I was having a terrible dysphoria day today. I was having trouble breathing, couldn’t get out of bed, I mean the whole nine yards of dysphoria for me. But then something pretty great happened. I was going through the photos I took for my college graduation announcements, and my old high school graduation photos popped up. It really brought me back to 2011. I remembered going shoe and dress shopping because “I had to”, and being so unhappy that I cried constantly. I remember going to eat afterwards and keeping that purple grad robe on because I was so uncomfortable in my dress. I remember pulling my hair back the second I was done with family pictures. I remember being so incredibly uncomfortable and unhappy.
I now look at these college grad pictures and I remember it being incredibly hot, but not at all uncomfortable in my clothes (I actually felt amazing in my suit). I remember all the poses coming very natural and smooth. I remember laughing a lot and not once being sad. I remember feeling fantastic and on top of the world. Even though I don’t have any of the friends that I had in high school due to my transition, I have new friends. Better friends. A new life. A new body. And I am better for it. Transitioning is a journey, and I am working on mine.