sometimes my mother tells me she loves me and i don’t want to say it back / i say it anyway. she taught me long ago that what i want is not as important as what other people need.
i am still trying to untangle that lie.
sometimes my father hugs me like i am all he has left in this world. i want nothing more than to leave. i stay because i carry his heart on my shoulders and my shoulders are already shaking. if i move it will fall.
i refuse to break hearts if i can help it / i cannot always help it.
yesterday i fell in love with an idea, with a floating cloud of dust / half-invisible / choking on air, on the particles of you.
tomorrow i will try to remind myself to look at the stars. i will forget to stare at the sky but this is fine / this is fine / i can find them in your eyes just as easy. next week i will try to remind myself to hold your hand. i will forget.
i am too busy staring at andromeda / the chained maiden. love never lasts and this is how i navigate home.
l.s. | HIRAETH © 2017