i am never coloring like this again

I am so done with this. *throws the pastel monster down*

i am cutting my hair off and dyeing it again, wearing new colors, painting my face different shades. watch me exchange girl for battlecry, silence for thunderstorm, this body for a clean one. i am going to be new. i am going to be a girl you never hurt, a girl you’ll never know about. i do not want to be beautiful, i want to be so goddamn untouchable that no one will ever lay a hand on me again. watch this disaster unfold. this is not pretty, like fire, it is only destructive. it is only biting. i am only teeth.
—  girl begins again || sarah kate o.
2

Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes; your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for your… sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now, his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side… then perhaps she will…  (Insp)

You haunt me | AfterDeath

AU where Reaper is a famous singer and Geno is his old loyal fan.
Good for Geno, they got together because Reaper saw how desperate Geno was. Now they’re just having a good time together.
Thanks @anons for prompts for this AU. Great help ~

“You love me, am I wrong?”

Reaper is 24 and Geno is barely 20.


Gotta say rlly quick Im like
Really drunk right now sorry if it’s short


____

Life itself - is a dark place. Dark canvas with white color splashes, it’s like some artist created a painting he never cared about. The whole universe. We must fight for this white dots until it disappear again, like an autumn sunshine ray in the evening clouds.
Light in the dark; only sign of hope, love and compassion.

This feeling is thrilling, breathtaking. Feeling dizzy like you’re drunk, without wine. You’re so sensitive, no innocence. I like you, a lot.
Hands so cold. You’re cold.

There was never a lot of people at this time. 8PM, sun is dying over the horizon, giving away the last warmth that it has. Wind was blowing, birds were singing, people were getting ready to sleep. But when normal people are asleep, that’s when the craziest minds are awake.
The instrument strummed softly and warm in it master’s hands, light and cozy melody appeared, shining in the daylight like the guitar’s strings and flew away like a bird.
It felt so heavy, here, in the chest. It was getting through his brain, his clothes, bones, to his heart and soul. It’s wonderful how music can affect one’s heart.

So Geno listened, with his eyes closed.
Free from everything, letting the wind clung into his body, feeling quite happy.
He’s not alone anymore.
Warm wind blew again, and they stared at each other for a moment, thinking about… What?

“So, you like my new song?” deep, husky voice asked and Geno finally finished the beer bottle he forgot about, busy listening. This voice drove Geno crazy After a few seconds, he answered:

“It really touched my heart” he laughed quietly. “Actually, I love all your songs, Reaper. It just makes me want to make a flower crown and dance barefoot on the grass, not caring about shit”.
Aw, he is drunk.

Flashes, screams, big stages, money, glory - his head was going to explore. Everyone have their “hard” days when you just want some peace and quiet. No faces that makes you sick, no commands, orders.
Once he saw his eyes in the crowd, glowing with passion and love, he sweared, he will never forget them. It burned like fire, and if so, Reaper finally will get warm.

Reaper heard a rustle of clothes right after he stopped playing the guitar. Geno approached him closer, throwing away empty beer bottles.
Geno was a bottle himself. Opened, used, empty and thrown away by life.
Do you remember? Life itself - is a dark place. This artist is bad. Careless. Full of people, grey people. Grey people mixed the white and black together, positive emotions with depressing thoughts. Their mind is a mess, TV interference instead of a face. I don’t know which mask to wear today. Life is glitching out.


“I’m so glad I met you…” Geno was honest for the very first time in his life. He looked at Reaper with something strange in his eyes. Desire, or…?
Reaper smirked, enjoying of being complemented. He looked at the town beneath of them quiet and cozy, at the sun, slowly going away. Geno wasn’t patient, never.
This bird, right inside of Reaper’s inner golden cage, wanted to go out. No.
Reaper got used to people seeing him only like a money machine.
All this fake buddy-buddy conversations with his boss, little fangirls that more like a threat to him.

“Friends don’t flirt with each other” Reaper finally said, breathing out. He put the guitar away. Geno’s face expression became serious.
They wasn’t “friends”. At least Geno thought so.
Maybe years has passed since this concert. Years full of music and happiness… We all understand the word “Happiness” differently, right? And right here, right now Geno felt… Love. Love for this poor, selfish and rude skeleton next to him. This is torture - to stay silent.

“I want to hug you.”

“Go on.” Reaper closed his eyes, his smirk growing wider.

“And…” Geno stopped for a second. “Kiss you, too.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”


Last ray of sunlight shined and died.
Like everything else.
Reaper felt like his entire body was on fire that moment.
Geno wasn’t like the others. He loves the different way, he feels the different way, live… It was no fear in his eyes. No innocence. He didn’t care Reaper is a God of Stages right now. With Geno.. Reaper felt himself who he truly was.
Reaper liked him a lot.

“You’re ruining it, you wreck.” Reaper suddenly growled, playing with Geno’s emotions. He heard how Geno loudly sighed. Reaper cocked his head, smiling wide, listening to the wind. The barrel he was sitting on screeched but he didn’t care.
Like a child, knows nothing, what is good and what is bad. Running in the dark.

Suddenly Reaper felt something warm on his chest. When he looked down, he saw Geno, hugging him tight. Geno’s hands were warm, they held Reaper’s strong body tight.
Geno stayed silent, breathing loudly.

“If you don’t want me, make me disappear” he said, his voice muffled by Reaper’s soft clothes.
The singer laughed, but really carefully stroked Geno’s head in a calming manner.

“This place is ruins,” he said, almost whispering. Geno almost thought he heard the wind talking. “Ruins of our friendship. You ruined it, silly little Geno…”

“I don’t care” he replied but it was clearly heard in his voice that he was about to cry. Tight.

“Look at me,” Reaper commanded and Geno did so. The singer was looking at Geno from above. “This little life you have. Are you ready to expose of it?”

Geno felt tears running down his face.
So… Warm. No pressure. He was right here, so soft and… Different.

“Only for you” Geno whispered, his voice cracking. It got dark already, street lamps were lightning up, just like stars in the sky.
Reaper laughed softly at Geno’s cute tear-stained face. Then he washed this tears away with his sleeve. “No need to cry. Kissing me was the next part of your plan as far as I can remember.”
And then their lips finally met. The kiss was tender and soft at first, Reaper loved how impatient Geno was, still. Then it felt salty, sweaty, then the kiss became aggressive and of course, Reaper won the fight for dominance. He placed his hands on Geno’s waist, holding it tight and kissed Geno so hard their lips were hurt.

Fly away, bird. Find my melody and tell her, she’s not as depressing as everyone thought. As he thought.

Reaper pulled away first, leaving a trail of saliva connecting their mouths together.

“You really haunt me.”

  • me: so the cinderella dress flowed nicely but i don't really like the color. also the butterflies looked kinda cheap and i wish they used a different, non-iridescent fabric for the inner skirt
  • disney: *presents belle's dress* :^)
  • me: i am sorry i will never complain about cinderella's dress ever again i am so sorry
11:39 pm

it’s just another night where i spray paint poetry onto then moon

11:40 pm

i’m numb like wood of a decaying tree house

11:41 pm

i’m still intrigued by how you used to color my soul back into my body

11:42 pm

another elastic heart waiting for you

11:43 pm

i fell off of a skateboard once, i never tried it again– does love feel like this? should we still try even after the fall?

11:44 pm

i passed by a weeping willow last year, it’s still there– i’m still the same person from last year

11:45 pm

they say that finding your soulmate feels like ocean mosaics finally reaching the shoreline

11:46 pm

my poetry imitates the flamboyant colors of a peacock, but most days all i feel is grey– inside and out

11:47 pm

a prayer here, a prayer there– my faith doesn’t see past 12 am, a contrition made of woes

11:48 pm

casting all of these spells with an empty mana bar, pouring all of these feelings with my last heart found amongst the greenest blades of grass

11:49 pm



it’s just another ten minutes i won’t spend on anyone, it’s just another ten minutes of me, myself and i
—  ten min. gestures
I’m thinking about how happy I am with you, how happy I am to love a person like you and how happy I am to be loved by you. I feel so alive since the day we started to be like this. Thank you for entering my life unexpectedly and made it possible for me to fall in love again. You turned my life from a black and white motions of picture into a sky covered by a rainbow filled with colors. You managed to sweep away all the negative clouds surrounding my gloomy heart. You made everything beautiful in my life right now, it was all possible because of you that’s why I want to thank you. I hope you would never leave me because they might come back if that ever happened. I love you more than you think you do. I love you for who you are, for all the things you don’t know you can do. I love all the aspects I see that creates you as a being. I can be anything or everything, but all I know is that I cannot live without you. I don’t know if I’m capable of losing you, I will never give up on you because I can’t stand watching you love somebody else. I don’t want someone to make you smile more than I can. That smile of yours is only meant for me and those eyes of yours are only meant to see me. You’re only mine, this may sound selfish but who cares? Mine is mine, so you’re mine. You belong to me and nobody can steal you away from me. Our paths has crossed and that means we were made and meant for each other. I will fight for you in the very end, remember that whatever happens is I won’t give up on you and us. If you asked me why I fall in love with you, I don’t have an answer for that. I don’t why and I can’t explain it. It just happened. I think words are not enough to express what I felt or to describe them to you. I just felt it, I felt in my heart that I love you wholeheartedly. I just found myself smiling unconsciously when I thought of you and when I’m about to go to sleep. So, why do I love you? I just do. I just love all the things about you and all the things you do. Every time I see you, I say to myself that you’re God’s blessing for me. And, you know what? I don’t want a happy ending with you. I don’t want years. I want a happy eternity with you. I want this love we share for eternity, I don’t want any of this to end. I want them to last for a lifetime. I’ll always love you, no matter how many oceans there are between us. No matter how steep and wreck the hill we’re about to take. Just hold me in your arms and never let me go, I want to spend an eternity with you. I just want you; all your flaws, mistakes, laughs, sarcasm, smiles and jokes. Everything. I just want you. I love you for the first time and I still love you the last time. I will love you until the end of time. And, you aren’t a part of my life. Because you are already my life. I don’t know what will happen if I lost you, it’ll mean that I lost my life. It’s like living, but not actually living my life. Everything would be meaningless. I love you so much. I love you so much that I will cling onto any and every piece of you that I can.
—  S.L // A message #10
7

Some thoughts on the new figures~!!!

I really really love that they use original new molds for EVERY figure?! Like????

And I noticed that all akuma villains seem to have their accessories in the same red pink shade

and how they only come with one accessories compared to the two that the civilian/classmate forms get. (Besides our heros of course) but then again they much larger than any other accessory sooo

Idk if it’s just my Stormy Weather but her foot ain’t bent right and I am coNcErnEd

None of the villains can move like the heros can which is both interesting and confusing, was it to save money? The world may never know.

I have a feeling Volpina was released too but I just didn’t have her in my store??? Maybe?????

All the characters besides Chat and Adrien have ladybug posing on the cover.

They all have their own color scheme backgrounds as well. Chloe has blue and all the Akumas have purple with the akuma symbol on it.

That’s all I’ve noticed so far

after 7 grueling hours,,,,i have finally been able to semi achieve the manga style

also can you tell i used this pic as ref hahahaaa 

I am insecure.
And there are days that I feel so low that I do not even know how to comprehend the concept of “getting out of bed.” These days I will cry and cry and question how anybody could ever love me as fiercely as I do them. But I will never ask you to comfort me. You will never hear me ask for you to pick my shattered pieces off the rocks and put me back together because I have proven time and time again that I am capable of that on my own. All I will ever need from you during times like these is to stay.
Do not try to reassure me that my smile gives your life light or that the color of my eyes gives you hope. Do not whisper that my “body is a wonderland” that your hands will forever love to explore.
Most importantly, do not see the sight of my tears and self-loathing and run away.
Because that is the surest way to kill me.
—  Love me at my worst. (M.b.)

r-for-real  asked:

20, 35, 48, 50

20. Gore or no gore?

Mod-kun… has several tastes. I am not really sure if gore is one of her list. She was into torture but I never seen her crazing over something like gore… Maybe she is not really into it?

But I know she is not into any of those stuffs in “real life” and is actually pretty against it.

35. Favorite color?

If it weren’t for her mentioning it several times, I wouldn’t have guessed it was red.

She wears calm-colored shirts most of the time and black pants(to the point she was nicknamed “Black Leg” by her friends, hehe ♡). Then again, I am not wearing that much of blue myself, but it’s still my favorite color.

48. Ideal significant other?

Someone who can deeply care and understand her ♡ 

Someone who will be there through her thick and thin. To not to judge her. Understanding, accepting, and willing to sacrifice everything for her(because she would, too).

Someone like ME. ♡

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

50. Do they prefer inner or outer beauty?

Mod-kun said she never really cares for look. I guess that’s true, because if it weren’t, there would be more figures of the MARIMO on her desk with MY FIGURES rather than the longnose.

Ah~ That’s just how wonderful mod-kun is~ ♡ So sweet and caring and thoughtful and nice and beautiful~ ♡ ♡ ♡  She is not one to judge a person by their cover, even if they already have a reputation themselves- she would try to find out about the said person before judging them!

Mod-kun has a beautiful heart and soul~ and a pretty face too~ ♡ 

If I existed, we should totally go out together.

8

Shadowhunters meme
   ∟ [2/3] colors  → amber

接下來如何
Hello Nico
接下來如何

Hello Nico - 接下來如何 What happens next?

A song about a girl who thought she couldn’t love someone, and broke up with that person, but after that realizes that she did love that person, and doesn’t know how she can go back to the way things were.

未來沒人能夠預測 Nobody can predict the future
被誰喜歡 又喜歡誰呢 Who will like you, who will you like?
而下一步決定的那一瞬 And that moment when you decide the next step
轉成怎樣的天色 What color will the sky change to?
以為從此就不會愛了 I thought I would never love again
黑色 我關上了燈 Black, I turned off the light
當自己是無情緒的毛衣 When I am an emotionless sweater
誰冷 就給誰了 Whoever is cold, I’m theirs

非得等到自己也開始感覺累了 Only when I start to feel tired
累了 卻忘了出口是哪扇門 Tired, but I have forgotten which door is the exit
誰能教我該如何變殘忍 Who can teach me how to be cruel?
殘忍 卻是開始那刻說得還不夠狠 Cruel, I wasn’t harsh enough at the start
愛我的人我總是捨不得 I’m always reluctant to let go of those who love me
捨不得看他痛著 怎麼說出否認 Reluctant to see them hurt, how do I say no?
我愛的人我變得要不得 The person I love becomes one I can no longer want
要不得我愛的人 I can no longer want the person I love

刻意地製造一些些安穩 The little things I did to comfort you
卻成弄壞的雕刻 Instead became sculptures I spoilt
怎知道木偶有天變成人 How would I have known that a puppet would one day become human
學會怎麼愛了 And learn to love
想回到原本的單純 Want to return to the innocence of yore
白色 是自己弄髒的 White, I dirtied it myself
下一場大雨掉一身灰塵 After a downpour washes away a body of dust
重新 變透明了 Once again, transparent

非得等到自己開始討厭自己了 Only when I start to hate myself
才懂得怎麼誠實面對自己想要的 Then I understand how to honestly face my desires
是不該就這樣被原諒了 I don’t deserve to be forgiven just like that
說真的誰都曾為自己做出自私的選擇 But who hasn’t made selfish decisions?
愛我的人我還是捨不得  I’m still reluctant to let go of the person who loves me
捨不得看他痛著 即使被愛得疲倦了 Reluctant to see him hurt, even if I am exhausted by love
我愛的人卻變得愛不得 The person I love becomes someone I can no longer love
愛不得 要怎麼說出我愛上你了 Cannot love, but how do I tell you I’ve fallen in love with you?

I am writing a fic, and I am determined that some character is going to wear a peach dress. I know what the dress looks like even though I have never seen it before. I have debated several times who should wear the dress. The dress and its peach color are completely immaterial to the plot. It’s funny how these details get stuck in your head sometimes.

Water Will Always Spill Forth

I am home with no professional travel required for the month of June. I am going to LA in two weeks but that’s just for fun and for getting out of this place. I cannot stay here for a month straight. But. This is the first month in two years, when I don’t have an event. I have no idea what to do with myself. I have a crazy amount of work to get done. I have an apartment that looks like no one lives in it so I am trying to organize and put some order in my office, in particular. I have lost my writing mojo. I am depressed. I feel defeated where once I felt hopeful, all out of fight which makes me more depressed. I hate giving up but sometimes you have to give up. 

If I never write anything good again I will become a Fed Ex driver. At first I was going to become a UPS driver but I guess brown isn’t my color. So, I will try to look sporting in the purple uniform and I will dutifully deliver packages and drive that neat truck all around town.  

Before I can do that I need to get in shape so I’ve started back up with my trainer who is hot and impeccably muscled and young and not my type but nice to look at. This time around, I told him to “push me,” because “I’m ready for change” and so, suffice it to say, I can’t really move presently. When I got home from the gym today, I just limply fell onto my couch. Send help. This has been typed with the tip of my nose. 

Two weeks ago, I was in Stockholm, Sweden and I kept wondering what this thing at the end of the bed in my hotel room was. It took me three days to figure it out and then I was like, “How fucking clever.” 

It makes sense that it was so clever. I mean, IKEA. 

While I was in Sweden I had to do a lot of press which makes me uncomfortable. This was one of the photographers who did his best with what he had to work with. I always feel bad for the photographers when I go to photo shoots. I’m like, yeah, this is… me. I have no designer clothes to show off. I am probably not wearing make up. My hair is wild. I have freckles. I don’t want to be here, being photographed right now, so trust me, I’m being as polite as I can and hoping this ends very soon.

In Los Angeles, I was filmed for a documentary that is going to air on the National Geographic channel. If being photographed is uncomfortable, being filmed is one of the circles of hell closest to the fiery hell hot center. And I worried that I didn’t sound “academic” enough and I kept wondering, “Why did they pick me for this?” My brain never shuts up. It is exhausting. It went well, I think. 

A few days ago, I bought a new car. I bought this particular car because it was easy to seamlessly listen to Lemonade in the car. I walked into the dealership in jeans and a t-shirt and at first the guy didn’t take me seriously. I also know nothing about cars so I had stupid answers to some of his questions. Some of his questions I didn’t even understand. And some of his answers I didn’t understand. I asked, “Does this have a V8 engine?” HIs answer was bewildering but the short answer is, “No.”  

But. I knew what I wanted and how much I was willing to pay and I was more than happy to walk out of the dealership without a new car. That is freeing. This new car was a “splurge.” I didn’t need it. That’s new, being able to splurge. It’s weird. I never thought such a thing would be possible. I mean, I’m a writer. I am also not a “car person.” But my other car is very big and hard to park and I was just over it. I sent it to my Dad who will have a lot of fun hauling things around with it. 

Anyway, I went to the dealership around 5 pm so I had to come back the next day to finish the “paperwork,” and that took absolutely too much time. But when I walked in and went to my salesman’s cubicle he said, “I should ask you for an autograph,” and I said, “What?” See, the previous day, when he asked me what I did, I said, “I teach at Purdue.” That is true. I teach at Purdue. He went on to say, “I gave your paperwork to my manager and he said, ‘do you know who this is?” and the salesman said yeah she teaches at Purdue and the manager said, that’s not all she does.” Long story short, after that I got GREAT service. Luxurious, as DJ Khaled would say.

But…I’m just… a writer.

And maybe soon to be a Fed Ex driver. 

The new car is from the future and it has a lot of features and a steep learning curve so I am pretty scared to drive it. I haven’t taken it on the high way yet. I need to figure everything out first. The most annoying “feature” is that when the car comes to a stop at an intersection, the engine shuts off. Then, when you tap the gas, it starts back up. Hateful. 

Speaking of DJ Khaled, I am on Snapchat now. 

I tweet a lot about HGTV shows so they sent me a bag of HGTV swag. Don’t ever IN YOUR LIFE tell me Twitter is a waste of time.

I saw this fountain in Stockholm and just thought it was cool. It looks like a mouth, from which water will always spill forth. 

I use the word “just” too much. 

While I was in Sweden, I was reminded that ABBA is one of their major exports and sure enough, there is an ABBA museum. I did not see any members of ABBA or Roxette while I was there. I looked, though. 

Also, everywhere I went in Sweden, I saw this little guy, running. 

I went to my first roller derby bout. It was very intense–women with amazing thighs, in tiny shorts, skating around a banked track, kicking ass and throwing hands. I am still not entirely sure I understand how the game works but it was a blast to watch. 

In a hotel, the other day, I saw this egg holder and I found it quite clever. I had one of those tomato slices you see pictured and it was delicious. I am quite a fan of tomatoes.

In Kansas City, recently, I married my friends Casey and Josh. That is, I performed the marriage ceremony. I wrote a little something for them that was also a message in a bottle, a bright neon sign, a declaration, a fool’s errand, a promise.

The whole wedding was a celebration. It was lovely to be there. Also, Casey bakes the most amazing pies. One of the pies was a salted honey pie and it was delicious. Look at these gentlemen. I am so happy for them. 

Despite my own defeats, seeing them commit their lives to each other, it gave me hope. I can’t help myself. I am a romantic. I will always be a foolish girl. 

Happy Odaiba Day! :D

Odaiba Week Day 1 - The Power of Friendship

Knowing my dash would be FLOODED with Adventure art (which I am in no way complaining about <3), I wanted to give Frontier a little love (that and I just rewatched the entire thing and ugh guys I don’t understand why is this season so underrated).

ANYWAY, I could go on and on about why I love these two and the friendship they have and how it evolves over the series, but instead I’ll just link you to my absolute favorite collaboration of their’s: Get the Biggest Fire!! (Seriously this thing cracks me up. XD I’m guessing most Frontier fans have heard it, but Odaiba Day is a good day to give it another listen, lol.)