i am not strong anymore

I have finally managed to have the strength to “break up” with my abuser and I feel so drained and so free and he first tried to make it my fault and then he tried to make me feel sorry for him and I’m having none of his shit anymore and I’m tired but I am strong 🌷

I posted this on Twitter yesterday:

“Haha looks like a singlefather!AU 🙈🙈🙈 my version of Dream Daddy 😂”  (https://twitter.com/oniprince_/status/898644275545722880

Perhaps I will draw some “Dream Daddy” portraits ~ This idea came to me while I was sketching this 8DD <3 @agi92 already drew something like that, but in their younger days (soooo gorgeous): http://agi92.tumblr.com/post/163225818287/accordo-group-dating-sim-3-i-cant-believe

*11:11 pm*
I wish for hi-
No. I’m done spending all my wishes on something that will never happen. I’m tired of waiting for him to come back. I don’t need him or anyone for that matter. I am better off without him. I am my own person and I am in charge of my own happiness. So for my 11:11 wish, I wish to find the strength within in order to take control of my life and be happy. I wish to spread my wings and fly off into this beautiful world to see what lies ahead of me. I can do all of this without him, because I don’t need him in my life anymore. I am strong. I am beautiful. I am independent.
—  11:11 wishes #2
via illuminested
Showing Theon he still can be loved

Warning: fluff! Fem. reader x Theon Greyjoy

Hi guys, this is a short one-shot, somebody sent me the idea via message. I hope you like it all!

Theon Greyjoy was a broken man – you noticed it immediately. He seemed to be constantly scared of mostly everything, his voice was almost always quiet and brittle. Sometimes even his stand was crooked. But he was a handsome man, you had to admit it. Brownish, wavy hair, a young face with bright blue eyes.

You were sure, he had been a strong and self-confident man some time ago. But now, almost nothing was left of him. Of course, you knew the story about his imprisonment and you had heard rumors about what Ramsay did to him – stories too brutal to be real.

Over the last months you had talked a lot with Theon Greyjoy; you talked about your families, your dreams and hopes. One day you were both walking around the beach of Dragonstone, when he suddenly stopped. As you glanced at him, you saw tears in his eyes.

“Theon!”, you said in surprise. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m a fool, (Y/N)”, he answered so quietly that you could barely understand him.

“What? A fool? Why do you think that?” You placed your hand at his arm and squeezed it slightly.

“I did terrible mistakes. Mistakes, I still regret. I wish I could turn back time.”

“We all do mistakes.” Theon shook his head.

“No. Not as bad as my mistakes. You will never understand me.” He sobbed. “Euron has my sister, Yara. I betrayed her. When Euron took her, I fled.”

“Well, but you can save her now, right? If Euron had caught you as well, there would be nobody to save you two. But now you can save Yara.”

“No. I can’t save her. I’m too weak, (Y/N).”

“This is not true.” You took his hands and stood in front of him. “Theon, look at me. You are not weak. You are strong. You will rescue your sister.” He nodded slowly.

“I will rescue her”, he repeated.

“And I will help you.”
“No. That’s too dangerous for you. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to lose you too, Theon.” You hugged him, feeling his warm body pressing against yours as he wrapped his arms around you. You turned around and stared at the ocean.

“The sunset is beautiful”, you said softly.

“Almost as beautiful as you”, Theon answered a little bit shyly. You looked at him again, before you decided to kiss him. His lips were warm and soft, his tongue as well. You stroke his hair, but all of a sudden he pushed you away.

“We can’t do this.”
“Why not? I know, that you are worried about your sister, but you can’t save her today. You should wait until tomorrow and start your journey – “ Theon interrupted you:

“(Y/N), you don’t understand. Leave me alone. Please.” His words were harsh, but you know they weren’t meant to be. You also don’t wanted to leave him alone. But what else could you do? He didn’t wanted to see you, obviously. So you left, but you were still thinking about him, when you lied in your bed that night. Please wait for me, Theon, you thought. There is something important I need to tell you before you sail to King’s Landing.

You wanted to tell him, that you felt something for him. There was a deep and warm feeling inside of your heart, every time Theon was around. You admired him. Maybe the rumors are true, you thought. Then Theon would be a eunuch. But did this really played a role? He still was Theon Greyjoy, and you still would love him. He was handsome, he was kind, and he was strong, even if he didn’t believed it himself. But you know he was.

You barely slept this night. You were worried and scared. What if Theorn wouldn’t return from King’s Landing? What if he was captured again? I will rescue him, and also his sister. Of course, it was ridiculous. You had no idea how to fight or how to navigate a ship. But for Theon you would do anything.

You met Theon again the next day, just before he wanted to leave.

“Theon”, you addressed him. “I need to tell you something.” He pressed his lips together, staring away.

“What is it, (Y/N)?”, he asked soundless.

“I really like you. I know, it sounds crazy, and it is probably really crazy, but since I first saw you, I liked you.”

“(Y/N), I… I like you too. But there is something I need to tell you. And after that you… You don’t like me anymore.” You took his hand.

“Theon, I already know everything. I don’t care about it.”

“B-But I am no man anymore.”

“Of course you are! You are strong, brave – You just need to believe in yourself again. You are Theon Greyjoy! It does not play a role what’s between your legs or what’s not.”

“Do you really think so?”

You nodded and kissed him. He laid his left hand on your waist, his right one was pressing your head harder to his. It was a long and sweet kiss, your heart hammered against your chest. You two relieved slowly and smiled at each other.

“(Y/N), I am so sorry, but I need to go. Yara needs me”, he said to you and his smiled disappeared from his face.

“I know. I wish you all the best. Please, be careful.”, you answered, biting your own tongue, because you didn’t wanted to start crying. Theon kissed you again.

“I will come back, I promise.”

“Yes. And then we are finally together, right?” He nodded slightly.

“We will. You will be my wife, (Y/N). I am your husband, if you want so.”

“I do want it.” You kissed his cheek and hugged him one last time before he turned around and left.

Oneshot #48 Half a heart

Albus ran to his new dormitory slamming the door shut. He clutched to his pillow tightly, watching life fade away to darkness.

A part of him lost the desire to move, breathe or even speak. Everything was meaningless.

Seconds felt like years. Hours felt like decades. For the first time, he was incomplete.

He grabbed a black marker to begin writing. Releasing these empty thoughts felt right.

“What happens when you are destroyed beyond recognition, when the person you thought you were is just a figment of imagination? Why am I merely existing yet feel trapped as if I am not here at all? How can life be so cruel to a point where the world becomes nothing? Most importantly, why was my other half ripped away from me? Maybe people find ways to live but for someone like myself, if I don’t have Scorpius, I am not real.”

Being strong reaches a limit. It’s not a choice anymore. Albus couldn’t help the tears running down his cheeks. He cried more than he could count.

A picture of Scorpius landed on his face. He sniffled, tears sliding down on the photo when he looked at it.

Even a knock on the door didn’t grab his attention. “Albus, it’s professor McGonagall. Are you okay?” She asked, concerned.

No response came to her. She sighed before opening the door with her wand. “Albus?” She called his name.

When she didn’t receive an answer, she approached him noticing the piece of paper with words. She read it to herself, feeling a bit worried.

“You can talk to me. I know how much you miss Scorpius.” Keeping the two boys separate devastated her.

Albus had his back turned toward her. The mention of Scorpius killed him.

Finally, once he calmed, Albus turned to face professor McGonagall. “There isn’t much I can say. I don’t need your pity.” He didn’t sound happy at all.

“Very well. I’ll be going now. I hope you feel better.” She exited the dorm, heading off to do her own business.

Getting out of his bed took courage . He headed to the astronomy tower for a while to think without distractions.

By the time he reached the stairs to head back to his dormitory, Scorpius was around.

The two staircases pulled apart and back together again. Albus and Scorpius exchanged looks.

Both staircases went in opposite directions. Albus glanced at Scorpius, hurt and in despair. He was hopeless.

Scorpius returned the look, heartbroken. He tried his hardest not to cry.

Very slightly, the staircases moved toward each other creating tension between both of them. Albus stared at the ground and back at Scorpius.

There was a longing to touch if just for a moment. Scorpius contemplated jumping over to Albus for a hug.

Again, the stairs drifted off in different directions while Albus and Scorpius made eye contact the entire time.

Albus’s staircase moved closer and he took it very lightly. Next, Scorpius’s staircase moved closer, just an inch.

Neither one said anything. Just complete and utter silence remained in the room.

Somewhere in between their longing for each other, weakness took over their body dropping them to the floor.

Scorpius wanted to be near him. Albus wanted the same.

They lied on the stairs facing one another with an overwhelming coldness body temperate.

If it was up to them, they would stay like this forever. Having each other’s presence was like heaven sent.

Before long, Albus jumped over the opposite staircase running to Scorpius.

He gave Scorpius a mini hug knowing there won’t be a next time. Scorpius froze.

Albus jumped back to his staircase lying on the stairs.

Scorpius had to make a decision and quick. He stood up, jumping to Albus.

He helped Albus to stand, turned him around and gave him an everlasting kiss. “I love you.” Scorpius returned to his stairs.

Those are the last words Albus heard before the stairs parted.

In the very depths of my soul, I know that I am a good person who strives to be better and treat people with all the love and respect they deserve. I know this. I know this to be true when I am not sure of anything else and for that, I am grateful. I am grateful for people who have made sure that I remembered this when it felt like I was forgetting this truth about myself.

I am a good person and no one can manipulate me into believing otherwise. 

I started out wanting to develop a comic-y coloring style. Then I threw caution to the wind and added a gradient and it was all over from there.

anonymous asked:

Sea, I feel so disconnected with Harry right now :( Louis stunts are way more problematic, I know, but I see him fighting. He looks uncofortable when some topics are brought up, and he continues to SBB his way through life like posting a picture zoomed in on the dagger, wearing t-shirts that COULD mean certain things and it's obvious he hasn't chose his promo because NOBODY would want this promo, he even mentions Harry. AND most important, he doesn't hesitate when he has to engage with fans (1)

But with Harry, I feel like I am not welcomed anymore. He has it everything professionally: Sony has gone strong with him, he has done amazing with Dunkiirk, BUT it feels like fans we are not wanted anymore. He didn’t thank his TCA wins, he has stopped posting shady lyrics or showing in the way he knows that he is not okay with his situation. It seems that he is 100% okay with how things are handled and I struggle sometimes (I still can’t listen to Carolina). He is the most disconnected (2)
from the boys, and he still won’t mention Louis at all, and it’s something deliberate. It seems like they don’t want to step near Louis situation at all, which I get it because it’s too messy, but there are things that could have been avoided, like being papped with fans at the airport just after Louis arrest after more than a year without doing it or being papped shoping at gucci that horrible day in december. (3)//

________

Hi,

I understand how you feel. I think it’s been clear for a while that Harry wants his private life to be seen as little as possible, and to have engagement through indirect means, through close friends and family who will perform the SM engagement for him.

I agree with a lot of the points in this post:

http://geneticistlarrie.tumblr.com/post/164293723818/harrys-team-is-the-worst-l-i-cant-believe-im

When Harry is in front of an audience, he is charming, engaging, sparkling, impeccable, but he is a conundrum, a sphinx, and he gives nothing away.

The Harry Styles™ promoted by HSHQ is a celebrity buffet, ambiguous, a little something for everyone. Harry himself doesn’t engage; his private life stays private; his music gets toured, his movies get seen, he shows up when needed, and that’s it.

Psychologically Harry is protected, and perhaps that’s what he needs, after 1D. He’s not Louis. I don’t think we can expect what we see with Louis from Harry or his team.

anonymous asked:

Ame-san, can you translate this tweet by Mafumafu "都合よい時だけ使われて陰で悪口を言われてきて 気づかないフリしてきたけどさすがにもう", please? Thanks a lot!

Mafumafu: I’ve just been used by others at their convenience and trash-talked in the shadows….I’ve pretended not to notice, but it’s gone too far…

(A few minutes later)

Mafumafu: I’m going to go add bath salts to my bath and soak for a while to relax…maybe once I’m refreshed I’ll write a new song…I haven’t expressed my feelings in a while, which is probably why I was feeling so depressed! That’s not good!

9

Books read in 2017: Dreadnought by April Daniels

I see a world that is terrified of me. Terrified of someone who would reject manhood. Terrified of a girl who knows who she is and what she’s capable of. They are small, and they are weak, and they will not hurt me ever again. My name is Danielle Tozer. I am a girl. No one is strong enough to take that from me anymore.

My boyfriend and I broke up and it’s been really hard. I was with him for a year and a half. I went to talk to my therapist today and I told her I couldn’t listen to music because everything reminded me of him. She stopped me right then and said, “Amanda. You love Taylor Swift and always have. She defines a part of you. Do not let someone take that away from you.” and that hit me really hard. I won’t let him tear me down anymore. I am strong.

anonymous asked:

Hey. I originally identified as bi but lately gone by lesbian. Because I like girls and have no problem with the idea of sex with girls but with guys HELL NO! But I'm still attracted to some guys and have had strong feelings for one last year. Idk what I am anymore. Help?

Maybe you’re bi with a strong preference towards women. It’s also possible to experience romantic attraction to men while not having sexual feelings towards them! Don’t stress yourself out with labels for now. Just figure things out and the right terms will come out of the woodwork.