i am not a perfect man

I didn’t realise a one minute scene set in david’s shop could ever be defined as perfect but it really fucking was

  • robert interacting with other villagers. THE CONTEXT WOULDN’T EVEN MATTER LET THAT MAN HAVE FRIENDS, IT’S GLORIOUS
  • robert and vanessa’s blonde bisexual friendship is rising!!!!!!!
  • rob immediately trying to explain what lgbtqia means? two years ago rob could barely say the word gay and now he’s out there wanting to educate, god bless
  • jimmy king has tumblr
  • robert slapping jimmy for perving on hot lesbians. ICONIC
  • “you just need to get out, meet different people, make friends and experiment” he was shouting at jimmy to leave then came back purely to give advice to vanessa???!!
  • bisexual robert sugden openly and unashamedly giving advice and trying to help others come to terms with their own sexuality. BEAUTIFUL. INCREDIBLE. BREATHTAKING
Bitter Rivals - Stuart Twombly

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Stuart Twombly/Reader

Word Count: 9,619

Warnings: NSFW, NSS (Not Sabrina Safe aka an inside joke), 18+, Oral (both receiving), Multiple Orgasms, Alcohol Use, Spanking, Hair Pulling

Notes: I lost a bet with @ellie-bee242 and promised her Stuart smut. So this is for her, ok? Ok. Also thanks to @girlwiththerubyslippers for being a doll and reading part of this and like… screaming at me the entire time lol.

Keep reading

aahhh I feel all down and sad now. honestly he seemed like, emotionally intelligent and caring, in a way I haven’t really experienced a from a man before (sorry), and less than a day after I decide I would like to give it a chance as something more than casual my brain is just like NOOOOOPE, DELETE HIM OFF EVERYTHING, FLIP OUT AND TELL HIM TO DO ONE. why tho? am I just not ready or something? I don’t know why I always do this? with the other guys it’s been more understandable i.e vegan BB/fuckboy there were genuine reasons why I didn’t want to take things any further but he seems perfect and still the same N O response from my brain. I think it could be a preservation thing wherein if I end it prematurely even though I obviously don’t really want it to be over, then he can’t end it with me, he can’t hurt me, the relationship can’t be painful if it doesn’t ever happen, ya know? 

it has been nearly 5 months since Ryan and I split up….. which I suppose, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t very long? It just seems like longer because so much has happened and changed in between and because he’s had a new girlfriend for four out of those five months hahahaha. I hate him with every fibre of my being and I hate that he gets to be happy because in all honesty he doesn’t deserve it and I hope he is still depressed and unhappy with himself and his life and that his whole ~Insta pic~ life is just a charade still like always. that’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever thought but it’s true. I hate him so much. But can’t pretend he wasn’t my best friend for years and my first love so what ya gonna do lolz

candypop-snowdrop  asked:

I gotta tell you, I’m currently reading WoJ and I am in LOVE with it!!! It’s such a beautiful story with such perfect characterization, and it deserves none of the hate these assholes are giving it. Ofc it’s not exactly how things are going to play out in s2, you wrote it before (spoilers) carapace was out!! People can shut the heck up if they think that’s grounds to criticize you for not “fixing” it. It’s perf as is. I will fight them on behalf your gorgeous writing. Have a LOVELY day, damnit<3

THANK YOU! thank you so much hehe awww man my box is filled with love right now you guys are all incredible, thank you!

i love everything about this screenshot. i love the comedic composition of it. the original message sent at 4:11 AM. the typos. the yeehaw. the lack of response from anyone else in the chat. White Castle

and then, in perfect grammar and syntax, one hour and 23 minutes later, the realization of the mistake. the regret. the folly of man

why you need to see spider-man homecoming:
  • diverse school is diverse! normal kids are normal! 
  • this movie is funny as hell
  • they’re all actually teenagers or damned close(!)
  • peter is an actual awkward ass kid
—in and out of the suit
  • michael keaton is excellent
  • great soundtrack
  • super neat web-flinging action sequences
  • tom holland acts his ass off i am so blown away by him

  • ned is the perfect wing man
 and will have you rolling
  • there’s an actual twist!
!!
  • hysterical supporting roles as played by hannibal burress and donald glover

  • the big school bully is the way they often are in real life—extremely educated, average-looking, and a total jackass
  • cap’s cameo(s)
  • liz is not another storybook high school crush—she’s beautiful and smart and lovely and not vilified by any other characters
  • zendaya is politically correct and salty and amazing

  • tony stark and co. are in it just enough without stealing the show

  • aunt may is hip and cool
  • we are reminded of peter’s vulnerability and strength every step of the way
  • “suit lady” and all the suit’s bonus features
  • some very direct socio-political commentary
  • probably one of the best ending lines ever written
  • people were  c a c k l i n g
  • the bottom line: this is the spidey we’ve started to see in the previous franchises come to fruition: un-glorified, imperfect, and eager to help others
  • go see this movie and smile your ass off
2

Jensen and Ryan were roomies back in the day! [x]

did you guys know I’m in love with this crooked ginger

Sun signs according to people I’ve met

Aries

Usually very motivated and energetic, they have a really strong aura around them. I admire them a lot, they seem like cool people and may seem intimidating but are super nice in person! Protective of their loved ones. Goals in terms of swag and athleticism they got. Teach me how to carry myself like you please.


Taurus

The cutest, most amazing (even if a bit stubborn) friends. Best partners for getting food or watching a movie together. Taurus boys are my cryptonite, Taurus girls are the loves of my life. They are very much real in a sense of being human. Sensual, chill and true, really “earthy”. Fake isn’t in their vocabulary. Seriously I know quite a few Tauruses and I love them all to death. Only problem is when we disagree on something major, neither will back down from the argument.


Gemini

I always lowkey hate on them, but they aren’t all that bad; Conversations with them are the most fun, and when I am with them I never get bored; I know a lot of male Gemini’s and no female ones sadly; in general they are nice people but usually fuckboys. Probably wouldn’t date one (but flirting with them is a lot of fun). Good sense of humour.


Cancer

Being a Cancer myself I tend to be drawn to a specific type of Cancer females on social media. Those are the The Moms, their entire vibe is really soft and warm and motherly but also protective and strong. We will cook you dinner because we love you. We are good cooks in general. Foul mouths and will fight you any time. Pretend to be edgy, but we usually aren’t. Crying over our partner (or lack of) all the damn time but usually in private.


Leo

Ughh. Leo females are okay but Leo males? They annoy me to no end and I always bicker with them, but at the same time they are usually really charming so :/. Lowkey hate them and their inflated ego but they are good friends which I appreciate. Loud and sooo in your face but loyal and can take you to the most bizarre and amazing places. Overall infuriating 0/10 do not recommend. (Jk)


Virgo

Okay, so I am biased, but Virgos are literally perfect human beings. They are smart, logical, neat and polished and just ugh. Especially females are really classic beauties with killer fashion sense. Overall all genders seem to have a feminine vibe? It’s sooo hard to get them even remotely interested in you but it’s worth it in the end. Can push you to be the best version of yourself. They can literally step on me. Heart eyes motherfucker.


Libra

Oookay, so. Libras are weird, man. It’s hard to dislike them, because they can be so nice but you never know if they are real nice or fake nice. Seems like usually fake tho. They are super gorgeous, in a very luxurious way and their lives are the true aesthetics. First impression is that they are pretty shallow, but I wouldn’t assume that about people without knowing them.


Scorpio

Damn I love Scorpios! Deep af, people I can talk to about my deepest thoughts, discussing occult stuff, cry on their shoulders or just hug it all out m8. I feel super comfortable with them. Best partners for planning an assassination on your ex (or Trump) tbh. Aesthetics on point as well. I am living for that mysterious grunge shit vibe. You go my bros.


Sagittarius

Don’t hate me for this, but the only sign I usually cannot stand to keep close are Sags. They are amazing conversationalists with the sharpest minds out there and interesting points of view. Talking to them about basically any topic can take hours and not get boring, and you could take them for an adventure for a week and it would be the best choice. But longterm relationship or friendship? Nah. I do not trust.


Capricorn

I have a lot of Capricorn women in my life and I admire them so much. They are so hardworking, punctual and they sacrifice themselves for their loved ones everyday, in every way. Also their love is so good and true, damn. The Cap stereotype is that they are bad with feelings but I strongly disagree. One of the most amazing signs out there. Protect them and treasure them.


Aquarius

Aw my favourite aliens. Just kidding. They are often misunderstood I think, but they are actually super cool. They are not afraid of being different and that’s a really admirable trait imo. Also the best partners for sharing your conspiracy theories with. If you feel like they just walked all over you, they probably didn’t mean it, they just don’t realize it sometimes? The most interesting people to keep around, if you can tolerate their cold exterior.


Pisces

Damn you Pisces. Why you all gotta be so unpredictable. I know a great deal of Pisces people and each of them is so different, it is simply impossible to categorize them in any way lol. My brother is a confident social butterfly. One of my friends is an aesthetics grunge queen with a lot of sadness inside. My other friend is pretty shy and introverted with a lot of super weird quirks (probably the only one fitting the usual Pisces category). Another one is a typical nerd who is however pretty choleric and fake on the inside. And another one was the spawn of satan and literally the ugliest and most selfish person I know. What even are Pisces lmao.

Day One Hundred and Thirty-Six

-My girlfriend and I opened the store as the only cashiers, tag-teaming to perfection. She ran a lane with her superior “I Am Totally Awake And Ready To Be Here” face, while I handled the nitty gritty opening chores. Together, we easily conquered what would have alone been a devastating shift. There is nobody I would rather fall asleep at the register with.

-A man insisted on stowing his items within a set of drawers he had purchased. The fact that he had more items than he did storage space seemed an inconvenience, but I chose not to say anything, sure he would quickly notice. As I rang up my next guest five minutes later, I looked back, and wished I had said something earlier.

-A woman who was either in her teens or her forties spent her transaction making an impassioned case for the comedic value of Boss Baby. I always admire someone willing to stand for what they believe in, but I wholeheartedly admonish her choices in life that led to this point.

-Handing me a crumpled bag she decided she no longer wanted, a woman was devastated to hear me say it would be recycled. She declared this wasteful and very nearly took it back for her own purposes. I wish dearly that she had committed to this, as I am desperate to know the fate greater than recycling she feels this bag deserves.

-“I’ve never been carded at Target,” a thirty year-old woman said, as I did just that. I thought nothing of it at first, but after looking at her wizened and worried face, I became concerned that I had blown her cover entirely. What that cover was, I am unsure, but blowing it seems to have been the worst outcome this transaction could have had.

-I came across a basket full of fidget spinners in emblazoned with varying designs. The Superman spinners, the Justice League spinners, and even the plain label spinners, however, were all marked solely with the Superman emblem. I know not how he has risen the ranks to become the default design of fidget toys. That being said, I do believe this is how the plot of Injustice got rolling, so I know now to prepare for the uprising.

-When asked how he was today, a man told me that he was doing great, but he hoped to get over that soon. As a longtime mental roommate of chronic depression, I am ready and willing to get Freaky Friday with this man, giving us both just what we want.

-After her purchase, a woman declared that her cart should be shot. I have no other context, but I do trust her judgement, and I now shall carry out her sentence on my break.

-A mother coached her inexplicably green-faced children to hide their unwanted toys behind the candy shelves rather than hand them to me. I believe them to be the most notorious crime family in southwest Virginia. As they left, one of the boys offered me a high-five. I accepted the gesture, and with it, a membership in the Family. Please leave a comment below if you would like to hear my upcoming Mafia Crime Spreetales.

-I met an undercover time traveler who revealed herself as such through her “It’s Twenty Fourteen Time” sweatshirt which fell just short of subtle. I only hope she can make it back from this recon mission in time.

-Moments after I turned my lane’s light on, a woman approached my lane. She double-checked that I did not need more time to prepare for guests, then, after I said I was ready, she triple-checked, just to be sure. This level of consideration is nigh unrivaled in my experience, and I appreciated it greatly. Her purchase then rang up at barely half of what she expected, proving what I have always said about Cosmic Cashier Karma to be true and setting an example for all.

-I left my lane for twenty minutes to complete a training in the back of the store. Upon my return, I found my register covered from its proverbial head to its proverbial toes in deep purple fingerprints. I will spend the rest of my days working to uncover what I have missed, and how it went so very, very awry.

-Today, I noticed that I have many more Retales than an average shift. More things have seemed spectacular to me, more things have seemed thrilling, more things good and pure and joyful. The reason for this is simple enough: my partner in all things stationed by my side. This makes sense, as my girlfriend has long been my inspiration and the reason I am so prone to looking on the bright side. I hope to have more days like today, and as long as I have her, I know this hope will be fulfilled.

Perfect man screenshots

I am literally in love with that video, especially Jimin’s fancam…I’ve seen it way too many times and decided, the only way to get over it is to take funny screenshots from the video..I admit it was really hard..

Jimin Bebier

I’ve always loved that part when they kicked the air but I can say that I’m over it after this picture :) Jimin still looks good tho 

Tae looks so done

The “when you suddenly see a spider on the floor” picture

“I wish I was this tall…”

aRm mUSclES 

When you lose your glasses and panic

Tae contemplating life in middle of a performance…same Tae…same…


Please someone give him a hair shampoo commercial  

IT’S SO FLUFFY I WANNA DIE

YAAS 


Compilation of Jimin’s tongue :,)

You think that just because they’re up on that stage; screaming and smiling, that they are safe. That their lives are perfect. Watching them light up an arena, they feel invincible. But nobody is safe from the inside. Nobody. This man and the whole of Linkin Park are the reason I ever became a part of the community I am today; who make me feel loved and welcomed. The reason I discovered the band who inspired me to play guitar. The reason I began to fight back against the crap that was thrown my way. This is why it’s important to speak out; whether the world knows who you are or not. The world lost a true legend today. Rest in peace :’(