i am moderately proud of myself

anonymous asked:

I'm browsing the blog and I happened across the discussion about moderators, Eon and Susie, and how they were bullied for being light. As a high yellow light skinned woman, myself, my allegiance to BlackLivesM and Black Rights are often criticized as well. I'm letting anyone lighter know that they are valid. Do not let darkers make you feel less Black and accepted. Rosa Parks was light and did everything for Black Civil Rights. I'm proud to be Black.

now what in the absolute hell am i reading on this very day in the year 2017 of our lord

Hey!

 Sorry it’s been so long since the last update! Senior year is crazy! Just finished day 13 of the blogilates beginners 2.0 calendar! I’m so proud of myself! I don’t know if there are crazy results yet but I have to tell myself that this is going to take time. But I am feeling a bit more confident recently! I’ve also been trying to eat better but I’m also trying not to be hard on myself for eating some unhealthy things (I’m 18 and a high school senior. I mean, come on! Junk food should be expected in moderation). I might add running three times a week but am still trying to decide. What do y’all think? 

One year ago, right now, I was sitting in a hospital gown with IVs in my arm, about to be wheeled back to the surgery room.

Since then, I have changed so much. Yes, I have lost 130 pounds. Yes, I have dropped dress sizes. And that’s fantastic, and I’m really proud of myself for that.

But the best part of my weight loss is how I feel. I feel stronger. I am more confident. I feel like I can express myself better. I feel healthy.

I eat better, I exercise, I practice gratitude and mindfulness. This journey has taught me so much more than weight loss. It has taught me its ok to be who I am, to take things in moderation, and to enjoy the little things in life.

Happy one year surgiversary to me! Here’s to another great year!

huntysan  asked:

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool~) 🌈🌈 (you don't have to lmao) back at cha :D

oh damn! i’ve been had! let’s see if i can think of some other things…

6. i’m proud and only moderately embarrassed of my dungeons and dragons mini collection
7. i think my sense of humor is pretty great. i crack myself up.
8. i can run a mile and that’s pretty cool
9. when i have the energy i think my fashion is pretty cool
10. i think i already said this but i am surrounded by wonderful people who support me and i’m pretty proud of that

The photos are not quite 3 years apart and while it’s not a massive amount of progress it’s crazy to see how differently I hold myself. You can see just how uncomfortable I am in the first picture, I was 14 and at my highest weight, I hated myself with a passion and that holiday was a torture. Every picture felt like a slap to the face, I was dieting like crazy during this time, restricting then binging and crying every time I looked in the mirror. I didn’t start my journey to fitness until a year ago and in the second photo I am healthy and happy. Still far from where I want to be but I no longer hold myself like I hate who I am. I eat healthy and treat myself in moderation, exercise 3-5 times a week both strength and cardio and most of all I love my self. 14 year old me would be so proud and 17 year old me is.

I’m posting this not to flaunt my body or to cause any feelings of comparison. I’m posting this for the fact that I am proud of the trust I’ve had for myself lately. Lately my body image hasn’t been good and I know it directly correlates with the whole ‘not running, I have been injured’ for months type of thing, but this is my body on moderate exercise (swimming 5 days a week for about 25-30 minutes, nothing too strenuous, doing planks and push-ups every day, again, nothing too strenuous) and eating a vegan diet, mostly high-carb (but not limited to).

I am trying to trust the process of everything, including rehab for running, who I am as a person, what I do for others, what I’m doing to reach my goals in terms of school, jobs, and most of all– what I’m doing for my body: eating in abundance of whole foods, resting when necessary and when I feel like, and respecting it, something I did not do for a long time.

Good things take time, great things take time, and that includes your body. Your ‘goal body’ should be the way your body is every day, every time. You will never reach an ‘end result,’ because your body changes every day, every second. You will never be happy if you focus on an ‘end result’ because you will miss out on what your body does for you EVERY DAY– keeping you alive, functioning, protecting you from illness and injury…

Cherish it. Trust yourself and eat well, move in ways that make you feel good, rest, get enough sleep, drink water, and be positive.

I weighed myself today, and I’ve lost another 5 pounds! 

So that means I’ve lost 30 pounds now since August 22nd. I’m so incredibly proud of myself, I’ve worked so hard.

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling, don’t give up. It will come!

Also, don’t starve yourself. I can honestly say that I am not eating unhealthily in order to lose weight. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve had chocolate every single day since I’ve been here! It’s all moderation :)

I have no idea whether this post will be inspirational or not but I have been feeling the need to write it for a while, after today I think it’s perfect timing.

If you were to go back to where I was when I began in December 2011 and ask me if I could get to where I am now, I would have blown a raspberry and honestly have said ‘I wish’.

Like I am NOT even shitting you (shitting my eyes out andthesearenotthehammer) I looked at befores and afters online and truly believed that I was no where near good enough or capable of being a before and after girl. But I’m not just a before and after girl, like yeah - I’ve lost over 5 stone, I’m smaller, I can fit in small clothes now - but that is absolutely nothing on who have I grown into as a person, what I now know about myself, nutrition, self love, loving others and a whole other array of things that I couldn’t have ever known I would be able to understand and the skills and care I could harness.

I knew virtually NOTHING about food and to be honest - I am still learning now. 

I used to run at 200lbs and be out of breath within seconds (okay lets say a more walk/jog than a run), my knees would hurt, my huge bazonkas would make me seriously uncomfortable and I felt pathetic.

I run now (smaller buswarms) and whilst of course I get out of breath - I kill it - I kill it with everything I have. I can run hills thanks to my legs that can squat over 70kg and I can carry on when I feel I have nothing left in me.

Weight loss is not just about losing fat from your body, being accepted in society and having more of the opposite or same sex like you, weight loss and the journey brings you 10x more than that, it’s like as you close one door another opens, you’re constantly striving to become something more than you were yesterday. 

I truly believe that we can be reborn. I feel reborn. That might sound far-fetched to you but I AM NOT the girl I once was. Having suffered from a brutal and obliterating depression I just do not see the girl in me that once was. I have evolved into something stronger than I ever could have imagined.

You’re like 'how’? 
Nothing happened to me, nobody came to save me and I didn’t just find a magic jar of determination. I made a choice, a choice to be better than I was yesterday and I climbed a mountain and another mountain, and another. I came back down and stayed there some weeks, even months  but I either climbed the same mountain or I took on another. I felt like those before and after girls were superheroes when really they just made a choice, a choice as freely as I could make - and I did.

I cannot even begin to comprehend my entire journey, I certainly couldn’t fit it into one post. Low calorie eating, to exercise and a higher intake, to an obsession with protein, Jillian Michaels, Insanity, Illness, Juicing, moderate carb, low carb, keto, running, lifting heavy, being a badass, loving people more, accepting people, not being quick to judge anymore, loving MYSELF unconditionally and with so much love that I never thought I could find.

I am just so so proud of myself and I can’t wait to help others be proud of themselves too.

Bring on the Raevolution, it’s already begun.