now, Daveed (and some of the obc probably) doesn’t really like to talk about Hamilton (which is understandable, I relate), so BLESS that my dad said “Yeah, my daughter’s a real big fan of you and Rafael’s music !” because then my dad told me that his eyes LIT. UP.
I would’ve died there.
And my dad told him that I’m corresponding with Rafa on some stuff and he tried to pull up my cover of his song, “Needle”, which was the first track that he emailed me so that I could cover it.
It couldn’t load, but nonetheless, now he knows I can sing (and hopefully soon, knows I rap), and that’s more than enough.
Now, at his work, whenever you come into contact with someone famous, you can’t get take a picture or a video with them, because then you could be in trouble.
But my dad also knew how much this meant to me.
So he decided ‘fuck it’ and asked Daveed if he could take a video or picture with him.
Daveed, being the sweet and nice person he is, said “Yeah, of course ! Let me just get a shirt on real quick” (oh, daveed. I’d still be happy even if you didn’t have your shirt on haha.)
((bonus ; Daveed told my dad that he told Rafa and everyone to come to Vegas but they couldn’t. My dad said “Could you imagine if I got them in the same video ?? How cool would that be ???”))
-
so yeah. there’s the story of how i died one day because of THE Daveed Diggs.
s/o to Diggs, and to my dad, for being the realest and taking one for the team.
i’ve always wondered what my name would sound like if Daveed said it. AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW.
i’m asking my friend to make the “Jazzy, what’s up ??” part into my ringtone.
i’m still so shook.
i’m never coming off of this high.

im so exhausted that someone’s gonna need to use the Necronomicon to get me up tomorrow

anonymous asked:

Hey! Do you have any photos of your Dan and Phil charms + pins to show us? (my parents think you might scam us and want proof of the pins..)

I will only be able to show the proof of the charms+pins after pre-order period.
Its pre-order because thats when the merchandise is being manufactured.
I am hoping to get everything by the end of the month!
Here is a photo of my previous batch!

*note* THE PHOTO IS FROM THE PREVIOUS BATCH
the size is different now and same goes for the charm holder!
(the only design available now is the bottom right corner)
here is my storenvy to pre-order charms!

2

[11/100 days of productivity]

I am done with 273 cards for my final which is on Monday! I’ve already gone through 80% of it and I’m gonna ace it!

Feels like I improved myself in comparison to me two weeks ago. But on the other hand I know that I’d been more productive. Mixed feelings: I am better, but not good enough. Success and depression lol.
That means only one: keep going!

I changed my table’s location and now I am completely satisfied with my place <3

I also got a forest app today. Add me if you want: idocerra@gmail.com

Hopefully I won’t forget about this app as I paid for it.

hello there!! have you been doing well, angel? if not, this is a gentle but firm reminder to get your shit together. but hey, why shouldn’t you be proud of yourself? you have conquered so many years of your life and - no don’t you dare try to be modest, every single tiny achievement matters. + I’m here to tell you that failing is NORMAL. everyone fails at one thing or another but succeed at another. And if you feel that you aren’t successful at anything, then darling you haven’t tried hard enough.
alright alright, before I begin ranting out of the topic, let’s get started.

note: this is a part of the get your shit together masterposts. To view the other articles in this category and to view the topics in this that I’ll be covering in future, go here.


avoiding negative feelings

the biggest reason why I don’t have that many negative thoughts (note that I said “many” and not all. I too have bad days once  in a while) now because I realized that I, and only I, am completely on my side. I’m there for me at all times, throughout my life. And doesn’t it sound stupid to be against the only player on my team?

once i realized that, it become so much easier to work at par with myself and to love myself. I became more patient with myself, started embracing my flaws and loving the person that I was. sounds pretty cringy? that’s only because we don’t talk about these things and we feel they aren’t worth talking about. However if you really want to conquer life, loving yourself is the most important layer in this many layered cheesecake and yes, i like food.

cheat code: so how do avoid negative feelings? the answer lies in realizing your worth and capabilities and being on the same team as your own self.


dealing with negative feelings

now we come to the part when you are having negative feelings. Everyone has bad days and negative feelings but you can deal with ‘em in a better way than feeling low and wasting your entire day. and here’s way number one -

figure out what triggered you. when I have a bad day I sit down and list down what exactly provocated the bad day. these were my reasons -

  • someone said I was being annoying
  • I didn’t get much done that day
  • I felt gross and untidy

then, find solutions to those problems.

  • hey, everyone don’t have to like you. you are proud of yourself and that’s enough.
  • Make a list. Do those things. I don’t care if you’re tired, do those things. If you don’t do them, you’ll feel guilty and that’s never fun.
  • god, just go take a shower again. (taylor, you stink.)

as you see, the problems were really petty and solutions are pretty simple. but remember that these problems aren’t negligible. this method works bc once you figure out solutions to them, you figure out a method how to fight them so that the same problems to affect you again. Now I know that when I feel gross I need to take a shower and not roam around like a stinky animal. See what I mean?

lastly, realize that these things are not worth you losing control of yourself and walking around like a dead zombie #rip.

sometimes I have negative feelings because I feel under confident or not sure about something. when this happens, which leads me to way number two - I have a convo with myself.

ok mate, why do you feel down? um I don’t feel sure about this presentation. what if I screw this up? what if the teacher is like this is so shit?? what if I never get to eat donuts again???

seriously? well, I can assure you that donuts aren’t going extinct. as for this interview, listen child. you have prepared for this shit, you can do it. doN’T freak out and don’t think you can’t ace this. you can, trust me.

talking to myself not only helps calm me down but also gives me a sense of purpose. That I have promised myself to ace this and I cannot let myself down. 


loving yourself

  • understanding why

why should you love yourself?

bc you yourself crave the feeling to be loved. isn’t being in love simply magical? Well, so is being in love with yourself. it is even more magical tbh. this is bc you are with yourself 24/7 and when you start loving yourself you become much more aware of yourself and you have able to work much better since you are able to identify your flaws and strengths. Remember when you used to bitch about that girl on whom every guy had a crush and you none? (same fam #LongLiveTheHobos) Turns out that someone does have a huge crush on you. Love yourself, your brain craves for you.

  • take yourself out on dates

raise your hand if you think dates are great. I agree. They are even better when you go out to a restaurant bc like food is great. it is super important that you take your own self out of dates and not only bc you are hungry but bc a conqueror (yAS THOSE ARE MY PEOPLE) knows the value of taking time off for himself. These are not simply slogging through the weekend and binge watching Netflix, mind you. That’s a huge waste of time, froind. A conqueror makes a date official. cheat code: remember that your dates have to be memorable and most importantly, well earned. Here’s a checklist to make your dates more special.

  • positive energy, check.
  • more smiles and hugs, check.
  • a happy mindset, check.
  • and how about a list of things that you can do for yourself?

the turn a bad day around challenge

here’s the first challenge of the get your shit together series! I introduced this bc readers said that the topics on here were easy to say but harder to carry out.I do agree with that but hey, I never said that getting your shit together would be easy. by completing the challenges you can implement the ideas I’m trying to propagate here and also get a feel of having that particular area under your control.

  • task one: when you are having a bad day, sit down. list down the reasons why it was a bad day and why are you feel down. it can be as simple as not getting enough sleep and feeling grumpy.
  • task two: list down the solutions that you can use to overcome those problems.
  • task three: remind yourself that these petty problems cannot cost you your valuable time and that you are a badass bitch and you can handle everything.
  • task four: make a to-do list. I know you haven’t done no shit today so now is the time to shine. don’t put like a thousand things on the list tho lmao. three - four would do enough for the moment.
  • task five: do those things. seriously, do them.
  • task six: (and this is the nicest one) treat yo'self!! you have literally turned around a bad day and done so much shit! you have successfully conquered this day, a day which would have been spent lamenting and getting nothing done. maybe go treat yourself to some delicious pumpkin pie from a bakery (share with me pls); you really do deserve it!! I’m so proud of you :^)

and that’s it, it’s a wrap! if you have any questions/suggestions regarding anything I said up there (or maybe you just wanna talk about food), feel free to send in a message! my other masterposts are here and to request a masterpost, leave your question in my ask box!

I hope you all are well, stay safe and conquer life, you amaze conqueror :“)