i am not making any of this up

anonymous asked:

um any tips on how to survive your first antipocalypse??? (no seriously I need help I can take this p l e a s e)

I WASNT ACTUALLY AN ACTIVE MEMBER IN THE ANTIPOCOLYPSE LMAO SO IM A VIRGIN I GUESS

but as someone who stood on the sidelines, here’s what I did.

1.) make sure you have someone you can endlessly spam about it. You’re going to need it, otherwise your energy will overspill and you’ll end up ranting to someone who has NO idea.

2.) caffeine. Jack will post shit at 3 AM and then go to bed BUT NO ONE WILL KNOW IF HE’S ACTUALLY STILL UP SO WE’LL KEEP WAITING FOR SOMETHING ELSE. You will get approximately 0 sleep.

3.) Tissues. Oh, and get ready to scream a lot.

4.) good internet speed because theories will start flying at 10000 miles a second and if you blink someone will have already proven their theory to be canon and have ascended to the next plane of theorist existence.

5.) Lots of memes to try and combat the glitch bitch… (though glitch bitch was our staple last time, we ended up getting called out for it in the end… be careful.)

6.) CTRL-U is the most fucking important keyboard command because you need to STUDY those tags AND MAKE SURE YOU GO BACK BECAUSE THAT SON OF A BITCH WILL CHANGE THEM.

7.) It is also customary for people to open a theorists bunker. They are open to anyone, and usually, involve comforting reblog chains of puppies, pillows and warm stuff to help you forget that everyone is in deep fucking pain and 99% of the population is craving the grim reaper himself to carry them bridal style across the sweet sweet fucking release of death. While this isn’t much, these bunkers are ESSENTIAL to surviving.

8.) GET READY TO HIT THE POST LIMIT. 200 POSTS MAX PER DAY BUT YOU’LL OFTEN FIND PEOPLE HITTING IT WITHIN A FEW HOURS. TRY PACE YOURSELF BUT WITH THE AMOUNT YOU’LL BE REBLOGGING I WOULDN’T HAVE HOPE BOY

9.) LOSE ALL SANITY

10.) Cry when it’s over.

anonymous asked:

Mmmmmm okay you have probaBLY been asked this 100pppp09372929998x times but wh a t DO YOu use to draw?? Like program wise?? 2) ugHhGh shIT YOUR ART MAKE ME GAY ITS SO SEXIIIIII FUCJFHHF I AM NOT EXAGGERATING WHEN I SAY I LITERALLY WAS TEARING UP WHILE LOOKING AT IT BECAUSE ITS SO FUCKINGN GOO O D AAAA

I use Paint Tool SAI! And sometimes I’ll use Photoshop for any text or last minute edits.

Uhh, other art asks I’ve gotten while I’m doing this:

What canvas size do you normally use?

B5, 300dpi (2139 x 3035 pixel)

Brush settings?

Other art tutorials and tips I’ve made!!

THANKS FOR LIKIN MY ART DUDE u rock

les amis as @johnmulaneybot tweets
  • Enjolras: I don't look older I just look angry.
  • Grantaire: Excuse me. I am dangerous. I am bisexual. I have Depression. I'm new in town.
  • Combeferre: Everybody, out of my way! I just want to sit here and try to solve a conspiracy.
  • Bahorel: And I thought 'You have your law practice and me, I have all these fuckin' markers.' And then I woke up at home.
  • Courfeyrac: Because a gay man who speaks in rhyme never forgets a bitch.
  • Jehan: Everybody, out of my way! I just want to sit here and hold joints like they're a skull in a Shakespeare play.
  • Joly: Excuse me. I am tall. I am gay. I have a mild cold. I'm new in town.
  • Bossuet: Aw babe, tonight is going great, but do you know what would make it perfect? A mariachi band.
  • Feuilly: To quote any man who does his job, 'You can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.'
  • Marius: Hey would you help me out I'm very sensitive, I'd like a few dollars.
  • bonus JVJ: Because the Catholic church never forgets a bitch.
  • bonus bonus montparnasse: Hey would you help me out I'm very magnificent, I'd like a few dollars.

anonymous asked:

College AU: Richie somehow lands a date with this foreign girl from an ESL course. Since they can't communicate very well on their own, he hires Stan as an interpreter. Richie keeps trying to say puns and pick up lines. Stan becomes increasingly annoyed, telling him over and over that won't make any sense in the other language. "Then what am I paying you for, Stanley?" "Well, I can't change the language to accommodate you, Tozier." They keep arguing while the girl sits there confused. 1/2

^^^

me: I am very good at this thing. the set of values set up around that thing is fake & being good at this thing doesn’t make me better than anyone else but I am still good at it ^_^

like three people over the past week: you evil stuck-up bitch. you boasting hag. try being humble you bragging conceited piece of shit. how daRE YOU. HOW DARE YOU.

Please Read My Tags Before Reading My Fics. And, you know, be of age. Make good choices. Etc.

I just had the pleasure of having to respond to a comment from a concerned reader who was disturbed by one of my fics (from a previous fandom where, ironically, I wrote far more TAME stuff). And while I know YOU guys already know it, there’s 700+ of you now, so this is just a general disclaimer to please read my tags when on AO3 before reading any of my content, because I know a lot of it is weird or fucked up or unhealthy. And if you’re on Tumblr, I try to put Warnings on the top of posts that have any cringe-worthy kinks involved.

Moving forward, I’m going to try and tag even more. But yea. Please read the tags. 

50shadesofwheeze  asked:

For the next part!1!1!1 Try doing 1 and 8 in the same part 😏 the sadder this is, the happier I am (not really)

i promised you that if i do my job right, i’m going to make you cry. lemme know how i do ;)

part one - part two - part three

1: give me a chance

8: I don’t need you anymore


Shane walked into the room where they shoot Post Mortems with an overwhelming sense of dread. He silently thanked every god that there ever was and ever will be that they pre-film all the season’s episodes.

He sat down and pulled up the questions on his phone. He wasn’t sure if Ryan had picked out any questions, and there was no way he’d be able to spend time in a room alone with Ryan as he scrolled through pages of questions oblivious to the situation at hand.

Ryan walked in a few minutes later, a fake smile plastered to his face.

Shane cleared his throat. “Hey.”

Ryan looked over at him, taking his seat next to Shane. He didn’t say anything, just took out his phone and pulled up his photos.

“I picked out some questions,” Ryan said shortly. “I can do most of the talking.”

Shane sighed, trying to ignore the disappointment that filled his gut. He knew he shouldn’t have even considered the idea that Ryan would be ok with all of this, but he did anyway.

“Could you just give me a chance?” Shane asked, desperation filling his lungs.

“I am. That’s why I haven’t kicked you off of this show,” Ryan growled, his hands curled into fists at his sides.


Shane stopped, putting his phone back into his pocket and avoiding Ryan’s eyes.

“Let’s just start this,” Shane whispered, standing to turn on the camera.

Ryan took a deep breath and put the smile back on his face. “Welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved Postmortem, a show where we answering your most pressing questions about the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved which wa - …”

Shane zoned out as Ryan started the episode, his mind racing and trying to calm his nerves.

Shane felt Ryan kick his leg from under the table and he turned his attention back on the video.

“Um yeah what?” Shane asked trying to focus on the show.

Ryan sighed and put his phone down. “This isn’t going to work.”

Shane looked over at Ryan, confused. “What do you mean? I thought we decided to put aside whatever is happening for the show?”

Ryan shook his head. “We did but it’s not working. I don’t need you anymore. I’ll just find a new host. Just… leave me alone. Please.”

Ryan didn’t sound angry anymore, and when Shane looked at him, he saw the amount of sadness in the other man’s eyes.

“Ryan…” Shane started, but Ryan cut him off.

“Please, just leave.”

Shane stood up, letting his body take him out of the room. He walked to his desk and grabbed his computer, put it in his bag, and walked out of the office.

He made it all the way to his car before his emotions took over. He slammed the door as he got in and started to cry. It was all over.


i’m making myself sad i’m going to try and break your heart

send me something from here if you want a ficlet

11 Things questions

Tagged by @ludoprotectionsquad

Rules! Answer 11 questions, make up 11 questions of your own, and tag 11 people.

1.Favorite movie?

Right now,Wonder Woman is the shit in my house!!!!

2. Any pets?

Two cats Tiger and Tiny.

3. Who do you favor more, heroes or villains? Villains, they have more compelling backstories. And some of them are gay.

4. Do you write or draw?Draw all the way. I cant write for shit.

5. If you could have any super power, what would it be? Superstrength. I am stronk as it is anyways.

6. Dreamworks or Disney? Disney. I love songing the songs from disney.

7. Do you have a fandom you have long stuck to, even if it’s old or not active anymore? Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I still love it.

8. Favorite video game?

Overwatch

9. Have you ever visited another country? If not, where would you want to go? I really want to go to Germany.

10. What’s your favorite food to snack on? Salt and vinegar chips and Dr.pepper

11. Are you more of a introvert or and extrovert? Extrovert, i love meeting new people.


Questions for you:

1.Favorite Family member?

2.Math or Band

3.Favorite Youtuber?

4.First Fandom?

5.Favorite Character you would kill for?

6.Doritos or Lays?

7.Christmas or your Birthday?

8.Who or what made you realize your sexuality?

9.Favorite Meme?

10.Favorite type of tea or coffee?

11.Can i hug you?

Tagged are:@indi-draws @so-help-me-god-i-will-cut-you @sushi-shitbombs @purplepotatomunv

Where have i been?

So as most of you know i havent posting for 2 or 3 weeks now. The only activity you’ve gotten from me is that one repub yesterday. I’m making this post to clarify any sort of confusion.

First of all:

  1. I am not dead
  2. I am not quitting
  3. I havent forgotten about this tumblr or my ask blog
  4. I havent stopped drawing

(Made this several days ago in fact)

Why have you been gone?

There are a lot of reasons why i havent been active, but i’ll try to sum it up:

  1. School
  2. Tf2 (that game is L I T)
  3. Slight art block
  4. Stress
  5. “Best stuff first”
  6. “Net neutrality”
  7. Currently experiencing an identity crisis
  8. Just not feeling well in general

(If you want to know more and/or want to talk/help hmu on tumblr.)

When are you returning?

Possibly this weekend. Not 100% certain though.

I hope this post has helped in some way.

aliz-ard  asked:

Questioning NB: binder question that maybe you or your followers may be able to help me with. I have a very large chest and I am not getting the results I hoped for with a binder, I have tried a few types (underworks, gc2b and even a custom shapeshifters one) but they all tend to have the same problem of pushing everything up. I understand and am realistic about the fact that a binder will never make me flat but are there any tricks or brands that y’all have found that help keep your chest down?

Hi! So i only have a gc2b binder and i have this issue as well. I dont really have any tips except just dooont look down (impossible i know). Followers?

Tousute Odawara Live Stream

Am I the only one who doesn’t get any audio from the Tousute DMM stream? Or is it something caused by my own laptop? Chrome says my tab is making noises, but I hear no noises! All other tabs do make noises! It’s freaking me out a little!

Let’s hope the audio returns once the actual broadcast begins. On twitter messages are showing up that apparently there is some problem and the show will start 15 minutes late…

Discord culture

-”we should move it to #general”

-come on internet don’t give up on me rn just send this fucking message, the first one doesn’t make any sense without it, and HELL you sent it out of order, oh my god BYE I am out I am socially dead now

-???who else reacted with that emoji I NEED to know

-talking to the same person in 3 servers and 5 channels at the same time about unrelated things

-”goodnight !!!!” *only make yourself invisible to go for a last ninja stroll on tumblr/twitter/instagram/whatever before the real snooze*

-”what time is it where you are again”

-the off topic channel that becomes the busiest

-congrats!!! u successfully edited your message but the server’s shiteater already pointed out your typo

-muting the notifications at lightspeed in busy servers with 7 bots

-”I should leave some servers I am in 33 of them”

-”@everyone *irrelevant thing*


feel free to add

what keith did for one year alone in his shack

  • used to crunch on dry spaghetti for every meal
  • washed his clothes in sprite
  • ‘if there are any ghosts here tonight, can you make me sneeze?’ forces himself to sneeze 'hOLY-’
  • when there was a desert storm he would run straight at the lightning, screaming the whole time
  • labelled his water tank 'sweat’ and his gasoline tank 'water’
  • had never sworn out loud before because of authority figures. the first time he finally did, it was in a whisper and he giggled so hard he blacked out
  • had a pet rock named 'not-shiro’
  • he would talk to it and ask it questions
  • 'not-shiro, can i gargle with soap if i run out of toothpaste? you’re right, that’s stupid. i’ll use laundry detergent instead’
  • the only song he had on his iPod was the barney theme song and he would breakdance gently to it
  • found a cave full of strange lion carvings and his first instinct was to lick the walls
  • 'don’t mess with me i have a knife!!!!’
  • the desert lizard he’s threatening just blinks back at him
  • missed seeing cute boys. saw himself in a mirror and got so startled he punched it
  • found himself subconsciously spelling 'lance’ in his alphabet soup and got so mad he dunked the whole bowl on his head
  • he would write in the sand 'aliens hit me up i am single and willing’
  • took pictures of strange desert cryptids for his conspiracy board but they were just selfies
  • used his radio to listen for any news of shiro and make chewbacca noises on public channels
  • 'i don’t like sand. it’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere’
  • when he sat on his hoverbike he would pretend he was in an old spice commercial
  • every time a shooting star passed overhead he would gasp and whisper 'shiro’
  • snuck back to the garrison so he could carve 'kieth’ into all of iverson’s belongings to torment him. only realised he spelt his own name wrong after the 546th carving
  • 'snapshot this google earth!’ before he would raise his middle finger up at the sky

fic; No Place Without You

Harry’s in love with life and he’s in love with the world.

Louis’ in love with Harry and he doesn’t think there’s any way he can possibly compete.

A Wanderlust au in which Harry doesn’t have a permanent home and stays with Louis when he visits NYC.

Word Count: 19k 

on ao3 here!

uhh… i know there are rumors that the repack date is september 4th but umm… there’s literally gonna be a full moon on september 6th (09/06) which is eerily the same numbers as when the teasers were released on the day of the eclipse at 09:06:43 AM PDT so uhhh… just… keep that in mind i guess

:3c

My husband’s work is selling fudge and I told him not to buy any because it’s really easy to make. I didn’t make any right away so he was like, “If it’s so easy to make, why don’t I have any?”

…I have now made six batches of fudge in the past three days. I have a couple more batches I can make before I run out of condensed milk. Every day he comes home there is more fudge. He can’t keep up. I’m not slowing down. I may just buy more condensed milk and various flavored baking chips when I run out. Why? Because I am a passive aggressive wife and this is Fudge Wars.

2

I actually stayed up last night thinking about the bros weapons in that solarpunk/steampunk verse and came to the conclusion that I desperately want to keep the hammers. so yeah. hammers.

the way marios hammer is designed he can light it on fire anytime. luigis is actually pretty tricky bc electricity isnt as straightforward as fire, but I imagine it can jumpstart any kind of machine that runs on electricity bc nintendo logic

their secondary weapons would be something they use along with their hammers. marios is a pick (chisel) and luigis is a pair of pliers. 

yes I am invested in this why do you ask

8

quite the opposite, really