i am kelly

ok but do yourself a favor and don’t think about badass, legend among the new york newsies, jack kelly sauntering down the manhattan streets one day, stumbling across this skinny, pitiful kid with his right leg twisted crookedly beyond repair and just instantly thinking without batting an eyelash, “yes, this one. this one’s mine.”

newsies characters as john mulaney quotes
  • Jack: i guess someone said like something something police. and in a brilliant moment of word association i yelled “fuck da police!” and everyone else joined in. a hundred drunk white children yelling fuck da police
  • Crutchie: hey you could pour soup in my lap and i'll probably apologize to you
  • Davey: i put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants and i felt safe
  • Katherine: you know how you lie to your parents?
  • Pulitzer: he ordered one black coffee for himself and kept driving
  • Finch: everyone get out of my way! I just want to sit here and feed my birds
  • Albert: it is 100% easier not to do things than to do them
  • Buttons: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
  • Spot: i'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day i'll die
  • Elmer: i don't want to be doing what i'm doing either
  • Romeo: i am very small, and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress that i am under
  • Henry: 🎵and life is a fucking nightmare🎵
  • Specs: woah, that tall child looks terrible!
  • Race: hi, i'm very gay and would like a few dollars
  • Hannah: hello? hush!
Here are my headcanons about what the Newsies' favorite musicals would because I'm trash

Jack: West Side Story. He’s a romantic sap, to be honest, plus he loves the setting and the turf wars and stuff. He sees himself in Tony. He also really likes Rent.

Crutchie: He loves all those classic, black-and-white musical movies, like Singin’ In The Rain and White Christmas. Annie Get Your Gun and The Sound Of Music are favorites too. He likes anything that’s Golden Age with upbeat music and extravagant numbers.

Davey: He’s not a huge musical person (“It’s just not realistic for someone to randomly burst into song.” “Have you ever spent five minutes with Romeo? It’s very realistic.”), but Romeo (the resident theatre kid of the group) introduced him to Dear Evan Hansen, and Davey was shocked and touched to see anxiety portrayed so realistically, and instantly fell in love.

Katherine: Heathers. She can often be found belting out “Dead Girl Walking” in the shower, though no one needs to know that, in her opinion.

Race: In The Heights. I really don’t know why, I just feel like he’d really like it.

Spot: Like Davey, Spot’s not a huge musical person, but for some reason, he knows every word of Phantom Of The Opera??? But, if anyone asks why he knows this, they’ll get sucker punched, so it’s best to leave it unquestioned.

Romeo: Anything and everything. Asking him to choose a favorite is like asking him to choose a favorite child.

Specs: Sweeney Todd. No one expects him to like something that gory, yet, he adores it.

When you think about the fact that Jack Kelly is a 17 year old kid who feels personally responsible for his best friend getting the shit beat out of him and thrown into a facility where he’s abused and neglected on top of getting a whole bunch of other kids hurt who he was supposed to protect, it’s really not a surprise that Jack completely shuts off and wants to run away and hide and never show his face to anyone again and why he initially agrees to Pulitzer’s deal.

3

Universe of constant spinning.
Every end and new beginning.
I begin to feel that something’s happening to me… 
And by closing my eyes I’ll be finding Neverland.

Brewsies (the coffeeshop AU that's also a bookshop AND college AU??)

The coffee shop:
-Jack is the manager of the coffee shop, Crutchie is the assistant manager.
- Crutchie and Jack still work the cashier and machines, though.
-Jack is actually a struggling to pay for art school, he rooms with Davey who’s a Law Major. Davey got a full ride, but he’s helping out his while his father is on medical leave from his job.
-Crutchie dropped out of college because of financial problems, but he was majoring (and acing) in tailoring and theatrical costumes. (He was supposed to be the manager, but instead let Jack take it because he knew the college kid needed it more.)
-Katherine is a journalist major, and frequents the coffee shop just about hourly. She orders some pretty toxic drinks that smell like motor oil. No on has actually tried to drink them yet. (“Why do you need our darkest roast with three shots of espresso, Kath???”)
- Crutchie has an affinity for making the dark roasts, Jack works wonders on the frappacinos Davey is great with teas and seasonal drinks.
-Race, Specs, and Romeo all stay in the back to work on the pastries- especially when the Brooklyn kids come over. ( And the fact that Romeo can’t stop ogling everyone that walks into the shop.)
-Whenever Davey has a shift, his brother Les just chills in the back room.
-Crutchie is no longer allowed to play the music because “ Nobody knows who BTS or Black Pink is, Crutchie!! Play something like Selena Gomez, pLEASE”

The bookshop:
-Its run by the Brooklyn boys.
-All of the Brewsies are scared to go over there ever since Spot Colon (The manager) decked Jack in the face the last time he was in the store.
-Spot and Crutchie share an apartment together .
-EVERYONE assumes that they’re dating(they’re not).
-Spot’s just protective of Crutchie in an overbearing brother kinda way and Crutchie just rolls with it.
-Everyone is crushing on Crutchie (who is oblivious), except Race and Spot who are tensely crushing on each other.

No yea this is what I have for now because I keep changing the plot of it about every few days.