i am just very emotional right now

Tagged by @gracerene09 and @carpemermaidtales

Do Dis: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever. 

Hoo boy. The WIP Folder of Doom remains as out-of-control as ever (356k spread over 106 WIPs) so I’m going to just go with the things I am actively working on… which is actually not very much because blah blah Real Life Stuff things are sucky and stressful and unfortunately writing’s become something that I don’t really have the mental/emotional energy to manage right now. I’ve only written about 500 words in the last two months, and not for lack of trying. Woe, angst, sadness.

1.) Fandom Trumps Hate - It’s going to pick up immediately post-war and focus on how everyone works through that trauma and begins to recover, with strong themes of redemption and forgiveness. It’s something of a departure from the sort of fic I’ve been writing lately, which has been more on the lighter, sillier side of things, and I’m really looking forward to digging into it.

2.) I’m also trying to get a PWP done, something very short, just 2-3k, but since words are hard I haven’t made a whole lot of progress. I have an idea, I have it sketched out, I just need to figure out how to get my brain to focus long enough to get it done.

I have no idea who has and hasn’t been tagged so sorry if I get you twice!  @i-didnt-wanna-do-it @lol-zeitgeistic @niakantorka @unadulteratedstorycollector

He is a CIVILIAN!!!!! TONY STARK /IS/A/CIVILIAN/ AND HE WAS(IS) EXPOSED TO SUCH HORRIFIC THINGS IT’S FUCKING ME UPP

1)has to watch as four soldiers get shot whilst escorting him
2) is blown up
3) has to undergo open heart surgery whilst conscious
4) wakes up to discover someone has inserted something so incredibly intrusive and life-changing into his chest without his permission.
5) is tortured
6) discovers the person responsible for this is one of the only people he has ever trusted

AND THAT IS JUST IRON MAN 1!!!!! THE F I R S T FILM IN THE TRAINWRECK THAT IS HIS LIFE LIKE WAS HE PREPARED FOR ANY OF THAT?? EQUIPPED??? ENHANCED OR TRAINED???? NO!!!!

He was a CIVILIAN ,and he went though hell in the first movie alone. Then he takes it further- making going through all these traumas his goddamned job just so he can try and fix the mistakes that weren’t even his fault in the first place and I am aware there are a lot of italics but I am feeling very emotional about this!!!!!!!right!!!!!now!!!

Literally just all the sexual things Alexander Hamilton sent to John Laurens


“I love you.”

This one is pretty self explanatory. Men were much more intimate back in the 1700′s, forming bonds that seem very ~gay~ in today’s light. Homosexuality wasn’t a very understood thing back then because rigid moral codes and censured education prevented people from learning more about sexuality.

 But Alexander Hamilton knew.

 He grew up on an island where ‘Sodomites’ (gay people) were dumped and  allowed to mingle with the island population. Alex knew that there was a certain zone of interactions between men that went from being merely friendly to sexual. He clearly steps into the bounds of sexual while fully realizing it.

“In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I [- - - - - -].”

Ahhhhhhhhh my son Alex, could you be more explicit? Alex here is obviously referring to his something else (you know) with the knowledge that John Lauren’s knows the size. This sentence right here is basically just one long ;).

 “Your friend” seems to be written teasingly, as if they both know how far from friends they are.

And we can only guess how dirty Alex got in those last six  CUT OUT words.

“Dear Boy” [sent by John Laurens]

John laurens calls his wife his ‘dear girl’, and here he calls Alex his ‘dear boy’.  Moreover, Laurens did not call any other man he ever wrote to as his ‘dear boy’. Laurens seems to see Alex as on the same level, if not higher, as his own wife.

“Did I mean to show my wit? If I did, I am sure I have missed my aim. Did I only intend to [frisk]? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend.”

This phrase right here I unfortunately do not see a lot when people talk about Alex and John’s letters. This, to me, is one of the most explicit. “Wit” also mean one’s you know what (here I give a nod to the Ravenclaw moto), so Hamilton’s saying he was pretty much just messing around with John the last letter he sent. This is the only sort of “intercourse” he is able to have with John, as they are both so far apart. He is incapable of ‘sexual’ intercourse because of their distance, so he feels he must, in the 18th century way, sext.

“I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.”

As you might have already guessed, Alex is inviting John to a threesome on his wedding night. The idea that Alex feels so at ease inviting John to a threesome with his wife suggests they have already had something going for a long time now. 

“But like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued. I had almost resolved to lavish no more of them upon you and to reject you as an inconstant and an ungrateful –”

Here Alex compares himself to John’s lover, and a jealous one at that. John seems to be shying away from Alex’s bawdiness, as if realizing how strange their relationships is in retrospect. Alex is scrambling to hang on to him, even though he knows well what are and what happens to Sodomites. He would do anything for John while knowing the consequences. And John is too afraid to join him. And who the hell knows what the last word was.

“And believe me, I am lover in earnest,”

*cough cough* looks like John knows exactly what happens when Alex’s feeling frisky.

“She [Eliza] loves you a l'americaine not a la francoise.”

The French were renowned for their relaxed stance on extramarital love affairs, while Americans were more Puritan-minding and thought love affairs only should happen in church-sanctioned marriages. Thus Eliza has an a l’americaine love of John Laurens, rather than an a la francoise.

“You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiations that I have no invincible antipathy to the maidenly beauties & that I am willing to take the trouble of them upon myself.”

*cough* this sentence is a bit confusing, and could be taken a few ways. What I infer from this is that Alexander Hamilton is willing, and John knows this, to assume an air of femininity because he finds no fault with it. It was commonly noted by people who wrote of Hamilton that he was very feminine in comparison with other men of his day. Alex’s femininity seems to please John, the topic even having been discussed between the two in ‘negotiations’.

“My ravings are for your own bosom” Alex desperately misses Laurens’ intimate contact in a way that, in my opinion, could never be mistaken as simply friendship. Alex literally wants to be held by John. How fucking heartbreaking is that.

“Yrs for ever”

Ok, this one isn’t sexual, but I had to add it because it is so heartbreaking. This was Alex’s last farewell note to John. That is, if he even received it. He died shortly after Alex sent the letter; whether he read the farewell or not is all lost to history. Alex loved John so much, despite the fact that both already had a wife. He would have always loved him, even if they had grown apart…

That’s it folks: time for me to cry.

Today I am sad… in fact, I feel so sad that I want nothing more than to curl up in bed and cry. I won’t of course; there are too many things to be done… all those adult life responsibilities that never seem to stop no matter how tired I am of it all. But I would give anything to be held… to be treated like a child and be found when I am lost… to be gathered up in arms that feel big when I feel so very small and so very alone. I would give anything for a moment like that right now… just a little moment in a very long day.
I guess I’m just tired… and sad… and I wish you were here.
3

this scene has no chill whatsoever AND WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY ACTED THAT IT WILL CONTINUE TO DESTROY ME ON A REGULAR BASIS but anyway.

raven doesn’t even understand what the first “I’m sorry” is for. she looks at him, kind of expects something, because it doesn’t click for her yet, but then there is him - murphy - who feels he needs to repeat what he just said, because it’s something that pulls so strongly at his heartstrings that his mind flares and he cannot do anything else but go and say it again. only this time he says it in the way she will understand “i’m sorry for doing this to you, raven”, bringing all their history to the foreground with a single line. and note that by mentioning the past he doesn’t make it about the past only - murphy literally talks about the now “doing” as he is in the belief that he is still causing raven pain. that he is the reason that she feels it every single day. that he is the reason she wants to stay behind and chooses death in order to free herself from it all, because in zero g she doesn’t need her legs, right…? (as she said in 2x02).

raven is actively vulnerable with him, opening up like she has never before and is even kind in the way she does it, because she does it with a certain care that envelops murphy fully - she doesn’t want answers, but wants to share her feelings. she doesn’t want to lose her mind, but wants things beyond what the bunker can ever give her - but from where murphy is standing he feels like the root cause for this somewhat unsolvable problem, feels responsible for the path she chooses now, because he took (accidentally, and from his point of view) more from her than he initially believed (there is a reason why spacewalks are brought up so much this season and i will get into it in a separate post).

so, there is heavy sense of guilt involved in this moment with which he regards himself. and the interplay is fascinating because while it gets very hard for him to deal with everything surrounding her pain - to the point that he has to look away when she talks about her leg, because he didn’t expect her to say that (she is not mad but can deal with it) - he is also not putting any walls up, but lets the weight of her words sit on his shoulders, which then also absolve him of his guilt. he says “I’m sorry” twice, because he is opening up as much as she is and he really means it, but then again raven is there to look him in the eyes and tell him “this is not your fault”, because that’s how it is. there is a difference between what happened to her leg, and what happens to her mind and how involved murphy is in both events (or not for that matter if you know what i and raven mean).

the magic of it all is that he starts to connect with raven and she frees him from his pain and therefore her own, because “this is not your fault, murphy” means, “let’s make peace” and not “I hate you!”. this is not a simple “I’m sorry” from him. this is not a simple statement she makes. it’s about how they feel.

so what happens here is that she literally crushes his image of how he sees raven the same way he crushed his image of how raven used to look at him (4x06). the sheer narrative intensity with which this scene approaches their relationship is truly a highlight, because its the uncontrollable way memories heighten the emotions and make room for new character development that both go through at the same time. through their self-destructiveness they have snapped and found the middle ground within their own dynamic, and there is so much maturity in both of their concessions that they finally understand one another like they have never before.

in that sense, it’s important to note that raven and murphy are quite literally mirror images of one another. he is the cockroach who has come a long way, from the person who sought out revenge and now really cares and looks out for the people he loves. and she is the raven who was once feeling nothing but the pain in her leg, who couldn’t forgive and now has come to the point where she can actually deal with it and make that step towards him. they are so connected to their past, but also so distinct from how they used to be… the best part of it all is that they meet halfway to hug and say goodbye, because yes they have had a very rough beginning, but who said that they couldn’t have a nice ending (or a new start? who knows… all i know is that i am crying again).

i’m just saying that they are both killing me at the moment.

theanisplanet  asked:

Any thoughts on a wedding AU after James and Thomas leave the prison? Not bound by law of course, but maybe regardless of that a small ceremony with them dressed nicely, exchanging vows and rings? :3 Happy sons.

oh god. oh god the NOISE I MADE the best descriptor I can come up with is “strangled” but like. in a good way because oh GOD

this is the Number One Way To Melt Me because like. listen. they are married. like if you’re wrenched apart and separated for ten years and spend the whole time grieving and raging against the monsters who ripped out half your heart but then reunite in a tender, clutching embrace and kiss as the music swells that. that’s your husband idk what else to tell ya that’s your husband

and like. just imagine. they change their names on the off-chance that they’re somehow recognized right, so they go by James Hamilton and Thomas McGraw, and it’s Suspiciously Improper to go around calling each other by their first names, so in the service of posing as Good Friends, around others they’ll refer to each other by their last names but HA, THOSE LAST NAMES ARE JUST A REMINDER OF HOW SUPER MARRIED THEY ARE JOKE’S ON YOU, HETERONORMATIVITY-MANDATED EMOTIONAL RESTRAINT

but i’d never even CONSIDERED the possibility of like, a ceremony which. hghhkdfjsdf. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION AS A PERSON NOW. i’m picturing something very spontaneous, like they’re sitting at home together in the quiet, maybe James comments on just how long they’ve loved one another, and Thomas smiles and remarks that perhaps in another life, they’d be married. then James is just like in another life, fuck that, who’s stopping them from getting married right now? so he pulls off one of his rings and, though his knees creak, kneels at Thomas’s feet and asks him, would you, Thomas Hamilton, love of my life, do me the honor of – Thomas kisses him before he can finish. He whispers till death us do part, my love, in the close space between them, and James takes his hand, slides the ring onto his finger. Till death us do part.

Now that BAP’s Heyo Tv is actually over, I realize how much I’m gonna miss this show. It was so fun, and the boys always seemed so comfortable and happy while filming it! And it really helped me to get through the school week, having a new episode to look forward to every Wednesday (or Monday, for this last one).

It was just such a great show and I miss it already

its midnight and im so tired and i almost cried just thinking about this little headcanon… i headcanon that omnics have a tendency to say their emotional states out loud, be very open and honest about their feelings to the point of verbalizing them, because they don’t have human body language and facial expressions to imply them. plus they’re just kind of… shameless about emotion. when he first starts learning from zenyatta, genji finds that he’s never really been exposed to that kind of genuine emotion before. he nearly cries when he and zenyatta are meditating, and after a long while zenyatta hums thoughtfully and says “I am very pleased right now. I feel at peace when we are together… I am glad you are here.”

All Tangled Up

Original request from my darling rose @formyfandoms:  Good Evening, Miss Erin! I was here, wondering if I could get a request? I’m thinking maybe a Steve thing, where your super close to Tony, Bruce and Vision, until one night, you’re having a super tough time, and the three are busy with one thing or another, and Stevie, who let’s say has been ‘crushing’ invites himself into your room to watch Netflix, and have cuddles, and then falls asleep with you, and wakes up cuddling you, and lil kisses? If you can do this, thank thank you so much! Love you!

A/N: Okay, it might not be 100000% true to the prompt, but it’s damn near close and I’m pretty proud of it. I really hope you like it!!!!

Pairing: StevexReader

Word Count: 1615

Warnings: None


“Bruce, where are you guys?”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), but Tony and I were asked to bring Vision to the New York sanctum. You know that Strange has been trying to study all of the infinity stones he has access to.”

“Bruce…”

“We don’t know what his magic can do, and we don’t want to piss him off. You know what happened last time we underestimated someone with manipulative powers.”’

“Yeah, I know.”

“I know it’s tough, but I promise we’ll be home as soon as we possibly can.”

I nod, regardless of whether or not he can see. “Okay. Alright, I can work with that.”

“What?” Bruce’s voice sounds distant, like he’s holding the phone away from his face. “It’s (Y/N). What? Tony, you have to look at me when you’re talking to me. Tony-Tony, please, I’m trying to talk to- what?” I hear him sigh in exasperation. “He wants to know if he can talk to you.”

“Of course he can.”

The other end is silent as Bruce hands off the phone to Tony. “Hey, kid, how’s it going?”

I roll my eyes. “I’m not a kid, Tony.”

“Whatever,” He laughs. “What’s up? You doing okay?”

“I’m having a rough day. I miss you guys.”

“We should be home soon, don’t worry. We could be done faster if Mr. Mysterious would let go of Vision’s head and let him show the good doctor what he can do!”  From the volume of his voice I can only assume he’s leaning away from the phone and yelling at the sorcerer, trying to get him to do what he wants.

“It’s okay, Tony. I can figure out how to deal until you get back.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just don’t get yourself killed while you’re there.” My brow furrows. “Sounds like you’re already picking a fight.”

“Don’t worry, (Y/N). The guy has some pretty fantastic facial hair. We’ll bond. Soon we’ll be awesome facial hair bros. It’s going to happen. Just you wait and see.”

I laugh. “Don’t forget to trademark that one.”

“Don’t worry, I’m already contacting a paralegal to make sure it happens. I-what?” Tony’s voice fades away as he pulls the phone away from his mouth. “Sorry, looks like I have to let you go.”

“Okay,”

“We’ll see you as soon as we get back.”

“Alright, see you soon.”

The line goes dead and I flop down on my bed and stare at the ceiling.

“Hey, (Y/N), you alright?”

I turn my head towards the source of the voice and find Steve in the doorway of my room. I shrug and turn back to the ceiling. “I’m gonna be honest with you, Steve. I’m not really having the best day.”

“Oh?”

“Yup. I’m having a less than great day and my support system is probably somewhere in Manhattan, yucking it up with the sorcerer supreme.”

“What?”

“Tony, Bruce and Viz are at the New York sanctum so Doctor Strange can study the infinity stone stuck in Vision’s head and I miss them. A Lot.”

“Oh,” Steve’s tone indicates that he may have finally understood. “Is there anything I could do to help?”

I shrug again. “I don’t know. Unless you want to lay in bed with me all day and binge watch Glee, then the answer is probably gonna be ‘no’.”

He shrugs and saunters over to my bed, plopping down beside me and propping his socked feet up on the mattress. “What season are you on right now?” He asks, scooting up towards the headboard.

“Five,” I answer, heaving myself up into a sitting position and grabbing my laptop from beside my bed. He groans and lets his head fall back against the headboard with a quiet thud. I look at him with my eyebrows raised questioningly. “What?”

“Are you just starting the season?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m gonna cry.”

“Why?” I open up my laptop and select the first episode of the season. “Is Captain America a big fat softie?”

“I’ll have you know I am very in touch with my emotions.”

“Yeah, sure,” I snort and roll my eyes.

“Shh, watch the show.”

“What the fuck!?” I yell, slamming the laptop shut and rubbing tears away with the butt of my hand. “What the hell!”

“I told you!” Steve says, wiping away his own tears.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to listen to you.” I grouse. “Fucking Glee, messing with my emotions. Shit.”

“Do you need a hug?”

“Fuck you,” The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. We sit silently for a moment before I turn to Steve and wrap my arms around his middle. “Yes.”

Steve laughs shakily and wraps his arms around my shoulders, shuffling us down the bed and pulling a blanket up and over us before opening my laptop again and starting the next episode. “It’ll get better.”

“Lies,” I growl into his chest. “Lies and slander.”

“Well, you’re just going to have to keep watching, now aren’t you?”

“Fine,” I grumble. “But I’m kicking your ass if it ends badly.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” He murmurs. I feel him smile against my hair as the next episode starts.

Somewhere around the middle of the Christmas special, I feel my eyelids growing heavy and I can’t stay awake any longer.

I drift in and out of consciousness, occasionally hearing the dialogue from the show in the background.

“Hey, doll, you still with me?” Steve asks quietly.

I shake my head no and press my face more firmly into his side, chasing after the warmth his body radiates.

I feel a laugh rumble through his chest and his body shifts a little before he pulls the covers up to my shoulders. He rolls onto his side and rests his arm over my waist, his warmth seeping through the blankets.

I hum contentedly and cuddle into him before drifting off completely.

If (Y/N) could see the stupid smile plastered on Steve’s face, she would probably laugh. He fondly remembers her teasing over him crying over Glee and shakes his head.

She looks so incredibly peaceful and the way she’s pressed against his body makes his heart pound so hard that he’s certain (Y/N) can hear it.

He runs the pad of his thumb over her cheekbone before gently combing through her hair. She makes a quiet needy sound at the back of her throat and takes a fistful of his shirt to pull herself closer to him.

Steve swears his heart stops and he can’t help wrapping his arms around her. He doubts she would let him do this if she were anywhere close to lucid, but he’s glad that he gets to hold her while he can.

(Y/N) buries her face in his chest and Steve’s eyes shutter closed.

He falls asleep to the sound of (Y/N)’s gentle, even breathing.

“Steve?” His name is out of my mouth before I’m even fully awake.

“Hmm?” He hums sleepily, one of his hands gently combing through my hair.

“Did I fall asleep on you?”

I feel more than hear the chuckle that jolts through his chest. “Yeah, kind of.”

“Sorry,” I mumble, hiding my face against his chest. “Wait, are we cuddling?”

I feel Steve tense up and slowly move his arms away from my body. “Sorry…”

“I’m not saying that was an invitation to stop.” I say hastily, pulling his arms back around me. “Why would you be sorry?”

“Well, I mean… you were asleep and I just…” He looks away from me, a dark blush creeping across his cheeks. I carefully reach up and push his hair away from his forehead.

“Steve, just tell me.”

“You have to promise not to laugh.”

“You know I can’t promise that.” I lift my eyebrows at him, prompting him to continue.

He sighs loudly and rolls his eyes before taking another deep breath and answering my question.

“I’ve had a crush on you for so long and you just looked so content, I couldn’t help it.” He finally meets my eyes and I can’t help the smile that finds its way onto my face. “Why are you smiling?”

“Because your an adorable, bashful, dumb dork.” I shake my head. “I’ve probably had a crush on you since I joined the team.”

“You what?!”

“I can’t believe you didn’t notice!”

“How could I have?!”

“How could you not, Cap?” Tony’s voice sounds from the doorway. “What with her constant mooning over you always saying things like, “Oh, Steve is so handsome! He’s so strong and capable!” He says in a mocking falsetto, his hands clasped together and fluttering his eyelashes. “I wish he’d let me show him what I’m capable of.”

“Okay, that’s quite enough from you!” I declare, grabbing one of my throw pillows and chucking it at Tony’s head.

“Hey!” Tony protests, batting the pillow out of the air.

“Get outta here!” I say, holding up another pillow.

“Okay, okay! I’ll leave you two to your gross shenanigans.” Tony says, running away from the second throw pillow as it sails through the air towards him.

I settle back into Steve and he chuckles softly.

“So you like me, huh?” Steve murmurs.

“Oh shut up,” I mutter, pulling his face down to mine and pressing my lips against his. He smiles against my mouth and wraps his arms around my middle, pulling me against his body before deepening the kiss.

He breaks away and peppers kisses across my cheeks and around my lips before pressing a chaste kiss against my lips. “As long as you keep kissing me like that, I’ll do anything you say, doll.”


Thank you guys so much for reading! If you liked the piece please reply to the post or shoot me an ask! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!!!

Keep reading

“A good horror story will frighten us, yes. It will keep us awake at night, it will make our flesh crawl, it will creep into our dreams and give new meaning to the darkness. […] Good horror stories make us look at our reflections in dark distorting mirrors, where we glimpse things that disturb us, things that we did not really want to look at. Horror looks into the shadows of the human soul, at the fears and rages that live within us all.” –GRRM

I reached the horror section of Dreamsongs a couple days ago and let me tell you, I am NOT looking forward to whatever dark trip GRRM is taking us on in TWOW. Just kidding, I need it more than ever!! GRRM knows how to tap into something primal and beam it directly into my nightmares. (I feel very uneasy about crabs right now.) 

Horrifying imagery aside, GRRM’s real strength is emotional horror. Beautiful things like love, and courage, and friendship, and hope die faster than Ned Stark when GRRM writes horror. Jealousy and hatred and rage win when GRRM writes horror. (Anyone else thinking “valonqar” right now because I am…. I keep saying it, the Lannisters are horrifying, and I love them.)

For example, I read GRRM’s “Meathouse Man” and the stories are very different, but I felt a resonance with Tyrion’s storyline:  

“Of all the bright cruel lies they tell you, the cruelest is the one called love.”

Keep reading

So I am just listening to Tae’s playlist and I saw this song was on there… I am in tears right now…

I’ve been listening to this song a lot and this band because I’ve been going through a lot… reasons why I haven’t been on tumblr very much because I’ve had to put things aside and put more important things first

For me I am very strong in my faith and just knowing that V listens to this brings me so much joy…

i honestly can’t figure out why more people on tumblr don’t adore primeval. seriously, this fantastic show has;

  • time travel
  • DINOSAURS
  • strong female characters who are unique from one another, and are great at what they do
  • good looking men, dorky and stoic, who kick ass and have emotions and vULNERABLE MOMENTS THAT WILL MAKE YOU CRY AND LOVE THEM MORE
  • villains, who are ambitious and selfish and do whatever they need to do to get what they want
  • friendship and love and mateship that makes your heart ache
  • fabulous hair
  • BADASS WALKS DOWN LONG CORRIDORS
  • cheesy moments 

and of course

  • the greatest fandom- full of lovely and talented people, willing to ship supplies over to you for when you are having primeval-related existential crises

MY ADVICE: GET ON THIS SHOW!

If I’d imagined a year ago
That i’d be sat where i am now
None of it would have mattered

Everything’s okay
That sounds so simple
But god
It’s taken so long

As I have hundreds of times
I look up at the sky
And the stars start to blink back
Like the universe finally makes sense

All those times I thought to myself
What if it never gets better
But right now, right this very second
I know it does

I just wish I could pause this moment
And relive it forever
Just remembering this happiness
Living this happiness a little bit more each time

Maybe it’s not where I’d imagined I would be
Maybe it’s not where I want to end up
But maybe
Just for now
Here is exactly where i’m supposed to be

So when they tell you to just hold on
To not give up, believe them

Because if right now
if right this very second can feel so right

Just imagine where you could be in a year’s time

—  Drunk - Petrichor

anonymous asked:

You should just write a whole list of why Inej and Kaz are the cutest, and greatest couple. I live for them.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!!

- okay i wanna start off with something that’s totally obvious but is never rly discussed/mentioned? but kanej is a beautiful, healthy, AMAZING interracial pairing that’s written in a way that doesn’t constantly showcase inej’s ethnicity just for the sake of pointing it out but that doesn’t mean it’s any less valid or important or special and leigh doesn’t give a fxck about other people’s whitewashed white mysteries so it’s a bit like ‘this is inej, she’s a woc, don’t EVER whitewash her but also don’t forget who she is and who she’s in love with bc that’s important and rare and must be treasured and appreciated’
- they bring out the best in each other
- and by best i don’t mean they compliment each other well (which they do but that’s beside the point), i mean they literally heal each other’s wounds, mend each other’s weary hearts and are there for each other 24/7 no questions asked
- kaz “my father is profit” brekker, the boy who literally breaks people’s kneecaps with his crow cane if anyone so much as looks at him wrong, went OUT OF HIS WAY to fulfill inej’s dream (which is kind of ironic bc inej IS the girl of his dreams so… fulfilling the girl of his dreams’ dream?)
- like you know those het couples that are like… “you’re my happiness” blah blah blah “i know you have other interests and imma let you finish but i bring me so like be grateful” which is smth i absolutely DESPISE in any shape way or form but kaz was just like?? hey inej i heard you like ships so here’s a ship, captain ghafa and oh by the way your parents are on it
- he threw away his one shot at happiness just bc he knew what inej wanted and that was his top priority
- he’d go to hell and back for her (he almost did)
- kaz “ketterdam is full of monsters i just happen to have the longest teeth” brekker’s biggest weakness is inej’s SMILE?????? name a more iconic & pure duo than kaz and his teenage crush?? i’ll wait
- inej, fully aware of kaz’s ptsd, NEVER rushed him for anything and their love was literally never sexualizied therefore breaking the status quo that a pairing is only interesting when the people involced they have physical contact and/or are intimate. intimacy runs so much deeper than (having) sex
-kaz, fully aware of inej’s past and her own anxiety, never rushed her for anything and never demanded anything from her and was the perfect gentlemen despite his bad boy talk that portrayed him as this cold emotionless antagonist like you’re not fooling anyone son we see right through you and honestly bless your wicked barrel boss heart ily
- kaz’s only attempt at “winning” inej was when he said “you inej, you” and even that was super pure  (esp given the fact that it was probably the most honest thing he’s ever said & admitted - not just to inej but to himself) bc yes OFC he wanted to overcome his ptsd and wanted to be able to touch inej in some - any - kind of way but he also meant her presence? actually scratch that, that’s all he meant
- inej’s always been his beacon, his idol, his goddess, his salvation, his anchor, his emotional tether if you will and it was inej who brought him back when he started to slip back into his dark memories, inej was the one who pulled him out of the murky waters licking at his feet
- kaz would literally kill & die for inej a.k.a kaz is all of us
- inej, a kind, beautiful soul who yields not just one but seven knives, all named after a saint, would do anything to help kaz
- inej wanted kaz to become a better person, a better version of himself but it was never for her? like, she never had any personal agenda or subplot that connected her with kaz’s path to greatness, she wanted him to become better for his own good and that just makes me start crying on the spot tbh catch me bawling my eyes out bc of these two (usually at 4am when no one can hear the ugly dying pterodactyl noises coming out of my mouth)
- kaz softens around inej while inej hardens around kaz and that, too, makes me very very emotional b y e
- the peak of their relationship development was to finally be able to hold hands
- they might not be together right now but that’s fine by kaz bc he just wants inej to be happy and sail and help/free slaves and that’s fine by inej too bc she knows kaz has a business™ to run and she knows the dregs need him more than she does
- and that’s okay bc it doesn’t mean they love or need each other any less. it just means later.

13 Reasons Why

I have just finished watching the last thirteenth episode, and decided to wright my review of this tv series. I read a book 2 years ago and I really liked it, at least as much as you like reading about our f*****d up society that make people want to end their lives. So, when I heared that there will be a tv series based on the book and producer of it is Selena Gomez, it was interesting for me to watch. So there came the premier and I watched maybe 3 episodes and today I watched the last one. I don’t know why, but I didn’t have very high hopes for this one, but this show was a hundred times better that I could imagine. “13 Reasons Why” is very emotional, sombre and really heartbraking. When I watched every episode, and espesially the last one, I wanted ro cry or I cried, actually right now I am sitting with tears on my eyes after watching 13 episode. 

It is actually hard to watch how ugly our society is. All those people on the tapes, not all but the majority of them didn’t feel themselves guilty, they just wanted save their own asses and live happily ever after, forgetting about the fact that they were the main reason why Hannah will never have a future. And I think that it’s very interesting that when Clay remembers Hannah, everything is so bright and sunny and when there shown present everything is grey and colourless, it’s like Hannah was that person to Clay that made him happy and when she’s gone everything around him is reflection of his devistation. She also had plans for future, she had her dreams that’ll never come true. Hannah Baker was a pretty positive and friendly person, we can see it in the beggining. But this school and those people broke her and unfortunatelly this is happenning not only in the book or tv series it is happenning in real life.School was a hell for me, teachers didn’t gave a f**k about us, no, they actually did but only about popular kids, and kids were really cruel, I was bullied too and I know that It might also happened to you too. We can all relate to one of the characters, whether you are Hannah, Clay, Jessica, Alex or someone else.

 I truly believe that every person have to see this tv series and think about how we treat other people and to what consequcses it may lead. We have to be less egoistic and care more about others. Also, I think that parents should watch it too, because it very presiecly pictures teenager’s life nowadays and parents have to know what is going on with their children. Moreover not only parents have to talk with their children, but we also have to be more open with them. And if you are a person that think that your story is similiar to Hannah’s in some way, please listen to me( I know that I am a complete stranger, so why would you listen to me, but), if you feel that your life is pointless just stop for a second and think, imagine your life after all this shit will be over, and you’ll have a long life ahead of you, you can move to another city or country, get a job of your dream and you’ll have a people around that will care about you. So, if you have a problem talk about it, tell it to your parents, or friend or just write me, I promise I will listen to you and I know that for some reasone it’s much easier to talk to the stranger than to people that are close to you.

i’m also probably being a weenie and over thinking things but as much as i’m excited to see optimus be fucking brutal and carnal, i just keep thinking back to peter and i hope that optimus goes good in the end, and can be the hero again? like, optimus is very much an embodiment of his brother larry (for peter), and it probably hurts him to have to see optimus become so sinister and ‘blood-thirsty’. and i know optimus is a fictional character, but the premise for him, the ‘voice’ — optimus’ voice — it’s larry’s???

and idk guys, i just, i want peter to be okay, and for optimus to be okay and okay im done ranting now

anonymous asked:

Reader x anyone, reader just joins the main branch of Overwatch and they are extremely nervous

A/N: There never has been or ever will be enough Tracer x Reader stuff. Sorry about doing only one character for this, it’s late and I need to get some sleep.

Tracer:

“Do you understand what we’ve just told you?” The gruff voice of Strike-Commander Morrison pierced your thoughts, dragging you back to reality.

“Sorry, it just doesn’t seem real.” You stammered, avoiding eye-contact with Morrison. Scanning the room for a refuge, your gaze briefly fell on Commander Reyes, his stern visage doing little to reassure you. Captain Amari offered a small amount of respite, a gentle smile painted across her weathered lips, you’d take what you could get at this point.

“Well, believe it. A mission will come through shortly, get acquainted with your new squad mates. You’re dismissed, agent.” Morrison nodded towards the door, sitting back in his chair. You gave a quick salute to the trio, nodding as you hurried out of the room.

“So, how’d it go?” A warm voice spoke into your ear as you were pulled into a hug from behind. You relished the contact for a moment, before gently pulling her hands from your waist, turning to face her. Lena smiled brightly at you, her chipper demeanor helping calm the storm of emotions you felt. “Hello?” She waved her hand in front of your face, giggling as you shook yourself to your senses.

“I’ve been selected for…” You paused, clearing your throat, sorting through the mixture of pride and concern you felt from the news before speaking up again. “Active agent status, I’m one of you now.” The breath was pushed from your lungs as Lena wrapped her arms around you, nearly crushing you in her grasp. You gently returned the gesture, pulling her closer as you pressed you face into her neck.

“That’s great, luv!” Lena released the embrace, seeming even happier than before, though her expression shifted quickly. “You’re happy about that, right?” Concern began to appear on her face, she was very much in tune with your emotions, hiding anything from her was almost impossible. You sighed, searching for the right words to express your feelings.

“I am, it’s just that…” Your voice trailed off, buying more time for you to think. “What if I’m not ready? It’s a huge responsibility. We’re going to be on missions with little back up, missions that are of the up-most importance to Overwatch. What if I mess something up, or I get someone hurt, or even-” Lena pressed her lips against yours, cutting off your list of concerns. The faint taste of cinnamon coated her lips, the sensation filling your thoughts as she pressed herself further into you. The kiss lingered for several moments before Lena gently pulled away, smiling warmly as you.

“You’re going to be fine, luv, I promise.” Her voice was stern, yet sweet, somehow putting you at ease. “No one’s going to get hurt, I’ll be right there beside you. We’re a team out there, and we’ve got each others’ backs. If you’re really worried we can get some training in, but you’re going to do great, I know you will.” Your heart fluttered at her words, prompting a large smile to cross your lips.

“Thanks.” Lena giggled as she clasped your hand in her own, her hazel eyes staring deep into yours.

“Anytime. Now, let’s go celebrate!” You laughed as she pulled you down the hall. Being an active agent wouldn’t be easy, but as long as Lena was by your side, you’d be able to handle anything.

I just want to take a moment to talk about what Pirates of The Caribbean movies mean to me.

These movies are my whole life and I am very emotionally attached to them.I remember being 7 years old anxiously waiting to see The Curse of The Black Pearl on the tv for the first time cause I was too young to go and see it at the cinema.

These movies literally have followed all stages of my life

First 3 came out when I was at the primary school and I was literally crazy about them.I remember having the first one on videotape and I also remember that when I finally got At world’s End I was watching it at least 2 times a day.

Then the 4th one came out when I was a teenager and now the 5th one comes out when I am a university student.

I just feel so many things about this franchise cause I literally grew up with it.There are no other franchises that I feel that way about.I mean,I adore Harry Potter,Lord of The Rings and Star Wars but I appreciated them after I was 15 or so.But POTC will always have my heart.

Sorry for the emotional rant I just felt the need to share it with you!

anonymous asked:

i don't know how people can still be having this transparent discussion about whether or not harry is feminine when he literally liked a picture on instagram that said support feminine boys. are we going to pretend he doesn't communicate via social media? that nick using female pronouns for him is a joke? that harry lambert calling him sue is a joke? that harry wearing women's clothes and aligning with female protagonists and superheroes doesn't align with that fucking instagram like?

••••

A few thoughts.

1. There are people who feel that Harry has been disingenuous in his embrace of feminine expression and gender fluidity, that he’s doing it as a gimmick, or to increase his sales. The reasoning is that Harry’s team has pushed his womanizer image so hard during this promo, his feminine expressions must be pandering. I have explained elsewhere why I think Harry’s team is doing this. I love Harry’s self-expression. I love his love of, and experimentation with, fashion and gender bending. Despite some missteps, Harry is moving the conversation forward on gender fluidity and cultural acceptance. Coming from someone of his popularity, this is huge.

2. Part of the discussion was in relation to Louis, and the particular roles they play in their relationship. I find the cultural assumptions in the questions so interesting. There seems to be an assumption that a woman is the weaker partner in any relationship; that women are always the ones who need help; that feeling vulnerable is a weakness; that once assigned a gender role, being the more feminine partner is by default the worse role. These assumptions reflect our own cultural biases, and I think that’s exactly Harry’s point. Being vulnerable is NOT a weakness. Being sensitive should NOT be condemned. “Find someone supportive.” The conclusion that being feminine is “lesser” than being masculine should not be our default.

3. The media has often attacked fans and Larries by calling us delusional and conspiracy-loving. In particular, the idea that Larry Stylinson has been fabricated, and amplified by fan-fiction, is often used by the media to prove that Larry is not real– by calling fans crazy. It’s so interesting to me that fans who attack other fans use the same tactics, the same words. It’s more difficult to use rational, logical discussion. It’s easier to inflame emotions and make the other party defensive. As Harry said, direct communication is key. If someone doesn’t agree with me, message me. I am educable.

4. Comparing Harry and Louis in any way seems to be an untouchable subject. Fans have very emotional responses, and I understand completely. Right now, it’s Harry’s bright moment, and he’s doing beautifully. I believe that Louis’s moment will come soon, and it will be brilliant. I’m not trying to convince anyone else– just stating my opinion. Harry and Louis are different people. It’s healthy to think of people as individuals, even if they are celebrities in a relationship– not to force them to be equal in every way, or to wish that they were.

If Harry wants to express his feminine side, let him. Let him go as far as he wants to, and support his willingness to go against social expectations. If Louis wants to express a feminine side, be as supportive for him. Or Liam or Niall or any other celebrity. Allow them the same freedom of gender fluidity as Harry. I think that’s Harry’s point, anyway.