i am incredibly unhappy with this

March 22nd rant:

Honestly, I reckon that if MCR carried on because we didn’t want them to breakup, they all would be incredibly unhappy which would make us all unhappy and then we would probably not even enjoy the music that they would be producing.
Hence the phrase ‘Leave them wanting more’ which is what they did. So I am actually glad in a way that they broke up because now we can enjoy that little slice of what was good, forever, on repeat, you know?
Gerard even said that he didnt see MCR going past the Black Parade era. So be grateful y'all or get out.
And don’t forget to leave the guys alone. They’ve got a life, So why dont you stop harrasing them on social media and get one too

anonymous asked:

I tried to hide behind religion and use it as a way to convice myself that i wasn't gay. I spent over 10 years trying to convince myself that i was straight. These were the worst years of my life. I was so unhappy and at one point i came close to ending my own life. Then something happened and i accepted who i truly am and for the last 3 years i have been my true self and i have never been happier. I have an amazing girlfriend and life is really good.

I have never related to something so much. I am so incredibly proud of you. Once you realize that there is nothing to fight, that there is nothing “wrong” with you, to think differently than you were taught, it’s amazing how you find yourself. It’s amazing how happy you truly can be. I am so happy for you and hope that things continue to make you smile!

At first, it was so hard to accept him moving on. Probably because I was the farthest from being ready to do the same.
After awhile (a year and a half, if we’re being honest), I realized that he was entitled to leaving. Crazy, right? Hear me out.
Obviously I was not making him happy. Or I was, but I wasn’t making him as happy as he could be. If he wanted to stay he would have. But he didn’t. And who am I to rob someone of their shot at happiness?
This was hard to realize at first, because of course I was so incredibly unhappy while I knew he was happy with someone else. That hurt so much.
But with time, lots of time, I am happy too. By losing him I got to find myself. I learned how to be happy on my own which is so important.
He is happy out there somewhere, doing things that I don’t know about anymore. And that is okay. Because I am happy here, doing things that he doesn’t know about anymore.
—  We Both Deserve Good Things

anonymous asked:

I asked a question a while ago about moving while autistic and I think you might not have gotten it? It's fine if you didn't and don't want to answer that's cool I just wanted to try again in case. Anyway. How do you handle as an autistic person moving? I don't know how to move house and I have to do so soon and I am incredibly anxious and just wondering if you had advice?

hello! sorry for taking a little while to get to you- i do remember seeing the initial ask but i cant find it now! 

I think moving for me was a little different than it might be for others because i was unhappy growing up in the house i was in. i grew up in a house with my mum and it was very negative + pretty bleak + we never liked it + a /lot/ of bad stuff happened in that house. when i chose to go to uni it was 40% pursuing a life and 60% escaping that house! the need to be out of that house motivated me to work hard to get into uni! 

so when i first moved out of my mum’s house and into uni accommodation i was genuinely nothing but relieved! i was so so so glad and i was so comfortable in my new home (i had a tiny studio flat by myself) (i’ll have it again next year!!!!!!!! happy megs) that i didn’t really feel the impact of moving.

however (and hopefully this is where i can help you a bit) last summer my mum then moved into a new house and that was a bit tricky. i think we were all really really glad and relieved to see the end of living there but i found the process of moving really really stressful! I think i actually got burnt out for a lot of the summer which is why my health is so precarious this year. 

I struggled a lot with the late nights of moving back and forth between the two houses + my mum would always leave me at home with the painters/plumbers/electricians etc and that was a nightmare, too. Im unsure what kind of stuff you’ll have to deal with but i have some small general advice!

  1. Packing: (I actually love packing) I always view packing as a chance to be ruthless and minimalise my belongings (which always makes me feel better about literally everything). I pack the things I don’t need first e.g. clothes i’m not currently wearing, books, knick kacks + ornaments etc + as i pack i also consider whether i still need what im holding! I think about whether it has sentimental value or whether I would miss it etc and act accordingly! (you dont have to throw anything out if you dont want to i just find it really nice + moving house is a good opportunity to be ruthless). Pack each book with a specific category in mind so labelling and unpacking is easy- e.g. “megan, books, bedroom” + then only pack books into it! (when i moved house i literally had a box that got labelled “megan, halloween”). 
  2. Routine: although moving house can be a bit all over the place, i ended up becoming really dependant on still having some kind of routine in place. e.g. still waking up at the same time, still performing my morning + evening rituals, still trying to eat dinner at the same time. often these would get knocked about due to late nights + lots of take-out while painting walls etc + so i started enforcing other smaller rituals e.g. always listening to the ramones while painting or running house-related errands, always eating the same small snack in the car on trips between the two houses, always reading the same book before bed to comfort me etc. these small routines can be literally anything + can honestly be a huge comfort because you’ll hopefully feel less like your entire existence is unravelling around you (which it isnt, youre gonna be ok). 
  3. Stimming + Special Interest Time: Even though you’ll probably be busy, still make sure you’re scheduling in time for stimming and special interests as they’re detrimental to the general wellbeing of an autistic person! when i moved in the summer i would read my SI book in bed which was a huge relief at the end of the day, and would always do planner stuff first thing in the morning (also SI). I would always bring stims in the car with me to try and use the time effectively + also became /really really/ echolalic the whooole time we were moving and decorating the new house. 

im not sure what else to suggest so hopefully this is a little helpful! good luck with it all! (my favourite thing about moving house was being able to decorate a new bedroom/safe haven)(i made lots of really careful soothing plans for it and that was exciting)(im doing it again ready for moving back into a studio >:-) in am excite)

take care!!

i always get real goddamn weird and self-destructive and indescribably unhappy around this time of year - happy traumaversaries to me! but this year i have actual responsibilities, and a boyfriend, and have been incredibly happy and well-functioning for the past few months so the sudden nose dive in my productivity and mood is very, very obvious. i am trying my best to resist the urge to lie on my couch in the dark all day but also i spent the entirety of today lying on the couch in the dark. my best is admittedly not very good.

Saw ‘Twin Suns’.

Basically?  I’m incredibly disappointed and frustrated.  The general reception I’ve witnessed has been very positive, but I just don’t see it.  In my eyes it’s unsatisfying, thematically discordant, and wasted a huge amount of potential.

I’ve got two (2) writing projects in mind–both ideas predate the episode, and they’re both going to function as my variety of fix-it.  ‘For Want of a Woebegone’ (the actual fic, not the summary bits I’ve already posted) is one of them; the other doesn’t have a title yet.

Am I alone in being profoundly unhappy about this episode?

sometimes it’s even scary when i realize how incredibly devoted i am to art. this may sound a bit odd and stereotypical for some people, but i realize that my whole existence is connected to art, even made for and out of art. art honestly keeps me going, it is like blood in my veins and love for my heart. i do not need anything else as long as i am able to put unspoken words, feelings and worlds on paper, in photography, music, etc. if i don’t do anything with art later i feel like i’ll end up truly unhappy. the concept of art makes me breath sometimes, i wonder how i would be without it and where i would be 

Alternate romance idea for MacCready

Because I am altogether very unhappy with how the MacCready romance ended.

Let’s pretend for a moment that, some time after the Sole Survivor helps MacCready get the medicine for his son, Duncan, and after the touching moment they shared where MacCready gifted his little wooden soldier to the Sole Survivor, the Sole Survivor is just incredibly touched by this show of trust from someone who started out hating their guts as much as MacCready did. Let’s face it, MacCready started out being so incredibly guarded and cold to the Sole Survivor. Not just on a professional level, but also because he had such terrible luck with the Gunners and THEN setting up shop in Goodneighbor of all places. He was probably wary of almost everyone at that point. You can’t blame him for ultimately becoming so bitter and jaded against the world… but after opening up to the Sole Survivor, he felt much happier and more at peace.

Imagine the Sole Survivor just being absolutely fucked up about what MacCready told them about what happened to Lucy, though. How she was killed, and that the story behind the toy soldier that MacCready had given to them as a gift. The thought of MacCready doubting whether he and Duncan should have survived that attack or not keeping them up at night, and it just slowly eats away at them until they decide they have to do something to remedy this.

Let’s also say that the reason that Duncan never comes around in Fallout 4 is because of those damn caps that MacCready finds so important. Yeah, MacCready is a greedy little shit and all, but there are other reasons why he wanted to make as many as he could at almost any cost. What if he was saving up to hire someone to bring Duncan over to the Commonwealth once he also saved up enough to get a place to live out there, too. It was his idea to get a fresh start for the two of them, away from all the ghosts that haunt them… or rather, the ghouls.

So, what Sole Survivor does is they build them and MacCready a nice house at whatever settlement they spend the most time in together, knowing that MacCready likes that one the best. Perhaps because of the scenery, or how close it is to centers of trade (therefore, a good place to make some quick caps if any traders or hired guns need anything taken care of….) but they don’t tell MacCready about it. Maybe they take Preston out to help them build the house, since Preston was always a great guy (and a guy who owed them DEARLY for sending them out on so many missions to help so many stupid fucking settlements). They wanted it to be a surprise, of course.

One day, MacCready gets this incredible surprise when they head over to the settlement with the new house. There is a caravan that rolls into town about the same time as MacCready and the Sole Survivor do, and, sitting in one of the carts on one of the ghoul traders’ laps (a friend of Daisy’s, of course.) is a little baby Duncan. Well, he’s not so much of a baby anymore (I will admit to not having a clue what age Duncan is). He’s more of a toddler now. MacCready is just blown away to see his son again, but the surprises don’t stop there.

The traders set Duncan on the ground and point to MacCready and tell him “Look, Duncan. That’s you’re daddy…! Go see him…!! He’s been waiting to see how big you’ve gotten…!”

MacCready just holds his breath and watches with big, watery eyes as Duncan turns on unsteady feet to look at MacCready. Duncan suddenly breaks into a big smile and carefully waddles over to MacCready’s open arms. With tears in his eyes, MacCready scoops up his son and hugs him tightly. Somehow, he knows by the look on the Sole Survivor’s face that they were responsible for all of this. He wants to thank them, but he can’t. His throat is just too choked up to talk right now. He doesn’t want to cry.

Poor MacCready just can’t seem to cut a break, though. The Sole Survivor leads their new family inside the well decorated house (full of wasteland style and fully furnished to look absolutely homey), and into a bedroom… all those tears MacCready was fighting so hard to keep in just spill over when he sees that it has been filled with toys for Duncan. This is so much more than he’d ever expected to give to his son. He and Lucy weren’t particularly well off, so they couldn’t really afford many toys for Duncan, but here…. The Sole Survivor has also scavenged at least five different kinds of teddy bears, toy trucks and cars and rockets… an ENTIRE alphabet block set, and their old “You Are Special” book meant for Shaun… and the crib that the Sole Survivor and their old partner had made together… all of Shaun’s old world belongings that were still in good condition. MacCready just stands there, holding Duncan tightly as he cries, and the Sole Survivor holds him comfortingly, reassuring him that they are a family now and nothing is going to come between them.

anonymous asked:

i don't know about it being 'toxic' or anything, but the way I see it, if being their friend, or just being with them, stresses you out, makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, makes you feel like you're working a job and not being very good at it, or it all just feels like a chore... what point is there to such a friendship? all relationships are about give and take and need effort put into them, but what's the point of a relationship that in its normal state doesn't make you happy/relaxed?

same anon, just to add: also, i am INCREDIBLY suspicious of anyone that “drop[s] you a hint that you cannot be friends with them if you do a thing that they ‘do not like’”. unless these ‘things they do not like’ are 'being disrespectful, mean, or bigoted in any way’. friendship doesn’t really involve policing other people’s likes/hobbies. if a friend of mine said, idk, “hey if you like my NOTP/the color red we can’t be friends” or sth i’d drop that friend in a hearbeat, bc way to be creepy man.

Hi sweet Anon-chan! Thank you so much for responding to my previous post! It means a lot. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and probably just in need of someone’s perspective regarding this thing. I don’t think they’re bad people, but once, my friend told me that toxic people doesn’t have to be necessarily bad. I guess she’s right, and you too! Unfriending people in real life is much more harder than in my social media (which also, never happens lol), but it kinda takes a toll on me lately so-! I know what to do. Thank you <3

so here’s a rant

I’ve carried a burden with me all my life. I give the people I love everything and I’ve never known how to acknowledge when I am unhappy or consider what is best for me. I’ve been so afraid of disappointing those I care about that it is debilitating. Having to take care of everyone in my life as a child made me like that…always looking out for everyone else while nobody was looking out for my wellbeing. This has made me feel so alone in the world. Even in all of my adult relationships I’ve felt so alone, although I was not physically alone. Always beside myself because I never did what I wanted or needed for the fear of making them unhappy and losing them. Putting my wants and needs in the back of my mind which would lead anyone to being unhappy and depressed.

I’ve always held myself to the highest expectations and I am so very hard on myself. Although it has made me an incredibly strong person. I’ve had to be hard all my life, to not let things get to me. I never realized why I’ve felt this need until past month of therapy. So many things coming together. I’ve put up this barrier that I haven’t been able to take down. A façade that I am okay and that I can handle everything and anything…which I can. I believe it. Honestly though, it’s wearing me down to the point of depression, doubt, insecurity, and fear that tears me apart. So much to the point where someone that meant the world to me left me because of it. Something I’ve feared all my life because I’ve been left, over and over and over again. I opened myself up to fall in love, and I wasn’t ready because I have no idea how to take care of myself and another person at the same time. I put the other person first, always. When I need to know how to take care of myself first. 

I need to learn how recognize my own needs, and act on them. I need to learn to be more tender, to be kind to myself, to take care of myself, know myself and to nurture myself. Because by god, nobody else can do it for me. This life is mine, no one else’s and I can do anything I want to. I’m not perfect and nobody is but that isn’t a bad thing! Take care of yourselves out there babes, I've realized how important it really is. Much love<3

anonymous asked:

I'm struggling to come to terms with my identity. I've IDd as bi for 4 years. For most of that, I was with a man and was deeply unhappy. I am now incredibly happy with a woman I love. I've now realised that I'm not sexually attracted to men at all. I still think I have romantic attraction due to long standing crushes on celeb men, and crushes on men in my past. I don't intend on dating any cis men in the future. I'm not sure if gay or bi fits me more. For some reason I am scared of being gay?

sounds more like ur gay, and honestly? coming to terms with your sexuality is always scary, b.
being unsure about it bc youve had crushes on men in ur past etc doesnt mean you cant be lesbian. that “gold star lesbian” bs is wild and Not Good. but you said you dont intend on being with cis men, nothing abt trans men, so maybe you shouldn’t consider urself gay if u are still possibly interested in being with trans men? bc they are still men.

its your choice of how youd want to identify with your sexuality, beloved. and im glad to hear you’re in a happy relationship now! bless up 💕

February is national eating disorder awareness month and I decided to use it as an opportunity to congratulate myself on how far I’ve come.

The photo on the left was taken in July 2012 when I was in the midst of battling an eating disorder.  The day before I went to the beach, I starved myself because I was afraid that if I ate the day before I would become bloated.  I barely drank any water that day.  Looking back on it, that day I was hungry, thirsty, dizzy, and still felt incredibly insecure about myself.  I felt like I had to suck in my stomach for every photo I took and was generally unhappy with how I looked.  I was confused as to why I felt that way because…I was at my goal weight, wasn’t I?

The photo on the right was taken in December 2014. In it, I am both 15 lbs heavier than I was two years ago and I had just eaten a huge lunch right before I went to the beach. It didn’t even occur to me to starve or purge that day, because I now know that self love and acceptance isn’t achieved by punishing your body, but rather building yourself up for improvement.  

Recovery has taught me that I only have one body and that happiness and acceptance aren’t defined by a goal weight or a body type.  It’s about loving yourself for who you are and seeing your own potential to be the best possible version of yourself that you can be.  Since then I decided that I will not miss out on a majority of life just to weigh a fraction less.

Help a Trans Woman get on HRT

Hi, as many of you know my name is Chaya; I am a Jewish trans woman and I am requesting your assistance.

As a sort of new years and birthday goal, I really want to make my appointment sometime this mid-January to get started on T-Blockers/Hormones because I’m incredibly unhappy with the way I am now. Essentially, I’m not living.

I need assistance if I’m really going to make this appointment because I’ve got a very high Verizon bill that’s been hovering over me for quite some time now, and in addition to that I have a large PG&E bill that’s threatening to make my next month incredibly tight, probably to the point where I won’t be able to get on the medication I need.

ANY amount donated is useful, even something like 25 cents, and if you can’t donate PLEASE reblog this so that people see this. (I would also accept donations in the form of clothes if anyone has extra because I have next to nothing in my closet that’s feminine, but I really need funds ATM)

Please contact me if you have further questions or if you have clothes you don’t want or anything like that; I’m not a talented artist but if you want me to doodle something or if you have something else in mind, send me a message and we can work something out.

My PayPal is ChurchillRouth@Gmail.com (which can also be found in my description)

Having very mixed feelings about the spoilers right now.

In complete honesty, I will be incredibly disappointed in Ishida-sensei if he simply kills Eto off. She has consistently been such a compelling and unique villain, completely unlike anything I have read in a long time.

A female villain with such depth, that was so powerful and terrifying, and brilliant just…….is such a rare thing.

And if Ishida simply threw everything away for the sake of “Now Kaneki is super-powerful”, I will be incredibly disappointed.

Like….then what? Where does Aogiri fit into things with the head cut off? What point was there in establishing these incredible abilities, such as whatever she did to Noro and Kanae?

Like….that’s it? Two chapters of conflict and he just kills her? She just dies without even a real battle between them? Her story, the core story which influenced so much of the entire series, just….over?

God, I hope Ishida doesn’t do that. That he doesn’t throw away an incredible villain and dozens of threads just for the cheap shock.

Its not that im not happy for Finn...

Because I am. I love Finn Balor. But I also love Roman Reigns.

And I’m VERY UNHAPPY that they had the chance to pull the trigger on a Roman Reigns heel turn and once again, they fucking choked. Its incredibly demoralizing, especially when Stephanie blames him for not bringing the goddamn title home to Raw when guess what, neither did Seth fucking Rollins, bitch. And yet you’re practically already crowned him by placing him in the damn title match at Summerslam.

And now Roman is in this purgatory where he has to be like “yay Finn, i’ll be back for another shot” when in actuality, he needed to go find Seth and beat the ever living tar out of him, simply for being Stephanie’s little golden boy who gets title shots without lifting a finger. And turn heel in an exciting way. And now Roman doesnt even have a direction to go in now from here, it seems. And I cant believe that i and so many others feel this sorrow for him in this situation and yet people boo him for even sneezing. I’m…i’m just so tired guys. I’m tired.

that upd8 fucked me up, but i have some things to say.
i am incredibly sad with meenah’s choice, but i can already see the meenah hate arising. meenah has no reason to be hated for leaving a relationship she was unhappy with. sure, she could have stayed and talked it out a little. i really wish she would have. but before you guys start throwing complete shade at meenah, please consider the following:

• meenah’s life was constantly consisting of adventure and thrill. it is odd to her to just be sitting and doing nothing while having no purpose.

• (vriska) HAS changed. some people may view it for bad, and some for good. although she may ultimately be a better person, she doesn’t have the spunk that meenah fell in love with.

• meenah isn’t necessarily a good person. if you look at her past, she tormented damara until she turned to a raging homicide, blew up all her team mates, ect. so why would she stay with the new and improved (vriska)?

• meenah is not heartless. at the end of the upd8 she is seen crying. it’s obvious that she feels bad for hurting someone she loves.

• along with her crying, it can also be interpreted as her wishing that her and (vriska’s) relationship was the same as it always was. this change must have hurt her a lot.

I love that Alec accepted Magnus’ drinks request because I’m so happy the show is not making Alec a character that is in denial about his sexuality because there is a a fair few of those characters on TV already. Alec seems as though he is well aware of the fact that he is gay and has admitted ‘hey yeah, i am gay’ in his head. But unfortunately in his head that sentence seems to be followed by ‘I’m pretty unhappy that I’m gay though’. 

I think a few people are getting confused and think that Alec is in denial of his sexuality but if he was, he probably wouldn’t accept Magnus’ drinks request. He isn’t stupid, the way he’s trying to act cool but is incredibly awkward at the same time, I think, really shows he knows Magnus is asking him out on a date. I also think Alec knows Magnus was flirting with him in episode 4 because how many times has he seen Izzy flirt? He knows what flirting is. He isn’t oblivious. 

I also think Alec is simply unhappy with his sexuality. I think what Alec truly hates about himself and he is unfortunately connecting it with a direct line to his sexuality, is that he is in love with his parabati. That seems to be what he truly hates himself for. Because in that clip we saw of Jace and Alec in episode 5, he wasn’t even happy with Jace touching him because of what he thought Jace knew. Yet he says yes to a date with Magnus… So, just from that, I think it seems Alec hates himself a lot more for being in love with Jace and is punishing himself more for that, than for being gay. And he is just unhappy with his sexuality because of the homophobia where he is and because he is directly connecting his sexuality to being in love with Jace. 

(This is simply what I think is going on with Alec right now. I’m not saying I’m right just an idea. Also this is exclusively for TV Alec, I’m not pulling anything from book Alec with this.)

of all the birthdays I’ve celebrated, today is easily one of the greatest. I got to stay up till the early hours of the morning with the most brilliant boy while he played guitar for me and now I get to prepare to spend my evening with my closest friends. I am so incredibly lucky. it’s hard to believe this time last year I was so unhappy with my life, it seems things really are looking up lately. 💞