i am not different

Me no gusta feminism

I used to be a feminist, back when I got into pro-life stuff and discovered pro-life feminists and their advocacy.

But, shortly after the birth of my first daughter, I decided to drop the label. It was months in the making, as the decision came about after being exposed to many issues I discovered within the movement.

Note that this is not any kind of attack on people who find that their use of the word “feminist” best describes and helps their cause. More power to you. But I am not you, and I have different ideals and standards when it comes to political movements. I am hoping that by sharing this – as terse as this will come off at times – feminists can get a better idea of why the whole world isn’t jumping onto the bandwagon.

Use it to improve your feminist work, to point out toxic behavior in fellow activists, think I am out of my mind and think I am wrong, whatever: I don’t care. I am just grateful that someone can listen patiently.

So what is up with my disapproval of feminism?:

1) Feminism is incoherent and unstable.

Look up the definition of feminism and you get the vague explanation of how it’s about women’s equal rights/welfare. Even in the earliest days, women activists had differing ideals concerning womanhood, equality, justice, and how to achieve it all. How you define fighting for women’s rights is all dependent on what you think is best for the gender. This can range from keeping them inside all day guarded by family to enforcing the independent working woman ideal.

“But that’s not REAL feminism!!!” is often cried out when these differing actions/opinions are pointed out, and it is a pointless accusation. Feminism is what you make of it! Literally anyone can be a feminist.

There is no central leader, only leaders of various, independent feminist groups big or small; there is no central manifesto, only early writings that may or may not be looked upon, and opinionated works of different feminist philosophers; and most importantly, every individual woman will have her own unique outlook to the welfare of her sex and for her own life.

I can’t get behind a mish mash of ideas. Nor can I pretend that I am speaking for ALL women when we are all so different from one another. I need something solid, sturdy, and with a strong, unshakable foundation. Feminism just doesn’t have that.

2) It has a shady past that I can’t get over: and yes, that includes the first/second wave feminists.

First wave: benefited largely upper class white women; anti-Catholic sentiments among some prominent figures; demanded equal rights but not equal responsibility (ex: getting the right to vote but not being required to sign up for the draft); some protesters WERE violent, if I remember correctly; they also played a large role in the medicalization of birth which involved smearing campaigns against midwives, sending many women to hospitals where they were treated terribly; this same smear campaign also lead to lower income women having difficulty affording prenatal care as the more affordable homebirth midwives were made illegal. Some also were apparently hypocritical even then, as is evidenced by the famous GK Chesterton quote: “It [feminism] is mixed up with a muddled idea that women are free when they serve their employers but slaves when they help their husbands.“

Second wave: Bought into the deliberate lies about mass deaths from “back alley abortions”; lied about Jane Roe and TO her in Roe vs Wade to legalize it; the lawyer downright calling Jane Roe white trash and ignorant; were convinced that they needed birth control to be dispensed everywhere, and didn’t seem to care very much that birth control had been tested on poor, POC women and that it would discriminate against women who wanted more than one or two kids/wanted to breastfeed while working; attacked religious faiths for “sexist practices” such as veiling and lied to women of faith about their religion to convince them to protest it; I could go on because I find out more all the time but I can stop.

third wave: I don’t even have to list here. Y’all know what I am talking about. While more religious/conservative feminists have popped up, they still buy into the myth of a patriarchy and many still talk over legitimate men’s issues, or even outright mock it. Or mock people who are more conservative/religiously devout. (Looking at you, New Wave Feminists :))) )

3) The members are dangerously guillable and buy into sexist/bigoted ideals far too easily.

A lot of this ties into the last point. Feminism easily falls for the latest so-called progressive ideals without thinking how it actually affects them and others in the following generations. (Thanks for the shitty state of women’s health care!) They do not thoroughly question anything, leading to blind acceptance of any misleading factoid that shows them how oppressed they are.

The biggest example of this, for me personally, is the outright acceptance of birth control. While some feminists are questioning it these days because of its adverse affects on women’s rights, health, and its sexist/racist undertones, many still try to tout it as some kind of Savior for Womankind. The health risks and social ramifications be damned: gimme my consequence free sex!!! Because men can get sex without pregnancy so this makes us “equal” somehow!!!

And then they try to make it sound like it’s the only way to space babies and allows women to work, but never considered other more natural options that don’t shut down our fertility and do a better job of respecting women’s rights (hint hint, NFP). And the ramifications of the hook up culture? Feminists demanded that women have the right to sleep around “just like men”, and then scrambled around to come up with overly-complicated consent etiquette when they realized women were being used and even raped.

4) No, feminism doesn’t care about men. It never did and it doesn’t have to!

Christina Hoff Summers is the closest I can think of a feminist who points out men’s issues, but I haven’t heard of her trying anything to change it either other than talking about it.

Things like circumcision, male abuse, male assault, workplace deaths, and more are brushed under the rug. Try and bring men’s issues to the table at your next feminist meeting, and see how far it takes you: and all without mentioning “toxic masculinity” or “it doesn’t happen as much with men as with women”.

There is nothing wrong with having a movement focused on only one part of the human race: but it is damning to use that label, focus only on one group of people, and then pretend you speak for ALL humans.

Feminism was never meant to be a human rights movement, only a women’s rights movement. There is no shame in that. Yet they continue to act as if its the end all be all of any advocacy group ever.

This may naturally lead into intersectional feminism, which jumps into other movements such as LGBTQ, childwelfare, etc. But it only shows how feminism MUST take a legit issue and twist it around to make it about women or the patriarchy. It’s ineffective and even back-peddles progress.

5) Feminism acts like it has the monopoly on women’s rights and that I owe it my “allegiance”.

It doesn’t. It never has. I am living proof of it. For the past three years since I have dropped the label, I am still passionate about how NFP can further women’s welfare in health and relationships, and beyond. It has even led me to issues such as birthing rights, issues of working mothers, and more!

But more importantly, it opened the door to issues faced by men, and children of both genders. I even gained a newer perspective on unique issues such as gender dysphoria and racism. When I took a step back and realized that the issues were just a shitty culture from the result of many different actions/people and not necessarily one power group, I gained a much more wholesome view of humanity and its downfalls. We’re in this together as a species!

Yet, I only learned all of this outside of feminism’s rose colored glasses. Leaving feminism freed me to truly understand all this. Maybe it was different for other women, but for me and others like me, it’s very enlightening.

6) There really isn’t a patriarchy. 

idk what to put here. I never felt the overbearingness of man push me down, and I’m not going to ignore my personal experience and that of my own female family members for the sake of an accepted theory of feminism. There are certainly sexist attitudes still hanging around, but hardly because of patriarchy (in fact, I would blame mainstream feminism for parts of that, see points #2 and #3). That, and this deadbeat patriarchy theory de-legitimizes the very real issues and their source problems that men face in society.

7) Much of feminism is inherently anti-Catholic.

Y’all know I am not perfect when it comes to being Catholic, but I would rather walk through the Amazon jungle barefoot than walk with a movement that has never liked nor respected the Church since its earliest developments in the early 20th Century. (This includes lowering the role and importance of Mother Mary because of her Perpetual Virginity being “offensive” to women. :))) )

Even with some Catholics saying they are feminist because of their beliefs, I know too well that being “feminist” is not a core tenet of Catholicism. That’s just an unnecessary add on. Not to mention, the Church has been very woman-friendly since, idk, the time of Jesus? So it’s not like throwing on a political label is really improving that.

(This doesn’t mean there aren’t issues to be discussed within the Church concerning womanhood in the past or present: only that I feel feminism is an intrusion that is unnecessary at best, and blinding to the mission of the Church at worse, and the mission being: spreading the Gospels to lost souls).

Also, there is no use ignoring that a grand majority of feminists today - as well as the loudest ones - simply support practices and ideals that go against Church Teaching. You can try and “take back feminism” if you wish, but it was never “ours” to begin with, nor will Catholicism improve this unbalanced movement by inserting rosaries and “girl power” saints.

Western women face legitimate issues in our society and I am all for tackling them!

We may not be “oppressed” as angry Anti-SJWs claim, but there is still so much improvement to be made. Things like childcare and work, abortion, healthcare, etc are hot topics for a reason. They affect ME and MY DAUGHTERS as much as any woman. I am going to be a part of the solution as much as I can be! I am sure that other active women, feminist or not, understand how I find these things important.

But I can not stand by a philosophy that is jumbled up, toxic, hypocritical, lacking sense, and downplaying or denying the very real issues that the other gender face. The majority are against my ideals/way of making things work and I don’t want any part of it.

Good has come from feminism in various ways but that doesn’t change that it has done plenty of bad that I am not comfortable with. And because it’s had issues from the very beginning, there really isn’t an “original” feminism that we can revert to: it’s always had problems and will continue to have them.

If you’re feminist then have fun with that, but I ask that you consider these points whenever you question people like me for not wanting to join in. Not all of us are hateful anti-feminist narks who think western women live life in a dreamland. We just don’t like many parts and histories of the feminist movement.

Thanks for taking the time to read, it really does mean a lot.

Kink: Cumming in pants

Summary: Bucky get’s off watching you train..

Warnings: Pretty self explanatory don’t you think?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Originally posted by marvelmania15

(This gif has nothing to do with the story, I just really like it lol!)

When I got to the gym today for my daily practice sessions, I wasn’t expecting to see Bucky, my boyfriend, in there as well. Bucky usually waits till the gym is empty to make an appearance there. Today he must have made a different call. I am however, apparently not ready for what he has in store.

“Hey, (Y/N)! You ready to train? Buck won’t be a distraction will he? We can go somewhere else if he is.” I roll my eyes, Steve treats us like we’re a bunch of horny teenagers.

“I’m fine, Rogers. I think I can practise with my boyfriend in the distance, he’s not THAT gorgeous you know.” I throw a wink to Buck for the added effect. Buck rolls his eyes while Steve laughs.

“I’m gonna make you eat those words, doll.” He winks back at me.

“Bring it on, Buckaroo.” He laughs, and rolls his eyes. Steve and I resume our training, and for a while everything is going smoothly. It all changes when I see out of the corner of my eye, Bucky stick his hands down his pants….I think for a second he’s just adjusting himself, because you know men do that and shit. But…it doesn’t stop..in fact, he has a tent in his boxers, a tent that I myself am very used to seeing. I stare long enough to see his hand pumping back and forth inside his pants.

The bastard is masturbating, with his pants on while he watches me! I can only hope Steve doesn’t turn back and see this, we’d both be in serious trouble if he knew this was happening. I’m so enamored by this that I can’t look away, and Steve manages to knock me on my ass. Bucky smirks and stops, pulling his hand out of his pants and going back to lifting weights.

“What the hell was that, (Y/N)?” I roll my eyes, trying to play off the blush that’s made it’s way across my face.

“Sorry, I guess I just distracted.” I look back down on the ground, and Steve helps me up.

“Be careful, doll. You know out on the field-”

“You won’t survive being distracted, yes Steve I know.” I roll my eyes. He’s such a worry wart. I turn to look at Bucky and he smirks, winking at me.

Son of a bitch.

We go at it again, and Bucky continues to stroke himself through his pants. I don’t know what’s killing me more, the fact that he’s doing it, or the fact that I can’t actually watch him do it..

“Alright. I’ll be right back, (Y/N). I’m gonna go grab our next course. Don’t go anywhere.”

‘Oh believe me, Captain. I won’t’

Steve leaves the gym, and I turn to look at Bucky just as he finishes, and I can watch his cum leak out of the pants he’s wearing, and leak onto the floor. He looks from the floor, the cum that he’s just spilled, and up into my eyes, biting his lip.

“Well, you better get over here and clean up this mess before Steve gets back doll.” He winks, and it’s enough for my resolve to crack and run up to him, getting on my knees in front of him. I lick the cum from the tip of his jeans and he rolls his head back, moaning all the while.

“Mmm.. get back up, doll. If you kick Steve’s ass daddy’ll give you a reward tonight.” He winks at me, before strutting out the door. I can’t wait for training to be over…

PERMANENT TAG LIST: @marvel-fanfiction, @cassandras-musings, @sammnipple, @iamthemaskhewears, @fairlylocalfairies

say what you will about the live action beauty and the beast, but lemme tell ya, that scene where emma watson was closing the door on luke evans while he had his hands resting against it over hers? i would have killed to be that door okay

anonymous asked:

If a character is stuck in an abusive relationship, would it still be a No to romanticize them cheating?

So this was something I thought about before I added that to the list, and I’ve continued to think about it since, and I still don’t have a perfect answer.

Here’s what it boils down to for me:

If someone is trapped in an abusive relationship–or in a relationship they didn’t choose or don’t want to be in but can’t safely leave–and they mange to safely find someone they love who isn’t abusive, that is good. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with writing as a good thing.

That being said, I don’t think that contributes to the romanticization of cheating. At least to me, they are conceptually different issues, in large part because, when I am talking about cheating, I am referring to relationships where everyone involved has some choice in being in the relationship.

Here’s an example of how I’ve seen cheating romanticized in a story before (it’s a generic example, not from any specific story that I’m thinking of):

A woman is in a long-term relationship with a man. They fell in love but now he’s away a lot for business. She feels lonely and neglected but doesn’t talk to him about it for no clear reason. She also doesn’t leave the relationship despite being unhappy in it. One day she runs into a man she used to have romantic and/or sexual feelings for. They start talking. They have sex. They start an affair. She falls in love with him. Her significant other comes home at some unexpected time, finds out, gets angry, is presented as being the bad guy for never being around, and so of course she would find someone else to sleep with. He does or threatens something bad to her and/or leaves. She is temporarily separated from the man she’s been having an affair with but ultimately they declare their love to each other and end up together.

In this case, she had a choice to 1) talk to her SO about feeling lonely, 2) break off her relationship with her SO, 3) discuss the concept of an open relationship with her SO, or 4) do none of the above but also not engage in an affair, and instead she broke the agreement they presumably made to be monogomous and engaged in an affair.

That is a very different situation from a person in an abusive relationship they can’t safely leave finding someone who isn’t abusive.

That’s why I don’t consider them the same thing.

anonymous asked:

Omg episode 8 was so good? Bellamy having fun? Clarke being Clarke? That scene between Murphy and Clarke? Miller holding a gun on Murphy? I was so tense the whole time. I hope the mini hiatus blesses us all with lots of fanfic

SO GOOD.

Clarke being the biggest bad ass in all the world. Like this is the Clarke we know. She’s back. Thank god. If only they would stop saying Lxa was some better thing when Clarke is better now and has always been better. Lxa would have been lining people up to be experimented upon and shrugged and like, “that’s their job to sacrifice themselves for me because i am heda.” 

Clarke looked for the different option. Clarke looked for a way to do what was right, not what was right for her people. 

Murphy brilliant. Good job Richard. 

So happy to see Bellamy having fun. That was so good.

MONTY figuring out the seal. So clever.

Kane pulling on his allies and peaceful nature.

Indra setting aside her tribalism.

Roan supporting Clarke and being her muscle. Good big brother. 

Raven questioning morality instead of just what’s logical.

Abby holding firm in her ethics. Well, wavering but still. 

Poor Harper losing it.

Jasper being a voice of live in this life wisdom.

That episode killed me.

@forgivenessishardforus thanks for the tag!!! :)

Happy BFSN everyone!!!!!! I hope everyone’s had an amazing day! Hopefully everything runs smoothly in tonight’s episode *crosses fingers* because I stg if Bellamy doesn’t smile at least once before this 3 week hiatus i might actually cry (and if you’re wondering, my lips look weird because it’s dry af where i am and i’ve tried like 12 different chapsticks now that all work for a week and then just give up. any recommendations??)

Tagging: @ethereal-bellarke @skruprotocol @that-damn-booklion @bellarkelifestyle @mountainbellamy @and-so-we-meet-again @merdok1993 @bobsfluffyhair @bellsgirl @bl-ake @cullensleftbuttcheek @abazethe100 @arkadiabellarke @craterhead

am i sick? my gums ache a little with each pulse and my eyelids pull downwards. without your fingers on my hip, i sink back into sleep like a car plunging into a harbor.
 
years later, the morning sun dredges the bay and winches me back up.
—  from THINKING OF LAUDANUM, m. mccoy
In regards to the Adamantoise and Alterna

So since learning of the new ability to be able to one shot the adamantoise I have been doing some testing. Some people on the internet are saying your magic stat effects it, others saying it doesn’t. 

 From my extensive attempts at banishing the turtle to the void; your magic stat has no effect. I REPEAT. Magic stat = 0 correlation. It is pure RNG as to whether or not the kill cast lands and nothing can change that. I am saying this having done multiple runs with my magic at different levels, at its highest it was 2349 and the results of how many alternas it took were as sporadic as when it was at about 800; anything from 3 to 50+ 

 so if you intend to farm, don’t bother with the memory lane pastries or anything, just put on 200% exp or the highest you have and go to town and enjoy the beautiful Alterna animation. Even if you are looking at a high number of attempts it is still pretty quick for farming in th grand scheme of things.

 P.S if you haven’t killed the adamantoise yet I would still recommend attempting it sans ring just because it is hilarious 👍

To the person I once called a friend three years ago,

who sucked the light right out of our friendship with their negativity and deeply rooted lack of trust in me, fears projected onto me recklessly and suffocating my kindness, 

who pedestaled and idolized me after I stopped speaking to them to soften the shame while I held in everything and gaslit myself about the events that had occurred for years,

who sought closure by my partner and then by me only to run away when potentially faced with the truth and called it considerate

who is comfortable convincing themselves they’re taking the “high road” about something that’s really just basic human decency,

who still refuses to apologize for hurting me and stealing the integrity of my work that they intimately know has deep sentimental value to me- knowing in any other situation i’d overlook it because you are hardly the first or the last to do this to me- but you were my friend once and the weight of this disrespect is vastly different and you know that.

Yes, I am the manipulative one. Clearly. 

And blocking me, knowing full well I’d never engage you or confront you again about anything else if you didn’t fucking steal my intellectual work in the first place, just confirms stark awareness of your guilt. 

I am ready to accept I’ll never get closure by you for the other things you did to me. I’ve long since let it go because I doubted it’d bring me any peace anyway, and I was right.

So call this ending whatever you like. Paint me in a rose-tinted memory and dust all the hardships under the rug, because you worked so hard to make it up to me but I didn’t take it. Block me with the thought in mind I was groundlessly attacking you after all you’ve done, if it helps you cope. 

I thought you knew me better. I thought you’d be in a better place after all this time, like you said you were. It’s not so clear cut now, is it?

I really still cared about you, your work, your growth- even though you truly didn’t deserve it. Not from me. Don’t worry, I won’t look after you anymore- we’re strangers once again.

And the ink on your back is not mine.

Goodbye.

Kai is a sociopath. Not a psychopath Disclaimer: Yes I do research before I post, but as always when dealing with uncle google take things with a grain of salt. But I’ve read enough to be confident that this post is either true, or close to the truth.

I’ve written a meta like this before, but here I am writing a different one, but on the same topic because it’s a real pet peeve when someone calls him a psychopath.

A psychopath

Born with an abnormal brain, that you can see in a MRI.

Sociopath

Born with a brain that looks exactly like us normal people.

A psychopath

Is callous because the parts of their brain that deal with empathy and stuff are physically damaged.

A sociopath

Are callous because of extreme abuse/trauma/neglect. They formed the condition of sociopathy to deal with that abuse. This does not mean that they deliberately chose to become a sociopath. Nobody can choose the way their brain develops. All it means is that Kai’s brain felt the best way to protect him was to develop sociopathy. 

Wait if their brains are physically normal, then how can they not be normal?

Well as we go through life we develop neural connections and lose neural connections all the time. Developing the ability to empathize with other people, and feel emotions are neural connections we form as we grow up.

A child going through severe abuse, in order to avoid feeling emotional pain, their brain may stop those neural connections regarding emotions from forming properly.


Kai’s abuse

They downplay the abuse Kai went through as a child. But he would have had to go through some real serious shit, to have developed sociopathy.

That’s what I hate about it. At least Klaus’ abuse was portrayed as a very serious matter. Kai’s abuse was portrayed as a joke, and that disgusts me. In fact they took Klaus’ abuse so seriously, they gave him a therapist! 

They even had Chris acting as Kai to joke about his abuse in season 8 episode 14. Sure the words themselves weren’t joking matters, but the way he said it, you could tell that the show was trying to make it out to be a joke.

Sure it could be because he only likes to show vulnerability to Bonnie. But the thing is he could have said all that to Caroline in a cool and calm way. Instead he said it as if it was funny. And it’s disgusting that Plec hates a character that much, that she’d resort to making jokes of a serious issues, just because they she didn’t want anyone to have any sympathy for that character.

THAT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING. THAT FUCKING DISGUSTS ME.

They deleted the scene where Kai shows how hurt he was over the way his family treated him, to Jo, again because they didn’t want anybody to sympathize with him. No what they want is for people to view his abuse as something that’s not serious. 

I WILL SAY IT AGAIN. THAT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING

Some people might have thought that bit was funny, I am not one of them. I frowned during that scene. I did not think it was funny, or charming.

Psychopaths can’t feel emotions.  No fear, anxiety, love, care, sadness. However they may feel anger. I’m not sure why anger is an emotion they can still feel. All I know is their brains aren’t physically wired to feel “empathetic” emotions. 


Sociopaths can feel emotions.

They tend to feel emotions that are muted. Or emotions that are exaggerated. Their exaggerated emotions are usually triggered by something that reminds them of the traumatic things they’ve gone through.

For example the gif below is Kai’s exaggerated emotion over not getting to be the coven leader. Because it reminds him of the trauma of the abuse he went through over not being good enough, over being an abomination.

Because he knows the reason they didn’t want him to be the coven leader is because they see him as an abomination, because of his siphoning abilities. The defective twin that nobody wanted. It reminds him of the neglect they gave him, of the fact that he was so disgusting to them, he wasn’t allowed to touch or be touched by anybody else.

Honestly guys this is the first time I’ve made my own gif lol. I’m proud of myself. 

Sociopath’s snap over anything that triggers their post traumatic stress disorder. 

Didn’t he snap because he wasn’t going to get power and control?

A lot of people think he snapped because he wasn’t going to have power or some shit like that. But if power was so important to him, why did he want to kill his coven? Killing his coven would mean he’d be powerless, because he would have nobody to rule, or have power over.

He said he wanted to give the “Gemini coven an excruciating death.” What he did NOT say was “I want to rule them and make them suffer under my reign. If he said that, then I would believe that he was aiming for power as well as the other thing I mentioned. 

No. What he wanted was to become the coven leader to prove to everyone else, that he wasn’t a worthless piece of trash.

Kai was told his entire life that he was only valuable for one thing. Killing his twin sister, or dying for his coven. Apart from that one thing, he was an abomination, trash. Because he was led to believe that about himself.

So he held onto the one thing that he could do to prove that he was valuable enough. Kai wasn’t sure if he would die in the merge or not, he just wanted to prove himself. Because you know Kai didn’t have the ability to see the future or anything.

Then he finds out that it was all a lie. 

He was taught to believe his own TWIN’S life wasn’t valuable. Because he’d kill her in the merge when he turns 22. So how could someone with a mental illness come to the conclusion that the lives of his other siblings were valuable?

His twin’s life meant nothing, because that’s what he was taught to believe. His own life meant nothing, because that’s what he was taught to believe. Therefore why on earth would the lives of his other siblings mean anything to him?

I am not justifying Kai’s actions. I’m saying that his home life was the perfect environment to bring him to the point where he committed a monstrous deed.

Like if I punch you in the face, and you punch me back. You are still at FAULT for punching me back. I did not make you punch me back. But you have to admit that I created such a perfect environment for you to punch me, that it was almost impossible for you not to punch me.

In fact if you decided to glare at me instead, you’re a great person. But 75% of people would have punched me back. 

Well the above 2 paragraphs is an example, but something like that is what happened with Kai. 

Now this gif below is Kai’s exaggerated emotion over his failure to get out of the prison world. The place that had psychologically tortured and tormented him for 18 years. Of course as much as I love this scene for my meta, it’s also confusing, since if all Kai needed was magic and Bennett blood, why didn’t he just siphon from Bonnie then and there? I think I know the answer:

The dinner party was him giving Bonnie one last chance to change her mind. But instead she made it clear that she would rather be in ISOLATION, than be in his company. She said she wanted to be in her own separate part of the world.

Obviously Bonnie found out she was wrong, and Kai’s company would have been better than isolation, but that doesn’t change the fact that she said “let’s just divide the world in half and go our separate ways”

What about sociopaths and good emotions?

Sociopaths generally feel muted versions of love, and other kinds of empathetic emotions, because they are trying to protect themselves from being hurt.

For example they feel muted versions of sadness. Love is also an emotion that can make someone vulnerable, so they feel muted versions of that.

I don’t think Kai loved Bonnie in 1994, because he had only just met her. But he felt something for her. I guess a fondness for her.

I’m getting too lazy with the gif nows lol. But Kai showed moments of sadness and vulnerability before the merge for Bonnie Bennett only. 

Bonnie was the only one he would have given all of these second chances too. Had it been Damon that was the witch, or even Elena, Kai would have just drained their magic and left. In fact Elena or even Caroline would not have even had the opportunity to send their magic away in a bear, because Kai would have already killed them before that moment. 

Not that Elena would have been smart enough to think of that to be honest.

All Kai would have needed was to overhear the spell and have their blood. So if Elena or Caroline were the witches in question, they would have been dead shortly after Kai shot one of them with an arrow. 

Because he over heard the spell before he shot Bonnie with the arrow. He knew all he would need was her blood.

Now unfortunately Kai also has muted empathy as a sociopath, which explains why he hurt Bonnie as badly as he did.

But in this odd kind of way his empathy for Bonnie was also very strong. Kai was willing to give Bonnie more than once chance, despite having to face his own hell of 18 years of trauma and psychological torture, while giving Bonnie those chances.

I would be desperate af to escape that place, and I haven’t even been there for eighteen years in isolation!

So it’s like his empathy was muted and strong at the same time. Which is one of the reasons why Kai is complex as a character.

Whoever created the episodes with Bonnie and Kai in 1994 really need to pat themselves on the back, for portraying Kai’s complexity so beautifully.

Whoever removed Kai’s complexity and turned him into this dumb villain, well I hope you never get a job as a tv producer, or writer ever again.

Hey people as you may not know, I do value accuracy in my posts, or at the very least theories that are well reasoned. Thanks to @fuckitimfangirling there are a few improvements I can make, and I will make those improvements when I have time.

For now though here is the copy pasted version of what she said. Try your best to fit it in with my post and the wrong bits of it, until I’m able to edit.

I like the meta aspect of this, but I gotta address some things (lol not ragging, the meta is good!) bc the neuroscientist in me just has to. DSM-5 for diagnosis is different now. Sociopathy is no longer a term used, it’s antisocial personality disorder. Psychopathy is a symptom of ASPD and it exists on a spectrum. You can have psychopathic traits without being diagnosed a psychopath if you don’t meet enough of the reqs for diagnosis. Emotionally, psychopaths are depressed, not non-existent - the problem is with empathy bc they have underactive amygdalas (regulates fear expression and recognition) and mirror neurons (help with emotional recognition in others bc ppl tend to imitate facial expression as part of recognition in social interactions) due to a decrease of serotonergic axons (the physical brain differences). However, non-psychopathic ASPDers have decreased serotonin levels in a different way, so there’s actual physiological differences there as well, just not as extreme. Kai, having ASPD, probably exhibited traits as a child of ASPD (called conduct disorder) bc of those differences, but didn’t actually get diagnosed until late teens bc his environment exacerbated them. He also likely didn’t have muted emotions, but increased impulsivity, anger, aggression, and disregard for safety of self and others due to low serotonin levels (all of this is depicted in the show) and this overshadows other emotional expression. ASPD individuals can foster genuine relationships (unlike psychopaths), but they’re usually dysfunctional/abusive. ASPD heritability is really high and fostered in abusive/traumatic environments bc in those aspects, it is evolutionarily beneficial to survival to be aggressive and violent. In our social constructs now, not so much. Medication and therapy is helpful in non-psychopathic ASPDers but not so much with the psychopathic ones due to distinct physiological changes. Overall though, media is terrible about demonizing the disorder without doing proper research. I can provide you with names of more detailed texts if you’re interested.

anonymous asked:

What do you disagree with in buddhism?

Doctrinally my main difference is that I am an eternalist. I believe that there is a great soul of which we are all just a part. A great being unlike any being we can conceive with our limited intelligence. The Buddha sometimes spoke like an eternalist (pantheist) but then in a couple of Suttas categorically denied the truth of eternalism. Yet, mindstream sounds a lot like Pantheism.

I do not believe in the passing of enlightenment from teacher to student.

I do not believe that children should be monks.

I also reject all aspects of the supernatural.

Question about Exes/BFFs

Now I admit I am from a much different generation than most on this website. A comment was made recently that has made me question the generation gap….
Reblog this if are okay with your best friend/sister/etc dating your ex significant other. Like/Reply to this if you think this is not okay. I’ll state here and now that to me? This is NOT okay. Curious to see if the basis of friendship has really changed that much….

anonymous asked:

Do you think an empty first house could leave someone always asking "who am I really?" And feeling as if they're different around everyone, so much so that they aren't sure of which version of themselves is really them?

Hi.

I personally wouldn’t put this down to an empty first house, but maybe someone with a lot of Pisces/Neptune/Twelfth house. Sun aspected to Neptune.

Maybe Gemini too.

x

anonymous asked:

So, I'm new to following your blog, and let me just say that I am loving it so far :). Though I've seen different people respond to asks, how many people run the blog?

thank you!! & we have two, Paula & I
-victra

psa: if your url requires the first thing anyone sees on your blog aside from it to be “I AM NOT ACTUALLY RACIST” maybe you should just change to a different url