i am not complaining

I try to always be positive but there are times where that gets really hard to do.  I moved to LA 7 months ago for a fresh start and to pursue my dreams of acting and modeling.  However, due to adulting and bills, I find myself stuck in the world of retail and crazy schedules with no flexibility again.  This means I have no time for auditions or networking events.  I’m so frustrated!  I’m realistic and know that it takes time out here to really break into what you want to do but that is so difficult to do when you don’t have the time to pursue those things. 

I finally began to gain confidence in myself and it was showing in my auditions…it led to a few callbacks.  But the growing debt causes me to place it all on hold for now and I just feel that it will always be like that.  I’m tired of feeling like I am stuck in a rut that keeps getting deeper.

I really shouldn’t complain because I am living my life as my true self and I know there are many people who would love to be in my place right now.  I’m grateful to be who I am and to have the support I have.

Sorry to vent but this is my blog so I figured it would be ok.

Diary Of A Pill Taker

“Diary Of A Pill Taker”

I’m losing my memories.
And I can’t see straight.
Because the drugs inside me
Have submitted to fate.

My thoughts are all scattered
With too many emotions
That vary in range
And depth like the ocean.

I should never have started
But it’s too late to quit
Because the drugs inside me
They say are my fix.

They say that these capsules
Have magical powers
And that I should take one
After midnight hours.

And I do as I’m told
Because who am I to complain
When these capsules seem to work
And help me stay sane.

And now it’s too late to quit
Because in a world full of strife
These capsules are my fix
And they govern my life.

the last time i ordered pizza hut they were like half an hour late and the next day i got a sort of groveling email from them–verbatim:

“yesterday you trusted us with your order and we let you down. we messed up and we owe you an apology. let us make it up to you. as a token of our commitment to earn back your trust, please enjoy a free large pizza.”

like i am NOT complaining but are you serious, none of my exes were half this apologetic when they cheated on me and here’s pizza hut with the grand romantic gestures

honestly this is why i date pizza instead of boys

someone has just said to me on instagram that if i complain about everything then why am i in the phandom. no, actually, i don’t complain about everything. i only complain about people who force phan on them. the people who over exaggerate every little thing. the people who only post ‘phan proof’ when it really isn’t. i can’t be the only one who gets extremely pissed off about this. i really want to go on a long rant about thing but i know for a fact that people are just going to turn around to me and say ‘oh everyone is just joking stop taking everything so fucking seriously.’ so i’m just going to go on a small rant instead.

right, we don’t know if anything is going on with dan and phil. they could just be best friends but they could be in a relationship or anything in between. but at the end of the day it is none of our business and until they tell us, if they tell us, we won’t know. people need to stop trying to force it out of them when in actual fact, there might not be anything going on.

another thing is that this business with them moving house. once again, it’s not our business if they are moving house. and even if they are, it’s not a big deal. people are allowed to move house, you know. yes, it is likely that they might be moving house, but if they don’t want to tell us until they’ve moved, it’s probably bc moving is an extremely stressful situation as it is, without your fan base trying to find where the new place is.

i just feel as though some of the phandom (or 'demon phannies’) take things way to far sometimes. yes i love dan and phil with all my heart, and i love the phandom, but sometimes things just go too far. to answer the question of that person on instagram, i am in the phandom bc i love dan and phil and i love the phandom. it’s such a creative and kind community. it’s just a select few who stalk them, make 'phan proof’ and overanalyse everything that annoy me.

is anyone going to have a go at me over this? is anyone going to agree? i’m just worried that i’m going to get so much hate for this but like i said, surely i can’t be the only one that things this… also i just want to point out that i know a lot of people are joking about any of this, but there is also a lot that actually take it all seriously and aren’t joking. this is aimed at them (kind of), not the people who are joking

elloras said: Tezza one of these days I’m just going to send you one of these asks ^ I think I’ll just start sending a “Do you still ship marvey?” periodically, every month, so the trolls don’t have to.

LMAOOOO I mean what kind of question???? Do they think if I didn’t, I’d still be stuck complaining about this hellshow on twitter????? I am GLUED. I cannot leave. Nobody told me that was part of the deal. ;_;

anonymous asked:

What's going on? Suddenly the trailer of tlj came out in the people are starting to accept reylo!! And I saying it for a personal experience with one of my friends who's a fanboy and now he's like "maybe that's gonna happen" c'mon dude

I don’t know! like I’m not complaining about it lol but I am a bit baffled. the trailer fits well with things we’ve been saying all along, but then so did TFA and no one ever listened to us then soooooo…..

as far as I can tell, I really think three things are causing a lot of it:

  1. Kylo’s scar being a teeny-tiny Sexy Antihero ScarTM (even people entrenched deep in denial about where his arc is headed can’t argue that)
  2. Kylo being marketed unmasked. it doesn’t fit with remorseless villainy and also they slapped the unscarred half of his melancholy face on the poster (again, even people deep in denial can’t say this is how you market your big bad villain)
  3. the talk of balance, Luke saying the Jedi need to end, Daisy hinting that Luke doesn’t live up to the mythology of himself, etc.

all of this hints at a far more nuanced story than a large part of the fandom was expecting, and I think the trailer presented these hints in a far more blatant way than TFA did, which was just laying the subtle groundwork, so it’s easier for people to see it now I guess?

My love for these two idiots is endless

I watched Trollhunters a little while ago and it actually inspired me to doodle again soooo here’s some angry changelings not appreciating the whole “impure” thing

This particular scene was what 100% convinced me that he loves him. That much pure adoration in his eyes. That’s how my dad looks at my mom. . I wasn’t into Johnlock from the start. I am pretty slow at picking subtexts.. but this scene. I was just like.. God he loves him already..

This scene is pretty special to me. just wanted to share..❤

  • my brain: you are making up this problem for attention
  • me: i literally haven't told a single person about this problem? i am the only one that knows about this problem
  • my brain: yeah whatever
  • my brain: you are making up this problem for attention