i am kurdish

( fyi my parents are muslims, so we were raised with their idiology, but I distanced myself from religions a couple of years ago. We live in Germany since 19 years)

A few weeks ago I went home after meeting a friend. It was in the evening, but allready quite dark outside. On my way home I passed a group of the “new” refugees (we allready hat “old” refugees, but they were never into trouble) and one man greeted me. I didn’t know them and I was sure my father, who is one of the most influential man in the muli- kulti scene here in my hometown, doesn’t know them as well. So I ignored them and continued walking home. Then I heard the voice of this man behind me, asking me if I was Kurdish, Arabian oder Turkish. I turned around and realised that he and one of his friends followed me with a disgusting, lascivious smile on their faces. I started panicking and walked faster, but that didn’t stop them from following me. The were shouting:“ Girl, won’t you stop walking? Hey, look I’m right here. Tell me what you are. Kurdish, Persian?” He was talking in syrian kurdish, I am iraqish kurdish so I could understand him. Can you imagine how scared I was? They ignored the fact, that I didn’t want to talk to them, they just continued following me. Suddenly he grabbed my shoulder and turned me around, when I picked out my phone and typed “110”. “I’ll call the police”, I said in German. Then he let go of my shoulders, but he still had that perverted smile on his face. But do you think they stoped following me ? They didn’t and that’s the part I felt like vomiting because of fear. To my luck ( honestly, I was so lucky) I saw the brother of my best friend, who also worked as a watchman in a refugee camp in another city. I shouted his name and the men suddenly went silent. The brother came to me to ask why I was shouting his name so loud. I told him about the men behind me. He started shouting at them in Kurdish, asking them what kind if men they are. If they aren’t ashamed to follow a girl around.
He and his friend then walked me home.

For me it was really scarry. Especially when he touched my shoulder. I never felt that kind of disgust, I really hoped I would vomit infront of their shoes, so they would see me as something dirty and walk away.
But I guess my story isn’t as frightening as that what happened to more than hundred women in cologne and other German cities. I can’t imagine their fear, when a group of scary men circled around them.
You can see how hypocrical most of the people are. I am from Kurdistan/ Iraq. I am often used for translation work here in Germany. If you talk to MOST of the men there you will notice their disrespectful way of thinking towards woman in general, but especially western women or oriental women who became more western. They call them “the follower of Satan”, “hoes who will burn in hell” and “deserve to be fucked, then stabbed”. They think our women WANT to be raped, because their Jeans and their Tops are tight, their skirts and pants are short and they drink alcohol so it’s easier for them to f*ck them. When I’m trying to teach them better, they often spit infront of my feet and say, that I am a slut like the “Satan Girls”.

And then there are these wannabe- occasional- tumblr- feminism- activists, who freak out when you tell them these things, because it’s not CULTURALLY APPROPIATE?

So please Girls, stay safe! I’m hoping for you to never experience these things

The basic lesson of solidarity is that you don’t have to be X in order to sympathize with X’s experience, recognize X’s pain and stand in solidarity. The basic premise of allyship is understanding difference. This is why I even have a problem with Afghans in the diaspora saying “I am Farkhunda” because they aren’t, they don’t face the injustices she faced, they don’t live that experience despite their Afghan-ness – womanhood and Afghan-hood are experienced differently in different contexts and part of our struggle for liberation is acknowledging that. You don’t need to be Farkhunda to know what was done to her was an atrocity. Nor do you need to claim to share her experience to know it intimately and speak about it. Similarly, we do not need to claim I am Trayvon I am Palestinian I am Kurdish etc as a means to express our solidarity either. We are not, we are different people with different realities and experiences and that is ok, we can still be in solidarity because that’s what it means. It is important to acknowledge that we do not face the same injustices those people faced, that is an important point to make while still standing in full support in their fight for liberation. We do not need to be the same in order to be united, only cognizant of our differences and protective of our commonalities.