i am never putting effort into anything again

My love,
When I think back to us, I realise that I may have put entirely too much of myself into you.
When it is late and I am alone, I find pieces of my being entirely missing from the places from which they used to be neatly tucked into, and you only find yourself asleep without any cares.

My biggest problem is that I fall in love with every beautiful thing that comes into my life, and I don’t know how to love without doing it completely and entirely.
I always find myself completely empty because I am so quick to hand away pieces of my heart and cannot stop until there is nothing left for me to give.  I was too quick to give, and you were too quick to take without exchanging anything to me in return.

Whenever you find yourself asleep, I find myself writing love letters that turn into apologies that eventually seem to turn into suicide notes.
I am wondering why you never put any effort into me? Wondering why it is that you never found yourself writing anything at all.
Even after I say I am done writing, I always find myself doing it again and again.

Anyone who ever tells you anything about love will always tell you that someone always has to love more, and I regret that it had to be me instead of you.

— 

I don’t want it to be me anymore.

(via snotbrrat)

How to sneak out of the house at night, successfully

i have friends who sneak out, and my brother used to sneak out, and 9/10 times they get caught. so here’s how to do it with a much lower chance of getting caught:

1. never act suspicious about it. for example, don’t tell everyone you’re going to bed early, or that you don’t feel good. your parents, or whoever, would probably check in on you and see what’s up.

2. never try to sneak out after a fight or argument with a parent. they’re either going to track you down to A) argue more or B) want to make up with you. then they’ll discover you’re missing.

3. always wait until everyone’s been in bed and asleep for about an hour, give or take a few. this way, they’ll be out for the night most likely, and you won’t have to worry about them finding you gone.

4. always come back early in the morning, before they’re up. then, they wouldn’t even know you were gone in the first place.

5. when you’re sneaking out at night, don’t turn on any lights. try to use your phone light, or just feel your way around the dark. if a light is on, someone will probably know you’re up.

6. bring your dang house key and lock up when you leave. my brother always left lights on and doors unlocked. we always knew right away that he was out.

7. do not put on perfume or lotion or anything that smells in the house. wait till you’re outside or something. again, my brother would spray cologne on himself before he left at 1 am, and we could smell it in the morning.

8. have fun

Yugyeom Imagine - Let Me Show You (Smut)

A/N - I had an idea for a Yugyeom angst and an anon requested a Yugyeom smut so I tried to combine the two together with some fluff in there as well. I hope you all enjoy and keep sending in your requests!

“Yugyeom, you’ve been busy every night for the past week and you don’t come home till at least 11 while I’m sat at home waiting to see you!”
“I never asked you to wait up for me!”
“Well if I didn’t then I’d never see you apart from the 15 minutes we get together in the morning before you leave again!” The built up emotion from the past week was finally coming out as the two of you argued relentlessly. You had barely seen him all week and you were feeling a mixture of sadness and loneliness with annoyance and frustration. It felt like you didn’t even have a boyfriend anymore. 

Taking a deep breath, you spoke again in a quieter tone. “Yugyeom, I hate that I never see you. I hate that you’re out so late. I know that practice is important and being in the group is important but so am I. I’m your girlfriend and I deserve more than just sitting around waiting for my boyfriend every night. Sometimes I feel like I put more effort into this relationship than you do. Answer me honestly, but do I actually mean anything to you?” Tears appeared in your eyes but you blinked them away, not wanting Yugyeom to see the fragile state you were in. He took a step closer to you, tears also threatening to spill from his eyes. His hand hovered over you cheek, hesitating to caress it as he usually did when you were upset.
“(Y/N), I had no idea you felt that way…Of course you mean something to me. You’re my everything. I know I’ve been out late a lot recently and I hate myself for it. I’ll talk to the boys and see if we can finish a bit earlier so we can spend more time together. I love you more than anything and it kills me to know you thought otherwise.” His hands were now placed lovingly on the side of your head and he planted a gentle kiss on your forehead.
“Are you sure?” You asked, part of you still uncertain.
“Yes. Let me show you how I much I love every single part of you.”
“Okay,” You whispered, curious to where this was leading.

Yugyeom’s lips ghosted over yours, mere centimetres away from touching. He paused, letting you take control. You took advantage of it and leaned closer to put your lips on his. You let your fingers tangle in his hair as you deepened the kiss, your tongue dancing on his. His hands were pressed against your back, keeping you close to him as the two of you kissed passionately. A sudden thirst came over you and your hands slowly traveled down his chest and stomach to pull up his shirt, exposing his bare skin. Knowing exactly what you wanted, Yugyeom moved his arms to pick you up and he carried you into the living room where he placed you down gently on the sofa. His hands quickly took your shirt off and he had already begun pulling down your sweatpants. He rubbed his thumb over your clothed heat, making you whine for more. Not wanting to tease you anymore, Yugyeom tugged your underwear down and threw them across the room, along with the other clothes scattered around. He rubbed circles on you, applying pressure in exactly the right place to make you squirm for more. You moaned into his mouth at the feeling of his fingers on you but you needed more.

Yugyeom slid two fingers into you, pumping them in and out and curling them to get the loudest reaction from you. Everything he was doing felt like pure magic but it still wasn’t enough. Using what strength you had, you flipped him over so you were now on top. Your hands stroked down his bare stomach to the top of his jeans and you slowly dragged down the zip, knowing how he loved when you teased him. You discarded his jeans and boxers, and wrapped your hand around his length, sliding it up and down slowly. Yugyeom’s face contorted with pleasure as he moaned your name. Smirking at him you lowered your head to put him in your mouth, running your tongue across his length. He was in heaven with the way you wrapped your lips around him. His fingers tangled in your hair, guiding you as you bobbed your head up and down. His moans gradually got louder and louder and you felt him begin to twitch in your mouth.
“(Y/N), baby I’m close,” he said between moans. Knowing he was close to his climax, you lifted your mouth from him, receiving an unimpressed look from your boyfriend. You grabbed a foil packet and tore it open, sliding it over his length. You aligned yourself over him and lowered yourself onto him, letting out quick moans as you did. 

Yugyeom’s hands held you hips, guiding you on top of him. The two of you were moaning messes at the pleasure you were both feeling. Unable to handle the way your face twisted, Yugyeom flipped you over so you were now beneath him, he moved your legs to rest on his shoulders so he had better access to you. He pushed into you faster and deeper, hitting all the right places. Your breathing quickened and you could feel yourself edging closer and closer to your climax. Yugyeom felt you tense around him and quickened the pace even more, wanting you to reach your climax. Euphoria hit you and you moaned his name loudly, fingers clawing at his back. Yugyeom kissed your lips before sucking and nipping at your neck before he released inside you, his body shaking a little from the sensation. Once you were both finished, he collapsed onto you, his head resting on your chest. Your breathing was heavy as you lay there, still feeling a little dazed from before.
“(Y/N)..” Yugyeom mumbled into your chest.
“Yes, babe?”
“I love you so so much. Please never forget that.”
“I won’t. I love you too, Yugyeom. More than you’ll ever know.”

anonymous asked:

I dunno if you like this idea but I know you're more about characters, so I'm offering you this. It's about one of the parallel realities where Solas and Inquisitor have really bad relationships... I want you so much to write angry Solas. It should be thrilling to read. And.. will they end up on good terms, may be? Or.. romance? I mean, what should happen for things ending up this way?

Inspired by Solas’s low-approval scene from the game, I decided to write this as if he was already in a romance with Lavellan before he could see the kind of person she truly was. 

Content Warning: Some minor uses of strong language.


“Not now.”

His tone left no question of his irritation, grumbled low between gritted teeth. He did not lift his eyes from the book and yet he could not focus on the words, his jaw clenched tightly as he gripped the pages. It came as no surprise when she disregarded his command, draping herself across his shoulders, leaning over his chair. Her hands snaked down his chest, her lips on his ear. Her touch felt poisonous, making him seethe further.

Idiot. I’ve been such an idiot.

He shrugged her away roughly. “I said no.”

She didn’t listen. Of course she didn’t listen. She never did, never had. All those times when he thought she understood, all those times when he thought she was different, similar to him in a way that no others had been - it had all been an illusion. She gripped his jaw, turning his head roughly. There was a smile on her lips before she brought them to his own. She thought this was some sort of game. She thought she could soothe his ire with affection. He could not blame her for that assumption. He had allowed it to work before, but not this time. He wouldn’t let it.

He pushed her away, slamming the book shut. “No,” he repeated, trying to keep himself from snarling. She narrowed her eyes, her brow lowering.

“What’s gotten into you?” He did not answer, letting the book drop to his desk as he pushed out of the chair, pacing away from her. Her hands went to her hips, her lips drawing into a scowl. “Is this about Adamant?” she asked, her head tilting. He did not answer. He would not. He didn’t even want to look at her. How could he have been so wrong? Had it been an active deception on her part - or had he simply been so desperate that he had allowed himself to see in her the qualities he wanted rather than the truth of her being?

She pressed again in the absence of a response. “I’m sorry,” she said sarcastically, “I couldn’t hear you over the passive aggressive sighing.”

“Did I not make my feelings clear about the Wardens?” he said, turning to face her, his voice low and cutting. “Their folly nearly got us all killed. They were willing to give their bodies over to demons, to corrupt countless spirits, all in a panic over the shortness of their miserable, tainted lives. A taint, I will remind you, that they chose to take on themselves.”

“They do what they must to keep the darkspawn at bay.”

“By trying to hunt down the gods before the corruption takes them?! If that is the only answer you see, then you are truly blind.”

“You don’t even believe in gods, Solas. Why do you even care?”

His hands balled into fists at his sides. “They are still living entities - even if you do not care for their well-being. Someone has to. I know what it is to believe that you must sacrifice one group for the sake of the rest. Believe me, that is not a path you want to follow.”

She shook her head dismissively, rolling her eyes. “I don’t have time for this.”

“Of course,” he said, his voice lifting, “Why would the mighty Herald of Andraste make time for the lowly apostate? How crude of me to think that you ever held anything I’ve said to you with any regard. Simply the ramblings of a lowly heathen. Perhaps I should watch my tone for fear of the Maker striking me down for calling his prophet into question?”

She scoffed and her laughter made his blood boil. “I don’t care about the shems and their Maker. Letting them believe I am made divine by the hand of their pagan god is a tool that has been handed to me. I’d be a fool to turn it away. If it is the only way for them to respect an elf as their superior, then so be it.”

“Ah, yes. How very Dalish of you,” he hissed. “Tell me, how do you claim faith in the Creators while simultaneously putting on this charade? Do you think they would embrace you for it? Or are your claims of worship for them just as hollow as your feigned status as a demigod?”

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