i am not the greatest writer in the world as you can probably tell

8

THAT GENITAL IS A SPY

~

Some time ago I had a thought that what if Pyro stuffs soft toys in their boiler suit for whatever reason, maybe to hide their lines, to “feel safe” or something. And—because I love Texas Toast—at some point Engie and Pyro are going to do the do for the first time but being so excited and nervous Pyro forgets to put the toys away.

Then these happened. :’>

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First of all…. I can’t tell if they are joking/trolling/being sarcastic…? So I’m going to answer as though they are serious because it got me riled up. Fight me.

M’kay… In what world are Ian and Mickey bad for each other? Was it when Ian and Mickey provided each other with someone to talk to? They provide each other with someone to talk to and be completely open with because Ian is mostly ignored at home or he talks to Lip (and sometimes, let’s face it, we don’t want to talk to a sibling we want to talk to someone outside) and Mickey meanwhile probably has no one to truly confide in because all of his brothers he likely assumed were Terry clones and would rat him out if he ever dropped a hint that he was gay and so was too scared shitless to talk to anyone about anything. 

How about when they became best friends? When Ian became the one person Mickey could 100% be himself around? When they each became so concerned with each other that they constantly nagged friends and family about how the other was doing while trying to be lowkey about it because it’s the southside and they live around too many homophobes? When they each accepted each other 100% for who the other is?

Were they toxic when Mickey helped Ian through his bipolar diagnosis and didn’t judge him or belittle him for the depression, mania, or how he was after being sedated? He never mocked him for being in a psych ward or attacked Ian for cheating on him because he understood that it was the disease and even defended him! They genuinely worried over each other like a married couple in season 5 and showed the greatest combination of best friend love and romantic/sexual love I’ve personally ever seen on TV (I don’t watch a lot of TV so it’s not saying tooooo much but it’s just breathtaking nonetheless). When Ian tried to talk to Mickey and make sure he was okay after he was raped for being with Ian in season 3? 

Were they toxic when Mickey picked Ian’s coked out ass up from the club and saved him from yet another pervy old man taking advantage of him and encouraging him to go home or when Ian helped Mickey fight Terry back after Mickey came out? How about when Ian helped Mickey accept his son, leading by example and embracing Yevgeny as his own?

Let’s get one thing straight here: If anyone was toxic in the relationship–it was Ian and even so his toxicity is mostly due to his illness. Any disregard he apparently showed Mickey was due to his being sedated, depressed, or medicated. Even still, Mickey was the one who would always throw himself in harms way to defend Ian (a la 3x666) and would do anything for Ian, even something dangerous and something he isn’t completely ready for like coming out. And most of the things Ian gets blamed for so frequently is just him trying to do what he thinks is best or is a result of his bipolar disorder. So as a fictional character I forgive him for these faults.

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Let’s talk Diana.

People get so riled up over their Best Girls and here I am just shoving more fire into the fire. Gyahahaha!

But that’s not really what this is about. Let’s talk Diana. Because I want to talk Diana.

Her type is always set up to be the haughty snob at first glance.

That’s so fucking good and you know why?

So they can take your first impressions and slap you across the face with them.

Yes, she’s arrogant, self-righteous, a bit pompous and can be quite condescending to those who are less adept than she is. But that’s exactly what makes her so interesting because none of those negative traits can be called shallow and the events in this episode back that up.

Also, it’s pretty clear that she doesn’t exist solely to antagonize the MC over trivial things (for example, elite status) and can definitely hold her own story without being an outright nemesis to the heroine.

That’s what makes her worthy of attention but in a different way than how the central focus is on Akko and her friends.

Already we can blatantly see her flaws which only serve to highlight how complex she is and foretell the character development she will probably undergo throughout the course of the show. Those qualities don’t really harm her or make her intolerable but rather point to the depth and potential expansion of her character.

I mean, firstly, all that composure and confidence had to come from somewhere and voila, they tell us from the get-go.

Diana is descended from a long (damn, 1,500 years long!) line of witches. That means she inherits a big legacy of magical discipline and prestige. Considering the fact that even adult witches sometimes have trouble with certain magic, Diana has even more expectations to live up to because she comes from a highly esteemed family that’s been practicing and improving magic for many, many generations.

Not to mention, she’s been proclaimed in the community as being the “greatest witch since the founding of Luna Nova” so no doubt it’ll be an even greater challenge for her to go beyond what those before her had accomplished.

And not only does she step up to this very daunting task, displaying her skill and talent again and again by casting high level spells here and there and proving that she really is as brilliant as they say she is…

…but she does so without needing anyone’s validation.

As much as her posse endlessly praise her for how awesome and amazing she is, Diana doesn’t need those extra words because she knows she’s perfectly capable of handling anything that comes her way.

That’s not to say she doesn’t let their attention get to her head (c’mon, this definitely happened at one point and is likely still happening, albeit in controlled amounts, as we speak) but Diana is deserving of her pride because she worked hard to cultivate her powers, not because she is a genius.

She’s not good because it’s a “miracle”. She’s good because she earned it.

And there’s no shame in showing that.

However, it’s true that Diana still needs to learn what it means to be humble and realize that she hasn’t mastered everything there is to know about magic yet.

I mean, it’s apparent that she overestimates her own abilities but that’s fine because like I said earlier, she’s set up for that kind of development in the future.

At the very least, even though she’s smug, she isn’t crass. Not like her two “friends” who like to put others down to get the pleasure of feeling superior. That’s probably the biggest reason why they hang around Diana and it just makes me like Diana even more because a person like her would never need to stoop down to their level.

Adding to that, this scene here further proves that Diana is, in fact, not a jerk.

Snooty, yes. But a bitch? Mmm, no, I don’t think so. Not from what we’ve seen of her so far anyway.

It’d be so easy for the writers to turn Diana into a Draco Malfoy-like adversary to oppose Akko but they didn’t. Which is why I love Trigger tremendously for how they presented her character and why I sometimes refer to Diana as the “Draco I always wanted”.

That Diana approached Akko to correct her views on what magic is, not harshly but in a matter-of-factly and politely manner. That she didn’t care whether Akko knew who she was or not but actually remembered that Akko was the new student. That she even took up the offer of referring to Akko by her nickname despite not being friends with her (though that might be due to the concept of keigo getting lost in transition to a non-Japanese environment).

All this is more than enough evidence to crush any ideas that she’s out to bully Akko. It tells us that even if Diana may not be the most amiable person in the world, she is a decent one.

I mean, yea, she was slightly cruel here for disparaging Akko’s idol right in front of her (and hypocritical since Diana was also a fan when she was younger) but it’s not like what she said isn’t true.

Chariot was mostly known for her flashy performances but that seemed to be the extent of her influence in both the witch and human realms. Then she upped one day and vanished.

Chariot did give Akko a dream but it was a kid’s dream and that is not practical in the reality of magic, which entails a lot more complicated topics and study if you are to become a successful witch. Even Chariot had to have gone through tons of practice in order to be as good as she was on stage.

Point is, Diana was trying to warn Akko for her own good even though she didn’t go about the best way of doing it.

It’s certainly one thing for Chariot to do impressive magic but it’s another thing entirely for Akko to attempt to do the same.

Because unlike most of the other students there, Akko has no magical background. She entered the academy with the hopes of living out her fantasies. How is someone who has a low affinity for magic and so impatient to start shooting shiny spells left and right going to fare if she doesn’t learn to apply the basics first?

Badly. Akko or someone else can get seriously hurt if she meddles in things she doesn’t truly comprehend.

That’s why Diana flat out laid this caution onto her. Because magic isn’t all fun and games and lights in the sky. Magic, in the witches’ world, is serious business. And if Akko doesn’t get that through her head to fit somewhere among her fervent adoration for Chariot, then her dream of learning magic will end in vain, the Shiny Rod reacting to her “shinjiru kokoro” be damned.

And that’s… oddly thoughtful of Diana? And responsible as an advanced student as well?

In the same sort of roundabout way she helped plucked that plant off of Akko’s head while trying to show her how magic is actually done in their world. So that Akko is aware, like really aware, of what she’s invested herself in and what the consequences are if she neglects the rules.

Clearly, they’re going to continue to clash over the interpretation of magic but when it comes down to what are established foundations and such, I’m always going to be more inclined towards Diana’s side of the argument.

Because it’s always more reliable to work off of sound theories that have been tested and tested again and provided actual results… than to wait for something that may or may not happen because you went about it based on a whim.

I’m not saying it’s wrong for Akko to believe. I’m just saying this isn’t a mahou shoujo anime. :P

Ah, I strayed off a bit so back to the rest of what I wanted to say.

If the scene in the courtyard wasn’t enough to convince you that Diana isn’t just showing off her magical prowess (because admittedly, yes, she is a bit of a show-off, too, there’s no denying that) then the issue with the Memorial Tree should.

Like any dedicated honors student, it’s expected that Diana would be very involved in the workings of the school. Because the academy is part of her lineage as much as any other witch’s out there so even if nobody asked her to help, she’d still try to find a way to solve the problems the school faces.

Because responsibility.

Diana has been gifted with talent and intellect. If there is anytime to use those, it’s now. Otherwise, it’d be wasted on her.

It’s no wonder why she’s so admired in the witch community. Because she does useful stuff with her magic. And efficiently, too.

Unlike Akko who doesn’t have any particular or specific goals regarding what she wants to do with magic atm, Diana actually has a purpose for hers.

And really, we don’t need to say anymore than that. If you’re good at something, then do something with it. That’s the lesson here. It’s just that simple.

Moving along, what happened after Diana’s spell was cast only further supports just how responsible she is.

Her magic unearthed the parasites so what does she do? Act immediately to counter the new problem.

I really, really like that about her. How she takes magic so seriously, especially when her own magic added to the dilemma. Most people would wait for a teacher to come to fix it. Lesser people would run away because they don’t want to be held accountable.

Not Diana. She’s the one that caused it, even if it was out of the best intentions, so she has to own up to it.

Again, responsibility.

And then there’s this part.

A reminder that nobody (besides Ursula) could’ve known that those were Papillodya chrysalises (well duh, no one has seen one because they only appear every 120 years after all) and it was just a very plot-convenient coincidence that Akko happened to guess correctly at what they are right after relooking through her collectable cards that day.

That aside, nobody is in the wrong here. Diana was pressed for time so it wasn’t like she had the leisure of hearing Akko out. Honestly, who would in that sort of situation? Moreover, who would really believe her?

But she still expressed shock and worry when Akko took the brunt of her spell. Even though it was Akko’s own fault for not thinking first and jumping out to block the hit, Diana obviously feels bad that her magic still hurt her.

Again, proof that Diana is not a jerk. She does care because she is a decent person.

And when it came down to using the right spell, Diana took a step back to let Akko handle it.

What’s more is that she aided Akko in the proper pronunciation of the spell and Akko thanked Diana.

Quite often you’d expect the prideful characters to want to do everything themselves. Try to butt out their rivals and prove they’re better that sort of thing because that’s the pattern of behavior for those kind of archetypes.

Except that didn’t happen here. Like not even the tiniest suggestion that it could’ve gone that way.

Diana’s got her priorities straight. She’s not thinking of wanting to claim credit or how it will affect her sense of worth if she allowed Akko to resolve this issue. She’s not thinking of questioning whether the Shiny Rod will actually work. That’s not important. What’s important is to prevent this mess from becoming any bigger than it is right then.

Like…wow. It shouldn’t be extraordinary for someone to behave so rationally and cooperatively but it is a little for me because the works I go through often has that bad tendency to go in a crazier direction over some very dumb, contrived reason when it’d be easier to do it the straightforward way.

Anyways, to finish this off, after the matter is settled, Diana tries to protest that the removal of the chrysalises were her doing.

Again, a much lesser person would be tempted to lie and save their own reputation but Diana’s troubled reaction to the staff’s insistence that nobody else but her could’ve done it illustrates that she’s not like that. She knows that it was thanks to Akko that the tree was revitalized and therefore, can’t possibly accept acknowledgement that doesn’t belong to her.

Diana is a person of integrity and if I didn’t love her before, I certainly do now because I value integrity so much that it probably ranks at the top on my list of virtues.

So as you can see, it’s because Diana is such a mixture of so many traits including pride, dignity, responsibility, seriousness, honesty (to name a few) that they all come to nicely clash and conflict inside her, pushing her towards the changes we can anticipate for her.

And this is a sure sign as anything that the development process has already begun.

She saw with her own eyes the effectiveness of the Shiny Rod, which disproves her statement that there never was any significance behind Chariot’s magic. However, that doesn’t mean she’s ready to accept it. Not after all that training she must have gone through to drill those childish thoughts out of her head so that she can fully set out to become a proper witch. Which is why she’s hesitant to mention Akko despite what the professors say about her being the “pride of Luna Nova”.

That is sooooo good, this introduction of doubt. Question it, Diana. Continue to ask as many times as it will take because it can only lead you to becoming a better witch and above all, develop into an even greater character.

With that, I suspect Diana won’t be making any major appearances for a while since Akko’s team has a little more world exploring to do and the plot around Chariot needs the time for more exposition.

But I just want others to, well, not really know but rather discuss with me that Diana isn’t so much a rival to Akko (right now) as she is her foil and vice versa. And I think that contrast between them is far more interesting than a direct competitive relationship. They can still argue, they don’t have to be friends but they don’t have to hate each other to contribute to each other’s growth. Akko can benefit from actually studying magical theory and progressing towards her goal that way while Diana can gradually relax her stiff posture to look beyond her scientific, analytical methods and realize even more potential in herself.

At least that’s what I hope will happen.

Tl;dr: I lied. This is about Best Girl. Diana is Best Girl. Fight me. (ง'̀-‘́)ง

So… I was thinking about how we know Magnus and Alec do talk about their lives and past. How we know Alec has talked about his parents to Magnus, and how we know Magnus has told Alec about his mother prior to the last episode.

I wish we had seen those things happening. Maybe then some people would stop with the nonsensical “they don’t talk, they don’t act like a couple” bullshit. “Show, don’t tell” and all that.

I would be really happy to see those moments. I was thinking about that when I remembered I am a writer. A fanfic writer. So I wrote those moments. 

This little drabble is set between episodes 2.06 and 2.07. I don’t care what you think, in my head a week passed between those episodes and this totally happened.


Alec drifted at the pool, staring at the blue sky. Underwater, he could only hear the sound of his heartbeat. For the first time in weeks, it wasn’t racing. No, Alec was calm. It was a lovely day, warm and windy. Perfect for going swimming.

Especially if you were going swimming in Dubai, at the top of the most luxurious hotel he had ever seen.

Truth be told, moments like that one were what made the coin drop. Objectively, Alec knew he was the luckiest person in the world. To be Magnus’ Bane boyfriend was probably one of the greatest achievements Alec would do in his lifetime. However, it was a different thing to experience that privilege. Every time Alec thought about, actively thought about, he couldn’t help to feel in awe with the turn his life has taken.

If he ever got to be appointed as Head of the Institute, then Alec could consider his life complete. That was it, he’d won.

But until then, he would enjoy these little dates with Magnus. Alec still felt a little weird to portal to the other side of the world in order to have some peace time with his boyfriend, but more and more he understood why Magnus liked to do it. It wasn’t about the places, even though they were amazing enough by themselves. It was about being just the two of them, away from problems or other people.

So when Magnus suggested that they spent a day in Dubai, Alec said yes. It had been the right call. With everything that had been happening, they could both use a short vacation from time to time. And one that didn’t involve Jace walking in on them.

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Blade Runner 2049

Ridley Scott’s 1982 sci-fi classic Blade Runner has been considered by all to be a one of the greatest films ever put to screen. The film follows Rick Deckard, played by Harrison Ford, a retired police officer (Blade Runner) living in futuristic Los Angeles 2019. Deckard is called in once again to “retire” a group of rogue replicants, led by Roy Batty (Rutger Hauer), who have escaped their slave labor from the Off- World colonies. Through the film Deckard meets Rachael (Sean Young), a replicant who is unaware of what she is, who shows Deckard another side to replicants that causes him to question his mission.

When first released Blade Runner was a critical and box office bomb, but over time it has been heralded as a masterpiece, a true indication of a film being way ahead of its time.  As a film student it almost sounds cliché to love this film and call it a masterpiece because it is such a flawed film. There currently exist seven different versions of Blade Runner which is why the film has been so divisive over the years. The final cut released in 2007 was what changed the minds of critics and audience members everywhere. The removal of the voice over and the “happy ending” and the inclusion of the unicorn scene have formed the work of art we witness today.

As far as my thoughts on Blade Runner, well, you just read them. I saw Blade Runner (the director’s cut) during some time in middle school, old enough to understand but not wise enough to get it. When I first saw it I really enjoyed it mostly because I love Harrison Ford and will watch just about anything he’s in. I’ve always had an adoration to science fiction as well; so on my first viewing I already called it a masterpiece, visually. I never understood the subtext and why it was truly regarded as a masterpiece until I saw the final cut. This version allowed for a cleaner way to tell the story and present the age old question: Is Deckard a replicant? After watching that version I have been obsessed with this film; I own every version of Blade Runner, even though I only watch the final cut, I read countless articles almost daily about the themes and various techniques presented in Blade Runner, and even my senior sweatshirt has the nickname “BLADE RUNNER” printed on the back. I hate being asked what my favorite film is and I always respond with “I haven’t experienced enough film to have a favorite” but if I honestly had to choose my answer would probably have to be Blade Runner. It always seemed like the perfect film that should not be touched to be remade or have a sequel… until now.

In 2015 a sequel was announced setting the film thirty years later with Ridley Scott set to produce and Harrison Ford planned to appear in the film as well. When the story broke my first thoughts were instant anger. I’ve never been fond of remaking a film or giving an older film an unwanted sequel; Zoolander 2, Independence Day: Resurgence, because it somewhat taints whatever magic the first one had. I genuinely had the fear that Blade Runner was going to be ruined. I told others that if this movie is bad I will cry in the theaters because the disappointment would have been too much to be angry about. Later on there were announcements of cast members, writers and a director; Denis Villeneuve, Ryan Gosling, Harrison Ford, Robin Wright, Jared Leto, original writer Hampton Fancher! Even with all this I was not fully persuaded to the idea of a Blade Runner sequel. And then the first teaser trailer dropped. December 19, 2016 I was waiting in the car of a mall parking lot and I get the notification on my phone and watch the trailer half excited. After a minute and a half I put my phone down in silence and tears star welling up in my face. I find myself crying in a mall parking lot. It’s not because I’m appalled by the trailer but rather in awe of its beauty, thanks to cinematography by the great Roger Deakins. From that moment all I knew was that I wanted October 2017 to get here faster, I was hooked. This was my most anticipated film of 2017.

Jump forward to today, October 8, 2017, Blade Runner 2049. I was unable to see it opening night which is what I typically do for most films I’m excited about. I usually see movies with my dad and he was busy working to go with me for those first two days. I get antsy when I can’t see a film the day it comes out mostly because of potential spoilers but also because I love the feeling of seeing a film on the first day before most. I go in watching it on the biggest screen my local theater has and I’m trying to hide my excitement just in case I am disappointed, but at this point what is there that can disappoint me? After two hours and forty- three minutes I walk out, come back home and silently enter my room where I burst into tears. I look like I had just lost a family member; my face is drenched with tears and wet with mucus it’s almost embarrassing what I looked like. But I’m crying not because I was disappointed, but because I was moved, I was astonished, I was happy. There has finally been a sequel in my lifetime that holds a candle to the original while also being its own thing. It took me a good while to type this up because it was too hard for me to collect my thoughts and write this. I ‘m honestly crying at this very moment because this film lived up to my expectations and then surpassed those expectations. This film is the definition of art. My eyes take in every frame like a fine dish at a high end restaurant, I savor every moment never feeling bored. My ears respond to this beautiful score by Hans Zimmer in collaboration with Benjamin Wallfisch (It 2017) and pick up on callbacks to the original and causes my heart of soar because I adore Vangelis’ work on the original. This is Ryan Gosling’s best work as Agent K on the hunt for this undiscovered truth. I honestly have said too much by saying nothing at all and I wish I could pour my thoughts on this page but I couldn’t bear spoiling this for anyone. All you need to know is that this is truly a masterpiece that is worth the most expensive IMAX tickets and I would go out of my way to say, as I bite my tongue, that Blade Runner 2049 is better than its predecessor. 10/10.

Why I Fucking Love Noel Gallagher Masterpost

Okay so this is a post mostly for myself but for all Noel lovers as well and hopefully also for the Noel haters out there who made me create this list in the first place *cough* Lydia and Tris *cough* to convince them to rethink their view on this genius. It’s all my personal and subjective opinions so don’t feel offended if you don’t agree with it. If the links don’t work/the videos got taken down then tell me, I have them all saved.

First of aaaalll Noel gives the funniest interviews, he is quick-witted and you can see that he doesn’t have to try to be funny, it just comes natural and that is something I really appreciate; he can entertain people without showing that he tries to be funny – he just is. Because of that he also got this award from the Rolling Stone:

Noel Gallagher Accepts Rolling Stone Award for ‘Best Rock Interview’

And I added some of the interviews I like the most here:

Oasis, Noel Interview on French TV, 1994

Noel Gallagher on TFI FRIDAY part 1

Noel Gallagher on TFI FRIDAY part 2

Noel Gallagher (Interview on The Jonathan Ross Show - 2011-10-21)

“That jacket’s life has been ruined” Noel Gallagher’s Interview in Seoul, Korea

Noel Gallagher Interview + 'Riverman’ (Alan Carr: Chatty Man) 1st May 2015

A special video that is probably my favourite Noel video ever is this one cause Noel is a grumpy man, yes, but in this vid you can see that he is super relaxed and comfortable and jokes around and laughs a lot and just overall has lots of fun and a happy Noel means a happy me so yeah, this one is a gem:

Noel Gallagher & Matt Morgan Fan Q&A Webcast

And he has the absolute talent of a radio host; I would listen to the Noel Gallagher show all day if it was a regular show:

The Downside Of Smoking Pot

The Noel Gallagher & Matt Morgan Show | Radio 2

The Noel Gallagher Show on Absolute Radio (Ft. Matt Morgan) - Feb 15th 2016

Then this is a must to watch as well cause it is hilarious; Noel commenting on all the Oasis music videos (it also made me check out Pete Doherty cause he mentioned his name in it somewhere during the video of All Around The World and yeah now I’m a huge Pete fan so I kind of owe him):

Noel Gallagher’s Oasis DVD commentary highlights

So and now let’s get to the music for…obvious reasons so first of all Noel did so much for Oasis; I don’t mean only as the main songwriter but also because of his commitment to the music and the band and you can see this well in this interview here, where he argues with Liam and it shows the difference between those two:

Oasis - Wibbling Rivalry (with transcript ½)

Oasis - Wibbling Rivalry (with transcript 2/2)


There are some amazing gigs he did without Liam there and did them brilliantly:

MTV Unplugged (1996) Oasis

OASIS: Noel Gets To The Point Dublin (05/12/1997)
 
Oasis - Live Noel Gallager and Gem Cabaret Sauvage, Paris, Full Concert

Focusing on some songs from the set at the Cabaret Sauvage, I want to say that Noel nailed these songs normally sung by Liam and in my opinion gave them more heart and soul than Liam ever did:

Noel Gallagher - Wonderwall (Acoustic) [Sitting Here in Silence] HD

Noel Gallagher - Slide Away (Live)

He gave them a whole new feeling that, honestly, fits their lyrics better this way than how Liam sang them. His voice carries much more feeling and this applies to other songs normally sung by Liam as well:

Noel Gallagher - Live Forever Acoustic (BEST VER.)

Oasis - Hey Now Demo version

He also always surprises with changing the whole atmosphere of the song by some simple changes (which also applies to Slide Away at the Cabaret Sauvage), my favourite example being this:

Noel Gallaghers High Flying Birds Supersonic International Magic Live At The O2 2012 1080p

Noel just is a musical genius and has been for such a long time, I’m also absolutely in love with his early demos and would love to hear them recorded properly nowadays:

COMPLETE Noel Gallagher Solo Demo Tape 1989

Noel may not always smile on pics with his fans or talk much to them (come on, he is 50 now and probably tired of this hustle and bustle and it just isn’t his world to interact with strangers) but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love and appreciate them and he actually did this:

Luckiest Oasis Fan Ever?

And then there are some versions/demos of songs I absolutely adore and choose over the album versions and those are it:

Oasis - Sunday Morning Call (lyrics)

+ the demo version of The Dying Of The Light and I don’t mean this sound check version that has been on Youtube for years, I mean the official demo but that got taken down apparently, I’m so glad I saved it before that happened though I can’t add an audio here so I’ll do that seperately

Noel also definitely doesn’t need Liam or Oasis to make amazing music, just listen to his solo albums that I won’t add links of here, go search for them yourself and better buy them as well, he’ll be thankful for that.

And then there are some absolutely hilarious quotes by the chief (sorry if any of them aren’t actually by him? I saved those years ago and didn’t copy the source so I don’t guarantee for the correctness):

About Liam:
-„He’s rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.”
-“Sure I love Liam, but not as much as I love Pot Noodles.”
-“Deep down inside even he is a nice guy. Both of him.”
-“If Liam doesn’t like a song, he doesn’t sing it, it’s as simple as that. Or if something’s more interesting going on, like a pub crawl, then he won’t do it. Bless him. Lager before music.“
-“If I lived in America, I would have blown his head off by now and completely regretted it. Since I live in England, though, I just give him a black eye or something every now and again. I don’t hate him, but fuck me, he pisses me off sometimes.”
-“If I was a teenage girl, I’d think, Fuck me, he’s really good looking. If I was a teenage boy, I’d think, If that cunt can do it, then there’s hope for us all. But I don’t understand why he appeals to me. Because he pisses me off.”
-“I love the geezer. I love him. And I don’t say that just because he’s my brother. He makes me laugh. He’s so surreal.”
-“Liam only has two problems – everything he fucking says and everything he fucking does.”
-„Falls ich vor ihm sterben sollte, werde ich an der Himmelspforte auf ihn warten und dafür sorgen, dass sie ihn nicht reinlassen.“ (if I die before him, I’ll wait outside of heaven for him and make sure he doesn’t get in)
-“I owe my whole career to this guy.”
-“Liam is a songwriting genius. His songs make me cry ’cause they are better than mine.”
-“My whole world came crashing down on me then. If it hadn’t have been for Liam’s support I don’t know what I’d have done. This is my little brother, who I look after, putting his arm around me, saying ‘It’ll be all right man.’ But I don’t think people will ever forgive me for it.”(Noel concerning his comment on Blur and Aids)

About anything else:
-“It’s a human playing a tree. Three chords on a guitar: now write a song. I only know 11! But I tell you what, God help you when I find the 12th!” (on playing guitar)
-“Who wants to be anonymous anyway? I was anonymous for 24 fucking years anyway.”
-“You’re asking if I’m happy? I’ve got 87 million in the bank, I’ve got a Rolls Royce, I’ve got 3 stalkers, I’m about to go on the board at Manchester City, I’m part of the greatest band in the world. Am I happy with that? No, I’m not! I want more!”
-“You pick up your guitar, rip a few people’s tunes off, swap them around a bit, get your brother in the band, punch his head in every now and again, and it sells.”
-„We’re not arrogant, we just think we’re the best band in the world.“
“Americans are crazy. They have this fascination with throwing their shoes on stage. I’ve been to a lot shows in my life, some good and some bad. But I was never moved to take off my shoes and throw it at the lead singer.”
-“Someone was playing a joke when they made me, you know, 'Let’s make this guy a writer and a guitar player, but let’s make him write with his left hand but play with his right, and let’s have him born in the middle of May and give him a Christmas name like Noel, and let’s make him a dodgy, schizophrenic, two-faced Gemini.’ Cheers!”
-“I can run around naked with a toothbrush stuck up my arse - it’s my house”.
-“Don’t lay a finger on my eyebrows or I’ll sue you fuckers.”
-“Shit’ll happen when shit happens, and if shit don’t happen, there’ll be no shit happening.”
-“I’d ban all state laws and just have one law: smoke where you want, drink where you want, whenever you want. Get the age of consent right down, legalize all drugs. Kill all the people who like Grunge music, Kill all the surfboarders. Generally have a good time and anybody who wears a cowboy hat should go to the electric chair.” (if he reigned the USA)
-“I came up with the greatest excuse one day. It was actually my crowning moment as a liar. I used to spend a lot of time in my bedroom, playing guitar. I went to the shops for my mum, and I come back and she’s found a bag of hash in my sock drawer, a big block of draw. So she says, 'I’ve just found this upstairs.’ And right off the top of my head I went, 'Ah, well, you see, what that’s for is wiping the strings on my guitar.’ I said, 'Violin players use them.’ And she said, 'Oh really?’ And I went, 'Yeah, look,’ and I got my guitar and rubbed all my strings with pot: 'It makes them sound better.’ And she says, ’ It does sound right an’ all; it does sound better.’ And I went upstairs and thought, 'You’re a fucking genius.’”
-“Taking drugs is like getting up and having a cup of tea in the morning.”
-Noel: “Ich habe 107 Gitarren, 200 Paar Schuhe, 4 Autos…” Spiegel: “…aber sie haben doch nicht einmal den Führerschein, oder?” Noel: “Na und? Ich habe auch einen Super-Pool und kann nicht schwimmen.” (I have 107 guitars, 200 pairs of shoes, 4 cars… - but you don’t have a license, do you? – no but I also have a super pool and can’t swim)
-“Why would I join facebook? I only have six friends and I’m trying to get rid of one of them.”
-“I don’t want people watching me and thinking “I could do that”. I want them thinking they could never do that.”
-“I do all the work so it’s only right that I should get the most money. Plus I am the most handsome.”
-“Next year I hope to get a stalker or two because I don’t believe you’ve arrived until you get a stalker.”
-“I’m not like John Lennon, who thought he was the great Almighty. I just think I’m John Lennon.”
-“I’m a songwriter because I’m no good at anything else and it pays well”
-“I can’t walk straight, let alone drive a car.”
-“You can’t get bored of 15,000 people shouting for 'Wonderwall’. That’s better than drugs. You get a hard-on when you hear that.”
-"I wasn’t put on this earth to amass money or personal wealth. I was put on this earth to play guitar and write songs.”
-“We like annoying people. It’s a Manchester thing. It’s a trait. We just like pissing people off.”

And now have some cute Noel gifs/pics to end this:

Of course there is much more I could add to that list but I couldn’t find everything on the Internet again so feel free to add something if you can and tell me where I can find certain videos if you have them (for example the video of Noel at some party and he finds everything “rubbish” and at the end of the video he calls the party “mega” and the interviewer concludes “we got from rubbish to mega in the sip of a drink”; I think that got taken down?? Tell me, guys)

Good bye PLL

The day has come where we all have to sit and watch the very last episode we all love it hate *holds back the tears*

My love for you all:

I still remember the first time I watched it. It was a rare night because I had no basketball practice which meant that I had a free night of nothing, and at 16 I swear that was so rare. I turned on the tv and just watched what was on MTV and it was PLL, and from then I was hooked. I never really spent time making theories until I think I got to a place in my life where I was lonely and just didn’t have anything better todo. So by 21 maybe 22 I had a blog. I didn’t think much would come from it except maybe a few followers and a couple reblogs here and there. And I sure as hell was not going to make any “internet friends”. BUT DAMN WAS I WRONG. My following increased at a rate I never fathomed and was so grateful for b/c the interaction between so many of you all about this show meant the world. When I made this blog I said I was lonely but I was just standing at the line of depression something I was familiar with but this time it was disguised. Eventually I crossed that line and didn’t realize it till later on, I got some help but what i think helped me from having the thoughts I used to have back in the day was being able to communicate and having something todo online as just an outlet. When I said I never would make any friends over the internet i’m sure God had a huge laugh about that one b/c he went on to place people in my life that I couldn’t picture not have knowing or not talking to. We have had some amazing times and even down times, and even fall outs. But honestly I wouldn’t trade the bad times b/c those good times and that love we all share for each other is what made it so great. Thank you ALL for making this show so freaking awesome to watch, and for turning some of my crappy nights into happy nights!!!

My favourite moments/memories:

The mystery and the reveal of Mona will still go down as my favourite reveal. The clues that they dropped and lack of plot holes just made it brilliant. 

The ships lol…who didn’t love seeing everybody feud over who’s ship was better or least toxic??!?! I may not ship all ships but I did love the passion everybody put into them. I’m so pumped to Emison together, I think that will be my favourite thing to have come from these many seasons of being let down.

The wine moms I think inspired us all to up our drinking game. They will forever go down as iconic in my books. 

I will never forget the many amazing theories I read on CeCe, Melissa, Wren, the parents….and even the MANY Aria theories lol. My theories were always garbage in comparison to you. Like some of you are so gifted, thinking on a whole different level (a level I wish Marlene and other writers would have gotten on!!!). 

The hilarious posts that came from the show that turned into a train wreck. I don’t think if we didn’t have a such a hilarious PLL family on tumblr these last few season have been as tolerable!! 

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHERE THINGS THAT I COULD MENTION BUT FIGURES I’M PULLING A BLANK :)))))

I know have to mention a few specific blogs:

@prettylittleliarsbiga THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG!!! Alivia where do I even start with you!?!?!?! I honestly couldn’t imagine not having her in my life. And tbh she has no choice bc I tell her on a regular basis that i’ll kick her ass if she ever tries to not be my friend LOL! She lives so freaking far away but still managed to help me through one of the hardest years if my life. If it wasn’t for her wisdom, humour, and kindness I’d probably be a hot freaking mess (or at least a bigger one than I am today lol). I will always be so grateful for that. This past year and a half I learnt so much about her that blew my mind bc I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have had someone so amazing in my life.There hasn’t been a moment when you haven’t been there for me. Even those couple times where we’ve had our disagreements and didn’t speak b/c we are both soooo stubborn  (it felt like an eternity i swear lol!!) I always knew that you were still my friend and I didn’t have to worry that you wouldn’t be there anymore. You constantly have me cracking up with you pettiness and crazy sense of humour, and your crazy ass work and driving stories lol. You have taught me how to not take shit from people even if I care about them b/c at the end of the day your internal peace and self respect is so much more important. You also have one of the most generous hearts I know, you are so giving to those people around you who you love and even to stranger on the street who you’d share your candy with.She will call you out on your shit, and honestly that’s one of my favourite things about her. It reminds me that she’s real and that she cares. She is also one of the most loyal people that I have ever known, but don’t me wrong…she won’t let you walk all over her. She is strong af and isn’t scared to tell you how it is, and she will have her friends back in anything. I COULD GO ON FOREVER BC I’M KIND OF HIGHKEY OBESED WITH HER!!!!!! Thank you for being the best friend I always needed and never even knew until you stepped into my ask, asking me if I watched the last episode. So thank you for asking me that b/c if you hadn’t done that, then who knows where i’d be at!?!?!?!  I think this meme perfectly describes how I feel about you… 

@dominicsherwod Jenny from the block! You used to have a little now you have a lot LOOOOOL!!!! My favourite thing is sassy Jenny, when you get on a role girl, it’s like damn “who is this!?!?” LOL!! You have always been someone I can talk with about anything. It honestly blows my mind that someone I consider a very good friend was someone that I hoped would one day just follow me back b/c I love their blog so freaking much!!! Thank you so much for your friendship and constant loyalty!

@jupiterswhore Sarah, I know we don’t talk as much any more but you were one of the first friends I made on this terrible website lol. Through the many blogs you’ve had we’ve always stayed in contact, which makes me happy! Your sense of humour always kills me and you weirdness as well lol! I hope you’re doing well and that you’re killing it out there in the real world <3

@yourbloodisthenewblack @prettylittleliarsxxxx How could I forget my hockey girls???!!! You have no idea how happy it has made me to have found two people who love hockey and not only that the Oilers!!! I seriously think i’m going to keep my blog just so we can keep our hockey discussions going <3 I can’t wait for the fall to get lit about our boys and our hatred for other teams again LOL!

@qweensasha I couldn’t leave out the cutest human on this!!! I was so excited to hear you just celebrated your 21st *wipes tears away b/c you’re growing up*!! I know we don’t get to talk much anymore but I do know you’re crazy busy with school working towards your dreams of being an amazing kick ass Kinesiologist (i could be wrong on this so forgive me!!) so keep working your ass off for that goal b/c I know you’ll get this and kill it!!!

@redcoatblackveil Things haven’t been easy but when it comes to this series finale (and me being me) I’m sentimental af :))) so not including you in this would feel wrong and lowkey mean (???). You were a big part in what made PLL so much fun and enjoyable and during some tough times in my life you had the greatest wisdom and put some smiles on my face. No matter where we stand or what we have gone through I will be forever grateful for that and those memories, and instead of being angry I’ll remember those times and carry on <3 


There are so many of you that could mention and so many that i’ve lost contact with but just know I love you all like crazy and will forever love the PLL tumblr fam <33333

*Note: I didn’t go through and edit this b/c i’m lazy so please excuse the many errors in spelling and grammar :))))*

anonymous asked:

do you have any advice for someone who wants to start writing fanfiction?? thank you for any help!!!!

Whether you want to write fanfiction, original fiction, nonfiction, or just really kick-ass tumblr posts, my advice is all the same–write. The more you write, the better you will get.

Write for an audience. Notice what people respond to. Notice what gets left behind.

Write tumblr posts. Write drabbles. Write one-shots. Just write.

Make friends who write. Friends who don’t say, “you’re doing what right now?” Friends who you can play writing games with. Friends who will beg you for your next chapter. Friends who will tell you that that one rude comment on AO3 is uncalled for and tell you to keep going because look at all the people who are reading it. Make ride-or-die friends and pass stuff back and forth.

Read. Read lots of everything. Read things that are popular. Read things that nobody else is seeing. Read beautiful things fifty times–once to appreciate it, twice to love it, times three through seventeen to take it apart and see what ticks. Read it the eighteenth time for the joy of reading it again. On reads nineteen through thirty-two pay attention to a different aspect every time–a character, a subplot, a repeated motif. Read it the thirty-third time to find the thing you hadn’t noticed on your prior thirty-two reads. Then read it over. Come back to the beautiful things; memorize the sentence structure, the way that plots build or that arguments are structured, and work up from there until you understand how to make that beauty yours.

Read things that are terrible and mock them with your friends. Tear them to pieces so that you’ll never make the same mistakes. Ask yourself how you’d fix them, if you had to, because someday you will write something terrible and you’ll have to fix it.

Live. Writing is about communicating truth, and so try to experience as much truth as possible. When you experience a perfect moment, take time to stop and really let yourself experience it. What are the physical sensations you experience when you go to a concert and hear a song you love played live for the first time, surrounded by hundreds of others who feel it? Experience the imperfect, too. Where in your body do you store shock? Hatred? Sadness? Pain? Why did you get mad at that person the other day? What would you do differently?

Learn. Even if you’re not writing fantasy, your job is to make your reader believe your world exists. The more you know about how the world works, the better a job you will do at this. If you want to write a world that feels like it’s bigger than just what you see on the page, take the time to understand this world and how it ticks.

Part of being a writer is to learn to be hard and cruel. To say, “this is good, but it is not good enough, and I am going to have to burn it to the ground and redo it.” You have to tell yourself that this thing here doesn’t stand out, this part here is too slow, these motivations don’t make sense, why didn’t he just call, what am I doing, everyone knows you don’t go down into the basement, why is she going in the basement? Can I make this story work if she doesn’t go in the basement?

But be gentle with yourself, too. Learn to step back. Learn when it’s time to be hard and learn when it’s time to be soft. On the days that are hard (and there will be hard days), remind yourself that you got out of bed and you took a shower and you took your meds and you put on pants and yeah you stared at your screen for hours, but look at you, you irrepressible thing-doer, you.

On the days when you don’t get out of bed? Be even more gentle. Here you are, still existing in this world, and anyone who has been here long enough knows that continuing to exist is the greatest achievement of them all. Most of the planets in this solar system don’t even have intelligent life, so look at you, you giant masterpiece of physics and biology, neurons firing, lungs working. You’re here. You’re existing. You’re doing great.

My last piece of advice is this–if anything on here sounds fishy to you, say, “fuck this shit” and do it your own way. Since the invention of writing, millions of people have become writers in some sense of the word. Every single one of them had their own path towards becoming a writer. There is no right way to do this, and there is no wrong way. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or unable to see the truth.

Whatever anyone else says, you’re going to get your own path. Good luck.

VLD Positivity (a day late)

All of your positivity yesterday was amazing and ever single time I was tagged I gave a ridiculous smile before getting back to work. I just want to let you all know I love you too <3

Here are a few of the people that make being here worth it:

@bosstoaster : Where do I even START. Your work on Ao3 developed every single one of my ships and headcanons before I even got onto tumblr. You alone are the reason I am here. You made me care about Voltron, gave my love for Shiro legs, and when it comes down to it, are the reason I started writing. Every single time we speak I have to fight the part of me that’s screaming because you’re kind of my fandom hero. Thank you for putting up with my absurd fangiriling, and thank you for being my mom through this hellsite, and you don’t know this, but your occasional mentions of your aromanticism helped me figure out my own shit, and I will be thanking you eternally <3

@butteredonions : Another one of those writers who has been formative in everything I do. Your updates are the only ones that have me yelling and stopping everything I’m doing in order to read. You sent in my first prompt ever and started all the everything I’m doing now, and I am utterly thankful for it. I was afraid to put my stuff out there and you told me to just do it, so I did, and man, you were so so right. One of my many moms. Thank you <3

@ashinan : Another person that accidentally became my mother when I once again had no idea how anything worked. You and the mom squad saved me from some dumb shit and I will be eternally thankful. I love your writing so much and I loved it even more when I got to reread it knowing the you, too, are as heavily influenced by the McElboys as I am. Your porn writing nights are always amazing and you should do more of them. Plz.

@velkynkarma : Okay. Dude. Hoo boy. I have never ever spoken to you but I just want to tell you how much your writing has changed how I look at everything. I remember going out with friends one night and Parasite Knight updated. I told them “okay I love you but I love this fic more, give me ten minutes to read” and then read it right there at the restaurant. I am absolutely amazed at the speed and accuracy with which you write and you were one of those people that fanfiction is more than just “fanfiction”; it’s literature in it’s own right.

@mumblefox : Another Think Tank member that I have never spoken to but admire from afar. Mumble, I admire you so much. Your Across, Around, and Upside Down series was so beautifully written and visceral, I’m still preparing myself to reread and give you all the comments and love that you deserve.

@paladin-pile : My dear, dear paladin. You. Yoooouuuuu. Your constant support and ego boosting keeps me writing. Every time I decide I hate all my writing you are the one that keeps me from throwing all of it off a cliff. Your headcanons become my headcanons, your prompts become my favorite fics, your ideas become my stories. I can not articulate how much you mean to me, but you know. <3

@melonbugg : MELON. MY LOVE MY HEART MY SOUL. Your time in Shanghai killed me, I have no idea who Myth is without Melon. Our writing together is such a core reason that I’ve made somuch in such a short time. My eternal beta, my co-mod in everything, you know how much you mean to me <3

@paladinpuppypile : I think you’re my first fandom mom. You’re just so great to talk to and I am so glad I randomly messaged you months ago. You might be one of the few people on this site that I actually talk to about life, and I love hearing about yours. You’re so much fun to work with and our conversations constantly inspire me to keep writing.

@ace-pidge : Can we just talk about how you run the quiznak chronicle and it is absolutely the greatest thing and best organized thing in the whole world? You are an ABSOLUTE BLESSING and I’m fairly sure that the entire fandom would crumble without you, not to mention that your blog is probably the safest space on this site. Thank you <3

@gitwrecked : You. Your art, your personality, how you’re always happy to talk to lil’ old me. You were one of my first followers, from before I even started writing, and I have no idea how you found me, but I want you to know that I am to this day confused as to why you took notice and why you are just such a damn good person.

@headspacedad : I think you were among the first people I followed and I will never forget that day of bothering BT all day to write Days of Gladiator Love, of probably mutually giggling behind computer screens as we made shitty names and bad ideas for Shiro’s romance novel, and you’ve been so supportive every day since.

@sassafrassrex : WHEN YOU TAGGED ME YESTERDAY I YELLED. YOU. LIKE MY WRITING? WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND???? I LOVE YOU AND THE PURCHASED, TRADED , WAGERED, WON WRECKED MY ENTIRE SOUL. Plz be my friend.

@demenior : Hurting my heart with that good good porn and good good everything since 2kAlways.

@itbespacegays : Sam, my love. Your AMVs slay me every single time and I absolutely adore our conversation at 3am when no one else is awake. Night owls FTW.

@anira8884 : YOU MADE ART FOR ME AND I STILL YELL ABOUT IT THANK YOU SO MUCH

@mishion : We just started talking, like, yesterday, but your art. Your ART. HOW. I send it to everyone I know all the time, sometimes just so I can stare at it some more. I have one of your pieces as my phone background and then I find out you’re actually an amazing pleasant person? What? Not fair.

@xandriella : I can’t even. You know. Babe, i basically live with you and we have a shared social calendar. You know.

I know there’s bound to be someone I forgot, but know that I love you all. Thank you <3

The Problem with Supergirl

Author note: S3 spoilers ahead (not that you haven’t already seen them). Also, these thoughts are my own, and others may see differently. Respectful comments are appreciated.

For reading clarity: If in italics, I am referring to Supergirl the show, not the character.

So…we’ve all heard the news, had time to process, gotten pissed as hell and maybe a little drunk over it. (Okay, maybe that last part was just me.) Sanvers is on the rocks, possibly irrevocably. And it blows.

But if I’m being honest, I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. I began having concerns around episode 2x14, when it became clear they no longer had any interest in having Alex and Maggie work cases together and that Maggie seemed to be getting shunted into the “girlfriend” role. By not integrating Maggie into the larger narrative (by, say, having her become the NCPD’s official liaison to the DEO), it kept her sidelined and limited her character development. I had hoped maybe that would be in the plan for this season, but…this is me, getting ready to write it myself because clearly no one on their payroll has any interest in it.

Keep reading

We have made love humanity’s greatest foe,
Desensitized by how much we are willing to accept.
Poverty? OK. Airstrikes in the Middle East? OK. A 12 Gauge pump shotgun in the hand of a child–
OK, whether in the form of a controller or out of a parent’s locked up safe.


You’ve heard of toddlers dead
And of adolescent women forcefully bred,
And it may be a bother, but it’s in one ear and right out the other until you begin to wonder why–
And then you smother yourself in lies.


Just World Bias—Good only happens to good.
Just World Bias—Bad only happens to the wicked.
Just World Bias—He’s unemployed because he’s lazy.
Just World Bias—She was raped for dressing slutty.


Over and over we’re told “Work and Work Hard and you will succeed.”
But they don’t tell us some kids since birth
Are bent at the knees
And chained to the ground by color or wealth
Getting out of the hole that their poor health has built,
Working harder than you, more than you’d ever know,
Because while you’re on your throne,
They’re still in that hole, with nowhere to go.


The cup is neither half full nor half empty,
There are two cups of opportunity
Distributed unequally amongst society,
And there dies the American Dream!


It’s not Survival of the Fittest
It’s Survival of the Privileged.


Is it fair?
No, the Theory is rigged,
When parents can’t support their kids,
When kids support their families,
When we’re counting on anomalies
To prove we have equality.


How come it is that in order to have a voice you have to have experience,
But in order to be heard you have to be what is called “educated?”
I am the latter,
The one more likely to be listened to,


So let me be heard.


Let me speak on the behalf of the starving children who could be fed by the money spent on stopping the gays from being wed.
Let me speak on the behalf of loving faith washed over by radical extremist hate,
Let me speak on the behalf of the mother who wasn’t taught about birth control and is now giving birth to a child she’s expected to have that she can’t afford.


I AM PRIVILEGED!


My education has been top notch since I was born,
And while I may be smart,
And while I’ve played my part,
Working hard
What they don’t teach you in school
When you grow up like me is
About how important it is that you get
Dealt the right cards.


Hard work sculpts the world of the American
But we spend so little time on trying to make the world work.
And that’s the problem.


I speak, and I speak, and by now you’re probably only half listening.
Or if you’ll hear me, you’ll dismiss it,
While you’re missing the point.
It’s not survival of the fittest, it’s survival of the privileged.
Money rules all and we all have to live with—I QUIT!
If the people of this country are satisfied with a meme on Tumblr or a rant on the comment section of Facebook–
If the people of America do not stand up and fight their apathetic ways,
Then not even the government,
Not even the pope,
And not even your God can fix us.

— 

@wingsofdarkdeception​ (N. A. CIRA)

This poem is called Survival of the Privileged. With what has happened recently in Charlottesville, I felt like I had to share this again. I have been inspired to write more poetry about social justice. I will share more once I have written them.

Simple graphic is simple but oh man it’s gonna have to do for now.

Anyway, I technically hit past the 101 milestone as of last week (I actually missed the chance to screenshot that exact number because I napped and I failed us all), but c’mon I’ve got to pay homage to this number no matter what. I mean, I do write for as a De Vil and this number is all tied to him whether this kiddo likes it or not, so simple as that.

But can I say that, I’ve been back on Carlos for a little over a month at this point and it’s just…so good to be back? I meant to remake sooner but I kept putting it off, and then I got super sucked into my Moa.na blog too. But in time I had a pull back to my freckled child and I couldn’t just avoid him forever (him and other muses). And now we’re all back and to see some familiar faces around as well as new ones is just, really great. I’ve had so much fun reconnecting with old mutuals and connecting with newer ones, and to finally get back into writing my son again. I didn’t know what to expect but I’m glad this particular community is filled with some of the sweetest people? Or at least the ones I’ve encountered.

Thank you to so many of you for welcoming me back once more. And also thank you to those that aren’t actually familiar with this franchise but knew me from my Moa blog and followed me anyway. Like I’m still floored you did that for Carlos and my other remade boys and you are the absolute greatest. I can’t wait to fill your dashes with more of our precious isle pup and my general salt about the writing and franchise. So without a further to do, everything is under the cut. And please forgive me if I forget any names, but please know that I am grateful to all of you!

Keep reading

So I have a habit of livetexting everything I read/watch to the person who got me into it, and it's generally regarded as quite amusing. My dear friend Mycroft recently got me into Young Wizards, and he suggested that I put one of my livetexts up on Tumblr as my introduction into the fandom. So here goes "Iago reads High Wizardry" (lightly edited to make reading easier).
  • Iago: *picks up High Wizardry* Here we go.
  • Iago: Oh god. Setting up a computer in the nineties. This should be fun.
  • Iago: Dari wearing a Star Wars shirt makes me incredibly happy.
  • Iago: Nita's parents affronted by the fact that Dari can set up the computer without instructions is just perfect.
  • Mycroft: Dairine is the best Star Wars nerd.
  • Iago: She also likes X-Men, which is perfect.
  • Iago: "The sure way to make the world work for you was to know everything. Dairine sat home and busied herself with conquering the world." New favorite character? I think so.
  • Mycroft: I think she became like half the fandom's favorite character at that exact moment. Myself included--I can definitely relate.
  • Iago: *laughs* At least I'm in good company, then.
  • Iago: I hope Dari eventually conquers the world. We couldn't have a better ruler.
  • Mycroft: Amen to THAT.
  • Iago: Oh sweet lord Dari took the Oath we're all toast.
  • Iago: Dari with a lightsaber is a terrifying thought.
  • Iago: Dari's going to have an affinity for computer systems, isn't she?
  • Iago: Awwwww, Nita's upset that Kit didn't notice her new boobs!
  • Mycroft: Also consider this- since Dari took the Oath, she could probably make a lighsaber out of wizardry if she really wanted.
  • Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus we're fucked.
  • Iago: Oh look, Dari's created a second computer.
  • Mycroft: It's always good to have backups...
  • Iago: It's her Wizard's manual, isn't it?
  • Mycroft: I'm saying nothingggggg.
  • Iago: It's totally her manual. It's fucking taking her to Mars as we speak,
  • Mycroft: Okay yes. That is a thing.
  • Iago: Obviously that means she has an affinity for computers. I'm a writer. i know these things.
  • Iago: It also means that she might have and easier time with wizardry that Kit and Nita, because she just has to command the computer.
  • Mycroft: Brace yourself for the "computer wizard" puns. They're gonna happen.
  • Iago: YUS
  • Iago: How convenient is it that two of the *four* North American Senior Wizards live within relative spitting distance of our main characters?
  • Iago: Wait, puberty gives you more power? Fuck, why wasn't *I* a wizard? That could have made things a hell of a lot easier.
  • Iago: Souls are one to a customer *on this planet*? The hell does that mean?
  • Mycroft: It's a big, weird Universe out there...
  • Iago: Fair play to you.
  • Iago: Ah, the trouble with going to a place about which you know nothing: you find yourself talking to the luggage. I wouldn't be surprised if, at some point, Dari used the wrong verbs and ended up kissing a complete stranger.
  • Iago: Ah, planet-hopping youth. Always expecting something they're familiar with, when someone more experienced would know not to expect anything.
  • Iago: "Tentacled" being used as a way to describe how people get around brings me much joy.
  • Mycroft: SAME. Also, welcome to the Crossings. You'll be seeing a lot of it.
  • Iago: Oh boy. That sounds ominous.
  • Mycroft: Well, I mean it's a popular travel hub.
  • Iago: Fair enough.
  • Iago: Oh my god are those actually dinosaurs.
  • Iago: Holy shit it's like a bloodhound but it's a dinosaur yes good I approve of this.
  • Iago: Oh shit, now she's covering her trail. How the hell are Kit and Nita going to fin her
  • Iago: God, this galaxy sounds beautiful.
  • Iago: Kit and Nita in a "permanent partnership". *waggles eyebrows*
  • Mycroft: INDEED.
  • Mycroft: They're so adorably awkward.
  • Iago: Especially at thirteen and fourteen. This is perfect.
  • Iago: And we're back to Nita considering asking Kit what he thinks about "things".
  • Mycroft: Bless her beautiful relatable awkwardness.
  • Iago: Yes, Tom, tell the magical children to go to major law enforcement authorities. That can't possibly backfire in your face.
  • Iago: planet-sized computer chip = yes good.
  • Mycroft: Wasn't it terrifying when Dairine thought she'd fried her Manual. Stranded in the middle of a distant unexplored planet is not the greatest time for that.
  • Iago: It was too far from the end of the book for her to be dead just yet.
  • Iago: Ah! She's teaching it and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.
  • Iago: Oo! Dairine's manual is learning, too!
  • Iago: Oh god is she going to make the planet a wizard
  • Mycroft: ...MAYBE
  • Iago: Goody.
  • Mycroft: By the way, you didn't say anything about the Doctor's cameo...
  • Iago: Oh, of *course* that was him. I was wondering why he felt familiar. Which incarnation was that supposed to be?
  • Mycroft: Five. He's Diane Duane's favorite.
  • Iago: Ahhhh. Makes sense why I didn't quite catch it, then. I've never seen a Five story, and I really know very little about him.
  • Iago: oh god it was a *birthing* room?
  • Iago: "Kit, I didn't do it for you 'some'. I did it for you 'pretty much'."
  • Iago: I FUCKING SHIP IT SO GODDAMN HARD RIGHT NOW.
  • Mycroft: YES GOOD JOIN US
  • Iago: IS THERE SOME KIND OF INITIATION CEREMONY OR AM I JUST IN
  • Iago: BECAUSE I WILL WRITE FANFIC IF NECESSARY.
  • Mycroft: FANFIC IS ALWAYS GOOD
  • Iago: Also, That Fucker just blew up a star to kill Kit and Nita. How rude.
  • Mycroftt: Are we calling the Lone Power That Fucker now because I totally approve
  • Iago: We totally can. I figured that capitalizing the first letters of any creative epithet I come up with would get the point across.
  • Mycroft: And it totally did.
  • Iago: Aw, Dairine's making friends with the circuit turtles!
  • Mycroft: With!
  • Iago: Is that its name?
  • Iago: Apparently not. Too bad, that would have been cute.
  • Iago: Gigo's nice, too, though
  • Iago: Mycroft I want a circuit turtle
  • Iago: Oh my god Dairine has just created a new race.
  • Mycroft: YUP
  • Iago: Good lord she *could* take over the world.
  • Mycroft: I would probably support this.
  • Iago: We wouldn't be able to stop her. We probably wouldn't *want* to stop her.
  • Iago: Oh dear god the circuit turtles are going to take over the Universe
  • Mycroft: I think it's more like... reprogramming
  • Iago: They're going to remake the whole damn thing!
  • Iago: I legitimately do not know what the Lone Asshat wants from this encounter.
  • Iago: Oh my god Dari has just used one of my favorite lines.
  • Iago: "You're so full of it that if you had eyes, they'd be brown."
  • Iago: Ah, mental contact. Solves everyone's problems
  • Iago: *flailing* Dari!
  • Iago: GODDAMMIT MYCROFT IF SHE HAS TO DIE TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE I QUIT LIFE
  • Iago: Nita and Kit showed up in the nick of time, and honest to god I was waiting for a, "Surprise, bitch."
  • Iago: "One might be intending to cripple or destroy that Power, but there was no need to be rude about it."
  • Iago: AND WHY NOT
  • Iago: RUDE IS FUN
  • Iago: WHY IS NITA USING HER LIFE FORCE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT'S THE WORST IDEA
  • Iago: PEACH
  • Iago: *incoherent shrieking*
  • Iago: MYCROFT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL END YOU WHY DID YOU GET ME INTO A SERIES THAT HURTS SO MUCH
  • Iago: WAIT A SECOND HAS DAIRINE ACTUALLY BECOME GOD
  • Iago: SHE HAS SHE'S TOTALLY GOD
  • Iago: JEELSUS CRUST HOW
  • Iago: SHE CREATED A SPECIES AND NOW SHE'S ALMIGHTY WE MAY AS WELL JUST START WORSHIPPING HER
  • Iago: WAIT NO FUCK SHE CAN'T DIE SHE'S GOD
  • Iago: PICCHU. PICCHU IS BACK. IN A DIFFERENT FORM BUT FUCK I'LL TAKE IT.
  • Iago: THEY ARE ALL ALIVE
  • Iago: OH MY GOD NO ONE DIED
  • Iago: NO ONE ACTUALLY DIED HOLY SHIT
  • Iago: EXCUSE ME WHILE I ROLL AROUND ON THE GROUND, SCREAMING FOR JOY
My 5 Favorite Movies

As payment for the lovely Patreon contribution of Alice, I agreed to provide a list of my top 5 favorite movies (horror or not) and whatever film quotes I remember that I love. So, here we are:

5.  Kill Bill (Yes, Both Parts)

Any real fan of Quentin Tarantino knows that Kill Bill is not two movies–it is one movie, split into parts because that’s how the studio wanted to deliver it. Don’t say you don’t like part two as much as part one; Kill Bill is one movie. 

Why is this on my list? To tell you the truth, it doesn’t really seem to make sense considering who I am and what I do… except that it 100% is a Nick Nocturne kind of film.

There are no major psychological mystery elements, there’s no major abstract symbolism to decode or puzzle to break, and while the story of Kill Bill is horrifying, it’s not strictly horror.

And yet, Kill Bill is extremely valuable to me. So much so that I have the physical DVD copies of both parts and my own Hanzo sword replica, given to me during a past Christmas from someone who knew me better than I had realized up until that point.

Quentin Tarantino is a role model for me and anyone who believes in the Night Mind mission statement. An independent creator who taught himself, did his own work, and fought his way into the industry on his own terms making original work that challenged the field and broke the mold, Quentin Tarantino is revered for a very good reason. He told us unique, engaging stories that spoke to him and never bowed to the entertainment field’s requests to make “more of what sold last summer.” 

Kill Bill is probably the bravest, boldest movie Quentin Tarantino could have ever made before Django Unchained, and I don’t think anyone else could have ever gotten away with doing this. Outrageously violent, over-the-top action sequences, and oozing with charisma that’s equally cool and absurd, this world doesn’t follow cinema rules of the time it came out. Kill Bill stands alone, much like The Bride herself, and it takes no prisoners.

And the story? That awesome story! You cannot get a more badass, engaging revenge tale than the bloody path of The Bride. And let’s face it: you never, ever imagined a movie involving a woman punching her way out of a coffin, did you? And you probably never expected to enjoy seeing that as much as you did.


4 - Trick ‘r Treat

Let’s get something straight here, mmkay?

Michael Dougherty is brilliant and cannot make a bad movie.

Trick ‘r Treat is one of the best Halloween movies I’ve ever seen. I love it so much, it shares the same treatment I gave Kill Bill–I have the DVD, and I bought a Sam Hain Pop Vinyl figure. If I can get more Sam stuff while browsing geek merchandise stores, I absolutely will.

A short story collection horror movie on Halloween that feels like Halloween and celebrates a bunch of different Halloween monster and horror characters and situations is so valuable. I enjoy every aspect of this movie, and it just keeps surprising you. It’s fresh, it’s exciting, it’s fun, it’s disturbing, and it just brings so many different pieces of what Halloween is for people into one film. And like Quentin Tarantino, Michael Dougherty kind of had to fight his way into the field, too. 

Trick ‘r Treat began its life as an animated short film by Micahel Dougherty in 1996 called “Season’s Greetings.” It was a traditional animation by the actual director and writer! And he had to hold onto his idea for about ten years before he could make it. The film was was originally intended for wide release in theaters in October of 2007, but got pushed off the theatrical release plans for that year and sat in limbo. Trick ‘r Treat was only given screenings at festivals after this and, after buzz was created on the festival circuit, it was given a DVD & Blu-Ray release in 2009. 

Michael Dougherty waited about ten years to make his idea into the movie. And then it took another two years for a wide audience to actually see it.

But now, Dougherty’s having the last laugh—Trick ‘r Treat is a cult classic with so much love and merchandising success behind it that he was given the power to make Krampus, a movie I gave my first glowing review for on the channel last year. I even bought the DVD this year and watched it again on December 23rd.


3- The Matrix

The Matrix was the first film I ever saw that really opened up my mind and shocked me with ideas and imagination. It’s not just a sci-fi action movie, it’s a classic and potent revelation film.

The entire idea of the Matrix is shocking, startling, and so enticing to explore. Conspiracies, secret societies, breaking cages around the mind built by the world–this movie will do so much for you.

Again, you can make jokes about my reverence for his movie like you might with my respect for the quotes of Tyler Durden, but movies like The Matrix become huge success stories and stay in the public consciousness for years for major reasons. This is a movie that opens up your mind to see so much more than meets the eye and really think about a lot of things.


2 - The Wall (Pink Floyd)

The greatest tragedy of Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” is that not many people know this movie exists. Before I found David Lynch, before I found Donnie Darko, before all of other movies I can call Night Mind material, there was The Wall.

I can never properly express how much love I have for the entire creation of Pink Floyd’s The Wall. The album, the movie, the concert, the concept… this is a piece of my heart.

You want to talk about an abstract, surrealist art film that gets under your skin and generates a form of empathy you’ve never felt? This movie will do that. It’s tough for people who can’t even fully get into David Lynch’s more accessible stuff, but for those who know how to walk through the weird side of film, this movie will do incredible things to you.

Taken entirely from the perspective of a rock star character named Pink Floyd, we explore the inner thoughts, feelings, and guarded memories in the brain of a superstar musician who stumbled his way into fame after a life of suffering, loneliness, and disconnection with human beings. If you ever wanted to dive headfirst into the psyche of a troubled celebrity with a major artistic bend, this is your chance. And it is, of course, all set to the awesome music of the classic concept album.

If I were going to hand you guys an official Night Mind challenge, it would be tackling The Wall and coming back to explain it to me. If I’ve managed to teach you guys anything at all through my investigation methods and explanations, you’ll be able to show me the result by interpreting this masterpiece.


1- Mulholland Drive

How did I react after watching Mulholland Drive for the first time?

I did something I never do after watching a movie:

I thought to myself, very seriously, “I think I finally watched a perfect movie.”

And that feeling has never left me.


Mulholland Drive is the most accessible David Lynch property besides Twin Peaks. If you watch it, you’ll understand it, even if you don’t fully get it. If you pay attention watching the movie and feel what’s coming across, even if you have no idea what the ending actually was or what it meant, you’ll still understand perfectly what it’s trying to convey, and that’s a flawless victory for a David Lynch piece.

I’ll warn you now: if you watch this movie, it’s going to hurt you. It will do things to you that you don’t expect. Watch it alone if you can, and watch it entirely, seriously, with full focus and an isolated atmosphere. Don’t let anything get in the way of your experience or interrupt your viewing.

Like The Wall, this is a Night Mind challenge movie. And like The Wall, it’s not an emotionally or mentally easy piece to experience. But if you want to inject art straight into your brain and give yourself emotional heart palpitations, this is the film for you.

And yes, it’s a puzzlebox, because it is a David Lynch piece. But even without putting all the pieces together, you’ll see enough of the picture to feel the weight of what it represents. 

If you’re a crying kind of person when it comes to certain movies, then get the tissues ready and a pillow. Hold on tight.

Mulholland Drive is an important film–one of the most important films I’ve ever seen. And after seeing Eraserhead as my introduction to David Lynch, which pissed me off entirely and made me think Lynch was just some overly artsy hack, Mulholland Drive made me fall in love with the man’s brain and revere him.

Hate and laughter against a director to love and ultimate respect in a single movie–that’s the power of Mulholland Drive.

—————————————————————-

And those are my top five! I have a lot more movies I love and respect, but these are the ones I feel deserve to be shared and given their positions here.

And… wow, I’m seriously bad at thinking of quotes. I’m sorry, haha. Hope the list suffices!

Hamilton Fic: What happened in Broadway

Author’s note: heyyyy there!! I’m a new blog here in tumblr and I am very excited to post my first hamilton fic!!! Just a few warnings: some grammar may be bad, the writing itself is not amazing since I’m not a professional writer so please keep that in mind. This fic is an idea I spontaneously had so I don’t know if there’s going to be any pairings, so don’t search for daveed x reader or similars because there’s none (by now, they’ll probably be) It’s just an original idea of mine. So yup! enjoy! (And be kind about it plsss!!!)

Words: 1,654

Prompt: you just got in the Hamilton cast!! Quickly, pack your stuff, you’re starting next week! A dream come true. You’re going to be in the greatest city in the world!

Warnings: none

| Chapter 2 |  | Chapter 3 |

•—•—•—•—•—•

Chapter One: Greatest City in the world

I could not believe what just happened.

“You got in!” — my friends cheered loudly. — “You’re going to New York!”

I was going to be a part of Hamilton! My career had just started and I was already at the top. How could this possibly be? How could I be so lucky? I guess all the years of theatre and working hard had been worth it.

I stood froze for what might’ve been a solid 30 seconds.

“(Y/N) (Y/SN)? Are you still there?”

My friends looked at me excitedly and gestured me to come back to reality and answer the phone.

“Y-yeah, I’m sorry. I was just shocked. Um-”
“You are starting next week and we need you to be here by wednesday. We can help you get an apartment in the city. I remind you you principally have a 6 month contract which of course can be extended if you work hard. We’ll send you a message as soon as we can to give you the details of the flight. Congratulations once again.”
“Uh, thanks.”— I managed to say before the person on the other side hung up.

I looked over at my friends once again. I noticed the tears from happiness forming in my eyes, and they started cheering as loud as they could again, hugging me as hard as possible.

This was happening. My dream had come true.

Keep reading

Famous Last Words

Summary: In a world where the last words your soulmate will say to you are written on your wrist, fearful and introverted Phil works in a bookstore. His greatest fear? The words counting down the seconds until he meet his soulmate, someone called ‘Dan.’ But it isn’t until he befriends a university student that he nicknames ‘Bear’ that Phil realizes that surviving through fear isn’t the same as living.

A/N: So after taking last week off to write BSOCV and recover from writers block, FLW is back to it’s Sunday schedule–at least for now as it may or may not go on hiatus in the next couple of weeks.

                      Previous Chapter             Masterpost   Next Chapter


Chapter Seven

     Normally, Phil tried to avoid car trips as much as possible. While he didn’t have motion sickness exactly, there was something about being trapped in a moving vehicle for hours on end that turned his stomach. He rationalized this particular car trip as time spent with Bear, which he privately thought was more than enough compensation.

    Regardless if Bear made the trip worth it or not, the fact of Phil’s car sickness remained the same.  

    “If you’re going to be sick I’ll roll down the window and be sick to that side please,” Bear said, glancing over at him as Phil winced and squeezed his eyes closed. “I’ll be in actual danger of murder if you vomit over my my mum’s car”

    “I’m not going to be sick,” Phil managed with some difficulty. He cleared his throat, wincing as the car hit another bump. Out of all the lovely and easily accessible places to live, it was a shame that Bear’s friends had to live in the countryside. While it fit the description of being lovely, the roads weren’t exactly what Phil would call easily accessible.

   “If it’s about my driving I passed my test,” Bear raised an eyebrow, smirking. “After the seventh time or so.”

   “Please tell me you’re joking.”

    Bear snorted. “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” he said sarcastically as he turned the next bend. “Yes, obviously I passed the first time. Do you honestly think either of my parents would let me within three feet of the steering wheel otherwise? Why, do you want me to pull over and you can take control?”

     Phil opened his mouth to answer when they drove over another pothole. His mouth snapped shut abruptly and he almost bit off his tongue. “You did that one on purpose.”

     “It’s not my fault they haven’t gotten around to paving the roads yet,” Bear grumbled.

     “You sound like my mum,” Phil remarked.

      “Unlike your mum though, I’m not easy,” Bear said with a smirk.

Keep reading

#BrainDump

Ok. It’s been about a week. The long and the short of it? I don’t really feel anything. What does that mean exactly? I have no idea. I thought for sure I’d have a mental breakdown by now. I even shuffled around my calendar to allow time for it to happen. Maybe a decade plus of dealing with my many particular idiosyncrasies (addictions and disorders) have finally landed me in that constant zen-like state I so desperately craved. Or maybe I’m in serious denial. Or maybe this is a perfectly acceptable way to feel: Not feeling. I don’t know.

I used to joke with Josh all the time that I could take or leave the band. I was very “whatever” about it. Perhaps the word is: Flippant. It would enrage him. Makes sense seeing as he was the guy who did literally all of the behind the scenes work for the band, in addition to being one hell of a writer. If I remember correctly (and don’t believe a word of anything I try to recall from memory) this mentality continued through at least the first two MCS records, if not the third. Somewhere around 2010 I finally started to refer to myself as a Musician on those entrance and exit cards while traveling abroad, instead of: “Failed Filmmaker.”

I love writing songs. Even more than that I love telling stories. Even more than that I love having an idea, discovering where it starts and ends, and then figuring out how to string it all together. Often times the story shifts on you and refuses to go where you want it to. That’s when you really have to get creative. But it all takes time. Time alone. Alone in a room. A place of your design. Alone with your thoughts and anti-thoughts. Alone in silence and song. It’s almost meditative for me. I listen to the same parts of the demo over and over and over… And I just throw shit at the wall until something sticks (figuratively). But I love this time alone, being frustrated and unable to figure it out… Until eventually I do.

Apologies if this is fragmented. My mind feels fragmented. I feel at any given minute I might explode into a million little pieces. But I know that’s not going to happen. I think it is just me being aware of my anxieties and acknowledging them and then quickly moving on.

What is the point of this? I am not absolutely certain. But I think it starts with me vomiting out all my current thoughts and not-thoughts for any of you who dig reading the thoughts or not-thoughts of someone like me. I’m trying to get better at spontaneity and imperfection. So I’m not going to rewrite this. I’m just going to let it all spill out.

Performing on stage has never been a fully enjoyable experience for me. I’m too in my head to enjoy it like most people claim to. I never seem to have enough of a voice to sing the way I wish I could, and I cannot seem to remember guitar parts or words to my own songs if I go more than a week without playing them. I’m constantly shifting the way I do things while I’m doing them, based on what just happened or didn’t just happen on the last verse, chorus, song, etc… I really wish I could just play and sing without having to do crazy math equations in my head, and just look into the audience and make connections with people in the moment. But instead I am made up of equal parts fear and anxiety, masquerading as someone who is 100% chill and appears to have it totally together.

As I reread everything I’ve just written, I think to myself, “this guys sucks.” I don’t mean to come off as an ungrateful prick who is complaining about getting to play music for nearly 15 years FOR A LIVING. I mean just the opposite of that. And I’ll try to get to it now.

It’s no secret I don’t have the greatest image of myself (I mean, jesus, just listen to the words of any of our songs.) And I have no idea why that is. My parents were wonderful. I had a great childhood. High school both sucked and didn’t suck, but for the most part I have NOTHING to complain about. Yet, somehow I felt broken. And for a while that really messed me up. I thought there was something wrong with me and it sort of fed into this cycle of self-defeating behavior. Alcohol seemed to work for a while. It worked through the writing of the first album for sure. I continued to struggle with both alcohol and myself for two to three more records.

Eventually I accepted EVERYTHING sometime around 2011. Things were very dark though. I was obsessed with death and felt like I wasn’t in my body. That probably sounds weird. What I mean is, I felt as though I were floating through life, almost watching my life through my eyes as though it were someone else’s, like a film or something. Also, it felt like the colors of the world were brighter and each breath I took contained more oxygen than normal. It’s hard to explain… And now I kind of wished I hadn’t tried to. I sound like a lunatic.

It wasn’t until we started writing and recording Panic Stations that I finally found I could revisit old feelings and scenes from my life without being too affected by them. I had been working at this thing (Sobriety, Living in the moment, Self-love, Not being an asshole, etc…) for years and it was finally paying off. I had become an almost complete person. Hell, ten years ago I was playing a show in Scotland and messed up and started crying on stage. CRYING. In the middle of the set. The last few years I started screwing up left and right and was able to finally shake it off and start over (mentally) from whatever moment the screw up occurred.

I know this kind of contradicts something I wrote a few paragraphs back, but it doesn’t. Trust me. I’m about to get to the good stuff. And perhaps the point of all this.

I am most comfortable when I am alone, or with my family; my wife, my kid, my siblings, my parents, or one or two friends at a time MAXIMUM. Taken out of that, I find it hard to be completely authentic. I get too worried, anxious, nervous, fearful, etc… I know that I can play guitar. I know that I can sing. I know that I can hold a conversation. I just wish I were better at all of the above than I actually am. And that’s its own sad kind of constant.

A few years ago I started paying attention to the internet. Twitter, Facebook, emails, etc… I started reading and responding to messages form people who dug the music I was making. It was LIFE CHANGING. Aside from finally being able to communicate with others and hear their stories (post shows I would always be silent in order to preserve the voice I was constantly losing), I was actually learning a lot about myself through their interpretations of my music. Does that make any sense?

It had never occurred to me that I might be bipolar or have panic attacks. I thought several days literally laying on the floor unable to move after several days of incredible creative outbursts was just normal. Or that it was a fear of heights that caused my heart to palpitate and my hands to sweat before every flight, and that several glasses of scotch was the only cure.

I have not been diagnosed with anything by any doctors, and by the time I started reading these messages I had already worked through most of my issues by sheer force of will. Which either means I am a fucking superhero, or my problems were not that big to begin with. Or perhaps, and more likely, things fell somewhere between these two extremes.

More than anything, the last few years have been full of wonderful correspondences with incredible humans all over the world. I’ve read stories about the fucked up things that have happened to you, listened to your bands, declined your wedding invites, recorded awkward messages for your sisters and brothers, given terrible advice, given not-so-terrible advice, advised you not to listen to just one person’s advice (which in itself is one wicked conundrum), but most of all I’ve healed a part of me I forgot was broken.

Being alone all the time is great, but it is important to come up for air every now and again. And I’m not advocating that you need to go outside and run around. Hell no. The sun is for suckers. I’m just saying that it’s good for the soul to just listen to people. Let them tell you about themselves. Let them ask you questions. Let yourself respond to them as honestly as you can in the moment. Be there for a complete stranger.

You’ll have no idea how much our conversations have meant to me over the years. I hope that they don’t stop coming. I apologize for the drought in responses in both actual mail and electronic mail. I aim to start responding to all later this week. You see, I was anticipating a mental breakdown…

Which brings me back to Doe. A deer? A female deer.

The truth is, I’ve been bursting into tears spontaneously out of nowhere. No reason. And no feelings attached to it that I’m aware of. I’ll be mowing the lawn or seal-coating the driveway or emptying out the dishwasher and suddenly I’ll just start crying. IT’S FUCKING WEIRD. I’m comfortable enough with myself to just let it happen, but I am bummed that I don’t have any feelings associated with it. Any psychiatrists out there? Just kidding (but not really).

Did I mention I somehow graduated from high school without ever having learned how to write a proper paper? Can I file this post under poetry? Or claim artistic license or shenanigans? How exactly does shenanigans work? (Rhetorical).

My best attempt at psychoanalysis is this:

I’ve created unattainable goals for myself as a performer and a human which, without fail, I always fall short of. This allows me to focus on my shortcomings (and how to overcome them) rather than dealing with having any real feelings about things, one way or the other.

Maybe now the non-feeling feelings are all coming up. After a lifetime of muscling my way through things, now not having things to muscle through, I’m left to deal with the feelings I’ve refused to have to begin with.

Or maybe it’s more simple than that.

Maybe I’m strangely mourning the loss of identity. For what feels like my entire life I’ve been identified one way, as “that guy with the hair who…” And now that’s gone and I need to find a new identity. But it’s not really gone. And I don’t care to find a new identity. I’m totally fine being known as “that guy with the hair who…”

But things are different now. And the weight of that is everywhere.

In summation, I just want to thank you for digging the tunes that we made, and for coming out to shows, and for sharing your stories with me. Despite all of my overthinkingness, I have had an incredible ride. You have helped define me as a human on planet earth and I will be forever grateful for that.

Hopefully I will see you again someday, further down the river, and we can exchange tales of this and that, and learn a little something new about ourselves in the process.

Much love.

-Justin.

rabbitpi-deactivated20170126  asked:

Hey, you seem to be a batperson. Do you like Tim Drake? I am un-intruiged by him, but looking to be converted. If you like the character, tell me why? (or where? :P)

“you seem to be a batperson” what a wonderful thing to say to me i love it i  LOVE IT

so, tim… tim is a character often perceived as the blandest batkid out of the family and it seems people sometimes think of him as the least worked on, least important robin in the batman universe, a boy that if the writers forgot to include in the batman mythos altogether, nobody would notice or care. give me a minute to explain why they’re, to put it kindly, very very wrong

what i’ve always found fascinating about tim drake is the fact that, unlike the other robins, he didn’t get into this because of personal reasons. no vengeance, hatred, or some disorted view of justice rooting from tragedy was involved. his past didn’t predefine his future. dick grayson saw his parents die in front of him and is often perceived as batman’s greatest triumph, while jason todd (post-crisis because otherwise we’re just talking about dick #2) had a rough, tragedy-filled childhood and, because he never managed to overcome his anger at the world even after bruce brought him in, he ultimately died and was then dubbed “batman’s greatest failure”. stephanie, despite her short tenure, tried her best to prove her worth, to make it known that she was capable enough to play a role in batman and co’s life, however big or small, and then we have damian, batman’s biological son, who more or less had the same attitude as steph only that he was 10x times more spoiled and a lot, a lot more threatening (i imagine that happens when assassins bring you up). all of them have defining backstories that could easily support their own titles without batman’s shadow helping them be interesting, but tim? no, tim’s different. tim, at the beginning, is normal

timothy jackson drake-wayne can argueably be considered one of the most well-adjusted, well-off characters in batman comics at the time of his introduction. he was privileged enough to be able to afford housing close to the wayne manor while both of his (affectionate) parents were alive. tim was as close as any of us can relate to the robins: a batman fan. simple as that. that’s what drove him. that (and his general stubborness) is what allowed him to succesfully convince batman he needs a robin. he knew what had happened to jason and he decided, upon seeing batman wasn’t planning on having another partner, to heal him. now, here’s the thing: tim saved bruce. i can’t stress this enough. bruce, at the time, was incredibly depressed and had an even-more-than-usual destructive behaviour that could, at the very least, be described as alarming. if we leave the comic realm for a bit and pretend batman’s world is real, i sincerely don’t know how bruce would have ended up if not for tim’s intervention. probably would’ve burned out to the point of no return. tim showed him that batman will always need robin, no matter what. and then he showed him he could be just that by taking his place next to him and reintroducing him to the great world of the dynamic duo (and did a damn good job, let me tell you)

naturally, because this is dc and especially batman comics (so everything’s dark and a bird can’t take a shit on a lovely monday morning without a hawk diving in and ripping it to shreds), tim did eventually go through tragedy. he lost his dad to captain boomerang, his relationship with stephanie got turbulent at best (plus she “died”) and a bunch of other stuff that, however, didn’t stop him from being a damn good hero. i want to note here that tim also saved bruce a second time following final crisis, after darkseid shot batman with his flowery pink omega beams and propelled him to the dawn of time. when everyone, both the family and the justice league thought bruce was dead, tim never gave up (actually, not only did he not give up, he never even thought that bruce being really dead was a possible outcome. you could see dick in the background stressing over donning the cowl or not and tim was like “yah cool bruce’ll be back”). when he was eventually returned, tim was there to calm him down before bruce went all defcon 1 and did some destructive mojo timespace… things…. we won’t get into because final crisis’ aftermath distresses me

you see, just how damian wayne is robin and partner to dick grayson’s batman (let’s all please agree that the dynamics between bruce and damian as batman and robin before the new 52 were the very definition of bad family communication and i’m being modest here), tim drake is bruce wayne’s partner. that’s how i’ve always viewed it. this is not to say that the rest of the kids haven’t been great robins in their own ways, but except for the b&r team-up of bruce and damian after the reboot, tim was the one robin that seemed to work in perfect, nearly calculated harmony with bruce’s batman. and even though i loved dad and son doing their thing in the new 52, i still find tim’s robin to give me an “original” feeling to what batman and robin’s concept is like

so this is why i think tim’s a great noodle. the reason, at the same time, i can see why some people might find him uninteresting. people can have their preferences, nothing wrong with that, but i do believe he deserves to be given a shot. in case you want to give him it, here’s a reading list. the kid’s (eternally…………………………………..) 16 or 17 and can build his own damn batcomputer, we owe him at least that

Fanfic Author Appreciation Day

 So, I’m a little late to the party and I just got off from work so I’ve decided to do a fic and author rec list for Appreciation Day.. (Disclaimer: This is gonna get long because I am multi fandom, multi shipping trash, so bear with me please)

So let’s start:

Author Recommendations:

Fairy Tail

snogfairy - One of my fanfic writing senpais to be honest. Everything Philine writes is golden (especially the smuts, *cough cough*). Read everything of hers you won’t regret it, I promise.

immortalpromise Same for Carly. Like she’s soooooo good. Her writing has the ability to make you ship anything, so beware, lol. Also, A++ smut. Read all the things.

toxineena - *incoherent fangirling noises* What can I say about Neena? I hope to one day be able to put together beautiful stories like Neena’s. (Three words: SMOKE. AND. PEACHES. *fans self*)

absent-angel - Another writing senpai. My senpais are so beautiful and wonderful I swear. Her stories are absolutely fantabulous, and you lose yourself in the worlds she builds and every story is so expressly unique, I just…have no words (cries 5ever about Ignite and To the Flame).

mslead and rivendell101 - THE QUEENS OF ANGST!!! My angst writing senpais. I hope to be able to destroy emotions as beautifully as they do one day.

One Piece:

aerle - THE QUEEN OF MARCO/ACE!! If you ship MarcoAce even a little bit, go follow, now. Stop what ever you’re doing and go follow.

authenticaussie - I love her writing to death. Nari’s writing is just too awesome for words, I’m usually drowning in feels after I’ve read something she writes.

lunarshores - Another of my absolute favorite Marco/Ace writers. Go read the things, all the things.

beyondkailani - ASL trio. ASL trio. So many beautiful brotherly stories. Do yourself a favor and go bingeread all the stories.

ssjsky59 -  EPIC AUs. ASL trio. BONDS OF SEA AND FIRE. Literal literary perfection.

undanewneon - ZOSAN. ZOSAN EVERYWHERE. And I love it. It’s so beautiful.

Shingeki no Kyojin:

lyssala - ALL OF THE EREMIKA!!! Beautifully written Eremika, too. Lyssa’s fanfics are probably what moved Eremika to OTP status for me.

eremikadefensesquad - MORE EREMIKA!!!!! Perfection, literal actual perfection. A cinnamon roll that doesn’t deserve the hate she gets. 

cupofdaydream- Ok, I’m pretty much Eremika trash so you’ll have to excuse me that my third SnK rec is also one of the most talented Eremika writers as well.

Other fandoms:

fortunatelylovelytyrant - this poor smol creampuff is one of the only writers for her fandom, but her writing is really lovely, so if you like really weird crossovers, go check her out.

Naruto (really NejiTen):

aquariusgaluxy - My first introduction into the world of NejiTen and I fell in deep and never looked back. The reason why NejiTen is my only (well, one of two) Naruto OTPs. Also, Eyes Like Pale Thistle. *fans self*

Sleepy Hollow:

sneetchstar and creepingmuse - The first ever Ichabbie fics I ever read were by these two lovely people and when I tell you I fell in love, I fell in love. Ichabbie is my OTP because of these two.

jwab - SHE. AND. HE. That is all. All I have to say is go read Point of No Return. Now.

(EDIT: She and He was written by creepingmuse. My other favorite Ichabbie fic Point of No Return was written by the lovely jwab. Curse my misremembering brain!)

Wow. This is already longer than I thought it’d be. Anyway, on to the fic recs:

Keep reading