Even his grump face is adorable. How could he intimidate anyone?
THE MOST ADORABLE. ALL OF HIS GRUMPY EXPRESSIONS ARE SO CUTE I CANNOT,,, ,
HOWEVER. Do not piss him off for real. Because Keith absolutely has the ability to intimidate you:
Keith is dangerous. You do not want to become his enemy. Wanna know why? He is scary when he loses his temper, sure, but look at this:
Keith is calculating. The times where he keeps his cool he knows 100% what he is doing, risks and possible failures included. He was able to fight side by side with Thace and leave him to die a few seconds after. He is realistic, has a sharp mind and an even sharper temper - we’re lucky that he hangs out with his friends so much because on his own he would be terrifying :P
I have no objections with people liking Nesta but I don't understand why people would ever want Cassian to get with a woman like Nesta. He deserves someone better than anyone that is set on demeaning him. He is lighthearted and a good person. He deserves better.
Sigh…you got me in quite a mood dear anon so deep breath and rant ahead.
You have been warned.
So…I never understood the concept of love being a reward for someone’s ‘good’ form, character or behavior. And I am not even going to get into the whole glamorization of love as an emotion and the concept that is something solely good and pure and only ‘good’ people and certain ‘characters’ and ‘snowflakes’ experience it or should experience it.
I will stand on something different though.
People are not objects and trophies and prizes that one should get for being good and for deserving ‘better’ (and BTW, I will get to that too in a while).
Relationships are not about deserving and about perfection and about what works on paper. Relationships can come in many forms and bonds and it is about people that find something in someone else and then they work through their shit (and in this case both Nesta and Cassian have a lot shit to work through) because they care enough to make their relationship work. Because you get to fall in love for many reasons and you get to love the flaws and the imperfections. You get to like a person because you are attracted to them for whatever reason logical or illogical. Because they intrigue you. Because of lust or intense emotion. Because they take you by surprise. Because romance usually is about personal conflict and growth and collision. Because in fiction this brings drama and it is interesting for many people especially when it includes complicated characters with many layers and depth that help each other’s characterization progress and development in many ways.
But hey. I get not liking a character or a ship. It is your prerogative. You might not like the chemistry of two characters. You might not get it. You might be allergic to it. You might not care for it. You might not understand it. You might hate it. You might not be able to tolerate the story or a character or a concept. It is your right. I am not here to dictate to you what to like and what not to like. Something is not your cup or tea and your personal taste is different from that of another person. Different strokes for different folks and all that.
But here you are in my ask box. I get not liking a ship but why would you come to the blog of someone that likes it with such comments? What do you gain? Stick to your lane and ship and let others ship.
Also…seriously…I am in awe.
You are here to tell me that the half a millennia winged Illyrian Fae warrior who is basically a LORD OF FREAKING WAR that is leaving mountains of corpses in the battlefields and has been shedding blood for centuries is not deserving of a 20-22 year old woman with limited experience that she is just start beginning to understand what life is after leading a very restricted and limited one. This is what you are telling me right? That the man that brings horror and is capable and able to bring nations to their knees and is known by the freaking Bone Carver as the Lord of Bloodshed is not deserving of a …young girl while he is the winning prize in the lottery for Nesta. Am I getting this right?
The superficial way people view certain characters astonishes me.
Cassian is not a ray of sunshine and not an innocent lighthearted and most of all balanced person. Cassian is one of my most favorite characters in the acotar series (Top Five easily). But he, as many characters of the book, is a grey character that can often be amoral. You don’t get to become THE General of the Night Court and the commander of the Illyrian forces and part of the Inner Circle by being solely moral and good and …nice.
Cassian is dangerous. Like Alpha Male dangerous. He is an experienced man. An experienced OLD man. The fact that he looks hot and young and is energetic with a six pack does not change his age or his position in life or who he is. And if you put that in contrast with a young girl with Nesta’s history that has not even traveled the world yet -while this was her dream- then who ‘deserves’ who can become a very long argument.
Cassian is indeed a good man but he is carrying a load of crap and baggage on his shoulders. He is over half a millennia old. He is a FREAKING GENERAL from crying out loud. The fact that he cracks jokes and is supportive of his family and friends does not take away all the blood he had shed or the scars that has left on him (and he will bring those scars to whatever relationship he enters). It does not take away that the bone carver called him the Lord of Bloodshed. Cassian is a killer. A professional one at that. No matter how noble he is (and he is) that does not change that it takes a certain kind of bloodthirsty savageness and mindset to rise to where he is now. Cassian views fighting and cutting through people as if it is an art. He walks hand in hand with death. He commands the Illyrian forces of the Night Court.
For centuries he is mixed to a dysfunctional emotional triangle with both of his best friends in a way that hurts one of his two brothers -because this is what Azriel is for him- and he is in a complicated mess with Morrigan. He has codependency issues with Morrigan, Rhysand and Azriel. He has shown to have suicidal tendencies (add homicidal to that too). He is not all sunshine and charm and jokes. He goes to the battlefield to kill and to count the dead and inform their families. It takes a certain kind of heart and soul and violence to wage war. To kill people. To do that for half a millennia. He is feared and terrifies his enemies. He has self esteem issues and even depression signs (as surprise surprise so does Nesta). He is haunted by ghosts of the past. He is afraid of commitment. He is menacing. He has sent monsters into the prison of the Night Court. He is ready to cut through his enemies like butter or condemn them to an eternity of imprisonment.
He has lived lifetimes. He has experience both on the light side of life and the dark side of life.
Say what you like about Nesta and her behavior but in the end she is just a..girl. She is not experienced with life or men for that matter. She has been sexually assaulted and sheltered. She wanted to travel but did not got a chance. She is very young and thrown in a life and nature she had not wanted. How old is she really? 20-22? And for you a 22 year old -tops- girl with limited life experience does not deserve a 500+ years old man because that man is somehow an optimist and an extrovert and so good? You are seriously going with that right now?
Because Cassian needs to be coddled and a bitch like Nesta is not a good fit for …him? Because a man needs …deserves…as sweet woman as a reward right? Because a woman has to apologize for everything in her character and become less so to fit the needs of a man because of what he deserves and if not then…she does not deserve him. (My mind’s wires are short cutting right now I kid you not).
If anything it would be more healthy for Nesta to not get involved with a man like Cassian until she has some decades at least on her back and a lot more experience.
Many people say that Nesta is mean with Cassian. And she has bitter outbursts with him that is for sure true up to an extent but no one ever pointed out how Cassian when he first met Nesta had already formed an opinion over her as if he had the right to do so only because his new friend (which he barely really knew) told him (mostly alluded) some things that did not involve him in any way. From the very start Cassian had judged Nesta and played judge and jury with her and had condemned her without even exchanging a word with her. Not even Rhysand that was Feyre’s mate did that.
Nesta was right to tell him that “You know nothing about who I am, and what I’ve done and what I want.“
Why wouldn’t Nesta be hostile with him? The guy has boundaries issues. And was quick to judge her. He is a centuries years old persistent (borderline obsessed) Fae male that …can’t stay away. Romance aside let us not start glamorizing certain people and acting as if Cassian is perfect. He is not. He has flaws. There are no saints and sinners in this equation. Nesta has not treated Cassian right all the time but Cassian has not always treated Nesta right either. And if we take their character traits into account this was bound to happen.
Yes Nesta is an asshole. But guess what? Cassian is an asshole too. He taunts, he mocks, he insults, he provokes, he uses his sexual experience as a weapon of choice, he intimidates, his uses his body as a way to make others step back, he throws tantrums, he hides behind jokes, he is reckless, he is hard. In the first sign of true intimacy he backs down and alienates people. He has been all those things with Nesta. He originally was surprised and even took offense because Nesta ignored his good looks for crying out loud.
Cassian even in Wings and Embers tried to intimidate her while he barely knew her. A human 22
year old girl that could crash with his little finger while he could
tell that she had no experience in physical combat or men. He used his
nature, his body, his words to make Nesta less of who she was. To make her feel uncomfortable. His game was less than honorable back then. And when
that did not work his infatuation started to run deeper and they both entered a game of push and pull and love-anger/hate and bickering and…understanding.
That does not make him a bad person. He is a good man. A messed up mortally grey good man with honor. In the same way Nesta is also a good woman. A messed up angry woman with a moral code that for getting to see you need to watch past the surface. A woman that got inspired by Feyre’s and Cassian’s honor and made Cassian proud. A proud woman that has made mistakes but is learning from them and tries to better herself with actions. Something that Cassian sees and respects and maybe even has also done in his long life because everyone starts from somewhere and faces difficulties and trauma in different ways and learns and grows and moves on.
Nesta grew up with the same superstitions Feyre grew up when it came to Fae people. Do you remember how Feyre herself acted with the Fae at the very beginning before she grew to know them? And yet Nesta allowed Fae men to get into her home. Nesta’s interest when it came to Cassian himself surpassed her prejudices before she was even thrown to the Cauldron and turned to High Fae herself.
Nesta was traumatized after been thrown in the Cauldron. And so was Cassian when he had his wings shredded… but he could not stay away from Nesta despite the boundaries she was trying to put between them. It was his choice to go over to her over and over again despite being rejected. No one from the fandom ever speaks of the trauma Nesta had been subjected too and how Cassian’s needs should not surpass her needs over this. But sure.. Nesta is mean so Cassian’s needs must go first. But just maybe this is not about romance or about what a man deserves. This is not about Cassian getting to feel better. And yet somehow this is what it all ends up too.
Introvert vs Extrovert. Young age vs Old age. Man vs Woman.
A man that has lived his life to the fullest vs a woman that has not yet lived.
Who deserves who.
Does Cassian deserve Nesta? Does Nesta deserve Cassian?
In my opinion who deserves who is a bullshit argument to make for this sort of subject. I can give you a dissertation of why Cassian does not deserve Nesta too. Or why he does deserve her. And vice versa for the other way around.
Truth is that in my opinion they complete each other. It is not just opposites attract. Cassian found an equal in Nesta despite their differences (that are many). Mentally and intellectually they are equal and similar even.
Blade and fire made flesh. Death made flesh. They fit each other.
Cassian is a killing machine and Nesta now holds death in her fingertips. While Cassian always walked in death. But more so aside those parallels that mirror each other they also click as characters.
Cassian shares the same values with Nesta. The same need to protect others. Nesta kept saying how she wanted to help families and children. Cassian has the same view point with her. It is in his very core the need to protect others and this was in the end what Nesta was ready to sacrifice herself for.
Nesta that is so cold on the outside because she feels everything more intense than any other in the inside. Cassian that is so easy going on the outside because he is broken in the inside. Nesta that uses cruel words as a shield. Cassian that uses jokes as an armor. Nesta that hides her emotions and vulnerabilities. Cassian that does the same in different ways. Nesta that is afraid to let others in. Cassian that observes everything both in the battlefield and outside of it. Nesta that scares people. Cassian that is not and could never be afraid of her. Cassian that intimidates people. Nesta that refuses to be intimidated by him. Nesta that throws insults. Cassian that throws tantrums. Cassian that turns his pain to playfulness and his weakness to anger and battle. Nesta that does not allow anyone to see her as weak and turns her rage to ice and her pain to faux indifference and hostility. Cassian that gets his power from his warrior nature and training. Nesta that wants to be empowered and get agency in different ways. Cassian that leans to order and anarchy. Nesta that leans to order and freedom. Nesta that is now the emissary of the Night court. The bridge of the human world with the Fae world trying to balance an understanding between two worlds. Cassian that is always trying to create an understanding between the Illyrians and the rest of High Fae and the man that becomes a bridge when he has a death count in paper and has to inform all the families of the lost. Nesta that her power is now connected with death. Cassian that has been walking in death. Nesta that is too serious. Cassian that is too aloof. Nesta that is too proud and disdainful and willful. Cassian that is arrogant and cocky and prideful. Nesta that is all about manners and propriety. Cassian that is insolent and all about wrecking buildings. Cassian that is serious when needs to be and Nesta that needs to relax and laugh more. Nesta that prefers a book and solitude and Cassian that in silent moments shows a more grounded version of himself. Cassian that people overlook his intelligence. Nesta that people overlook her humanity. Cassian born in a world that does not value bastards. Nesta born in a world that does not value women. Nesta that does not let others in. Cassian that is not making any serious commitments and relationships. Nesta that is so afraid of what she feels for Cassian that prefers to keep him in arm’s lengths using insults and distance and Cassian that is so terrified of what he feels for Nesta that gets completely out of sync when she shows him tenderness and interest. Cassian, the Prince of Bastards, that wanted to find his place in the world and be a man with value despite his heritage and Nesta, the terrible Queen, that after loss and building emotional walls wanted to go out to the world and see what a woman could so and leave her mark in the world. Nesta and Cassian that both dream of a better more equal world for bastards, children and women. The same coin from different sides.
And really this is not about a competition. You do not fall in love with someone that is perfect for you in theory. You get to fall in love with …people. With imperfect people. You get to love them exactly due to those imperfections that make then unique. I cannot stress enough that this is not a matter of what someone ‘deserves’. It is about what someone feels. It is about what makes a heart tick. It could be the most weird combination. It could be insane. And volatile. And easy going or difficult until it aches. In the end it is all about understanding and Nesta and Cassian can understand each in a deep level that is mostly instinctual at this point. It is lust and attraction and sexual tension (like …seriously!) and struggle (because nothing that is worth it comes easy in life) and it is understanding and feeling and silent communication and attraction in all levels.
And guess what… Cassian deserves this. He deserves a person that won’t use him as a sexual object so to get out of predicament and then use him as a shield against his best friend and create conflict in him and in the relationships that define him. Cassian deserves a person that won’t be afraid to stand up against him and with him. That won’t be charmed by his superficial sexiness and distractions. That will be an equal to him. That will shout to him miles away to get him out of danger and he will hear that voice calling him to safety. Cassian deserves a touch. Deserves to fall in love. To have a person that can see when he is hurt. Cassian deserves to get a chance with the woman he is choosing to fight with him and die with him and the woman that he is ready to search to the other life just so to have a chance with her and not regret not spending time with her. The woman that when he in bleeding and unconscious he will try to defend till his last breath. The woman that has a name that he keeps hearing in the wind. Cassian deserves a person that can see beyond his facade. Nesta that understands how dangerous and how noble Cassian is because he sees what others don’t. Because he sees beyond the surface. Because he sees who truly Nesta is. And who Nesta is is someone that Cassian not only wants but would be damn lucky to have. A woman that will stand up next to him and won’t allow anyone to offend him and she won’t judge him for his past. A woman that will surprise him. A woman that will shield him with her body against death itself. A woman that will try to carry him away from danger. And if she can’t help him she will stay with him till the end. She won’t run. She won’t lie. She won’t be dishonest. She won’t see him as a charity case. She will stay for the good and the bad and for hell itself. Cassian has been a bastard that had found family to the inner circle of the Night Court and friends and family but something has always been missing. A sense of true belonging. To have someone stay with him as the world burns and protect him as he protects others. To have someone truly understand him and use honest actions instead of words. Yes Nesta and Cassian are in a clash of wills but also in a clash of hearts.
But sure thing. Cassian surely does not deserve this and I do not get why people like Nesta and Cassian as a ship either.
FINE! I'll stop not because I can't win this argument Alex! Your just keeping to repeat the same thing over and over and you have no good comeback because you don't even understand the situation!!! but I'll stop only because john asked nicely and I don't won't to cause any problems to him and not like mister Hamilton I AM NOT BLIND !! and john don't worry he'll open his eyes some day (Hi!love your art and I am really happy that your replaying to my comments and actually making them answer!)
He’ll shut his mouth now.
( Hey! Thank you I’m glad you like it xD It’s pretty fun to let the characters answer)
Hello, I don't know if I am the first request but can I ask how the Holy Trio [ Deku / Katsuki / Shouto ] deals with a short girlfriend please ?
Yes, my first request! Thank you for sending it in, I hope it’s okay! ^u^ I also included the guys’ heights for a reference!
Midoriya Izuku (166cm - 5′5″)
- He’s not short, but he’s not particularly tall, either
- so he understands your struggles!
- he’s actually happy you’re shorter than him, it makes him feel taller!
- i mean he’d love a tall girlfriend as well, but something about the fact that you’re shorter than him makes him really proud (to protect you! even if you don’t need it)
- he likes to wrap his arm around you and rest his chin on the top of your head when you’re cuddling
- when you can’t reach something, he will always do his best to get it for you!
- but that doesn’t always work, if it’s up really high
- but he’s prepared for this kind of stuff, so Midoriya has a stepping stool thingy at home to use when he can’t reach things in the higher cupboards (that’s what I have ‘cause I’m short haha)
- his mom is also short so the entire house is more or less within your reach. yes feel free to stay over at Izuku’s!!
- if there is no stool, he will try a number of other things to help you: 1) jumping 2) climbing on something else or 3) asking a taller person for help
- usually the third option works best, but he likes helping you himself most of all
Bakugo Katsuki (172cm - 5′7″)
- he’s not super tall either but he’s taller than Izuku which he’s happy about
- is actually a bit insecure about his height - he wishes he were taller
- he doesn’t let those worries show, however! or rather, they sometimes manifest in rude remarks
- because of this, he loves teasing you about your height since you’re shorter
- calls you “pipsqueak” - it’s about as affectionate a nickname as he’s willing to call you (rather, it’s the only one he doesn’t get embarrassed with). But if you dislike it (and tell him) then he won’t use it.
- no one else is allowed to tease you about your height though. Only Bakugo. Even if you don’t mind, he does!
- “what the hell her height is perfectly fine are you trying to start a fight??”
- as long as you don’t mind, some of your classmates will tease you about your height just to rile Bakugo up
- he totally uses you as an arm rest 25/7! It’s not actually more comfortable for him, but he likes touching you, and this is a way for him to be affectionate without making it obvious what a tsundere
- when you ask him to get something for you that you can’t reach, he will be surprisingly compliant (although he may complain a bit)
- he actually really likes it when you ask him for help, and small things like these are easy to do
- if you ask someone else to help you reach something then Bakugo will get really jealous and he will change his mind
- “Kacchan please get this for me?” “Ughh can’t you do it yourself?” “Oh, then Iida can you help m–” “I’LL FUCKING DO IT” “Thank you~” “grumble grumbles”
Todoroki Shouto (176cm - 5′9.5″)
- probably isn’t even aware of the extent of the height difference between you two until you start dating
- he finds it really cute how you have to stand on your toes to kiss him, and how your head rests against his chest when you two hug
- he wonders if you can hear how fast his heart is beating when you do that, because he is definitely a little flustered
- loves hugging you from behind! Arms around your waist and chin on your shoulder or head
- Todoroki feels safe this way, and less embarrassed because you can’t see how red his face is
- he will hand you whatever you can’t reach without question
- if you’re too proud to accept help directly, he’s also okay with that - he will make you an ice stool on which you can step to reach what you need!
- he did that once in a mall for you when you couldn’t reach a hat, but the workers there were not pleased with having to mop up water later so now you guys don’t do it as much
- he doesn’t mention your height much, but if someone else were to make fun of you for that he will Fight them
- or rather, intimated them, because most people aren’t willing to fight Todoroki
- but he would totally fight for you, especially if you’re sensitive about your height
Thank you again for the request! Midoriya’s is a bit shorter than the others’, hope it’s okay! I love these guys, please send in some more requests! <3 - admin Soleil
i am new to ifnt and rly dont wanna make anyone mad but i don't see the big deal abt woohyun. yes he is hot and can sing but why does every1 love him so much? i dont mean it in a bad way jst that i dont see how he is more popular than others. also i dont see how his voice is so different to other kpop singers? but then again i am new so maybe i dont kno wht i am talking about. pls help me to understand more?
You caught me at the absolute pinnacle of my Woohyun feels, which happens every year around his birthday. And therefore (with a little help from my friends) I have constructed this little list of reasons why Woohyun is absolutely deserving of the amount of love he receives from Inspirits and why it’s kinda hard not to love him, even if he isn’t your favourite member…
1. WOOHYUN’S LIVE VOCALS
Woohyun is known for having what many call a ‘power-house’ vocal. You can always rely on him to hit those incredible high notes in INFINITE songs. He’s known for being able to bellow out his lines; his voice is strong, loud and instantly recognisable. But he also pours a lot of emotion into his vocals, every note dripping with it. His solo album Write.. and his subsequent appearances on Immortal Songs 2 showcased another side to his vocals too; a softer side, gentle, quieter but without lacking that trademark emotion in his voice. It really proved he’s a versatile vocalist, and not just there to yell at the top of his lungs (but it’s still incredible when he does). Here is Woohyun performing on Immortal Songs 2. This appearance earned him the highest score for an idol on the show at that point.
He is (in my opinion) one of the best live singers in kpop at the moment. I can’t think of many people who could hold a candle to him, really. Yet he is still improving and working on his voice; he still admits he has far to go.
It should be noted too, that after this performance, Woohyun and INFINITE gained a lot of new fans who were impressed by him.
3. WOOHYUN’S PASSION FOR SINGING / MAKING MUSIC
As I mentioned above, Woohyun wrote and composed ‘함께 (Together)’ for INFINITE while they were taking part in their first world tour. During their movie, Grow, which showed the behind the scenes of OGS, you see Woohyun jumping up in the middle of eating to go and compose.
His relationships with the other INFINITE members are really sweet. Just one recent example would be: even when everyone was teasing Sungjong and being kinda mean (including Woohyun), he did then reassure him that there would be plenty of INFINITE schedules soon and that he needn’t worry. He’s also super affectionate with the others, and you’ll often find him touching them or correcting their hair/touching their face/leaning on them.
Actor Woohyun!!! He’s been in multiple dramas, but my personal favourite is Hi School Love On, where he played Shin Woohyun… Please watch it if you haven’t already, it’s so good (and it’s all available on KBSWorld’s youtube channel with subs, here)!
Like you mentioned, he is ridiculously good-looking and is known for not having had any surgery - that nose and that jawline are aaaaallll natural, ladies ~~
He loves football and plays for FC Men (FC 멘), an all-star team affiliated with the Suwon Bluewings alongside other celebrities.
My closing statement is this: usually when you stan a group you’ll have a favourite member, one you look at more than the others, one you might pay a little more attention to during MVs or performances or shows. But then often (and in most cases when it comes to my Inspirit friends), you end up loving them all. Your bias might even change (maybe even many times). You’ll find it hard to stick solely to one member, especially when the rest of the group are so damn lovable. Soon enough, you realise you’re OT7 biased and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Do yourself a solid and give Woohyun a chance. I’m sure you’ll see why everyone likes him so much in no time.
How can a man that loves a woman make bruises on her? How can a man that loves her even do such a thing? I don't wanna be hit by no man I want cuddles and kisses and love. What is wrong with women that want to be hurt or beaten? Why do they want him to hit them?? I'm trying to understand why... if he is willing to hit or beat her is he abusive? What's abuse if it's not? Should a woman be okay with this? I'm a little having trouble understanding... I was beaten as a child and never want that.
I am really glad you asked this question, and I would encourage you to examine and process my answer with an open mind.
The thing to understand about BDSM in the first place is that its an adult kink. One in which most (ALL SHOULD) engage in with complete consent and respect for each other. It doesnt always happen that way, but the base and core of the old code dictates that it should. Its much more than leather and whips and chains… its much more than some 50 shades of garbage or terribly made porno would have you believe.
Some of the key elements that go along with what we call “Impact play”, that is what you describe above in loose terms, are things I would invite you to investigate more after you have finished reading this.
Consensual Non Consent
An element in which the parameters of the relationship and the scene (or playtime) is discussed ahead of time between the individuals. Basically what it means in simple terms is that the couple agrees to what will and wont happen and ACT as if the submissive in the relationship has no say in anything, no will, gives up their power, etc. to the Dominant. This should always come with the safe word option, that is.. the word that will bring an end to the activity and cause it to immediately come back to “vanilla” (the plain common worlds way) and then aftercare and such can be administered. This usually only exists during scene play, casual encounters of playtime, and in Master/slave relationships.
And yes it can be done the wrong way.. just as anything else in our lives and relationships can be. It can cause harm, it can cause mental and emotional damage, it can be abused… but so can anything in vanilla relationships
TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE
No two BDSM relationships are the same.Each has their own ways, rules, etc… but we all share common elements. You may also sometimes see the relationship referred to as D/s (Dominant/submissive) and with that, there are several… flavors we could call them.. of those relationships. The most extreme of which are Master/slave in which the “slave” gives up all and total rights.
But guess what… she does this willingly and of her own consent and control. These kinds of relationships usually come with preconceived contracts at the start, and clauses within those contracts that also include safe words for extreme situations. When the submissive or slave decides to give up complete power to her Dominant she is expressing that she also has total and complete trust in this person to care for her every need, fill her every desire and give her what she needs to feel whole
What she needs to feel whole is hers and hers alone. That could be anything from a daily spanking, to being tied to the porch and left for 8 hours a day. Thats her kink. her will. her desire… and she places those things in his hands with the trust that he can then reciprocate what it takes to please her.
Kinks can stem from various things
The world of psychology, anthropology and human studies is going to tell you a lot of things in regards to why people act the way they do and like what they like.
Just because a woman enjoys being spanked, doesnt mean she likes being slapped in the face. Just because she likes being slapped in the face doesnt mean she sees it as abuse.
A good portion of littles in the DD/lg and CG/l portion of the kink are the way they are because of things that happened in the past. More often things that happened just after the last time they felt safe and innocent. This is why you will see them talk about having a little age.. or more technically, a regression age.
regression therapy has been used since as long as anyone can remember in therapy and psychology in order to get the root of certain issues in people and then expose them to be able to begin the therapeutic process. Its nothing new, and the kink side of things uses it as many things… for kink, for coping, for safety and security… like I said, no two relationships in this lifestyle are the same. No two submissives, Dominants, slaves, littles, pets, etc are the same either… even if we all share commonalities.
Part of the kink is whats called IMPACT PLAY
Impact play in its most simple form is the use of physicality during scene play (playtime, sex, intimate time, etc)
This involves everything from spanking, to paddling, to flogging, slapping, objectification, and more. Basically anything that involves physical interaction in a way that isnt vanilla sex.
But again, realize this… its something that is talked about, agreed to, worked out and planned in advance. If it isnt, that’s rape. Not to be confused with rape play, which again, is just like impact play in that its agreed upon and worked out ahead of time with safety, limits and a safeword.
These are playtimes that involve the consent of both (or more) parties involved. And it is in no way shape or form about abuse.
The submissive asks the Dominant to do these things. And he does them because he loves her. He wants to fill her needs, he wants to see her be pleasured. And just because she derives that pleasure from taking a swat with a paddle or having hot wax poured on her… doesnt make her or the action wrong.
You might like to race cars, or eat spaghetti, or build dollhouses or whatever and if someone else doesnt get their pleasure from those things, they still dont have the right to tell you what to enjoy or how to enjoy it.
Just in the same way, no one has the right to tell her that enjoying the paddle or the saint andrews cross is wrong. Because its what she wants. Its what she consented to. Its how she copes, gets pleasure, gets the release she needs from stress of life and so on and so forth.
Taking the paddle is no different than being a quarterback in the NFL
One of the reasons a boxer becomes a boxer is because he enjoys the risk of being punched and hurt. But he also enjoys the rush and the feeling it gives him when said actions occur.
To put things in better perspective: Force = mass x acceleration
A good paddle is made of solid wood. Usually a quarter inch to half inch thick, with at least a 4 inch wide blade, and a 2 foot long paddle face. In the hands of an average built Dom, a paddle will hit the bottom of a submissive with roughly 800 lbs of force, traveling anywhere from 30 to 40 mph before strike at its most powerful swing. The bottom (depending on its size) takes a certain amount of the force and works as a shock absorb-er, rifling the waves of impact down her legs and up her spine and across her body . … and leaves considerable bruising, and gives her a full body experience she cannot get otherwise.
An NFL quarterback who is moving at a rate of about 10 mph away from his aggressor will take a tackle from a 250lb man with an impact of 1000 lbs of force at comparably 6G’s of speed.
Why do I compare the two?
Because both are consensual. Both are risk. Both have reward. Both are known about before hand, and both are beneficial to the parties involved. Is it wrong for the quarterback to willingly step into an arena where he knows the risk of being tackled and injured by a man much larger than him exists? and without a safe word to tell him to stop.
Then why is it wrong for a consenting woman who is actually in control of her situation to do the same?
Note: This section will contain facts from scientific studies, college courses, medical journals, doctoral papers, and sports medicine. These are things that I learned from college courses and the papers and studies that went into them.
The health benefits of activities that involve placing stress on the body (like high impact excersize and extreme sports) are enormous. In the same way, a good spanking can deliver a parallel experience to doing the Insanity workout.
Among the fact that the endorphin rush, dopamine enhancement, and feeling of accomplishment just for starters can bring, theres also the growth of cognitive functions in raising the brains awareness of the self.. which improves your executive functions or rather the higher level thinking skills you use.
the neurological growth that occurs through the changing and growth of the chemicals in the brain, which helps to increase your focus. during high impact situations you become micro aware of your own body and what its going through, which helps to increase self awareness and get in tuned with yourself.
Improving your focus makes you concentrate, which also improves your memory. the stress of the situation makes you think faster, which improves your reasoning and reaction.
Taking a good spanking can actually improve your willpower. Scientific studies show that a persons willpower (their ability to make decisions that are better for them than others and avoid those that are harmful) is actually linked to executive function of the brain… which is improved through the growth of cognitive function… which can come from high impact play.
High impact play is also scientifically shown to reduce stress, anxiety, give you emotional resilience.. it fights (and actually can prevent) depression, increases pain tolerance, reduces fatigue, makes your brain grow (encouraging the growth of new cells), improves mood and happiness, improves sleep, boosts productivity, reduces addictive behaviors, and overall improves, enhances and grows just about every positive aspect of your life.
AND IF ALL THAT DOESNT MAKE YOU THINK…
Then let me hand it over to some older submissives and littles that I asked about the subject. Because really, when you need an answer on something… get the facts from the source. So i surveyed 7 older submissives with great experience and here is what they told me:
Submissive female 1: “For me its cathartic, it gives me the ability to release whatever stress or shitty thing thats going on in my life. Its being able to place myself into the hands of someone who knows and loves me, and allow them to take everything that I can give, and give me everything that they can too. Its not about the pain, its about the growth of each person I think. It makes me feel strong. It makes me know I’m strong even when I feel like I’m not. D/s gives me security. It makes me feel at home. It helps me to know that I’ll be okay because I have someone who will help me be ok.
the impact part, thats where it becomes more than just a physical thing. Its a mental thing too. its a spiritual thing. It connects me with someone deeply… and it gets me off.”
Submissive female 2: “
In the above scenario, if a man is hitting a woman and it is not part of a negotiated, consensual scene it is abuse. This woman clearly is not interested in engaging in impact play, and therefore her partner should respect that.
In regards to her attitude, other people do things within their relationships that don’t make sense to others and would not work for them. For instance, I have a girl-friend who goes to the hospital for medical procedures alone. Even major surgeries. She doesn’t want her husband there. I can’t imagine going to have an organ removed from my body or a bone set with out my s-o there to support me. However, this is their preference and it works for them. I can’t tell them its wrong and I shouldn’t judge it because it isn’t my relationship, no one is being harmed, and both partners are happy.
In the case of sexual relation ships and consensual kink the same principle applies.they are both consenting, both happy with the situation, and no one is harmed or had their consent violated as a part of the experience, it is up to the individuals involved to determine if its right or wrong.
Submissive female 3: In my case its a turn that comes with an extreme amount of trust in the person doing the hitting. I need it for control in my life but to others it might be something different. It isnt abuse if both parties are in agreement of each others limits and the key word should look for is CONSENT for BOTH parties involved.
Why would you put bruises or marks on me? Think about it.
Personally I would feel owned if you marked me in that way… Sure you could just slap a ring on it and call it a day but marking is more intimate and means more to people receiving and giving the marks”
Submissive female 4: “If both adults consent than its not abuse. Like so many others, I have been abused physically, sexually, and psychologically… to this end I cannot abide verbal degradation or closed fists swinging in anger.
That said, on the days I am feeling numb, chaotic mentally, the lashes of physical pain give me something to focus on. When attempting meditation one uses mental exercises or recites a phrase. there are times in my life when that is effective. For days its not, physical pain gives me something which to start my focus so that my mind can follow suit once I hit that sub space.”
Submissive female 5: “Love doesnt have to physically hurt. However, the some people enjoy the contrasting sensations of pain and pleasure as they are opposites and heighten the senses. It would have to be in the confines of safe, sane and consensual with open communication and explicit direction as to what is and is not acceptable in their dynamic.
There are multiple ways to both give and receive love (as seen in the 5 love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman) and no one way is correct for every person and people can have multiple love languages. However, love should not be fear based out of physical attacks”
Submissive female 6: “i think its about the difference. Just like how theres a difference between spanking a child and abuse. It should never be done out of anger but rather to give a reminder to not break the rules.
When its done for the pleasure of the one being hit, it should still never be done out of anger. The sub has some control with the use of limits and safe words that would not exist in an abusive situation.
there are a lot of reasons why pain can be pleasurable. it is a reminder of your endurance, it provides a special warm and tingly sensation that is unique, and a spanking can send a vibration down through the body that touches on other sensitive areas.
i also like the sore feeling after a workout because it makes me feel strong and tough. plus the after care is so calming and affirming.”
Submissive female 7: “For me the purple bruises are beautiful reminders of my time with my Sir. I enjoy the spanks and hits to my ass and tits. i crave them from time to time. They are releases for me. Not punishments.
To me its not abuse because we have that trust and communication. The hits actually put me in a place where I dont think, but feel. it lets you just feel”
Notice the trends? consent… strength… thinking… feeling… trust…
Hopefully this has shed some insight on the topic and given you a better perspective on the lifestyle and the way impact play is treated and regarded.
It’s a lonely road, and one I never thought I’d travel. I never would have imagined this to be my path of life. It’s been an uphill struggle, with sharp bends and sudden dips—sometimes I lost sight of the top of that hill.
But it’s the hill I chose to climb, and now… here I am, at its peak, looking back into my past. My perspective has changed. Here I am, at its peak, and I’m not looking up anymore.
(Have I left you behind? I reach out, can you take my hand? But everyone is still climbing their hill—I’ve reached the top of mine.) Here I am.
Where do I go now? There’s no more path, no more road to travel, not like the one I had. Will I ever get that back, that path towards something?
Where do I go now?
I’m wandering. I’m lost.
Can you see me, from the top of this hill? Can you see who I am?
See who I am. I am what I love.
And I love you. I love what you do; I love who you are. Each and every one of you—a unique and individual human, climbing their own hill. So take my hand, and we’ll walk this next path together.
My two best friends, we’ll call them L and M, from college and I live really far away from each other. But every week on Fridays, we set aside our lunch hour to do a gchat, and catch up on our lives, and sometimes we talk about what we’re reading/watching.
My girls aren’t big into the fandom (they have personal tumblrs but never use them anymore, they don’t pay attention to fandom stuff, etc.) but they love to talk about Riverdale as a group (mostly because we can just laugh about how ridiculous it is a lot of the time and how much we still love it).
For context: They think Bughead are cute enough but L likes V*rchie more and M doesn’t really care one way or the other about the romantic aspects of the show, so I’m the resident Bughead ‘shipper. (At least we can all agree that B*rchie is 5000 shades of wrong).
Anyway, we got to talking about how everything played out in “Death Proof” and it was kinda fascinating to see how they perceived the J*paz/Bughead stuff.
We all agreed that the BH reunion was super rushed.
L said, “I YELLED at the screen when I realized we don’t even get to see them make up on screen after all that?” and M said, “If it was going to be that easy for them to solve everything why didn’t they just do it last week?”)
And then we were talking about the whole rebound thing and whether Betty is going to ask about Toni after she saw them in the diner, and M said, “I like how one minute he’s bummed that Toni doesn’t want his dick and the next he’s all mad at Betty for breaking his heart.”
And L was like, “Yeah he’s wanted it both ways since she showed up.”
Neither of them think Jughead did anything wrong by fooling around with Toni. But to them, it was clear as day that it wasn’t like, a hurt/comfort thing, it was a “hell yes this hot girl wants me and I want her, let’s do this” kind of thing.
And on the one hand it’s like, “Yeah, I see what they’re saying because the whole thing rubbed me the wrong way, too” but then on the other hand it still surprising that both of them came to that conclusion so definitively. Like, it wasn’t even a question in their minds. Yes, Jughead was/is into Toni, moving on.
Now I’m perusing reviews of the episode to see if other people outside the Bughead fandom came to that conclusion. And I saw this from Elle:
After we see that Toni stayed the night at Jug’s trailer (wearing nothing but one of his t-shirts), the two grab breakfast and Toni puts an end to whatever was brewing between the two, presumably to leave room for Betty and Jughead to rekindle by the end of the episode. And let’s be honest, it wasn’t Jughead who seemed to regret what happened between them.
And yes, this is three voices out of the, what, 2 million people that watch the show? But it all just has me thinking: fandom can be a bit of a bubble and it’s easy to find comfort in confirmation bias. We study the minute details to glean meaning from every single moment to better inform our understanding of this thing we love and then other bloggers tell us they agree with us and it all starts to feel like fact.
But sometimes I think that means we can miss the big picture? None of us want Jughead to want Toni because that puts a much more sizable dent in our Bughead hopes and dreams.
So we all start to try to get inside his head, her head, the writers’heads to see this whole storyline in a way that could make sense. But these casual observers, who watch without looking for what they want to see, who just see what Riverdale is showing us on the screen, seem to have come to a completely different conclusion.
I just want to be clear that I’m not discouraging deep dives and character studies and finding parallels and subtext because those things are, in so many ways, my favorite part of this fandom. In the past two weeks, I have ready so many incredible, insightful takes on Jughead and how his past is driving his decisions, and it’s helped me feel like I understand him better.
I just am wondering how often in seeing what we want to see plays into how we interpret what’s going on on screen. Thoughts?
I keep telling myself I don’t love you, it’s gotten to the point where I can lie and I almost believe it but then I see you and my heart starts pounding and all of a sudden I can’t remember why I don’t want to love you, stupid right? I think so because then I remember why I can’t love you. You’ll break my heart, you’ll make me feel loved, happy, and everything else but just when I start thinking you love me too, you’ll leave. You’ll leave and forget all about the late night calls, the good morning texts, & drunken kisses. You’ll leave me and then I’ll be left to pick up all the pieces. You’ll break me so until it’s true, I’ll keep lying.
Mom. Dad. I have something I need to tell you.
What is it sweetie?
You know you can tell us anything.
I know. It's just... This may come as a shock to you both.
Haha. I'm sure we can handle it.
*inhale* Okay... I'm not dating Sun. We are just friends.
That's more along the lines of relieving new dear.
The reason why I only like him as a friend is because I like, no, love someone else.
Please tell me it's not any of his other teammate.
No dad. SHE isn't. *Looking a bit more nervous.*
Blake. We know you are bisexual. And we still love you no matter what. After all we knew right away that you and Ilai weren't doing late night combat training.
We will always love you, Blake. Plus, Now I don't have to warning about early grandkids.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding... Partly.
Sigh. Okay that answers a few things but that's not all.
Oh? What else is there?
Blake. You can tell us.
*She begins to shack with tears in her eyes.*
Sweetie. What's wrong? *Both her and Ghira get up and move to Blake's sides, both hugging her as she she cries.*
She... She saved me from Adam... And... And lost her arm because of me. *sniffle* She has done so much for me. And I left her when she needed me the most to protect her.
I'm sure she will understand. Though, I never thought Adam would attack other faun-
She's a human.
It's part of why I left... Adam said he would destroy everything I love... I was afraid if I stayed with Yang. He or the white fang would go after her. It's why I... I wanted to bring her here, where I thought the white fang wouldn't be but I was afraid... I was afraid that you two would be...
*Pulls Blake into a tight hug.* Blake. My baby girl. We love you no matter what and no matter who you love whether they be a Faunus or a human. I mean, We did start the originally to unity humans and faunus.
*Smiles and hugs her mom.* Thank you mom. *she then turns to her dad who is in deep thought.* Dad?
... I'm sorry Blake. *he said as she stood up.*
Dad? *She said with a heart broken look.*
Ghira? *She questioned as they watched him walk to his deck and open a drawer pulling something as he walks back over.*
You said her name was Yang? As in Yang Xiao-Long? *He asked handing the object to Blake, Kali meanwhile suddenly having a look of realization.*
Y-yes. *She said confused taking the object realizing it was a framed picture.*
Then I am sorry Blake. But The woman you love isn't just a human. *Ghira told Blake who looked at him confused before looking at the picture as she gasped. The photo showing a younger Ghira and pregnant Kali with a younger Taiyang and pregnant Raven.* She is half faunus.
I don't... I don't understand.
What I'm saying Blake is... *Deep breath.* Our future Grandchildren have a less chance of getting your ears.
*Blake stared at her fathers serious expression as it slowly breaks into a chuckling smile making her laugh as well as she stands up and hugs her dad.* I'm sure they'll still look lovely.... Thank you. Both of you.
Of course dear. *Kali smiled hugging her husband and daughter.*
We love you Blake. No matter what... I just hope She doesn't have Tai's taste for terrible puns and jokes.
okay guys. i’m thinking about archiving. i’m thinking about dropping this blog and remake akira since i love him so much but i will remake him. however, i won’t give everyone the url to the new blog aside from a few people that i really trust. this is no offense against you, but i honestly do not feel safe on this blog anymore. as much as i love akira and the interactions as well as the relationships i built up with this blog, i don’t want to drop him. he’s one of those muses that makes me comfortable to write, however, i don’t feel comfortable staying on this blog any longer. i am really sorry, but this entire thing just keeps me anxious and paranoid, so it’s better to remake my blog. if you want to stay with me, just like this post and i will follow you on the new blog !! this is nothing against you, it’s something personal. as of now, there will be some preparations until i archive this blog, so please give me some time until i’m done. there’s alot to take along after all.
I don't think I am in love with my husband. I do love him, but it deels more like the love you have for a friend. I'm trying to figure out - if, when, how, etc... I should leave. He only sees that we are better than we ever have been before. He isn't going to see this coming. Is there anyway for me to make this easier?
Hello! I’m really sorry! But, as I have never been married I can’t say I understand how you are feeling, but I will try my best to come up with some advice that hopefully can help you out!
So, I assume that at one point you thought you were in love, as you did get married. And that’s a good enough excuse to no longer love him. Sometimes people fall out of love for the same reason they fell in love in the first place. But I think it’s important that if he doesn’t make you happy then you need to do soemthing about it. Try talking to him about it and discuss how you’d like to proceed, communication is key!
He might feel the same, he might not. But if you aren’t happy then there defintly is someone out there for you who will. It will be hard to leave him, if that’s waht you decide to do and think that’s best for you and him. But when it comes down to be stuck in a marrige with someone you don’t love and being happy with someone else, the second option might be the best. But please, be sure of your feelings and decision before you do anything. So I suggest that you talk to him about it and see what he says. Maybe you can figure out a solution together!
Hopefully I helped a little and I wish you good luck! Feel free to come back and tell me how it goes!
I’ve written my second song about Shouto Todoroki because my love for him cannot be contained aND HE MAKES ME REALLY EMOTIONAL. I hope you enjoy if you listen!!! Thank you guys for all the love you showed Sparks Rise! It made me unbelievably happy. ahhh. <3 [lyric video]
I have found a place to land where I’ll be safe and sound.
For the first time the laughter that I hear is mine.
I close my eyes and I wait for the beast to come alive to ravage all the beauty I now hold inside.
I don’t know how to let go, forget the storm.
Break me out of this standstill. I can’t follow the changing skies til I can see what these stormclouds really mean.
If I light a fire now Will I burn? Will I burn? Can I still see rays of light with your eyes? Am I cursed?
Apologies are more familiar to my tongue than flowery words of the heart that I am afraid of.
Don’t be alarmed if in my arms you burn, burn, burn. I know I’m more than how I’ve hurt.
It’s like the calm before the storm. I don’t want to fear anymore.
Break me out of this standstill. I can’t follow the changing skies til I can see what these stormclouds really mean.
If I light a fire now Will I burn? Will I burn? Can I still see rays of light with your eyes? Am I cursed?
Ashes rain. Your mistakes swallow all my better judgment.
My fire climbs higher when I make myself forget.
Break me out of this standstill. I can’t follow the changing skies til I can see what these stormclouds really mean.
If my heart ignites today You will burn. You will burn. I’ll carry your memory to the pyre of my fire.