i am cutting my hair off and dyeing it again, wearing new colors, painting my face different shades. watch me exchange girl for battlecry, silence for thunderstorm, this body for a clean one. i am going to be new. i am going to be a girl you never hurt, a girl you’ll never know about. i do not want to be beautiful, i want to be so goddamn untouchable that no one will ever lay a hand on me again. watch this disaster unfold. this is not pretty, like fire, it is only destructive. it is only biting. i am only teeth.
Android [FREE]:link iPhone: [NOT AVAILABLE] Similar app: Wunderlist [FREE] link
Memorigi is a really easy to use
time management app where you can log in all of your tasks for the day, week
and month. You can use a color code to track your tasks by theme or by subject
so you can understand what your workload will be for the next few days. I
really like this app’s simple layout and the fact that you can chose between
different views, namely between a daily view or a three-days view. It also lets
you set an alarm to remind you that your tasks and events are coming up. Other
similar apps to consider are Google Calendar and Evernote.
►Duolingo Android [FREE]: link iPhone [FREE]: link
Duolingo is an app that lets you learn
languages through an array of mini games and exercises that you can complete
daily, increasing your fluency and mastery step by step. Each language comes
with dozens of different themed levels that teach you different aspects of
vocabulary and grammar so you can build up your knowledge on that language.
Each level recycles what you’ve learned in past levels to make sure that you
still remember that you have learned before. You can also use the training icon
to get a personalized lesson with your weakest words, so you can really tackle
whatever you are having a difficult time with, before moving on with the
learning process. I also enjoy the fact that the levels are short and you
aren’t required to speak or listen, so it’s the perfect way to spend some idle
time during commuting to school.
►Forest: Android [FREE]: link iPhone [1,99$]: link
Another app that I always talk about is Forest,
and for me it’s the best way to use the Pomodoro Technique whilst having a true
visual experience of your productivity levels. The concept is quite simple: for
each block of time you spend studying, you plant a virtual tree. While that
tree grows, you cannot use other app in your phone, less you get distracted.
When the timer reaches zero, you will have planted a tree in your forest. The
more trees you have, the more productive you were during that day.
►Loop - Habit Tracker Android [FREE]: link iPhone: NOT AVAILABLE HabitBull [FREE], similar app: link
Habits is an habit tracker app that lets you
follow up on those small daily tasks that we sometimes forget, like drinking
enough water, taking medication or taking a walk outside. It’s very simple to
use – all you have to do is insert which tasks you want to track and just press
the small cross to mark it for that day. As time goes by, you will build a
graphic that tells you how many times you’ve forgotten certain tasks and where
you should improve. I usually do this by hand in my bullet journal but I think
that tracking your habits with an app should please everyone who prefers to
manage their time with their phone and doesn’t like to carry a notebook around.
►SaveMyTime Android [FREE]: link iPhone: NOT AVAILABLE Similar app: link
Still on the time management theme, I think
that everyone should try at least once in their life to really understand how
they are spending their time. A time wheel lets you do this – you basically
input how you have been spending your time during the day, with transportation,
sleeping, eating, studying and taking classes and you will be baffled by how
little time you can actually spend at your own will. This app lets you do
exactly this, you just insert the amount of time you have been doing something
and it will build a time wheel for you, so you can reflect where you have been
wasting your time and re-organize your schedule. I think this is a great
challenge to keep up with during a week and just reflect on how you are
actually living your life. Basically, it sets a tracking time and when you
unlock your phone, the app will ask you what you have been doing for the past
fifteen minutes so you can build your time wheel gradually during the day
without even noticing it.
A great app to save paper, ink and time is
quizlet. It basically replaces all of your physical flash cards and lets you
keep entire sets of questions and answers in your phone under your personal
account. You can then export these to your computer and share them with your
friends. I think this is an amazing app for anyone who relies on definition
based classes and tests and is something great to use on idle times or when you
need to study but only have your phone around. It has tons of different ways to
test your knowledge on a subject and it can even read your cards out loud as if
you were being questioned by your professor.
►Timetable Android [FREE]: link iPhone [NOT AVAILABLE] Similar app: Class Timetable [FREE]: link
Finally, and this is one of my favorites, there
is a widget timetable app so you can place your school timetable in your
homescreen and never skip a class again. I usually never know where I am going
to have class and sometimes it’s not really useful to take out your planner and
look at your schedule so having it right on your homescreen is really useful.
You can insert all data related to your class
in this widget, like the name of the class, the location, participants and
total duration. You can always assign a color to a certain class. Afterwards,
you just tap the screen to assign your class to a certain timeblock and there
you have it.
❛ I mean, call me crazy but I think we’re in Freddy vs. Jason territory here. ❜
❛ It’s like the killer is combining these two legends into one brand new murder spree. ❜
❛ I was expecting crazy Ralph from Friday the 13th so nope. ❜
❛ I’m barely responsible for myself. ❜
❛ I thought you said this was going to be a mansion. ❜
❛ I know my mansions, this is really more of a bungalow. ❜
❛ We’re trying to lure the killer and you show up. ❜
❛ I’m sorry, this is a pretty classic “don’t let him in” situation, right? ❜
❛ I guess I didn’t think of you as the hospital visit type. ❜
❛ You know the whole, horrible, embarrassing story. ❜
❛ You broke my heart! I loved you, okay, and you broke my heart. ❜
❛ That’s a pretty outdated way of thinking. ❜
❛ Virgin? Seriously? Where did you learn to do that? ❜
❛ It’s a terrible movie, but one hell of a sex scene. ❜
❛ See this is why people think you’re creepy. ❜
❛ Do you think I’m creepy? ❜
❛ I’m sorry, this isn’t the right place. ❜
❛ This is the stupidest, most insane thing ever. ❜
❛ The only thing scary here is this dress. ❜
❛ I’m not a stranger, okay, I’m just strange. ❜
❛ That’s never gone bad for anyone in a movie ever. ❜
❛ First shut up, second, it’s just a study session. ❜
❛ I get that you’re scared, but I understood. ❜
❛ We all have our ways of coping. ❜
❛ The kid screwed me over and skipped town. ❜
❛ This is my life. Not some stupid campaign. ❜
❛ You mean looking out for my boobs? ❜
❛ Are you flirting with me? ❜
❛ Thank God because this drink is undrinkable. ❜
❛ If one of us gets hurt, we all get hurt. ❜
❛ Second chances are rare. Don’t waste them. ❜
❛ I’m making a knife stick. ❜
❛ I need, like, a Men in Black brain wipe. ❜
❛ Is that a pig? God, I’m never eating bacon again. ❜
❛ I’m the only one who knows how to reset the router. ❜
❛ Well we don’t want you getting arrested. ❜
❛ If I can’t trust you, I can’t be with you. ❜
❛ Aww, you wanna come in the hot tub with me? ❜
❛ The weak are outed and then eaten. ❜
❛ It’s the time honored enforcement of the food chain. ❜
❛ Considering my ex-beau might be a mass murderer, who am I to criticize? ❜
❛ Love the colors, but the spots? Too much. ❜
❛ I can’t believe you two came here without me. ❜
❛ Hey, we could team up: Bi-curious and the Virgin. ❜
❛ I was gonna be the Babadook, but then my mom made this cape. ❜
❛ What? No, you love taco Tuesday. ❜
❛ So, pretty much everybody’s a suspect, including us. ❜
❛ I think this is the beginning of a beautiful mutual tolerance. ❜
❛ Cue creepy murder music. I knew I was missing something. ❜
❛ You’re not going to die! Tonight, we change the ending. ❜
❛ Oh, crap. I’m gonna die. ❜
❛ Actually, we could all use a minute. ❜
❛ Hey, um, thanks for saving my life. ❜
❛ Boom, but then what? Take a victory lap around the pool? ❜
❛ We know what you’re going through, and we’re here if you need us. ❜
❛ I’ve never seen him/her with his/her mouth shut before. ❜
❛ Maybe it’s time to dig a little deeper. ❜
❛ Pick one, slay one, console one, then repeat. ❜
❛ What made him/her start killing people? ❜
❛ Okay, not a lesbian, not discussing it. ❜
❛ You root for them, you love them, so when they are brutally murdered, it hurts. ❜
❛ You have to care if the team wins the big game. ❜
❛ You have to care if the smart, pretty girl forgives the dumb jock. ❜
❛ You can’t do slasher moves as a TV series. ❜
❛ You wanna feel the sting of this sexually-confused Atheist’s foot up your butt? ❜
❛ Hey, hey! I made you microwave popcorn, remember? ❜
❛ I know you want the truth. So, let’s find it. ❜
❛ A yearbook? That’s not so weird. ❜
❛ That’s the world’s saddest crime fighting duo. ❜
❛ No, I’d rather channel my anguish into something productive. ❜
❛ Did you just try to tase my man parts? ❜
❛ There are not enough happy face emojis in the world to express how much I needed that. ❜
Look at me closely, say this isn’t what the paradise looks like. When you make me feel like a garden of your love, I feel like the storage of your lies. Every sip of those words, there are thorns stinging on my neck. Draining my empty rapture. Playing with my feelings. Like a little kid picking the best part of me, tearing apart the petals until my skin is no longer sealed from storms. Burning ices, the melting fire in your camouflage eyes.
Someone says I am worthy of something better, but ripping down on my bones, I would show my scars and they would open and can easily bleed it again. I say I wouldn’t jump into the falls, either it can break or drown me, but I always do it anyway. I never care about colors that fading away. Hurt might make my life useful.
Sometimes facing what hurts, lessons are dripping down my brain, being processed by my heart, absorbs by my soul. This is not a vacation place in your life. I’m not a paradise. Maybe I like a home that you can feel the comfort of tired silhouette, through darkness, brightness, confusion, I’ll make you feel your smile grows more than what you’ve thought of me as a garden.
You made me cry as the sprinkler for my root that lost its breath. You tried so hard to make me a perfect image for people around us, but I don’t want perfection, maybe If you would be true to yourself.
Don’t build my universe in your hands, pick me up and build up my feet through your care, if it’s real.
Hurt me like I would find myself, just stop hurting me until I lost myself. I’ll never going to be your beautiful place, I’m worried to be messed up and never be good in your eyes anymore. Tell me someday someone’s going to be with me because I am the safest place, no matter how close or far I am.
#transformationtuesday Today I turned 32. Felt like an appropriate moment to stop and appreciate how much I’ve grown and learned in the last year– How much more comfortable I am with myself and how peaceful my heart feels. Super grateful for my loving and supportive family and friends, and so grateful to finally feel unburdened by lifelong fears and insecurities. Life isn’t always 100% peaches and sunshine (it never is) but I feel like I’m living in color again and living as authentically as possible.
I love my Swapfell trash babies so much, they make me want to punch things. Had one day off this week to doodle and this was about as much as I could accomplish. I should have been writing but oh well! Slapped on some quick color and I’ll more than likely change them around again, I can’t seem to decide how I want anything to look. Don’t expect consistency in my art either, I am fairly new to drawing and I never know what I’m doing. I rely heavily on reference materials and stock poses.
Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your
friends. Yes; your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are
strong. Especially for your… sister. So, you have a twin sister.
Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her
from me. Now, his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark
Side… then perhaps she will… (Insp)
“I thought you were dead!” you screamed, tears rolling down your cheeks. “you left me alone for 2 fucking years, you asshole!” you cried out. All of it was true, Moriarty had faked his own death, making it seem real to the whole world, and to you. “I told you, I would never leave you. Didn’t you get my message?” Moriarty asked you. “what message? All I’ve gotten was grief” you said, still yelling. “the billboard? The whole ‘did you miss me?’ vibe?” he asked, seemingly agitated with your oblivion. “how in hell should I’ve known that was meant for me?! It was broadcast in the whole country! Maybe a message saying ‘hey, Y/N, guess what? Not dead’ would have been more fitting! Why would you even fake your death?!” you screamed. “april fools?” he answered, smug smile on his face. “get out” you said. “Y/N, come here, please” he said, trying to hug you. “get away from me! Leave!” you screamed, stepping away from him and opening the door.
“Y/N, please, it was just a joke. I need you, please” that was the sixth voice-mail that day. Ever since you had cast him out, he had been leaving voice-mails. In truth, you did miss him, more than you imagined. His death had been incredibly hard on you and seeing alive in the flesh, only made you want to slap him. Feel if he was real, just wanting to know if this was a cruel joke again or if he really came back.
“I need your help” you said. “on my way” the voice on the phone said.
“Y/N?” Moriarty called out. You had agreed to talk things out with Moriarty. “the door’s open” you yelled. “thank you for agreeing, I know that it’s all my fault and I want to….” Moriarty said, stopping dead in his tracks, as he saw the scene in front of him. “please, sit” you told him, looking stern. “no, not before you tell me what he’s doing here!” Moriarty yelled, shocked. “I moved on, alright!” you yelled. “no! Not with him!” Moriarty said, pointing at the so familiar man sitting next to you. “Sherlock was there for me when you left me! Yes, he faked his own suicide but at least he had the decency to tell me!” you replied. “I’m not letting you hurt her” Moriarty said to Sherlock. “if there’s nothing else you want to discuss, I want you to leave” you said. “I’m not leaving you, Y/N” Moriarty repeated. Slowly you got of the couch, standing in front of him. “good, because neither am I” you said, grabbing him by his tie, pulling him down and kissing him. After you broke the kiss and saw the confusion on his face, you whispered in his ear: “april fools, you son of a bitch”. A mixture of anger and relief colored his face. “Sherlock owed me one” you explained. “well, if that’s all” Sherlock said, leaving the two of you alone. “you better make sure to never do something like that to me again, or else I’m the one shooting you in the head” you said, kissing him once again. “don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere” he said, stroking your hair.
I am not mad. That is far too meager. I am seething. Seething with the devouring rage in its most pure form. I have been proven yet again – for anything I wish to be properly done, I need to do so myself. Come to think of it, was there really such a dark moment in my life when I considered leaving a screwball that is my mother with that damn demon-in-training who most likely fan-girls over Satan as a sensible idea?! Clearly, I must have lost my marbles. Only the prospect of my sister suffering for this atrocity is keeping my temper even if barely but in check. And I vow to bring all of my skills and creativity into play when determining the most suitable way of punishing that brat, least of which will be a shortcut to the afterlife.
I make a mental list of all the bureaucracy I will have to deal with before embarking on this wonderful journey convinced that my treacherous face is already betraying all the enthusiasm felt on my part. Yes, I am bursting with joy, except I am not. I absolutely loath two things in life: mixing family with business, and getting my plans ruined. Perhaps this list is a little bit underdeveloped but I withhold myself from drifting away from the problem at the hand.
Ciel was shaking. His breathing was heavy. Tears wouldn’t stop falling down from his face.
“Stop saying my name! Stop talking to me at all and just leave! Leave me alone!”
The boy hugged himself as he shouted at the man standing in front of him.
“Just leave and for once just stay quiet. Don’t talk back to me. Don’t try to have the last word.
I thought I wanted this. I thought that I was happy with the way my life was, but now I realize that was a lie. I’m not able to function properly anymore. I am so broken I can hardly move…
And it’s all because of you… You are the one to blame.”
He stopped himself to catch his breath.
“I shouldn’t have ever been with you… I shouldn’t have ever loved you… I really wish I would have never met you. You disgust me. I despise you and I never thought I would be able to hate someone as much as I do right now… So please… Just leave. Leave before I loose myself again…”
Ciel’s words. His crying.
It all felt like a nightmare.
I read a story about a colorblind person seeing colors for the first time. How hard my skin had been for so long, I forgot what colors were. I’ve been seeing everything in static and pixels and tones of grey, I forgot there is beauty. They described fall leaves and the multitude of colors in them, how distinct and vibrant, even though they are decaying they remain beautiful. I remember this as I am sitting in a worn truck with my feet on the dash and my eyes closed, feeling what it could possibly be like to be completely blind, and appreciating it all. I could feel the wind through my fingers and the cold open glass window against my forearm. I could feel the warmth of the sun and how it disappeared behind trees and left me cold. I could feel my motion and every bump in the road, I could smell the breeze, the hay, the hot asphalt of country roads. I could live again. I think that’s our problem, we forget to live. I think of the story once more whilst sitting on a brick wall, headphones on, coffee between my fingers. This is what it felt like to be completely and utterly myself. Behind a church lacking saints, in the sun, listening to small town traffic and barking dogs. I closed my eyes once more and could feel it in me, the distinct pain of being alive. I could feel the coffee warm in my stomach and my hands slightly shaking from lack of nutrition. I could feel my head heavy from a hangover and my body tired from stress and a lack of sleep. My bones creaked and my heart beat and my lungs expanding. The utter glorious pain of being alive. How we take simple things for granted. There will never be a moment like this one, where I am in this state of mind, feeling these things, and I think we forget too easily, too quickly. I don’t want to forget. I want to remember the colorblind person seeing colors for the first time and apply it into my life. I want to see the colors of the world again, I want to escape my broken abused body and run until I am a bird instead. I want to sit so still I become part of the breeze, I want to remember, I want to live again.
Wowowow! Can you guys believe it!? I certainly can’t! The blog has reached an amazing 164 followers and still going! When I started this blog I never would’ve thought I’d get anything close to that! I started up after seeing my long friend @dailyserperior and her blog, it looked like so much fun and it was the perfect way to draw something every now and again when I wanted to draw but didn’t know what. I just never expected any of these random doodles to get this much attention !
So as my way of thanking you all for the support so far I am holding a small art giveaway!
This is my first time holding one and with my job, my time management isn’t the best so I will only be looking for TWO winners!
First place will receive a full color image of two characters of their choice, whether it be pokemon or otherwise as well as a smaller (cheeb) full color image of a character of their choice!
Second Place will receive a full color image of one character of their choice, whether it be pokemon or something else of their choosing as well as a smaller (cheeb) flat image of their choice!
Here are the Guidelines of entering the giveaway!
You must be following THIS blog. This is a giveaway for @vaporeonappears followers ONLY. Sorry!
Reblogs only! Likes will not count and multiple entries will not count either to be fair for everyone.
Tag as “splish splash giveaway”
I HIGHLY doubt people will do this but to be safe, do NOT follow just for the giveaway and then unfollow afterwards.
i. it rained last night, on the way to pinole and i guess i understood what you were trying to tell me about storms because it felt sweet. rain’s only a mess when i’m trying to go somewhere, be someone (or when i’m starved for color. that too.) but last night it was all soft and deep green, not gray at all. the kind of rain that makes you want to close your eyes and just stand there forever, clean and quiet. it’s vancouver rain, the rain that comes in summer and comes in sheets and only makes every green glow, every pink fluoresce. this sort of rain sharpens everything, makes it even, makes me feel a profound sort of lonely, one girl watching the world begin.
ii. it’s been like a blanket over my head, a little. i told you this year feels infinite and that’s truer than saying it’s been good. there’s static in my head, white noise as a buffer between my brain and the rest of everything, and i add to it every time i do anything mundane. you say you stay up until one am writing and i think that sounds better than waking up at three thirty then three then two thirty then two then a break then a bit after one, all feeling shunted out of time. i am very tired and most things pass right through my head like words are rays of light and i am a cloud of vapor. it’s still nice sometimes, talking to people. i like to say things that are threaded somewhere between the self and small talk- things like interests and colors- because it is easier and it still means something. the world ends in my dreams because it does not always feel real and it never feels stable. i am hoping this will change in the summer.
iii. i lied and i have something else to say. (i am afraid we are going to do this again and again, slower and slower until it’s over for the last time)