i am looking at my choices

6

“What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her… You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.”

            ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

cipher-agent  asked:

#13 from the fluff drabble list for any pairing of your choice! :-)

13 - “God, you’re so beautiful.”

Guzma’s been staring at you all day. 

It starts with little glances while you’re eating breakfast. While he moodily chews his granola bar from atop his throne, his eyes flick to your face, his expression completely unreadable. You might’ve missed it, had you not been staring at him in the first place. At first, you think maybe he’s just looking at one of the other Grunts, or just gazing aimlessly across his little gang.

But then it happens again, and it keeps happening throughout the day. These gazes are harder to miss, and they grow in length each time, until eventually he’s just openly watching you without shame. Your face is perpetually red, something you try to play off as just being the Alolan heat. It becomes a distraction, feeling his eyes upon you, and your training with the other Grunts doesn’t go well.

As punishment for your many losses in training, you’re banished to cleaning duty. The other Grunts laugh derisively as they drop their dirty dishes into the sink full of soapy water and leave you. 

While you clean, you get just one visitor. The Boss himself. Casually, he leans against the door frame to the kitchen, hands in his pockets, and seems content to merely stare at you like he has all day.

But now you’re humiliated and angry, and you turn away from the dishes to glare in his direction.

“So what gives, Boss? You been starin’ at me all day, makin’ me all flustered, and now you come in here just to gloat? I got thrashed ‘cause of you. Is it ‘cause I’m the newbie?”

A lazy, lopsided grin curves his lip as he approaches you. He saunters closer, a smug glint to his eye. “That’s what you think?”

“That’s what’s happenin’, ain’t it?” 

He’s close now, pressing you back against the counter, and your heart skips a beat when his hands touch your hips. “Nah, sweet thing,” he says quietly, and you can’t breathe. “I been starin’ cause… God, you’re so beautiful.”

“…Boss.”

A low chuckle escapes him. “You can call me Guzma, babe… Not that I don’t like ‘Boss’…”

anonymous asked:

Aren’t you guys scared that that asshole is going to tell Eddie’s mum about you two? Because I’m so scared. He’s an asshole and you can expect everything from an asshole, we’ve actually had a proper demonstration, unfortunately..

Honestly, I’m likely going to have to come out to my mom Sunday after Richie goes to the farmhouse. After everything that happened, I really don’t think I have a choice… 

I also am fairly sure that I kissed Rich in front of her and my aunts yesterday but everything was so fast and scary and shit that I am not fully sure.. I do know my mom has been giving me odd looks whenever I’m downstairs but that could very well be because I still have more people in the house than she wants to be here.

The thing is, I know my mom won’t be happy. She has very strong views on LBGT+ issues, but I don’t really think telling her will result in anything awful.I’m really just…. not sure what to expect but I do know that having my boyfriend beat up and half out of it on pain meds in my bed when I do come out likely isn’t the best idea.

- eddie  

Here it is, here’s my ACA Open Enrollment Plug:

If you’re in NYS, DO NOT SIGN UP WITH FIDELIS CARE. 

If you support real religious freedom (i.e. your religious choices are between you and your god, you have a right to privacy)

if you have endometreosis or any other complex reproductive-system-related condition

if you want to keep seeing your gyno, and want to be able to access all the services your gyno provides

DO NOT SIGN UP WITH FIDELIS.

They don’t have the guts to say this anywhere you’d notice it while you’re perusing the plan benefits– I actually did try quite hard to go through all the fine print but I missed it. And clearly, New York State expects you to miss it. Because when I signed up, after a couple of months, they sent me this letter, which clearly indicates that they didn’t expect me to already have realized this: 

“Fidelis, the health plan you joined, does not pay for family planning services.” (That last is bold and underlined.)

The back side of the letter tells me to go to Planned Parenthood. Here’s the whole text:

(Photo is of a list of places in several counties where you can get family planning services. Note that one of the counties in the list contains no family planning clinics and lists no options.)

I have a primary care physician who does my gyno care. This tells me, in effect, that I’m going to have to find another gyno to do that, because my insurance company won’t reimburse my PCP for a visit where she mentions birth control. 

Now, what my personal medical needs are, are immaterial to this discussion, but I am making this post because I know a lot of people are trying to choose plans right now. And it is NOT OBVIOUS that Fidelis is a Catholic company– they changed their name from Catholic Health Plan of NYS for that reason, I think.

So– BE AWARE, because they’re sure as hell not going to make it obvious.

I don’t know if this is legal in any other states, or if Fidelis exists in any other states, but LOOK FOR THIS KIND OF THING when you sign up!! Explicitly CHECK TO MAKE SURE. 

I am going to switch away from Fidelis not because I can’t stand to go to Planned Parenthood, but because I don’t want to support a company in any way that feels it can dictate my health choices because of its religious beliefs. 

9

Vote For Your Favs (2/15)

↳Chrom

Icons are free to use, credit is not necessary (but appreciated)

I dont even know why I made this. 🤹🏼‍♀️

I’m not even into Jake. 🐺

But this is what he looks like in my mind whenever everyone goes gaga over him. 😽

“You should fuck her to make her realize she’s gay.” He said this about me during a cast and crew “meet and greet” before we began filming, X Men: The Last Stand. I was eighteen years old. He looked at a woman standing next to me, ten years my senior, pointed to me and said: “You should fuck her to make her realize she’s gay.” He was the film’s director, Brett Ratner.

I was a young adult who had not yet come out to myself. I knew I was gay, but did not know, so to speak. I felt violated when this happened. I looked down at my feet, didn’t say a word and watched as no one else did either. This man, who had cast me in the film, started our months of filming at a work event with this horrific, unchallenged plea. He “outed” me with no regard for my well-being, an act we all recognize as homophobic. I proceeded to watch him on set say degrading things to women. I remember a woman walking by the monitor as he made a comment about her “flappy pussy”.

We are all entitled to come into an awareness of our sexual orientation privately and on our own terms. I was young and although already a working actor for so long I had in many ways been insulated, growing up on film sets instead of surrounded by my peers. This public, aggressive outing left me with long standing feelings of shame, one of the most destructive results of homophobia. Making someone feel ashamed of who they are is a cruel manipulation, designed to oppress and repress. I was robbed of more than autonomy over my ability to define myself. Ratner’s comment replayed in my mind many times over the years as I encountered homophobia and coped with feelings of reluctance and uncertainty about the industry and my future in it. The difference is that I can now assert myself and use my voice to to fight back against the insidious queer and transphobic attitude in Hollywood and beyond. Hopefully having the position I have, I can help people who may be struggling to be accepted and allowed to be who they are –to thrive. Vulnerable young people without my advantages are so often diminished and made to feel they have no options for living the life they were meant to joyously lead.

I got into an altercation with Brett at a certain point. He was pressuring me, in front of many people, to don a t-shirt with “Team Ratner” on it. I said no and he insisted. I responded, “I am not on your team.” Later in the day, producers of the film came to my trailer to say that I “couldn’t talk like that to him.” I was being reprimanded, yet he was not being punished nor fired for the blatantly homophobic and abusive behavior we all witnessed. I was an actor that no one knew. I was eighteen and had no tools to know how to handle the situation.

I have been a professional actor since the age of ten. I’ve had the good fortune to work with many honorable and respectful collaborators both behind and in front of the camera. But the behavior I’m describing is ubiquitous. They (abusers), want you to feel small, to make you insecure, to make you feel like you are indebted to them, or that your actions are to blame for their unwelcome advances.

When I was sixteen a director took me to dinner (a professional obligation and a very common one). He fondled my leg under the table and said, “You have to make the move, I can’t.” I did not make the move and I was fortunate to get away from that situation. It was a painful realization: my safety was not guaranteed at work. An adult authority figure for whom I worked intended to exploit me, physically. I was sexually assaulted by a grip months later. I was asked by a director to sleep with a man in his late twenties and to tell them about it. I did not. This is just what happened during my sixteenth year, a teenager in the entertainment industry.

Look at the history of what’s happened to minors who’ve described sexual abuse in Hollywood. Some of them are no longer with us, lost to substance abuse and suicide. Their victimizers? Still working. Protected even as I write this. You know who they are; they’ve been discussed behind closed doors as often as Weinstein was. If I, a person with significant privilege, remain reluctant and at such risk simply by saying a person’s name, what are the options for those who do not have what I have?

Let’s remember the epidemic of violence against women in our society disproportionately affects low income women, particularly women of color, trans and queer women and indigenous women, who are silenced by their economic circumstances and profound mistrust of a justice system that acquits the guilty in the face of overwhelming evidence and continues to oppress people of color. I have the means to hire security if I feel threatened. I have the wealth and insurance to receive mental health care. I have the privilege of having a platform that enables me to write this and have it published, while the most marginalized do not have access to such resources. The reality is, women of color, trans and queer and indigenous women have been leading this fight for decades (forever actually). Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Winona LaDuke, Miss Major, Audre Lorde, bell hooks, to name a few. Misty Upham fought tirelessly to end violence against indigenous women, domestic workers and undocumented women. Misty was found dead at the bottom of a cliff three years ago. Her father, Charles Upham, just made a Facebook post saying she was raped at a party by a Miramax executive. The most marginalized have been left behind. As a cis, white lesbian, I have benefited and have the privileges I have, because of these extraordinary and courageous individuals who have led the way and risked their lives while doing so. White supremacy continues to silence people of color, while I have the rights I have because of these leaders. They are who we should be listening to and learning from.

These abusers make us feel powerless and overwhelmed by their empire. Let’s not forget the sitting Supreme Court justice and President of the United States. One accused of sexual harassment by Anita Hill, whose testimony was discredited. The other proudly describing his own pattern of assault to an entertainment reporter. How many men in the media – titans of industry - need to be exposed for us to understand the gravity of the situation and to demand the fundamental safety and respect that is our right?

Bill Cosby was known to be predatory. The crimes were his, but many were complicit. Many more chose to look the other way. Harvey was known to be predatory. The crimes were his, but many were complicit. Many more chose to look the other way. We continue to celebrate filmmaker Roman Polanski, who was convicted of drugging and anally raping a young girl and who fled sentencing. A fugitive from justice. I’ve heard the industry decry Weinstein’s behavior and vow to affect meaningful change. But let’s be truthful: the list is long and still protected by the status quo. We have work to do. We cannot look the other way.

I did a Woody Allen movie and it is the biggest regret of my career. I am ashamed I did this. I had yet to find my voice and was not who I am now and felt pressured, because “of course you have to say yes to this Woody Allen film.” Ultimately, however, it is my choice what films I decide to do and I made the wrong choice. I made an awful mistake.

I want to see these men have to face what they have done. I want them to not have power anymore. I want them to sit and think about who they are without their lawyers, their millions, their fancy cars, houses upon houses, their “playboy” status and swagger.

What I want the most, is for this to result in healing for the victims. For Hollywood to wake up and start taking some responsibility for how we all have played a role in this. I want us to reflect on this endemic issue and how this power dynamic of abuse leads to an enormous amount of suffering. Violence against women is an epidemic in this country and around the world. How is this cascade of immorality and injustice shaping our society? One of the greatest risks to a pregnant woman’s health in the United States is murder. Trans women of color in this country have a life expectancy of thirty-five. Why are we not addressing this as a society? We must remember the consequences of such actions. Mental health issues, suicide, eating disorders, substance abuse, to name a few.

What are we afraid to say and why can’t we say it? Women, particularly the most marginalized, are silenced, while powerful abusers can scream as loudly as they want, lie as much as they want and continue to profit through it all.

This is a long awaited reckoning. It must be. It’s sad that“codes of conduct” have to be enforced to ensure we experience fundamental human decency and respect. Inclusion and representation are the answer. We’ve learned that the status quo perpetuates unfair, victimizing behavior to protect and perpetuate itself. Don’t allow this behavior to be normalized. Don’t compare wrongs or criminal acts by their degrees of severity. Don’t allow yourselves to be numb to the voices of victims coming forward. Don’t stop demanding our civil rights. I am grateful to anyone and everyone who speaks out against abuse and trauma they have suffered. You are breaking the silence. You are revolution.

– Ellen Page

Skyline {III}

Originally posted by coolbackflips

Warnings: Blood

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: You guys!!!!  I can’t believe you are all so nice honestly!!!!  I hit 500 followers today so as a thank you, here is pt. 3 a day earlier than expected!!  Forgive me if there are any mistakes, as I stayed up late to finish it (I have to be up in six hours for work oh lord) and I really hope you guys like it.  There most definitely will be a pt. 4, and possibly pt. 5, as this scene became longer than expected, and I decided to split it between two chapters.  Again, thank you so much, guys.  All my love.

{part I} {part II}

As the end of August neared, you began to fear the return of school.  Not because you hated it—in fact, you were fond of school.  You liked learning, you liked seeing your friends from certain classes, and you even missed some of your teachers. However, with the return of your school came the return of Spider-Man’s school.  He had explained to you how difficult it was to balance the responsibilities of his civilian life with the responsibilities of being a superhero. Between those tightropes of time management, you doubted there would be any hours allotted to visiting you.

You knew that you had no right to be sad about your predicament.  The right thing to do would be to not think selfishly, and just be happy with the time you were given with someone who doesn’t normally share their world. But, no matter how many times you had a talk with yourself, you still couldn’t bring yourself out of your melancholy thoughts.

Keep reading

Don’t Tell Me This Wasn’t Intentional

So going back and taking another look at things, with the idea of parallels in mind, I can’t help but think this sequence of shots was done purposefully to evoke a similar reaction from the viewer. Now I am not a film student or expert of any kind, just someone who has watched enough TV/movies in her lifetime to recognize things like this. And once you can pick these things out of what you’re watching, I think it helps you as a viewer.

Originally I did wonder why Mike briefly looked–alarmed? sad?–after HE encouraged Will to go dance with random girl, and I wondered if maybe it was just a bizarre acting choice that should have been cut, or a different take used, because it initially confused the hell out of me like “what am I supposed to be feeling from THAT reaction?”, or if I was just misinterpreting it totally.

Well, I knew what I felt, but I wasn’t sure if that reaction provoked was intended. Now I totally feel like, yep, it was.

Observe the lovely. Parallels going on in this scene and ignore my crappy screencaps from my phone.

So Lucas takes Max out to dance. Awww aren’t they sweet? I am kinda loving that Lucas got the girl. Adorable little nuggets.

Then we immediately get a shot of poor Dustin looking out at them, forlorn. Poor Dustin. Don’t worry, one day your princess (or Prince, don’t limit yourself!) will come.

And now is when things get interesting. Because right after this the random girl asks “zombie boy” to dance, Will freaks out and looks to Mike like “Do I have to!?!?” and Mike encourages him nonverbally, like twice, to dance with her.

And as soon as Will leaves to dance with random girl we get this reaction shot.

And this is what confused the hell out of me. Why does he look so….THAT….when he pushed Will to go dance? Shouldn’t he be happy? Smiling? Smug supportive bestie so happy his bestie gets to dance with a cute girl? 

Then we cut to this shot.

Waaaait a minute. This is all so….familiar….somehow….if only I could put my finger on why this all seems set up and filmed in such a similar fashion then maaaaybe I could figure out just what emotion they were going for there with Mike’s reaction and….

And then they cut to Mike and Dustin both staring sadly out on to the dance floor. Dustin all staring and sad because, well, he lost the girl he liked to his friend and he’s heartbroken, and Mike staring sadly because….well…uhhhh….because….ummm.


Oh. OH.


Well shit. 


Now I get Mike’s reaction face. It all makes perfect sense. I mean, I guess there *could* be other interpretations, but if so, once again the old argument arises, why direct and shoot and edit this scene like that? Because everything that just transpired was laid out in such a fashion that, if you’re paying attention, tells you what’s going on and what you should be feeling. It was shot to make you feel like you were not only watching one love triangle play out, but TWO. Well done.

Parallels delicious parallels *twirls* 

Baby Sister

Summary: The reader is a year younger than her brother, Steve Harrington. She has been sneaking out to see Billy and Steve finds out. A little bit of Billy fluff as well….

Author’s Note: These boys I SWEAR. I’ve seen a request to do a part two, so let me know if that’s something you’d like. xxxx

Originally posted by hcrringrcve

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Certainty

Originally posted by misunderstood-adventures

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (ft. Steve)

Content/Warnings: angst; fluff

Words: 1645

A/N: I’ve got a Bucky Barnes soulmate AU here for you. Obviously a bit of an AU from canon, but hey, I couldn’t help myself. This is set after CA:TWS. It was requested by anon for 15. Your soulmate’s scars appear on your body (and vise versa). Enjoy, guys!


You have had the ugly scar that ringed around your shoulder since birth. It was jagged, and looked old, as if it had happened a long time ago. Your parents were concerned, understandabley, and only slightly less so when the doctor stated that it wasn’t yours, but rather your soulmate’s instead. You seemed to always be getting some sort of new scar. Most faded, but there were some that looked suspiciously like bullet wounds. And you couldn’t help but notice that other than the scar around your shoulder, your left arm never received any sort of marks compared to the rest of your body.

The first person you ever showed that scar to, outside of your parents and the doctor, was Steve. You had first met Steve, or Captain America, as he was better known, when he was fresh out of the ice. Fury requested that you take him in, teach him about the new world he lived in, until he could get on his feet. Steve was the perfect gentleman, and despite the fact that you were born decades apart you struck up an instant friendship. You had ended up showing the scar on accident, when you had left your room in a tank top in search of your hoodie.

“Y/N?” Steve had asked, brow scrunching together in curious confusion, eyes finding the noticeable scar immediately. “What happened?”

You shrugged. The feeling of discomfort you expected never came. Probably because Steve was never one to make anyone, least of all you, uncomfortable. “Don’t know. It’s not mine, it’s my soulmate’s.”

“Oh,” He said simply. You thought you caught a glimmer of sadness in his eyes, but you didn’t pry, and neither did he.

Keep reading

Call Me Mistress – Ramen (M) (Part 3)

Summary: The Mistress has her first session with Ramen, her newest client.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 12,176

Warning: Sub!Jungkook, Domme!Reader, BDSM, femdom, sexual themes, nipple play, masturbation, teasing, edging, overstimulation, sex toys, profanity

Series: Call Me Mistress

A/N: If you thought Part 2 was something…Enjoy, dears!

Client List: Prologue | River (Namjoon) | Ramen (Jungkook): Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3 | (more forthcoming)

Keep reading

Another Sims 4 Giveaway


Sorry for this terrible post I am TIED™ chile. But I just reached my first humble follower milestone and wanna do a giveaway as a celebration and display of appreciation! First of all, thanks to those of you that have stuck around through all of my random absences and constantly changing editing style (looking at you @yuyulie @cheniasims) and continue Keeping Up With the Kings™; I appreciate you guys.

Anywaythe rules are simple:

  • -Reblog thiis post
  • -Make sure your messenger is turned on.
  • -Be following me (this is a follower gift, after all.)
  • Be a simblr.
  • Have an Origin account

The winner will receive their choice of either one Expansion Pack, two Game Packs, or Four Stuff Packs. (Multiple winners will be chosen if the first winner, say, only needs one Game Pack to complete their collection.)
The the winner gets chosen next Friday, November 24th!  

Thanks and good luck from Godi!

8

You had showered and dressed into new clean clothes, you were sure you had erased any scent of it off you. Of course, that wouldn’t be the only hurdle you would have to face to hide your little escapade from your family. 

First was Alice, you had to get around her. So, you met at La Push, where her gift couldn’t see on you on the Reservation. 

The second was Edward, you would need to keep your mind calm and quite, and not think about it. But actively trying not to think about it, made it harder.

You might be able to do this. You’ve hidden things from Edward before. You had many years of practice after all. 

But years of practice hadn’t helped you today. You had made it three feet in the house before you heard a loud groan of anguish from somewhere inside. Considering Edward could read minds in a couple miles radius, you were impressed you made it to the house first without him knowing, let alone inside. Even if it was three steps. 

The next second, Edward was in front of you, your older brother, staring down at you, a dismayed expression on his face. 

Why?”

His voice calm and even. Somehow that made it worse. Your face flushing red. “Butt out.”

Emmett strolled into the room, a light frown on his face, “Whats up?”

Edward looked at you, with a look that said: Should you tell him, or I?

Edward, I am nineteen years old, and I have a right as a goddamn human to make the choice I made. Are you really going to do this to me? Your fired back in your mind. Is this the impression you want to leave me with from Sex? Negative and unhealthy?

His ridged form tensed up, “Y/N, see things from my view -”

“No!” you interjected, “My decision, my right as a human, too. Remember that.” 

Walking around him, you made your way upstairs.

“I don’t get it,” Emmett said, looking between you two, “What happened?”

“Our dear little sister had sex, that’s what happened.”

It set off a domino effect. 

You whirled around, firing out vicious words. 

Emmett let out a loud, shocked ‘WHAT?!’, staring at you in confusion. 

(Really, they were going to blow it wide out of proportion.)

Alice and Rose appeared at the foot of the stairs, not mad, more amused. Honestly, they agreed with you. All the men in the house were going to take this too personally. 

Jasper looked like a hurt child, “Y/N, I thought we agreed the acceptable age would be a hundred, why …”

In the other room, Esme and Carlisle shared a look. Honestly, their children … ironically happened to act like your parents too, where being too harsh on you. 

They at least understood you were an adult to make this decision.

“Guys!” you screamed, “I will take you all out when I turn, so stop treating me like I am a child.”

“Who is it?” Emmett asked, “I want a name, phone number, home address. Does he have a job?”

“Emmett -”

“Answer the question Y/n.” Jasper and Edward said in union.

“Rosalie back me up, you say you want me to have normal human experiences!”

Rosalie turned on them, sudden filled with indignation, “She’s right. Leave her be. This isn’t any of your business anyway.”

Their eyes flickered between you and Rose and left, no doubt plotting a murder with the information Edward had gathered from your mind. 

Alice looked at you, “I’m impressed you got that around me.”

“We’ll, living with Vampires makes you more sneakier then the average person.”

Rosalie linked her arm through yours, going into best friend/ mother mode, “Let’s get away from listening ears and talk.”

You knew Rose, she would be open minded on it all, and it would be nice to talk to someone about it. Alice too.

“I concur. Let’s go.”

~Admin Bree

So my dad told me that there was going to be a heat wave in my area tomorrow and possibly the next day and the first damn thing I think is “Well of course, you gotta celebrate the hottest person’s birthday with the hottest day” and then I just imagined Oikawa saying that and Iwaizumi just throwing a chair or some shit at him like gdi why are you like this

On the Social Dimension of Disability: “I don’t think of you that way.”

I can’t count the amount of people who have said some variation of “I don’t think of you that way” when it comes up that I’m disabled.

Disability (n.):  a physical or mental condition that limits a person’s movements, senses, or activities.

I have permanent paralysis in my shoulder, arm, and hand from an injury to my brachial plexus. My range of motion in that arm is about 40% of what a typical, uninjured arm would be, not to mention my underdeveloped strength, dislocated shoulder, and the resulting scoliosis. I could go on. Based on the simplest, literal definition, I am definitely disabled, because at the very least, compared with a typical body, my movements are limited.*

So, why am I always hearing “I don’t think of you that way”? 

Often a person says it to relieve their own social discomfort or cognitive dissonance, either because I’ve self-identified as disabled or because they’ve said something disparaging about disabled people. Examples:

  • My boyfriend’s mom says she has “crippling self-doubt.” My boyfriend says, “bad word choice,” gesturing to me. She does a double take, looks my way, and says “Oh, I’m sorry, it didn’t occur to me because I don’t see you that way.”
  • My college roommate and I are chatting and I mention, in a neutral tone, that I am disabled. In the voice of someone finally expressing something that’s been bothering her, she says “I don’t know why you think of yourself that way. I don’t think of you that way.”

In the first example, my boyfriend’s mom uses “crippling,” (cripple (n.): a person who is partially or totally unable to use one or more limbs) as shorthand to say that her self-doubt prevents her from normal activities, or at least from the activities she’d prefer to take part in. When my boyfriend points out that this metaphor implies physical disability (such as mine) necessarily means abnormal, negative, or useless, she experiences discomfort. She relieves it by saying, “I don’t think of you that way,” preserving the abnormal, negative, or useless associations in her head with physical disability. Because she sees me as normal, useful, productive, I must not be disabled. The definition of disability shifts from a value-neutral description of physical or mental difference to a negative social role, in order to exclude me.

In the second example, my roommate does something similar. Although I don’t express sadness or anger when calling myself disabled, it makes her upset, and she pushes back. That’s because, rather than seeing disability as a value-neutral physical or mental difference, she sees it as a negative social role. In her mind, by self-identifying this way, I’m insulting myself.

The problem with both these lines of logic is twofold:

  • The definition of disability shifts at will in order to protect the nondisabled person’s perception of disability as a negative attribute.
  • Inclusion and exclusion into this social role shifts at will in order to protect the nondisabled person’s perception of disability as a negative attribute and attitude toward disabled people that they do “think of that way.”

If I’m not disabled, then I have no way to explain why I was told not to become a lifeguard, or why men routinely refuse to date me because my “arm is just too weird,” or why strangers approach me to tell me how great it is that I’m out living life. I lose out on putting a name to these negative experiences (which is a necessary part of healing from them and fighting back) in order to protect nondisabled people’s shifting definition of disability.

Worse still, if I’m not disabled, then disabled people are just the faceless, abnormal, negative, useless Other. If, as soon as a person because a valued figure in your life, they’re excluded from that group, it is far too easy to dehumanize, objectify, and disenfranchise that group. 


*I wouldn’t trade that limitation of movement for the world, as it’s caused me to develop an interesting set of physical skills that nondisabled people lack along with character traits that are integral to my personality. But that’s for a different post.